rshort1202

I’m driving home, I think from downtown, though it mostly looks unfamiliar. I’m at a Y type intersection, waiting to turn to the left. I pull out slightly, waiting for the cars coming from the other fork. The light turns yellow while I’m still waiting and red as I finally make it through. I’m not trying to pick out a Furthur show on my phone; I think I have a lot of time, so I’m looking for a long one. I find one with a long timestamp, but clicking into it it looks more like studio material. Now, I’m parking at a 45 degree angle on some dirt shoulder. A cop car parks right next to me, which is weird with all the space around. The cop then gets out and sits in my passenger seat. She’s taken off her uniform (there are street clothes under - I think leggings and a pink tank top) and stuffed it to the right side of her. She says something like ‘you look flushed, so I’m just waiting [to get me for something].’ I take a quick video of her from head to toe. She is a large female with an intense, childish face. I sit in complete silence.

I’m walking Stella somewhere outside, a fairly wide dirt path, when I pass an older man with his dog, what looks like a retriever. Stella does well with being able to pass the dog without meeting it. There is a culvert off to the side, maybe 8+ feet long. It’s almost filled completely with running water and Stella decides to get into it. In an instant, she’s completely submerged and I can only feel by the pull of the long leash how far into it she is. I initially remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to hold onto the leash until I can just run and grab her on the other side. This then does not feel possible, so I call for help from Dad who is now here. Stella is somehow still being swept down this stream that only seems a few inches deep. It is rocky as well and feels like it’s underground, as I run to catch up with her. With all of my might, I eventually do.



I’m going into a Dead and Company concert with Melissa. The indoor venue seems like something comparable in size to the Reno Events Center. There’s a simple white folding table in the foyer and some hassle with the middle aged white man in getting our tickets. I succeed in getting them and we go in. It’s close to empty, so we hurry toward the front. There’s no GA, only seats. When I ask, Melissa says she doesn’t care where we sit, which kind of irritates me. At first we go up too high, so we try lower. There are now some people here and we have to squeeze by them in their seats. The band is on the stage now, all unfamiliar except for Bob Weir, the rest seeming much younger. I notice the drummer playing but don’t hear any music. Bob is wearing a black cloth face mask which he removes and gives to one of the younger band members to wear. This makes no sense to me but I try to let it go.

I’m at a concert venue. It is full of people but I don’t think I currently hear any music. I seem to be off to the side of the stage in what feels like a dugout. The crowd starts a circle pit with the inner group moving in one direction and the outer group in the other. At this point, I know it’s a Grateful Dead concert, so this feels very out of place. I see the rest of the crowd sitting on the grass facing the stage and I end up over there. It’s a sea of faded tie dye and friendly faces. I end up next to a girl near my age with two others. We start talking and I mention that it’s my first show. She gleefully exclaims this to those around. In my mind, the year is 1981 and the show is more than halfway over (though it’s fully light out). Thinking of songs I’d like to hear, Morning Dew and Black Muddy River come to mind.
*A movie came on at Blind Dog last night and my guess was that it was filmed around ‘81 due to the hair and clothes styles.



I’m at an empty park with a large play structure. Mark approaches, so I say something like ‘You have something in, I take it.’ He says yes as I walk up to a section of the equipment to grab it for him (I don’t notice anywhere with books or even a shelf). Now we are in what looks like an almost empty living room. Zoe and Nicola are here, each at a computer. Mark is going to order some more; I pull up Amazon on a computer as he sits behind me. The first one comes out to more than $40, to which he gruffly says no. He seems a little less friendly than usual and is wearing darker clothes and a ballcap. I notice and get frustrated with how dim it is in here, so I go to open these blinds just like the ones in our apartment. I twist the rod and every blind looks like it’s starting to split.

I’m at work, though it also seems like I’m at home (the setting is definitely the conference room at work, but it feels like I was just home or the rest of the space is the house, Dad’s house more specifically). Sitting in front of the computer but behind a baker’s rack, as it’s still cluttered in here, I pull up a Grateful Dead concert clip on Youtube. It’s something like ‘longest/best Dark Star’, with a timestamp of 20 minutes and some odd seconds. The scene is dark but I can tell from how the band members look that it’s sometime in the 80s. I feel like it’s going to be good. Now, I am inside the scene, onstage with the band. Phil and then Jerry are in my line of sight to the left. I watch them play and watch Phil play a huge and heavy note with a grin. There is communication, verbal or otherwise, about how he plays the bass like a guitar. I’m also playing a bass or guitar, briefly cognizant of how it’s probably unnecessary. I look to Jerry to get his attention and mouth ‘dew’ when he looks, conveying my intent to segue into Morning Dew. He lights up slightly, so I think it’s well received. I get chills thinking about it.

I am either at a concert or watching a recording of one. I seem to be extremely close to the small stage, with a point of view a bit taller than I really am. I think it’s the Jerry Garcia Band playing, though I can only see Jerry on the dim stage. He looks like an early 70s Jerry right now and in the next moment he looks like a 90s Jerry. This makes me wonder if this is a recording or some kind of psychedelic experience (i.e. me just hallucinating his earlier appearance). He sings and fumbles with some lyrics but returns to the right words with a grin. He’s now singing Friend of the Devil and does the same thing. Someone in the crowd starts singing the wrong verse - Jerry confidently sings the correct one and then says “nice try.”



I am in an airport or other large, public place. I need to find a bathroom and end up walking into one (there are no walls or signs or anything). This space is slightly raised and features a dozen or more circular booth tables. Walking closer, I see that they are not tables but an almost full circle or urinals. There are so many of them and it’s so empty in here that it's almost both peaceful and overwhelming. I pick one that seems to be slightly off to the side in case someone else shows up.



I am getting on a bus. The driver, a lady with a perfectly relaxed and peaceful energy, stops me on the way in to give me what looks like a stamp or a blotter. She has a small stack of them and picks one out for me. It features a tiny psychedelic design, what looks like space or just a stellar design. This bus is smaller and has been converted. Melissa is with me and we sit on its floor, against some pillows. The energy here is also incredibly peaceful and relaxed.

I am walking from somewhere to somewhere else to use the bathroom. I think I come from a school and it looks like I’m heading to a construction site/new apartments or other buildings. It crosses my mind that I’ve actually passed a bathroom, but I continue on anyway. This area looks like it’s near the marina. I’m on the side of an uncrowded highway. I walk through a red light and it doesn’t cause any problems but still I feel a little guilty. I have my blue headphones on, listening to some music. I’m also walking at a good pace, and it feels like. I round a corner and start stepping high, flexing my eyes at each rise. I now notice that I can get multiple flexes in each step. Pretty soon I am completely off the ground at each step for a time longer than possible. I enjoy the sensation and continue it and soon I am levitating up into the air. I rise to 50+ feet and then the thought crosses my mind that this would only be possible in a dream. My mind writes off this happening with some explanation.

*Though it sounds like it, I never actually realize this is a dream in the dream. I also wake up right after.

Something about a Dead and Company convert. I am looking at the setlist, that has not yet been performed, as if I have the ability to revise it. The encore is One More Saturday Night and even though it is a Saturday I want to change it to Black Muddy River. There’s also a section mid second set that I want to be Help on the Way and Slipknot into The Eleven. I write this down as HOTW>Slipknot>11.

I am sitting in bed and I think about to type dreams or do something else on my phone when Mom comes in and lies perpendicularly up on the bed with her head in her hand. I’m playing music on my speaker, what sounds like the type of deathcore I listened to in high school. Mom pauses and kind of looks like she’s thinking, then let’s out an “I hate this.” The vocals are pretty creepy, I imagine especially if you don’t like this kind of music. Then, a bump against the side of the house coincides with an intense part of the song, and it almost scares me. I reach for my phone to stop the song.

I am in some unfamiliar town with Jackie Greene. I think the town may be in Arizona or Colorado (I had been looking at a digital map of the US and zooming in around that area, surprised by how much of it was forested). It sort of feels like a mountain town, small, isolated, buildings with large wood exteriors, yet not high in elevation. We’re walking through the town and it is very pleasant out. We’re talking about his music and/or me seeing him. I tell him the first time I saw him was at Strawberry and then add ‘2007’ or ‘2017’ to be more specific. I hope I’m not being too annoying about anything, but don’t think I am.

I am at Melissa’s house and logged onto Dante’s Zoom class fairly late. Alex, and I think Cody, are here and at times they can be seen in my background (I have moved around a few different times). I hear Alex ask Cody if he likes the Tedeschi Trucks band. He pronounces it ‘ta-deshy’, whether seriously or not I’m not sure. I know I started out in front of a blue curtain, but now I’m in a little hallway between the garage and house. I’m wearing a hat and/or hoodie and Melissa says something about them not recognizing me. Melissa steps over me once and once again on her way back - it is almost sexual. I’m not sure I’m worried about anyone seeing. Now I think we’re on a break and I’m in what looks like Dad’s backyard. We’re back now and playing a Jeopardy type game. I don’t think I’ve even had my volume up for most of this class. I think the class is scheduled to go later but he cuts it a little early. I am eating some chicken nuggets or strips. The sky looks like a nice later afternoon with a few stray clouds.

I’m going through an In’N’Out drive through with Mom in the passenger’s seat and I think Makayla in the back. This one doesn’t look like any I’ve been to - it seems too small and dingy. The menu is also incredibly tiny and therefore hard to see, so it’s good that I know what we’ll want without having to look at it. I order Mom a #1 with a chocolate shake and myself a #4. *I’m still in the middle of ordering when I’m cut off and awakened by my alarm going off.




I’m either at a Grateful Dead show or watching a video of one. I’m mainly, or only, seeing a fairly young (mid 1970s?) Jerry and Phil. At one point I am so close that I can see their teeth in great detail, Phil’s being thick and wide and Jerry’s being tall and skinny. They are each singing and playing with vigor. The song seems fairly long and jammed out. Now, I am seeing a setlist, I think online. It has track times, so I see that indeed some songs got pretty long - around 16 minutes. At least one title I didn’t recognize, which is very uncommon, if it ever happens, for me.
*Listening to Furthur last night, I was thinking about Phil’s singing.

I am on what seems to be a speed boat. The boat also seems very long and flat. We seem to be going rather fast over the open water (the ocean?) We are not too far away from the shore though. There is something about us being on the way to see Dead and Company and/or John Mayer driving the boat. I think about how I’ve seen Dead and Co in the middle of the desert and will now see them out in the middle of water, impressed by this. (I’m envisioning a scene of them set up out in the sand - by Las Vegas? - with no stage or crowd). I’ve been standing on this boat, and there’s a guy standing next to me. I wait until we’ve arrived to strike up conversation. I ask if he’s ever surfed? In an English accent he says ‘just now’ or something similar. Now, I am swimming.

I am flying, rising up through the air. There are two others with me (I’m not sure if they’re unfamiliar or if I can’t remember what they are), the three of us in a triangular formation. I notice that we are very close to a huge, impossibly tall pine tree. I also hear the lyrics to ‘Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys’ playing in the background: “If you had just a minute to breathe and they granted you one final wish, would you ask for something like another chance?” This really gets to me; I think about it and listen to my heart, saying ‘yes’. The others do not, and I veer away from them, up and to the right. With some effort and vigor, I rise higher. I notice the ground far below, a patchwork of green and brown. I am falling back down now and land way less forcefully than I expected.

I’m in my car with Melissa, driving us somewhere. I think I need gas, so she tells me where to go. She tells me to go left through this roundabout and then to take a right, and I do so. I notice a car coming to the roundabout and think it’s not going to yield to me because everyone assumes no one will take the second exit. Indeed it doesn’t, speeding in front of me. I’m driving down a hill now. The area is very green, with many leafy trees and a large grass area. There’s a large pond in the grassy area. We are now swimming in it, and the surrounding area doesn’t seem as green anymore. A few people in kayaks pass us, too closely I think, and say not to fish/swim in here, humorously. I jokingly say we won’t. I think he meant not to submerge ourselves, which, looking at the murky water, I’m not going to do anyway. We’re out now and on the sandy shore. I’m laying face down on either a towel or my shirt so I can dry off.




I’m on my bed with Melissa and I think we’re each doing something separately. On my record player I am listening to a Brokedown Palace from 1972. Bobby is telling the crowd to shut up and says “oh, I don’t wanna sing” to the melody of the song. I chuckle at the historical interest of it, and Melissa makes a comment too. Now I go out to see if the air is on. I think it’s been running all night, same as the water. We also watch an animated movie with a twist ending or something that suggests a sequel.
*Last night I meant to turn the water off but kept forgetting.

I am in Germany with Mom and Makayla. The first place we go to is a small, unassuming office building. Inside, it looks more like a home that has been converted to an office space. It is a perfect blend of the two. For a short period of time, Makayla and I can’t find Mom. At one point, I see her with a glass of non-alcoholic beer with a few sips missing. Part of me thinks ‘Already?’ There are two German ladies here. They are short and squat, older and very friendly. They speak English with a faint German accent. They work here but do not come off as an ‘employee’, eradicating any ‘us vs. them’ and promoting a genuine sense of helpfulness. The music that is playing here is odd and definitely nothing I’ve ever heard in any office building. It’s fairly loud, a slow and melancholy beat with droning female vocals. Through a window, I see that it is overcast out. One of the ladies says they should do something when it lightens up, gesturing as if she’s parting clouds. Now, I am outside with a different lady. We are sitting on a rocky shore against what must be the ocean. As I sit and observe the scenery and feel the perfect temperature, I am overcome with both grief and something close to euphoria, knowing that this is where I belong and that I’ll have to leave. I think I almost start tearing up. The scenery is rocky, but of soft soil and greenery where it is not. The ocean is calm and dampens the temperature to what I would call perfect. I talk to this lady as a small, wooden pallet drifts this way. There are a few seagulls on it that seem to be steering it. It becomes overcast. I think part of me is aware that Germany is not an island. The lady is showing me a map, pointing us out (a clear island), and showing how close we are to the very southern end of the ‘Hawaiian archipelago.’ There is a succession of maybe ten or so tiny islands to the North until I see the familiar cluster of Hawaiian islands. The rest of the map looks like a bunch of green islands close together on the deep blue of the ocean. She is now showing me where I’ll be staying. The house is two stories, wooden, and facing the ocean. It looks like the entire second story has a deck; we’re walking on it now. We see into one of the rooms, and she is nonchalant, but I’m not sure I like what I see. Looking down into the plain room, I see what looks like a dog bed. On it is a dog collar and some rod-like object. The unsettling part is that I think this is for a human )a captive?). Along the wall to the left there is an open cabinet. Attached to its door are about three black sheathes with different knives. I am disturbed because I thought Germany would be completely pleasant and not at all like this.




I’m outside somewhere that looks similar to Midtown, but I think more residential. From a third person perspective I am watching Donald Trump and his advisor jogging. It seems his ‘advisor’ is trying to keep up with him. Now, I am jogging with them. His pace is fast, and I think of his old age. We turn a corner and head down a straight away. For some reason I imagine someone attempting assassination and how it’d be easy right here; I don’t think he currently has any protection. Now, I am home (the house seems unfamiliar) and I hear some activity in the doorway. There’s a member of the press just inside the door, interacting with someone just out of sight outside the door. He steps into view - it’s Donald Trump. I think I’m naked and/or don’t want him to see me yet, so I hop into the ‘shower’, which is actually the refrigerator. I shut the door and just barely fit in here - I think door’s actually still open just a bit. Pressed up against the sides of this ‘fridge’ with nothing but me in it, I don’t recall my ‘shower’ being this small. I turn the water on and it comes out cold.




I must be performing auto fellatio. I am alone in an almost pitch black
space, feeling the sensations of both giving and receiving oral. It is slow and passionate.




I’m in a store with Mom. she points out a case of beer - it’s all of the World Beer Cup gold winners. The white case is probably almost as long as me and I think $15. Though I know it would be a good choice, I just don’t really want to get it.