Blue_Opossum

Morning of December 18, 1980. Thursday.



Summary: A town called “Circus World” does not seem to exist regardless of billboard indicators.

I am riding in a car in the back seat - with my older sister Carol also in the car in the front seat, and her husband Mel is driving (it seeming to be the car they own at the time in reality). It seems to be nearing six o‘clock in the evening. We are looking for an actual town near La Crosse or West Salem apparently called “Circus World”, though that is actually an attraction in Baraboo, Wisconsin in reality. Mel is regarding the billboards to determine where to go, but we never reach the town. It almost seems as if the fictional town of Circus World had moved years before. We go past some of the same sketchy billboards a few times over - most displaying an elephant head (back and forth in both directions, north and south, on a few occasions, Mel trying to determine if there is a main road that goes to the east or west). It may also turn out to be, I reason, a small town at the end of a back road, but we do not stop anywhere or get out of the car at any point. Perhaps it is not the right “season” for the town to be visible and is somehow invisible otherwise (or more reasonably, named differently during off-season).

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In real life, a few years prior to this dream, I had given Mel my paperback copy (which I read) of Alistair MacLean’s “Circus” as a Christmas present when I was a teenager (which was a spy fiction story or thriller). Though I saw it on the bookshelf in their home some time later, I was never sure if he would have read something like that and I never asked. That was possibly at least partly the “trigger” for this dream scenario. I also thought that perhaps he did not know what the plot involved due to the “unlikely” cover and title.

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Conclusion: A self-interpreting giveaway occurs; an inadvertent revelation that reveals that what is first read as “All star (Circus)” is actually “Alistair” upon closer examination. This is during hypnopompic dissolution.

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Morning of December 8, 1980. Monday.



On the morning of December 8, 1980, I had an eerie dream of going out to the chickenyard (in Cubitis, Florida) to check for eggs (this being a couple years after we had moved to Wisconsin) and there was a strange empty feeling. A few chickens were around and roosting in the afternoon. They had their heads down as if trying to avoid the sunlight or glare from the tin roof. There are no eggs anywhere for me to gather. There are large skeletal remains of a walrus (the whole body) on the ground under the higher-up cages to the west, lying on its left side (with its head north) and facing me. I can see the tusks and skeletal features - strange because this was the only time I had ever dreamt of a walrus in my life to my knowledge. This was just before John Lennon was shot, even though in the song “Glass Onion”, he sings “the walrus was Paul”, although John was the lead singer of “I am the Walrus” and there is the mention of being the “eggman” as well, so there are two implied connections in my dream (“I am the walrus” and “I am the eggman”).

My dream had a wintry atmosphere (though almost like being on a cold sandy beach). (It obviously was colder in Wisconsin in December than in Florida but dreams are certainly not always relevant to the current season in real life). In an offset dream, I am in the area closer to the railroad tracks where it is not mowed or cut very often. Looking east, I see a row of red tulips; some that are bent down so that the bud was pointing downwards and I was seeing it at times in an uncomfortable blurry way as if through glasses with “rings” of different focal aspects (onion-like). This is seemingly a reference from “Glass Onion” and “looking through the bent-back tulips”. The buds bending downward seem to reflect a vague sense of melancholy.

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I consider this dream precognitive. This is different from the John Belushi precognitive dream in that this dream came some hours before John Lennon’s death while the John Belushi one, apparently at about the same time as his death, and John Belushi was actually in that one.

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Morning of November 9, 1980. Sunday.



This was a very long movie-like dream where I still played the main role. As such, I did not seem to be threatened at any point even though the basis is the end of modern civilization (which actually seems like a very positive thing in my dream in my own experiences), yet also a dawn of a seemingly better way of life. Several years after my dream, I enjoyed a song that came out with the same title as my original dream records, also called “Seeds of Life” - by Jan Hammer and by Chris Thompson, one of my favorite vocalists after Tony Carey.

I somehow gain access to a way to have special seeds that grow quickly - almost like a “Jack in the Beanstalk” type connection (which seem to come to me by way of some sort of “divine intervention” so to speak), but more related to a type of world change. Sometime after this I grew fond of a song with the lyrics “here, here are the seeds”, which had a strong influence on my ideas at one point. I believe it was from an album called “Wind Woman”, but I can find no information on the Internet about it. In fact, there are a few albums that I really enjoyed and listened to a lot that I can find little or no information about, which is typical, really.

Anyhow, wherever I throw a handful of seeds, large vines grow up and around buildings, and the city grows more and more jungle-like. After a time, many people start to focus on the negative implications rather than the concept of having so much food and additional shelter.

I am in my old high school environment (in a small trailer, which was called a “portable” classroom) and eventually, dinosaurs somehow come about and walk through the new jungles. There are times when I clearly see the vines growing fairly quickly and am even “saved” by such an event when rapidly growing trees push aside people that are after me.

At one point, I am arrested for all the trouble the seeds have caused (as I am the one who had put them everywhere). However, as I am in the police car, I “hear” a voice say “finish your job”, which is actually more like “feeling the shape of the words” rather than hearing the audio, similar to telepathy. I throw the seeds I have left, which are almost egg-like in shape and size. From there, the car is stopped by crashing into a tree that grows through the middle of the road. I escape from there. Eventually I am able to live high in the jungle branches and enjoy the view.

Morning of October 1, 1980. Wednesday.



My main dream sequence was somewhat abstract and mostly involved looking around in an unusual store that was a distorted composite, with what was being sold together in the same store as such not making much sense. There are craft items, fishing tackle, and possibly school textbooks on certain shelves, and possibly food. However, the waking transition was very clear as it usually is and can easily be decoded.

I am later fishing while standing on a roofed sidewalk. I am at the front of the store (facing east) but which also mainly looks like the entrance to my middle school in Florida. The parking lot has been replaced by a large body of water which comes up to the level of where the parking lot’s surface would otherwise be. This is where I am fishing.

After a short time, I hook onto something that feels very heavy and large but does not fight that much. Soon however, a huge catfish slowly emerges from the surface of the water, slides on its stomach up onto the sidewalk and swallows an unknown chubby male (of perhaps forty) who had been standing about eight feet to my right. There is a sense of awe but I am also somewhat amused.

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I would rather experience coalescence autosymbolism by watching another (typically unknown and presumed fictional) dream character being swallowed than experience it as my dream self. This is otherwise autosymbolism for the illusory dream state being swallowed up by the conscious self identity and the distorted dream self coalescing back into consciousness. The parking lot is liminal space (autosymbolism for being in a specific level of unconsciousness between dreaming and waking), and water lowering waking symbolism eventually commences here as in many other dreams. An area of land being replaced by becoming the surface of a body of water has happened in a number of my dreams, and other people have reported this as well.

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Night of September 13, 1980. Saturday. (Wife’s birthday prior to contact.)



Yes, I know. Not a very good title (but it is the original Journal title after all), but Oceania was the “real"name, which is quite interestingly what Australia is a part of in real life - though this Oceania was an underwater world that was also deep underground (I did not at all associate it with Australia in my dream). Regardless of the adult nature of my dream and the "mystery girl” associations, as well as the amazing “Little-Nemo-like” landscapes, I am fairly certain most of it was loosely influenced by shows I had not seen for several years; mainly “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters” and “Land of the Lost”.

That is certain regarding “Land of the Lost”, because the first part of my dream was almost like a long parody of the opening to the first season, with even poorer “special effects”. It was fun, though, and I am actually surprised that I did not laugh myself awake. I was in a boat that was seemingly too small and ended up going over a waterfall, through a tunnel, and into “another world”, all the while making “ooh” and “aah” sounds that came off as a bit “fake”. This world, however, was fully oceanic, with all of the buildings and inventions of that world specifically appearing to be greatly influenced by the depths of the ocean, such as most of the buildings seemingly formed by arrangements of giant seashells and coral arrangements. (A relief it was, though, without any “shellevision” or barking lobsters).

My dream is very epic with long, beautiful scenes, but there is no actual interesting plot to tell anyone about. A dark-haired girl, the (main) princess of that world, shows me around. She is not mermaid-like or anything (in that she appears fully human) but can breathe water in the manner all the other inhabitants can, and I am somehow able to breathe underwater for the duration, with no concern at all about how unusual that would be in reality. She wears primarily black, but with various jewels covering much of the material, as well as a mostly black tiara with smaller jewels somewhat ruby-like, looking similar to a variation of a black swan tiara (where two swans that are closer face each other and imply a heart).

The main entrance and exit (relating to surface world access) seems to be a long tunnel with a large river flowing through, probably about ten feet up from the water’s surface. It seems to be light enough to travel fairly safely, but with no sign of a light source. Odd, though, as it is seemingly below (or implied as such) the state of Wisconsin rather than being anywhere near the ocean.

The ending is very dramatic. I am given a parade upon leaving that world (similar in style to the fuss over Little Nemo). I may be leaving because my ability to breathe water will wear off at a later stage.

This is one of the hundreds of dreams where number twenty-two comes in; in this case, as two giant swans (swaying in a way that strongly reminds me of serpents) as, curiously, the ending theme from “The Blue Lagoon” plays in the background as the fancy parade moves along slowly and interestingly. There is an unusual composite emotion of great happiness and near melancholy at the same time. (In real life, years later, I actually did send my yet-to-be wife a large leaf painted with two swans on it.) This is a repeat of a scene from a childhood dream where “stand-in” archetype Brenda W was involved and the parade had two snakes (that impossibly crawled upright as snakes did in my childhood dreams - like a “standing” letter “S”). There were a lot of amazing transitions that “taught” me, quite extensively over half a lifetime, how Brenda W represented my unknown wife at the time.

This was the longest and most colorful dream of the night. It was on my wife’s birthday (long before our first contact), and it involved me going “down under” (even using the name “Oceania”) to see the dark-haired, green-eyed “mystery girl”. This of course, is nothing compared to the far more precise journey details since earliest memory.

Morning of August 17, 1980. Sunday. (Last clarified and resupplemented on Friday, 1 September 2017.)



The myth: “You cannot snore and dream at the same time.” This is one of those virtually endless bits of disinformation that one sees in various lists about dreams (and in most cases the entire list is untrue, including those related to “interpretation” by “experts”, as well as the superstitious “black cats crossing a person’s path“ mentality). I do not know who came up with this mindless concept or how it spread, but there have been many times in my life when I was snoring and dreaming at the same time, which includes the following entry.

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I am doing a news report that includes a celebrity interview (apparently with Rod Stewart, though he never makes an appearance), using a black generic microphone with a long cord (the cord going into the back of a white van), similar to the one I use in real life to record affirmations (though I am not using a cassette tape for any type of scripted dreaming in this case). At times, my microphone is making a sort of buzzing “snoring” sound. A few times, I move and swing the cord around to see if a short is causing the sound.

I walk around in the parking lot and it seems to be late morning. I am to ask the singer about the different classic cars he owned. The parking lot is full of his cars, mainly from the 1940s to the present. As I walk near one of the cars, I hear that it had been left running and the engine also makes a sort of unusual snoring sound. I consider asking him when I see him if he is aware that the car had been running. There are several others around at first, all unfamiliar males, but a few are from the radio station I am supposedly working for.

Eventually, a black bear comes onto the scene and my team and I need to escape. It also seems to be making a snoring sound, though it is implied to be growling as such.

I decide to quickly climb down over a cliff at the edge of the parking lot (to hide from the bear), and, although there is a narrow ledge, I end up hanging on the microphone cord. Someone, I do not know who, is soon pulling me up, though I sense it may be the bear doing this (though I am not sure), but as I begin to climb up, the bear leaps over the cliff with his front paws spread out but misses me and presumably falls to his death. I wake up in the middle of a snore.

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The parking lot setting, as well as the cliff, is completely unrelated to waking life. Both are specific liminal space indicators of the dream state, the parking lot because it represents a halfway point (between dreaming and waking) as analogous to leaving an area (the dream state) and the potential of returning home (waking life), and the cliff being related to the biologically premonitory nature of waking from sleep (which often produces a natural falling sensation based on inner ear dynamics and coming out of being unconscious and otherwise has no meaning).

The bear in this case may also have no meaning other than the preconscious factor (which is sometimes aggressive, depending on incidental dream dynamics, for the sole purpose of waking the dreamer) as it was primarily rendered by way of the sound of my own snoring. Note the progression; microphone buzzing, car engine running, bear growling. This is all sound-based, where my unconscious was simply trying to compensate for the sound of my own snoring yet also slowly alerting me to the waking transition. To validate this, a microphone would not normally get my attention (especially as I am already holding it despite its presumed technical difficulty), a car engine running would not necessarily get my attention either, but a bear certainly would. See how this works? (It should be obvious to a person of reasonable intelligence.) The usual hypnopompic falling dynamic was transferred to the bear so that my waking was softer than it would have been otherwise.

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Optimized 2 minute 15 second read.
Saturday morning, 5 April 1980.
“Kar Krazy” (haunted parking lot excursion)
Series: Surreal Vehicles as Illusory Physicality in Non-Reality
Dream # 4,856-03.



Although sitting in the back seat of a parked car in the dream state is a typical transition from an intuitive or metacognitive recognition of being asleep (an imagining since childhood) while a vehicle is analogous to managing my imaginary dream body, a residual influence occurs here regarding a recent waking-life event.

In a real-world scenario, I had sat in the back seat of a car in a parking lot in Southside La Crosse waiting for Carol and Marilyn (two older half-sisters on my mother’s side) while they collected promotional products from businesses with company logos on keyrings and other items for prizes in a raffle.

Sleep cycle dynamics integrated the location into a surreal dreaming experience. The parking lot where I had been only once in my waking life is similar in my dream. This type of influence, being in an unfamiliar location for a time in waking life, sometimes affects the dream state in unusual ways despite the processes being of the same familiar and traceable causality.

In my dream, I leave the car and wander around in the parking lot in the early evening. No one else is present at any time. With deliberation, I want to create and experience a movie about poltergeist activity in the parking lot.

I title the movie “Kar Krazy” (a deliberate misspelling, not a typical dreaming mistake in this instance). Part of the plot infers that being behind the steering wheel of a vehicle makes people temporarily crazy.

The decal on the hood of a Trans Am becomes animated, becoming like actual fire for a time.

A semi-trailer with lightning decals is “haunted” by “road rage.” The lightning has the properties of actual lightning for a time. Electricity reaches a few feet from the semi-trailer.

I consider that a keyring (inspiration from the real-world event previously mentioned) with an attached car key could generate “haunted” lightning and influence people’s thinking processes.

A car stretches to an unrealistic height (while remaining the same length) while another “falls flat like a cake in the oven.” A couple of cars drive off by themselves.

In the last scene, I sit atop a car as I sometimes do in this mode of dreaming. Vestibular-motor phasing was minimal for this narrative.

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Lightning and electricity occur in dreams with metacognitive recognition of increasing precursory consciousness (synaptic energy in real time while dreaming). Although irrelevant to this report, physical pain and the “pins and needles” sensations also emerge in dreams and even when awake as lightning or electricity for most people I know. For example, I once dropped a heavy book on my foot in a dark room and saw realistic “lightning.”


Important notes:

According to my first Google result, the term “road rage” was “coined in 1988” (Los Angeles TV news), inferring a precognitive element in this dream (which makes no sense because I deliberately summoned this descriptive phrase while dreaming).

However, as it turns out, the phrase occurred in print before that. “ROAD RAGE” tires appeared as far back as 1982 (see the image if available), with other usages of the term before that. In contrast, there are thousands of misspellings of “road race” as “road rage” in OCR renderings on the Internet.

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Morning of March 15, 1980. Saturday.



My original dream record was entitled “Invasion of the Blue Doughnuts”, but I am not sure if this new title is that much better…

This was a very long dream with many scenes, like an actual “epic” by description, which are not as common as other types, I think.

My dream begins in my sister’s backyard very late at night. Several other people, mostly neighbors and local passersby, are in the alley. We end up watching strange, small, blue torus-like forms “raining” slowly from the dark sky. It seems beautiful at first. They seem just the right size to wear as a ring. However, they eventually seem to be some sort of dangerous alien life form, like a sort of doughnut-shaped worm or strange “finger-eating” mollusc - and coming from an asteroid orbiting close to Earth. They are able to “eat” people, apparently with their mouth being the inner region of the torus, I think, but they attack in large “swarms” or “flocks”. They are all over the ground eventually. I am never directly in danger, but it is an eerie event. People spend time meeting at storefront areas and talk about what should be done. The government does not seem that active at all in what should be done.

Other creatures, which seem like some sort of tiny yellowish ants (so tiny as to be almost microscopic), are able to rapidly eat a person (from the feet up only, it seems - or at least in an upwards direction), so that it looks like the person is quickly sinking into the ground. This is rather disturbing to many of the residents who are planning to leave town.

Later, I am walking through a strange area where more creatures have taken over. There are very large snails, about the size of a cat. They seem to have almost human-like “faces”, but clown-like and rather goofy-looking. There are also odd crab-like creatures with “human eyes”. I do not feel that threatened or unsafe at this point, which is verified by my needing to resist the urge to laugh out loud and attract a different creature that may be in the area. There are puddles of water everywhere as if it had rained recently.

After a lot of different random adventures and narrow escapes, it seems the human race is “doomed”. I am at a campsite with a few friends, one of them possibly Tina L and another Toby T (and possibly Steve J). In the distance, along the horizon, is a series of huge, red, and slowly moving (or “crawling” like a slug) “monoliths”, creating a sort of echoing rumbling “moan”, which are actually a massive life-form about the size of a skyscraper and which are some kind of enormous mollusc. The sun is setting and they move over the distant landscape like a uniform series of slowly moving upright reddish dominoes…their number seeming almost endless. In the back of my mind, it vaguely creates the association or essence of a slowly moving assembly line in a factory. These are how our “last days” will be spent, but there a still a sense of peace somehow.

Morning of February 10, 1980. Sunday.



I am disembodied in my dream while watching a seeming display as if from a television movie or commercial, although it seems I am actually there at one point and hovering over the scene following the unknown Caucasian female as she walks. It apparently involves a female detective and “Swathy Daniels” is apparently her name. There is an unseen younger male of perhaps about twenty (as a voice-over) singing her name as she walks through the unknown city (though may be La Crosse) in a pale gold jacket - he sings it slowly in a sort of odd matter-of-fact way as she crosses the street (not at an intersection but near the middle) with a very slight sense of melancholy though still with a discernible degree of cheerfulness.

Later on, I reason that it may have turned out to be just a perfume commercial (or perhaps a shampoo commercial) even though I still sense it is related to a detective show. (Detectives are typically rendered in cases where the non-lucid dream self is puzzled by being in the dream state).

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Trying to work out what this could possibly mean, there is a good chance that crossing the street is a liminal space period, though not as much a consciousness shift as with a staircase - though reaching the other side of the street would be a good waking metaphor. “Swath” is probably a dream sign play related to being wrapped (”swathed”) in a bed sheet during the dream. “Daniels” may or may not be a subtle play on actor Anthony Daniels, who played C-3PO in the “Star Wars” movies and in which case would reflect one of the aspects of the dream self in not being fully conscious. This seems possible due to the fact her jacket was of a similar color (also an emergent consciousness color) so then would represent the transitory waking self (hybrid stage, usually very brief other than in my childhood dreams).

Morning of December 23, 1969. Tuesday.



Sometimes a wrongful association stays with you as a sort of symbolic memory that is triggered by later recall. Dreams have a lot of “power” (or rather influence) at times, especially childhood dreams that seem “practiced” into a new (distorted) idea. In this case, the Christmas song “The Holly and the Ivy” is portrayed as something completely different than what the song is about - and this is likely unique to my own personal view and way of thinking. Instead of about plants, it is about a bloody battle between the lion and the unicorn.

The reasons for this are not entirely illogical in my opinion. There is a line in the song that is “the holly bears the crown”, which makes me think of “king” and of course the lion (especially as it seems impossible for me to associate a plant with a crown - even “crown of thorns”, sometimes changed to “crown of nails” depending on which story you go by, is something that does not immediately come to mind), and as there is also the line “and the running of the deer” which probably aided in creating this fictional representation of the song, as a deer is an animal with a very vague association with a unicorn. The fact that I did not understand hardly anything in the song (and the fact that it is somewhat meandering and incoherent as it is) at the time did not help either. Thus, dreams often “experiment” with potential interpretations of real life - just as in real life, you interpret aspects of dreams. A full circle, it seems. The inside and outside “worlds” are always trying to resolve things not yet understood. Dreams seem a large part of that cycle, which means some aspects of dreams are far less meaningful than conscious learning, contrary to what some people seem to believe, but there are many different types and states, of course - and dreams resulting from meditation, affirmation, and projection have different properties than those trying to resolve something not understood from real life.

The words themselves are also tricky. “Holly” can be altered to “holy” and “ivy” to “ivory”, thus adding to the idea that a mythical unicorn is more along the concept of an “ivory tower” which I have also associated with “castle in the air”. At any rate, this incorrect association is probably with me for life, even now in August of 2014.

Morning of December 21, 1969. Sunday.



In my dream, I am in the playground of West Elementary School (which I attended in real life at the time). I find myself with a book, which may be “Our World Today: Europe and Europe Overseas”, which is what I had been thinking about prior to sleep. (This was a very old textbook, for a higher grade, of which had not been used by the school in years and of which my teacher gave me after I read the word “banana” when it was hyphenated to the next line. I was thankful, but saw her act as a bit peculiar.) Later in my dream, I sense that it is a book of fairy tales or perhaps the Holy Bible (though it is not thick enough to be the Holy Bible). (This association was prescient, as I received a Holy Bible as a birthday gift from a friend of my mother’s, which arrived a couple days after my birthday. Otherwise, there is an influence from an episode of “The Jackie Gleason Show” seen prior to sleep, where he, as the Poor Soul, was whisked away to fairlyand.)

After I hold the book for a time, while sitting on the concrete bench in the northwest corner of the playground, it pulls me into the air. I feel vaguely dizzy and experience an atypical flight, which is a sustained awareness of liminal space (although I am only semi-lucid). I go high into the sky and then swoop to the ground a few times while holding onto the book.

Eventually, at least three classmates are hanging on in a ladder-like form, that is, each additional student hanging onto the ankles of the one above them. Toby is one of them as well as Tina, and then Bobby. At one point, I notice it seems to be just before sunrise, although there is enough daylight to discern some detail. Eventually, I deliberately fly up, and out of the dream state in the manner of which I had exited many dreams. In this case, I had tried to hold onto the book in order to wake up with it, but I woke while gripping my pillow.

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When I was very young, I occasionally had an absurd notion of pulling items out of my dreams, primarily books and coins, though only while still in the dream state and only in partial lucidity.

As I grew older, I began to understand part of the reason for this. Both books and coins more distinctly represent emergent consciousness factors (though for entirely different reasons) and both change in appearance in dreams (often into surreal nonsense) after looking at them again due to the dream state being an illusion. Reading text in a dream is possible, as I have often read in dreams, but the text typically changes when looking at it again and typically becomes unreadable gibberish when my dream self’s imaginary visual clarity increases toward waking. In the case of coins, I learned it was an attempt to stabilize my emergent consciousness, both in the concept of coins gathering (coalescence factor, because when one starts dreaming, memories begin to distort and separate so that the conscious self identity is no longer extant until the waking transition) to become whole again (such as a one-dollar bill). Additionally, the heads on coins are static (unmoving), which represents the dream self’s absence of perceptual viability and intelligence.

This dream is mainly a result of vestibular system ambiguity, which occurs in over twenty percent of the tens of thousands of dreams I have studied and resolved since early childhood. While unconscious and entering the waking transition, being horizontal in bed is in biological conflict with the misperception of the dream self, which results in an infinite variety of features and events associated with flight, falling, and rising. Over the years, through understanding the nature of the dream state, I have learned to maintain subliminal awareness in dreams that are otherwise not viably lucid, and I often effortlessly take to the air in dreams instead of walking (though the dream self has no physical body unless it wants to). Additionally, the human ladder is redundant autosymbolism (as to flight triggered by natural vestibular system ambiguity) as it also represents leaving the dream state (climbing back to the state of consciousness).

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Resupplemented on Thursday, 8 February 2018.

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Morning of December 21, 1969. Sunday.



I am in the high school auditorium (which was used for entertainment for students grades one to five, the elementary school being the next block over from the high school) and there is a large marionette stage of the kind where a square window opens at the front, near the top, to reveal a clown face during intermissions (while the stage was changed for the next act of the story), who talked about the events of the story. (These were excellent and detailed productions, my favorite being “Pinocchio”.)

Although other schoolmates are present, I end up focused on Tina, who puts her hands over her eyes and says, “I’m dreaming”. My dream self not fully considering what she had said, I still end up floating in the air and slowly flying toward the stage. I notice the head at the top is more like a Greek bust. Instead of a marionette stage, I then seem to be in a television studio, with some distorted (incorrect) scenes from “The Jackie Gleason Show” of the previous night. I am somewhat wary as I do not want to draw attention or interrupt the filming of the show even though I am semi-lucid.

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I eventually learned that a stage was autosymbolism for being in the dream state, typically in semi-lucidity or apex lucidity. Flying (as well as falling or other movement) is a biological result of vestibular system ambiguity in unconsciousness. Over one in five of my dreams involve flying or flight symbols. (On a side note, the belief that falling dreams evolved out of primates naturally developing this as an alert factor based on falling out of trees, thus being possible prey, is actually pointless, since the vestibular system would naturally trigger this anyway by already extant biological design, inherent ambiguity of the same factor as flying dreams.)

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Resupplemented on Thursday, 8 February 2018.

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Morning of December 14, 1979. Friday.



I perceive myself as being someone else; an unknown male of about forty. I seem to be planning where soldiers will go by using a large map that covers a table, and I point out locations as other males stand around watching. The country that the war is against is unknown, but is possibly China (though it may also be somewhere in Africa, though that seems illogical in conscious afterthought).

Over time, it becomes obvious that I have made a mistake, in that a large yellow butterfly has landed on the map, by which I am then incorrectly designating features of the butterfly’s wings as being rivers, rivulets, and locations of possible villages. The people observing and listening to my instructions do not seem that concerned or amused, but I notice a few walking away.

The butterfly has landed so that its head is over a delta and its superimposition also creates the illusion that its bottom half is over the ocean or other body of water. At one point, I am trying to work out where the perimeter of the butterfly ends and the map details begin.

When I look up, many people have gone to a different table, where at least three unfamiliar males, possibly astronauts in blue coveralls, are looking at a larger map on a table, one male pointing at it with a pointing stick. (This scene was directly influenced by a View-Master “Project Apollo” frame, which I gazed at many times as a boy.)

I am somewhat puzzled. The butterfly has made my presentation problematic but now I am vaguely unsure if the meeting was about going to war, or returning to Earth. Somehow, “returning to Earth” does not seem quite right as it would entail that we are not on Earth presently (though this is not certain either).

Explanation:

Over twenty percent of my dreams since early childhood have rendered return-to-consciousness symbolism as related to flight, though always unique, with positive, negative, or neutral imagery which often seems unrelated to waking life (though is sometimes validated as prescience). This is obviously based on subliminally anticipated hypnopompic effects, mainly including the feeling of falling (which is spontaneous and biological, without the pretense of “interpretation”).

The concept of war in this case is related to the “struggle” of the fictional dream self, the transient identity and neural patterns changing via the dynamics of emergent consciousness and beginning wakefulness, which is sometimes represented by the color yellow (though red when I have been sleeping too long). It is also seen as a “journey”. In this case, it is even more obvious by the questioning of whether we are on Earth. Technically, we are not, as it is the dream state and I am not walking around on the real Earth.

There are some curious layers here including “delta” as an association with sleep as well as ocean waves, a play on “delta waves” (relating to deeper sleep rather than REM). It is also associated with the song “Delta Dawn” (sunrise). Water is my most common association with being in the dream state (and its sound has been used in virtually endless commercial relaxation recordings to bring about sleep). The butterfly creates an illusion of “returning to land”, which is akin to returning to the real world from the dream state (as thousands of my dreams have been proven to contain this same type of waking symbolism, though always unique).

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Night of December 13, 1969. Saturday.



Ralph the Carpenter from “Green Acres” (played by Mary Canfield) is in my room in the middle of the night. She needs to do work on my bed (obvious dream sign) but which is also a wooden airplane (flight symbol and typical autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation) that apparently flies. She apologizes for waking me after I absentmindedly look up at what sounds somewhat like hammering. The boards are at different angles including several over my head but apparently my airplane is still okay to fly. She says something about the school bus (or catching the school bus) at one point (even though it is the weekend - which I try to recall the nature of in the back of my mind) and something about my cat Snowball. Soon, I am aware my bed is flying - with not that much concern (or focus) over her probable incompetence, though that is only a very loose association as I do not feel much movement and I am seemingly still in my room in the same position. I hear a soft engine which sounds in the distance (or underneath me and not very loud) though it is somehow meant to be “my airplane” of which I am supposedly in. I am not doing anything (that is, I am not acting as a pilot) even though my “airplane” has eventually supposedly gone a far distance. I am in bed as I was, with my eyes closed wondering where I am going. There is the typical essence of indoor-outdoor ambiguity (somehow being simultaneously indoors and outdoors).

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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Night of December 12, 1969. Friday.



This dream seemed to last all night into the next morning but with several false awakenings. Regardless of it being somewhat nightmarish, it is one of my favorites from childhood. This was yet another dream where Pepto-Bismol pink dominated some aspects of the dream elements. It also involves another early attempt at tulpa creation (as with the “Cobra in the Hayloft” dream). This is still the original dream journal title from age eight and the first version of this dream theme as far as I know.

In an early part of the dream, my pillow seems to have moving imagery on it somewhat like a television screen. There is a scene with the “MGM lion” logo roaring (as at the beginning of a movie) except that the lion has been replaced by a triceratops. (It is possible that the small portable heater had been on a few times, which sometimes made a rattling noise and provided a slight glow in the room.)

Over time, I develop a very intense, clear, and focused lucidity and am able to control the somewhat phosphorescent images on the pillow. Once I gain more faith and expectation, I also gain a sense of being able to communicate with the white family cat, Snowball, or at least get her to understand my ideas somehow. The cat had been in the room throughout the dream; in reality as well, I think.

Throughout the night, seemingly, there are different “games” played with the imagery on the pillow. One amusing scene involves the word “dots” appearing on my pillow several times, like a grid-like pattern (after I had watched actual polka dots for a time). As I put more intent into the manifestation, the words rotate and then say “stop” like some sort of “tingly warning”. Another image that flows across the pillow is a sequence of letter Zs, in a snake-like fashion. It is similar to watching projected images from a slide projector moving about on the surface of the pillow (and part of the sheet at times).

I also seem aware of a loud snoring (on and off) over the few hours that the dream seems to last. I used to think it was my father (and one story I wrote based on the dream did imply that), but my father’s room was in another part of the house at the other end beyond the hallway and would not have been that loud, I do not think. It was either my own or solely in-dream, but certainly seemed vivid and made the dinosaur’s sounds seem more threatening somehow, through the false awakenings - yet at the same time was a reassurance at one level of thought in a particular liminal state at random times.

“Look Snowball, I can make a monster appear,” I say with confidence (and again feel the in-dream “tingling”). Instead of the imagery appearing on the pillow, a “real” full-sized triceratops appears standing near my bedside, facing east (where my head is). (The bed is along the south wall, head at the southeast corner at the time, both in the dream and in reality. The bed had occupied several different locations in the room during the time I lived there. This particular setup was the farthest from all the large jalousie windows during the winter.) The triceratops makes a “snoring growling” sound, very vivid and convincing, but mostly just remains in the same standing position as if I might still have some level of control over it. There is an eerie glow of Pepto-Bismol pink from it (which does not fully light up the room). The cat seems a bit nervous but does not run off.

I seem to shift into another state and realize it was only a very vivid and lucid dream with the appearance of the dinosaur seeming like part of a false awakening (though I was lucid dreaming, I had a partial sense I might be partly awake and watching hypnagogic events projected onto the pillow as was sometimes the case in reality). I think about getting back into the same state, because it was quite intriguing. However, the dream eventually takes on a lesser vividness and my lucidity lowers as well. In the last section, the dream is non-lucid. I am out of my bedroom and in a sleeping bag on the living room floor (southwest area of the room), apparently having been placed here by my mother either due to a monster being in my room or being “safer” there for some other reason. From here, the triceratops appears again (but is a darker mossy green, not pink) and I sense it is getting closer to my face as I slowly wake.