non-lucid

I was a busy girl this night! Four MILDs, one almost V-WILD, and one non-lucid, not to mention some shadow creatures at the beginning of the night. Intense!

Side Notes - So, as I was falling asleep there was suddenly some very vivid and weird blobby structure textured like blue jeans behind my eyelids, it twitched and morphed very quickly. This was not hypnagogic imagery (at least, not fully), it was a remnant of when I used to meditate while abusing anticholinergic deliriants, it moved in the exact same way. I open my eyes and say "Great, so I'm hallucinating now." There were dark clouds moving across my room and coming up to my face, I could feel an animal presence in each one, but I didn't allow them to form into anything. Across my ceiling moved a cloud that I always recognize as one of my delirium signs. Had I let it grow, it would've turned into a big white alien crab thing. I decided to just close my eyes and try to fall asleep quickly anyway while repeating my lucidity mantra.

#1 - Playing With The Weather [MILD]

The first few parts of this dream I only remember in flashes. I remember wishing some city was closer to us for some reason, I think I perceived it as some cool party area, then blur... then there's some spaceship ride at a theater or old house or something where we weren't supposed to be, but I got on the ride with a couple other people and it sent me into third-person mode in outer space, controlling some ship (a star destroyer from Star Wars, maybe?) as some commercial about it plays in the background (just the audio) and the ship gets continuously divided into smaller copies of itself by other ships around it. I think this phase is what caused me to become lucid... suddenly I was back in first-person and standing in front of my house. A big red bus was driving down the street and I tried to pull it toward me with telekinesis but it didn't work, probably too big of a task for a beginner. (I don't think I've used telekinesis since my second lucid ever.) So instead I lept up and blasted off into the sky at supersonic speeds, the wind felt so amazing rushing past my face. I even got to feel myself pass through clouds, which was awesome! I watched the ground streak by until I stopped over some really big field in a country area with one or two small farms. I was really high up, above the clouds, and I saw a tornado tearing through the countryside. (Though, aside from a couple storm clouds, it was bright and sunny outside. ) I gave my telekinesis another shot and managed to change its path by holding my hand out and pushing it in a different direction. Next I turned my attention to a storm cloud next to me and tried to make lightning strike the ground from it, but it wasn't really working too well, it was more like a mild flash that was just a glitch in my perception. I guess that one might take some waking life visualization first to do well. After that I transitioned into third-person again and lost lucidity, there was some kid breaking into a bank and some nasty old man with a shotgun (I think...) and his dog comes in and threatens him to leave and return what he stole or he's going to call this other old man and make him his pet. I woke up after that. There was a lot of dream leading up to the blurry part too, I remember experiencing it, just not what it was.... Though I do remember it involved Erii.

#2 - Outmatched [MILD]

I was back in middle school but in a class with a guy I didn't meet until high school, and the environment was somewhat fused with my community college. I have two electric guitars made of rubber, and they really work but they also aren't stable and bend and flop around a lot. Apparently one of them is broken and the other is a replica of the broken one, and my teacher gets mad at me for having them so I ask if I can take them to a different classroom. She says sure, so I get up and start walking through the halls and swing them like crazy on my way, they bend so much that they made that *wop-wop-wop* spinning blade sound but with a cool little electric guitar noise. While walking through the hall I become lucid, and somehow I went from the second floor to the first floor. I look up a massive staircase and see someone who I don't remember, but I flew up to him and asked him where Mason was. (This guy I had a class with in high school, I don't know why I thought of him but I was basically just trying to keep a dream plot going.) He didn't know so I flew off to the cafeteria (first floor) and there were several rows of tables with computers set up there for some reason. I just had fun walking through the rows and seeing tons of old people I went to middle school with, including D and C, working on some projects. I walked to one of the stairwells and sat down next to it and pulled out my phone to start texting (I think I almost lost lucidity here), and O walked by me and said that I'd better be careful because he had just gotten in trouble for doing that, and I was like oh snap, I'm supposed to be in class! I walk up the stairs next to these two random DC girls and tell them about the guitars and they laugh, and I'm like "I know, fuckin' dreams." Upstairs we walk to a section where there's a large gap in between two sections of the floor that you can see the first floor through, with a bridge off to the right of where I am. Directly across from me is a room with a bunch of people standing out front, so I jump across the gap myself and walk into the room. It's small and nearly empty, with another even smaller room (like closet-sized) connected to the side of it. There's a random girl standing next to the window looking out of it, and she looks over at me. Suddenly she runs over to me at LIGHTNING speed, like leaving a blurry trail behind her and everything, and stands right in front of me with this serious face. I freak out and try to kick her away, but with her super speed she just jumps to right behind my foot. She just stares at me and then reaches out to grab my leg. O_O And I'm basically terrified at this point, but then I wake up.

I need to master that level of super speed as a power!!

#3 - Walking On Water [MILD]

O and I are leaving our middle school to go to In-N-Out for lunch but we accidentally use an exit door that has an alarm on it. I figured this out after we used it but O didn't, so I just wanted to get out of there so I don't get in trouble. We almost left, but O started seeing everyones' reactions to the alarm going off and starts having a panic attack, so I put aside my worries to keep him calm. It jumps forward to me right up next to some window blinds, like literally they're all I see, with individual ones having information printed on them about how I have to sit in this timeout class all day for being in trouble, and it specifically stated that one of the school admins was ninja9578. Eventually I back away from the blinds and see that this class is in a tiny building in front of the school, in the parking lot. This one guy in somewhat fancy black clothes is there and asks me what I'm there for after talking to the teacher about something, but I became lucid around this point. I just tell him I'm getting out of there, and I fly up and phase through the wall and into the sky. I look back and see him smiling and looking encouragingly at me, and he says "This is a dream!" or something like that, and I just smile at him and fly off. I start off down the road toward my house, but then I decided to ground myself and hoof it this time to make sure I didn't get too much of an adrenaline rush. I run down the path, and normally there's a bridge and on the left side of it you see my old elementary school, but instead this time right at the edge of the bridge was a beach with a long stretch of water going out from it. :O I decided that walking on water would be a cool thing to do, so I just ran out on to it. There are waves forming and breaking beneath me and it feels so cool, I try to jump over the waves as they come just for the fun of it. That went on for a short amount of time, then the dream ended.

False Awakening - I had a false awakening here where I intended to start writing that dream down, but it wasn't really significant. Luckily it didn't mess with my memory of it, but it did make me think I had woken up between the alarm part and the getting in trouble briefly when I actually hadn't.

#4 - Sleepwalking Scare [MILD]

I was briefly lucid, I can't remember much other than that the plot of the dream seemed really unstable and ill-formed, like the DCs were actually invisible. They were definitely there in a third eye kind of way, but they vanished easily, and I was afraid that I was actually lucid sleepwalking or something because I was standing naked in my bathroom, and if I closed my eyes and walked around I felt myself moving and all, but when I would open them I'd still be in the same spot. However, when I actually woke up I was still in bed.

Side Notes - After this I wasn't really intending to fall back asleep, but I didn't feel like getting up either. I stayed in bed and started thinking about giving myself a breast massage, but I was so lazy that I didn't even actually feel like lifting my arms to do it, so I started visualizing it instead. To my surprise, the visualization was incredibly strong, and I felt like it was actually happening. A scene started forming around me too, I was walking Target and looking at DVDs while doing this. It definitely felt like it was about to completely take over and suck me into a V-WILD several times, but it was never able to fully do it. Maybe if I'd done this method before I would've known how to push it all the way, but as it is I just don't think I was tired enough to fall into it. After I gave up with that it took me another fifteen or twenty minutes to fall asleep again.

#5 - Chao Raising [Non-Lucid]

I was raising chao (from Sonic Adventure) with K, and then my memory gets blurry.... I wrote down "find a way back to the beginning of an obstacle course which takes me back to the beginning of it all and causes me to hatch from one of his eggs?" I remember before this he was at my house writing a trip report for some cannabinoid smoking blend we had both tried, and then he was leaving but I said I wanted to go with him and he said I needed to hurry, so I went to change clothes and somehow it launched into that. Afterwards he asked me what I was going to do with the new chao and I told him I might go for one beauty-based (?) because until then I'd been looking at Erii as the figure of beauty. (??) Then I woke up lol.

So, I tried taking 1500 mg of aniracetam at midnight to see the effect it would have on my dreams. My advice would be that if you are sensitive to hallucinogenic states of mind (like I am) and/or have a history of panic attacks and general anxiety (like I do), that you DO NOT try this. In my previous experiences using aniracetam as a nootropic, I had noticed that it seemed kind of like piracetam but a bit more trippy, it just has sort of a dissociative energy to it. Now I know that I shouldn't take more than a standard dose (750 mg) or possibly even that if I'm not willing to deal with that. :T

Basically, as it was setting in, my thoughts started racing. I also realized that it may not be good to take a good dose of something that pushes a lot of oxygen to the brain while trying to go to sleep, but that's my bad. I was zoned out and into a mild hypnagogic trance (I get very light, transparent hallucinations easily) when suddenly the weird patterns I was watching became really strong and pushed me into alertness. I sat up thinking "Okay, that was odd. >_>" After that there was an abrupt shift in consciousness, I honestly did a RC to make sure I wasn't dreaming. It didn't really feel like a dream though, more like a trip. In the same way that hypnagogia can involve things like loud noises or images that appear really quick and then vanish in a way that makes them immediately feel really distant, I started getting sensations of chest pains that would last barely a second, then feel like they almost never happened in the first place, and I started to hear my heart beating and it sounded somewhat erratic. Though I've never had it quite as fleeting as this before, I've been here a million times... the point where I have to suddenly get myself under control or I'm going to launch into a panic attack.

I forced myself to get a grip, and started doing some of my normal calming exercises. The anxiety and sensations didn't fully go away, but it didn't make me totally freak out or anything. I frequently was getting the unsettlingly strong dissociative feeling of having all of my senses pulled away from me, like I was about to snap into an anesthetic OBE, but this also came and went pretty quickly. It took me a long time to fall asleep after that, and I think I had one dream before the first one I logged but I can't really recall anything about it. However, all of my dreams after that were considerably more vivid than they had been the past few days, or even really more than any dreams I'd had in a while.

I'd always wondered about the supposed 5-HT2A and D2/D3 action of aniracetam. I'm still not sure if they've verified it yet, but I'm more willing to believe it interacts with those receptors in some way now. It was a lot crazier than I expected.... I know people take doses much higher than that normally and are fine, too. I guess I'm just really sensitive to its effects. If I try it again in the future, I'll probably stick to the 750 mg doses, and probably a couple hours before bed. It does seem to have an augmentative effect, but it needs to be used correctly.

Anyway....

#1 - Meeting Up With Laura [Non-Lucid]

I was hanging out with this guy J I met in high school but haven't seen much of since graduation, and I was supposed to be meeting up with some girl I don't know named Laura soon. I asked J if he wanted to go to her house with me and he said sure. This part of the dream is hazy, but we got in my car and I drove us there, and somewhere down the line J turned into D. We got to her house, but she wasn't there! Her parents and my parents were, though. They were having some kind of breakfast feast with a bunch of pans on the stove that included hash browns, eggs, and mini pancakes, possibly among other things. I went into Laura's room and gave her a call on my cell (I think) and it turned out she had actually gone to my house looking for me, so I felt bad about missing her. :T I told her we'd go bowling to make up for it when I got back. I saw her as I was talking to her, but she's hard to remember. At this point my mind started associating her with Laura Palmer, from Twin Peaks, and she was blonde like her but she didn't really look like her otherwise. I thought to myself maybe we can bring some drugs or alcohol to the bowling alley to surprise her, that'll make her happy. After I got off the phone I went back and saw D pigging out on all the breakfast food. I told him we needed to head out and that he should make those pancakes he was getting be his last plate, and he said "Even worse, I think they're Chinese." and laughed. At the time, I knew what this meant.... It was some reference to the way they were cooked. I have no idea what it means now, though. After that, we were getting ready to leave and I woke up.

#2 - Talking About Disgaea [Non-Lucid]

I spent the night at someone's house talking about drugs or something, then in the morning when I woke up and walked out the front door (into a big auditorium-like building, on the second floor ) there was a huge band/orchestra event going on, so I wanted to get out of there quickly. I distinctly remember walking past this chibified version of another J I knew in school, and he even had a squeaky voice to go along with his look. I ran into an old friend (some random DC?) and the scene changes to a huge department store, and she gets mad at me for not forcing her to play Disgaea before when she thought she wouldn't like it because she said she finally decided to try it after all these years and loves it. She asks for some teaser details about what she can expect out of the game, so I gave some vague information about the plot and some cool stuff you can do in the game, which were amazingly accurate considering I was saying this in a dream, but then the dream ended.

#3 - Glitchy New Pokémon Game [Non-Lucid]

Playing a copy of an unreleased Pokémon game that I somehow downloaded on to a flash cart. (Even in the dream I admit to not remembering how I got it.) I refer to the game as Black version, but I think I might have meant Black 2. It looks cool, but because it's a dream it's extremely glitchy and not consistent at all. Yet somehow, I managed to realize that if you keep going back and retrying the options you were pressing over and over again intending them to work, they eventually would. I don't remember much about the content, though I was actually able to read everything perfectly fine, and I remember seeing a picture of Link (in child form) from his art in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Meanwhile, my parents are also walking around the house (I'm moving around while playing) and arguing about whether or not someone will be able to fix some issue if my dad contacts her, but I can't remember exactly what.

My recall's starting to get pretty poor, I think I need to start reading up on some ways to increase it, and also some lucid stabilization guides. I had two lucids, but it seems like every time I have one that lasts more than a few seconds it's spent fighting the dream to keep it alive, and often failing, and I don't get to focus on anything like finding Linkzelda41 or exploring powers. :T Hmm.... (Though, I guess I did get to briefly attempt one thing that would be useful for that this time, but it didn't really work.)

Fragment - "K, tripping, freak out fan on/off, zombies, his phone too warm."

Fragment - "Giant valley filled with water, pink Star Fox fighter battle, on DS. Water level dropped at end."

#1 - Fight To Survive [MILD]

I'm in high school with O and D, a history class I think, and our teacher is giving us a lesson along with some humongous white snake with no eyes that still somehow stares into your soul. Some guy in class was browsing the internet (on his laptop I guess, kind of hard to remember) instead of paying attention, so the snake caused him to become a cartoon and switch bodies with a female anthropomorphic bunny. o_o After class we're getting ready to leave as if class was totally normal, and I became lucid after talking to them about the snake. O walks through a door with some girl on the way out (like literally, they phased right through it) and I follow him (phasing through the door as well, the first lucid power I actually had to work to get good at, and can now do flawlessly ) to try to get him to come back but he still walks off. I decide to open the door to change where it leads to, and it kind of works but not really, it just leads me to a different school hallway. The dream starts to fade so I start rubbing my hands together and feeling the walls and looking all over the place for new input but it's not really working, so I jump forward and start licking the wall as well, three senses stimulated! It doesn't taste as bad as I would have imagined, just sort of neutral. I start walking down the wall (never removing my hands or tongue from it) trying to find something to do, and the dream clearly doesn't want to last. My limbs are slowly failing as if I'd been fatally poisoned or something. Finally I see one of those little bins they had at stores with different ice cream cones and bars in them, and I run over there and just grab a regular vanilla ice cream cone. I started eating it and it actually tasted pretty good, but then I woke up. I guess it wasn't a total waste.

#2 - False False Awakening? [MILD]

I was talking to K about some politics related to lucid dreaming (mostly gibberish I think, but something about how some politician was claiming that lucid dreaming was equivalent to passing through the gates of hell ), and then I get a... well, it's odd because I can't remember far enough back in the dream to know if this was actually true or not, and I want to say it's not, but suddenly I had a feeling of clarity and said "Oh, this is a false awakening." and that made me lucid. I just looked at K and said "You're not even going to remember this conversation." And he smiled at me, then I woke up. On to the couch in my den, which seemed perfectly normal. I thought the conversation we were having was funny so I wrote it down to tell K about it later, but once I finished I actually woke up in bed, and I don't really remember much about the conversation now.

I can't wait for Link to read this one.

#1 - Cute Animal Class [Non-Lucid]

I'm back in a middle or high school class, but it's taking place in my room at home. I don't perceive it as my room at the time, though. The class was strange, and generally involved petting cute animals. I spent the first part of a dream petting a black cat that was sooo fluffy, and I remember a white cat walking around in the background, and at some point some dog that was cute but upon waking up I'm pretty sure was horribly mutated, or at least not remotely what a dog should look like. I think she was based on N's dog, too. Class ends, and I remember thinking that winter break was about to start. I reach down and grab a random blue jacket that's sitting on my bed and struggle to put it on for a minute, then I turn to look at the door and notice that Linkzelda41 is there! I said something along the lines of "Merry Christmas" or "happy holidays", and I ask him to wait up for me while I grab my stuff so we can leave the class together, but he heads out. :< I try to grab all my stuff and run after him, but I start to notice that there's a LOT of my stuff in this classroom. (Still haven't realized that it's my room. ) I start panicking and grabbing as much as possible, thinking "I can't just leave all this stuff here, I need it at home!!", and my arms are starting to get really full and I'm not sure how much more I can carry, but then I wake up.

Fragment - "Large class, black midgets with dog heads that turn into trucks, singing, P."

#2 - Our Fate Is Sealed [Non-Lucid]

I'm with a bunch of other people my age in a house (based on D's?) sitting on a couch facing the kitchen counter. Apparently, we perceive it as being stranded or locked in somehow, and we have been for a couple days. We're trying to keep spirits high, and one guy has been smoking weed with the guy who's cooking our meals because he was freaking out, and we all joke that the food is way better now. A girl tries to play a prank on them after they're coming back to the room from smoking a bowl, but isn't fast enough. He makes some small plates of food and hands them out (and I mean really small, but I suppose we're rationing), and I offer some to the girl sitting next to me on the couch but she declines. Finally she says "It's going to happen... we're all going to die." She has some prophetic powers or something and laments that after all this being trapped it's just going to end. She warns everyone that if they want to make the end of their lives worth it they better do it now. She points at me and says she can't say why but I'm the only one who can go home, but it still won't save me. She also claims that some of us may temporarily come back from the dead but not for long. As a result, when I get home she wants me to make a list with all of our names on it, that way it'll add to the mystery when we die, and when she comes back to life she can get the list and sell it for millions. I woke up after she said that, though.

#1 - New New House [Non-Lucid]

I went to see O's new house for the first time (imaginary house, though going to see O's actual new house was what I did during the day). He had become rich and famous or something, the house was gigantic with wide-open spaces and two stories, and of course tons of alcohol. (Makes sense if you know him.) He had a bed that had some special switch on it that lets you make it shift back and forth between a tempurpedic bed with a heating system and a waterbed, and he even had a several-pages-long list of guests who were allowed to come in. His parents, who are really strict and don't know he's ever had alcohol and never want him to ended up coming over. Everything was going fine until they pulled out a breathalyzer and tested him, and he was a little drunk. They stormed out and told him to come with them. We all went out to the front door and turned into a pink ghost and started floating out toward the car, and we all said "Phantom, you don't have to do this!" Someone went after him, then I did too to change his mind, but it turned out it was just someone elses' car and he was just getting it unstuck and had always intended to stay. I was happy and told him I wanted to try his awesome bed! It jumps forward a bit to at night, apparently I had passed out in the bed so I got up to let him have it back and sleep on a couch. There was a TV screen on that showed the amount of beer in his bedside cooler and had a visualizer that went along with the sounds in the house. o_o (Or as O put it, "the 'verse".) It was dark because all the lights were out but he showed me to some blankets and pillows and I put them on the couch, and he talked about how he was so full and tired because he made the bad decision of eating a lot of bread even after going through all that drama, which he referred to as "Hell McMisery". After that we laughed and I laid down, then I woke up.

#2 - Down The Rabbit Hole [DILD]

I went to go meet with a girl, S, who I had a rather embarrassing encounter with once in mid high school, but have known since middle school. And when I say "rather", I mean "extremely", and I'm not going to go into it. >_< She finally shows up in the room I'm in (it looks almost like a living room/kitchen in a trailer house?) but has no desire to see me, and I don't blame her, but I tell her some really cryptic and trippy thing about how "the rabbit will show you the truth", then I leave and it jumps forward to me walking down the side of a road. A car full of gigantic evil-looking bunny ears headbands (and also wearing some) pulls up but then drives off when I try to get into it and I get mad. I keep walking and become lucid, and another car with an actual driver but still filled with those same evil headbands drives by. I reach out my hand and say "Flagged!" and it pulls over, but as I turn to see it (it drove slightly behind where I was) I see a highly attractive woman walking down the street. I lift my hand again to the car and say "Fired!" and it drives off. I move my hand over to the woman and say "Flagged!" again and she walks over to me. She's blonde, stunning, and wearing some super erotic futuristic stripper-like outfit but manages to pull it off in a classy way with how gorgeous she was. I asked her if she wanted to make out with me, and she looks at me odd and I say "Come on, I'm the Easter bunny. :<" She looks like she's considering it but then things start going blurry and I'm like fuckfuckfuck gotta stabilize! And I intend to reach out to her but then the dream ends.

Two more lucids! The first one was fun, the second one was really interesting but short. Since I've started telling myself to look for Linkzelda41 when going to bed I've also been adding in things like "I will remember my dreams." and "I will become lucid.", so I guess that means I'm not allowed to list them as DILDs anymore. Time to start working up my MILD counter.

#1 - Experimental Drugs [Non-Lucid]

This one was short, but interesting. My parents were going out to a party so I'd have the house to myself for the night, and my dad decided to synthesize some brand new psychedelics for me to try while they were gone. :O He managed to sneak me three different drugs, which were named "Kaomea", "Kaomea's lucid", and "carousel". My mom almost caught him doing it though and seemed suspicious for the rest of the dream, during which I was pretty much just waiting for them to leave. I remember that at least one of the drugs looked like a big rock covered in gemstones.... How am I supposed to take that?

#2 - Lucid Nature Walk [MILD]

I was at a store looking at Yu-Gi-Oh! cards with D and we meet up with some kid, and I don't remember why but they end up going outside to do a duel to the death (with guns, not a Yu-Gi-Oh! duel lol). The store is also a restaurant run by my old European history AP teacher, so I go over and pay her for the food (which I don't think we had any of...) and also a card I wanted to buy because it had a 5 at the end of one of its stats. :3 (I can't remember if it was ATK or DEF, but no monsters have stats like that.) I went out into the parking lot to watch their duel, and as they were talking I became lucid and the kid became this guy J who I haven't seen since around middle school. I take the card out of my pocket knowing it'll have changed to see what it is now, and it has a 2 at the end of its ATK stat and a 3 at the end of its DEF stat, and it's now an orange. The image on the card is literally just the inside of an orange, and the border of the card looked like the outside of an orange. I laugh and throw it down, and then tell D and J that I wish there were more DCs to talk to. There's a small forest on the edge of the parking lot, so I tell them we're going to go walk through a trail I see. I start yelling commands to become more lucid and have the dream be more vivid, but they kept coming out wrong and confusing me, like one I yelled was "I'm aware that I'm dreaming, but I do not have control." Though, after I said that one it kind of felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I sat down on the dirt and squeezed it to feel it run through my fingers, it felt awesome. And then I had a great idea! I stripped naked and laid down in the dirt. I knew it was going to be terrible to do this, but I closed my eyes too. It was fun and felt so comfortable. When I opened my eyes I was in a false awakening (and still didn't do a RC! ) where I was still naked and walked into a room where N was sleeping and K was inviting him to go get frozen yogurt with him and S. I told them I'd be coming too as soon as I got dressed, and N started telling me about a dream he was having, then I woke up.

#3 - The Monkey Loop [MILD]

After school, D and I are in a cul-de-sac when my car breaks down and we don't have a spare tire. There are some kids goofing around there that don't like us at first but we bond in a weird way (though I don't remember exactly how) and we find a spare tire by the road, but it turns out to be a bike tire. I try calling my dad to come pick us up but my phone never works correctly or he doesn't answer his, and we eventually decide to call the cops as backup to get us home. In the meantime, we see a big house and D accidentally breaks through the front door somehow. That part is hazy. We go inside and I say oh snap, this is S's house! (Even if it was, which it wasn't, the following reaction doesn't make much sense.) We all ran out of the house trying to get away before the cops we called show up, and at some point a gigantic monkey had arrived for one of us to ride, and now a lion was arriving for the other. I grabbed the monkey's reins and jumped on his back and D jumped on the lion, and we said goodbye to the kids and rode off. Suddenly I was riding the monkey through my parents' bedroom, and I became lucid. We went straight from one end of the room to the other and walked through the mirror behind my parents' bed. As soon as we did it looped back to the other end of the room and we got stuck in this infinitely looping cycle. It was really intense at the time, and I started noticing that depending on how I focused my eyes, despite the fact that the mirror was not really in my line of sight, things would repeat infinitely. First I had my eyes focused near me and the monkey's skin and fur was growing closer and closer to me and I was afraid that the dream was going to end, so I focused my eyes away and saw my reflection below, I watched my face multiplying and getting further and further away. That caused the dream to end into a false awakening where D and I realized we had fallen asleep in study hall and school wasn't even over yet. That was quite a ride!

#1 - Moving Too Fast [Non-Lucid]

This dream was fairly long, but I really only remember the stuff that happened near the end. I remember that my dad's car had been rigged to explode and some guy had the detonator to set it off whenever he pleased, but we had removed it from our parking lot so we weren't worried. And yes - I said parking lot. We were living in some big fancy house that I'm totally unfamiliar with, but I could see through the window out back to where we had our own tiny parking lot with five or six cars parked in it. Clearly we were well off in this dream! I went into one of the bedrooms and saw a lot of random people, mostly people from my high school but other people too, just hanging around a TV which a bunch of game systems connected to it. I sat down and joined them, and we were testing some new device that lets you play Xbox 360 games on any system. (But with what purpose? ) It stopped working properly when we tried to use it with a Dreamcast, though. I don't remember what I said next, but this one girl, C, that I've known since elementary school decided to take my idea and make an X-rated video game with it. I remember them discussing briefly how it needed to be virtual reality, and I believe I saw an image of a naked woman in front of me, but then they started talking about how they would need to sacrifice a large number of some small animal to make it happen. Someone who I didn't quite recognize at first (and may have just been really hazy in general) gets up and says they refuse to take part in that, and left the room. I just stared in the direction he left in for a minute, and then I thought to myself, hold on, was that Linkzelda41!? So I got up and followed him out of the room.

Here you go, Link.... Make of this what you will. When I walked outside, the scene changed to a school I'm not familiar with, but it was fairly wide-open. There was a large crowd of people and I saw Link way up ahead, and I tried to catch up to him but he was moving too fast for me, he kept getting further away and there were constantly people getting in my way, and since I was non-lucid after a while they caused me to get distracted. I eventually lost track of Link so my brain invented a new problem for me, the fact that I was about to be late to class. I ran into some other people I knew from high school in the hallway (though I don't remember who) and we walked past what looked like it was about to turn into a fight, but everyone there started singing Christmas songs instead. I started telling people about the porn video game that was being made by this guy, J, despite the fact that he wasn't even there, and then I went off to find my class. I wasn't able to though, I just got really anxious about it until I woke up. :T

Fragment - "Man of Shred, infinite theory". That's what I wrote in my phone when I woke up. Hmmm....

#2 - Losing Control [DILD]

I was in high school and I went to see an old teacher (not one that I actually had, or even exists) that a younger friend now had and liked but he turned out to be totally senile. :< That part of the dream is pretty hazy. I see a beautiful girl walk by and feel a crush coming on, and I'm like damn it, I shouldn't have come back to high school. >:T I left out the front door and a crowd of people followed me and I can't remember how, but somehow I was proving something to someone. I think the whole crowd of people was following me to my car, followed by this girl M who's in a lot of my dreams lately (but not the same one that I got drunk with from the last entry, I should come up with a better naming system...), and she was wearing braces though I don't think I ever actually saw her with any. Suddenly I became lucid, I think seeing M might have tipped me off to the fact that I was dreaming. I turned around and started walking backward so I could see the crowd, but the dream started fading. I said "Come on, people, let's stay lucid now!" and it came back. But I let my stupid emotions from the non-lucid seep into me and still felt some lovey feelings, so I grabbed M and tried to give her a kiss, but she backed off a little and then her lips vanished. o_o She also gained some freckles she definitely didn't have before.... After that, the dream ended.

Urgh, I'm so fried right now. -.-;; I ended up drinking again last night with my friend M, I really need to take a break now.... But anyway, I had one dream, and it ended with what may be a false awakening, but honestly I'm starting to think I may have actually woken up but just been hallucinating for a minute before my brain fully woke up. Before I went back to sleep again after that (though I don't remember any more dreams) I was able to make myself hallucinate some things by focusing on them so I'm pretty sure this was the case, actually.

#1 - King Of The Jungle [Non-Lucid]

The first thing I remember is trying to follow M to some strip mall restaurant, but on the way there there was a large space between the two of us and a bunch of old guys kept walking in my way really slowly and annoyingly. But I finally got there and ran into C, a kid I haven't seen since right after high school, but who I've known since the day care I went to before I started elementary school. I think I got caught up with him a little while we were standing in line waiting for food, but then it jumped forward to me being in the jungle. I got stuck in some kind of loop here.... I would wander through the jungle a bit until I ran into King Kong () And there would be some big smoke explosion or something (it's really hard to remember) that would make it hard to see him, and I'd walk off on some path extending directly outward in the direction he was facing. After a while the path would curve to the right and I'd just continue down it. Then it would start over again, and it happened at least three or four times, possibly more. I remember telling myself that this was just part of my daily routine, it was what I did every day before lunch. So on the last time I exit the foresty area and end up in a big open meadow. And I get a text from Linkzelda41! I don't remember the exact wording of the first couple texts, but he invites me to go to lunch with him and OpheliaBlue. I think to myself that I just came from eating with OpheliaBlue, but I could eat again. I ask him what they're getting and he responds with "It's a Mediterranean cuisine." I text back "Mmm. Where at?", but after that the dream ended.

Here's where the false awakening/hallucinations thing happened.... I woke up in M's apartment, sleeping on the couch. This was all EXTREMELY vivid. Way more vivid than any false awakening I've ever had, it was basically exactly like real life. Every single detail was correct, despite the fact that it was only my second time ever being there and my first time ever being there in the morning. When I actually fully woke up, the lighting coming in through the windows and everything was still exactly the same, and there was no lapse in consciousness between this part and when I was awake, it just switched. So I'm pretty sure I just physically woke up but was still dreaming.... Anyway, so I woke up. M was walking around the apartment holding a Gatorade bottle filled with what looked like marinara or pizza sauce. She looked at me and said "Hey, you up?" to which I looked around slowly and then responded with "I think I'm awake...." Though, this is also a sign for me because I've never noticed anything was up in a false awakening before, even the incredibly bizarre ones. So she holds out the bottle to me and says "At least we've got mozzarella wine! " I looked at her confused and she started talking about how she'd gone to a class already (she had class in a few hours) and some guy kept farting the whole time, and the other people in the class were picking on him and calling him some mean nickname, though I don't remember what it was. I laid my head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes while saying "That's rude." :< M hesitates for a second and then says "What?" and I open my eyes ready to say that I was talking about how they were making fun of the guy, but when I do she's not there. Everything else is the same. And I realize that I'm awake. o_o

Well, I went to bed last night fairly drunk from red wine and having taken a few small hits of JWH-250. I'm sure this had some effect on my dreams but it's hard to say, though there was something pretty interesting at the end of the night!

Fragment - I remember being in some hotel filled with water and a manatee swimming around, and you had to get to some other private room above the main one I was in by climbing along a ledge on wall, but that was also where the manatee mates and it gets mad at you for being up there so it tries to attack you while you're doing it. I also remember that when I reached the room there were voices of Family Guy characters saying really random stuff. I also recall hearing the phrase "twelve year olds without sex".

Fragment - I just remember being in a chat room with Seroquel and OldSparta.

Fragment - I'm looking after some guy (perhaps handicapped? he seemed incredibly child-like) and trying to be buddies with him, I was showing him some anime movies which weren't real but looked pretty interesting. The only other thing I remember is that the TV had two separate volume systems that you had to make work together to control the sound. >.>

#1 - A Crazy Night [Non-Lucid]

This occurred almost immediately after the last fragment, I was awake for probably a second or two. I was walking through a store with O and talking to him about getting drunk and losing my clothes and how I'd probably never find them, and O says "Yeah, I think the neighbors saw you." During this this one guy I knew in high school came by and asked us if we worked there but we said no, so he walked off.

#2 - The Patrick Effect [Non-Lucid]

I was in my dad's car with my family (but my mom was driving) and we were driving down what I perceived as our alleyway, but it was actually nothing like it, it was like a dirt road with bright green grass hills on each side and a bunch of little shacks with cars parked all around them, and no fences of any kind. The car breaks down when we pull off to the side, and we stand outside with a bunch of other people for a minute, then it jumps forward to that night at my house and we're having a huge party. I think the party is centered around me somehow, actually. I get tired of being in the den and kitchen where most of the commotion is, so I go into the living room to hang out with O, a random girl I don't know, and another DC that frequently changes throughout the rest of the dream. We started talking about music, and I'm trying to tell the random DC about one song that's really good but I couldn't remember what it was called, but the girl reminded me. (It's "Layla", though in the dream I thought of it as "Leila". )



I went out to the kitchen and den again to see everyone had gone outside so I wasn't too worried about playing loud music, and I tried to put it on by going to YouTube and typing it in, but instead I found... the most amazing thing I've ever seen in a dream. On the screen were characters from SpongeBob SquarePants, with an especially large focus on Patrick (and I think maybe Squidward). They were all quickly jumping all around the screen (mostly one character at a time, though) and ranging from really close to really far away and performing very random movements and actions, and muttering things that were definitely in their voices but completely inaudible, it was like total delirium. While they were doing these things, the entire screen was engulfed in gear-patterned-type kaleidoscopes of sky blue light distortions and tendrils that pulsed heavily and emanated from a blindingly bright white vortex in the center of the screen. The characters and background scenery were dragged along with and twisted and bent by these distortions, and overall the scene was just like some unbelievably massive acid trip. Staring at it for too long caused a grid of Pokémon to form in my vision, and I looked away to see everyone else in the room staring at it in awe. My dad had also come into the room and sat down at the table and was marveling at it. I looked back at it and just stared some more because I couldn't bring myself to look away, it was so beautiful. The Pokémon grid thing started happening again, and suddenly I realized that I was shirtless. I went into my room to put something on, and started thinking about how I was going to spend countless hours watching the screen and seeing how far I can dive into my mind with it, but then I woke up.

I am now officially dubbing this "The Patrick Effect" and making it one of my lucid goals to recreate this effect in a dream. I never expected my mind to create such a powerfully accurate psychedelic effect in my dreams, I must use this subconscious ability as much as possible!

I decided to try using aniracetam as a sleep aid last night, I'm not totally sure if it had an effect yet but my dreams did seem different than normal. I took 750 mg, maybe I'll try 1500 mg tonight. I did manage to remember a good few more dreams than normal, but I think that's mainly because I decided to stay in bed and keep falling asleep again for longer.

#1 - The Water Slide Accident [Non-Lucid]

I'm at some public pool working as part of some "water-raising" experiment. (Like literally... I think all we were trying to do was increase the water level in the pool. ) There was a gigantic rectangular tent at the top of a long water slide on one end of the pool, and I climbed up the slide (somehow) and into the tent. In it was Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, a couple other random people (maybe other characters from The Big Bang Theory but it's hard to remember), and my middle school orchestra teacher. Sheldon was doing something to conduct the experiment, and we all stepped forward to look out the window to see if the water in the pool was rising, but we shifted too much weight in the tent and it started slipping down the slide and into the pool. It was completely closed in and we were all freaking out thinking we might get trapped inside of it and drown. We hit the water and I expected to die, but somehow I made it up and slowly I saw everyone else popping up out of the water as well, including Linkzelda41, actually as Link! (For those not game-savvy, the character in his avatar.) I made sure everyone was okay but noticed that my teacher had never come up, and when he finally did he wasn't breathing. I went over to him and we dragged him out of the water and I started doing CPR, though without the mouth-to-mouth, just the chest thing. (The dream switched to third-person around this time, too.) I did it for a long time but it wasn't working, and I started crying but I didn't stop doing it. But he finally gasped and woke up! When he did I gave him a big hug and wouldn't let go. The dream jumped forward to me being in the hospital and getting prescribed some random drugs for... something, I guess mental trauma? :T I don't know, but the dream ended at that point.

#2 - Trapped In Darkness [Non-Lucid]

I'm home alone watching a movie almost totally in the dark, and the darkness is starting to creep me out a bit. I read online (or maybe heard from someone, or something...) about how some secret FBI agent or some other government agent on a plane accidentally stabbed someone they were sitting next to by activating a lightsaber unwittingly in his bag because it was built with an on switch that was too easy to access because the designer was lazy. I also remember that the lightsaber was red, because I actually saw it happen in a third-person kind of way. This had revealed to the world that the US government had successfully created lightsabers, so I texted J (who's a big Star Wars fan) about it and then read something about how they were launching a new moon into the sky to make up for it. I looked out back through the glass doors and saw a plane in the sky, so then I went out front and saw a rocket (really tiny) launch off in one direction across the sky, and a HUGE, absolutely gigantic moon launch off in the other direction, but from the same source. It went behind the house so I went back in and to the back yard, and looked straight up in the sky and saw it there, still enormous. All of the stars in the sky were constantly scrolling across it like the night sky was just a huge spinning wheel, but that didn't really seem to bother me much. The darkness outside was getting really thick though and it was still scaring me, so I went back inside and walked into the bathroom. I tried to turn on the light switch, but it wouldn't work. () That made me even more freaked out, so I ran out into the living room just generally frightened and hoping my mom and dad would be home soon, but then I woke up.

I'm never going to get better at doing RCs.

#3 - Dreaming About Sleep Paralysis? [Non-Lucid]

There's some presentation going on at my house in the den by some orchestra guy, with lots of orchestra teachers there sitting in rows of chairs, including my high school orchestra teacher. My friend J (the one I texted before) and his mom are also sitting way up at the front, right by the TV. The guy puts on a song and each of the teachers has a music sheet where they're supposed to be writing down the notes as they hear them, but almost none of them do, instead opting to wait until the end to just jot them all down, which I find pretty impressive at the time. After they all finished and walked away, I walked up to J and told him I thought I'd have some awesome news to tell him about lightsabers being real, but that turned out to be a dream. () He laughs, and we go out into the living room to hang out with some random girl and OpheliaBlue. We start watching a movie, and I can't remember what I was wearing but I just remember thinking of it as something really informal to the point that it would be embarrassing to be seen wearing it, and then the doorbell rang. I didn't want to answer it like that so I went into my bedroom to change, and that's when things got weird. My room was dark, and my fan was sticking out of the wall to the left of me when I walked in, but still running. My movements became incredibly jerky and snapped back as if I was in sleep paralysis with my eyes open, but honestly... I'm not sure if I actually was, or if I was just dreaming that I was. Part of the reason I think that is because I "realized" that I was in sleep paralysis, but I don't think I was really lucid about it, and I never realize it when I actually do wake up into it. I don't know though.... It was incredibly vivid, so maybe I was and I just realized it for half a second and then started hallucinating. Anyway, after the realization my vision switched to a third-person view from the perspective of the road in front of my house, looking up at a bunch of trees hanging over it (which aren't actually there). These trees were very mystically mechanical in their movements and had something that I call the "IMAX 3D" effect, which is something I get when I'm tripping really hard where everything is more detailed then anything in reality actually is. I started to wonder if I was on DXM, but then I started thinking that the doorbell ringing was probably just my parents coming home (since they were still gone from the previous dream, I guess) and I could've just answered it how I was. I saw that playing out in my mind's eye, but after that I woke up and noticed that my fan wasn't exactly in the same position in my view as it was when I thought I was in sleep paralysis, so... I just don't know.

#4 - Testing A New MMO [DILD]

I'm at my aunt and uncles' house. I don't remember much of the first part of the dream, but I end up going in the little kids room and slide across the floor in the weird way I do in dreams sometimes, and that warps me back to the front of the house. Some MMO has come out where you play the game in real life and you use these rifles that shoot green plasma bullets. I get one just to see how it is, and S ends up getting one too so he comes over to play it with me. We run around the house shooting at each other, and then I run back into the little kids room and end up doing the slide again. I say "Oh, this is a dream, isn't it?" and become lucid. Unfortunately, after this dream ended I didn't wake up enough to write it down, I fell back asleep and had some other non-lucid dream, and when I woke up again I tried to write down this one as quickly as possible but I still can't remember what happened after I became lucid, though something did happen. I also don't remember the other dream, either. Oh well....

#5 - An Intense Argument [Non-Lucid]

I get a hotel room for some reason with an old friend J (different J than before) and some guy who's just a random DC, but apparently a very close friend of mine. I'm trying to have a good time talking to both of them, but there seems to be a lot of tension between the two. (I know what this is based off of, it has to do with J. :T) They end up getting into a big argument and both strip naked to show their dominance. And then they start wrestling! One side of me is like, come on guys, don't do this, you're being childish.... :\ And the other side of me is like !!!! They break up the fight and the guy tells J to get out and not come back, so he does. I'm planning to go drop J off and come back to hang out with the guy, and I tell him it'll only take me about twenty minutes but he says he has to be at a football game in that same amount of time. So I say goodbye, and shake hands with his girlfriend (who just randomly appeared, and apparently I had just met) and hug him, and they left. J is texting me to hurry up, and I'm trying to switch from shoes to sandals for some reason but my socks are being illogically weird feeling and won't come off. Finally I just walk into the hallway, which is actually the music hall in my middle school (and the hotel room was where the orchestra room is) and I hear D's voice telling me we'll never make it in time because the middle school is right by the football game and the traffic will be terrible.

#6 - The Secret Codes [Non-Lucid]

This one shifts back and forth between first- and third-person a lot. I remember Hank from King Of The Hill talking to a group of kids about some (fictional) famous singer and guitarist's weird-sounding name and he corrects them on how to say it, and when they ask him how he knows he sighs and says "He told me." Somewhere in here there is a discussion about some gum or candy that you're supposed to chew if you're freaking out or having a bad trip. I remember that but not the visual of it. Then my dad and I are at a movie theater seeing some movie I can't remember anything about and it switched back to Hank, now in a flashback, walking around awkwardly at a concert or rave of some kind. He meets some young guy that turns out to be that musician who tells him how to say his name, then some weird "secret code" used in the gay community (I think specifically involving politics, which was definitely not real and very bizarre sounding, though I don't quite remember it). He walks off past John Redcorn who is on acid or something and freaking out, and he sees Hank but clearly isn't sure whether or not he's actually there and he says to himself "Where is that candy!?" Back at the theater, the movie's starting and my dad tells me more about the secret gay political codes claiming that the guy told him (I guess carried over from Hank) and I'm like "Uh-huh...." >_> Then back at the concert, John Redcorn is chewing on some of that bad trip candy and looks really happy, and he sees Hank again and they talk and he says he'll help Hank get out of there, because I guess he's lost somehow. Once again back at the theater, my dad is still going on and on more in-depth about these secret codes, and I'm like, seriously, I'm trying to watch the frickin' movie. >_____> And that was it lol.

Whew, that took a while to type up! At least a I was able to recall a lot, though.

I'm pretty sure I was having some interesting adventures all night, but I really only remember the end of my dream that happened before I originally woke up in the morning. Fortunately, I fell asleep and woke up again a few more times before actually getting out of bed, so I have a good few dreams recalled.

#1 - Looking After Moe's Ice [Non-Lucid]

I'm hanging out with Penny from The Big Bang Theory in a huge house, and also a friend of mine, S, but he's off taking shower so he's not really in the dream yet. I'm supposed to be looking after a bag of ice and a cat for Moe from The Simpsons on the second floor bathroom, so I go up there and start grab the bag, but then the ice slips out! I'm panicking because I don't want the ice to melt on the floor, and I can hear Moe talking from downstairs so I'm afraid he's about to come up and find out that I screwed up. I hear footsteps on the stairs, but then it just turns out to be K and O coming over to hang out with us. S gets out of the shower and the four of us all sit down on the bathroom floor (I think S was taking a shower in a different bathroom, but I'm not entirely certain....) and eat some popcorn we just pulled out of nowhere, and we start making plans for what to do for the night, but then I wake up.

Fragment - I'm hanging out with M and maybe N, and we're thinking about getting really drunk and they're talking about setting me up on a date with someone. We were all sitting outside at some restaurant table while this was happening, but that's all I remember about it.

#2 - Attempting To Get Drunk With Dianeva [Non-Lucid]

This started out at my house with O and J having come over to hang out. Apparently Dianeva and her family were visiting the US and they were going to be near where I live, so she was going to come over to hang out. In the meantime I decided to go swimming until she got here. I was in the pool for a little bit, but then it started raining really hard so I got out. When I went back inside there was a full-blown party going, just a family party but with a LOT of people at it. My parents had already let Dianeva in at the front door so I went and met her. We started talking and I gave her a short tour of the house, though I tried to hurry through it to get to the most important aspects, "Here's where we keep the beer." and "Here's where we keep the liquor." We grabbed some drinks and started heading out to the living room but there was an enormous crowd of people out there, including my mom, watching a movie or something. I told her we could go talk in my room with O and J and it'd be much more chill, so we went back there but when we got there it was completely filled with people, too, also watching a movie I think, and including my dad. I felt embarrassed because I didn't realize they would all be back there and we had just kind of barged in, so I introduced Dianeva to everyone (first as Dianeva, then her real name). We walked back out to the living room and weren't quite sure what to do, and Dianeva kind of sighed and went to lean against a couch. I went up to my mom and tried to get her attention to ask her why there were so many people here but she kept ignoring me. People were noticing that I was becoming a little pissed and started joking that I was trying to ask her "a hacker question". Finally I got mad and said "Fine, I'll talk to dad instead!" and stormed off into the kitchen (despite the fact that I just saw him in my bedroom), and then the power went out and I said "That works, too." >_> It came back on in a second and I turned around and went back to my parents' bathroom to find him (still forgetting about my bedroom) and found him smoking a joint with an invisible man. I could hear the man talking faintly, but that's it. It kind of distracted me from the issue at hand, and I looked in the mirror and noticed a vest, or something like that, floating above where the invisible man was (but only in the mirror). I reached my hand out awkwardly trying to imagine where his hand might be so we could shake and I'd introduce myself to him, but a strange force pulled me forward and apparently through him, and there was some dimensional shift and suddenly I could see him and not my dad, and the vest was floating above where my dad was in the mirror. And then that was it for that one.

Fragment - It's third-person, and I'm watching Ted and the rest of the How I Met Your Mother gang sitting at their booth at MacLaren's Pub in the normal in-show camera angle perspective. Ted is just talking to the rest of them about wanting to get married (and he's sitting on the end, the chair instead of one of the booths) and it all seems surprisingly normal, except that his drink is a mug filled with pancake batter and blueberries.

#3 - Open Your Eyes [Non-Lucid]

I have a very bizarre feeling that my eyes were actually open during this dream. I'm supposed to be heading over to N's apartment to smoke weed with him but he hasn't told me to come over yet (he lives about 30-45 minutes away depending on traffic), so I decide to go over already and just not knock on the door yet, and then when he says I should start heading over I can be like "Alright, I'll be there in a sec!" When I was just waiting around in his parking lot he was texting me about how saltyseedog was on the news for making some groundbreaking discovery about the relationship between dream time and waking time. But I woke up before I could get any more information about that. But what's interesting is this entire dream was sort of... transparent. Almost like it only existed because I was thinking about it, but I still wasn't aware of that. (But I guess that's how it actually is. ) But the entire time I kept having the incredibly confusing sensation that I was lying in bed, and I could actually see myself in bed through my normal first-person perspective. When I actually woke up, it felt like the dream just faded away, and what I saw was the same image I had been seeing the whole time.

So that was cool.... Not a bad night, if I do say so myself!

Well, I tried not taking my melatonin tonight in the hopes that my insomnia would come back forcing me to wake up tons of times all night and remember a ridiculous amount of dreams, but instead I slept just as well (almost even better) than normal and all it did was make my dreams less vivid. Oh well, I still became lucid, but I didn't get to use it as well as I would have hoped.... I'm actually becoming a little concerned about my DILDs, I'm afraid that they're starting to become less exciting to the point that I just don't even pay much attention to my lucidity, it's like I'm aware that I'm dreaming but I just let my non-lucid mind keep doing its thing. Maybe I'm just being paranoid though, I'll give it a few more lucids to say for sure....

#1 - DC Mod Practice [DILD]

There was some very long and strange dream leading up to this point, but I only remember brief flashes of it. Part of it involved being in this gigantic building that was also several of my old friends' houses combined. I vaguely remember being in the part that was D's house, something involving E with a sword (a katana, I think) that magically spilled oil and they were mad that we'd have to clean it up, and J's family being pissed that they had to come home to check on us. Or something like that.... Anyway, eventually I went out the front of the building, which at some point turned into a school, so now I was in the school parking lot. I was with this guy A and this girl M who I went school with, and I guess I was giving them both a ride home (I very vaguely remember a conversation about it) so we were looking for my car. We went to the left side of the school (from the inside looking out) and passed through a garden of really psychedelic-looking flowers to a back part of the parking lot but didn't see it, so I went back around to the right side of the school to look there. While there, I actually saw myself in the distance with K, N, and I think O, and we were all standing by my car. I started walking over there but but by the time I got there it vanished. :T There's a point in my memory here that's fuzzy, and I think this is where I became lucid because I don't actually remember that part, I just remember being non-lucid and then suddenly being lucid. Like I said though, my lucidity level was very low so I didn't really think to try to work toward any of my goals. (Well, except the sex one, I guess. ) First I flew back to the front of the school, then started going up to random cars and opening doors and trying to modify the DCs. I went up to some ridiculously fat man (gotta be at least 500+ lbs) and said I was going to change him into a skinny girl. I grabbed his arm and he visually vanished but I could still feel him and I felt him changing into the girl, but then I got distracted and went to the next car. I tried another one hoping it wouldn't vanish, I saw a guy through a car window and opened the door expecting him to be female when I did, and it sort of worked but she was really blurry, I don't actually remember any features of her now. The next car I went to had a cute guy in it so I started trying to do something sexual. I honestly don't remember quite what it was though.... I think the dream was falling apart at this point. I do remember the guy just stared at me, and then I noticed a group of girls also in the back of the car with him, and thought briefly about the oddity that there were so many people in the back of this tiny car, but then I woke up.

#2 - Reminiscing [Non-Lucid]

I have very little memory of this one, except that for some reason I had to become a ball and roll down a long tunnel of dark patterened squares so that I ended up in some kiddie restaurant with a playground in it, where I ran into an old friend of mine I haven't seen in years. We hugged and walked off and reminisced about one time we were in that restaurant smoking some really good cigarettes together, which never happened.

So tonight was pretty interesting, first I became a TV character, then a model, and then I accidentally had my first WILD. I only wish I could remember more of the second dream, stupid false awakenings! And stupid me for not doing RCs!!

#1 - Possessing Penny [Non-Lucid]

I think there might have been a brief moment of lucidity in this one, but I'm going to list it as Non-Lucid because I'm not totally sure. It started out with me at a study group with Leonard and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and a couple random guys, we were individually doing these textbook assignments and obviously they were doing way better than me. I was embarrassed to be doing so badly so I put down my notepad and picked up my two (absolutely gigantic) binders and went to pick up a small pile of clothes I'd apparently brought with me as well, but I dropped them all because I was hurrying too much and ran out the front door (we were in some fancy house). Through the windows it had been nighttime outside, but on the outside it was daytime, and also I didn't notice this at the time but now that I think about it the second I got outside there was no sign of any house anywhere, we were by like my elementary school playground. Leonard followed me outside and at this point I became Penny! I was aware of the change, which I never am in normal dreams. Things got really vivid at this point, so I think I actually became lucid when I realized that was happening, but after that I went back to non-lucid but was still really excited about the transformation. Leonard started asking me what's wrong. He was crying and I started calling him Sheldon but I knew it was wrong, and then he corrected me saying it was Isaac. I gave him some excuse like I had a spirit trapped inside me or something, to get away with being Penny without having to know whatever she should know in that situation, and he asked me if I still knew that it was 1993, and I said yes, though I was still lying. (Also, 1993...?) I walked around people playing some sports and was just excited to be Penny, but after that I woke up.

#2 - You're My Angel [Non-Lucid]

I remember very little about this dream so it's basically a fragment, but only because of false awakenings. What I do remember is that I was some absolutely gorgeous and pretty tan woman, the way I thought of it at the time was I looked like a Victoria's Secret model. I was wearing some cute yellow bikini, and I was sitting at my computer warning people about the hacked DV. There was definitely more to it than that, but I had a false awakening where I wrote it down so I forgot some of the details, then ANOTHER false awakening where I wrote it down and forgot even more, so by the time I actually woke up that's all I had left.

#3 - Accidental First WILD [WILD]

I was lying in bed not really intending to fall back asleep after the last dream, so I stayed there awake for a bit but then I started to zone out and drift off a bit. Out of nowhere a dream scene formed around me almost instantaneously. There was a song playing somewhere in the background of my mind, and then I was in my parents' bedroom but there were a few tables set up by the bed that aren't normally there and some of my family members were walking around. Next to me were my cousins P and G, but they looked a few years younger than they are now. Everything was extremely vivid, basically indistinguishable from real life. I just thought to myself "Okay, this is interesting...." P and G were playing a game of Clue, I watched them for a minute and then P looked at me and said "Hey, how're you doing in the closet?" to which I responded "Good...?" I was a little caught off guard and didn't really try to stabilize or retain lucidity. I heard the song from the beginning start playing really loudly but still distantly again, and then the dream collapsed and I woke up into sleep paralysis. I didn't really realize what was going on though, I was hallucinating and my eyes were open so there was lots of confusing stimuli. I was getting a third-eye type visual of myself typing up the dream in my phone but I wasn't sure if I was actually doing it. Around my room I could see that my wall proportions were extremely distorted, the room looked almost triangular, and the light was quickly switching between nighttime and daytime. I could see one of my pillows hanging off the bed (which it actually wasn't) and it was covered in large piano keys. It was all incredibly weird, but then I woke up fully and realized I hadn't actually typed up the dream yet, so I got up and did that.

Hold on a sec.... If I had done a reality check when I was typing the dream in sleep paralysis, would I have been able to re-enter a lucid dream with my eyes open!?

But anyway, that's it for that night. Pretty interesting if I do say so myself, even if not incredibly detailed.

#1 - This Is What Pikachu Is! [Non-Lucid]

There was something going on in the dream up to this point, but this is where my memory picks up. I was standing outside and there was a kid disguised as Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh! standing high up on a tree branch. I started talking to him and he asked me if I liked Yu-Gi-Oh! and I was saying I've been a fan before, and he transformed me into Kaiba and gave me a duel disk. I think part of me didn't believe this was actually happening, but I wanted to draw my hand so I closed my eyes to imagine the duel disk being there and did it, and I felt the cards between my fingers. I think closing my eyes is where things went wrong here. When I opened them again, I was myself and I was sitting on the ground dueling this kid with our cards just on the floor and no duel disks. This kid seemed so normal when I talked to him before, but now he was acting really childish and unstable, and he seemed to have an obsession with Pichu (the Pokémon). >.> He had a big Pichu doll and picked it up and ran into the corner of the room and embraced it in the fetal position. He started repeatedly yelling "This is what Pikachu is! This is what Pikachu is!!" I looked down and noticed that both his deck and the deck he gave me consisted almost entirely of Pokémon cards with a few Yu-Gi-Oh! cards here and there. I looked at my hand specifically, six cards. The first two were Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, of Pichu. And the last four were Pokémon cards, also of Pichu. -_- A guy, J, I used to know shows up to watch the duel and tells me that we're apparently at some after school event, and a girl I recognize but I can't remember where from goes over and tries to calm the kid down. And that was it.

Fragment - There was something about Phantasy Star Online somewhere in here (third-person control as if I was the character), but I can't remember anything else about it.

#2 - Did The Dream Change For You Too? [DILD]

Outside some diner, my friends D, O, and I are getting into my car and it's being robbed by two men (and maybe a woman?) and we stop them, but they end up coming after me with knives but I kill them in self-defense... or at least, one of them. If there was a woman then I killed her too, but one of the men survived and got away. This part of the dream is really hazy and hard to remember. We get warped to some huge department store (it looks kind of like a Sam's Club) fused with a library (I interpret it as the library from a University close to where I live that some of my friends go to). An old friend, N, is there so O and I go sit down by him after noticing some really shady looking guys working at the store that I think may be connected to the robber who got away. Suddenly, a voice comes on on the overhead speakers calling me out specifically by reading a letter, but I didn't listen to it. I noticed that the call was coming from one of the shady guys using a walkie-talkie-like thing, and I went jumping up and down (like several feet ) around the isles to taunt him and make it really obvious that I know it's him. I go and sit down next to D (where O and N were a minute ago) and ask him what the letter said, but then a girl walks out from behind the shady guy and says it was her letter, and reads it again. She says that the robbers I killed (the man and woman) were her parents and now she's challenging me so she can get revenge. I say that it's them who attacked me and it's their own fault, but I won't deny her a fight. I walk up to the back wall with D and everyone vanishes on the way, and I stop to look at a bunch of purple posters on the back wall. There's a very strange perspective change, the posters vanish and suddenly things get really vivid. I had an unbelievably brief moment of lucidity here, and said "The dream just changed...." Then things got a little fuzzier and I turned to D and said "Did the dream change for you, too?" He stares at me with a really creepy smile, and I blast off toward the ceiling. I'm bouncing off all the walls at extreme speeds and there's a black line being drawn behind me to follow my path. I remember feeling like this line being drawn was expanding my consciousness to infinity and I assume that I'm on some drug now, but then I woke up.

Welp, I had two lucids last night! My recall was kind of crappy because of smoking weed during the day, which I'm definitely taking a break from again because it's negatively effecting my dreaming. :T But I did smoke calea too right before bed and that increased the vividness of what I do remember, so at least there's that. Before falling asleep, I started off the night with some meditation, and I tried to push the idea into my head that I would be lucid and that I was looking for Link, preferably at school. I'm not sure how much progress I made on the latter since there are a few dreams I can't remember at least. :\ But at least the former worked!

#1 - Return Of The Mall School [Non-Lucid]

This one starts out at a mall school, a thing I usually often get in dreams where gigantic malls are interpreted as schools (with individual stores as classrooms and stuff like that), but actually haven't had in quite a while now. I see this one annoying kid from high school walking around and want to avoid him so I go into the bathroom. While I'm there I think I have to pee, but I decide not to. I remember that I'm supposed to be leaving school with M so I walk out and see this girl L and another girl who's hazy in my memory talking about me. I suddenly start sliding on the floor, something which I've noticed I've been doing a lot lately in dreams, like I'll purposefully slide myself on the ground and ride the slide over some really long distance as if it's just some normal thing to do, and I even have good steering during it. So I do that and end up over at Barney from How I Met Your Mother, and I think I became Robin at this point. (And I just realized that we're in a mall, which is funny if you watch the show. ) We just start making jokes and walk out of the mall school and end up at my car, and we get in to drive off but then the dream starts fading and I wake up.

#2 - Hunted Down [DILD]

This one is rather bizarre. Though some of it seems almost first-person at times, I'm pretty sure the whole thing was actually third-person. So there are these two guys on a plane, and the plane crashes into a cloud (yes, a cloud) that turns out to actually be a mirror that was just floating and reflecting other clouds. Both guys jump out of the plane trying to hit the water below (they're flying over the ocean or something, but there are also lots of glaciers and the like, so maybe around Antarctica?). One of the guys hits the ice too hard though and doesn't make it. The other guy is swimming around in the freezing water and then someone comes down and is scouting for them, which makes the guy think that this was no accident and they were being hunted. So the guy starts acting like he's dead and just floating in the water, and he almost gets away with it but then the scout figures him out, so he jumps out of the water and starts running forward with the guy chasing after him with a gatling gun. Suddenly the scene changes back the mall school's food court, and the scout is firing like crazy but the guy easily dodges it all and people standing around are stunned. Then I think the dream started falling apart because I'm back at home, but still third-person but without anyone to see, my perspective is just quickly bouncing around my living room. I became lucid during this part, which was very odd. I remember thinking something about games in relation to what was going on... but unfortunately that's the least vivid part of the dream in my memory because after that I had a false awakening where I managed to write down every single part leading up to that, then woke up for real and had to write the first part down again out of fear I would forget it so the lucid part became really hazy.

Must. Start. Doing. RCs.

#3 - Reconnecting With Old Friends [DILD]

This one is practically a fragment, but I did become lucid for it. I remember watching people playing video games in my house, and then I noticed that our old cat Karma was there. She disappeared (died most likely, she was really old) when I was in like second grade I think, and I really missed her. She also seemed younger than I ever saw her and maybe meshed with some properties of Miu, our most recent cat but who also disappeared around a year and a half ago. They really were similar in some ways and my mom frequently accidentally called her Karma. I really felt like they were both there again in this one dream cat and I became lucid when I felt their presence, so I just pet her for a minute and played around with her until something else grabbed my attention and I lost lucidity. I don't really remember what happened after that, but I really enjoyed this dream anyway.

Fragment - Waiting to hang out with J but at my house, though I remember walking up the staircases at his apartment complex....

So that's it for this night. I'm not going to smoke any weed today, so hopefully I'll remember more tonight!