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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 22 Oct: Meeting Nighthawk at a party and we get down to business

      by , 10-22-2022 at 08:13 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Meeting Nighthawk at some party at a friends' place. We end up alone in a room and when I am sure no one is coming and the ice isn't breaking, I approach him and decidedly show him my desire to kiss him. He resists, saying he can't or mustn't, but I insist. He clearly wants it to, but he claims that if he caves in, his desire will become violent and uncontrollable and it won't be possible to turn around. I say I don't care, so we start kissing and unzipping our pants and we... fuck. It is very detailed and graphic, like at some point we talk about how deep he is in and I say he could be more. So, NSFW content... Then some nosy kid enters the room accidentally and sees us. We ask him not to say a word to anyone and he swears he won't, but we know he is going right away to tell everyone and soon a bunch of people will barge in this room, so we quickly zip our pants back and we run out of the room to avoid that embarassment.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. 25 Aug: Helping a victim of revenge porn and attending a school reunion

      by , 08-25-2022 at 08:46 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      A family friend comes ask for help. Their kid is being victim of revenge porn: some guys took got of her topless and there is a video and her data posted on a porn website. I take the case to a friend who is both a detective and a hacker and he assures me he can take it down. I am relieved because I wasn't sure if it was possible. I tell the good news to the family and they are overjoyed. They offer us a place to stay while my friend sorts this out. In the process, we find other women in the same situation and we help them.

      There is gonna be a school reunion party and I am at the venue to help out with the preparations a few days in advance. I find a vending machine that is broken and giving 10x more money than what we put in. I start mining it and others who find out feel it's disonest and judge me, but I don't care. At the day of the party I get all dressed up, very sexy with a very tight tube dress, one shoulder off, my long hair flowing. I prepared some treats at home with the help of my mom and as I walk to the place, carrying the treats, I start stumbling upon school colleagues who bullied or despised me. I see some jaws dropping when they recognize me, the guys are elbow bumping each other. I put the treats I brought on a table and I go meet some ladies I know. They are preparing to take a group photo. I wonder how long it will take. Someone says today is the day my crush will ask me to dance, but guys don't seem to be interested in dancing at all and I honestly just want to use the vending machine as I came prepared with a purse full of coins!
    3. 20 May: Criogenized and wake up in the future

      by , 05-20-2022 at 10:03 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I think I am watching a movie but I feel it is real. There is Paul Rudd, but very muscular. He is dying of cancer and decides to be criogenized and be woken up in the future, hoping to be healed. For some reason I join him in doing so. But the future in which we wake up is so weird. There is high tech stuff, but socially it regressed quite a lot. It is ruled by petty people and controlled by mafia gangs. I am put in a building about 20 storeys high with no elevator, shared bathrooms at each floor and tiny apartments less than 50 m2. And for some reason, some mafia guys want to kidnap me. One day I am afraid to go to my apartment as I have reasons to believe they might be waiting there for me. But I need to pee, so I enter the building and go the floor below mine and use their toilet. Some nice people from one of the apartments are having a get together with friends and they invite me in.
      And there were a lot more details but I forgot.
    4. 15 Apr: My boss is a deluded creep and bomb explodes at dog shelter

      by , 04-15-2022 at 10:26 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some party with coworkers and their kids (I think). My boss, who is some random dude in his 30s, good looking but not my type, starts seducing me. I don't show interest, but I try not to antagonize him too much, afraid of his reaction. At some point I fall asleep in a couch and I wake up with him leaning over me, shirtless and I am afraid of what may have happened. I am fully clothed and there are still other people in the next room with the kids making noise, so I guess not much happened, but I don't know. Back to the other room, one of the persons is actually his wife and she is giving me a side look. I decide to leave as I feel uncomfortable. But I can't find my bag. I start looking for it and the kids basically mixed everyone's phones and other personal belongings and spread them on a couch. I find my phone but I still want the rest of my bag. Instead I find a plastic bag with my stuff in it. I am upset and say that the kids stole my bag. Their parents feel offended and don't like my accusation. They tell me I should just take the plastic bag because it's the contents that count, not the bag. I am pissed at all of them, but I accept and leave.
      Some days later, at work, I have a meeting with my boss and Zilla, who also works with me. Our boss was recently promoted and I am actually happy it was him and not me, because I didn't want that level of responsibility. I feel less stressed and feel this could work well. Then he makes a stupid proposal that he wants to change everybody's schedule and make us all have two hours lunch breaks and leave later, because I need that time at lunch break to dedicate myself to some artistic project I am working on and which he wishes to support. I panic and say "Please don't! People want to leave early, they have families". Zilla is clearly very upset with the idea. Then the idiot says he doesn't care, he is full on in our relationship and wants the others to know about it and his support to me. And I am like "WTF are you talking about? We have no relationship!!!" And I am freaking out, because everyone will hate me and believe we are lovers instead that he is delusional..

      I go on a desert trip with friends: three ladies and a guy. We stop our jeep at some dunes to take some pics. The ladies have their hair wrapped up in shawls.

      I convince mom to go with me to a local shelter, which also works as a dog hotel, to get our dog Lady who is there for some reason. Mom doesn't want to go, she is afraid to fall in love for some other dog at the shelter, but i explain we will only go to the reception and get Lady and she won't see any other animals. We get Lady but they want mom to register as a client (dog is hers, but I registered as the client). They ask her lots of stupid questions and even subject her to some sort of skills test. She draws an amazing picture, then they want to analize its meaning. I'm like "WTF?" but she is sort of enjoying it. Then we hear a large plane flying over us, someone shouting at us and the sound of what seems like a bomb dropping, so we duck under the desk. Then something heavy breaks the ceiling and falls close to my feet. It's a bomb and is about to explode. I know there is nothing we can do and we're about to die. I wake up in panic.
    5. 10 Feb: Nudism, falling into void lucid, party and funeral

      by , 02-10-2022 at 10:02 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At home with Riverstone, someone else and my dog Hachi. Strangely there is a balcony or deck over a cliff and we are chilling on lounge chairs. It reminds me of when I lounged in my parents balcony before they closed it. But this one is dangerous as there are no guard railings. I don't feel afraid, I am actually feeling totally happy as I never felt. I am even doing nudism and feeling comfortable in my naked body in the wind like I never felt before.


      I am walking down a corridor and it gets very dark, I feel like I am dropping out of the dream and I become lucid. I don't try to fight it, so I just free fall in the dark void with no expectation of what comes next. I just try to see the void as the nature of my mind and not be afraid of the referencelessness. I stop falling for some seconds and then I fall again, but I never try to control the outcome. Then finally it stops and I am in some dark room.

      At some party in a garden with a view over a city. I spot some bush with berries and I grab some to eat, but then find huge catterpillars in a gelatinous cocoon on the plant and it looks both awesome and disgusting. I show it to my mom. Then feel an itch in my hand and notice a big alergic reaction for having touched the berries and the slime of the cayterpillars. I rush to wash my hands.

      My mom is running a bakery but when I visit it, she is not there and I find strange that she left everything unfinished or out of place, like a cake half eaten on a table. I eat it, But she comes back soon and says one of her friends needs a ride somewhere and asks me if I can do it. It is inconvenient, but I offer to do it. He is going to a funeral. My dad offers to comes with me. Turns out that side by side with this funeral is also going on a funeral for my friend Nelson and I am shocked to find out this way that he died. For saving costs and the environment, the bodies are rapidly decomposed via a chemical process and in the end all that is left is a little biodegradable container with some liquid. Because both deceased expressed not wanting it to go anywhere, they just dispose of them both into some trash container and I am a bit upset. I wanted to pay homage to my friend some other way.
    6. 6 Jan: Action movie turns violent porn and returning my neighbor's cat

      by , 01-06-2022 at 08:11 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am watching a Steven Seagal action movie with Riverstone and it has sex scenes that are basically porn and I feel a bit uncomfortable. The porn turns violent, which makes it worse. When a villain is caught, he is threathened with revenge sodomy and then some lady has a ganga bang on a pool and she is turned upside down on the water and is unable to breathe. The movie is also quite immersive and at some point I am actually in it. I am some business man that is the main target of some terrorists/ gang. They attack me in the lobby of a building and I run for dear life to an elevator and almost get killed by a rain of fire. But I manage to slam myself against the wall on the right side of the doors and just get a few non-lethal shots while the door closes in.
      I am not enjoying this dream at all, so I suddenly change scenario. I get out of the elevator as myself and the building outside is some kind of pavillion under preparation or renovation for some event. There are ladders and plastics all over. I spot Jaime sitting on a ladder. I come to him and say "Hi, I know you." He seems puzzled, like he sort of recognizes me, but can't really remember from where and when. I tell him my name and he gives me a big smile. Says that I look a bit different and he wouldn't recognize me if I didn't identify, but of course he remembers me. He says he missed me so much when we went to different schools and lost each other contact. Says he loved me and it was really tough for him. I am happy that he says it and I confess it was mutual. He comes down the ladder and invites me for a walk. There is some market outside the pavillion. We talk about this and that, we are so happy to be together again. Then we stop at some lady selling homemade belgian waffle cookies. They look yummy, but are 1,5€ each and I tell her it is too expensive. I understand anything homemade and artisanal is more expensive, but think that is excessive. But Jaime buys 2 cookies and I guess one is for me.

      At home, in Alhandra. I'm in my old childhood bedroom, with my present day cats. There is another cat on the balcony of the room next door and it is peaking through my window, barely stable on its ledge. I recognize it as my neighbor Carla's cat (although she never had one in RL). A chubby turtle cat with a mutation that gave her four ears. I wanna be sure she is safe and wanna show Riverstone the mutation, so I open the window and allow her to come in. She is friendly but not a big fan of being held. So I let her walk around and my 3 cats seem to be ok with her. But soon after Buddha goes nuts and mounts her, despite him being neutered. I think she must have really strong pheromones. Luckily he can't really do anything but he is annoying her a lot. So she finally let's me pick her up and I go to the kitchen with her in my arms to show her to Riverstone. I then decide to take her back to Carla. My father joins in, saying he also has stuff to take to her. I notice he his just wearing a shirt and underwear and I insist he should get some pants, but he refuses. He has a bag with a small vase with a plant and a couple of herb stacks. He comes with me down the building staircases, but then wonders "Shouldn't you put on some shoes instead of coming with your slippers?" and I say she lives just a couple floors below, why would I bother? And he replies "But didn't she move to the single house of her grandmother down the street?" And I remember she indeed moved to her grandma's house. But then I also wonder if he knows that, why would he go on the street with no pants on? Anyway, we reach the second floor and the apartment on the right side of the hallway has the door open and I hear her voice inside. I don't question anymore where she lives. We go inside and she is having a party with friends. I think it's her birthday. She is surprised that I have her cat and then looks a bit uncomfortable with my dad and his gifts. I look at the supposed herb stacks he brought to her and I see only grasses and yellow oxalis with no nutritional or medicinal value and I wonder what's his thinking.
    7. 26 Sep: Party at art gallery and exploring the nature of the mind lucid

      by , 09-26-2021 at 11:08 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some party, like at an art gallery, and there is Riverstone and a bunch of other people. They are serving lots of desserts in long tables in different rooms and I am planning to indulge in as many as I can. But as I grab a plate and go back to get some of what I have seen, I find them mostly gone and manage to grab only 3 tiny cake slices before finding that the buffet is over and immediately removed and all the tables are now exhibiting jewellery and other art pieces. I feel frustrated but they say they announced the time limit ahead and have a very strict policy about it.
      Then I sit down and realize there is some sort of lecture going on the next room, but then it is no longer at this gallery but at my grandparent's old house and it is a meeting of some Jeovah's witnesses with my grandpa in his kitchen. I am sitting there and continuing to eat my cake slices and I see their judgemental looks over my glutony. When they get up to leave I walk them to the door and outside the hallway looks like a school hallway and not my granparent's building. I go explore and feel a mix of joy and freedom as I feel transported to my highschool years. I go around dancing and levitating and my dance becomes a bit more sexy and dirty and I think I even pole dance a little when I find some random pole in the hallways. As I encounter some prude teachers who start judging me, at some point I go blatanly sexual and expose my private parts. They go away in shock.
      Further ahead I spot a teacher of mine telling another student some story about me. So apparently some teacher had asked another one about the students in our class, and the second one mentioned I was a total devil. But when she arrived to the classroom she was so surprised to see that I was this quiet little angel instead and they are discussing how I could hide it so well or something. I want to know more about it, so I come to them and ask what else happens in the story. They get spooked and say that is none of my business and leave.

      Tired of all these people I start becoming aware of the dream and levitating high up in the air. From above I see hundreds of people coming and going, entering and leaving buildings, like little ants. Then realize I am also a little ant just like them. I think about what to do in this lucid dream, but have no idea, so I decide I"ll just watch whatever happens. Then I start spotting fleeting rainbows in the sky, reflected on windows, basically everywhere. and I think about how they are a metaphor for the nature of the mind. So I start trying to catch them. I spot a rainbow shining against a wall and I am close enough to touch it. It turns into a pattern of our brains white matter. As I focus on it, everything around starts turning blue, like I am inside a tub of dark blue jello. I think this might be another level of insight into the nature of the mind and I want to find answers. I start to see some letters and numbers forming and make an effort to decode it, but the thick jello makes it hard to read it clearly. In the ned it seems just like I am looking at some comemorative metal plaque on a wall and seems to mention the European Union or something and I feel really disappointed. Try again, same thing. So I get bored and try to get out of this blue stuff and get back into a normal world with people. I walk among them and decide to make another experiment. I want to go through them instead of treatint them like real people and see what happens. The first ones it feels weird, like I just actually push them to the sides and not really go through them. So they get mad at me and try to grab me, but it is like I have a force field around me and they can't touch me. I keep bulldozing through the crowd at ease. And then some start treating me like a goddess with super powers and start following me around. The group of annoying followers is growing and they are too clingy, so I find jewels on the ground and offer to them to distract them. It works. Then someone says I am getting phone calls on my cell phone and I break lucidity while trying to figure out where my cell phone is and who might be calling.
    8. 29 Aug: Dragged down by a flashflood, part of a gang of poor kids in the 1900s

      by , 08-29-2021 at 10:13 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some huge event. Among the guests there is even a prince with his fiancé and everyone is clapping for them when they arrive. I watch it all from a very detached perspective, feeling very sad. Then recall it's because my own fiancé is away, he is always away and my heart aches for missing him. Then a couple body guards rush to me and take me up a staircase saying we have to evacuate and I ask why and they don't say, but soon after we are hit by a torrent of water and dragged down. We struggle to hold on to each other. I hold hands with one of the guards and there is another one a bit more distant who also grabbed a couple more people. I try grabbing them and make a chain, trying to keep us all together. I feel we might drown, the current is so strong, that my thoughts race through my mind. I remember clearly I don't actually love this rich fiancé I don't even know, but someone else. I get semi lucid and recognize this isn't my real life. The water finally starts subsiding after it dragged us downhill for quite a while and we reached the river Tagus. In the aftermath of this flashflood, I realize we are in Lisbon. We don't know the origin of this flash flood because it hand't rained, but I fear another torrent might come at any moment and tell the people around we should go back to higher ground. But they are all against it and wish to remain by the river.

      I am then in the 1900s, I am a very poor girl with very poor friends in a village. We hang out and we steal or whatever necessary to survive another day. We know of a guy who hides something valuable, like a drug he trades, inside a closet hanging inside a coat on a hanger and not in the safety of his home, but at some public place like a club he attends. So we sneak in and steal it.Then it is lunch time and we are about to heat up some food to eat. We just gather some dry leaves and twigs and start a small fire in the middle of a quiet street in a poor neighborhood, where that's normal and other people do as well. We share a meal and say jokes. I am hald lucid and know this is a dream, so I feel like we aren't actually any different from us in 2020, we just have different jobs and different tech, but the rest feels very much the same. We meet a well-off couple from the big city, they do something in the "medicinal" area and they come to buy our drugs, but they like very much the looks of one of my friends. He is pretty good looking with blonde air and a manly face. They offer him a job as some kind of PR or salesman. They think he will be an asset to them because of his looks, after they train him and clothe him. We are very happy for him and he promises to help us out and maybe bring us to the big city with him when he is settled and affords to rent a house.
    9. 4 Jun: Surreal sucession of events with killer and man-eating robots

      by , 06-04-2021 at 09:03 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Meet a man who claims he got a visit from an alien who kidnapped his dog. Me and my mom and some others come visit him at his place, and he shows us how obsessive he is now locking everything and bringing his other dog and his cats inside. His dog is a poodle and he keeps him tied with a rope, long enough for him to move freely around the living room. He explains the alien was a Vulcan and I visualize Spock claiming he too the dog away for his own benefit.
      The guy turns into my mom's neighbor, Marco, and he and mom go to the kitchen prepare food. I am in pajama for some reason and I ask to use the toilet to change. Then his house is a hangar.
      When we gather around a large table to eat, we wear some yelling outside. We check and there are robots outside, one the depressed robot played by Alan Rickman on the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, another one is a bit more aggressive and eats humans and he is demanding a sacrifice. One guy offers to go while the others just shrug. I am shocked and I want to stop it. I go outside and try some distraction. Not sure what, but works and they go away.
      Back in the hangar we party, we have a ball. I dance with a girl. I see there's 2 guys also dancing with each other and I suggests we change pairs, but they seem ok together and my pair also seems to prefer dancing with me. Turns out she is gay, and she tells me about her wife. I feel chemistry between us and I wonder how she feels about cheating on her wife, even if just mentally. Then there is a play and some dude on a stage is acting a monologue. I find him boring, so I leave for a walk with a few others and we end up on a pool in a park. Only I swim. Another girl is offering some candies to people but not to me and my friend, so we snatch the bowl from her and get a handful of candies to ourselves. My friend feels bad about it but I don't, I feel like she owes me something. The candy girl then wants me to buy a special brand of coffee she sells, but I say I don't have money to spend on it and that I also have a neighbor who sells it too and would prefer buying from her.
      After we end up at a retro hotel and I start seeing what happens there from the perspective of just a viewer. Some beautiful lady with her entourage is checking in, one of her aides is a deformed woman with a creepy robot doll that talks. There are some famous actors like Tom Hanks as guests and the story turns into a musical with silly dances. Later on there is a dinner at an aquatic room. All the VIP guests wear a jelly mask around their nose and mouth, that allows breathing and talking. I don't know how they'll eat. The room is gorgeous like an underwater cave with seaweeds dancing, fish swimming. Then the person at the head of the table complains he doesn't want to share dinner with a killer who is in the room. Turns out the doll is under investigation for murder. Then I recall this story being from some novel and there being a vintage movie adaptation and I relive it all over again, but in the vintage version. In it the hotel is the same but the decor is slightly more simple. The foyer walls are painted in indigo blue, the deformed lady is not so deformed but has 3 pyramid shaped horns coming from her cheeks and forehead and the robot-doll is played by a real chubby girl with prosthetics. The aquatic room is very similar though.
    10. 25 Mar: Escher's stairway in a museum and police strippers at party

      by , 03-25-2021 at 11:39 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With my dad. my uncle Fernando and my cousin Rui, visiting the house-museum of the famous saint-doctor from my hometown. Someone mentions that a guy claims this is his house and he demands to live here, so he actually moved in one day and started collecting the entrance money from visitors, but apparently he was arrested.
      I notice something strange about the staircase, my uncle and cousin go up but they end up coming down and when me and dad try to go down, we end up going up, like Escher's stairways. We are trying to reach the second floor and after some struggle, we do. Once there, there is a DJ playing music and some party going on, probably illegal. Soon after, a couple policemen barge in and I think "I was right", but one of them starts stripping and goes full frontal, while the other actually seems to be arresting people. So it's confusing, but I stop trying to figure it out, as the naked guy is such a hunk with a big dick and I decide enjoying the view.
    11. 7 Jul: Sangha party and having an affair

      by , 07-07-2020 at 09:15 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Semi-lucid jumps through different times and places. E.g. Watching some japanese kids graduation ceremony in a school.
      Then staying a while at a really nice place where people from my sangha are settling. There are two locations with bungalows in green hills. I am staying in one, but taking a bus to the other, out of curiosity. In there people are gathering in the garden and enjoying a spontaneous party. It gets late for me to go back to my location, so I kinda stay there, but no place to sleep.


      I reencounter Evangelion, he is married now, but we kiss and without much talking we plan to see each other secretly. To avoid text messages and phone calls, he subscribed to a local paper I just had with me and we post ads with appointments to meet that only we can understand. The location is a kind of a motel in a train station. We meet there. We don't talk much. We start getting comfortable, I prepare to take a shower, but he challenges me to talk for a bit. So we lay down in bed and talk. He asks me if I have any big regret. I think hard and first say no, but then start telling him the story about Wolfboy and how we were in love and he proposed to me. Someone knocks on the door. I go check and see a woman looking angry. It's not his wife, so I open, but in an angle she can't see Evangelion anyway. She asks if I am alone, I say yes, she calls me a liar, says she heard two voices talking and one was a man. I say go away and shut the door to her face. But there is another door on the back and someone knocks there too. I tell Evangelion to hide as I send her away but she just barges in with another woman, they see him crawling away but don't see who he is. Anyway they don't know any of us. They just start preaching that they are some kind of women's league for the protection of marriages and they disrupt lovers meeting.
    12. 5 Dec: Running away from the start of a zombie attack

      by , 12-05-2019 at 09:23 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some office or school building. It is quite empty. There is only a couple of persons with me and walking around. But we hear scary sounds and a couple zombies come through the door. We fight them with whatever we have. I pick a sturdy ceramic cup to smash their heads, but unlike movies, their skulls are thick. I hit them several times and they almost don't flinch. I am even feeling sorry for hurting them. But we escape to outside where we find hungry dogs also posing a threat, but we go up and down some stairs after throwing some food at them and we run to a residencial area. In the residences there are lots of people and life runs as normal. Someone is throwing a party with loud music as night approaches and neighbors are at the windows talking at each other about doing something to shut it down. I am staying at a house with my parents or at least they had some involvement in setting it up for me. My dad was just there to show some wall he built in the back of the house for extra protection, which comes in handy. But I still plan to look for some safer place. I grab as much food as I can and pack bags and go to a train station or airport. They don't want to allow me to take all my food with me and I complain, but as long as I can embark I am ok. I just want to leave.

      Updated 07-29-2021 at 09:31 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. 18 Nov: Diverse dreams and lucid at a party full of white lotuses

      by , 11-18-2019 at 08:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

      Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

      At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.


      Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.


      With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

      I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.
    14. 3 Aug: Confronting some mafia guys, people from the past, yelling at former boss

      by , 08-03-2019 at 09:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      With a group of friends heading to the door of some mafia dude to ask something. We get there and he is throwing a family party for his daughter who is having a birthday or going to marry. Hard to say. They have a skating ring in the house, invite us to skate and I feel like it, but the others point out that we are there for serious business. I thought they were Russian or Armenian, but then they all start dancing merengue and salsa and I think again that they must be South American. We leave empty handed.

      I am walking with a group of people. Feels like the kids from my extra curricular activities when I was also a kid, but I am an adult. Then I leave them and go alone across VFX. Come across a guy who recognizes me. His face isn't strange to me either, I think he went to primary school with me. I ask hiss name and it is something like Leonildo.

      A company of stone pavement is going bankrupt. I have worked there and go there just to get something back. Cross path with the manager saying it is our fault? I make a scandal and question him "Us, who? I think you mean the admins in suit who run this shit, not the workers!" He admits it. He leaves frustrated.
    15. 25 Apr: Party in an old city and doing oral sex to myself while lucid (graphic)

      by , 04-25-2019 at 09:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Going through a beautiful old city. I find it similar to some place I've been before (not actually, but that was the feeling in the dream). I find a little shrine on the wall of an ancient building, I notice it is damaged compared to when I last saw it. Seems to have had some water infiltration and erosion. Then I notice some strange objects semi-buried in the wall. I check and find a kind of stone with different semi-precious gemstones in it. Old ladies pass by and look at me with disapproval, but I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong.
      Then I go down a street where these old ladies live in and one of their neighbors is throwing away a few decorative items from her house, that are actually antiques with some value and I ask if I can keep them. She's ok with that. I wonder if I can fit all that in my luggage when I travel back home, but I take a chance.
      On my way to the place I am staying, I come across a big parade party of young people, some of which I know, all heading towards same place I am going. I join the party, I drink a bit, but draw the line when they start dancing a silly choreography from some current hit song I never heard of and hope never to.
      We pass by a truck where a dude is sleeping on top of the truck, sunbathing practically naked. It is Avelar. I pretend I don't see him, although I am happy to see him. I have the strange feeling he is there because of me. When the party is coming to an end, at early dawn, I pretend to be falling asleep sitting against a wall, where others are also taking a rest. Then some friends come pick me up to take me to wherever we are staying. Avelar has surely seen me by now but neither him nor I acknowledge each others presence.
      On our way, we stop by a grocery store, but it is in such a bad neighborhood that they have the most unwelcoming entrance. We have to crawl under a slight opening of a sliding door, then climb a balcony and land in the middle of the workstation of 3 ladies that work there. Then they open a door with a grid, that allows us in to buy groceries. I comment how old people from the neighborhood can't possibly buy food there.


      Some walks up and down the city, semi-lucid, enjoying the architectural details and enjoying a slide down a hill to a coastal area, while listening and singing a Portishead music. Then arrive home, which has some similarities to my childhood's house but totally different place and disposition. My dad is there. He is being unpleasant about something, trying to control my life as usual. So I go to my room. I can still hear him and know that he is coming in, so I decide to go out the window. But we are on a precipice kilometers high above the ocean.
      I recall that I am dreaming and I can just jump and fly, so I do that, but all my father sees is me jumping and he runs to the window in distress thinking I killed myself. I feel compassion for my dream dad and I go back to tell him "look, I know you think very little of me, but I am fine. You see, we're dreaming and I have all sorts of powers that I use at will. I am fine, I don't need your help." He has no reply and slowly fades away.
      I fly away, enjoy it for a while, then land back home, but now alone and think what to do next. I sink my hands on a wall to reinforce lucidity and decide for the first time to also eat the wall and taste it. Zero taste.
      Then decide to try something I have been wanting to try for some time. Oral sex on myself. I contort myself in impossible ways and yes I do it. It is very weird because I am still watching from my head in its normal position as another head with my face comes up from between my legs and does it. I feel simultaneously the me doing the oral sex and the me receiving the oral sex. More than the physical sensation, it's the feeling of being two and being one at the same time that I feel more interesting in this experiment. Not something I can explain, you really need to experience yourself.

      Updated 04-30-2019 at 09:41 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
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