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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 29 Aug: Dragged down by a flashflood, part of a gang of poor kids in the 1900s

      by , 08-29-2021 at 10:13 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some huge event. Among the guests there is even a prince with his fiancé and everyone is clapping for them when they arrive. I watch it all from a very detached perspective, feeling very sad. Then recall it's because my own fiancé is away, he is always away and my heart aches for missing him. Then a couple body guards rush to me and take me up a staircase saying we have to evacuate and I ask why and they don't say, but soon after we are hit by a torrent of water and dragged down. We struggle to hold on to each other. I hold hands with one of the guards and there is another one a bit more distant who also grabbed a couple more people. I try grabbing them and make a chain, trying to keep us all together. I feel we might drown, the current is so strong, that my thoughts race through my mind. I remember clearly I don't actually love this rich fiancé I don't even know, but someone else. I get semi lucid and recognize this isn't my real life. The water finally starts subsiding after it dragged us downhill for quite a while and we reached the river Tagus. In the aftermath of this flashflood, I realize we are in Lisbon. We don't know the origin of this flash flood because it hand't rained, but I fear another torrent might come at any moment and tell the people around we should go back to higher ground. But they are all against it and wish to remain by the river.

      I am then in the 1900s, I am a very poor girl with very poor friends in a village. We hang out and we steal or whatever necessary to survive another day. We know of a guy who hides something valuable, like a drug he trades, inside a closet hanging inside a coat on a hanger and not in the safety of his home, but at some public place like a club he attends. So we sneak in and steal it.Then it is lunch time and we are about to heat up some food to eat. We just gather some dry leaves and twigs and start a small fire in the middle of a quiet street in a poor neighborhood, where that's normal and other people do as well. We share a meal and say jokes. I am hald lucid and know this is a dream, so I feel like we aren't actually any different from us in 2020, we just have different jobs and different tech, but the rest feels very much the same. We meet a well-off couple from the big city, they do something in the "medicinal" area and they come to buy our drugs, but they like very much the looks of one of my friends. He is pretty good looking with blonde air and a manly face. They offer him a job as some kind of PR or salesman. They think he will be an asset to them because of his looks, after they train him and clothe him. We are very happy for him and he promises to help us out and maybe bring us to the big city with him when he is settled and affords to rent a house.
    2. 28 Aug: Purge like situation and running from attackers

      by , 08-28-2021 at 09:55 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a huge place wth different departments, can't tell exactly what it is, seems like a company. Suddenly all turns into silence and people seem to form groups and start killing each other mindlessly, as in the Purge. I am caught in a large open space office with a group of 4 people with guns but all I have for my defense is office supplies and a bar code scanner, which I aim at the eyes of an attacker to defend myself. I turn a table upside down and from behind it I throw stuff at attackers and then manage to escape. I meet some nordic man who is a researcher or something else with some status in his country for some reason. I get really upset when others try to kill him, so along with a couple other people, we decide to protect him no matter what. One of the killers gets closer and I recognize him as a friend of mine, so I am shocked, but he laughs in my face. Asks me to surrender the guy, we don't. I say he might make me bleed but then I am gonna kill him. We escape this place and enter a moving train, but I am sure some of our attackers have managed to also get into it. I try to find a place where we can be safe. I pass by a wagon where I find Zilla with her partner and her baby. They are entertaining guests as if they were at home. I stop for a while just to kiss and greet. Then quickly move on. I spot our attackers, they are now wearing Halloween costumes and people are amused by it. I jump from the train and hope to make them chase me. I enter some warehouse. They follow me. I spot a small window between some shelves and sneak out through it. Outside I find the back of a museum and there is some construction work going on. I keep running across the place and enter the museum. Inside is happening Comic Con.
    3. 27 Aug: Poltergeist, weird workshop, friend on space trip, muslim extremists

      by , 08-27-2021 at 09:30 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At my parent's house, sleeping on the couch. Some news on tv about a poisonous spider that has been spotted in exotic fruits, mostly bananas and might accidentally be brought home with the groceries. I am too sleepy to care about it, but my dad goes around the house removing cobwebs and killing harmless spiders just in case. I later wake up and I am with Riverstone instead. I am attacked by some poltergeist and pushed and pulled through the air like a rag doll. It's not hurting me and Riverstone finds it kinda funny, but I am getting sick of it. I force myself to reach the bathroom and look in the mirror, wishing the spirit to show in the mirror. It does and it is a young boy. Slowly I realize it is a young Riverstone, which I tell him, by yelling across the hallway. He does not believe me. I splash the boy with water and smile to tease him. He does not react, he just smiles back and go away, but first, out of spite, he shrinks my cat Yéti to a hand size. I feel he is actually afraid of being alone, so I tell him to come around to play, if he behaves.
      I then go to attend some workshop on how to renew some license on something. It's at some office place at post-working hours. Meeting is on the 2nd floor and there are signs pointing towards the direction to follow. Up there, some people are just hanging, others are already seated at tables, I chose a table to sit at and then some weird shit starts. It seems like this ain't their 1st meeting. Apparently they all know each other and some people complain about the teacher. She comes forward to apologize for something but it felt more like a public flogging. People get up from their seats and continue accusing her of many things, others hug each other in support and others seem to just ignore it all and keep on filling forms. I am sure that I got in the wrong group and I am stimming by kneading some colored silly putty I found around. One lady starts talking to me in french, asks me if I am autistic. I raise my eyes to her and she immediately steps back and apologizes saying I am not. I reply in french "No, but I actually am". And she seems confused, points out traits she doesn't spot on me. I explain it manifests differently for every autistic and that I have other traits. Then my french doesn't go so far and I end up speaking in english. Anyway, I've decided to leave, so I abruptly get up and leave. I reach the door and it is raining cats and dogs. A couple of people who are at the door smoking or getting some air, look at me like "well, you ain't goin' nowhere". But I step out in the rain anyway and look for my car keys as I head to my car, because I don't want to stay around these people anymore. I can't find my keys, so I freak out. Soaked wet, I sit at some garden bench and dive into my purse, which is absolutely empty except for the car key in a pocket. But then the key is broken at the top, I might insert it but probably can't turn it around to start the car. I think about having to go back to the building and try get some help.

      I am just coming from my mom's and about to pass under the highway overpass to enter the main road, when a gate falls down and closes in front of me, not allowing to do so. There are military all over and one by one they shut down all passages under the overpass, with enormous gates between the pillars, cutting people off. They say this is the most recent quarantining measures, and I imagine my mom freaking out when she finds out. They tell me it is just over the weekend, but it feels more definitive. Supposedly we can still travel freely to East, just not take the road to north and south, but I wonder how far East we can go until we find another blockade. I also wonder if I just walk South over the hills, if they have put any other barriers ahead or if I could come through.

      Zilla went to space on a research project, while pregnant and everything is just unbelievable. I go visit her in her lab when she is back to earth and my dad comes along and his only comment his "I still don't like her much, but I gotta hand it to her, she achieved the highest achievement possible" and I know he means "and what have you done?". And I feel such a loser, but I decide to ignore him and concentrate on my friend. I give her a big warm hug, feeling happy that she is ok and she goes on telling her adventures, which I relive as if I was actually there. They went on a ship like a huge space shuttle, which orbited the earth for just about a week and somehow had artificial gravity. Zilla had some claustrophobia at first, especially when first realizing "I am on a spaceship!". I see her seated to eat at the canteen with panoramic views to space and then going to bed, in a common room, with lower ceiling and also panoramic windows above head. Before I leave, she takes me to see the ship, which is now all broken after some accident on reentry (not on her mission, but right after hers). There are plans to recover it, but I wonder if it makes sense at all considering the damage. The middle section is crunched like an accordion.
      When I am about to leave, I watch a couple, she is arabic and muslim and wearing a niqab and he is an american in jeans. She is yelling at him that it makes no sense that he left her. She says he turned a muslim for her and then started demanding she wear a burqa, while he himself continues wearing jeans and shirts and shaves just like a normal westerner. He doesn't have any justification for it, just says he wants nothing with her anymore and that she has to follow him to some place, like a court or something. She on the other hand says she is also bringing a case to court against him, so she agrees joining him to whatever thing he is also concocting. I follow then and take a sneak peak to inside the room they entered and all I can see is a bunch of bearded muslim men sitting against the wall at the end of the room, quiet and watching. Then she leaves the place through a back door, clearly upset. Unfortunately, four of those men also go after her and they carry knifes in their hands. I follow them to try to save her, but they corner her in the back of some building and I don't see anyway to help her without also getting killed. I hide under a tarp and see she manages to go through a door to some other building. But it is some dead end and they surround her and stab her. I get out from under the tarp and run towards the main street, which is just at the end of a small perpendicular street. I bump into a policeman and drop a camera I supposedly was carrying, but I don't recall taking pics. Anyway, one of the 4 men spotted me and is coming towards the policeman. By the look of the cop and the way he seems to want to delay me and not protect me, I realize he is an accomplice, so I run to the middle of the road and into the crowd. I hear the cop telling the guy I have a camera and possibly have photos. I sneak behind some panels hiding some construction work and I am thinking whether I enter a shop behind it or go down a manhole on the ground that is open.
    4. 21 Aug: Meeting a professor at a university and causing a stir

      by , 08-21-2021 at 08:57 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      On my way to meet some professor I am supposed to interview while we take a journey on a hot air balloon for a radio show or podcast. It's the end of the day and rhe sky is gorgeous with pink clouds, so I am rehearsing in my mind the description I am going to make during the broadcast. I am on the highway, but not actually driving inside any car, more like flying or sliding through it. Then I wonder why not just take off and go straight to me destination if I am flying? I do and the ground becomes like a 3D google map. I keep my focus on where I want to go and turns out it is to the church hill in my hometown. I land there, at the base of the hill and then walk it up. But instead of the church, there is some other building on it, like a university and I wonder where I am supposed to go, so I enter the lobby and look around. I see no one that looks like the professor, so then I look back to outside through the glass doors at the entrance and I spot a very low key dude sitting in a table on a corner right outside the entrance. I wonder if it is him and so I go back outside. He is on the phone with his wife and has a sort of pager bipping on the table. He makes a sign for me to wait. His wife is yelling at him to check his pager as some friend is coming over or something and she wants him to drop everything and go home. But very calmly he tells her no and says he won't even read or reply to any messages. Then he gets up and shakes my hand. Says it's late and we can't go on the balloon anymore. I tell him I am sorry, but feeling confused why then we arranged to meet in the evening. I ask him to suggest then what we can do. He tells me we can do something different and then starts singing. He has an impressive voice and he sings a Coimbra fado. He suggests he can do some singing and then we talk about his project. But he also says it won't be today as he will just show me what he is working on. He tells me to follow him to his office. It's when I notice everyone is staring at me. Because I am dressed in lolita style, with socks over my knees with ribbons, fluffly skirt and a couple of braids. Also carrying a black leather hand bag. The university students are making funny comments and laughing and when they see us entering his office, I overhear some people making dirty jokes. They think I am a prostitute satisfying his weird fantasies and that I carry certain type of objects in my bag. He also hears it but he completely ignores it. I admire his cool. So he sits at his desk and shows me some logaritmic equation and guides me through it showing the answer at the end is "pp" and that is supposed to be a good spicy math joke. I find it silly, but I smile and I wish I could still remember how to solve such a simple equation. Then we discuss our main project which is the integration of his website with the one from my own department and university, joining two entirely different fields in a collaborstive project. At this point, a couple of his female colleagues in their late 50s come in and sit at his invite. He then goes out briefly and they start with innuendos that I am derailing the professor's marriage and that I should be ashamed. And I am like "WTF? you have no idea what we are working on!" and I am pissed how much people assume because of me being a young lady with a certain look. Then they mention his wife and they know he ignored her calls because she then called them. They also mention I might not be actively trying to seduce him, but they can see it in his eyes that he is attracted to me me and I actually feel flattered. I thought he was totally cold and uninterested but know I kinda like the idea.
    5. 19 Aug: Surreal backrooms and lucid swimming in the ocean and creating garden of Eden

      by , 08-19-2021 at 08:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      The big news is that it was made a first successful human head transplant and it was made by switching the heads of two persons. My mom tells me this could be good for Riverstone because they can just switch him to a new body. I am wonderding if he'd do it and struggle with the idea of having my head severed and plugged with tubes and being attached to a replacement body.

      At home with Riverstone and I am butt naked when I spot my dad through the window, bringing someone else with him. I look around for a robe to wear and find nothing. Riverstone is already at the door to open it, so I can't sneak out to my room, because I'd have to come near the door. I have a very long t-shirt and a cardigan in my office, so I put those on. But I am not entirely comfortable as I am wearing no underwear. My dad comes in and finds something strange in my attitude, then I see my uncle Fernando is the person he brought along and I rejoice seeing him as I never got so say goodye when he died. Then I see Rui and I am over the top thrilled. He looks younger and healthier than when I also last saw him and I hug him tight. I ask him to join me outside while my dad and uncle talk. He holds my hand and I take him through a door which instead of taking us outside, takes us into a sequence of surreal rooms and storages, until we get to a small room with victorian decor and a velvet green sofa. We lock the doors on both ends and we kiss and make out sitting on that sofa. But when I stop kissing him for a while, he turns into some girl with black hair. She is cute and all but not whom I was engaged with, so I let her go and leave to the surreal corridor behind the door. I start being chased by a ghost. I can feel it and sometimes even see it as it creates a distortion in the background. I grab a stiletto shoe I see on a shelf and start hitting it when it comes too close. It is invisible but has mass when I hit it. It gives up hiding and appears in a visible form. It is a very big frog and it was just trying to protect something and not attack me. I look behind it and I see what seems like a shop with everything related to frogs. I find it absurd. Then I look around and see now that I am at some huge mall. There are people entering a big supermarket, there is a floor with just cinemas, there are many shops... I don't know what triggers me, but I feel upset with the mindless consumerism that I see, so I raise my hands in the air to destroy some billboard or screen with telekinesis power and I watch people freaking out and panic
      . I become lucid and know I won't hurt any real people, so I start making everything collapse into dust. Then outside I see other big buildings, cars and machines and I turn them all to dust. I want to experience a world where none of this exists anymore amd soon I am walking around in an idylic paradise. Looks like the garden of Eden, food grows in beautiful gardens full of flowers, lambs lay down in the middle of the flowers, people are sitting everywhere in the grass and around lakes, just enjoying themselves and the sun and beauty of the world. Seems wonderful and after a while also quite boring. Nobody does anything but contemplate. The weather is fantastic, food is provided abundantly, no one has to do anything which is great, but then I think maybe a couple cinemas and other entertainment here and there would not be so bad after all, if people kept a healthy balance.
      Anyway, I decide to jump to some other random place/dream so I use a puddle of water as a portal. I plunge into it and as I do, I remember some friend had asked me if I had ever swimmed under water in dreams and how it felt, and I think I did but here is a good chance to try again. Instead of coming out on some dry place, I just dwell on this water and swim away. It becomes an ocean and I see corals and sea urchins and I concentrate on the sensations I am feeling, like breathing under water and the sensation of water in my hands as I push it. It does not feel exactly like the real thing. It feels much more like I am actually flying over the water and what I feel around my body is thicker air and not really water. But I plunge deeper and manage to get a more realistic sensation. I even hold my breath to better simulate the experience.
    6. 18 Aug: Leaving a competition, confused about my life and seducing an assassin

      by , 08-18-2021 at 09:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At a contest. First is supposed to be a math contest, but then it turns into a cooking contest. There is a short break for some rest and I go mess with the ingredients in the fridge for the next competition, e.g. I hide the onions of one of my competitors.
      And then I just go away, I guess not interested anymore in participating. Instead I am wondering about some personal problems. I am not talking to my best friend and with the friend with whom I just lost virginity but I can't remember who cut communications with whom. Then I come across my best friend and ask her about it bluntly. She is so very surprised, because she thought I was the one giving her a cold shoulder and she didn't know why. I explain her I had seen her in a compromising situation with my boyfriend, and that's when it all started, but she explains it was all a misunderstanding, He just wanted to ask her something personal about me, because he was worried about it. So we hug and forgive. We hug maybe a bit too strongly and we fall on the ground. People start giving us looks and I joke with them saying "yes, we are lesbian!" so then my friend kisses me passionately just to shock them even further. We laugh and then get up and I ask her for help with my boyfriend. She says ok and tells me he has been taking care of our child all by himself since I stopped communicating and I am shocked to know that we have a child (how, if I just lost virginity with him!??). I call him and we clarify things and I run to meet him. He is with his family, who has been helping him take care of our baby. I say I am so sorry and will take if from now on. Then I also feel guilty about that contest that I had left and I call someone to fix the ingredients that I messed with.

      I have been coming across this gorgeous hot guy who dresses like an anime fighter and I have been trying to get his attention. Some day I am skating and I bump into him, kind of on purpose, but he doesn't seem upset. I don't force it and I keep skating down the street slowly, to keep up with his pace. and we flirt and smile a little at each other. I keep seeing him around a college campus and I am smitten. But one day I accidentally watch him shoot some people, hitman style and I panic. I run away but think he heard me. I get down to the basement to some gym storage, behind some big mattresses, but they keep slipping and at some point he sees my head. I come out to beg for him not to kill me. He has his gun with a silencer pointed at me, his face is cold and he seems ready to shoot. I tell him he doesn't need to kill me, that I love him and want to be with him, despite what I saw. He seems to be a loner, so I sense that I hit some soft spot a bit. I slowly come closer and he puts the gun down. I stand in front of him and I kiss him. I think I am doing this mostly not to die, but I also don't mind a little action with him cause he really is hot and gorgeous. He lays me down on those mattresses and we start making out. I am super horny. But he kisses like a fish out of the water trying to grasp for some air, it's kinda disgusting. Also, when I touch his pants, he recoils. I don't force it, but hope he just needs some warming up. Except he doesn't really get excited and says he can't and I understand he has some potency problem. He makes a remark saying he finds sex yucky. I don't wanna lose my edge, so I make him feel comfortable saying me too, because of all those bodily fluids and that I just prefer hugging and cuddling. At least he doesn't seem to be thinking of killing me anymore. Then a couple of his friends come by on bikes, one is Jacob from Twilight in leather pants and a vest and he also looks so yummy and the other is some girl. She jumps on the bike with Jake leaving the other one for my assassin guy and he expects me to jump on it with him. I do, but now I am definitely more interested in boinking Jacob.
    7. 17 Aug: Leaving Afghanistan

      by , 08-17-2021 at 09:49 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am in Afghanistan and about to leave, but first I am going to say bye to a tailor who is my friend. There is a line of women stretching for like 50 meters, in despair, trying to order burqas so they can cover themselves. The tension is high. First I turn away to leave, but then decide to go back and wait a little bit to see if I can reach my friend. I watch these women and I cry for them. A couple men come by and start checking the women standing in line, bullying those who are less covered or in western clothes. I know I can't do anything, so I leave and avoid looking any man in the eyes. Some kids with water guns spray water on me and I say nothing and just carry on. I know how easily the men would just kill me for saying anything. I am scared and heartbroken.
    8. 15 Aug: Agent of the TVA (Loki reference)

      by , 08-15-2021 at 09:39 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      A dream inspired by Loki the TV series. First I am just watching some scene with Loki. There are two of them, the main one and another who could be his younger brother and they are disagreeing on how to proceed about something and they almost fight. But then the younger one recognizes that he made some judgement mistake and turns around completely. As they follow the main Loki plan, I watch it unfold, Then I also have a mission in which I have to go with a colleague to the 50's, looking for an anomaly in the timeline. We enter a bookshop and I immediately spot a book on the display that does not seems to fit the time. It is a used book, illustrated, very damaged. I check it and it contains short stories with concepts way advanced for this time and even historical references that don't belong here. As I read it, a couple with kids comes in and I try to not interact with them, but straight away they get curious about the book I am reading. I try to deflect their attention, but they insist, so I kinda explain what it is while skipping the most problematic stuff and I say I am buying it, to see if they lose interest. And then the couple starts fighting or something over one of their girls running away. They ask for our help, They say she is a problem, lives in her own world. Ask me if I wanna take her. I find that odd. But then I meet her. I find her at a nearby beach, on a ruin in the sand. There is some kind of broken metal tower and she is sitting in a hollow space near the top. She has a small device in her hands, like a handmade radio and explains to me she uses it to capture the signal that comes from the moon. That signal is ours. She says there is a whole reality people don't know about and this transmission is proof and she wants to decode it. I understand we actually have to take her. She belongs with us.
    9. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    10. 7 Aug: Love affairs and chased by panthers

      by , 08-07-2021 at 07:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Hanging out with Riverstone and Nighthawk. We are sitting on the floor or something like a big mattress, we are talking and playing some game. I am closer to Nighthawk, who is to my right and Riverstone is across the floor/mattress, opposite of us and a bit more distant. I am sharing something with Nighthawk and naturally there are hands touching, then I lean over his leg. With innocence, I stay close to him and we kinda cuddle up. I caress his leg, he caresses my hair and it is the most natural thing in the world. But Riverstone gets all jealous and threatens him. Says if he chooses to go down that road, their friendship is over and to think it through. I say it doesn't have to be like that, but he insists I have to chose. And I say "don't make me chose because you won't be the winner." But for the moment we all break apart to clear the mood. I go outside and I get to some platform from which emergency stairs go down. I see I am really high up. There is a river below and I see some people floating on some platforms that I understand are pieces being placed at a construction project on the river, maybe a bridge is gonna be built. On the shore I see a grizzly bear approaching a person, doesn't seem aggressive though, so I keep quiet. But then someone comes and warns of another bear climbing up the stairs and we climb down this structure through the sides, avoiding the stairs. When we reach ground floor, unfortunately we encounter two black panthers someone keeps on a chain, leaving only a few centimeters of space between them, through where we can pass and is damn scary. We have to go inside the building to go out through the front door, but the panthers break the chains and we have to run up the emergency stairs again, keeping in mind the bear and the panthers. A lot of parkour and climbing and dangling dangerously dozens of meters above the ground, but we kinda escape. Then I spot my cat Yéti on the ground and the panthers going after him. Luckily they don't harm him, he escapes, but I now want to rescue him at all cost. I go down again and devise a plan to lock the panthers in some room. Doesn't go well and I lock myself with Yéti in a room, while one panther escapes to the street and the other tries to break our door down. I go out through the window but the one outside catches my foot and I wake up from the pain of the bite.

      Updated 08-07-2021 at 07:20 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    11. 6 Aug: Flirting with cousin, meeting Nighthawk, exploring backrooms and a tornado

      by , 08-06-2021 at 05:56 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Surreal family encounter, my cousin is still alive and so happy to see me, our energy is pretty good. We flirt, but we have to hide it from the family, so he starts reading poetry out loud from a book and sending me his messages that way. I understand what he is doing, He mentions he'd like to kiss me.
      Then chaos ensues with an electrical storm. There is a circus passing by and strong winds push everything and everyone in different directions. I end up in a Merry-go-round with Captain Jack Sparrow. I wonder about my cousin left behind, but tell myself I wouldn't mind making out with Johnny Depp either. But he is drunk and misbehaving and things go from bad to worse. Then it's like I am seeing myself through a 3rd person or in a movie and the movie dissects how he was actually sober and a really nice guy and it was me, a mentally ill person who messed up. I feel depressed and go for a walk.
      Then I am near Nighthawks house and decide to go to a place nearby take care of some business. I hope he doesn't see me passing by his door and thinks I am there looking for him. I am walking fast but think I spotted him in the crowd on the street through the corner of my eye. I reach a nearby mall and move through the corridors, reaching an art gallery or museum with several exhibits. I feel this is not what what I came for, so I plan to go back and figure out my way, when Nighthawk surprises me. He is looking dandy, in a light brown corduroy blazer. Asks me what I am doing here, that he saw me passing by and followed me. I say hi and I feel an awkward desire to hug and kiss him. Seems like he does to, but we both hold back. We sit on a bench and I explain what I am doing here and where I am meaning to go, He first offers to come along but suddenly holds my hand and says "We're not going there, we're going to my home" and my heart races. We just get up and walk fast through the crowd holding hands. I kiss his hand. When the crowd gets thicker and we get stuck in the middle of people, I hug him and feel his body hot and sweaty. I am also hot and sweaty. But it isn't off putting, much the contrary. I wonder if I am properly shaved (lol) but in the end I am not really feeling hung up by my insecurities, I am genuinely ready to let go of everything and just spend all day with him making out, making love. I feel beyond thrilled that he is not holding back anything either. But before we go, he stops by some tables where a group of ladies dressed in vintage clothing (like 18th or 19th century) are chatting and drinking tea. He says he was coming to meet them to discuss some film they are collaborating on and he just needs 5 min with them. I also sit and he introduces me. They are so interested in me because of something he says about me. Food is served to the table and they offer me some kind of crunchy bread.

      Again with my family, I think in my paternal grandma's village. It's late evening, it is getting dark. We see a fire in the distance and seems to be in the area of grandma's house. We worry and head there but as we approach, we see it is some other house. It is an historical building, of a large wealthy family and the fire is on the 1st floor. The family is moving in and out and I wonder what they are doing. They are taking the elderly out but the youngest keep going inside trying to put out the fire. Seems confined to that floor for now and they say it is also in one particular room. I manage to go inside to help. they don't allow me to enter the room on fire, but I make it to the next room and spot fire coming through the walls and starting to set an old dresser on fire, so I put it out. Then the owner of the house comes in, seems like this is his bedroom, and asks what am I doing here and to get out. He his a big man, dark skin, hairy, big belly, looks middle eastern. He acts like nothing is going on and he plans to go rest on his bed. Seems they managed to control the fire and the whole family is back to normal. Nobody seems to care about my presence, so I take the longer way out, so I can see the rest of the house, which is amazing. I head down to the basement, they have a wine cellar and 3 guys are there talking. I spot a cat carrying a kitty on her back and comment how cute that is. Then the guys notice me and while one who loves cats smiles and engages with me, the others invite me out, so I finally reach for the door. Outside is daylight already. The guy who fancied me came along and I also join some friends that stood outside waiting for me. We walk through this beautiful romantic city that looks from the 18th century, with incredible parks and iron bridges. The guy that came along is about to go his own way, as he feels he doesn't belong in our group, but I let it slip that I find him cute, so now he looks really distressed and keeps walking with us. He is making me nervous so I ask what is he thinking and he confesses he doesn't want to leave me because he is also attracted to me and doesn't want to blow a chance of something happening between us. But I am not that interested and now I kinda fear him a bit, because he seems like he might just snap and drag me behind some bushes and rape me.
      Then we come across a weird place with colorful tiled hallways forming some kind of maze in a park. In some places the tiles form geometric designs like rectangles within rectangles and they don't feel like just decorative.
      I feel they are portals, so I decide to try and plunge into one. I get inside a large place that feels very much like "the backrooms". Besides this large room, I see openings to other rooms and corridors all covered in these yellow and red tiles. I fear it a little bit but decide to trust my powers that I can just decide to cross any wall to get out. So I risk exploring a bit and find one large room whose floor is inclined and becomes ever more inclined as I go further. At some point I decide to just have a bit of fun falling down that rabbit hole and I take my feet of the ground and base jump. But it seems to go on forever, so when it is getting stressful, I spot a square opening on the diagonal floor/wall to another tiled room a level below. It seems horizontal, a place where I can walk right up again, so I fly in, to go there. Once back to a stable horizontal room, I again cross the wall and get out, exiting to the hallway at the park. I find my friends there, but also a bunch of other people around some lady. She can also open the portals on the walls and she uses the rooms like personal vaults. And she cons people. She claims nobody can go inside or risks getting trapped there forever (except her servants who are stacking boxes in there under her command and control). She claims the boxes are full of some cryptocurrency that these people gave her money for. I say that's not how it works and she is pissed. She tries to send me away but I enter one of the rooms that has the portal open. I crash into the pile of boxes, not sure what I am doing, but I expose they are full of buttons and other small plastic pieces. Her goons come to attack me, but I move faster and I get out of there. Problem is one of my friends that came to the rescue, is in a choke hold by one of the goons and I have to go back to rescue her. We all escape and start running down those tiled hallways. Then a pink tornado forms at the end of the hallway forcing us to go back. The tornado is growing and we decide to jump out of the maze to the park, then we parkour through the cityscape getting closer to the river where we find a retro shopping center encroached on a hill, which confers great protection. There is a bunch of old ladies sitting in park benches outside and we yell that a tornado is coming and they don't get it. They recognize it is a little windy and accept maybe a storm is forming but don't have a clue what a tornado is. We almost have to push them. Once inside, everybody is seeking cover in the innermost areas of the mall and we hunk down against a wall waiting for the tornado to hit.