side notes

I dreamed of normalizing numbers to enable better comparison, and plotting them on a chart.

This is actually something I am currently working on at work: an unfinished task which I shall do on Monday.

I wonder if the numbers in my dream represent something different than the numbers at work. Was this a straight dream of just working on a real life problem, and practicing it to help me do it better on Monday, or was it a reapplication of a technique from waking life to a different problem in a dream? I do not know. I do not remember anymore whether in the dream I knew what the numbers represented, I do not remember the actual numbers nor the resulting charts.

Was too tired, and consciously chose not to record a dream in middle of the night.

All I remember now is that it was an issue dream of some sort, but probably a REM not NREM, even at bet all I had would have been a fragment, and I remember thinking that it was not an important issue and not very interesting.

Btw, I woke up with the desire to try a WILD again only to be disappointed by finding out that it was almost time to get up on a work day. Tomorrow however is Saturday, and maybe I can try to WILD tomorrow morning.

EDIT: Interestingly I remember also thinking that this issue in this dream fragment was the same as in another dream fragment that I forgot once I moved.

It occurs to me that maybe my subconscious is trying to resolve some issue that it does not want my conscious to participate in at this time. Either that or my subconscious is blaming dream recall effort for my being too tired lately. Should I take a break and try again after a while?

Shoot I moved too early! I had it! Grr!!!

Something would not be so good for people if not something.(?)

This seemed like a fragment of a REM dream, watched like a movie with a moral to the story, but what was it?

I dreamed that just like when getting ice cream in grocery shopping counting it as food is a cheat, similarly dreams are a treat not art of a basic food group.

I think this dream was not really about ice cream as a metaphor for dreams, but rather it was a grumpy response from part ofe to the rest ofe saying that dreams are fun like ice cream but just like it they are optional and not essential. I think this dream may have been from the point of view of the part of me that does not want to put in the effort into remembering dream fragments: the foolish lazy part as most of me thinks of it.

Dreams are like fast cars for others. My dreaming mind added the "for others caveat" since I am not one to enjoy race car driving in waking life. Though I might enjoy it in a dream. I do not consider myself a good driver, though I am certainly competent enough, and I do need to drive every day. Just like we are inside airplanes we are inside cars. I am often in the drivers seat though given a choice I prefer my husband to drive - yes, this is probably not the best metaphor for me. More self-esteem issues around driving. Although even pancakes have some self-esteem issues for me: I feel my mother-in-law makes much better ones than I do.

I dreamed that dreams are like pancakes.

How are pancakes like dreams? I shape my dreams and cook them. They may start out shapeless and liquidy, but them they solidify like magic. When I eat my dreams, they become part of myself. Dreams are often circular: no end and no beginning, and often repeat. One can toss a pancake in the air, and watch it float like a magic carpet in a dream. Most people like pancakes/dreams. Just like a pancake may have blueberries or something else in it, a dream may hide a gem worth discovering. You pour syrup over a pancake to make is taste better and sweeter, and at times we disguise our dreams to be more palatable to ourselves. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and yet we hurry through it, and dreaming can similarly have a crucial often insufficiently recogniZed importance. My dreams spiritually nourish and sustain me. I do not have time to make pancakes except for on the weekend, and part of my mind has been fighting the dream recall effort as too much for everyday life. Just like pancakes dreams are shaped by culture (different international variations), there are family recipes, and individuals can experiment with making their own variations. Each of us can have our own pancakes, but it is possible to share a pancake (and many people claim one can share a dream). Even my picky water younger son likes pancakes, and dreams can appeal to everyone.

This is my third metaphor for dreams in my dreams: fish, airplanes, and pancakes. Unlike fish airplanes soar free instead of being confined by self-censorship to an aquarium, but unlike airplanes pancakes become part of me and are not up there but close at hand. Fish are slippery, airplanes and solid, and pancakes not so much - one can shape a pancake, whereas an airplane comes in a certain shape and cannot be actively changed. One can consume fish and pancakes (sort of like the biblical spiritual food of fishes and loaves of bread) whereas airplanes consume one. Will I let my predefined dreams consume me, or will I through dream interpretation and later through lucid dreaming redefine my dreams and incorporate them into myself? I am hoping for the later. I want to be in charge of my dreams! Though I am also in charge of my fish: I control every aspect of their environment in my fish tank - it is up to me whether they live and thrive or die. If I put in the effort and with proper knowledge I can control mg fish, though I may prefer to observe their antics instead and be surprised by what they teach me about nature. I can also control an airplane, but only if I am the pilot, not as a passenger in a commercial flight. Airplanes and dreams allow us to fly: something we humans long for. Pancakes are not as ordinary as they may appear, and baking pancakes or bread is an activity that shows greater sophistication, a higher level of culture - though airplanes are much more technologically advanced. Fish in the aquarium hobby appeal to aesthetics, whereas pancakes appeal to our taste buds - I am engaging a new sense here. Airplanes had added a louder sound, though fish tanks also have a sound component which is a white noise, but they ate not as loud as airplanes. Oh, and pancakes are much more mundane and approachable than airplanes: despite the potential for too much effort for every day pancakes, they could become an everyday food if I were motivated. Fish are part of my everyday life. Airplanes are not. Both fish and pancakes are something I am competent and capable at, whereas at least in waking lives I do not know airplanes on such a level and I rely on others to control (though in my dreams I could of course pilot an aircraft.

In this dream I was alternating names, sort of trying them on for size, like hats (I thought in hindsight, though sadly, no actual hats in this dream before waking up, which is a shame). They were mostly old family names, like my relatives maiden names, or names of close friends of the family.

This dream was all about self-identity, and I just know that part of why I dreamed it was because before going to sleep I tried to respond toa thread on dreamviews about changing gender in dreams. I say tried because I had server failed errors, so I do not know whether I actually did respond to that thread or not.

I also had some difficulty breathing in this dream, probably due to having a lot of congestion in real life, and hat raised the anxiety level in this dream.

Of course, given my struggles with myself lately and throughout life, anxiety about self-identity is not an unusual theme for me. Who am I? I am the one who is full of contradictions, and that's ok.

I think the fact that these were old family names is significant: I am aware that part of what makes me me is my family history, the women who came before me, who changed their names in marriage to redefine ourselves.

This dream fragment tricked my memory: I thought I remembered already writing it down, but I clearly did not!

This dream fragment during nap time was about dreams and censorship, and how dreams elude censorship, and how dreamviews is also free speech.

I think I remembered more than that right after the nap, but as I said my mind tricked me. Out of some reason both this and the previous dream fragment show that my subconcscious mind does not want to bother with writing down dream fragments any more, which at this point in my dream recall I cannot afford! Yikes!

My dreaming mind wants to know why bother with dream fragments. My waking self is shocked that this is not clear.

Too groggy now to type.

EDIT:
This dream fragment indicates that my subconscious mind is becoming impatient with dream journal and dream recall, and would like to cut some corners. My conscious mind says "No!" First of all right now most of the dreams I remember are dream fragments, and it's still way too early to take dream recall for granted and not to work on it as hard as I can. Also a lot of my dream fragments have been gems in my opinion: I greatly enjoy and treasure them, so not focusing on recalling and writing down all dream fragments would be a bad idea.

I remember a dream I had earlier tonight:

I was a teenaged boy (so definitely not myself). I had runaway from home, and had started being part of a bad crowd. The people I hung with appeared much older than me, and hardened criminals. I had a sense that they would not stop short of murder. I felt that I was I over my head, but a self proclaimed mentor tried to persuade me that I was where I belonged.

Interesting re-occurrence of self-proclaimed mentor idea

Oh this is so fustrating. I just had it! And it was cool, and kind of a combination of previous dream fragment, but different. I thought I had stabilized it, but then when I shifted and got IPad it was gone!

Definitely airplanes, this time military ones (after the fragment earlier tonight the mental image I got was of a large commercial airplane). Definitely also standing in for dreams.

Well since I can't remember what, I will improvise: dreams are like airplanes because ...

Flights of fancy
Flying is common in dreams

Why military airplane this time?

Getting ready to fight? The enemy? Myself? My low self-esteem (which is not nearly as low as it was two weeks ago)

I don't know, don't remember. Argh!

In this dream I remember discussing with someone about dreaming. He or she (don't remember) was saying that they need more dreams of X (unfortunately forgot what between wake up and writing). I remember saying that I have lots of that in my dreams, and suggesting they borrow some from me. Sort of like someone borrowing sugar from a neighbor.

Upon waking I found the concept of borrowing dream elements from others to be an interesting fancy that my dreaming mind came up with. The X could have been airplanes I think because whenever I try to recall what I get a mental image of an aircraft. Though in my dreams I do not actually dream of air planes, so it would be hard to lend my dreamed air planes to someone else. LOL

Upon waking my iPad brightness wouldn't adjust, so I did an RC but I seem to be awake. Still feel very groggy though.

I decided to take a nap because I am home and I can, and because I am still tired after my sickness.

Before going to nap, I had sent a friend request and a pm to gab.

As ai lay there, I decided to try to WILD since I have not really tried before, even though I before did not think I wanted to. Changed my mind.

I remember seeing some images: an art work vaguely reminiscent of the Mona Lisa, a very bright corridor, but at that point I was not sure yet whether I was dreaming or day dreaming - whether I had actually fallen asleep.

The first thing I saw when I was sure I was asleep already was that I had a Notification in dreamviews. Knowing it was a dream I clicked on it. Sure enough as expected it was a private message from gab. However, when I opened it, it was actually a message that I had previously gotten from gab and not a response to my friend request.

Then I woke up. Upon waking up before writing my dream journal entry, I checked dreamviews, and yes I had a message from gab replying to my friend request (she said yes). I then proceeded to write this dream journal entry and only once I had written a lot did it occur to me to check whether ai am still asleep (no I am not).

Yay, I did it! I had an LD! My first after many years.

This fragment asked the question: Is seasonal hunting cruel?
My dream answer: No.

So I continue my lessons in what is proper as I call them, or another way of looking at it is that my mind is struggling with issues of right and wrong, and checking what is right in my opinion. Not that I am ever going to do seasonal hunting myself, but I don't judge people who do. My mind wanted to verify that. Interesting.

In this dream fragment I remember looking for non-catatonic fish in the petstore, but during the dream also thinking that fish may stand for dreams (!).

Note: This was not a lucid dream, but just another example of a dream about dreaming, which I have been having a lot of.

Also note that Fishkeeping is another hobby of mine, and looking for new fish is a regular occurrence right now (about once a month), since I am in the process of slowly stocking my aquarium. When looking for new fish, one looks for lively ones, and thus non-catotonic kind of makes sense for fish, though it is an odd choice of words.

However if fish stands for dreams, and the choose off odd word matters, here is an online definition of catatonic from word.com website:

"1 : of, relating to, being, resembling, or affected by schizophrenia characterized especially by a marked psychomotor disturbance that may involve stupor or mutism, negativism, rigidity, purposeless excitement, and inappropriate or bizarre posturing

2 : characterized by a marked lack of movement, activity, or expression"

It makes sense that I would look for dreams that are non-catatonic!