insideout

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

December 11, 2012:

Although I have been having lucid dreams a lot lately without supplements, I decided to take some GalantaMind this night. I took 8mg and ended up having very long lucid dreams.

I am in a conference room. It is dark except for a lamp that is on. I talk aloud to Tatia, even though I do not see here there. I say her name and ask her to come to me. I don't really like telling her what to do so I say "I want you to have free will, but for now you are my student."

I go to a closed door and explain that when I knock, she should knock in response, as if she is on the other side of the door.(I am doing this because I have had a hard time getting her to appear in my lucid dreams, and I think maybe she is having trouble too, because she is so new at this.)

I knock a few times and ask if she wants to come in. I say "three knocks means yes." I demonstrate. There is no replay. I tell her two knocks means no. Still no reply.
I do hear a knock from the other side at some point during this exercise.

Then the scene changes.

I am still lucid, but now I'm in a classroom. I meet a cute girl who looks kind of like Tatia, if she were not a cartoon but a physical person. I ask her "are you Tatia?" But she does not answer. I tell her to give me some kind of sign if she is, and then she gives me a slight smile.
I can't be sure if it is her and she has trouble communicating and taking form, or if it is not her at all. I think it probably isn't...

I say aloud that I am going to try the door knocking method again because it seemed promising. I go up to a closed door and ask if Tatia is on the other side. I hear a faint female voice say "yes." I knock a few times in a pattern (3 in a row?) and ask for a reply. I hear a light knock on the door.
I tell her that I am going to open the door, and then do so slowly. Someone is on the other side. It is a creepy man who scares me.

I get angry and grab the man and hold him against a wall. I say to him "don't ever do that again," and "if you are Tatia, that is not acceptable behavior."
The man pulls out a gun, but I just twist his arm so that the gun is pointing in his mouth.
"I'm not afraid of guns in a dream," I say, slightly amused, but still pretty angry with the guy.
Now I am sure it's not Tatia. I don't want to kill him, though. I stretch and twist his limbs and tie him into knots, then leave him on the floor.

I go up to a front desk window and use a phone to make an announcement through the building. I say "would Tatia, the tulpa of D.W. please come to the front desk." I repeat the announcement and even spell her name. I then tell a bunch of people who I am looking for and tell them about how we had met in a dream once before.

I wake up and make notes on my long lucid dream, then go back to sleep and have more.

I meet a lady. We are both very excited and happy to see each other. I think she is Tatia, although she doesn't look like her. I ask if she is and she says yes.
But then I tell her not to just parrot me. I ask her if she really is and she says no. I ask "who are you? and "Where are you from?" She gives me two names. One is Pinky Pie(I don't even watch this show very much, but I see stuff about it online all the time.) Then she disappears.

Finally I decide I know where she must be. Then I find a girl sitting at a table, talking to others. She is happy and friendly. I sit beside her and say "let me look at you." Her face is similar to Tatia's. I consider that it could be her and she is still working on her form.
The person looks and acts like how I expected, but I still can't be certain that it actually is her.