The Kestrel's Dreams

June 23, 2014

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I was traveling with my dad (or rather, someone's dad. I wasn't "me" in this dream, but I don't know exactly who I was), and we had just walked through a large garden/yard, with paths cutting across in various spots. (Whoa, I just remembered a dream from ages ago)

We came up to a large house (two floors, lots of glass windows, I could see a huge TV on the ground floor) in a bowl-like yard. As we walked toward the house, to the left was a row of other, much smaller houses along a street. I don't remember noticing what was on the right side or behind the house (OMG I just remembered another dream from a long time ago. Shit, man)

That night, I was sitting outside the house, looking at the roofs of the line of houses to the left of the house. There was something strange about the gable of the house at the end of the row, closest to the garden/yard we'd come through to get to the house, though I can't remember exactly what ws strange about it. I just know that I was staring at it, inspecting it, trying to figure out why that different thing about it was different.

Then, there was a mother and her son walking in from that garden. I blinked, and I was out of my body, watching the mother and son running through that garden moments before. Then, I watched through the mother's eyes as she and her son jumped over a fence in the garden, figured out it was an enclosure, and jumped back over. I (she) was searching for something, but I didn't know what it was. I just knew that safety was just a little bit further ahead, but it was always just a little bit further ahead. Behind me, hopefully far behind me and my son, was an abusive husband-an abusive father. We'd run away from him.

My son and I descended into the bowl-yard (holy shit I keep remembering really random dreams from years ago) and got separated. I panicked. I looked every direction, but I heard a loud, sharp, painful BANG, more panic, I started running without much direction, looking for my son, when there was another BANG and everything stopped...

I left the POV of the mother then, and was seeing through my own eyes again; the mother and son had been two animals. I had thought they were human at first, since it was dark and I couldn't see well. I think they were deer, but I'm not certain. I turned to my right to see my father, holding a smoking shotgun. "Why did you kill them...?" I was shocked and so sad. "It was just a momma and her baby...!" I suddenly got super angry at him, and stormed off into the house. I ignored him for the rest of the night, and wouldn't speak to him the next morning. He kept trying to make me feel better, or to make up for killing the animals, but he wouldn't give me the one thing I wanted, which was an apology. He wasn't sorry at all, and that's why I was so fracking mad.

I had sat down in front of the huge TV at some point that day, but couldn't get it to work; there was some sort of password to make it work, and I didn't know it. I asked my father, who was in the kitchen, if he was at all sorry about shooting the son. He'd shot the young one first. "He was so young..."

But my father still wasn't sorry. I was so angry that I just left the house alltogether. I stood outside, wondering what I could possibly do. It wasn't much, but I decided to make a small memorial for the mother and son in the spot where the son had been shot. I went back inside to watch TV, since my father had gotten it working, but as I was searching for a channel, it turned off and I couldn't get it to turn back on.

So I went back outside, and suddenly, where I'd made the memorial, there was a bank drive-thru. My dream self (who still wasn't really me) didn't seem to be surprised, haha. I walked up to the teller and asked to withdraw $10 from my account. The teller smiled and asked me when I would like the withdrawal to arive at my house.

"Can't I just get the money now...?"
"Oh, no, you need a Start Account for that. Normal accounts can only withdraw on a 2-day minimum waiting period."
"Well how do you know I don't have a Start Account...?" I asked.
The teller pointed to a few people who were suddenly there. They all had a small blue pin on their chests. The pins had "Start" written in mirror-writing in white ink. I looked down at my own chest; I had no pin.

Then I woke up.