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    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. The Watching Eye

      by , 04-10-1972 at 12:23 PM
      Morning of April 10, 1972. Sunday.



      This is another childhood dream (age eleven) I have researched anew and was able to validate more information on that I had not recorded everything on originally, something that always pleases me.

      A secret device from either aliens or quite possibly a government (more likely a foreign government in this case, though) is disguised as a basketball which can fly around and take photos and survey (or spy on) an area when needed (at my high school in Arcadia - which I had not yet taken any grade nine to twelve classes in in real life, though I was familiar with the area). I am aware of it hovering near the bleachers “watching” people and it looks like an eye at times. It even “blinks” like an eye with some sort of protective visor being the “eyelid”. No one seems to notice this flying device, which sometimes hovers over a group of people. It is rather an eerie scene, but there does not seem a direct threat and my dream-self does not seem integrated with most of the scenes. There did seem to be a vague “reset” later on (seemingly in a different dream) where someone got to it, thinking it was the basketball in play, and bolts of lightning shocked the player, though I am not sure if fatally.

      It seems this dream was either influenced by, or precognitive of, a Super Goof comic book I had (or came to have) during this time period. I cannot say which, as I did not always document fairly detailed precognition (of the type that is too complex or layered to occur as a result of the “cop out” of pretending it is coincidence) due to it happening too often to bother to keep track of (even a few times a day), though more-so with Harvey comics (rather than Disney-related), which got to be frustrating over time, as this happened with dreams I thought to be unique and write a story about, only to find it was already done in much of the same detail, even a short time previously. The cover date is apparently May 1, 1972 according to one source (I do not think I have a copy of this particular comic book anymore) though the cover date means nothing as comic books usually came out several months prior to any cover date (or at least used to). In this particular case, it does feel as if the comic was already known and had influenced my dream, but again, this is not certain.
      Tags: eyeball
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. * How I Accidentally Broke an Old Lady Stick Insect's Arm *

      by , 04-01-1972 at 10:01 AM
      Morning of April 1, 1972. Saturday.

      Dream #: 1,930-01. Optimized 1 minute 30 second read.



      I am on my own, walking through downtown Arcadia, Florida, in the late morning.

      Eventually, protoconsciousness (secondary consciousness that emerges at a specific point between dreaming and waking) personifies on my right (north of where I am standing).

      It manifests as an old lady carrying groceries in brown paper grocery sacks. We are standing near the curb. (Even though I was eleven years old in real life when I had this dream, she was about a foot shorter than me.) She is wearing a headscarf similar to my mother’s and is cheerful and friendly towards me at first.

      I think she needs help crossing the street (even though I see no traffic) and carrying her groceries. I take a paper sack filled with her groceries and hold it in my left arm.

      When I pull on her left arm with my right hand, I suddenly seem to be holding a small tree branch, so I become puzzled. I think I grabbed her wooden cane by mistake. However, it turns out to be her left arm that resembles that of a stick insect. (There is no blood or gore.) She is now an anthropomorphic stick insect with the head of an old lady. She raises her right fist and yells at me.

      Dream content meanings:

      Main Category: REM Atonia (Physical Immobility While Sleeping) Influence on Dream Narratives and Outcomes.

      My dream’s outcome: The woman’s arm coming off confirms my lack of physical mobility while sleeping. (This event is a protoconsciousness mechanism serving as a wakefulness catalyst.) This type of dream (lack of arm mobility) is usually the second to occur near a sleep cycle’s beginning. (Here, I had been awake for a time before going back to sleep on a Saturday morning.) The first is losing leg mobility (walking, losing my footing, and rapidly sliding on my heels while falling with corresponding myoclonus).

      My expectation of crossing the street: Anticipation of leaving the dream state to achieve wakefulness.

      There is influence from the “helping a little old lady cross the street” trope from television and comic strips.

      “Similarly, he (Herbert Silberer) has shown that the conclusions of some dreams or some divisions in their content merely signify the dreamer’s own perception of his sleeping and waking.”




      Updated 11-08-2021 at 08:33 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    3. When the Moon is in the Seventh House… (Personal Version)

      by , 02-04-1972 at 08:04 AM
      Morning of February 4, 1972. Friday. (Original version, fully explained.)



      Message: “Let the sunshine in” / “Wake up and enjoy the day and don’t dawdle in the dream state even if you can fly while sleeping”

      My dream starts out with a partial focus on last Sunday’s total lunar eclipse of January 30, 1972. I am firstly outside in the front yard in Cubitis, but as my dream ends, it seems like I teleport into the southwest bedroom. (I am also not as aware of my physical body as in other dreams.)

      Prior to my dream’s sudden outdoors to indoors scene shift, the moon, which is in the northwest area of the sky (the same location the sun was in my dream “The Day There Was No Sun”), becomes sort of dark. I am not sure if there is going to be another eclipse or not. Eventually, the moon somehow seems to become a giant crow or blackbird.

      This giant crow crashes through our roof, directly into our large sliding-door closet in the southwest bedroom (where my school clothes are kept in real life). The giant crow has somewhat of a cartoon-like appearance. He seems to have an expression of puzzlement and frustration and I get the vague impression he is now “too fat to fly” as relating to the “moon being full”. He fills our entire closet with his bulky body, which is several times the area and volume of our hall closet. I am aware that this event means “when the moon is in the seventh house”, seemingly meant to mean that our house is the seventh from an implied starting point, though I am also aware it is the first line from the song “Age of Aquarius” (which ends with “let the sunshine in” continuously repeating).

      The moon represents the dream state (as well as circadian rhythms in relationship to night and sleeping) and the link to the unconscious self. It flies but “falls” and becomes a part of my day to day waking reality by reminding me I have to get up and go to the closet to get dressed for school.

      The “silly” giant crow is a projection of my dream self as simultaneously both an upsized and downgraded flight symbol (flight being the dream itself, the fall being the natural waking mechanism), cartoon-like to represent the "unreal” nature of some dream types and giant because of trying to focus more on my dream, frustrated and puzzled because my dream is over (waking transition).

      Updated 01-13-2017 at 05:23 AM by 1390

      Tags: closet, crow, moon
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    4. Source of the Nile?

      by , 02-01-1972 at 03:53 PM
      Night of February 1, 1972. Tuesday. (This was possibly after midnight into February 2, though one of the first of nine longer heavily documented dreams.)



      In my dream (age eleven), I am somehow aware that my home in Cubitis is, for whatever reason, “the source of the Nile” (which of course makes no sense at all in any context). (It seems probable that our water pump is somehow partly responsible though it is in a slightly different location in reality relative to its place in our front yard). My house is more isolated than in real life and possibly located in a different place farther south, though still in Florida, apparently. I am not aware of our next-door real-life neighbors at any point (or the orange grove on the north side) and in fact, seem to be the only human presence in-dream for the most part. Somehow, the part of the Nile River that we live near (or which is coming out from near our water pump) is only eventually like a stream about six feet wide at the most. The main scenes seem to relate to being outside and watching the water flow, albeit, somewhat unrealistically. In fact, the water seems to be bubbling at times as if it is boiling. However, it is not actually boiling but just displaying an apparently normal feature of the Nile River. I am not aware of any potential danger (such as crocodiles). Not much happens other than looking at the river’s surface and sometimes hearing the low-volume bubbling sound. (Another unrealistic aspect is that the water seems to sometimes mainly flow towards the banks rather than forward with the supposed current.)

      This dream seems to be at least partially linked to the “prototype” (first version) of my “Deer Monkey” dream element, so as such, I have decidedly placed the online “Deer Monkey” entry with this set and moved the date heading to this one, as it mostly is the same in description. The only real differences are that the “deer monkey” seemingly lives near a trailer park rather than near the (faux) “Nile River” as in the version from this set and in the later version seems to perhaps be the only one left in existence (“deer monkey” as mentioned in my other entry as being wrongfully titled in my childhood dream journal - even though that was technically the name my dream presented - as I had not yet caught on for whatever reason of how two-word terms were properly used - as it was an unusual type of deer rather than a monkey so technically should have been called “monkey deer”. Up until the early 1980s, I still had a cassette with the sound I tried to vocally mimic from my dream, which sounded a bit like a peacock - and perhaps was influenced as such).

      Newly researched and updated June 29, 2015. I am still intrigued by how dreams typically get as many things wrong as possible (even regarding something as simple as how water should be - although certain dream types are far more “realistic” concerning physics) other than in validated remote-viewing and precognitive events (though which also sometimes join as otherwise unrelated composite events).

      Updated 06-28-2015 at 05:22 PM by 1390

      Tags: nile
      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. Valley of the Lizards

      by , 01-08-1972 at 07:08 AM
      Morning of January 8, 1972. Saturday. (First version.)



      I am in some sort of “hidden” valley in an unknown region, perhaps even implied to be on another planet (though dreaming of being on other planets is quite rare for me). It may also be an “undiscovered” part of Florida. The lush valley seems to have its own special type of animals, many of them unusual and “giant” species of lizards. At one point, I am floating over the scene. I seem to be the only human presence around, disembodied at times. I do not seem to be in danger at any point.

      One of the giant lizards seems to have some of the characteristics of the Cheshire Cat from the Disney version of “Alice in Wonderland” (from 1951), including the bluish and purple stripes around its tail and body (and perhaps even the ability to vanish with the “grin” remaining). I do have an association with the idea of a “Cheshire lizard”. The lizards do not seem threatening at any point. They are not really that much like genuine dinosaurs and not really like the popular imagery of dragons either (even though one title considered was “Valley of the Dragons” - though that was an actual movie from 1961).



      It is possible that this dream was inspired somewhat by movies like “Journey to the Center of the Earth” (from 1959) where real live lizards were made up to look like “dinosaurs”.

      Updated 06-13-2016 at 08:10 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. Biplane Directive

      by , 01-02-1972 at 07:02 AM
      Morning of January 2, 1972. Sunday.



      I am apparently a member of a group of detectives. I seem much older and I do not seem implied to be my conscious self. I am riding in the front seat on the right and I am not the driver. The driver is an unknown male with a celebrity essence, though unfamiliar. We are in what may be a police car, but from the 1920s or 1930s.

      We are supposed to prevent a biplane from taking off from the runway of a small airport. Soon, it is headed right for us. Oddly, we are also copied into a scene in front of us at somewhat of a distance. That is, we are watching “our” car on the runway ahead, with another us (yet somehow still us). I am thinking “we” might be struck by the biplane if we keep going but it is not that fearful. (The sense of anticipation is not that vivid.) The biplane lifts from the runway a few times, but only just a little, and is back down.

      Eventually stopping, and the other us no longer present, it turns out that the biplane is only a painted mural (or perhaps a low-set billboard) so it was never really a threat. We get out of the car. The biplane is now facing the left side of the car and it seems we may be on a normal city street. I feel like saying something but I do not.


      Updated 09-11-2019 at 07:17 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. Mole People Beach

      by , 01-01-1972 at 11:36 AM
      Night of January 1, 1972. Saturday.



      This dream was the rather unfortunate result of having seen some of “The Mole People” (from 1956) and “Bikini Beach” (from 1964) on our black-and-white television in Cubitis on the same day (though I only saw about the last half of “The Mole People” as I got up too late - about eight o'clock - to see it from the beginning - though my mother had watched it from the beginning yet did not think much of it except for mild amusement, I thought). In my dream, Annette Funicello is in the main role of the fictional in-dream version of “The Mole People” and apparently her boyfriend is one of the mole people though looks fairly normal, and there is a scene where the slightly more human-like heads (than the creatures in the actual movie) are sort of moving side to side with their bodies otherwise buried in the sand at the mostly featureless beach. There is something somewhat ambiguous about the scene in that it seems more like a foreign desert at one point than an American beach, though it does not seem to be horror; only some sort of low-key drama. I only remember about three distorted fictional scenes, which is typical of such movie-influenced composite jumbles. What a way to start the new year (1972), as my mother used to say.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. Run from the Twister

      by , 11-19-1971 at 05:19 PM
      Night of November 19, 1971. Friday.

      Dream #: 1,796-02. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec.



      While in the Cubitis house’s living room, I hear on my mother’s radio (her pale green one that was sometimes atop our refrigerator) about a twister approaching from the west. I am concerned that Brenda does not know about it. I plan to go to her house to get her so that we can escape from it. (I do not see or consult my parents even though I am only ten years old, though this was typical in my childhood dreams.)

      As with the majority of my dreams, features are incorrect without my dream self’s realization that they are. In this case, Brenda’s house is incorrectly east of my house (where the cow pasture is in real life) rather than north of it. Also, Arcadia is east of my home rather than south.

      As the tornado is approaching, I go into Brenda’s house without knocking and say hello to her. (Neither her parents nor brothers are present.) We are suddenly in her kitchen. She looks annoyed with me and moves around a table to avoid me. I convince her of the danger, and she happily comes with me. We manage to avoid the tornado. It is seemingly a result of running in specific directions and being in particular places for a time, even though we seem to backtrack at times.

      In the last scene, we are sitting at a big water fountain in an unknown city that seems to be a newly built resort. (The twister had supposedly destroyed it, but it was somehow quickly rebuilt while we were traveling. The tornado was there before us even though we were running from the opposite direction).

      We eat sandwiches that had been in transparent sandwich bags (that it seems we were carrying even though this backstory did not have a foundation) and smile happily in the knowledge the worst is over. I have a vague sense we may be near Disney World. (It would be in a different location in reality as it seems we are not that far east of my house.)



      My dream coincided with the opening of Disney’s Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground in Orlando, Florida. I might have heard about it, so I am uncertain if it was a precognitive factor.



      The fountain and surrounding area now make me think of one of the first public places I went with my wife Zsuzsanna in Brisbane in 1994. It was like in my dream and with the same cheerful essence when I was with Zsuzsanna.


    9. Dick Van Dyke Discusses King Kong and Godzilla

      by , 09-19-1971 at 03:19 PM
      Morning of September 19, 1971. Sunday.



      In my dream, I am seemingly in Burns Park in La Crosse where I have not been in real life since early 1967. The setting is larger than in real life though, as well as with a more rural feel. Some of this dream seems to have monochrome scenes, which is extremely rare for me (though another dream in which King Kong appeared also had seemingly black-and-white scenes).

      In the park, Dick Van Dyke is casually telling me the history of the two movie monsters in a somewhat “realistic” way, and it seems we have a few different meetings over time, including walking along in a peaceful Autumn scene and sitting on a park bench for a time. He seems to have a walking cane during at least a couple of the meetings but not all. This was possibly influenced by his role as the narrator in the 1970 television airing of “Born Free”. He even relates the supposed “personality” traits of King Kong and Godzilla; a sort of comparing and contrasting discussion; and he does this quite cheerfully and patiently as my dream unfolds. There is actually no threatening appearance by either of the giant monsters. Again, there is mostly a sense of peace and cheerfulness, even optimism.

      In real life, when I had seen a black-and-white picture based on the “real” King Kong (from the original “King Kong” movie) superimposed with Godzilla (from an issue of “Famous Monsters of Filmland”) to falsely imply that King Kong was not actually a silly-looking man in a costume in “King Kong vs. Godzilla” (as well as being much lager than he originally was, so that even Fay Wray, held by Kong, appears as gigantic, even bigger than a skyscraper) I somehow expected something more “realistic” regarding the movie. When I remarked on my memory of the magazine picture later, I commented “I like the dragon” (just to make conversation, really). Classmate Steve J nodded as we were leaving the classroom, and he said, “Uh-huh, that’s Godzilla” and I felt a bit embarrassed for not having said “Godzilla” even though Steve did not seem that condescending about what I had said.

      Later on, when I actually watched “Kingu Kongu tai Gojira” or “King Kong vs. Godzilla“ in English (made in 1962 and apparently first released on the 26th of June, 1963 in America) on television, with my father, we laughed uproariously through much of it.

      Updated 05-06-2016 at 12:46 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. The Confused Dinosaur

      by , 08-29-1971 at 02:29 PM
      Night of August 29, 1971. Sunday.



      A small dinosaur (possibly a young Ornithomimosaur) that is only about as tall as I am, and of which I think of as an ostrich dinosaur, is running back and forth in the hallway of my Cubitis home, trying to get into one of two rooms (and rattling the doorknobs each time), the bathroom or the hallway closet (the doors of which are on opposite sides - and near opposite ends - of the hallway; the bathroom door perpendicular to the back door and the hallway closet perpendicular to the living room opening). I feel sort of sorry for it (regarding its seeming confusion or indecision) but stay out of its way (and it does not seem to become aware of me at any point or at least act as such). There is no threat of any kind. I seem to be viewing the event from near the bathroom door though in the bathroom at one point, somehow seeing through the closed door.



      Due to a particular vague association in my dream, I think this may have been influenced by an old cartoon (possibly Betty Boop or Silly Symphony; though even after extensive research, I have not been able to locate it) which showed a kangaroo going to the door of an airplane (while in flight), not being able to open it, and soon going back to sit down again, I think because of being bored or annoyed with a singing character, though this may be a false memory regarding certain details. I am not sure, as I neither wrote the name of the cartoon nor time seen at any earlier point in my journals.

      It is probably relevant that this year, starting fifth grade on the 30th of August, I mostly got my school clothes from the hall closet and changed in the bathroom before sometimes “racing” back through the hallway to the living room to leave to wait for the school bus. (For the year after this, the volume of clothes I had took up more space and they were mostly kept in the room-length sliding-door closet in the southwest room - my father’s room at that time.)

      (There may be a subtle connection with my “Poor Little Dinosaur” dream from 1965, from about a year before attending any school, and “identifying” with it on one level - it was of the same general size and appearance as here.)

      Updated 11-15-2015 at 10:34 AM by 1390

      Categories
      memorable , non-lucid
    11. Sideyard Burial

      by , 08-15-1971 at 02:15 PM
      Morning of August 15, 1971. Sunday.



      This (“Sideyard Burial”) is the original journal title. When my family had first moved to Cubitis, my father had eventually taken down a very large tree that was in the north side-yard that he was concerned might eventually fall on the house during a strong storm or hurricane. Later on, the stump (and most roots) was also taken out and for a time, it was an additional incidental “well” that was about six feet deep or so. It was filled in a few years later. I used to lie on my stomach and watch all the trapped toads come out from the recesses at the bottom when throwing down an earthworm or beetle or some such. Seeing them come out from different areas to go after the same potential meal was kind of fun at that time. It very vaguely reminded me of movies that had scenes of ancient Rome and gladiators.

      Later on, that area was a place of mystery in a few dreams. There was a very long dream in which a feeling of strangeness was present and the actual body of Christ was buried there about five feet down or so. There was even something about an investigation of the scene. Mostly, I am aware of the skeletal hand and arm coming out from the side of the well. However, over time, it is only determined to be roots (even though there actually was the skeletal hand and arm in earlier scenes).

      This is vaguely like a much later dream where the holy “bones” turned out to be plastic forks and such for picnic supplies - “The Temple and the Tomb (January 1996)”. The “burial” dream was fairly haunting in one sense but certainly not nightmarish. There have been a reasonable number of dreams where things changed in such a manner where something unusual or eerie turned out to be mundane, including the “vampire bat” to large moth in one older dream.

      There was also a dream firstly from when I was four years old where a “bear” turned out to be a burned tree stump, which I saw later in an actual story in real life (that was very similar in some ways) - but this was also from a story my father had told me long before my dream which supposedly happened to someone he knew - that is, a friend mistaking a burned tree stump for a bear when they were out at night - an event that was probably fairly common and probably still happens now and then as people are always mistaking something for something else, especially at night.

      There was also a dream (1973) where the Roanoke Colony (the “lost colony”) was camped out in that part of the yard (strange, considering that it was Florida). I watched them from the roof, watching the fire’s glow and the people standing about. I am aware that one of them - a toddler - is Virginia Dare, but that is also an association with a (deceased) sister named Virginia.



      This dream is a generic DDR event where what is believed and somehow “reported” (by the media) to be the skeleton of Christ about six feet down (near an area where my father had removed a tree in real life) turns out to be plant roots. This is all seen as if incorporeal and with a sort of implied x-ray-like vision (though with natural visual details) through underground areas. There is much more to this one, though. This specific location was very rare in my dreams and the only other significant examples were specifically related to precognitive dreams concerning my “mystery girl” - again revealing her exact appearance before I made contact with her in reality, one where I fell down unable to move in the same orientation as the “bones” from my 1971 dream. Also, my oldest daughter’s birthday falls on this dream’s date, so I consider it to have at least two “markers”.

      Updated 08-26-2016 at 10:15 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    12. The Tank and the Hilltop

      by , 04-09-1971 at 10:36 AM
      Night of April 9, 1971. Friday.



      Brenda W, a female classmate and friend (who lived just north of me but on the other side of Highway Seventeen in real life), also often playing a role within the main “mystery girl” composite or “wife-to-be stand-in” - is visiting my home in Cubitis. It seems to be morning, around nine o’clock. Her father is there as well as my father, I think (and perhaps both of our mothers in another area). We are all in my father’s original old room near the southern end of the room close to the windows and more towards the door, I being the only one sitting on the floor. Everyone else is at a table. I talk to her father (who is closest to me, sitting in a chair) about marrying her and he eventually asks me if he can look at my toy plastic army tank. When he looks at it, he accidentally but clumsily breaks the turret off. It is ruined, but I do not show my own anger as I do not want him being angry about his own carelessness by my acknowledgment of it - or perhaps he did it on purpose (this is not certain) - in which case an unpleasant confrontation would ensue. (This is probably a representation of the “defeat” or lack of readiness of my boyish masculine energies by her father - an obvious sort of symbolic “breaking or denial of manhood” or the male member, I suppose.)

      There is another scene where either Brenda or the “mystery girl” (as I only see her in shadowy silhouette for the most part) and I are on a hilltop, either in late afternoon or early evening just as the sun is going down. There is a similar awareness of the animation from “Song of the South” (from 1946). Leaves and flower petals are blowing around us in spirals. It is a very positive feeling. It almost seems like a wedding scene. My real wedding years later was on April 9, which was indeed to the “mystery girl”. Last year on this date (April 9, 1970) was also a marriage-related dream. (On a side note, when I married in real life, there were leaves and petals blowing around in a wind during a mild storm though we were under a shelter in Hervey Bay and the storm stopped immediately after the wedding, which can be seen on the video we have).

      It seems that the toy tank scene of this dream set was partly influenced by an episode of “The Partridge Family”. I was ten and so was Danny Bonaduce on the show. He was mistakenly drafted into the army on this episode by an “infallible” army computer and his mother took him to the induction center and he even goes through the tests because they do not “really” look at him.

      As I carefully go over thousands of heavily documented dreams, I am noticing two things a bit more; one being far more subtle television influence than I originally thought (which seems odd considering the level of synchronicity and even common precognitive associations), and yet two - there being far more unexplainable connections than even I originally thought.

      Updated 07-04-2015 at 12:22 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    13. Wed-Nez-Day

      by , 04-07-1971 at 10:43 AM
      Morning of April 7, 1971. Wednesday.



      In real life I had shown a young female teacher, after class, my “How and Why Wonder Book of the Moon”. When she asked “Can I have this?” I thought she meant that she wanted to borrow it for a short time for another class so I said “yes”. Unfortunately, I never saw the book again (so I guess she thought it was a gift). I did not ask her about it and I did not tell either of my parents about the event. (I did have most of the “How and Why Wonder Books” of the time period). I was not angry. I just felt rather strange about the situation. I thought perhaps that I would get it back at the end of the school year but did not. I was always quite passive in the presence of public authority, not because I liked, “appreciated”, or trusted authority in any way - in fact, it was the opposite and I was passive because I saw most such people as unpredictable, unintelligent, and unaware (and likely dangerous at the drop of a hat) except for perhaps a few teachers during my school years, but even then, I strongly sensed their shortcomings and overall incompetence given the circumstances, which often frustrated me but I remained quiet.

      During this time, I thought of the book being returned on “Moon Day”. I had “worked out” that this was the day relating to the moon and had a false memory that the moon was always full on a Monday.

      The main in-dream theme that recurred here for a few weeks was the idea that people only got married on Wednesdays. It became “Wedding Day”, the “long form” of “Wed Day”. In reality, I never did learn how to “mentally say” Wednesday. If I do attempt to actually think of Wednesday as Wednesday, it comes out wrong due to the bizarre and atypical spelling of the word. This stems from earlier years where I never once said (mentally) anything other than WED NEZ DAY. This is why I so quickly learned to spell it (even over incorrectly spelling “what” as “hwat”, “when” as “hwen”, and so on when four years old). To this day, I mentally think “Wed nez day” when I want to write it, knowing the “z” is actually an “s” and then write Wednesday…I wonder if other people do this.
    14. "The War on Brenda Wilson"

      by , 04-04-1971 at 10:04 AM
      Morning of April 4, 1971. Sunday.



      My dream renders what is intended to be an area of the West Elementary school grounds for playing games, though it is in an incorrect (though not regarded as incorrect by my dream self) featureless location that is implied to be northwest of the elementary school building.

      It seems to be late morning. My schoolmates are sitting in a circle and a game of “Duck, Duck, Goose” is in progress. In the back of my mind is a vague idea that I am in a movie that is presently being filmed (which was a recurring aspect of my childhood dreams that suggests subliminal conscious self awareness of being in the dream state, yet without viable lucidity).

      In this version of “Duck, Duck, Goose” I am aware that the person who is caught is to eventually marry the person who catches them. I find myself walking clockwise in a circle around the seated group of our schoolmates, with Toby a few feet in front of me (even though there is only one “it” in “Duck, Duck, Goose”). Toby intends to tap Brenda on the head, much to my dismay. However, instead of Brenda being tapped and getting up to chase Toby, she dodges Toby’s attempt to tap her and the roles become reversed. Toby ends up chasing Brenda around the circular group of seated schoolmates.

      I decide to start running after her as well, to get to her before Toby does, though I remain at a distance. Still, Toby never comes any closer to her than about six feet. We run around and around and it seems to go on for a long time. The three of us never leave the circle to run elsewhere. For a time, I contemplate the adult paperback Western “The War on Charity Ross” (by Jack M. Bickham), which I had recently read. I start to contemplate that this event is “The War on Brenda Wilson”. There is a sense of drama and anticipation, though my dream eventually fades without a victor.



      The failure of my personified subconscious to perceive the setting as wrong yet still possess the memory of a paperback I had recently read is typical of the unusual erroneous neural gating of the dream state.



      My dream designates Brenda as the Vestibular System Personification (a waking alert factor which RAS mediates due to the biological vestibular system ambiguity of being unconscious), though she does not fall or fly but runs in a circle, though there is the implied vestibular-system-based flight symbol of being a “goose”.

      Even here at age ten, my dream self was thinking of life partnership. Brenda was validated, in a prescient sense, to symbolize Zsuzsanna long before we met (even though Zsuzsanna often appeared literally as herself, though sometimes as part of a composite which also integrated Brenda, even directly before Zsuzsanna first made contact with me, mainly because I did not learn that Zsuzsanna was a real person until March 1991). Zsuzsanna and I were married on April 9, 1994. (One of the stories she wrote when she was fourteen was called “Wilson’s Dream”, which was about dream state adventures into other worlds. Her first tribal name from the PAIA was “Magic Pen”, which I viewed as a play on female swan, which has a loose association with “Duck, Duck, Goose”.)





      This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.


      Updated 02-21-2018 at 09:58 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. "The Dead One" - A closer look at another childhood dream

      by , 02-13-1971 at 08:13 AM
      Night of February 13, 1971. Saturday.



      Brenda W, a female classmate I was fairly close to, and who lived just north of me in Florida, turned out to seem to also be some sort of dream symbol and remarkable catalyst for my future wife (there seemed nothing like this for the “other” - Susan R - although she was already present in my life at the time, so did not need a precognitive or anachronistic catalyst, I guess). There is a lot of evidence for this as well as some pretty strange synchronicity on top of precognitive aspects over a longer time period, some now just coming to light which I will add here, as in all honesty “it never ends” as the deeper I look the more “impossible” synchronicity unfolds, in layers, going far beyond being mathematically possible by chance alone.

      In the first part of my dream, which seems to be taking place fairly late at night, I go to Brenda W’s house with a larger bouquet of flowers to give to her. As I am walking along, I horrifyingly notice that a yellow bulldozer had ran over and killed her just prior to my arriving, possibly by minutes (I associated yellow in my dreams with “caution” at the time - as with traffic lights and painted borders on floors for possible hazards). Her right hand, from the lower part of the wrist up, is sticking up from the ground (where there is no grass but a few stones here and there). The rest of her had been covered up. I am in awe over the melancholy scene. My dream fades or shifts into the next scene…

      I am at the cemetery a few blocks from the school - I had ridden my bicycle past there (instead of taking the school bus most of that year) in real life several years later. In my dream, I am at Brenda’s grave. It seems to be open to display her in almost as a sort of Snow White scenario (or perhaps the grave is not “finished” yet?). It is at one of the graves closer to the road, but as I do not have the luxury yet of knowing the exact location/lot, I do not yet know whose grave it actually was in real life (something I would like to know) as although some cemeteries have exact locations of lot views online, this one does not and I do not quite have enough time to do more extensive research presently.

      I reach down to tentatively touch her and get a strange sensation of sticky cellophane covering her entire form. This fallacy seems somewhat “logical” in my dream. It is a fictional way of preserving her appearance, I suppose, similar to how a poster is laminated to make it last much longer. It is a very sad scene for me. I look upon her laminated body for what seems like a long time before I resign to continuing with my life.

      Later on (seemingly much later in my dream - perhaps two weeks or more), I am walking in the main part of town. I see Brenda, alive and apparently healthy and uninjured, walking around in the distance. I start to approach her, but she runs off (after stopping and watching me for a minute or so as I go closer to her), appearing to be frightened of everything - or perhaps she does not want to be “discovered” (alive again) by anyone who knew her yet. This happens a few times and I am never able to catch up with her or find where she is staying. I see her vanish among smaller groups of people and she always somehow eludes me. Perhaps she is lost and does not know where to go.

      Doing a bit of research, I found a different Brenda W (perhaps her grandmother) in a cemetery near where her family would have originally lived, and that other Brenda died on my wife’s birthday in 1991 - which is the year we first made contact. It was also in block 36, which was the number of my wife’s street address when we first made contact. Layer upon layer, it never ends.

      So, the Brenda W in my dream was running away, perhaps in being a symbol of my future wife, was not to be in my path at that time.

      Oak Ridge link



      The event where I touch Brenda’s “corpse” (the back of her left hand) in her open casket relates to a (subliminal) interest in the nature of sleeping and dreaming and is also a dream sign (as she is in a sleeping position and was likely also asleep at the time of my dream in the same directional orientation - thus on one level, this was likely distorted remote viewing). Additionally, the fact that Brenda; neighbor, friend, and classmate; was the only female as such in my youth that I perceived as dying and coming back to life (in a number of dreams) and who was also confirmed as a “stand-in” for my soulmate Zsuzsanna (other than when my “mystery girl” herself appeared, sometimes distorted into some of Brenda’s features), it speaks volumes.



      Updated 04-24-2017 at 06:38 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
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