Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Sleeping in my bedroom with a friend who's staying over. We're at my old parents house, in my parent's bed, because it's bigger for the two of us. My mom is sleeping in the couch or not at all. Then I wake up very early morning and my dad is laying behind me, I have no panties and he is penetrating my anus. I feel totally disgusted and get up in a jolt and punch him, saying that it was the last drop. My friend wakes up spooked. I make a scene dropping all my anger on him and saying I am no longer treating him as my dad and that I lost the last ounce of respect I had for him. I go to the bathroom to wash myself. Meanwhile my mom heard some noise and woke up and came to see what's up. I hide in the bathroom and don't want to tell her. My friend doesn't know what to say and my father comes up with some excuse. Anyway, the dawn comes, so I pretend I just woke up early and I am preparing for school normally. After I get dressed, I go to the kitchen to have some breakfast and through the open window enters a raven. At first I try not to scare it away but then he makes sounds as if he wants some help, so I grab some food and approach to see if he wants. Then I notice he has a broken jaw and a broken beak and looks awfully thin. Was probably hit by a car and is in pain. I pick him up and take him to my bedrooms' balcony. I look for some box to put him in but all I find is some pillow. I drop him on it and tell him I will be back soon to care for him. I think about calling the wildlife protection services when I cross paths with my mom in the hallway and she is with three male and a couple female brazilian teens from her evangelical church (when she attended church). The guys come from the bathroom where they were washing hands and the girls have a tiny kitten in their hands and they are all saying they adopted him and she begs them not to abandon him when he grows up. They seem a bit overwhelmed with the long term commitment. I see my dad again coming out of the kitchen and wanting to make amends with me and I yell that I'll never allow him to touch me again and he may stop expecting us to have any sort of relationship. My mom hears this and she doesn't understand what's going on. Thinks I am being harsh with him and makes a sympathethic look towards him. I still don't wanna tell her what happened, just say this is how it's going to be from now on.
[Note: my dad was always a bit of a creep, but I have no conscious memory of him abusing/raping me, despite my dreams about it]

I'm watching Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid movie. At the end, when I think they died I get the message that they actually never die and that there are multiple films after this one in which they always come back miraculously from their apparent death at the end of every film. I am surprised and happy to know it. The I am actually the lady who is their lover in the film and I am at home waiting for them. I casually tidy up the house which has some active fires from some small explosions that took place earlier in the movie and then I start putting food in a fridge. When they return, I scold them but I really feeling happy that they are alive.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my paternal grandma's house, fighting with the front door that I think is locked but at the minimum touch just falls out of place. My aunt Ana comes by, very distressed and says I should try again to close it, but only after she goes outside for a bit. She goes outside and warns me about my cousin Cris who is apparently causing mayhem inside, with threats to her parents and whatnot. Then some shadowy figure passes by me and I think it's her, but it is actually Duarte. He doesn't even say hi to me, just seems to want to avoid our family altogether and also heads outside in the semi darkness of dusk, to stand alone and quiet. Then my uncle is in the kitchen, quietly avoiding talking about it when Cris erupts from inside the house and heads outside to lash out on my aunt. I try to rationalize what is going on and say to myself they just need to talk. Then I go to the living room to meet my mom. The corridor light is off and the living room is also in total darkness. I feel goosebumps because of the ghost at the end of the corridor, but knowing my mom is in there calms me down. I enter the room touching around blindly, and hear my grandma's voice. She is clearly hallucinating, talking about some past job and arguing that she can do some task. I am not sure if I should tell her the truth or play along, then my mom suggests that I should pretend, so I sit down on the floor besides the sofa where she is laying down and I put a hand on her body, and play along with her story, making up replies to whatever she says.

I'm in a world where people of different tribes are ruled by fear of some thugs who took control. Every month or so they select one tribe and ask them to offer a bunch of people to sacrifice. From that group they usually only kill two, but it depends. If people volunteer, then maybe they don't pick others. This time is my tribe's turn and I am part of the group who volunteered to go. I have managed to convince them to actually start an uprise. All of us are willing to die for it, but we want to succeed, so we contact the leaders of other tribes before going. We don't manage to get even one to join us, but I am convinced they will if we start something and show them we can win. When we're there, we're almost caught conspiring but we manage to pretend we're just preparing for our sacrifice. The guy who almost caught us, has a huge crush on me and I know he will not let me be chosen, but he hints that in exchange he will probably be able to keep me as a slave for himself. I wonder how I can use that to our advantage on the day of our revolt, but it isn't clear. For now, it allows me to get closer to him and he takes me to see the location and stage of the sacrifice event, so I use the chance to study details that might be useful. One thing I notice is that a big storm is coming and might wreak havoc the next day, helping us. On the day of the sacrifice, our leader decides to offer himself and he leads the way. Then he kills the guards and starts the fight. The storm had happened at night and left damages in a dam nearby. So we sent someone to blow it up and it breaks apart. The water floods the district where the dominant tribe lives, killing and scattering them. These images are broadcasted to everyone else who then joins us in the fight. We win at the end.

With my mom attending some conference in a big tent in some exotic place. People from all over the world and it is all in english. I ask if she understands what is being said, and she says it's ok, but I can see she is making a big effort to follow. It is supposed to be about facing climate change and adapting as a society but soon I recognize the speakers and realize it will be a bunch of disinformation and new age BS about changing consciousness and moving to other dimensions. I tell her that, but I think she knows and doesn't care. I cope with the first session, but at the break, I go outside to breathe deep and I am amused at the kind of people who are there. There is a group sitting on top of a wall focusing down on a rock trying to make it levitate. Just for fun I tell them "try me" and then I start levitating. Unlike what happens in other dreams, they actually gasp and are shocked. They immediately know it wasn't their powers that did it, so it could only be my own. Soon I am surrounded by every attendee, begging me to share my secrets and how I developed my powers. But it doesn't happen, because we're attecked by some white planes that look more like disks. People say they are chinese planes but look more like spaceships. They drop some kind of bombs that bury in the ground and implode colapsing everything on top. The ground seems to dissolve in big pixels that and then dematerializes. People run in all directions and just nearby is the city limits. It also gets attacked and entire streets and the subway system collapses pixel by pixel, as if it is a simulated reality being deleted. I am getting tired of running and remember again that I can fly, so I shoot up and land in some other city area by the sea where people seem unaware of what is happening on the other part of town. I need to know where I am, so I pick up a map from some tourists and see a bunch of islands with Tenerife marked in one of them.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I get lucid while at some old building and I admire the intricate details of it and feel the textures of wood and other materials. I feel like this place is absolutely identical to some place I have been in RL, but in actual fact I don't recall any instance where I have been at this building, at least not in this life. I walk into a large balcony, don't know what to do next, so I just observe and think about it a bit more. Then I see a beautiful tree with pink flowers and I feel like making rain such beautiful flowers from the sky. But instead, I just make it rain, normal water. Then I float down to the open ground below and I get surrounded by people of different african tribes coming out of nowhere. They seem startled by something. At first I think it is of my powers, but then a couple white ladies erupt through the crowd and they come dragging a tiger which apparently is unconscious. That seems to be what was making everybody nervous. Unexpectedly, the tiger regains consciousness and everyone runs in panic. I run to the tree. Then I remember tigers can also climb trees. As I struggle to hop on the lowest tree branches, and not exactly suceeding, I feel the tiger behind me and that dreadful feeling that I am about to die. Then I remember I am just dreaming and I can do anything. So the tiger becomes a beautiful lady, completely naked and a bit feral, but harmless. She does climb the tree and I manage to join her in a flat area between tree branches which makes a very solid platform. I get aroused by her simple beauty. I touch her and she likes it. I kiss her and give her pleasure. Then she retributes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Meeting Nighthawk at some party at a friends' place. We end up alone in a room and when I am sure no one is coming and the ice isn't breaking, I approach him and decidedly show him my desire to kiss him. He resists, saying he can't or mustn't, but I insist. He clearly wants it to, but he claims that if he caves in, his desire will become violent and uncontrollable and it won't be possible to turn around. I say I don't care, so we start kissing and unzipping our pants and we... fuck. It is very detailed and graphic, like at some point we talk about how deep he is in and I say he could be more. So, NSFW content... Then some nosy kid enters the room accidentally and sees us. We ask him not to say a word to anyone and he swears he won't, but we know he is going right away to tell everyone and soon a bunch of people will barge in this room, so we quickly zip our pants back and we run out of the room to avoid that embarassment.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Blown by a strong wind, get KO and when I wake up I am in a parallell universe. I am with the same partner but all my pets are different: the cats are dogs, yet I recognize them all and I have quite a few more than the ones I know.

Kidnapped and forced to detonate a bomb. Several people caught in the same situation refused to do it and blew the bombs elsewhere, hurting their plans. I want to do something similar, but I also want to survive it. At the last minute the bad guys realize my plan, so they send me with a handler to control me. I still manage to find the right spot, where blowing the bomb won't harm others and I manage to jump and throw the bomb away, so it blows while I escape it. I watch the bad guy being projected and his head smashing against a wall. I am only hurt but people find me and care for me. They know what I did and they celebrate. I get acquainted with the locals and I meet some autistic kid that I become fond of. We become friends and he loves to hug me and I love covering him in kisses.

I encounter my uncle Filipe under the bridge in Alhandra. I throw a cup of nuts to his head and then try to hit him, but then he looks like my cousin João and I feel pity of him. He also looks scared and I tell him I want to forgive him. He burst into tears and we hug, but he still says he can't let go of my mom's betrayals, so I yell at him that he is insane and all my mom did was being a saint and done nothing but favors to him and her siblings by caring for their parents. He understands I am serious. Still he is not entirely sure I am saying the truth. I then leave to meet mom who is calling me on the phone, worried. But as we speak, I find myself in Vila Franca, looking for a bus to get back to Alhandra. The town is full of highschoolers and college kids all tanned in bathing suits and party clothes, but there is also a bunch of nerds dressed as Halloween characters. For some reason I end up fighting with the nerds with a bat while they brandish fake swords.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some place that looks like Monchique, where I am attending teachings. I meet some old friends, like Berna. One of these acquaintances sees me on a street when we're in the town centre and decides to be playful, so she invites me for a dance down the street. People find it funny and artistic. Then we all head to the tent where we have the teachings, and it is on top of the hill where the city ends and the forest starts. For some reason the tent is also very steep and people have to hold on to poles and other structures to stay in place. At some point people are grabbing each other and packed as sardines in a can, to be able to stay inside the tent. Amidst the chaos, my teacher emerges in the middle of the crowd to be right by my side. He holds my hand and kisses my cheek and whispers something to my ear, like he is so happy to see me again.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my mom's place and there is a big event going on. There are groups from several disciplines, from chemistry to politics. I am going around ensuring people have what they need. In the political group, there's this awful fascist guy who seems to have an interest in me. I hate him, but I am enjoying his attention and wondering how I can use it against him. I am picking up some of my personal documents from the dining room table by the window when the chemistry group barges in with lots of large posters and rolls of paper with formulas and in a frenzy about something urgent. I leave them be and I go around meeting other groups, when something bad in the chemistry group happens and some chemical or biological sample is released. It drives some people out of their minds and they start attacking others. Then it spreads and I realize it is a zombie attack. There is no escape from this full house, so I open the window behind me and use the rope from the shutters to rappel down the building. I enter through the window of some other house where apparently I have family or friends. They are just enjoying their rest and I tell them to gather food and prepare to leave because there is a zombie attack just starting. They don't believe me, so I go look outside and indeed many have already reached the streets and are climbing peoples' windows and balconies and going inside their houses. First we close all windows but one has some problem and I am unable to close it before having to fight off some zombies trying to come in. Finally we put some heavy furniture blocking it to gain some time and I tell the others that our best chance is to go up onto the attic and stay there with food and water for some time until the first wave attack is over. Some of them agree with me, some don't, and some girl starts making a lot of noise with her insistence in going out and I worry she'll attract more zombies. When we open the door to go upstairs we listen first if there is any agitation. There isn't, but then a couple ladies who don't look like zombies, attack us in a different way. They drop two ladybugs' bombs on us. Basically it's like two bombs full of ladybugs that release thousands of ladybug which immediately stick to our skin and orifices. I have my ears clogged. This is just a distraction, because soon after we start getting attacked by the zombies. Predicting this, I run to the kitchen to get a sharp knife and hand other knifes to the rest of the group. Then a couple zombies also bring knifes and try to get close to slash me. I fight them both and manage to stick the knife on the brain and neck of the first one. He makes some comment when he realizes I got him, like not believing I got him. The other one I think is his brother, so obviously he gets pissed. We fight and I win, but then I am overwhelmed by a constant flow of anime characters with katanas and other weapons and I don't understand why they are so intent on killing me. At some point I am fighting maybe ten at the same time but already managed to steal at least one katana from the arm I cut off of someone. On one hand the katana on the other still the kitchen knife. Then I start levitating to fight them in the air and only a couple of the have the same ability, greatly increasing my odds.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I meet Margot Robbie and a boyfriend of hers and we are spending some time together, fooling around. They take some new drug and are super chill, I feel like we might even get involved in a threesome based on their energy. But then they start going psychotic and insisting I also take the drug, which I don't want to. When I threathen to leave they become incredibly possessive, especially the guy, who starts chasing me with a needle to drug me by force. Margot is less psycho and realizes he is being too agressive, so she stops him. I then put away a box of needles and other sewing materials that I had been using for some craft and say calmly that I am leaving, while Margot kicks the guy down to calm him down.
Then I am sitting at some venue listening to Zilla and some other people in a round table. Zilla has a nip slip and I can tell that some lady by her side has a crush on her and is aroused by it. Zilla also notices and she kinda forcefully mentions she is a recent mom with her partner, just to cut any expectations on her side.
Then I am at my mom's, with some friends after the conference and for some reason Bill and Hillary Clinton are part of the guests. During the conference I was hurt by some idiot who lashed out on me. He came up with his conspiracy theories against the message of global unity and when I came to reason with him, he lashed out on me. I guess the Clinton's had appreciated my intervention and that's why we are hanging out. I am lying on the sofa and Hillary is really nice to me, treating me while I joke about her role in the conspiracies. But she's so down to earth, she laughs with me and I feel like we are becoming friends. Then I think to myself nobody is going to believe I am buddy with Hillary Clinton and that's when I realize that's because it's a damn dream. I become lucid and the dream becomes more vivid and stable and I notice that she doesn't fade like other DCs, she is actually more clear and defined in front of me. So I tell her we are dreaming and if she is a real person, I would like us to meet in waking life. I get up from the sofa, I stand face to face with her and tell her my name and my country of origin so that it is very clear. She then asks for my email, because that is more guaranteed she'll reach out to me. I say she might not be able to remember that, so she grabs pen and paper. I tell her she would not be able to carry it out of the dream and she says it iss just to try to remember it better by seeing it in written and confirming with me that it is spelled correctly. So I spell it out to her and she writes it down. She almost gets it correctly, except for one extra character. I try to correct her, but I wake up.

I'll let you know if I get an email from Hillary

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the secondary location of my old extra curricular activities center. It now seems to be working as a day care for younger children. At first I am waiting at some waiting room and notice the old furniture and apparently abandoned and despised trinkets I remember seeing there as a kid. I start picking some up from the floor and under a table, stuffing them in my pockets since here no one cares to preserve these. It's like tiny china figurines and sculpted wooden pieces. Then I am welcomed inside and I get to see that this place is overcrowded with kids. The kids are sitting on the floor, I almost can't walk around, I see no toys or games, they look bored and neglected. Most are kids of color. There's 3 or 4 carers who seem overwhelmed with the kids and even a bit too agressive towards them, I feel. I am worried about what I see. I then decide I will try to sell the antique trinkets and donate the money back to them. I exit through the front door - seems like I actually entered through the back one - and even find another carer with half a dozen more kids sitting on the floor of the hallway of the building. It's heartbreaking.

I am waking up from a dream, but become lucid and try hard to hold on. Get stuck in what seems like behind a frosted glass wall. To not lose lucidity, I focus on the texture of the frosted glass, so close to my face and don't try anything else. When I feel the lucidity is more stable, I also try to feel my real body in bed. I think I may have had a lucid false awakening, because I experimented raising my real hand and touch my face with it and I swear I felt it. I even put my fingers in my mouth. At least that's exactly what it felt like, although in the dream state I was basically formless in front of the frosted glass screen. When I really woke up, I was confused if I actually managed to move my hand by commanding it from inside the lucid dream or if I imagined it, but most likely I imagined it in a cross between an LD and a FA.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely João, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

On a hot air baloon with my boyfriend and another friend (not the same as in RL, I don't really know them). It crashes in the sea and we're rescued by sailors. They treat me ok, until the captain lusts for me and says he wants to possess me. My boyfriend does nothing and says nothing and I start loathing him. His friend also stays quiet, they just want to get out alive. I end up at home somehow with no recollection of all that happened in between.
At my old bedroom in my mom's house, trying to sleep. But the room is haunted! The furniture is moving to the middle of room, the drawers open by themselves. I go wake up my mom, she doesn't see anything, but she helps me put things in their place. Then she leaves and one of my dolls is possessed and starts making sounds. I gather my courage and confront the spirit and ask what they want. They say they want me. I dare them to appear. They do, they look androginous, sexy, remind me of Desire of the Endless, appearing both male and female. We have a long talk, they want me to sign a paper, I refuse. They say I'll be their sexual slave, wanting or not and they taunt me by describing what they'll do to me. I confess I start to feel a bit horny and decide to twist it and I seduce the demon instead. I expose my breasts and dare them to lick them. They do. I put aside my disgust when I see their long triangular shaped tongue and I get closer and kiss them. I caress their breasts too and then their dick, until I cause an erection and make them cum. I feel like I avoided the worst but then they say I'll be coming to live with them in some place underwater and show me it on a map. I say no. They laugh and say I have no choice as I am carrying their baby. I am confused. Then the captain who had rescued/kidnapped me before appears out of nowhere and they reveal he is an extension or avatar of the demon. They laugh and say they didn't need to impregnate me now because I am impregnated already. I say no way and I run to the bathroom. I know it is possible, I am trying to feel if I can feel it inside me growing. I want to abort, I also know they'll never allow it. I panic.