Blue_Opossum

Morning of February 27, 2016. Saturday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and I are sitting in a parked car in an unknown large parking lot in an unknown area. I am on the left in the front seat, and America is possibly implied as the location. There are only a few buildings around, most in the distance. Still, consciously relative to our present home, I feel that the car is northeast of our home, facing north. It seems to be late afternoon. The sky is bright blue with a few white clouds. There are a few odd partial contrails in the sky, sparsely scattered, that are like truncated C shapes. There seems to be a vague awareness that military activities, mostly related to aircraft, are occurring somewhere in the region. I puzzle over this but I am not concerned about it or wary.

Eventually, I notice a man high in the sky who is piloting a biplane hang glider. At first, he seems to know what he is doing, but at one point, the longer I watch, he seems to be falling (almost as if I am willing him to by subliminal expectation). He comes closer and closer to our car and eventually crashes onto the parking lot, sliding from left to right, hitting the left side of the front of our car with a hard metallic sound and resulting in the feeling of the car briefly moving.

I get out of our car and look to see a number of pieces of the hang glider strewn over the immediate area. At least three of the wings are mostly whole. The male is sitting on the parking lot to the left of our car, about two feet in front of it, with his knees up. I stand to his left about three feet away. He does not look injured at all. I ask him if he is okay and he looks at me as if I am an idiot. (It does seem very unlikely that he did not get hurt or even killed, but he does seem okay.)

Another male is eventually present who seems to be his companion (though he had apparently not been hang gliding) who stands to his right. There are thoughts of whether or not he used a kit to build the biplane hang glider himself or bought it commercially already made. Perhaps he made a mistake in building it, though this is uncertain.

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Morning of February 26, 2016. Friday.



It is morning. My family and I are living in our house as it is now, though there is seemingly much more floor space, especially in the southwest area of our house where our bed would otherwise be. Our youngest children are playing and walking around. I soon notice a miniature lion, which follows them around. This “lion” is only about the size of our youngest daughter. Even so, it soon opens its mouth very wide and somehow swallows our youngest daughter in one movement. I am at first only vaguely startled by this otherwise impossible visual, though because of subliminal awareness of being in the dream state, my dream resets.

In my reset dream, I start to consider that it is not a very intelligent idea to have a miniature lion running around when they could just swallow someone in one gulp. I start to question why such an animal would even be available to have as a pet. Our daughter is swallowed “again” and I sense it will next swallow our son even though our son is about twice its size. Again, my dream resets so that this event did not “actually” occur. I consider getting rid of the lion before it does “actually” happen, though only after several resets. I may chase it outside through the back door. Instead, my dream fades.

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A lion, even a miniature one as here, is an emergent consciousness factor (ECF) of RAS (reticular activating system) modulation. Its autosymbolic purpose is that it swallows the illusory dynamics of the dream state into rational whole consciousness (coalescence) in a similar way as white blood cells swallow and digest solid foreign matter. Dreams are reset like this when consciousness reascension is much slower, sustaining liminal space, indicated in this case by the absence of our bed with the emergent consciousness sentinel in its place.

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Morning of February 18, 2016. Thursday.



In my dream, I seem to be in an area that is loosely modeled after my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978, yet my dream self sees it as my present home), at least regarding the large backyard and the railroad tracks behind it (to the east) but there are differences. It seems to be late at night and yet there are short time periods where I can clearly see the covers of books. On at least two occasions, I also notice unknown trucks parked in what would be the backyard.

I go near the railroad tracks and notice a shallow cardboard box filled with old How and Why Wonder Books that appears to have been put out by an unknown neighbor farther south, but the majority do not look like any of the ones I had in real life as a boy. However, “Coins and Currency”, which is one I did have, is near the top, but the cover is very worn. There are other books in the box in addition to the How and Why Wonder Books, including magazines and comic books. I think about taking them, as they had been discarded. Still, it is an unusual place to put presumed rubbish, as there is no pick up there (or rather, never was in real life) other than for the train to collect and take to the dump as my dream self reasons. A lifelong dream-related focus of a train taking large amounts of possibly valuable refuse to a landfill (or sometimes a warehouse where it is apparently sorted), usually northward, is a curious recurring theme.

I am on the railroad tracks for a time (remaining on the west side of them) but I am aware that a train is approaching from the south. I feel the vibrations and expect it to be carrying a lot of printed materials to a landfill, which enhances my curiosity about possibly attaining interesting books. Oddly, it turns out to be one boxcar moving down the track (with no discernible method of locomotion). It passes me, but when it starts to go through a tunnel (not a real-life feature) on the opposite side of our backyard, to the north, it somehow gets jammed in. I am somehow able to move it back out, as it seems very light. It falls off the railroad tracks directly into the living room of the house, which establishes consciously unresolvable ambiguity as to whether I am in an outdoor or indoor setting. (In real life, there was considerable distance from the railroad tracks to the house.)

I see various books inside the boxcar, which now seems only about half the size it had been previously. It is not only very light but starts to bend slightly, like thin aluminum. I notice a “Tom and Jerry” storybook with perhaps one small black and white drawing per page. I also notice two Nancy and Sluggo comic strip collections in book form. There are still a number of other books inside the boxcar as I tip it upside-down, some of the contents spilling onto the living room floor.

Two unknown men eventually appear and it seems as if they had been moving the boxcar down the tracks even though they were not seen until this point. They seem puzzled about the details concerning the wreck. They are not angry and seem friendly as I tell them that I hope to keep what I want from the boxcar. I even offer to pay for the contents (only because they showed up and I do not want to be seen as a thief) and the man to my right gives me a puzzled look as if there would be no need. (In the last stage, there is a vague sense of bilocation when the Cubitis living room is associated with the kitchen of our present home and the vague awareness of my real physical body in bed to my right, though there is also a vague awareness of one step leading up to it between the kitchen and where our bed is, a step or staircase symbolizing an increase of neural activity to eventually establish wakeful consciousness.)

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This dream seems to have been at least partly influenced by having reviewed and written about a childhood dream from 1967 (“Battle atop Boxes on a Boxcar”).

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A train is typically relevant to the dynamics of the dream state, not waking life. Here, it can be validated that I had threads of instinctual dreaming (unaware of being in a dream but still with influence and control). This is why my dream self was able to stop the boxcar (subliminally willing it to become stuck in the tunnel) and attain full control of it despite the size and weight. The preconscious and my emergent consciousness show up in the last scene as potential waking initiators, which is also unrelated to waking life as it is a common dream state component in case I indulge in a dream for too long (in which case the preconscious would become aggressive or more dominant, as waking up is a biological necessity).

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Resupplemented and minimally expanded on Thursday, 17 August 2017, due to seeing no evidence of public understanding of dreams or the dream state.

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Morning of February 16, 2016. Tuesday.



I am watching, while incorporeal, the adventures of two young males riding in a small boat in Loch Ness. There are other people around, but not as integrated into the events I am viewing. As the men travel over the lake, there is some sort of special imaging they are able to see which is related to a new kind of advanced technology. Other unseen characters are making this possible for them and they do not seem to be part of the research themselves. There is a sense of beauty as the bottom of Loch Ness is rendered in perfect detail, though all in one brighter color yet which seems to be different over time.

Soon, the flat fossilized remains of a huge pterodactyl are seen on the large screen. However, it seems as if I am moving over this rendered area (of the bottom of Loch Ness) in a bird’s eye view as well as with no implication of water, only the imagery of the lake bottom as I (or the imagery) slowly move ahead, somewhat like horizontal scrolling though with the seemingly correct size orientation (as if my incorporeal form is integrated into the technology itself or at least the end result of it). There is a vague awareness of the possibility of seeing the Loch Ness monster if it exists, but this does not occur. Over time, only unrealistically huge fossils are seen, mostly all of flying creatures. It seems amazing that mankind is now able to see everything at the bottom of Loch Ness and the two males are thrilled and grateful to the others who are making this possible (as, again, they seem like random members of the public who just happen to be in the right place at the right time).

A huge archaeopteryx fossil is also seen (possibly about a hundred times bigger than it would be in reality), and the focus probably remains on this section for the longest period. There are also a lot of similar fossils, one which is possibly the fossil of a giant (fictional) prehistoric flying snake. Curiously, again, there do not seem to be any fossils of swimming creatures anywhere on the lake bottom, or extinct lake denizens, mostly only the giant prehistoric birds and flying reptiles, some fossil sections touching mostly at wingtips. The mood remains very cheerful and satisfying even during the waking transition.

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Of course, this dream represents looking into the deepest recesses of memory at the deepest levels of mind to see things that were not as visible or detailed as before. The fact that they were only gigantic flying creatures relates to the “higher” ideas and memories (and with greater perspective) I think, which had originally “taken more in” from a more detailed “bird’s eye view” before becoming a part of my memories and dreams. This also fits in with my increased research of date-specific layers in dreams over time. On February 16, 1970, there was a dream of a living archaeopteryx (only about the size of a chicken in this case and remaining on the south side of my room) in my bedroom in Cubitis, which was influenced by an image in an old book (which my mother bought second-hand) on prehistoric animals.

Morning of February 14, 2016. Sunday.

Dream #: 17,954-05. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



In my dream, my wife Zsuzsanna and I are in a shed that may be a distorted version of our present home’s shed. There is also an unknown male character.

A trapdoor spider about four times bigger than a real one is near the doorway. It bites Zsuzsanna on her right knee, but she is soon a young version of the Erin Walton character (played years ago by Mary Beth McDonough), which puzzles my dream self in a way that alters my level of awareness.

The man holds her as she cries and sits down and he gives her an injection near her right knee with a hypodermic needle (a very rare dream prop for me), which contains the cure. It seems she will recover. I look in the doorway, and there stands the four-times-bigger trapdoor spider. I eventually understand that the spider is Kali. “She is the mighty aspect of the goddess Durga. The name of Kali means black one and force of time. She is therefore called the Goddess of Time, Change, Power, Creation, Preservation, and Destruction.” (Kali often has four arms and two legs, which makes her an “insect,” not a “spider.”)

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Zsuzsanna used to play with trapdoor spiders without knowing they were venomous (yet luckily was never bitten). Secondly, I associate Erin Walton with the petting of a deer (relating to a documentary feature about her that I saw years ago as well as the Waltons episode “The Fawn”), which was like a very similar image in a photograph Zsuzsanna sent me before we met of her feeding a deer.

Zsuzsanna’s right knee was miraculously healed (even though doctors said it could never be) when we first met and shared meditations. Although there are other layers, two are interesting and fit perfectly. One is a ghost story related to Kali as a demonic living statue (though I no longer have that comic book). On Thursday, February 14th, 1974, I saw “The Waltons” episode “The Ghost Story.” “Strange things are occurring at the Walton home. The family uses a Ouija board to ask questions about the happenings. A small boy staying at the home is to leave to meet his father. Things happen to prevent this.” The original newspaper summary: “John-Boy obtains a ‘spirit board’ which is reputed to foretell the future and to put its interrogators in touch with the psychic world. When the board appears to be delivering mysterious messages, Grandma and Olivia insist that the children stop playing with it.”

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The trapdoor spider in my dream seems associated with a Ouija board (which is dependent on the use of hands and which is what a spider also represents in some dreams in a negative context), also representing Kali, also representing “messages” in the liminal stages of sleep which have various transpersonal sources. Because my 1971 dream features doorway waking symbolism using Kali, it seems a relevant marker. On one level, it serves as a personal confirmation against so-called psychics, “dream interpreters,” or ideas from questionable sources.

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Morning of February 14, 2016. Sunday.



I climb a ladder through a trapdoor above me and into a small dimly-lit room with a number of gears that are presently not moving. I have a hammer (though I do not recall having climbed the ladder with it). The gears seem possibly jammed as well as rusty. Hammering them seems to not only remove some of the rust, but rather than breaking the gears, it seems to somehow add missing pieces (or teeth) back onto them.

The gears begin to move, more golden in appearance, the light in the room grows brighter, and I soon wake in mid-swing.

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This is about as obvious as waking symbolism can get (though subliminally self-initiated rather than with biological RAS activation). A ladder symbolizes rising in consciousness (waking). Using the hammer signifies becoming more aware of the nature of the real physical body (and kinetic energy metaphorically equating to neural energy - as something shaking or vibrating also symbolizes the waking state precursor), and of course gears turning relates to waking and more viably thinking. A room growing brighter also relates to dawning consciousness. Yellow and gold are emergent consciousness indicators (570–590 nm) as in being analogous to sunrise, though orange and red, in that order, increase waking priory.

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Morning of February 7, 2016. Sunday.



This dream, curiously enough, seems to be an offset “sequel” of one of several dreams of yesterday - “Unlikely Meteorite”. It mostly seems an unusual residual offset of the library scene just prior to the sighting of the anatomy chart. Even the same unknown female librarian is present (although she could be a version of my wife Zsuzsanna). This one makes more sense in a more discernible hypnopompic disclosure, when the meaning of a dream is more clearly revealed during the last stage of the waking transition.

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I find myself briefly thinking of a half-finished jigsaw puzzle that featured in “Unlikely Meteorite”. It was seemingly, as originally written, a simplified American clipper ship. However, I find myself in a transition where it simplifies into a modern sailboat. The librarian approaches as I look at the chart, which is now actually not a chart but some sort of three-dimensional model of a male human body encased in glass, similar to the “Visible Man” model kit but lifesize.

The lungs of the seemingly holographic model expand and slowly deflate, then expand again, though after a time, transform into the sails of a sailboat (and I also realize that I am probably “seeing” my own breathing during sleep). I realize that, being that a sailboat is an autosymbolic dream component that can either be a dream self induction (into the dream) or a waking self transition (out of a dream), that it is also a symbol for breathing, especially as a boat is an autosymbolic extension of the physical body (as subliminally perceived in REM sleep). Watching the unusual “sailboat lungs”, I enter a lesser state of waking self perception, visualizing a sailboat on a river (as a waking conduit) to return to my full conscious self - my even breathing carrying me peacefully from my dream, the sails and lungs filling with air, turning, and relaxing, breathing outwards. It almost feels like I “completed a jigsaw puzzle” (a puzzle being autosymbolism for the subliminally perceived ambiguity between fictional dream self and conscious self identity).

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Morning of February 5, 2016. Friday.

Dream #: 17,945-05. Reading time: 2 min 12 sec.



I communicate with unknown people. Some of them are arrangements of objects that are not in one cluster, but I still perceive them in human form at times. A table lamp on the floor, books in a bookshelf, and a table leg may equate one person. Even though they seem sentient, an unfamiliar female thinks this type of supposed human is without life and does not have the same rights or ability to communicate.

I quickly climb an unusual structure (vestibular system adaptation). I am atop a big cage. At this level, open enclosures are on each side with spaces from them. Beyond the gap on one side at ground level, is an oversized leopard. Its oblong spots are longer than on a real leopard and its coat more of a brownish tint. I have a concern it could jump up to get to me, and it does. I bite the back of its neck and push it off the top of the cage. As it goes tumbling off, it bounces into another big wild cat which makes it angry. That one also jumps up to eat me. I bite it and throw it off backward.

Two big wild cats come up, one from each side (through each gap on each side). The one on my left seems like a tiger. I somehow bite both of them on the back of the neck in a short time and push them off. I do not seem to injure any of them.

I become part of an experiment using changes in DNA to make the test subjects more like prehistoric people. I am in a big mostly featureless field (at least one end with only high grass) in a rectangular fenced-in area. The others are all men and women who look like cave people from a cheaply made movie. They seem almost like modern humans on one level in that they remind me of a group of businessmen and secretaries. They want to pretend to have a business office even in this unusual setting requiring hunting and survival skills. For this and other reasons, the group annoys me. I pretend that I am “more primitive” than them by growling like an animal. I decide I will have no part of the controlled experiment or whatever it is and go to the opposite side of the fenced-in area where there is a big tree (the only shelter in the area) as well as different food plants. Meanwhile, I keep throwing long spears (which seem to come out of nowhere) at the group. I throw them like daggers, and they spin horizontally like helicopter rotors before reaching their target, either their neck or chest. (That is impossible as the spearhead would hit from its side not suddenly go forward into the target.)

There are about half (five or six people) of the group left. I plan on living on this side where the big tree is. There are a few animals, including a saber-tooth tiger resting in the shade of the tree. I am not threatened by it. It seems more natural and right than trying to live with the group. (They stay on the featureless side of the fenced-in area away from food and shelter.) I sense I will be the only one to survive.

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