Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am between sleep and wakefulness and I hear my dogs barking outside, when suddenly I wake up with the sound of my front door slamming and I feel scared. I am confused and think that the only other person in the house is my mother on the ground floor and she would not go outside in the middle of the night for any reason, which worries me even further. Then I actually wake up and realize most likely no one slammed the door and also that my mother isn't in my home at all, it is Riverstone who is sleeping downstairs and I just had a false awakening. My dogs are also quiet, so I don't know if them barking was also part of the dream.

With Riverstone on a van going up a road and the engine is not managing to pull it up. He is driving and he steps on the accelerator to try to reach the top of the hill, but on a curve he loses control and the van rolls over to the side of the road. As we tumble, it gets dark and Riverstone loses his consciousness. I shake him hard and he doesn't wake up. I am really worried. When he finally does, we are in bed at my mom's house and he asks me why am I shaking him up like that. I am confused and tell him about my dream. He says that I am just remembering a traumatic event and I say no way, I don't recall it ever happening in the past. He says it did, we had that accident. I feel more confused about what's real or not. Then we go to the kitchen for a snack as he says now he is angry and we reheat some pizza on the microwave. I think about how I would never eat pizza in the middle of the night, but I am starting to feel maybe none of this is real, so what the heck, I actually eat some and ask for more. Then my mom comes and asks what's going on, I tell her the whole story and continue to chat while eating. Then I am worried we might wake up grandma and mom says "you're really confused, she passed away some time ago, it's just us here". Then I realize once again I am still dreaming all this. Then we are at a fair, where we volunteer at a booth. It is a mix between art display, book sales and alternative medicines. I am rearranging some books on a table and again confused about what's real or not, when some friends come over from another booth and I tell about my confusion and the whole accident story and that I can't even remember my best friends' names. They show some concern, but then some wild boar enters the place running and causing much damage, until he gets killed and someone takes it outside to the back of the building and leaves it on the ground temporarily. I go take a look at it soon after and some dog like a Husky is trying to eat the boar. He is making a mess so I shoo him. He doesn't like and attacks me. He actually looks more like a wolf now. I climb some structure to get out of its reach but it is not enough, the dog or wolf jumps high and almost bites me. I stop it with my arm and a sort of punch to its head, which beheads the animal. The animal's head falls to the ground and the rest of the body vanishes completely. I am in shock and that's when I realize I must be dreaming. So I lift off flying up and as I leave the ground, I realize I am inside some giant barn like structure. But I try to get rid of logic and let my mind roam free, so when I reach the ceiling, it just inverts and then there is like a second barn upside down. I enter some sort of backroomy dimension with buildings growing upside down and sideways and I just go through them and through wooden walls, ceilings, etc, just trying to get lost in the nonsense, not trying to make it right, trying to make my mind maleable. Then end up in a version of my own attic, but looking like a 60s lounge, with lots of yellow pillows and puffs on the floor. I plunge again in the wooden walls and this time I end up floating in a void for while, almost waking up. After a few seconds I start seeing the inside of the wood in big detail, as if magnified or if I shrunk to microsize. I don't feel my body, just my head, so I feel an urge to lick the surface with my tongue and it feels scaly. Then I am in a regular room but decorated in cluttercore style. There are so many carpets, plushies, curtains, pillows and all sorts of colorful bric-a-brac all over. I feel compelled to just admire it all. I realize my mind is trying to distract me with stuff, lots of stuff, but I indulge for a while. I go from room to room and each one is crazier than the other. Some rooms I need to go up or down through some wall mount ladder to reach the next room. I then see a box of jewels and a mirror in a small cozy bedroom and can't help trying them on, feeling that I am falling for the temptations to distract me. When I look in the mirror, I look absolutely goddess like. For fun I make the jewels, hairstyles and hair color change. Then I remember that often when I look at myself in the mirror in dreams, my face starts shifting and becoming mosnter-like, so I decide to take control of the process and just cause it myself, to fight that fear. My face slowly melts and I become ugly, my eyes all dark, fangs, messy hair. It makes me feel uneasy, but not terrified, because I am in control. I think about meditating next for a while, but I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the location of some teachings I am attending, I am amazed by the architecture and decor of the place, the temple, the gardens. I am helping out and looking for a mop to clean something when I stumble across Em. She takes me to her own apartment to get me a mop and says she is also tidying it up. And it really needs, it looks like a hoarder's house. She claims it's her mother who likes to have stuff covering every surface. I find that odd, from what I know about her, but say it's the same with me and my mom, except we don't want to, it just happens. Our teacher is on-site and welcoming small groups for personalized conversations and teachings in a large reception hall. He is receiving a group which I join in by mistake and they are talking about Jesus and calling themselves a church, it all sounds satirical yet they are truly commited to the part. I have no clue what they are up to, but not my business, so I leave. I am then invited to join a larger group who is having some kind of reception with food and drinks. We sit at a large U shaped table that goes around a U shaped corridor. Food starts being served and I ask if this is dinner, they say no and then I reply we will be full and not need dinner later. I meet some nice people and one guy is recording snips and bits of the event and makes a short clip with me, which distracts me for like 10 minutes, enough for all the food to disappear. They suggest I go directly to the kitchen and ask for more, but the only tray they still have is taken to another group and there is nothing left. I realize I am so hungry and can't wait until the next meal. I almost have a meltdown because of it.
Some guy and girl invite me to go out and look for some café or other place to eat and I join them. The location feels like some European city with modern buildings. I feel Berlin vibes but it actually looks more like London. We are at some terraced passageway and then we need to go down some stairs to reach the main street where there is the subway and they are asking me where I am staying and where would be more convenient to go and I have no idea. They ask east or west and I mention vaguely an area but my mind is blurry. Then for some reason I decide to not go with them anymore and we separate. I then spot two ginger cats sleeping in the street, their backs against a wall, and I approach to see if they're ok. Apparently so and anyway I can't take them with me, so I leave them be.
Then it gets blurry again but I am with a group of 2-3 people in a room and they aren't friendly to me and are menacing somehow, so I leave and try to lock the door behind me. I can't, so I start zigzagging through rooms and realize I am in some kind of the Backrooms, as each room has 3-4 doors only leading to another room and so on. Some are empty, some look like normal rooms in a home. I start becoming lucid and think of what to do next. Not sure, have no plan, but I spot a door that opens to an absolute pitch darkness and I decide to jump through it as a portal and see where I land. Doesn't go as planned. I just enter a darker and most dangerous area of the Backrooms, filled with monsters. First I stumble from room to room in the darkness, finding some hints of a faded light here and there showing a door or some furniture against a wall. Then I came across the first monster. It looks a bit like Venom, shiny black slim body and a big head with sharp teeth. He just appears out of nowhere and falls on me. I just have time to grab his head away from mine and we fight on the floor. I try several hooks to keep him imobilized as I try to find a weakness to hurt him. Eventually I manage to grab some object and slam it into his head, but it takes a lot of times to knock him down and he bits me a couple times. Then I continue wandering and encounter a metal staircase leading to upper or lower levels. I go up and enter a level that has victorian decor in the hallways and beautiful colored bead curtains hanging over many doors. As soon as I cross one such doors and it makes a distinct sound of beads against each other, some woman with a kid appears running and yelling that I just attracted the creature. The creature is a hollow blue mesh figure, a bit like the other slender figure before, but more hunched and walking on four limbs. The front limbs a bit longer than the back limbs. And the head is very thin, basically a neck ending in a jaw. I don't even know how this creature can hurt, because it looks so frail, but it is scary nonetheless. We run upwards but all the next floors are still in the same style with the same damn curtains. Eventually I enter one such floor any way and allow the creature to follow me throughout the rooms. I then face it and grab its head to find it is indeed frail. I rip apart the head mesh as if it is cardboard and that is it. Then I think I see the kid again, can't tell if he is the same, but must be. I call him closer, I don't see his mother around. He stares at me, doesn't move or say a word. Then he gets closer and I noticed he has a snake like tongue and he is actually preparing to attack me. He is just another monster. He tries to snatch me with his tongue and I just have time to jump to the side and escape him. Turns out the woman was walking on the ceiling like a spider and also throwing her tongue to catch me at the same time. Instead both their tongues get entangled and when she pulls her tongue in she swallows the kid whole. I run away again through rooms and rooms, until I find a new level which looks more like the real world. I hear human voices, but not knowing what it is I hide in a room which looks almost normal, with a bed and sheets and even some light coming from some kind of window. I hide under the bed when I hear the voices approaching. It is two guys and they close the door behind them, looking scared and looking for something to block it. They seem human, so I decide to reveal myself. I don't want to startle them, so I whisper to get their attention. They are still spooked at first, suspicious of me, but they end up trusting I am also human. They say they were being chased by some being who looked like a giant leprechaun with two heads. And either he has two faces on the main head or he can send one of the faces down a tentacle-like arm and generate a second head at the end of his arm. The creature arrives at our door and starts pouncing on it heavily. I help them hold it up, but we know he will eventually break it, so I look around for something again that I can use as a weapon. There is some sharp metal thingy from the bed frame and I grab it. The monster finally blasts the door open and throws us down on the ground, but he doesn't come in right away, instead he peaks with his tentacle head first and I stab it with the sharp metal. The creature leaves in agonizing pain, but I still get to see its whole body and main head and it really looks like a leprechaun with a beard and some dusty brown clothing and a semblance of a hat.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Waiting for my mom outside some empty store. Seems like a bankrupted travel agency. Inside it, there is a couple behind a computer working on something. There's some supports with some advertising outside. I grab a leaflet and I kinda break the support and then I struggle to fix it. Meanwhile the couple inside noticed it and is looking at me with blaming eyes, but they don't say a word. I say I am sorry and stop trying to fix it. Then the guy gets up and walks towards me to say it's ok. Embarassed, I go meet my mom who is next door with some old coworkers, instead of waiting here. They are debating that they want her to lead them into a strike and legal fight as she did decades earlier sucessfully. She declines several timas but they persist. I am feeling disturbed and want to leave. I am bored to death and my stims are about to explode. But she says she can't and aks me to wait outside the room they're at. I look around the building and besides this room, everything else looks basically like a damp basement with endless corridors like the backrooms. I go explore a bit and at some point it gets really dark and the corridor is very narrow. In the dark I encounter "the smiley" entity. I punch its face and it is made of metal. I grab it and throw it against the wall, over and over until it is crunched and unable to harm me. Then I walk back to a more illuminated area but I am chased by two other entities. They look like crash test dummies and they are made of hard rubber. I punch them too, but to no effect. I am about to be subdued by them and see a third coming over, when I finally manage to escape to the main corridor I came from originally. I find another strange moldy and smelly room with people living in sub-human conditions. They lie on wooden bunkbeds like the ones on nazi concentration camps. They are dirty and scared as if prisoners of the entities that control the corridors. Some kids ask me for my help changing a babie's diaper. I agree. But the baby isn't humam, seems more like an entity itself, a living doll. Doesn't seem harmful though, so I help taking care of it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

The big news is that it was made a first successful human head transplant and it was made by switching the heads of two persons. My mom tells me this could be good for Riverstone because they can just switch him to a new body. I am wonderding if he'd do it and struggle with the idea of having my head severed and plugged with tubes and being attached to a replacement body.

At home with Riverstone and I am butt naked when I spot my dad through the window, bringing someone else with him. I look around for a robe to wear and find nothing. Riverstone is already at the door to open it, so I can't sneak out to my room, because I'd have to come near the door. I have a very long t-shirt and a cardigan in my office, so I put those on. But I am not entirely comfortable as I am wearing no underwear. My dad comes in and finds something strange in my attitude, then I see my uncle Fernando is the person he brought along and I rejoice seeing him as I never got so say goodye when he died. Then I see Rui and I am over the top thrilled. He looks younger and healthier than when I also last saw him and I hug him tight. I ask him to join me outside while my dad and uncle talk. He holds my hand and I take him through a door which instead of taking us outside, takes us into a sequence of surreal rooms and storages, until we get to a small room with victorian decor and a velvet green sofa. We lock the doors on both ends and we kiss and make out sitting on that sofa. But when I stop kissing him for a while, he turns into some girl with black hair. She is cute and all but not whom I was engaged with, so I let her go and leave to the surreal corridor behind the door. I start being chased by a ghost. I can feel it and sometimes even see it as it creates a distortion in the background. I grab a stiletto shoe I see on a shelf and start hitting it when it comes too close. It is invisible but has mass when I hit it. It gives up hiding and appears in a visible form. It is a very big frog and it was just trying to protect something and not attack me. I look behind it and I see what seems like a shop with everything related to frogs. I find it absurd. Then I look around and see now that I am at some huge mall. There are people entering a big supermarket, there is a floor with just cinemas, there are many shops... I don't know what triggers me, but I feel upset with the mindless consumerism that I see, so I raise my hands in the air to destroy some billboard or screen with telekinesis power and I watch people freaking out and panic. I become lucid and know I won't hurt any real people, so I start making everything collapse into dust. Then outside I see other big buildings, cars and machines and I turn them all to dust. I want to experience a world where none of this exists anymore amd soon I am walking around in an idylic paradise. Looks like the garden of Eden, food grows in beautiful gardens full of flowers, lambs lay down in the middle of the flowers, people are sitting everywhere in the grass and around lakes, just enjoying themselves and the sun and beauty of the world. Seems wonderful and after a while also quite boring. Nobody does anything but contemplate. The weather is fantastic, food is provided abundantly, no one has to do anything which is great, but then I think maybe a couple cinemas and other entertainment here and there would not be so bad after all, if people kept a healthy balance.
Anyway, I decide to jump to some other random place/dream so I use a puddle of water as a portal. I plunge into it and as I do, I remember some friend had asked me if I had ever swimmed under water in dreams and how it felt, and I think I did but here is a good chance to try again. Instead of coming out on some dry place, I just dwell on this water and swim away. It becomes an ocean and I see corals and sea urchins and I concentrate on the sensations I am feeling, like breathing under water and the sensation of water in my hands as I push it. It does not feel exactly like the real thing. It feels much more like I am actually flying over the water and what I feel around my body is thicker air and not really water. But I plunge deeper and manage to get a more realistic sensation. I even hold my breath to better simulate the experience.