The Nomad Chronicles

I fall out of a portal... on to a familiar looking plain at the edge of a forest. There is a castle in front of me. On the drawbridge are a bunch of cheesy DC shadow ogres. They grimace at me. I step forward, and slicing them all in half with a finger laser shout: NONE OF YOU ARE REAL.

I leap over the wall, and land in the courtyard. There is a tower I must climb. I stick my ninja fist thingies in the wall and climb up, and into a window.

There is a beautiful blond girl waiting there. It's Angel. Oh, I dyed my hair for this adventure.

Xaphor pokes his head in the window.

"But first you must defeat me!"

I close the blind on his head, and kiss my hot girlfriend.

There was something about gold or treasure? Rumpelstiltskin?

A red devil-boy appears and says, "No, that's not how you do it!"

I shrug, and kiss Angel some more.