The Nomad Chronicles

I am with Kaomea at Waikiki School. We are about 10 years old. We are at recess. We are sitting across from each other playing this chanting game called "Numbers." I mess it up. She corrects me.

I AM NOT GOING TO PLAY THIS STUPID GIRL GAME ANYMORE!

I get and fly to the basket ball court. I grab the basketball from the other kids and fly away with it. The kids jump and wave their hands at me, shouting for me to give it back. I slam it into a basket, and in bounces up really hard.

HAHA TWO POINTS.

Kaomea says I am not being very nice, and TK's the ball out of my hands. I make it burst into flames, and turn into ash and laugh.

NOMAD, DON'T BE A LITTLE BRAT!

I turn into a rabbit, and shake my tail at her, then kick dirt in her direction. She puts her hands on her hips, and stomps her foot. I open a portal and jump in.

She grabs my tail, and it becomes long like a kangaroo tail. We end up in my Inner World. NeverWonderHell.

She turns into a cat and pounces on me. I kick her off. She scratches my ear and it bleeds.

OW!

SORRY SORRY SORRY

I don't care. I AM INVINCIBLE!

I turn into a Donnie Darko Rabbit, and grow bat wings. She looks terrified, yet fascinated.

Why don't you ride on my back?

I crouch down. She turns back into a young girl, and hesitantly climbs on to my back. HOLD ON HAHAHA!

I fly to the volcano on my island. We swirl around the crater. There are demons in a circle chanting.

What are you doing, Nomad?

We are going to DIVE IN!

NO!

YES!

I dive into the lava.

We go through a thin layer of lava, about one inch, and are in a secret cavern in the volcano.... Kinda like the Batcave, but the NomadCave.

We land on a large platform.

NOMAD THAT WAS NOT NICE.

Well, look, now you're in my secret Lair. Don't you think it's cool?

Why do you have a giant penny? That makes no sense.

I thought it would be funny.

Ok... Oh! Cool Costumes!

She looks at the different "costumes" in glass.

They are not costumes, Kaomea, it's armor.

Cool! Can I try one on? I like that green robot one that kind of look's like Poison Ivy's costume!

It's actually biorganic mech armor.

Huh? What does that mean?

It's a plant based living robotic armor that enhances every physical thing you do in dreams, and encases you in an earth energy armor that heals itself. But, be careful because...

Kaomea greedily opens the case and puts the armor on.

NO WAIT!

The armor grows and wraps itself around her.

Nomad... I feel like a tree... a banyan tree... mourning... angry vines... thorns... poison... ancient rage...

She screams in terror and delight as hot white bluish light shoots out of her eyes.

The armor grows roots into the floor of the cave, and sucks water in from the ambient air.

I NEED LIGHT! she roars.

I flip on a bunch of UV lights.

Kaomea calms down, and returns to normal. She walks around and feels the armor. Hmm... I like this! Let me borrow it!

You can have it. I can make more.

Really? Kaomea gives me a hug. It feels plant-y.

Listen, this armor is special, but it's also alive. It needs sun, earth, and water. There is a special fungal armor I made you can wear at night. This armor works better during the day. The fungal armor works better at night.

Oh, I see. Fungus? Gross but cool. Let me see it.

I spin the case around.

There is a black suit, like a wetsuit, but much thinner. It has glowing spots on it moving around.

Whoah...!

Listen, now. There is glowing and black fungus encased in this armor. This will make you invisible against the night sky. Also you can dim the glowing fungus to the point you can't see it, making you like a shadow.

Turn up the light fungus to deflect attacks, and the black fungus to absorb attacks. Something special about this fungus armor:

You can turn the energy it absorbs into any kind of energy you want.

This armor is alive, and it needs food water, and darkness. Keep it out of the sunlight.

So, now you have a day armor and a night armor. Here is a special box for the Fungus Armor. The Plant Armor will fit in this pot on a windowsill when you are not using it.

At dusk and dawn you can wear both, but try not to wear either too long at the wrong time.

I can take you to the Danger Room so you can explore your armor and how it works.

***

Kaomea puts on the Fungus Armor. I turn off the UV lights. The Armor glows and darkens with her will. She appears as a shadow in the darkness, then is a ghostly blue, grinning at me.

SHOOT SOMETHING AT ME, NOMAD.

I shoot a small ball of light energy at her. She bounces it back, and I eat it.

COOL! Take me to the training room thingy!

I teleport us to the Danger Room. I leave her there, and then teleport to the Control Room.

"Your Plant Armor is in your pocket. If you choose to use it, just will it."

Uh, what do I do Nomad?

FIGHT!

Enter Scenario: Zombie Wasteland

Kamoea is in a zombie wasteland. Hordes of zombies come at her. She shoots dark and light energy at the zombies, cutting them in half. The top halves squirm around, they jaws moving, crawling toward her.

She changes into the Plant Armor. She grows a pod on her head. It bursts open, and smaller pods come out, rolling toward the zombies. Flesh eating beetles burst out of the small pods and burrow into the zombies' heads eating their brains.

Kaomea laughs maniacally.

SCENARIO COMPLETE.

Enter Scenario: Infiltration

What am I supposed to do?

Kaomea is on a snowy mountain near a base. She looks down at her watch, and hits a button. A hologram of me appears and explains her mission: Infiltrate the base, and rescue the prisoner.

Kaomea puts on her Fungus Armor, and becomes like a shadow. She teleports around the outside of the base, killing all the guards with a small knife.

I see her scanning the base. She makes herself really tiny and sneaks past the guards. She pulls the fire alarm, and they run outside. They see the dead guys and freak out. She finds the prisoner being interrogated. It's a young man that is wearing what is left of a suit in a chair, tied up, while two soldiers torture him.

I AM NOT A TERRORIST!

JUST ADMIT THE TRUTH, AND THE PAIN WILL STOP.

They stretch one of his eyelids open, and threaten to drop lye into his eyeball.

NO NO NO!

Kaomea extends an limb like Mr. Fantastic flattening her hand like a big paddle, to protect the lye from dropping into the man's eye. She then smacks the guy in the face with her paddle-arm.

KANAK ATTACK!

I laugh my ass off.

Then, she makes the paddle's edge like a knife, and cuts his head off. The other guy backs away in fright. Shark teeth pop out of the edge of the paddle, and now move around the edge like a chainsaw's chain. She growls gutturally, and says something in Hawaiian. She sounds like a demon.

The other guard backs up against the wall. She pounces on him, turning into a were-shark, and bites his head off, and spits it on the ground.

She roars, morphing into different Hawaiian animals. Then she turns into a pure Lemurian Alien.

WTF? Abort Scenario.

Kaomea is floating in the center of the empty Danger Room. She is speaking to me in some alien language. She bursts through the roof of the Danger Room, and flies through a portal. I grab her ankle, and follow her.

She growls at me in the alien language. She doesn't want me to follow her. I do anyway.

We pop out the other side of the wormhole on the Mu planet.

The people there are tall blue glowing people with large eyes and small mouths. They have long tails, and are long limbed. They have huge webbed feet, and their legs are like a goat's. They have faint green dots in two vertical rows on their forehead.

They ask me what I am doing there. I said I followed my friend. They say Atlanteans are not welcome here. They open a portal behind me, and TK blast me into it.

I fall back into the wormhole, but I form a spider web behind me which bounces me back through.

They are talking to Kaomea now, telling her to stay away from my ilk. She looks confused. I tell her to ignore these assholes, and I grab her hand to take her back.

No, Nomad, these are my people.

I roll my eyes. See you later! I guess I am too Atlantean for these Mu snobs. I don't even know what that shit means!!! PEACE!

I make a portal to my Inner World, and sit on a mountain alone. I roll up a joint. I smoke it and think.... looking around at the flowers and trees. I gaze across the sea to my volcano island.

I view Kaomea's dream. The aliens are training her, and teaching her their culture.

Someone accuses her of being impure, then they kick her out of their dream planet. She falls out of the sky into my Inner World.

"Oh, Nomad, some of those aliens are fucking assholes."

"Haha! Let's eat."

We sit down and eat some fish, poi, and bananas. She eats some kalua pig, and offers it to me. No, I don't eat pigs.

Oh.

Cool dream!

We hi-5, and the dream fades to black.