A World In My Head!!

May, 2011

Synopsis: The Goblin King takes me away and forces me to sing (he was no david bowie!)

Note: Before I fell asleep, I asked my subconscious to make me lucid no matter what. I instantly thought of a gross restroom because thats a big dream sign for me. But I hate dirty restrooms, so I told my subcon, anything but that!

The Goblin King and My Song
(abstract portion of the dream) '
Me and my sis are watching Doctor Who. A storm descends onto a large building, and the Doctor knows "who" the storm is.

The Doctor climbs the tower to face this ancient demon, the lord of demons. He does his magical Doctor stuff, and creates a time vortex to suck up the demon and trap it for all time. The demon rears his ugly face as hes sucked into his demise. Hissing and screaming, he threatens that he'll return. And then, just before hes completely engulfed by the vortex, he spears the Doctor with his scorpion tail, and takes the Doctor with him into the abyss. The Doctor is dead.

(the dream becomes more vivid)
Years later, me and my sister were living safe on a hobbit hill, when I hear thousands of steps rushing towards us. Its a goblin army, an army that was once led by the lord of demons. If the army is back, does that mean the demon is back to?

The goblin army surrounds me and my sis and pins us down by spear point. "Friends of the Doctor, we will kill you!" they said revealing the plot line. I knew me and my sister were in danger because these goblins kill without mercy, unless

"We surrender! Take us to the Goblin King, so I can bow down before him!"

The goblins look at each other confused then sputtered "then we will!"

So they take me and my sister to the goblin castle. The King is said to be the right hand of the ancient demon, raised as his son. As we approach the throne room, every goblin and gobliness was so well mannered and regal.

"Presenting the two sisters of the hobbit hill!" Trumpets sounded. Guards open the golden doors. And a red carpet is laid out before the throne where a child was sitting! A kid! The Goblin King is a kid? I can play this game!

"Your majesty were so honored to meet you!" Me and my sister bow before the child king and his court filled with teenagers.

He doesn't look pleased. He looks really annoyed. And bored, which is dangerous, because maybe he thinks killing innocent people is fun.

"Do your people sing any songs?" He asks

"Lots, we have all sorts of songs"

"Sing me a song"

I know one! No wait. Every melody, every rhyme that Ive ever heard or known just disappeared from my mind. I stood there desperately with hundreds of teenagers and their caddy eyes watching me. I can't remember any songs! Why can't I remember?

I look to my sister whos not taking any of this seriously and she starts to sing "Twinkle twinkle little star" in a really weak voice.

The child Goblin King tightens his fist, I think he's snarling. This is not going good. My sis is gonna get us killed at this rate!

"My Lord!" I interrupt my sister "Can I sing to you in prose a song of my own? If only, you would provide the music?"

"Great idea!" He claps his hands and a band behind him begins to play.

My heart is racing. The dream feels too real. What am I doing? I can't sing! The music plays and plays. The goblin king taps his fingers. Hes getting impatient with me. The teenagers sneer.

"I..........love.........the wilderness..........

I love the burning sun in the sky
And the warmth on my skin"

The music is getting louder, and I sing louder too

"I love the river of the forest
And dipping my head in her waterfall"

The wild goblin teenagers are actually dancing to my crappy song, and with dream magic they sing along knowing everything Im going to say! The dream gets full blown Glee'ked! And the entire goblin court sings the chorus with me!

"Other people get drunk and wasted
Not me!
Nature's all I need!"

One blond goblin belts her lungs out and steals the show! Now even im getting into it!

"ohhhhhhh and the moooon! She's so beautiful
I'm in love!

We love the burning sun and the warmth on our skin!
And dipping our heads in the waterfall!

Other people get drunk and wasted!"

Which was really funny because half of the goblins were swinging their beers as they danced

"Not me!
Natures all I need!"

Im out of ideas, so I just repeat the entire song and they sing along. But the crowd starts to die out. And little by little I'm the last one singing and get the cue to shut up!

"Other people get drunk and wasted
Not me!"

I didn't even get to say the last line! They just exploded into cheers and clapping! Wow. Im so glad they liked my song!

The goblin king looks very pleased. He comes down from his throne and smiles at me.

"I have a gift for you!"

My sister interrupts him, all um, business like

"Thank you very much for your time Mr. Goblin and your kind gesture." And she holds out her hand to shake his

"Uh, no not you. Anyone but you. I should kill you"

And my sis takes an awkward step back and disappears from the scene.

"But you, follow me. There is something really special that I want to show you"

I silently follow the Goblin King, wondering what he wants to show me. But he takes me to....the bathroom?

The child king is now an old ugly goblin of a man. The public bathroom was horrifying! Goblins were crapping in the floors of the stalls! There is piss everywhere. And theres this machine in the center of the bathroom that actually squirts piss at you!

"Aaaahhhh!!"

"Aaawwww.....Pure urinic acid. Like lotion. I use it every morning" says the Goblin King as Im horrified

"Is..........this........what you wanted to show me?" No no no no.

"Actually sir" says a janitor who I think is just spreading crap and pee everywhere "Its really nasty stuff. And I dont think you should use it my Lord"

"What? No. My doctor told me, this shit is good for your skin. Urinic acid! Try it!" And he presses a button on the machine and it squirts pee at me

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

More crap plops on the floor next to me

"OMG!"

Someone get me out of here! Then I wake up. At first I'm pissed that the Goblin King showed me crap. But then I remembered that I asked my subconscious to make me lucid no matter what, but please no dirty bathrooms! Well the Goblin King didn't care and wanted to show me that I'm dreaming. Thanks Goblin King, even if I was too dumb to get the message!