non-lucid

Morning of May 18, 2017. Thursday.



I am sitting on our bed in an informal meditation position, but the location is not certain (though it seems to be implied to be our present home, though it is not familiar or like any real location I have ever been). There are a large number of pieces of paper of various sizes and colors as well as a few different thicknesses. I am preparing to start making a fold-out paper diorama I had helped design (based on a real-life educational task I had created) and I have softly folded an A4 sheet so that I can cut it out as a square (though only for use as a test template to work with one of our sons). I cut out the square and place it aside.

In a short time, I realize that I had somehow misplaced the paper square. I become more and more frustrated over not being able to find what I had just made. I sort through the paper scraps, but it seems futile. I cannot accept that it has somehow vanished, but that seems to be the case.

Zsuzsanna is in an adjoining room. An unknown female comes in. I notice she seems familiar (but is really not). Her eyes are two different colors. Her left eye is a bright light blue and her right eye is dark brown (possibly meant to express both pairs of eyes of my parents). I am not sure why she is here but I do not feel that imposed upon. She is with Zsuzsanna anyway.

Still, I start to make very strange noises of frustration, almost as if I am having physical pain, though my own voice actually sounds somewhat comedic to me, sounding like “bluh bluh bluh” at one point. I do not leave the bed at any time. I get an impression that it might be Easter.

---

Something vanishing or morphing in my dreams has been very common since earliest memory. It is so common (and continuous in first dreams of a period, including hypnagogia), it probably does not have any significant symbolism, especially when it relates to distortions of real events. At any rate, visual morphing is so rapid, it cannot even be reasonably documented (such as when a dream character changes identity at the rate of about twice per second, shifting through over a hundred or more different appearances, which is one of my lucidity triggers).

---

Morning of May 14, 2017. Sunday.



I am seemingly in our present home, though the view is more extensive and as if I am looking from a fictional larger area on the east side of the lounge room.

There are some minor random events relating to family activity. At one point, I notice a line of about six girls. They are walking north in a seemingly impossible way so that it appears that the top halves of their bodies are missing, though actually bent around like a contortionist. I find this extremely strange as I watch. I get the impression that they are going “back” into the television. I am not sure that what I am seeing is “real” or some sort of altered holographic imagery.

Soon, I see my wife Zsuzsanna in a similar position. She seems to be mimicking the other girls in a comedic sense, sort of mocking what they are doing. However, her head is higher, somehow directly above where her waist would be. (The actual imagery would be impossible in this second case.) She is also walking towards the television but I know she will not go “into” it.

---

It did not take long after waking to learn that, once again, I had been dreaming of something that only Zsuzsanna had seen and thought about and not mentioned to me at all. She had been looking at a photograph of a young contortionist in the same position as the girls in my dream. In fact, she even had the same thought on whether or not it was real imagery. Still, there may also be some minor influence from ZZ Top’s “Rough Boy” music video, though this is only a guess, as I had not seen it since 1986.

---

Morning of May 13, 2017. Saturday.



I am sometimes walking, sometimes slowly flying, over an overpass in an unknown region. This of course is typical waking symbolism of the same type I have often had since early childhood but this event includes a subliminal attempt at re-induction.

An unknown male is present, but only walking to my right. As I hover near the peak of the overpass, a pickup truck approaches with an unknown male driver. I somehow know that he is in danger. (This is actually pretense, as the “danger” equates to waking from my dream and my temporary current dream self no longer existing, even though I am not actively lucid at any point. There is something about the nature of waking symbolism that the dream self somehow indirectly recognizes, but that is likely because of a thread of subliminal conscious self presence, as it is the conscious self that creates many dream events for the otherwise clueless dream self).

As the truck is close to me, I somehow pull the man out and push the truck over the side of the overpass. It rotates as it falls, lands upside-down, and explodes directly under the overpass (though the explosion is of no threat to us). The man is thankful to me, even though I caused the event, yet stopped the waking prompt by doing this (as technically an explosion often serves as a waking prompt, sometimes caused by a real noise in the environment, but this was out of the range of perceived danger).

In another scene, my attention shifts to the corruption of government. I am in some sort of large office. There are at least nine unfamiliar people, apparently all corrupt government officials. Still, some of them seem cheerful and not really that threatening. They had been sitting around a large rectangular office table discussing documents from a few different files.

An unknown male talks to me from my right as we are standing near one end of the table. A couple other people stand, indulging in conversation between themselves. Soon, an unfamiliar female approaches me. She does not really seem aggressive. She talks about a file and a DVD, and starts to hand them to me. Somehow, her arm automatically jumps up so that the DVD cuts halfway through her neck, killing her. No one seems to notice this event at all. The male continues to cheerfully talk. The “dead” female continues to stand, glowing slightly, then fading to gray, eyes remaining open. There is not a single drop of blood. I am not directly responsible, but this may not had happened had I not been standing there. No one notices. They go about their business.

---

Morning of May 13, 2017. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,408-05. Reading time: 1 min 20 sec.



I am in Cubitis where I have not lived since 1978, yet it remains my most common dream setting (yet always different, as no dream setting is ever the same for me more than once).

I move the furniture around in my room. I see my bed, a chest of drawers, a desk, a small end table, and some other furniture. I try different arrangements with no memory of physically doing it as it occurs by my mental will. My bed remains a bit easterly of where it last was before moving to Wisconsin in 1978 (adjacent to the west wall, head facing south) although it is a bed and not a drop-down couch that becomes a bed as I had in the last couple years before moving.

The last part of my dream is a recurring scene of the most vivid dream situation I have experienced relating to this type. I am in the Cubitis living room late at night, and no one else is around. I am by the east windows that would provide a view of the backyard, but it is usually too dark to see outside in dreams of this nature. As with previous versions, I am aware the jalousie windows are all open. There are a couple of cracked panes, and a few are missing.

My sense of touch is enhanced. I feel the sensations and momentum of my imaginary right hand on each cool metal handle as I wind down the jalousie windows to lock them at the middle of the left vertical frame with my left hand. The lock does not pull down all the way or work correctly. I move from left to right (north to south), making sure all the windows are at least mostly down. As is often the case in this situation, I have a concern a cougar had entered the backyard (though it is uncertain as I rarely ever see or hear one) and may get into the house.

---

dream type: subliminal wall mediation

---

Morning of May 11, 2017. Thursday.



I am in an unknown and unfamiliar room. This does not at all come to my attention though. I had been thinking about checking a number of my dreams to make sure the online entries are all accounted for based on a set of fifty-four dreams in a particular dream journal in notebook form. The dream journal website I am looking at is fictional and seems to not have had much activity for a few years. I think I have the patience to check the main details of all fifty-four dreams.

I look through a few web pages at some dreams that had been posted by others over a year ago. I have my fifty-four to check even though it probably does not matter since the site seems mostly unused (although I do like to have backup copies of my work other than on hand where I live). I do not recall the titles even though I am able to match and confirm a few. Curiously, additional details, at least a set of five for each title, vanish from the paper by my will alone, leaving only the title, to validate the most complete online version for each.

I notice that my notebook has two odd “pages” before the main area with dream documentation. The first page is apparently a sample of corduroy that supposedly represents clothes I have worn. It is folded around a thin piece of cardboard and flat against it. The second page, upon looking at it closely, is an actual shirt of mine, also attached to a cardboard page. I do not question why I would have this at the beginning of a dream journal. Over time, I become annoyed by the shirt, which is made of normal thin cloth but seeming to be more and more bulky, even preventing the binder from closing fully. I consider that I eventually might take out the sections.

---

This is a very odd variation of being annoyed by wearing clothes in some dreams, likely related to a subliminal realization that I am asleep in bed and actually wearing a shirt (due to being slightly cool) which I hardly ever do. The number fifty-four may be related to my age (as it is close to my real age), though is not correct (though normal dreams rarely contain correct information of any kind anyway). I also find it amusing after I wake that I would have to look through over 3,500 online dream journal entries rather than just 54.

---

Night of May 11, 2017. Thursday.



I find myself back in Cubitis (where I had not lived since 1978). It seems to be late at night. I have a vague awareness that my parents (both deceased in reality) are in the house sleeping. I am involved in a task which I am doing on my own, with regard to a long wooden ladder. I am firstly trying to bring the ladder out through a fictional area on the carport and realize that this may not be the correct route.

I go back into the house, and take it out through a fictional doorway on the east side of the house. I have no trouble carrying this long ladder on my own even though I illogically seem to somehow be carrying it from one end (rather than in the middle). While in the backyard, I see, in the north side yard, more to the west (and closer to the orange grove, which is no longer there in reality), the statue of a jockey on a vertically rectangular base. It is of a darker gray hue and about eight feet in height, the statue and the base each being about four feet in height. I notice that there are many other items in the carport (including a white refrigerator) but I do not focus directly on them. I feel a sense of well-being. I am not even sure why I am doing this, but it feels right.

---

Ladder symbolism in a dream is all about internal communication and real-time access to other (especially more aware) levels of consciousness (primarily the conscious self identity, which is typically lost when in the non-lucid dream state, one of many factors that reveal dream “interpretation”, by way of the common usage of the word, to be a naïve fallacy); very similar to bridge symbolism and visually linked to railroad tracks (especially when the ladder is horizontal, though it is carried sideways here). As most dreams are waking symbolism at their core, this is just a vivid experience of my dream self trying to coalesce into full wakeful consciousness again. The statue implies my inactive conscious self identity while in the dream state. The carport is one of my most common liminal space factors (that is, the state between dreaming and waking, but closer to waking).

I do not recall waking from this dream. There is no active preconscious factor here other than the inactive emergent consciousness symbol; the jockey statue (of a darker hue as this was a night dream). The heightened feeling of well-being I had was very nice.

---

When I was a teenager and going through a stage where I had a strong interest in unusual (and dreamlike) photography, for one photograph, I deliberately placed a ladder in the north side yard in Cubitis so that it was lying on the ground, oriented east and west and perpendicular to the railroad tracks beyond our backyard. There seemed to be an aspect of this memory in my dream, though my dream self’s age felt closer to thirty.

---

Morning of May 10, 2017. Wednesday.



This dream is meandering - with only a couple scenes that stand out that much. In one scene, my brother Earl (deceased in real life) is in a car in a parking lot (in an unknown area) with my sisters Carol and Marilyn (also both deceased in real life). It has a feeling of the 1960s even though I am possibly about my present age. There is some sort of situation with a six-pack of bottles, which may be apple wine (though this is not certain - the bottles are of a dark green tint). It seems that Earl had just bought them though is also going to be reselling them (or at least a few of them).

I take the middle bottle out from the left from the carton in the back seat while I remain standing outside the right side of the car. It is only half full. I consider how odd it is for a store to be selling something that seems to have missing contents. I put it back. After opening another one, I take a small drink from the middle bottle on the right.

For some reason, I take the six-pack of bottles to my car, which is also in the parking lot. My “car” is actually more like an oversized golf cart. I put the six-pack in the back seat.

At one point, I am in my “car”. A very annoying young Filipino girl is present and wants me to drive her to a shopping mall on the other side of town. She gets in, but I am not certain that I will be driving that far. I consider that I will probably just let her out when I get to where I am supposedly going.

I drive along, inside a large clothing store. I drive over some clothes that had been strewn across the floor. A young cashier comes to pick them up. She does not react to me having driven over them and it does not seem to matter that much. As I drive to the front door, my dream starts to fade.

---

Driving over clothes is a type of dream sign; a carryover awareness that I had gone to sleep and am not wearing clothes in bed. The bottles are likely symbolism relating to circadian rhythms due to the one being half full, additionally being linked to the “time in a bottle” association. It also relates to the “water getting lower over time” waking symbolism which I have experienced continuously for over fifty years.

---

Morning of May 9, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in a setting which seems to be modeled somewhat after the Loomis Street backyard, though there is the typical ambiguous feeling of being indoors and outdoors at the same time. The north fence is present but higher than in real life. There are a few unknown people present.

I am aware of a set of parallel walls. There are at least five or six in a row and only about four feet apart. The first wall, farther south from the real fence, is made of old stones. A couple walls are more like the inside of a house.

There is some sort of sense of wanting to explore. The main scene involves an unknown male opening a door between two walls, and this event is somehow duplicated simultaneously between two different walls, and yet it is also the same man. I believe this is the first time this has occurred in a dream.

---

Morning of May 9, 2017. Tuesday.



In the first part of my dream, I am in a large urban park. I am not sure of the implied location. It may be Brisbane. A very small library is being built near the center of the park. There are only a few people working on it, with one man doing the most work and checking of the structure. So far, only part of the foundation has been finished. It seems to be an ongoing design rather than any blueprints being used. I attain liminal dream control. That is, I know I can help in “magical” ways, yet with no knowledge of what a dream is.

I have my wand with me. My wand has featured in many dreams throughout my life with this level of liminal dream control. It is some sort of device, implied to be of a very high technology, that does whatever I want.

I ask about the concrete foundation. Apparently, there will be no set foundation deeper in the ground. In fact, later, there are wheels on each corner of the building, like those on a utility cart.

One of the first things I do to help is cause paintings to appear (including a large one on what is implied to be used as part of the roof), as well as fix up the evenness of the coat of paint already present. It is some sort of large duck icon. (This is a form of subliminal re-induction as a duck is a water bird.) I move my wand over the surface and different colors automatically fall into place.

Much of the building thus far is of a metal frame. It does not seem that stable. While the main male is on break and seems uncertain of how to proceed, I move my wand over the various screws and the frame becomes tighter and more stable, not wobbling hardly at all.

My dream continues for a long time as I move my wand around the different areas for different purposes, with the focus of automatic perfection (a state of awareness in most wand dreams). At one point, the main male finally wants to check something based on blueprints but he does not have any. This is the only time I am unable to help as I am only able to produce small blank pieces of paper that come from my right pants pocket. They are like a mix of blank shopping receipts and small squares of origami paper. Still, I know that by using my wand everywhere, the building will be exactly as it should be.

At one point, I realize we are inside a large library. I am only slightly puzzled by the unexplainable setting change. It seems to me that this miniature library might be barely big enough for one person to move around inside. Its perimeter seems not that much bigger than a king-size bed. I know there will be shelves attached soon. I consider they will hang out from the outside, though facing inward. Still, this small special library may be for a series of children’s books.

---

There have been a number of dreams throughout my life of small buildings within larger buildings. This one did not have a sense of bilocation as certain others had.

---

Morning of May 8, 2017. Monday.



Once again, my life status changes upon becoming unconscious and I am perhaps implied to be around fourteen years of age. The dynamics of my memory are different as always. This combination of dream state amnesia and the total loss of critical thinking skills and any hint of intellect is typical of non-lucid dreams.

I am in the Cubitis living room and I believe it is nighttime. My mother (deceased in 2002) is alive and well. My father (deceased in 1979) is also alive but not present at first. Over time, I hear what may be shotgun blasts in the distance, perhaps somewhere in the cow pasture to the east. There are additional similar sounds, not quite identifiable. I do not have that much concern. (I was not able to validate if real sounds in the environment, such as car doors slamming, were responsible for this segment, but it seems likely.)

I grasp the doorknob of the front door. My sense of touch is greatly enhanced. I twist it to make sure it is locked. Later however, I realize that my father is coming home at some point, so I unlock the door, making sure the doorknob turns all the way around. I even open the door slightly and close it again.

I go into my room and look out the north windows. My father is sleeping in the back seat of a car, his head to the north. I am somewhat puzzled and I do not know how long the car had been there. (As my father represents my conscious self identity in certain cases now that I am older, this simply represents the fact that I am actually asleep.)

I go through the back door and into the area of what would be the square concrete platform and the side yard at the south (and the utility room to the east), except that it seems like some sort of open porch with a lot of random furniture stored. It seems morning now even though it was night just moments before.

A neighbor drives into their driveway. Only Don M is present. He gets out of his car and comes over, saying, “My man!” as a friendly gesture. However, he then gives me an odd look and starts to move a desk out of my family’s fictional storage area as if we are not supposed to have it. For a time, he drags it upside-down from one end. I help him for a short time. (In reality, they had given us some furniture in 1973, including a pale teal-colored desk that I kept the largest dream work notebook binder volumes in, as it had a bookcase on the left side. Apparently, perfume had spilled all over it and they no longer wanted it, plus the drawer was missing. The smell did not wear off for a long time.)

---

This dream type is in great contrast to other dream types (and as such, has its own associated mood), mainly being a subliminal reminder that I am sleeping as well as being a “denial review”. That is, my dreams often reveal what I am not (when awake as my conscious self) rather than what I am. (For example, when awake I am…not asleep, not in the “back seat”, not living in Cubitis, not with my parents, not involved with Don M’s daughter, not having furniture taken from me, not a teenager, and so on.) All the characters here (other then my dream self) are deceased in reality.

---

Morning of May 7, 2017. Sunday.



There is not much going on in this dream other than me having a shower and eating a bowl of ice cream. I am apparently to go out to a public venue with some people, though I do not know who they are. Since water represents the dynamics of sleep (and as such, is my most common dream feature along with fire, and certainly my most common form of induction), it also vivifies my dream state as a result. However, there is no lucidity in this case.

The layout of the bathroom and the rest of the house is unfamiliar though implied to be where we live. Curiously, I shower while putting my clothes on, which seems to be taking a long time.

In the last scene, I am eating a bowl of ice cream. It is mostly vanilla and I enjoy its flavor. I find that I have to keep moving the spoon around the inside of the bowl, as I do not want to waste any of it, yet there is always more. I do not want to be late in going out, but there is no end to the ice cream when I move the spoon around to “finish” the last of it. If my thinking skills were present, I would know that there could not be so much still left each time.

---

Morning of May 5, 2017. Friday.



I am teaching a psychology class based on the Holt, Rhinehart, and Winston textbook (which I only actively used for one year). It seems to be eleventh or twelfth grade (with no association with AP students). One female, a young version of Zsuzsanna, is somehow seated on the desktop rather than the seat near the front of the class, to the right. The rest of the students are sitting in their desk’s seat.

Over time, I am trying to focus on a chart over the chalkboard. At first, I assume it is something to do with levels of consciousness (which is not a real part of the textbook in the way it is displayed). The bottom is first labelled as “UNCONSCIOUS”. Looking more closely however, I see that it says “PRIMARY PRODUCERS”. It then dawns on me that I am actually trying to explain something relevant to biology and what looks to be a food pyramid diagram.

Still, I become curious when the animal icons on the left (one on each “step”) all appear to be primates, displayed as if they are meant to be going up the steps of the supposed food pyramid. The one on the second-last step is a human, but in silhouette as in the other cases. Looking more closely, they appear somewhat distorted, almost like inkblots or human shadows with three or more arms in odd positions.

Still, I look at the top of the triangle, where the “TERTIARY CONSUMERS” section terminates. It firstly appears to be a man flexing his left biceps. I look more and more closely and finally see it is Atom Ant (the cartoon superhero). I squint trying to work out what is going on. Perhaps someone played a trick on me and tampered with the diagram. As my emergent consciousness kicks in, I am trying to work out how an ant would symbolize my emergent consciousness. Then I realize that the phrase “Up and at'em - Atom Ant!” is a reference to waking up and getting out of bed.

---

This dream was directly influenced by a dream (from January 2, 2016) that I reviewed and posted on a couple sites before my last sleeping period; the one titled “Evolution of Waking”. It has very similar waking symbolism and also (though less present as here) the idea of waking as “evolving”.

Continuously studying and understanding my dreams for over fifty years, it seems obvious that many of my dreams have integrated a virtuous circle into some dream types, where the real-time waking symbolism is so obvious as to be a no-brainer in many cases, even in surreal scenarios such as this and the January 2, 2016 dream.

---

Morning of May 3, 2017. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am a flying cat with wings like an owl. I have no idea how this came about (even though over one in five of my dreams have always naturally involved flight transitions, not including the additional flight transition metaphors such as elevators and staircases and forms of transportation) but it is what it is. (I will say that my waking mechanism was highly unusual, perhaps as a result of my cold, which I will explain later.)

As a flying cat, I am still with Zsuzsanna, but she is too young to be involved in a serious cat relationship and does not have wings. Still, she climbs up an outdoor feature that is much like a stalagmite (of about ten feet high). It is our hope that we will be married and live as healthy cats in the outdoors.

My mother-in-law (who we thankfully have not had to deal with much in years) as a human being is present, though her role does not seem clearly defined. After her annoying us several times, I somehow am able to lift her up with my flying-cat-self and carry her over overgrown culverts that are half-filled with water. (This is a subliminal attempt at re-induction. That is, I am non-lucidly trying to “erase” an undesirable dream character with release into the dream rendering mechanism, which takes the form of a body of water and symbolizes the dynamics of sleeping and dreaming in real time.)

One event relates to hearing a conversation about Zsuzsanna, as a cat, being spayed until later on when we can be free cats. (This really makes no sense, as spaying is supposed to be permanent.) Interestingly, free cats do not have owners - as cats only have human owners prior to maturity. (This is a curious distortion of the dynamics of the human life cycle; that is, children need parents when growing up, but not necessarily when they are older.)

Meanwhile, there are vivid scenes of Zsuzsanna and I, as human beings, walking near culverts, which are likely modeled after the ones along Highway Seventeen (and I get the impression that we are on the east side of the highway), where I have not been since mid-1978. (Again, this is related to re-induction, though the water remains at about half the depth of the culvert height. Water as symbolizing the real-time dynamics of sleep and level of dreaming is something that continuously occurs in my dreams and I had learned to control it to some extent years ago, depending on how deeply I am sleeping, also to the point where there is non-lucid dream control as here, though it typically occurs naturally and automatically.)

The depth of the water of the culvert (level of sleep depth) changes over about four partial awakenings. This is where the atypical waking mechanisms occur. My flying-cat-self is not fully operative during this time (especially when the water depth in the culvert is minimal), during these micro-transitions. I experience four stronger abdominal jolts (but do not fully wake), each of which I mention aloud to Zsuzsanna, though I am not sure if she is sleeping. As I have often explained before, abdominal jolts in liminal states are never unpleasant. Still, after the fourth one in about five minutes (when typically there is ever only one during a dream sequence), I am quite surprised. (There is also one minor shoulder jolt relating to my “wings”.) I had been sleeping on my right side at this time. “What? That’s the fourth one,” I say to Zsuzsanna before returning to deeper sleep.

---

The part about Zsuzsanna not having wings is a direct reference to her not being asleep (typically a real-time link as was established even before we met), as she now has a cold and mine is diminishing enough for me to sleep a bit more.

---

Morning of May 2, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar classroom (or perhaps at a seminar), where the students are mostly adults in their thirties. (In real life, I still have a cold, so my sleep cycle is apart from the usual.) I am the speaker. The subject is a childhood dream that I had originally titled “When the Moon is in the Seventh House” to poke fun at astrology. It was about the moon changing into a giant crow and falling through the roof of my Cubitis home into the large closet, becoming somewhat cartoon-like in appearance. (I had gone over the full decoding of this dream a few times when much younger.)

Over time, I explain how my dream (from February 4, 1972) was designed and rendered. Originally, there were about five notebook pages regarding this somewhat short dream that I wrote at age eleven. (I never post the full text of my dream data online as it would be far too long and the format is not possible to post online other than in a large image which is not really feasible.) I explain that it was partly influenced by hearing about the January 30, 1972 lunar eclipse.

I explain how many dreams are premonitory of biological waking mechanism factors and that a crow is such a symbol as the emergent consciousness event, especially as the same event has occurred many times in different ways since early childhood. (Also, since very early childhood, a bird’s beak was sometimes such a factor, but only in dreams relating to the lower back spasm waking event such as “The Buzzard’s Beak” from October 4,1969, though which the factor was proven to have some suggested level of control as in dreams such as “The Elongated Beak” from from September 8, 1968. These days, now that I am much older, there does seem to be an unexplainable liminal space in half-sleep where the back and shoulder spasm events can be lessened to an extent as well as somehow subliminally activated.)

I explain that the falling giant crow additionally is a staging phrase of “night is falling” (since a crow is black and is also a specific circadian rhythms symbol for me, though I have not captured or recorded all the specific clock times it is rendered as such as I have with cats in some cases, though date markers are more obvious).

I explain that the “failed flight waking transition”, one of my most common dream sequences since early childhood, is not necessarily of negative implications. It simply describes the type of dream that renders a falling event that is biologically linked to the natural consciousness shift that occurs upon waking.

I explain how the actual meaning of my dream’s outcome, is that the emergent consciousness factor lands in the closet due to it being the first place I go to to get my clothes to get dressed for school after waking up. The moon had been the induction factor, which transmutes into the waking transition during my dream’s natural ending. The moon becoming the giant crow represents the unconscious (moon, or “night self” as akin to “dream self”) becoming the conscious self waking precursor. I add how “When the Moon is in the Seventh House” is especially fitting as a title, as ours was the seventh house along our stretch of highway. My dream amused me and colored my mood in a very cheerful way concerning my otherwise tedious task of getting ready for school, so thus my dream was useful in that way. (A specific dream often serves more than one purpose.)

In the last scene, I actually “play” my childhood dream (as if it was a holographic movie over my dream’s main environment), as it originally occurred, although there are differences. The ceiling of the classroom disappears and the moon is present overhead. The full moon (though in reality was waning gibbous and only 85% visible in regard to the original dream) changes into a giant crow and begins falling toward the building.

Soon, I “become” the giant crow as I am also my dream self’s human body (though at this point, the giant crow is only about three feet from the floor) as it coalesces into my dream self as the emergent consciousness factor. I bend one knee down with my arms up and out at this moment in a sort of dramatic presentation. I awake with the soft abdominal jolt (with a slight kick), which is not unpleasant (rather than the natural falling sensation), as the giant crow’s belly is touching the floor, and I am very surprised that I had not been lucid at any point.

---

This is the second time I have recently non-lucidly dreamt of explaining the meaning of a childhood dream in front of an audience (the other being about “The Tadpole’s Ghost” from December 21, 1970). It is probably due to my lifelong study of my own dreams while realizing that much of what is published about dreams is a sham (especially the irritating myths that dominate dream lore).

My dream also related to thinking about mapping more dreams more specifically, though only on the two main sites I post where the present count is about 3,500 (which is less than one-tenth of my total number of records and study data - though I do hope to have about 10,000 in a few years at least on tumblr if it is still there).

---

Morning of April 30, 2017. Sunday.



I presently have a cold, and when this happens, my preconscious band expands into wider, unfamiliar patterns, likely external (as it always was with Zsuzsanna before I met her). This preconscious shift sometimes transforms the emergent consciousness precursor into a completely unknown identity as here (which may be a biological factor relating to being in need of more threads from the collective unconscious due to illness), though likely also based on all the news about North Korea.

I am on a ship (a common water induction beginning, water symbolizing sleep and its dynamics in real time as it has for over fifty years for me on a day to day basis) which seems to be a North Korean cargo ship (or so I assume from recent thoughts).

There is some sort of situation which I am not directly involved in. It is something about an unknown male following a female around (and curiously, they are both Caucasian), even into the shower area (water induction within water induction - but not fully a dream within a dream, only composite distortion of the ship seeming bilocated with a house on land and my dream being vivified by the additional association). She seems annoyed but the matter does not concern me.

I look in a mirror and see that the right side of my face is bruised very badly, from my forehead down to my chin, mostly red and purple. I consider that it may relate to my illness and something related to blood circulation. It is mostly covering only the left side of my face (possibly a greatly exaggerated subliminal thread of sleeping on one side).

Again, because I have a cold in real life, my preconscious band is skewed. When I look in a mirror, I am a Korean girl of about sixteen, without the slightest awareness that I am an older man. I am focused on my face quite clearly and consider telling someone about my medical condition though I do not fully recall it as being a cold.

---