The Nomad Chronicles

I make trees grow out from Castle Cannabis terraforming Mars in the shape of LOL. I laugh heartily at the sight. The Care Bears frolic in the trees. I laugh so hard, I feel I am almost mocking myself. Strange this third person dream thing.

Hmm....

Ah yes. The Cannabis Commandments. I grab a grey slab of rock and a black stone, and scrawl thusly:

1) Everybuddy must get stoned.

2) Just kidding. You can do whatever you want. Except, no harming the... anything. that's about it. yeah. that's it. Have fun!

I swing the slab around like a discus and aim it at a mountain so my words will be forever engraved, and toss the slab! The slab disintegrates, turning to dust. I shrug.

The aliens, well, native Martians, (not native to the planet, but living there a long time) fly around in saucers and blast the crap out of my slab.) Then, I turn into a Minotaur and run away. The aliens catch me in tractor beam. I decide I am going to mess with them. I let them beam me aboard. The put light beam straps around me, and put me on a table. I make myself smaller, breaking the contact with the light beams. Then, I teleport off the table, summon a trident and roar.

Little aliens appear from the ceiling on silver cords like a spider's web, hanging upside down. They shoot weird guns at me, like web. I stomp my hoof, and they all fall to the ground.

***

Suddenly I am playing myself in a video game. It's 1985. I am in Tacoma, playing a coin-op video game/pinball machine. You have to get the Minotaur out of a maze on the CRT screen. The pinball part is the aliens. The ball gets stuck in the machine. The spaceship rocks.

I vibrate at a higher frequency. I bash myself into the sides of the ship.

This time I am a skinny dude in my 20's looking like I am 16. I am playing Guantlet Legends. I am the Warrior. I am slaying orcs. WTF IS GOING ON DON JUAN.

don Juan's hollow laughter rings throughout the dream. I am suddenly in misty swamp.

I see the wall of the Castle of Morpheus.

NO! don Juan shouts as if reading my thoughts.

"On the other side of that wall... is NOTHING.'

"That's exactly what I want."

"Liar, we all have desire."

"I am curious to see what nothing feels like."

"It's beyond your comprehension, you fool."

I run toward the wall. The closer I get, the farther away and larger the wall gets. If I walk away, it gets tinier. So tiny the size of a pin, I realize there is no way in. THAT WALL. damn, you wall.

Suddenly, I am ripped into another dimension. I feel like all my atoms are being smashed to bits. I scream, but the scream is the sound of my matter being blasted apart. Each particle of me get smashed into smaller and smaller particles, until some are so tiny, so close to zero, it's terrifying. But, I can never get to zero, just as I can never get to infinity, for it's all within we.

Suddenly golden cloudly animals dance across my vision...

a giraffee.. a warthog... a baboon...

I wake up... those are not clouds, those are animals kicking up dust in the Savanna. I am at once a tall African hunter and a lion. I smash the dreams together and make myself a were-lion.

I tell don Juan I am done, and lie down to sleep.

I am on the Moon. don Juan is there.

You just drank DREAM KAVA, FOOL. IT'S 1000X stronger in dreams. I told you. You wouldn't listen.

"I had a terrific experience."

Don't you see? Dream drugs are as real as Dream Characters.... unless you get them from a dream plant, because those my friend are real. They are literally ALIVE.