Blue_Opossum

Morning of January 3, 2017. Tuesday.



In my dream, I am living in an unknown residence. I am only vaguely aware of my family as they are now. I am in a cold indoor environment in the wintertime (even though it is very warm in real life). To my right is a large hot water heater of an unrealistic design and which nearly reaches the ceiling. There is also a furnacelike feature near the top.

I have an object that resembles a circuit board. A few wires are sticking out. By rubbing two wires together I can start a fire and make the room warmer. There is a ramp along the wall. After several attempts to get a fire going, a small fire finally starts. The entire circuit board is soon ablaze. I am enjoying it until I notice a couple of additional flames higher up that may or may not have come from my activity with the circuit board.

There is an unfamiliar young male present at one point. He points out that the hot water tank is now releasing sizzling water. I unplug the hot water tank and the water stops squirting from various areas of the tank, especially near the top.

I grab a white plastic bucket and fill it with water from the faucet. I fling it upwards but see that I will have to climb up to make sure all the flames are doused. When I get to the top near the ceiling I notice the top of the wall opens into another room. It is like an attic with a low ceiling. An older woman (of perhaps sixty) is sitting close to my side and an unknown young girl is sitting on a couch across the room and reading a book. The fire seems to be going out.

I apologize to the unknown female but she does not seem angry or annoyed. Looking down at a table in the implied doorway of this unlikely room (though I think it is some sort of open vent that is not meant to serve as a door), I see a Gold Key “Star Trek” comic book (which is a real-life cover of a comic book I have not had in years). The top of the cover’s image is nearest me so is upside-down. There seem to be a couple of burn marks on it and it also appears mostly in grays.

I say, “Oh, I have this comic book,” and the woman says, “I know, I gave it to you”. This puzzles me at first, but I do not say anything else about the comic book.

“I had my gloves sitting there,” she says, indicating that she had a pair of gloves sitting on the “Star Trek” comic book. She seems to be implying that the fire had burned them up completely. I tell her that it is unlikely as there were only a few small flames which had gone out quickly. I slowly wake while wondering what else to say.

---

Dream state and waking process autosymbolism fully explained here:

Lucid dreams are not the same as controlled dreams. You can be lucid and not in control of either the dream environment or the dream body. You can direct and modulate the dream without lucidity. Dream control is a separate state than maintaining self-awareness in the dream. Lucid dreaming is not a “skill” (and for me has always been a natural state since earliest memory). Neither is dream control, though it does become fundamental upon understanding dream state autosymbolism and how RAS (reticular activating system) mediation works.

My dynamic and transient subconscious self in non-lucidity, because of isolation from both my unconscious mind and my conscious self, does not usually possess viable memory of waking life or reasoning skills. The rendering of the hot water heater is a thread of the liminal awareness of my physical body being too warm in my real environment, and is rendered to my dream self’s right as I sleep on my left side (my right more liminally aware of the real environment as a result). The cool fictitious environment is a result of a liminal thread of the conscious desire to be cooler. Additionally, water is autosymbolism for the depth and dynamics of sleep.

Liminal dream state awareness is inherent (a liminal realization of being in the dream state, yet without being lucid; a result of synaptic OR gating; my conscious self being aware I am dreaming while my dream self is not) and liminal dream control (the circuit board as autosymbolism for RAS mediation). Synaptic gating is triggered from the liminal awareness that water is sleep and fire is waking (achieving consciousness). However, I non-lucidly sustain and control my dream at this point before the preconscious factor renders a young male to caution me on modulating my dream due to my real-life environment being too warm. (This is a “primitive” but very important biological mechanism, just as the autosymbolic call to wake and use the toilet is). “I unplug the hot water tank”. I moderate my intent of dream state sustainment and reinduction, though I still have a tentative desire to sustain my dream by throwing water from a bucket.

I decide to enter the waking space willingly. I liminally seek out the RAS bulwark and find the liminal space divider (that otherwise separates the dream self identity from the conscious self identity). This is rendered as the unusual opening into what is implied to be an attic and is a form of sustained doorway waking autosymbolism. The attic relates to higher thinking skills (and also has an association with the thalamus in contrast to RAS) that are only viable when awake. RAS personification (as the old woman) is rendered. The usual vestibular system autosymbolism becomes the focus but is rendered in static form as a “Star Trek” comic book cover, which additionally signifies the sustainment of the liminal space transition and the lessening of waking start anticipation (which is typically experienced as the falling sensation of which is solely biological). Additionally, I am in the timeless transpersonal stage where it could be said that the old woman and young girl are both versions of my wife Zsuzsanna on opposite sides of the timeline.

Personified RAS (transforming into this dream’s emergent consciousness factor) talks about her gloves having been on the comic book. (The fire had gone out, as the waking alert factor is no longer needed.) This is subtle autosymbolism of the knowledge of dream state modulation, as hands and gloves represent potential control of the dream state. There is also the implication of the control of vestibular system dynamics in this case as evidenced by the gloves being atop the static flight symbol imagery. Gloves additionally augment the illusion of physicality. (The dream self does not have a real physical body, and a practice that some lucid dreamers utilize is looking at their hands as a “reality check” to see if they look unusual or have the wrong number of fingers.)

---

Morning of May 16, 2018. Wednesday.



In my dream, I find myself looking at Facebook. The technology is not rendered correctly. There is a monitor at first, but this dream becomes of the usual “paper technology” type.

I notice a comment on my timeline. It reads, “Stop posting fake pictures” - in reference to real photographs that Zsuzsanna and I had posted of our youngest daughter. This annoys me. I respond by writing, in handwriting with a pen, on a page in a spiral notebook, though somehow also going to my Facebook page, “You are a moron” and “That is our daughter, you moron”. I eventually write a number of longer sentences. He is from another site (a music site for musicians) that I used to post on that no longer exists, though in my dream, there is also a vague composite association with a classmate from the 1970s and who is also on my friend’s list.

In actuality, the poster is fictitious and not realistically based on a real person on my friend’s list. His username in my dream is “beasts” (written exactly as such in lowercase and plural for some reason), which I see written clearly several times (even though print is most often not consistent in the dream state). There is a vague association with a real poster by a different name, but he has never been confrontational in this way.

By the end of my dream, it continues to follow the same typical association with computer technology being rendered on paper, yet somehow working with the Internet. I flip through the pages of my spiral notebook, looking at other instances of when he made comments on other people’s posts, and which the paper somehow “refreshes” the comments without my dream self discerning the impossible erroneous association. It also has the usual “activation” by sweeping or pressing my finger on the page as if on an iPhone.

---

This is the usual thinking skills correlation as waking process autosymbolism. I even had a carryover to my dream of the next day (“Pet Brontosaurus and Fake Mad Magazine?”), where my subconscious self perceives a Mad Magazine as fake, which, because it is the dream state, is indeed “fake” when compared with the consistent validity of waking life. The influence may also come from the rough association with a real poster calling Facebook “Fakebook”.

Curiously enough, I was, as is often the case, vaguely aware while in my dream of the RAS factor and its personification as the otherwise fictitious Facebook user “beasts” (as the RAS function is often also rendered as a wild animal depending on the dream, its core form being a snake). Somehow though, this unusual type of synaptic gating did not entail lucidity of any kind. In dreams, I am often aware of the presence of RAS or the preconscious (and even the meaning of a dream’s autosymbolism while still in the dream, as distinct from hypnopompic disclosure) and it almost always has the same mood and essence as in early childhood. Yet curiously, this is often not enough to trigger in-dream awareness of the dreaming status itself (though does sometimes serve as such).

---

Morning of May 17, 2018. Thursday.



My non-lucid dream self becomes aware of being in a new variation of the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house (where I have not been since 1978) rather than our own present bedroom. As is most often the case, it is perceived as part of our present home. I am aware of being married and having a family as in real life (even though my family has never been to America). They mostly appear as they do now in reality. My youngest son is the one I am most aware of in this case.

Near the center of the room is a living brontosaurus. It is small; only about three feet long. Our kitten from real life is near it. I eventually notice that the brontosaurus has short fur (which I vividly feel as I pet it), which puzzles me somewhat. I start to consider that it may grow too big to keep as a pet and I wonder what will happen to it or what we will do. This also puzzles me but I think about how it may be genetically engineered and so may not get as big as it would otherwise. I pet it for several minutes as it lies on its left side on the floor.

Something scares it, possibly the kitten, and it gets up and runs to the north side of the room. It hides under a bookshelf (one of the tall cheap plastic ones that have a space underneath, though in reality, there would not be enough space for a small animal). I reach for it but cannot quite get to it at first. I do eventually, and pull it out to calm it.

Later, I notice it is bigger, about the size of a young person. It looks very different and is walking around on its back legs and is wearing clothes. There are a few unknown people in the room, mostly around twelve years old. The brontosaurus looks just like a person at times. I consider how he is able to pull his head down so that his neck is no longer than that of a normal person. He talks at times. A girl calls him a “funny looking person” and the brontosaurus says, “I’m not a person”.

My youngest son has about five Mad Magazines, which I had not seen before. They may be recent issues. “Are these from the library?” I ask. Apparently, they are ours. I sit on the middle of the couch on the south side of the room. My son is to my right. My memory of our brontosaurus pet and its transformation is no longer present. I look at the cover of one issue and it is a painting of Alfred E. Newman’s head. Looking more closely, I see that the painted image has a very strange texture, like woven wicker. The paper itself seems to also hold this pattern. I decide that this means it may be counterfeit. “This looks like it might be a fake,” I say.

I look through the issue and see that from about halfway through the pages, the texture of the page seems normal. I notice a four-panel black-and-white Don Martin gag, featuring a man and woman walking around in a city, though I do not read it. I look at several other pages without really attempting to read anything. I decide that the unusual nature of the cover and first pages may mean that it was only a misprint.

---

This dreaming and waking process is more specific to the last dream of a sleep cycle and it even begins in a thread that already establishes the subliminal awareness of being asleep (bedroom setting). The final scene renders very common autosymbolism that establishes an association with thinking skills correlation, a required precursor for actual reading. This is because the subconscious self cannot perform viably due to its dynamic nature and illusory nature of the dream state. (Writing or print in non-lucid dreams often changes when reading it again and it is often random gibberish. Temporality and discernment cannot be sustained in an illusory state of unconsciousness). This is used in the waking process quite often, several times a week for over fifty years in my case, though it is not as common as autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation.

Note how the brontosaurus, as an animal and illusory pet, hid under the bookshelf, which contained books. After this scene, coming out from under the bookshelf, it became more like a “person”, as human consciousness is required to read with viable discernment in waking life. This is the autosymbolic nature of the waking process that correlates to the last part of my dream, that is, being less of an illusion by way of initiating waking consciousness for reading and thinking skills, which the subconscious (analogous to a “primitive brontosaurus”) does not have. The analogy is duplicated by first perceiving the magazine as “fake”, which it is, as it exists only in the dream. Thus, it cannot be fully read and discerned (and it is even a composite of sorts, as it has the texture of our wicker bookshelf from real life), though from here, thinking skills correlation kicks in and I slowly wake. My son is on my right, the usual waking autosymbolism orientation, as I sleep on my left side (and left-side orientation would naturally imply the return to deeper sleep).

---

Morning of May 16, 2018. Wednesday.



I become aware of sitting on a couch in an unfamiliar office. From my left, two unfamiliar men had been talking to me, one at a desk (facing the same direction as I am, toward the opposite wall), the other standing farther back and facing me. There is also a door to my left, between me and the desk. Apparently, I am present to take on a new job in their factory. A special agency had apparently sent me here, though there is no definite backstory. I am to serve as a foreman. There is an extraordinarily vivid and focused awareness of being in the room, though I consider that I may have fallen asleep briefly as they were talking, but they do not seem to notice. I remain relaxed and confident as they speak. There are no threads of my conscious self identity present at all even though I feel like myself. Only one thread of my conscious self identity is present in the last scene.

The man who was standing walks over to a large bookshelf (against a wall perpendicular to the couch I am on and also to my left) and picks up, from the middle shelf, a large leather satchel or what resembles an oversized purse, though it may be implied to be an oversized backpack. They will be producing this item as I am working for them. The man demonstrates how the zipper opens and closes over the top. It does not seem finished. In fact, there seem to be parts of the device that was used to make it still attached to each side.

I decide to speak, to give them the impression I am attentive. “Is this item made manually,” I ask, “or is it set up on a machine?” I lift my arms up in front of me and make motions as if I am pulling a lever with each hand simultaneously. The male who is standing says something about machines, but is not clear on the answer. My dream self is not aware that the couch I am sitting on had suddenly rotated (with no feeling of movement) ninety degrees to the left so that it now faces the right side of the desk.

The man at the desk is looking over some documents. “You will only be watching each employee to make sure they are doing their work,” he says. He continues very seriously, “You are their master, and they are your slaves.” I find his statement slightly puzzling, but I do not say anything. It sounds like easy work, just watching someone else. I try to recall the agency that sent me, but I cannot think of the backstory of this scenario.

Soon, I am in a different room without putting much thought into it or even having gotten up at any point. The two men are still present, but one is facing me while sitting at a large table and the other is sitting on a kitchen counter. I still seem to be sitting on the “same” couch. The man on the counter is holding a mat of the type made from recycled tires, a product of a factory I first worked at when I was eighteen years old. It is not implied to be a product they will be making. In fact, it is missing much of its right side (my right) when held up vertically by the man. I tell them this and describe the manufacturing process to them. I again make motions with my hands and describe how it is put together. “They start by slicing the tires into strips,” I say, “and then they put the spacers between the strips. Mostly all there is on that side are the metal rods holding it together.” I then describe how the metal rods are bent on a worktable. My dream eventually fades during this scene.

---

Again, the only thread of valid conscious self identity is in the last scene, though that is a very old thread from about forty years ago and even so, rendered into an otherwise fictitious scenario. I continue to find it interesting how many non-lucid dreams have no associations with current waking life at all and I always remain baffled as to why so many people believe in waking-life-related “interpretation” above any real attempt to understand the dream state. In this case, even the autosymbolic nature of the dream state does not seem fully active other than the usual preconscious factor and the implied thinking skills correlation to initiate waking life consciousness. In addition to getting me to focus on thinking processes, my dream self’s status is seen by how the mat is incomplete on its right side, as waking autosymbolism is oriented to the right. It implies, while in my dream, that my bed is solid underneath me on my left side (analogous to a mat one steps upon). Thus, the essence and imagery of this final dream feature is more “solid” on my left, while waking reality, the openness to my real environment (right side), is causing my dream to render this fact with biological environmentally-based autosymbolism (my dream self’s awareness of my real environment is incomplete in this scene, thus that side of the mat is incomplete). This type of autosymbolism has been rendered in virtually countless previous dreams.

---

Morning of May 15, 2018. Tuesday.



My dream self exists in non-lucidity in this dream, with the usual separation from viable conscious self identity. I am apparently living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house in Florida (where I have not lived since 1978), which somehow seems to be erroneously associated with living in Australia while in my dream, though it is the sole thread of my current conscious self identity.

There are two dumpsters in the front yard, which is smaller than in reality, and closer to the highway. I had apparently been cleaning the house and I am ready to get rid of some things.

I have two stacks of thin wooden letters of which are seemingly identical. Each stack contains at least the entire alphabet and perhaps some extra letters. Each letter is about four inches high. I have no use for them, so I am going to put them in the dumpster. However, I am distracted by finding two handwritten letters from Dennis (older half-brother on my mother’s side). The content of the two letters seems identical. I read both. I notice a sentence that says something like, “It is too bad that people did not use the letters and do not want to see LIFE” (only “LIFE” being printed in uppercase). I take this as an egotistical statement from him in thinking people have to respond to whatever he wants them to do. It seems like he somehow knows I am throwing the wooden letters out even though he had written the letters a few years previously. (This of course is due to the autosymbolic nature of the dream state, which many people cannot seem to grasp at all.)

The top letter on one pile is letter X. At another point, I am looking at the letters T and F, and focus on their horizontal wood grain. There is a distortion where I associate the letters with being “corrugated”, though this is incorrect, as they are not corrugated. It is probably a liminal association with the synaptic “gating” of the dream state; a play on my dreaming “core is gated”, validated by the liminal space autosymbolism of a roof being the core space between dream self and conscious self, as the carport roof in Florida was corrugated tin).

This dream then, while still in my dream, becomes associated with a very old random memory from around 1982 that surfaced the other day for no apparent reason; an event from when I was in woodshop class. Dennis had given me some very small wooden shelf railings, with short columns shaped somewhat like Chess pawns (known as “spindle railing” for shelves - shelves of this nature can be seen by image Googling “spindle railing shelf” without the quotes). He wanted them back before I got a chance to do any work on them as he had asked. I suspect that this was this dream’s vestibular system autosymbolism, which has been my most common form of dream state autosymbolism since earliest memory, as the wooden railing resembles a wooden ladder (associated with the waking transition of the dream state).

Additionally, the fictitious wooden letters from Dennis are a form of typical consciousness initiation (as discernment of printed text is not viable or consistent in the dream state so this is often used to initiate awareness of conscious self skills and the waking alert factor). I suspect there was also a distortion of “letter” with “ladder” (because of the direct transformation of the association while still in my dream), as viable thinking skills are not possible in non-lucid dream states. The correlation in this case is likely coincidental. Many factors of the English language developed this way, apparently by chance rather than intent. Thus, there is “letter” - increasing discernment of waking identity - followed by “ladder” - autosymbolic prop for waking identity. The sentence by Dennis is also a waking alert factor as it implies seeing real life outside of the dream state and not seeing dreams as always having waking life meaning as some people do.

---

Morning of May 14, 2018. Monday.



In my dream, a rare event with a (fictitious) computer game is rendered. (There is no waking life source for any of the imagery or content and I have not played any sort of computer game in real life for months.) The setting is unknown, though it is implied to be our present home. As my dream self is not my conscious self, my dream self ignores the fictitious environment as not being our real home as is most often the case, and accepts it as our home. Still, there is always the potential for liminal dream control (dream control without lucidity or even recall of what a dream is).

The main goal of the game has something to do with touching objects to the television screen to make parts of the image disappear (a clever play on synaptic gating while in the dream state). The television is larger than our real one. The image is that of what is apparently an unrealistic (cartoon) dragon. There is not much else, that is, no presence of a defined background or setting.

Before RAS mediation kicks in, I play one game level while sitting on a couch a few feet from the large television. I have some sort of patch that was utilized in the code, of which allows the objects needed to materialize automatically in the container on my lap, supposedly without going through other levels or meeting certain challenges of the game. These objects look like dinosaur and dragon limbs and so on, and again, the correct pieces must be touched to the television screen to make the correlating image on the screen disappear (which realistically, is ridiculously easy, though again, their materialization is based upon other challenges when not using the cheat patch). I successfully do this in the first instance of the game.

RAS mediation kicks in, and a form of RAS personification, an unknown young male, is rendered to my right, also sitting on the couch. I talk to him about the patch that makes the game quicker to play and win. However, I forget to press F2 to activate the patch and this results in an error. The objects that materialize in the container on my lap are more random. One of them is some sort of brush with a short handle, somewhat like a miniature stiff paintbrush. I get up and use it on the television screen, but it scratches the screen near the top and does not make any part of the image disappear. I notice a few long diagonal scratches and I am annoyed, as this has ruined part of the screen. I tell the unknown male that I had forgotten to press F2, and that random objects had appeared in the container as a result.

I go off to inform Zsuzsanna of this, and looking back, see that the scratches are only visible at certain angles, but they will probably still cause picture distortion. I look again when coming back into the room and see small equidistant rectangular “windows” in the screen on the upper right, as if parts of the screen had been deliberately cut out. I know that I had not caused this damage and I am puzzled. My brother-in-law Bob (not seen since 1994, when I left America) walks about randomly. I also notice a number of other people but I do not feel imposed upon in this case. My dream fades.

---

Well, the imagery of the cartoon orange dragon, I just saw at the very top of the newsfeed on Facebook after writing this (as most of my dreams contain imagery, at one point or another, of something I see a short time later in real life - I do not consider this unusual, only something that people cannot explain, though many just deny it due to it being beyond their understanding and apparent experience). Thus, the “no waking life source” I wrote above instead turned out to have the usual prescience, which was a drawing (of a dragon) another dream journalist had posted on Facebook, additionally oriented as in my dream (facing left). I did not use that picture for this entry, as I did not ask them. (It had been posted 14 hours ago at this time, but this is the first time I had seen it.) Instead, I used a similar image as from my dream.

The rest of my dream is typical autosymbolism for the dream state and waking transition. The small seemingly cutout sections of the television screen represent our four clerestory windows in real life, a literal factor of real life integrating into the otherwise fictitious dream setting. A window, as well as a television screen, is an autosymbolic function that serves as a liminal space divider, the barrier between the transient fictitious dream self and the conscious self identity in waking life. (Liminal space dividers are rendered to prevent the development of false memories as the result of the dream state, especially as most dream content comes from the transpersonal levels of the preconscious and interconsciousness, not the unconscious of which is far more accessible in waking life anyway). As a dragon often has wings, this is the usual vestibular system correlation.

---

Morning of May 13, 2018. Sunday.



I find myself in an unfamiliar park at night. Zsuzsanna is present but is only about eighteen years old. My conscious self identity is not extant, though I want to be with Zsuzsanna, though it is implied we have not yet spent time together. Her father is present at one point. There is a cheerful atmosphere. A number of strange events take place with the typical timeline distortions and setting alterations. Part of the park has a cemetery, as has sometimes been the case in dreams since childhood.

At one point, Zsuzsanna is standing near me and something invisible pushes her from her right. I wave my hand to make it visible and it is a tyrannosaurus of a somewhat yellowish color. It is not rendered very realistically and I wave it off.

In one scene, I wave my hands in front of a small audience. The expectation is to cause trees to uproot and to float in the air as well as headstones being lifted from the ground to float in the air. It does not happen right away, which puzzles me (even though I am not lucid), but there is some eventual movement.

In one of the last vivid scenes, I want to be with Zsuzsanna but I am puzzled by having barnacles growing from my left shoulder and upper left arm. I realize that this is not a serious medical condition, but I think it might make me undesirable. The barnacles jut out to about two inches.

In the last sequence, Zsuzsanna is standing near me and about six people, mostly in white with numbers on their tank tops, run toward us, though we are not directly in their path, so they run past us. Soon after this, what I first consider is a wheel rolls toward us. I turn to look behind me as it rolls down the path. It turns to the right and seems to jump and then rolls a short distance into a field before stopping. The scene shifts to where I am on the Barolin Street house’s porch without realizing I had lived here once or remembering that a porch has been common autosymbolism for the waking space of a dream since early childhood.

An unknown male of about twenty is present on the porch (the preconscious). He has a backpack and had been in the marathon. He is also a skydiver. Apparently, the “wheel” that rolled and jumped was his parachute wrapped up in the circular shape and it somehow got away from him. I cheerfully tell him of how it seemed to somehow jump on its own from the side of the road, implying that it might indicate a supernatural “I am” held by the parachute itself, as if it possessed consciousness.

---

Working at decoding in reverse, the last scene is the very common (once per sleep cycle for over fifty years) vestibular system correlation autosymbolism and personification of the vestibular system factor by way of the preconscious. (This always represents a subliminal anticipation of the return to consciousness due to the nature of the falling start, which is solely biological.)

The barnacle scene is from “Barnacle Bill the Sailor”, a rather ribald song my father used to perform fairly often in public. Still, the lines I laughed at the most as a child were “I’ll come down and let you in,” (sang three times in a falsetto voice), said the fair young maiden. “Well, hurry before I bust the door,” says Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Therefore, I suppose there is a very subtle liminal awareness of doorway autosymbolism as well as the autosymbolic nature of using a staircase (for changing the level of awareness in a dream). Still, there are usually transpersonal influences in levels of unconsciousness closer to waking. In this case, Zsuzsanna had been looking at a pirate outfit for a small teddy bear (which additionally is a dream state indicator), which I had not known about, so there are always intriguing external correlations and synchronicity.

The tyrannosaurus scene is a throwback to childhood dreams where I had liminal dream control and created chase scenes without my dream self fully perceiving the source of the dream events by way of the preconscious (which is how dreams are mainly rendered, not by way of the unconscious, which the dream self does not have viable access to, or so-called subconscious, as the dream self is the subconscious personified, and without much intelligence or memory unless lucid).

The cemetery is often perceived as the factor of the conscious self not being extant in the dream state, the same aspect that creates certain types of ghost autosymbolism.

---

Morning of May 12, 2018. Saturday.



Despite the atypical nature of this dream, I still firstly took it to be the usual RAS modulation and waking alert process with little or no real life associations, but I did consider its differently perceived nature as possibly being of a literally prescient thread, as I otherwise get those all the time. I considered if something would happen to where my legs actually ended up bleeding. I should have realized that this was only one possible factor. As is often the case, it was very impersonal on most levels in how it played out.

My dream is very vivid. There is not what I would refer to as a false awakening, although there is an unusual reset of my dream. Somehow, I had apparently scratched at least one of my legs, though the blood is on both legs. I see it a lot of it soaked into the sheets as well. I tell Zsuzsanna about it but I do not seem to be in immediate danger, despite the blood loss. I have never had a dream in my lifetime of this specific nature, so I was puzzled. I know RAS modulation can take any form, but why this at this specific time.

Sure enough, I ended up looking at YouTube (without really planning on it, as the site does not work very well for me anymore, probably because I have so much of the Internet blocked from my system), seeing a video I had never heard of or seen before. One of the first scenes was a man in a bed with bleeding legs. This happens continuously, that is, my dreams having imagery or events as a precursor to what I see a bit later after waking. Still, it causes me to question why in this case, as it was related to a video I was to see and not my physical body or environment as implied by my dream.

---

Morning of May 9, 2018. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am living back on Barolin Street, but there is not much else regarding conscious self identity. In fact, there is uncertainty over the country the setting is implied to be in, though I should assume Australia even though the police sound and act American. There is more of an open area and a larger side yard on the south side of the house.

The typical preconscious modulation kicks in and it is an unfamiliar male of about thirty. Curiously, in this case, I am outside the porch rather than on it or in the house. I jab him just below the sternum with a stick (or possibly the handle of a broom) and it seems to go all the way through his body and out his back. Still, I am uncertain of whether or not I killed him. Even so, I stay outside while he apparently falls back into the porch. This of course causes a shift in unconsciousness, though my dream continues.

When I am in the side yard, three police officers arrive. I first think I may go to prison, though it is never determined if the man had actually died or not. Suddenly, there are several unknown members of the public sitting around at picnic tables.

There are two male police officers and one female officer, all unfamiliar. The two male officers start to be cheerfully condescending of me being South American (even though I am not). To my left, they dance happily around while a mix of music plays, which seems an ambiguous combination of Mexican Mariachi, Bolivian, and Andean. They are greatly enjoying themselves and dance around smiling at me but seem to be patronizing me with their tomfoolery. I am not sure how to respond and I remain sitting at the picnic table. One of them puts on a poncho and talks cheerfully about me, additionally asking me how I like living in South America. I do not say much.

Finally, in the last scene, the female officer talks happily to me. Apparently, I will not be getting into any trouble at all even though I suspect I killed the intruder. I am vaguely aware of manipulating the RAS mediation (as is often the case), actually feeling the change over time, though I have no actual lucidity (thus, this is the common transition of liminal dream control experienced since earliest memory), and that the RAS personification had gone in my favor without its modulation. I feel good about the waking transition, though my conscious self identity does not fully kick in until I am awake.

---

Morning of May 11, 2018. Friday.



There is some sort of situation where an unknown older woman is at our house and demonstrating how an unrecognized cleaning machine works. She is apparently going to sell it. The house is unfamiliar but seems to be implied to have a facet of the Loomis Street house, though mostly unrecognizable as such. The machine looks somewhat like a large floor polisher but also seems to serve as a vacuum cleaner at the same time.

As she goes from a room into another room, I go in to see the condition of the floor. The “floor” at this point is actually loose dirt. I go over to check a bookcase and see that the bottom shelf is slightly blocked off by the height of the dirt floor. I reach down and I am able to take out a book on art. I consider that the floor can be evened out later.

I am then sitting in bed looking at the art book. There is conversation regarding the woman, who is talking to Zsuzsanna, having two of these machines and something about taking one back or both back and later returning with the one we are buying. I am unsure of the cost. One is secondhand and one is new.

The woman looks at my book and me and starts to make negative inferences about people who use paper or have books. This annoys me, so I make an indirect reference that implies that I think she is crazy. I make a comment about “deranged” people who are against people having books, though implying other people that I have heard this about. This makes her angry. I then say, “What about all the people who still get newspapers?” I get the impression that she thinks it is okay to get newspapers (though I remain uncertain) but not okay to have books (possibly because newspapers are recycled). The argument is not that dramatic and is not really like an argument at all. I have my book open to three photographs, one on one page, two on the other. They feature engraved images from Greece, including a light coppery one of Perseus.

There is another unknown person; a male; who may be living in the same house as the woman, who apparently lives directly across the street and stands near the front door for a short time. I get the idea that the woman will be difficult to live in the same neighborhood with and I do not fully trust her concerning the sale of the machine, though I remain mostly cheerful.

---

This dream had a vague and ill-defined thread of either prescience or picking up on something around the time it was happening (with no way of me consciously knowing). In real life this morning, an unusual older woman had two mattresses and there was something about taking back a new mattress and leaving the old one in Zsuzsanna’s sister’s house. So although there was a hint of prescience or remote viewing (as is often the case) it was not correctly defined in this case.

There is an aspect of liminal dream control here, as not getting annoyed enough with the RAS modulation (the unknown woman seemingly disapproving of me) did not trigger waking and my dream was extended for perhaps ten minutes, even with the implication of picking out a book to initiate eventual consciousness, though in this case, it was an art book of which I did not see much writing. The dirt floor being higher than the bottom area of the book shelf along one wall correlates with the depth of REM sleep. The cleaning event is common and relates to the glymphatic system, of which is more active in sleeping and dreaming. The unknown male near the front door did not trigger preconscious modulation as it often does, probably because I was already in a bed (liminal awareness of being in the dream state).

---

Afternoon of May 10, 2018. Thursday.



Although these dreams are documented and at least partly explained in much more detail elsewhere, here is yet another rundown on several dreams of the same basic template. They are all forms of the same waking process autosymbolism but with different preconscious and emergent consciousness factors as well as different depths of liminal dream control. (Liminal dream control is control of the dream state without awareness of being in the dream state. This is due to understanding autosymbolism and the nature of the dream state by way of the virtuous circle effect.)

---

The Skunk (August 21, 1965; age 4). Doorway waking autosymbolism (doorway as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor (with emergent consciousness correlation): Ambiguous; unfamiliar girl around my age to an uncertain transformation of her being my mother coming in to wake me. RAS modulation factor: Implied by the curious girl wanting to see what sort of creature is in the center of the dark room. Emergent Consciousness Factor: Sleeping skunk that suddenly wakes up forming question mark imagery with the white part of its body. Brief liminal dream control in non-lucidity. My dream self is puzzled by sudden vague lucidity, briefly uncertain if dreaming or awake, thus the floating question mark.

Witch Cat (February 14, 1969; age 8). Doorway autosymbolism transmuted into using the doorway to sustain my dream in non-lucidity. Preconscious Factor: The unfamiliar black cat with human-like intelligence and magical ability. The cat’s head seems to float and move up just in front of my face (from where she is in the doorway) in an eerie startling event - which is my dream self using the waking alert factor to deliberately but liminally sustain my dream - thus transmuting what would otherwise have been the RAS modulation factor of this dream. This is liminal awareness of my own eye movement in REM sleep. As such, the emergent consciousness factor (the presence of the cat) is sustained until my dream fades. (Note that this is only one event of many for this dream.) Mainly influenced by “Bewitched”; the episode “Mrs. Stephens, Where Are You?“ where Serena turns Darrin’s mother into a cat, so this dream can be seen as modulating my dream by borrowing this plot in the liminal goal to keep my mother from waking me.

The Orange Monster (October 30, 1970; age 9). Doorway waking autosymbolism (doorway as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor: A hairy orange anthropomorphic monster had knocked on the front door. RAS modulation factor: The threat of a creature of unknown intentions at the door late at night. Emergent Consciousness Factor: The creature turns out to be my brother Jim, who is wearing a Halloween costume. Liminal dream control. Original threat transmuted into a familiar association with my cheerful brother Jim.

November Second Halloween (in three acts) (November 3, 1973; age 12). Doorway waking autosymbolism (doorway as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor: My best friend Toby (who remains unseen). RAS modulation factor: The threat of several dogs on the carport, though not a real threat unless I choose to open the door. Emergent Consciousness Factor: The “dogs” turning out to only be flat images on a large poster (photographic) put over the doorway (by Toby) while a cassette of dogs barking was playing on a table on the carport (liminal space setting). On one level, this can easily be seen as liminally modulating my dream over the original RAS modulation, based on many previous dreams where a dog was a challenge to apex lucidity (in my will to lucidly modulate the dream state, as a dog is autosymbolism for obedience).

Surprise Aardvark! (September 19, 1981; age 20). Checkout waking autosymbolism (checkout as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor: The implied cashier, though not present, though another dream character (unfamiliar female) goes to the checkout to take the role of the preconscious and drops a book behind the counter. RAS modulation factor: Not directly present, only implied by the “missing” cashier so that I do not “check out” of the dream state in a passive manner. Emergent Consciousness Factor: Sleeping aardvark that wakes up when the book is dropped, perceived as myself, starts talking and walks to the left (a liminal attempt at dream state reinduction). Brief liminal dream control in non-lucidity. The setting implies a library, which validates this as consciousness activation autosymbolism, as the non-lucid dream self does not possess viable reading skills (as most of what is read in the non-lucid dream state changes when looking back at it) or reasoning skills.

Snow Bear (November 17, 1982; age 21). Doorway waking autosymbolism (doorway as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor: Polar bear. RAS modulation factor: The threat of the polar bear that I had thus far evaded, including with projected staircase autosymbolism earlier in the dream and even perceiving a setting as upside-down. Emergent Consciousness Factor: Polar bear standing up in doorway when I open it while expecting a mailman delivering a package. Non-lucidity in RAS modulation. The polar bear becoming the preconscious to emergent consciousness factor in this case may be coincidentally based on the typical shift to doorway waking autosymbolism because of environmental noise - evidenced by expecting the mailman autosymbolism, which represents communication between the dream self and the conscious self identity in the waking transition, especially when there is a need to wake and attend to real physical needs or to discern the source of a noise.

Holographic Toy Tiger (March 14, 2016; age 55). Doorway waking autosymbolism (doorway as autosymbolism for the exit point of the dream state). Preconscious Factor to Emergent Consciousness Correlation: Zsuzsanna. RAS modulation factor: Sublimated (as toy tiger). Emergent Consciousness Factor: Stuffed toy tiger. Sustained liminal dream control in non-lucidity (the fake tiger still licks its lips upon seeing Zsuzsanna in the doorway). My dream self tries to safely intensify the dream state by testing tactility, which is here a dream state indicator (subliminal awareness of being in the dream state) as evidenced by the blanket and the “sleeping” tiger (stuffed toy that begins to have living attributes in the last segment). Liminal modulation of the dream state.

---

Morning of August 21, 1965. Saturday.



In early morning, I am walking through an outdoor maze-like area in an undetermined location with about six other children of whom are unfamiliar. On each side of the old and broken sidewalk are various unusual plants in flower boxes of about two feet high of which are adjacent to the sidewalk. Some of the plants are as high as about three feet, but many seem to be drying out, some stems almost straw-like. Some of the plants seem like oversized sandspurs (Cenchrus), though a few have attractive flowers. The area is possibly an abandoned plant nursery or the forgotten large garden of someone who had moved. There is conversation, but I mostly had only recalled a girl saying something about “the garden bed”.

Someone’s forgotten private garden may more likely be the case, as we eventually seem to be in the unmaintained backyard of a suburban residence.

There seems to be the presence of an unusual odor, firstly thought to be coming from some pale flowers.

We all walk closer to the back of the house. A girl in our small group opens the back door of this house. There appears to be something moving in the darkness in the center of the room. It is seemingly a skunk, but we can only see the white part of it very clearly. I suddenly become aware that it is startled and puzzled by our presence, and curiously, and very interestingly, the white part (body and tail) quickly form a question mark. The formation of the question mark, which seems to hover in the air (though I am still aware that a skunk is there) creates an intriguing sense of awe and surprise upon waking, as if the skunk’s surprise and puzzlement are my own; as if I am the skunk being awakened by the girl in the doorway.

At this last point, I am seemingly also immediately (without implied to have walked here) near the center of the dark room, looking at the white vertical question mark while seeing the girl’s silhouette in the doorway. I eventually consider that it is my mother coming in to look in on me as I am sleeping (a puzzling transformation of the girl around my age suddenly becoming an adult as well as briefly perceiving myself as a skunk).

---

This is one of many childhood dreams that taught me that dreams were based on the autosymbolic nature of the dream state and waking transition rather than having a waking life “interpretation”. The phrase “garden bed” in this case is an indicator that I am asleep and dreaming, though I do not become lucid here other than in the final moments.

The transition of the preconscious shifts from my dream self’s perspective to seeing the skunk as my emergent consciousness. As with many other dreams, the autosymbolism is directly based on the puzzlement of becoming aware that I am dreaming. (This is inherent to the foundational meaning of all waking process autosymbolism.)

The unknown girl in the doorway establishes this as doorway waking autosymbolism (a very common waking process). The door is autosymbolism for the impending exit from my dream in the final scene as well as the door to my real-life bedroom (and in fact, I have often used this knowledge for both liminal dream control and deliberately vivifying the dream state). It is a girl around my age due to the downscaling of my mother (who is usually the one to wake me while standing in my doorway).

The skunk and its intriguing transformation into a question mark represents my puzzlement in liminal space (dark featureless room in this case rather than a more defined autosymbolic liminal space construct such as a porch or parking lot), as well as a form of defense against the preconscious factor in my liminal focus of not wanting to get out of bed just yet even though my dream self’s vague intent is to find my way back to my conscious self identity (which is basically what a dream is).

---

I believe that this dream also had a precognitive thread, first validated in 1978 when my parents and I moved back to Wisconsin. The backyard and the back of the house in my dream seemed to match, in appearance, color, and orientation and distance (relative to the 901 Rose Street building we lived in on the second floor years previously), to the house my sister Marilyn (who had lived in the apartment across from my parents and I on Rose Street) was living in years later. (This is curious, as the majority of my dreams otherwise have unique fictitious composites as a setting.) Additionally, my father built cinder block flower boxes (similar to those of my dream) onto the front of our house after we had moved to Florida in 1967.

---

Morning of May 10, 2018. Thursday.



I am in an unknown location that has somewhat of the essence of the middle room of the east side of the King Street boarding house (where I have not been since 1990). I am putting together this year’s education report.

Curiously, a young female from the Brisbane Department of Education is present (though is a fictitious character or at least unfamiliar). I am showing her the documents that have been correlated thus far. One section is based on a calorie intake study relating to cereal. In going through the papers, I recall that half of the documents relate to my own education and are also due.

I notice a sheet of A4 paper that I had apparently sketched a helicopter on, lengthwise on the paper. I am wondering if it is complete or needs labeling.

---

Helicopters in my dreams are a common form of vestibular system correlation in anticipation of the drop.

---

Morning of May 8, 2018. Tuesday.



I allow the awareness of my physical body to become autosymbolic in the rendering of a silver van. I recognize the essence of water as dream state induction, the gentle beautiful rain splashing lightly on me at times from my left through the open window of the van. The van is driving itself without incident even though I am behind the steering wheel. Zsuzsanna is to my right in this dream (and I am sleeping more down on my stomach, so she is to my right side in reality, though I most often sleep on my left side). The van was meant to move through rain, which is the essence of well-being and healing factors, the brain and heart about 73% water at that. We go through a sparse forest of young trees; the trees on each side pass by in both directions. I do not reflect much upon such impossibility. We phase through a chain-link fence.

I enjoy going down the escalator of Hinkler in the van, with brief puzzlement of what may or may not be a car wash as we go elsewhere. Other people are walking around, shopping. Miniature cars drive above me, on the ceiling, upside-down, their headlights creating a harmonious awareness. The van drives itself through a hall in an unknown building that is just big enough for it to move through. Then in a more augmented vestibular awareness, we fly far above a lake near early evening.

Rain upon me in the dream state is so pleasing. Whatever vehicle my body becomes auto symbolically, car, van, airplane, boat, there is still flight potential.

---

Morning of January 28, 1994. Friday.



In the continuation of my lifelong focus on establishing a higher understanding and control of the dream state and to vivify settings and experiences, dream control becomes a viable factor. (On the 1 to 5 scale, I am about 80% lucid until the last scene, where I become 100% lucid, and additionally lucidly omnipresent in becoming the dream state itself and my dream is greatly vivified. However, dream control and lucidity are unrelated as, through the virtuous circle effect and lifelong knowledge of autosymbolism, I liminally modulate many of my dreams without my dream self being aware I am dreaming.) It results in a setting that is much like Daisy’s first-floor apartment (yet also has an ambiguous association with the owners’ downstairs living area of the King Street boarding house). (Daisy was an elderly lady that my mother knew. We used to go to her restaurant and have hamburgers when I was young. We also visited her first-floor apartment of which was part of a commercial building near the middle of town. She had a sister who ran a record store where I got all my 45s when growing up.)

Borrowing the concept of the three witches from “Macbeth”, as well as Wendy the Good Little Witch’s mean aunts - especially as an older vivid childhood dream had been influenced by them (and I often like to borrow content from my older dreams to develop a greater clarity of mind), I willingly set the plot in motion. The witches are more like Halloween witches, though more realistic as reasonable people than in movies or television (or comic books). There is a vague association with Daisy and her sister for two of them, but they do not have their identities. The landlady of the King Street boarding house also seems partially borrowed for the persona of the third. Despite the setting being modeled after Daisy’s apartment in Florida, it actually seems to be located in La Crosse, Wisconsin in my dream’s final scene.

There is a white door (of which did not exist in real life in either facet of the composite setting) in the north wall of the living room. This is my challenge. In opening it, I will supposedly face “my greatest fear” (that is, my greatest possible dream-related fear, not a real life association) according to the information given by the three witches. They also say it is to be my greatest challenge. There is an atmosphere of sustained respect and intent. Meanwhile, the witches seem to be sewing and knitting things from spiderweb, including a sweater and larger afghan or shawl. They mostly take turns sitting on a couch that faces east.

Eventually, I go to the door (oriented to the left of their courch, though slightly west of it so that one would have to turn about to their left to see it on the north wall). I am wondering how I will (instinctively) react. I am wondering how the witches will respond to how I react.

When I open the door, my dream vivifies rather than serving as typical doorway waking autosymbolism. I open the door and walk through and suddenly find myself enjoying a sweet breeze and immediate “rush” of clarity and very pleasant and soothing summer sounds, as if I had stepped into a different dream and different level of unconsciousness. I am on the south side of the street in the 900 block of Main Street in La Crosse (a block north of the King Street boarding house even though it seemed I had just been on the first floor of that building, though again, also ambiguously modeled after Daisy’s apartment as part of the composite). The historical Christ Episcopal Church (of La Crosse) is off in the distance to my left. I hold a vague awareness of wondering if I will see my lifelong “dream girl” (precognitive identity of Zsuzsanna long before we met in real life - and she had made contact with me in real life in March of 1994, about two months after this dream). Nothing happens after this and no one else is around other than a few unknown people in the distance. It seems to be morning (even though the prior situation seemed to be taking place in early evening). I stand there enjoying the warmth and clarity and feel a deep sense of peace, which remains with me as I wake.

---

In my intentional practices since I was a toddler, to modulate the dream state with allowance for RAS modulation when biologically necessary, it can easily be determined why RAS was passive here as the three witches. I was already on my way to what would otherwise be doorway waking autosymbolism, though there was no aggressive waking alert factor. Over time, this has remained a factor of both lucidity and liminal dream control, yet I was completely open to facing “my greatest fear” and this is how my dream naturally turned out without attempting to modulate the outcome as in many past dreams.

---