Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In Brussels, penniless and in pijamas on the street for some reason. I take the subway without a ticket. I just need to travel a couple stations to one where there is a public restroom I can use, but I come across a ticket fiscal and I exit abruptly in the wrong station. I don't risk going back, so I decide to walk.
Meet some folks at a park, one is my old school colleague Ana S. and she invites me to join them. Some guy is trying hypnosis on her, but she is not cooperating. Another person tells me she is highly anxious and this way she can't be healed. Apparently she has a problem with a horse that doesn't allow her to ride it and it is something with her that needs to be balanced so the horse will accept her. They offer me to come along with them on a boat ride down a river. They drop some dude at a university and I feel interested in joining him. I wonder if I can just drop by and look for work opportunities there. My friends provided me with some stuff and now I am carrying a trolley with a few items inside.
At the university, walking down a hall, I spot a small department library which must be related to men's reproductive health, because the sides of the shelves are all shaped like penises and it is hilarious. I take a couple photos with a phone I now have and some idiots come by complaining that I am not respecting the privacy and right to image protection of the people inside the library. I explain that I am only photographing the dicks, yet they still bother me. I go away and pass by the cafeteria. I am so hungry and I need a coffee and I am glad they have very cheap prices, like coffee for 35 cts and nice cakes and a variety of weird sandwiches. They also sell something weird like a hot dog but the sausages are not served whole, they are cut in slices, dipped in different sauces and then spread on a weird bread. The sauce's flavors are awful, like mint, cranberries, strawberry and I just can't find one I would consider edible.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Had some lucid moment in front of a mirror, but then lose it. I hate my clothes and look, so I make magically appear a gorgeous princess dress and then get horny with myself. I pull the dress up and expose my nether regions in the mirror and summon some dildos to play with. Some dog big hairy appears and gets on top of me and humps me. And the weird thing is I let him for a while until I realize this is kinda sick and I want it to stop. So I become lucid again and break it. I get up, go out and see some scenario I think I had dreamed of before at least twice.
There is a big group of people outside, then on a black horse comes some lady like a Queen, of whom people are afraid of. I remember from having this dream before, that she'll boss me around and I am not in the mood. So I freeze everyone and everything around, like even the birds in the sky. Some people resist a little bit my order to freeze, so I yell to them that I am in charge. When everything is totally still, I admire the details, I focus on the shapes of the clouds and then I see the International Space Station falling from the sky and smashing against a building. I go check it out up close. There is some kind of engine burning fuel and I climb on top of it, almost get burned by the flames, but make some joke about it, as I know it can't possibly hurt me.
Then I see a door behind this burning engine and I go in. Looks like an entrance to a theater, and once I get inside I am followed by Darth Vader, who stands there at the entrance, looking menacing. I run from him down a corridor that gets tighter and tighter until it becomes a tunnel and then the tunnel starts descending until it is a sliding pipe. It gets tighter and tighter, until I feel stuck and unable to get out. Plus the walls are covered in chocolate. (Looks more like I'm stuck in a sphincter ). I start digging around to remove chocolate layers from the walls until I slide down and find myself out of it. Once outside, I am in a strange locker room and hear someone discussing how they'll clean us up and then will chose 2 or 3 girls. I don't like the tone of the conversation, and try to escape through a door, but end up cornered in a room with a balcony where some guys are assessing girls like they are meat.

There is a fire in Á-dos-Loucos and firetrucks are going up the road in a long line. Then behind my mom's building, the gates of all the houses also start burning. It is clearly arson, but now all the firefighters went up the hill for the other fire, so no one can put these fires down.

Checking in at some place, like a college and then hostel. The procedure involves interviews and putting applicants interacting in small groups. I pass and I am admitted without hassle. But later on I pass by the admission area and there is an enormous queue and everyone is complaining about the time it takes. Bad Wolf is among them and I have this fuzzy feeling of having him being my colleague again. I picture us becoming bf and gf and marrying and me owning half of his business. When everyone is checked in, we take a field trip and we get to meet each other and assess each other. When we debate whom we seem to connect to and whom we think will end up fighting, I say I don't fear anybody in the group because I could handle them all, since I noticed we are all about the same size (males and females alike).
We have a quick lunch at the hostel, but some prefer going back to our college as the options there are better. We eat a soup and then some pastry. I then need to go to toilet and it is a unisex with two stalls and very little privacy. David the Kid is also rushing to the toilet, so I tell him to go first and instead I go look through a window on the corridor, with view over a lake on the back of the building. I spot 3 toads who change colors. Some are white with black patterns and another is blue and green and when they spot me they all turn brownish and dive into the muddy waters camouflaged. I find them awesome and then tell David about it but he tries to spot them and can't.
We join an afternoon activity with our hosts. They take us to the back of a local meat processing plant and show us how they observe the workers conditions and denounce them. They sometimes make live vigils, often they end up dumpsterdiving and salvage lots of meat. Back at the hostel they explain they are really into meat eating not only because they get a lot for free, but they believe they need it and start telling individual stories of some of them who became strong and other BS because of their meat diet. I feel it's time to go away or else I'll end up disrespecting our hosts. So I get up with a colleague and we say thank you for your hospitality but we are leaving. I go back to the room we were supposed to stay for a night and I pick up my bags and lots of electronics and headphones we brought in for some reason.
I go down to the lobby with my colleague and she asks me to do the checkout with her right away, because we have a ride. But I find they have a really nice library on the ground floor. Some guy approaches me rudely asking for help and I reply that I don't work there. He says "ok, but you study and stay here, right? I need some info about this book about Angola" I say no, that I am a biologist for many years and notice some incongruity in what I am saying. But then Marta P. comes to us, presents herself as the librarian and offers to help the dude.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting some island and something is off. I am heading to the local library and the streets are deserted. When I get to the library, I am almost kidnapped by aliens. I hide behind the shelves but they kinda mock me saying they can see me using infrareds. Some lady comes out of nowhere and rescues me, She takes me to a decontamination shower saying that I got radiation because I contacted with the aliens. Then she takes me to an area not yet taken by the aliens and she reaches out to the police.

My foot hurts but I still go on a trip to the US with some friends. One of them is doing a documentary about the health system and takes us all to a hospital to inquire about costs. We use my own case to ask how much they'd charge for an appointment and right away they ask for $1000 just for just a blanket to wrap me up as I await consultation. I then show my foot to a doctor and it is swollen, two small toes feel numb and my veins are red and popping. I am freaking out that I can't afford treatment but also afraid I can't go home like this either. The doctor says I seem to have a liver problem and I am like "What? I think I just broke a bone."

Again at a doctor office, but for some exam in which I need to fully undress and they have no other place for me to do it, but at the waiting room. I do it, but then spot some old pervert trying to film it on his phone. I yell and take his phone away but other people are sympathetic with the old man, who claims he was just messaging his family.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Riverstone is showing the house to his professor and I haven't met him yet because the house is big. Actually, some 4 floors, including a whole restaurant on ground floor. I realize the professor is leaving and they are at the restaurant, so I go down there. He asks me how I am and I complain that I hardly have time to visit parts of this house, let alone clean it, but I need to work on the computer to make a living. When he leaves, I look at the restaurant and think "why don't we rent it to someone?" Really good idea, but then I wonder "Wait, when did we buy this house?" And I realize it is only a dream.
But I lose my train of thought to some story about a murder of a kid in a medieval town.
There was a couple who used very incipient forensic techniques to investigate crimes and they were trying to investigate this case, but the mostly ignorant people thought they were actually serial killers with a fetish for corpses and didn't understand their observations and collection of evidences and samples. One day a mob attacked their carriage and they died stupidly. I am sitting at a library table, reading about these stories and I am disturbed by a guy who is sitting too close to me on the bench that runs along the table length. I ask him please to move away and he behaves irrationally, keeps harassing me. Then he farts. So then I decide to do the same to him and start moving closer and pushing him away from the bench until he almost falls to the ground, and he gets pissed and goes away. Some kid passing by sees all my forensics books and goes ask an adult what the hell is taxidermy and why I am studying those disgusting things. I feel them looking at me with the same type of incomprehension I believe that couple from the past probably experienced.
Then I visit a friend who just started working at some food processing plant or big supermarket with food processing. She is sleep deprived and something happened that she was scolded for and she is crying. But a couple colleagues come to praise her, aware that she is working overtime as she is replacing two other people who left. So they also get teary while thanking her for actually having brought some relief to them, who were previously taking up that workload. I feel bad for them, because I work from home, make my own schedule and sit on the computer and definitely don't go through that level of stress and exhaustion. I tell them I wouldn't trade places with them, and it comes out not the way I intended, so they give me a blank stare, but then they admit they could not do my job and it is what it is.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

I accidentally get cast for the pilot episode of some tv show. It goes well but the whole team finds out some illegality from the studio or producers and take them to court. We win the legal battle and get a millionaire compensation. But the whole project is disbanded and started from scratch by a new team and a new cast. We meet the new cast and it is full of legends, living and dead, like John Wayne.

An article on a magazine about this portuguese actress who is a fascist and everybody hates. It says she got rich from selling some ideas to television or something, but I get insider info that she might have committed fraud and some person wants to show me the proof. My cousin João M. is driving me in a car along my friend Vera, my aunt Lisa and someone else. We stop at a club right after the exit of a highway to meet this person who is then taking us along in its own car. João asks his mom to let him stay at the club while we go wherever we're going, but she says "no way". We tell her to let him, because he is almost a man and he needs to grow up, but we also warn him about the dangers and tell him to keep an eye, particularly on cougars who might hit on him.

With a study group at a library, one of the girls looks exactly like Emilia Clarke and I tell her that she'll be famous in the future. Everybody looks at me with strangeness and I tell them not to freak out ,but that I know stuff that will happen in the future and know that she will be the main character of a famous tv series that will be on the air for years. The girl first thinks I am insane but then starts liking the idea. But then I remember to ask her name and she is called Sofia Alves and I am like "oops". So then not to give her false expectations I tell her I am kidding and that she is actually just the doppelgänger of that actress. But now she doesn't believe me as she is totally convinced I was telling the truth at first and she doesn't want the fantasy destroyed.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting some place like an island and weird thing are going on. I am at the local library which is deserted and I am almost kidnapped by aliens there. I hide, but they kinda mock me, calling me childish to think they can't spot me. They claim they have infrared cameras. Some lady comes out of nowhere and rescues me, she is the library director or something. Takes me to a decontamination thing, saying that I contacted with the aliens, so I am now contaminated with radiation. Then we go away and look for the police.

My foot hurts, still I go on a travel to the US with friends. One is doing a documentary about the health system and goes to a private hospital to inquire about costs. I use the opportunity to show my foot, it is swollen, two small toes feel numb and the veins are red and popping. They charge 1000 dollars for just a blanket to warm me up as I wait for treatment. I am freaking out that I can't get the treatment due to costs, but I am also afraid I can't go home like this either. The doctor says that I seem to have a liver problem and I am like "what? no. I think I just broke a bone".

Again at a doctor office but for some exam in which I need to fully undress and they have no other place for me to do it but at the waiting room. I do it anyway, but then I spot some old perv filming me with his phone. I yell at him and take his phone away to delete the photos or videos he was taking. Other people are sympathetic with the old man who claims he was just messaging someone and plays the innocent victim but I do not apologize.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some kind of school I attend. Conan is one of my colleagues. I hope to get his attention but I don't succeed immediately. Everybody wants to be his friends. Then someday he notices me because I look weirder than usual. During a break, I am sorting my make up kit and he stops by and asks what I am doing. He loves my make up boxes and asks if he can try some of it. I welcome him to sit with me. We become best buddies, holding hands and sharing a secret world others don't get.
Then I need to take a subway somewhere and realize I am in London and don't know exactly where. I see another colleague from school at the train station and think about talking to him, but someone else walks towards him and they both leave. I get on the first train that comes but then I get out realizing I don't have a ticket or clue where to go. I go to a counter but the people behind it sell all sorts of things besides tickets. There is a bag on the ground to my right and I pick it up thinking it fell from somewhere and then some lady starts picking with me and shows me the receipt for that bag which she had bought.

I am part of a small group of poor kids who were selected to one of the most exclusive schools in the world, located in a palace. On the first day there is a ceremony in which we are introduced to the high society. Then we are left roaming free on the backstage and we go explore some hallways covered in red velvet or white satin and gold. I would normally find it very kitsch, but here it works and I find it absolutely gorgeous. I cry at the sight of the most beautiful library I've ever seen, with velvet curtains and red walls. I do not realize some posh people are gathered there and at least one of the ladies complains about these kids being there. But another old lady, very sweet, asks me why I am crying. I tell her I live in a wooden shed and had never seen anything this beautiful. She becomes my friend and tells me her name is Vesova.

Some nightmare with my dog Hachi.

With Riverstone again by car at night. We see a strange animal getting in front of us. A turtle with a toad head making toad noises, but the size of a pig. it is blocking our way. I then see it is not a real animal but made of clay and see that from where he came from, other animals in clay are starting to come to life and move. I tell Riverstone we should get out of there, because there is a big bull among them and I expect him to also come to life. We go up a wooden gate and we close it, but it has a hole in it and a goat comes after us and I have to climb a wall to escape its horns. Then two dogs, not aggressive but curious, also come after me and one bites me a in a butt cheek. Not to hurt but still hurts.
I find Zilla at the entrance of a house backdoor that leads to a basement. She tells us to go there but the dogs also go in. In any case, they stop biting. This basement is like a club with board games and sofas to chill. But has a strange decoration, full of nets as curtains and also giant spider webs hanging everywhere. Some joke about us being caught in the matrix. I move slowly avoiding the webs, some other girls gets her face into one. Then I see a group at some sofas around a carpet where more dogs lie at their feet. It is the Portuguese President and several sons that look like his clones at different ages. A couple of them invites me to join them and I accept and sit down. One of the dogs has an eye infection, I ask if they are treating it and the guy shrugs his shoulders saying they are going to the vet soon. I take a look and find she has a metal thing trapped inside her eye. I remove it and tell them she might be fine now, but they still need to clean her eye and if she continues sick she needs antibiotics.
Then I feel a strong gallbladder pain that throws me on the ground crying. They mock me a little, then ask if I am ok. I explain I have a large gallstone and sometimes hurts and suddenly I wake up and I realize the pain is real and coming from me sleeping in a bad position putting pressure on my GB. I turn to the other side on my bed and for a split second I see this dark figure leaning over me and I jump in my bed. It disappears and I am left doubting if I saw what I saw.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


In Iceland with Zilla at some kind of natural hostel, with indoor pools. I left a pillow fall in one of the pools, but I am so cold I end up entering the water with my clothes on.
Some people I know are there taking a swim.
At the library earlier, Zilla had two of her cats with her, a yellow boy and a fluffy girl, protecting him from a third cat, which I guess was the library mascot.
There is a kind of canteen / living room, which is a bit hard to understand how it works. People are playing games, but also picking up food from a buffet and each person seems to have tasks attributed. We are hungry but a bit lost about how it all works. They have soups, different yummi breads and stuff I cant tell if it's vegetable or animal, but I assume all is vegetarian. They speak in icelandic, sing songs and it is both silly and adorable. They only apeak english to warn the guests that outside it is a pleasant -2°C. I shriek and they laugh, because for them it is a warm summer night.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Rinpoche comes to meet me at a University library. We're supposed to do some research on some books he previously asked me to pick up. He holds my hand and kisses it. I go pick up some more books and I encounter some people, like Axman, who want to know what I am up to. I tell them I am with Rinpoche, they don't believe me. I don't care. But when I join Rinpoche at the table he is already surrounded by other students. I have to seat quietly at another table and just hand him the books. He marks down parts of texts for me. Then we all pack our bags and have to go, but I am not in a hurry, so we exchange some languish looks as we depart.
Then a colleague comes to me with a video on her smartphone that she wants me to see, about some weird animal sanctuary. Then it becomes like a live hologram in my hands and I watch a nest of hatching eggs as if they are in my hands. Rinpoche comes to me and asks what it is. Then the hologram becomes real and he tells me to eat some of those eggs. First I say I don't want to, because it is some living beings, but then I realize it is all just a dream, so no harm will be done. The creatures coming out of the eggs are viscous and slimy with tentacles. He grabs a bunch of eggs with creatures coming out and puts them in my mouth. One I swallow immediately, then he says to chew on the rest which I do, it's kinda bitter and slimy, but I don't flinch and eventually I swallow it all.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING RPG

23:50 GMT – Sleep

Lucid imagery and tasting words
The first sleep is always hard to recall but when I woke up from this I knew for sure I had been lucid. I think I fell asleep focused on the hypnagogic imagery and didn’t really enter a dream, was just staying lucid observing the sequence of images and then I tasted words. [I’ve heard of people tasting colours, but this was new for me]. Unfortunately I can only recall this but not describe the actual sensation.

2:20 GMT

Library encounter
I am at this roundabout close to my mom’s home and I discover a new library opened right there. I recall when I was in high school and spent so much good time in the municipal library and decided to go inside check the conditions and maybe start coming frequently. I check the novelties shelf in the entrance, I pick some book and sit on a couch. I notice this guy JF, whom I know from college and haven’t seen in a while (although we communicate by email), but decide not to go to him and wait to see if he sees me. He comes to say hi, we talk a bit and then he asks me if I’m staying longer, because he is leaving and could give me a ride.
I say I’m still staying as I just arrived, but then he ask if I came on foot and points out that it is starting to rain and I’m not prepared for rain. I look down and I’m wearing skirt and sabrinas and the weather is definitely becoming nastier. So I say, ok you’re right, I accept the ride.
But when I looked down I also saw I had pantyhose on one leg but not on the other and they were also quite dirty. What the hell! So as we leave the building, I first sneak behind the entry desk and try to take off the pantyhose. He comes back looking for me and finds me with skirt up, pantyhose down and trying to adjust my underwear who also got out of place with this tricky move. Embarrassing, but he just does his best to ignore and tells me I forgot money on a table in front of the couch I was sitting on. I did? So I go back and find a lot of coins on the table. Think it was not so much and shouldn’t really care about it, but he says that it doesn’t matter, it is my money, I should take it. Ok, ok. As I start putting it in my purse, the coins transformed into pieces of fruit and in the end my purse was full of fruit salad.


Hacking a building
There’s an announcement about the day with no cars (happens every year) and immediately I see the roads with no cars and a family cycling around the neighbourhood. They go up a ramp and I follow them – until now I was just watching but now I materialize. On top of this ramp is actually a dead end so I wonder where they disappeared into. When I turn back, this is no longer a street but actually a closed precinct, like the backrooms of some public or governmental facility. Then I find myself with 2 other friends and we make a challenge to each other – break in, do the tour of the building and leave without a trace. There are vigilance cameras everywhere, so it won’t be easy. As soon as I leave this room, the hallway has a camera and I know it is just a matter of time until a guard appears. I just have enough time to break in the door at the end of the hallway, my friends follow me and we close and block the door when the guard is about to catch us. Now we face a new challenge as this room has no other exit. We decide to go through a vent and get out on the control room, where the guards should be, but since they are still trying to break in the first room we blocked, now we can hack their computers and tapes and delete all recordings about our little adventure. As my two others friends are deleting the files, my attention goes to a corner where there is a basket full of teddy bears. I wonder what they are doing there and can’t resist to go through them, looking for one that is cuter and eventually take it with me, but in the end, they are all cute but none really stands out so I leave them, wondering why guards need teddy bears.
The door of this control room is locked electronically – so nobody enters or exits, while the guards are out – but my friends broke in the code and tell me a sequence we’ll need to insert on this door and a next door we will find. But hey, I’m distracted with toys, so I don’t recall the numbers. Fortunately my friends are better concentrated and remember it for me. When we unlock all the doors, we find ourselves moving to an entrance lobby with visitors and a kid notices we’re coming out of a restricted access area and asks us if we should be there. I smile at her and tell her no, that we’re hackers but we didn’t do any harm, we were just having a bit of fun and ask her to keep a secret.


Buddha Neo
Someone tells me “Did you know there’s a secret short movie that is a crossover of Little Buddha and Matrix?” No, I don’t know about that!!! So then I’m showed this amazing film with Keanu Reeves playing Neo (of course) and then he finds the truth inside the truth and becomes the Buddha (he also played Little Buddha) and the Buddha hacks the Matrix and kicks some asses, but also sits to meditate as Neo. Weird stuff but awesomely cool. I would love to see that movie!


4:45 GMT

A very quiet friend
I am at a lobby of some building with my dad, close to a desk. We’re waiting for someone or something, but it’s totally deserted. He makes some remarks how he feels uncomfortable with these places, especially when some weird people comes by – better beware of your purse - like... for example this guy that is coming in now! I wonder why he says that, it’s just my good friend H.L. from Estonia, whom I don’t see for a few years. I don’t mention this to him and simply go to my friend, also to scare my dad a little. He recognizes me and smiles but when I hug him he is distant and not really replying the hug. Then a blond girl with a kid appears and I wonder if they are together. Ok, but that’s no reason to be cold towards a friend. The girl finds this corner for kids, with a little castle for kids to play inside, and she leaves the kid there. I try to break the ice by saying how I would have loved to have one of those when I was a kid, but all I had was chairs, blankets and a lot of imagination. But she also doesn’t reply.


Sharing memories from Brussels
I’m in the middle of the street opening a letter that just arrived in my mailbox and I’m surprised to see it’s a renewal card for going to the cinema with discount, in Brussels! I don’t live in Brussels for more than 3 years and I also wonder how they got my new address.
Coincidentally, I see this lady which I know from tv, she is an actress and I know she lived in Brussels to and misses it a lot. So I start talking to her showing her the card and asking if she knows what’s about. She was totally surprised and didn’t first understand what I wanted. But as she looks closer to the card, she knows what I mean and makes a big smile. I tell her I also lived in Brussels and we start walking together exchanging stories about this city. It’s so rare to find someone who lived there and actually loved it, everybody always complains about the weather. As we walk we pass by this abandoned lot and I notice a lot of garbage, a few vegetable gardens and 2 dogs who soon start fighting. When I look again to my way, we encounter a friend of hers who’s waiting her with a car, we say goodbye and she leaves.


Buying groceries
I’m shopping on this little town grocery shop some food for me and taking to some group I’m hosting. I buy some tomatoes, eggs and I see these amazing carrots that are labelled organic but cost only 90 cts/kg. I find too cheap and ask the grocer if these are locally produced, by some villager or so. He confirms and goes about saying how amazing these carrots are, delicious and that he misses when all vegetables were so tasty and not these plastic chemical-filled things we eat nowadays. He starts talking about the wonders of organic farming and I smile. I want to tell him he his preaching to a converted, but he is now turning to some other clients, some villagers who are asking something about his ham. The grocer goes to the backroom and comes back with a piece of ham. He cuts bits for others to taste. But first he tastes it itself in a very ritualised manner and I realise the guy is a gourmet an totally obsessed about quality food. Before he also offers me some ham and then I have to explain why I’m vegetarian I turn away and pretend to shop some more stuff.


7:10 GMT – Wake up