Nebulus

My recall has been mehhh for a while, i've been sick, so my journal entries have got shorter and shorter...Now is the time to plum the depths of my memories to do these scraps justice, and let them loose on the world (well type em up).

D1 - Very vivid dream,I notice in a very small room, that for some reason I know is very high up...Is it an attic maybe? Yes behind me was a hatch door. There is a window with a thin white curtain with bright light streaming in. Anyway I notice a roughly painted hinge on the wall in front of me that is green and blue. It needs touching up with blue paint. So I get a paint brush but no sooner do I than the world literally turns upside down. I hang on for dear life as the room is tipped upside down. I have a feeling of my stomach lurching like on a fairground ride. The room stops moving and I notice a can of black paint has emptied onto the floor, fortunately also a load of clothes seems to have been dumped there too, on top of the paint.
Next the room starts to move again and the hatch behind me flies open, I hang on desparately again, feeling im going to fall any minute.

D2 - With my parents somewhere in the countryside I need to go pee, so I leave them in search.
I head down a path in the afternoon sun, it heads down between trees on a woodland path.
They're are people about everywhere so I can't find anywhere to pee. I search and search, eventually I try and head back the way I came and come across some kind of cave. I have a great deal of trouble getting out, it is very dark and cold. There is a European woman with blonde hair there. I have to climb up a stair case which seems to be made of dental plastic braces things, ugh. They are moving all over the place making my progress very unsteady.
Eventually I get out and am near a pavilion style hut and a boy steps out and shoves me in the right direction. I get to a type of marble underground station. I think it is called "talos" but am unsure.
I have a old fashioned gold wrist watch with buttons on it that I use as a phone to try and contact my family. I get through to them but feel I am lost and can't get back to them as I don't know whether I am imagining thing or am where I think I am. Desperately I use my powers to transmit myself hologram style to where they are but my powers fade and I am lost.

In a dark and foul tavern, many people dressed wretchedly are eating foul smelling dishes of food. They look animalistic in my eyes,
and all seem to have lots of facial hair. There is a thin mist in the tavern of either cold or cooking smoke from the fire, it is unpleasant and damp. We are being offered to sit and join these people for food but are repelled, one even begins to be sick from copious amounts of ale. Evidently not a five star establishment, we leave.

I guess there is a lot that disgusts me about myself and I try to hide from, and be higher than, but it is still there, part of me.

Lots of syncs corresponding to something in my dream, so I don't know whether it also symbolises something else, probably

D1 - I am at my parents house all is dark, its a wintry morning. I'm wearing a quilted jacket and am in their kitchen then locking up before I go out. I am scared of something unseen a presence/feeling. I double back and check they are a sleep. They're door is closed signifiying they are still a sleep.
I take a small steel key to lock the back door, I feel the cold of the key against my fingers and fiddle with the lock, checking and re-checking. This action is slowly waking me up in the dream. As I feel vague stirrings of my consciousness, as if a mist is lifting or becoming less foggy headed.
Outside the ground is frozen with a light snow. In the distance I can see children surrounding two cats that appear to be fighting.
I preceive that the childtren are in some way encouraging or in some way to blame for the fighting.
The cats are jumping into the air as they fly at each other.
Two of the children walk in my direction, I am scared and angry at the same time.
I finally realise it is a dream, and say to myself are i'm dreaming. I wonder what to do and can think of nothing except to release my pent up emotion by kicking one of the children up the butt.
The other child has a funny blue and white, thick woolen jumper and matching woolley hat. He has long fair hair and looks on bemusedly.
I remember that I need to stabalise and rub my hands frantically together but then I wake up.

[Comment]
The action of touching the key in the dream clearly triggered my surfacing from the normal dream state.

D2 - Long dream where I am working with another teacher in a large lecture threatre, preparing stuff for later. I am interrupted by a manager who askes where a painting has gone missing. I pretend to look for it, in the hope she'll go away.
Similarly, I try and escape from an office later on some pretext or other in the hope of not being found out.

D1 - There was a creature that did not need human comforts, it moved out of the house where it had been as a human. It now lived in a hollowed out tree, surviving on things left on the tree floor. It was very cold and dark but it did not care. It just existed. Children came to the tree and it did not mind or pay them attention.
It went to work and carried out its duties with minimal interaction with others their and was able to dupe them into thinking it was a human.
The creature reminded me of the groak from the moomins.


D2 - At college sitting outside with a group of others, a girl is tuning up her guitar. A string is broken. It is a steel length with barbs on it. I offer to fix it and use my powers to melt and then stretch it back to normal.

D3 - Taking my daughter (when little) to a cinema to see a film. The cinema is on two floors and is very stark, qrey concrete walls. I buy tickets only to find the picture is not on, as the projector is not working. People are occupying themselves by eating in an upstairs resteraunt or drawing on the large screen with is not in use.
Eventually the film is back on but it is not the right film, no one cares as it is a children's film and pretty much the same. But I know my daughter will care and try to get a refund. I cannot however find my receipt or remember if I did infact purchase a ticket.

D4 - Some of the college students from the earlier dream are having a car race, the car is multicoloured with slogans all over it, mostly green thougth. We are in last place with the other cars infront bunched up. I use my powers to fix the car in time to speed ahead and win at the last moment.
In the student bar after their is a guy who was on the other team. I am concerned he will pick a fight with our team leader, so I invite him to sit with me at a table, away from the others. I then will be able to use my powers on him if he tries anything.
I ask fi who is there if she will hold my hand, I use my powers and when we hold hands it does a glowy red thing.

[comments]
I feel I have been living a life with no joy. Fairly bleak like the groak.