Blue_Opossum

Morning of January 8, 1983. Saturday.



I am in a mostly unfamiliar area seemingly in La Crosse. I may be near the place called Bonanza (which is a restaurant, I believe) where people fish. Over time, there is threat of a flash flood. A lot of people are struck and carried away by the rushing water and I end up hanging onto some sort of wooden debris (part of a house, I assume), quickly floating directly north. I suddenly notice a large, healthy, silvery fish next to me as if it was just tossed from the water somehow, or more like riding the waves at the same pace I am, remaining uninjured. It seems somewhat important, like a significant event for me. I am not sure what species it is; it may be a large herring. I feel a sense of vividness at that point, the most vivid part of my dream. It seems almost mystical. I have found that other people have had very similar dreams, one mentioned in a lecture about it relating to the gift of abundance.

Night of December 17, 1982. Friday.



This is an old dream from mid-December 1982, which, for some incomprehensible reason, popped clearly into my head last night, practically from “out of nowhere”, so I thought I would look it over. It mostly involves only myself and my brother-in-law Bob as characters.

We are to enter a store after hours. It is a larger store that exists in real life on the north-side of La Crosse. For some reason, we have to steal Christmas ornaments from inside the store (mostly near the checkout aisles to the north end it seems) and a few Christmas trees from a fenced-in area outside on the south end - it seems to have to do with “rescuing” or recovering alien surveillance devices or some such to get them back to the orbiting spacecraft. I have no idea how we are to get so much at once, but there may be a trailer involved (my brother-in-law has his station wagon there on the west end in the parking lot). I mostly remain in the store on my own. I see televisions on in the store and there are the scenes of the weird vegetable-puppet-looking creature from “Cold Hands, Warm Heart” - an episode of “The Outer Limits”. There is no danger, just a vague focus on a “mission” of sorts. The dream does not seem to have a resolution or even an ending, just me wandering around and trying to work out which ornaments are “alien” and which are not. I seem to be getting some sort of subtle help or at least clues from the vegetable creature that just sort of waves her/its arms around on the television screens or closed-circuit monitors. No one else shows up even though the lights are all on, so I guess there is no alarm or we (or the aliens) had deactivated it.

I do remember also, a scene of snow and cold and riding in the car while Bob drives, and feeling pretty good about the “theft” or “rescue” or whatever was going on.

Morning of November 17, 1982. Wednesday. (Extensively clarified for inexperienced dream journalists on Sunday, 17 September 2017.)



It seems to be early afternoon throughout most of this dream. My dream starts out in the apartment above my sister Marilyn’s house on Loomis Street, which seems vacant at the time, though there are a few items around including minimal furniture. The steps are unusual, but are similar to other dreams with this distortion. They go around the sides of the living room to no particular location and have no railing.

Eventually, a large and seemingly menacing polar bear makes an appearance but does not chase me at any point. I realize that the polar bear may have eaten the previous occupant of the apartment, but later, I am also thinking that this tenant (Colleen) may have gotten away but left some of her things behind (due to the presence of the bear). There is a distortion when her apartment seems to be upside-down, yet without furniture and other items falling from the implied ceiling. There is a scene where I am on the unlikely stairs and looking down at the creature though I seem incorporeal at one point.

Later, in the last part of my dream, I am downstairs in my sister’s living room and there is a knock on the door which is presumed to be the mailman with a package. Instead, it turns out to be the polar bear. It is standing upright on two legs (and at least a foot taller than me). It does not attempt to attack me, though I wake almost immediately. There is a sense of surprise and awe, but it is not nightmarish.

---

This dreams ends with non-lucid doorway waking symbolism. This type of dream outcome is sometimes triggered by the reticular activating system when environmental noise is present and based on the implied need to wake up and answer the door (which does not mean that the environmental noise is an actual door knock as the mind is unconscious and does not correctly perceive the real environment).

Dreams are experienced in real time and mainly symbolize mental processes and changes in REM semi-consciousness or neural patterns. Therefore, a staircase usually metaphorically signifies changes in levels of awareness while sleeping (just as it is deliberately used as such in some forms of meditation and hypnosis). In this case, using a staircase put me into a more vivid offset dream, which is typical. (I use a staircase in some dreams to augment lucidity.)

The polar bear becoming the preconscious to emergent consciousness factor in this case may be coincidentally based on the possible shift to doorway waking symbolism as a result of environmental noise, only if not assuming the earlier segment to be a precursor to it. The assumption that the door knock was possibly a mailman validates the reticular activating system prompt, as a mailman otherwise often relates to incrementing communication between dream self and conscious self (that is, the true conscious self identity trying to reach the otherwise muddled personified subconscious aka dream self).

If there is any waking life relevance here, it may relate to a wish to see myself as stronger or more adaptable to the cold weather (as I had moved from Florida to Wisconsin during the summer of 1978). However, there also seems to be a less-detailed thread of prescience. I told my sister about this dream. Later this day, she said “There’s your snow bear”. It was a television commercial we had never seen previously with the scene of a polar bear running across a featureless ice floe. (However, during one time period, I also regularly saw a real stuffed polar bear in a commercial window display while walking through an area in La Crosse.)

---

Morning of November 17, 1982. Wednesday.



In the last clearer segment of a non-lucid dream that otherwise relates to indiscernible activity in the living room and dining room (as I am in the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house in my dream and implied to have been sleeping), doorway waking symbolism seems to be part of the transition, at least by potential. However, this changes to physical hypnopompia. (The prior dream however, “Snow Bear”, did resolve with doorway waking symbolism, but apparently for different reasons.)

An unseen toy train is perceived as bumping against the door to the room I am “sleeping” in, from the other side (living room). There is also an additional buzzing and clicking at times, presumably made by this toy train. (In reality however, there was no door to this room, only a set of curtains. My non-lucid dreams rarely render real-life environments with viable correctness and no two detailed environments are ever the same.) This door is “remembered” to open outward into the living room from the left (again, a false memory as there is no door in reality), though I never open it during my dream.

I get the ridiculous illogical impression that the toy train “wants” to enter the room. I consider that toy railroad tracks might not need to be present, though I still eventually rise up from my bed to briefly check around the room, though I do not see any.

I am eventually surprised and alarmed by the toy train moving towards my head on the left side of my bed. It creates the surreal impression of being alive and now as a large and possibly threatening undulating caterpillar (though unseen and under the bed sheet), though it may just be seeking comfort. Physical hypnopompia results in attempting to move my arm to block it, my arm being slightly numb from lying on it.

---

When other forms of waking symbolism do not work, physical hypnopompia always does (and in the case of a numb arm, sometimes associated with a snake as the RAS waking prompt). In this case, the toy railroad tracks are apparently analogous to blood circulation, the closed door relating to blocked circulation (especially as both doorknob and arm are relevant to the left side). The prior dream related to answering the door (“Snow Bear”) is apparently a coincidence (especially as perceiving door knocking is a main alert factor of waking life, so naturally the reticular activating system would biologically implement it as such), as the implications are completely different (environmental noise as possible real knocking in contrast to blocked circulation while sleeping).

---

Morning of October 9, 1982. Saturday.



I am back in my Cubitis bedroom and I become lucid from an unknown cause (and I eventually shift into apex lucidity) but with a cautious awareness. For a time, I indulge in a lot of different scenes involving several different girls, who, for the most part, otherwise walk around enjoying themselves. I also enjoy developing various geometrical shapes in seemingly new combinations.

At one point, I fall into focusing on various connecting planes at different angles (for example, a couch, relative to the front at ninety degrees from the seat and how the arms are structured, the three-dimensional surfaces and angles enhancing my interest in dream structures). I also deliberately gaze into the eyes of one unknown female to see if I can see something special, yet all I see are the sort of lightning-like patterns (and sometimes cilia-like forms) that make up the irises and the “oil” which makes up the pupils. Still, I see myself in the pupil, which is mirror-like, the act being similar to looking into a Christmas tree ornament.

Over time, there are unusual physical effects. It seems as if I have been performing (sexually) for days. In the last segment (as I am thinking of what to do with my dream state and heightened clarity), I notice a dream character that seems to be lurking behind a doorway, but only his arms and hands are in view at first. I see that he is holding and pointing a pistol (though not at me at first as it almost seems that he plans on hiding a little longer). At this point, he is the only dream character other than myself.

“Come outta there!” I yell as a command.

“You’re under arrest!” the unfamiliar man addresses me cautiously.

Believing that I have no use for authority in my own dream, I do a hand motion and make him point the gun to his head but he struggles (and I have to increase my own will over the scene almost as if he has his own will power), saying “No, no, wait, I have something important to tell you!” Just as I am about to eliminate him (or feel that I could), I change my mind. Instead, I pause and decide to listen, because he almost seems a part of me. I get the impression that he is the last policeman to exist in “this world”.

I stand near the center of the living room, facing west (towards my bedroom doorway). He faces me, though a bit to my left. He lowers his gun and starts talking to me about my father (who had died on Valentine’s Day in 1979). (On one level, I seem to be aware of what he is going to say as if there is some sort of “automatic agreement”.) I realize that there had been guilt at not having performed in public with my father (or even being in the audience) at his last music venue. This seems somewhat profound, especially as the last words I ever heard him say (prior to his leaving to perform at the venue) “I sure wish you’d come with me”. Not feeling the connection to people or the interest to entertain or please them (aside from feeling out of place and uneasy in front of people at times), I did not have enough willpower to go. That was his last concert and in the middle, the very last words he said (to his audience), “looks like you’re going to have to play the jukebox from now on”.

From here, the policeman now seems sort of scruffy. He also now appears to be only about half my height. Still, he seems more relaxed with me. As he is looking down at the floor, he says “It’s time for a new movie”, what I take to mean a release of any and all guilt related to my father and how I was not with him in his last conscious moments, as he had in his own subtle way hinted at before leaving the house.

---

This lucid dream had likely gone on a bit too long (as biologically, a dreamer must eventually wake). The personified preconscious is eventually rendered (via the emergent consciousness) and “arrests” me, though there is still some unusual trailing conversation. One of the meanings of “It’s time for a new movie” could actually mean that it is time to wake to dream again at a later date, though it may also relate to not replaying the reality-based “mental movie” of guilt concerning my father.

---

Morning of October 4, 1982. Monday.



I am seemingly traveling on my own, heading south to an uncertain destination. There are a lot of isolated areas with a lot of shrubs, mostly. There are some back roads I follow here and there. Vaguely, I am trying to remember if I should be getting to work and what day it is.

I discover an unusual farmhouse behind a cluster of higher shrubs. It looks abandoned. Just south of that are a few more houses, but more modern-looking. They still seem a bit unmaintained in some ways or perhaps not yet completed. A man of about forty is on a smaller tractor mower in the backyard of one larger property. I ignore him at first.

I investigate the farmhouse, going inside through a door hanging from one hinge at an angle. There are also piles of wood blocking some other areas. There is sort of a damp smell and a desolate mood at first. Not much happens. I look around and notice that the decor is fairly unusual, but I am not sure why.

Finally, I go into a room that has a book on a desk but the paper is unusual, somewhat felt-like, and the ink is a bit fuzzy. There is an old photograph of a beautiful girl that lived in the house (late 1940s?) before it was abandoned due to a “natural disaster”. Looking around, it is possible that the disaster was a flood, as some features seem to relate to water somehow, as perhaps reminiscent of something you would see on an old ship. There is some sort of lantern or old-fashioned kerosene lamp but it has a different design somehow.

Looking at the book, which seems to be a diary, I discover, through images and seemingly discerning some of the writing, that the girl had a pet otter that she really cared for. I do not think that she had it in a cage. I sense a strange sadness at the idea of someone leaving their home after a seeming longer history in the region and wonder what had happened to them.

Later, a couple other people are in their yard. One may be the man I saw on the lawn mower. He tells me that the whole area had been under water until fairly recently. He mentions that the farmhouse was there long before the new houses were built south of it.

It dawns on me that the girl and her parents were some sort of aquatic human-like creatures (but mostly human in appearance) and that the “natural disaster” was not a flood, but the waters receding so that they had to leave their home to go to a river or lake somewhere to get away from land-dwelling humans, especially. Thus it turns out that this was one of those intriguing endings (and a very similar mood and awareness) that seemed to have intense sarcasm for “every man” along similar lines as “I’m Eager Beaver” and “The Four-Fanged Snake of Swamp Garden”, two of which I have already posted.

Morning of September 11, 1982. Saturday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 7

---

I seem to be living in the future though I am unsure of what the implied date is. At any rate, it seems to be (at least at first) an odd combination of the television series “Hogan’s Heroes” and George Orwell’s “1984” (as well as influence from “Logan’s Run”). There is a large room full of computers (reminiscent of NASA) where everyone is watched. It seems sad and strange that public surveillance is everywhere. Still, there is a focus on the question of who is watching the people who are watching everyone else. The group in control of the world government is called “The Delegates”. They mostly drive around in black jeeps and black limousines. The unfamiliar town in my dream is called something like Maryborough or Marlborough.

I become aware of my “mystery girl” (precognitive wife-to-be character) over time. Photographs are somehow made by computers. However, it is illegal to keep photographs older than a certain date. There are barbed wire fences throughout “ordinary” neighborhoods. I want to be with my dream girl, but it seems we may have to find a region beyond the reach of these “Future Delegates” (the term being used in my dream relating to younger politicians who are training to control large groups of people). I discover photographs in a drawer of features of the past that the government does not want people to know about. Some of it seems Biblical. At this point I seem to be in a movie. Werner Klemperer (an actor from “Hogan’s Heroes”) seems to be in charge of looking for my “mystery girl” and me near a beach. A number of black vehicles are in the area.

In the last segment, I am somehow standing atop an airplane (without any fear of falling) while hugging my “mystery girl”. In the distance is Manhattan. A tower of the World Trade Center is burning. It seems like “the sky is falling”. I perceive, on some levels that it may be the end of the world. However, I still think it may be possible to reach a livable region where government does not exist.

In the end, we jump into the ocean, still hugging.

---

• Zsuzsanna was a fan of “Hogan’s Heroes” before we met though she did not know one of the stars (Bob Crane) had been murdered. (For some reason, I had a precognitive dream of Bob Crane’s death, which had similar dynamics as this dream).
• This dream had some influences from “Logan’s Run”. The precognitive dream about Bob Crane, I “cleverly” gave the title “Hogan’s Run” (before his death).
• When I went into a library for the first time with Zsuzsanna, in Maryborough, I saw the same edition of a book (right on the top of a stack of books on a cluttered table) called “Space Opera”. This had the story “Tonight the Sky Will Fall”, first seen on September 11th, 1966 (about a week after starting school for the first time in La Crosse). My father and brother-in-law used to get various books from a nearby landfill. This included science-fiction digests, “Outdoor Life” magazines, and adult cartoon digests, all of which my reading skills increased through. With “Space Opera”, I had “Friday the Thirteenth”. This included a story about a girl riding a white horse (and who had special abilities relating to telepathy and remote viewing). Zsuzsanna was born on Friday the Thirteenth and was photographed atop a large white horse as a child around the same time as another related dream.
• There is a redhead in “Tonight the Sky Will Fall” named Leila. Zsuzsanna has a red-haired half-sister named Lelia. A main factor of the story is that his dream girl turns out to be real and that his dreaming brought the universe into existence.
• The level of surveillance and items like webcams, I never thought could reach the level it was in my dream, yet it has gone eerily beyond that which was featured in my dream. Still surveillance as such supposedly lowers crime in at least some areas. This is probably more related to connecting to the collective unconscious than solely personal insight.

---

Morning of September 5, 1982. Sunday.



There is some sort of creature or imp that lives in a cupboard under the kitchen sink at my brother Earl’s house in Florida (though he had not lived there for several years in reality), though which later seems to be in Wisconsin at a motel. My dream and the offset sequence seems to take place in late morning.

The creature, which is apparently made of electricity, projects small bolts of lightning up through the drain somehow (as if the pipe is not there and the creature is directly under where the water would flow). However, I am never directly threatened by the imp and the lightning seems mostly inconsequential. I visualize the imp as probably only being about a foot tall.

At one point, he sounds like a human talking, but with a sort of hollow or metallic sound. It seems that Earl will be unlikely to live in the apartment anymore until the “electric imp” is gone. I do not see this imp at any point, only the smaller patterns of lightning coming out of the drain now and then. Although the imp may be talking to me (though I do not focus on what it is saying), I do not speak at any point in this dream or the following offset segment.

---

In an offset dream, though still part of the same sequence (without waking), I find myself in an unknown parking lot (though is possibly near Shopko on the north side of La Crosse). I see Earl sitting in the back seat of an unknown car, on the right-hand side. His face seems distorted, without the potential for it to be a real human face (which my dream self finds inconsequentially puzzling). Still, he reminds me of a handicapped male in a television commercial from years ago, who said, “I’m a little tired. I’m alright though,” when emerging from the water of a large indoor swimming pool.

---

The last scene is a transmuted water lowering waking symbol (subliminally associated with someone emerging from water as analogous to leaving the dream state), even though the electric imp was already a factor of water lowering waking symbolism. A parking lot is also a common waking space symbol for me, though typically the second-from-last dream of the sleeping period (as this was) while a porch is typically the final waking symbolism setting of a sleeping period.

---

Night of August 6, 1982. Friday.



This was one of those extremely common precognitive and remote viewing hybrids of a rather amusing and peculiar nature and the usual seemingly “pointless” regard that I have come to know so well since earliest memory - although another user on another dream journal site has clarified why this type of dreaming likely happens. Oddly, it is a similar process as to what eventually creates animals with amazing attributes regarding mimicry and camouflage. In other words, the dream state produces unusual mixed (and sometimes fantastically altered) composites of remote viewing, postcognition, and precognition until the consciousness is more defined via exercising the process of elimination (thereby leaving you more and more on your “correct” path by default).

It is seemingly based on the science-fiction short story “Arena” (by Fredric Brown), though I actually never read it even though I had it in a collection at one time. I am wandering around in the dream into an area of French Island that I had never been, which is a cluster of trees and high grasses which eventually leads into a more open area where boathouses can be seen on the other side of the Black River channel.

I hear an electronic (yet still discernible as male) voice that accuses me of “trespassing” and I recognize that it is not in my immediate surroundings. Off to the side, I notice what looks like a part of a “spaceship”. However, even though it looks a lot like a spaceship at first, it turns out to be some sort of set of bleachers for aliens from various planets to come to Earth and watch fights - some sort of gambling or “trade” arrangement.

After a short time, I find myself surrounded by these weird orange “bleachers” on three sides, with a sparse audience of odd-looking characters or the “aliens” aforementioned. I am then confronted by a robotic octopus (though more like a squid) of sorts. It has long tentacles (more like segmented cables) that are somewhat like the hose of a vacuum cleaner but about half the size and shiny and metallic. It spreads them out horizontally and southerly in my direction. I am able to avoid its attempted attacks by deliberately falling backwards and moving to different areas of the “arena”.

I am dressed differently as well, almost caveman-like (or in rags), partially covered in machine oil, and seem to be about ten years older. I seem to win somehow (or perhaps the robot malfunctions) but the dream becomes vague and meandering.

A day later, in real life, I decide to visit the area implied by the dream for the first time. I manage to walk off into a weedy area near the main road and eventually find my way walking through a more open area. Most of the weeds are higher than my head, but there is a clearing where there is less grass. I eventually notice large orange objects (and another structure) sticking out from one weedy area which appear to be man-made. Obviously, the dream comes back to me and for some inexplicable reason, I feel completely terrified and out-of-place. I even get the rather vague impression it could be a “craft” of some kind (even though I do not believe in alien visitations in spaceships).

However, it soon dawns on me, as I “bravely” investigate, that they are some sort of odd unfamiliar construction materials and utility items that I had not seen before (some of it being orange demolition stands/fencing, I think, but in odd uneven piles), and I had not heard anything about building being done in the area. There are about three or four piles of the materials, and farther on, stacks of odd-looking squarish lumber. There was also a broken piece that resembled the “tentacle” from the dream - possibly from an adjustable lamp, as there was a bit of other junk in one area (though it was not meant to be a dump). I still feel extremely strange for a short time (things of this nature had happened before, but this area actually seemed “off” to me for a short time). Realizing that I may be trespassing, I decide to keep going in a direction and area I had also never been in before and end up having to go back the way I came (due to the river disallowing farther travel and too many hazards). This was, in afterthought, a rather hilarious, though slightly unnerving experience.

This was a memorable experience, which shows that remote viewing in-dream sometimes alters an environment you have not been in - in a similar way that words you are not sure of the meaning of are given completely different meanings in-dream (the best example being my “Jacuzzi” dream).

Night of April 9, 1982. Friday. (Original dream date, into very early morning of April 10, 1982, having previously seen “Cat People” the night of the 9th.)



I am in La Crosse, Wisconsin very late at night. No other people are around. I am mostly going north down 7th Street North. To my right is Burns Park. (This is about a half-block-sized park with a diagonal sidewalk from southeast to northwest. I used to walk through there on a regular basis during this time.) The area just north of Burns Park is not a cluster of houses as in reality (which continues on to more of the urban area), but all open field instead.

My dream seems fairly long but mostly involves just walking around and looking at the environment. I get a strange, vivid perception of mistaking the rear bumper of a car for a form of water (possibly relative to incorrectly perceiving it as a part of a cascade).

In my dream, I become aware, quite vividly, as well as lucidly, that I am a black panther. The feelings and perceptions seem very accurate somehow. Eventually, I decide to pounce upon and eat a rabbit that is trying to escape by running somewhat northeast after getting to the fictional open field. The experience is quite odd, I would not say off-putting, but a bit unusual in awareness, especially regarding the vivid nature of it and having to “eat” the fur as well. This scene seems to have been directly borrowed from “Cat People” (1982).

---

This seems to be solely an exercise in having freedom from human responsibilities and restrictions. It is interesting that my dream’s environment originates around the park (which has the least man-made structures of the immediate region in reality) and that the adjoining urban area was changed to a field. It was common for me to become very annoyed at man-made structures in dreams - and open outside areas often replaced what were clusters of buildings in real life.

Other associations (updated March 2014):

The flag of theEastern Shawnee Tribe of Oklahoma features a black panther above a white swan, both very important personal symbols for a number of reasons.

A panther is associated with a supposed ancestor or at least a relative (via the Ruland line - this is documented in at least one book on Tecumseh).

My parents and I lived in a cypress swamp at one point in my earlier years where I saw Florida panthers in the wild - including one that once looked through the window of our trailer late at night. They are now apparently a threatened species.

After my wife and I first made contact in real life (via mail and telephone) she got to “meet” Tarbu - a black panther in some sort of traveling show, and she also got a related poster.

The movie “Cat People” (1982) featured publicity art of the lead actress (Nastassja Kinski) with dark hair and supposed “green panther eyes”, a similar appearance to my wife which someone even commented on on one of our early dates. Coincidentally, one of the main characters is named Oliver, the name of our youngest son (not by related intent). LINK

---

Morning of April 3, 1982. Saturday.



I am in La Crosse, Wisconsin on the south side of town and west of the main library. There are a number of other people around, mostly unknown. There is a tornado coming in our direction (from the southwest), or so it seems for several minutes. I can hear the train-like rumbling sounds (like with a real tornado but which may be caused by real environmental noise such as louder traffic while sleeping). I am with some friends and we and the other people are eventually running everywhere, though mostly north.

All of a sudden, there is a strange screeching sound (again, possibly caused by real-life environmental sounds intruding into my dream without waking me, such as a vehicle’s brakes squealing). We look back and it turns out to have been an enormous caterpillar spinning a cocoon and was not a tornado. Everything is quiet now that the caterpillar has entered this stage and is vertically oriented within the giant cocoon, apparently sleeping and not threatening in any way. Additionally, I get the impression that it was not actually chasing us. We just happened to originally be in the area it was coincidentally moving towards during the faux chase. Eventually, I become semi-lucid and personally indulge in sensual pleasures in an offset scenario until I choose to wake.

---

Resupplemented for a clearer and more detailed explanation on Saturday, 2 December 2017.

There are really two levels to this dream, a natural (biological) ordinary meaning and a spiritual meaning if one is so inclined. On the natural level, a tornado is a factor of RAS and inner ear dynamics as precursory waking symbolism, an extreme augmentation analogous to potential dizziness in real life. In this case, that aspect is validated by a second inner ear dynamic, the potential butterfly flight symbol, which is “frozen” and thus as a result, triggering lucidity against the subdued RAS factor (similar to the “frozen” bird silhouettes in more recent apex lucidity dreams). On one level of course, this dream was at least partly influenced by “Mothra” (a 1961 movie).

Spiritually, tornadoes represent the powerful bottom half of the Merkaba (even in my earliest childhood dreams) and, due to the “raw force” of a tornado, relate to personal dream state alchemy. (In certain trance states of deep meditation, I vividly experience the Merkaba by touching my wife Zsuzsanna on the shoulder, the Merkaba of which appears as two blue tornadoes uniting, rotating in opposite directions, with extraordinarily vivid impressions which I can only describe as seeing hundreds of different wedding ceremonies of different cultures and eras.) The transition from tornado to caterpillar-in-cocoon implies a waiting stage prior to changing into a butterfly (a type of personal ascension or implying the state of readiness for meeting my “dream girl” in real life).

Susan R (the only person other than Zsuzsanna of whom I could ever sense as existing on other levels) and Zsuzsanna (before I knew she was a real person) drew identical vertically-oriented anthropomorphic caterpillars in a top hat (as if one had been traced over the other with even the same stray line) as a part of an otherwise dissimilar story. (One of my relatives was scared and angered by seeing this as most ordinary people do not like the unexplained, though over time, changed their way of thinking and was eventually glad I had found my “dream girl” after so many precise clues over so many years.)

---

“The caterpillar makes an appearance in a few other places outside ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’, such as 'American McGee’s Alice’ and the novel 'The Looking-Glass Wars’; in both of these spin-offs he plays the role of an oracle.”

---

Morning of March 31, 1983. Thursday.



It seems to be early morning in my dream, just before sunrise. I am in an unusual composite setting of a “compressed” and seemingly isolated cornfield and the backyard of the Loomis Street house at the same time. (A “compressed” setting is where an implied larger environment somehow fits into a much smaller one, which can only be perceived as such in the dream state and is unresolvable in conscious afterthought. This is an incidental distortion of the dream state itself, as the subconscious self does not have a viable perception of either time or space, so it is unwise to pretend it has a meaning.)

Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon. It is in the distance and the sky grows red, though I do not directly discern the mushroom cloud. There is eventually a strong wind. All I remain aware of is the wind blowing against the scarecrow as if it was the last construct of the human race. The wind makes an almost human-like sound, but like a soft though eerie chorus, though there is a female chorus in the final moments, which leaves the impression of a movie soundtrack. (I become aware of the meaning of my dream in hypnopompic disclosure, which I will clarify from here.)

---

As I learn that my dream is autosymbolic of the dream state and waking process itself and not to be mistaken as relating to waking life (as my non-lucid subconscious self has no viable access to either my unconscious mind or conscious self identity), what are some obvious clues that reveal this?

“Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon.” The sun rises in the east, which means in this case, the autosymbolism represents the dramatic cessation of the dream state and nothing more. (Additionally, red only dominates my dream when I have slept a little longer than usual. I have otherwise found no evidence of it having any waking life relevance when it occurs as such.) This is additionally evidenced by the “movie soundtrack” in the last moments, a common dream feature, as a dream becomes more vivid by way of the preconscious, not the unconscious (as dreams occur in REM sleep, when closer to consciousness).

Another clue is the scarecrow. What movie seemingly revealed to be a dream features a scarecrow? Hint: “I think I’ll miss you most of all.” The personified subconscious (dream self) does not “have a brain”. It also does not have a real physical body. Ultimately, this dream is an expression of saying goodbye to Oz (the dream state). (There may also be a subtle association with vestibular system correlation, one of the most common dream causes, as a scarecrow is associated with scaring away birds as flight associations in dreams usually occur with biologically resolving genuine vestibular system dynamics with the illusory dynamics of the dream state.)

On a final note, I do not see this as a bad dream, let alone a nightmare. (It occurred during sunrise, correlating with the autosymbolic content.)

---

Morning of March 5, 1982. Friday.

Dream #: 5,555-01. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



In my dream, I enter a building in the region I live in real life that is first like a shopping mall in La Crosse. Eventually, I am at a party, though I feel out of place as I do not drink in real life. (Important note: In this instance, my dream self has this specific knowledge of my waking-life identity, but in other dreams, it does not. With that differing status, I might drink as a result. This factor disproves the existence of the subconscious.) There is also a vague awareness of being in the basement of a church or cathedral.

The only person I recognize is John Belushi. He approaches me without invitation and casually talks about his death. He tells me death is like dreaming at first before moving on. As he talks, my dream becomes vivified, but not to the point where I am consciously aware I am dreaming at a higher level. He is wearing a dark suit that changes at times, from a shimmery material to duller and back again. He is drinking a pinkish drink from a small cocktail glass.

I am aware the people at this party are either in the casual process of dying or are living people sleeping, all in the same dreaming location (enigmatic space). A couple of times, John Belushi walks away to talk to someone else, but they ignore him, so he walks back to me. I start thinking that maybe it is not me he is talking to, but someone whom he sees as someone else, perhaps a friend, and I am somehow in the same location but unseen.

After leaving the building, I look back and notice a big white bat above it, flying in a circle. The structure now looks like a foreign mausoleum, though also like a miniature cathedral. The motions of the bat remind me of stop-motion animation as in “Jason and the Argonauts” from 1963 (a recurring dream distortion since childhood). I vaguely perceive the white bat only represents death in this dream because I had read about it in a so-called dream dictionary. (I do not believe in dream interpretation in the way others propagate this misconception.)

---

Many people might call this dream precognitive (so I have included the label), but the content indicates it was telepathic, as John Belushi’s death occurred about the same time as my dream. I was not a fan and had not seen his movies. I had no way of knowing his status and held no recent thoughts of him. This dream is the only one in which he ever appeared.

My dream is principally literal co-occurrence with an event I could not have known about consciously.

Humanity has no viable explanations for experiences of this nature. Their typical response is with ignorance, denial, derision, and deceit no matter how much evidence is to the contrary. That sums it up for humanity’s ultimate failure to understand either the nature of enigmatic space or what dreams are.

---

Morning of February 14, 1982. Sunday.



This is one of those “riding around in a car while relatives look for something” dreams, more common when I was much younger. I am with my brother-in-law Bob though at another point seem to be with someone else who is driving (possibly brother-in-law Mel and my sister Carol). I am in the back seat on the right side for the most part and my dream wavers between being alert and feeling a bit “off”.

There is a strong focus on finding a “bird cemetery” that takes up exactly one city block, or so it seems. However, over time, I get a very eerie feeling that something is not quite right. Time does not seem to pass normally as if I am living within some sort of looped or repeating situation. It does not come to my awareness at all that there are no bird cemeteries as such, and such an idea does not even seem strange to me in-dream. In fact, I get the impression that most bird cemeteries are probably a little bigger than many human cemeteries. At one point, it seems we pass the same bird cemetery several times (even though we do not make any turns, it seems) but do not stop because, for some reason, it is not the right one (the one we apparently are actually going to stop and visit). I see more and more bird cemeteries that seem similar or are somehow the “same” one and begin to recognize that there are hardly any other landmarks or areas with normal buildings (so that perhaps the “same” one-block bird cemetery is to be seen for three blocks in a row, that is, three instances of it). My uncomfortable awareness that I am stuck in some sort of “loop” remains until I wake as well as some sort of other unnamed but eerie association I cannot quite put words to (though my dream is too emotionless otherwise to be nightmarish).

This dream possibly came from (or was influenced by) the line “the mockingbird still singing o'er her grave”, as I get a vague impression that many of the birds are probably mockingbirds, shrikes, and starlings - this in turn possibly layered with the otherwise unrelated novel title “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

Update (July 2, 2015): I should probably add in this online entry that when I was very young, I very much thought that the line “the mockingbird still singing o'er her grave” was about the ghost of a mockingbird singing over her own grave. This is probably important regarding this particular dream’s distortion, as it was also a song my father sang (and he died on the fourteenth of February in 1979).

Morning of January 7, 1982. Thursday.

Dream #: 5,498-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



I am on the city bus in La Crosse, seemingly headed south. The route is like one I had taken in real life from the north side to the south side. There are so many people on the bus that one unknown young female is standing at the front of the bus, though facing away from the main doors, and holding a baby of perhaps six months of age. I am seated in the middle of the right side, closest the aisle.

This female appears to be in friendly conversation with a few people sitting at the front of the bus. She is holding the baby with her right arm. Eventually, as the bus is coming to its next stop, she holds a large red apple in front of the baby’s face with her left arm. The infant not only opens his mouth impossibly wide to consume the apple in one gulp, but he also swallows the left forearm of the girl who is holding him. She looks at the baby with a sense of awe but seems uninjured and still cheerful.

---

Two forms of coalescence waking symbolism occur here; firstly, the bus, which represents returning to consciousness (as an imaginary journey) in this case, with all the other dream characters together in one vehicle; secondly, the baby swallowing the apple with exaggerated dynamics. Being on a bus is also a form of linear vestibular system correlation, all vehicles being associations with the physical body. That factor typically includes cars, boats, and airplanes.

---