Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Walking up an alley of a park with a younger sister or cousin. On arriving at a terrace where there is a restaurant, we are cut off by barriers and cannot pass, because Ronaldo has booked it to have a private lunch there and no one can go throughit. I am upset and try to go around, but then he arrives by car and also blocks my way. I try to just ignore and move on, but something happens and he ends up also taking a walk in the park, almost side by side to us. As I reminisce to my companion about this place and some memories from my childhood, I notice he is listening and curious to know more. He asks me something about a street ahead and I suddenly remember stuff about it and drag him along in my revisitation of the place. I stayed there in a pension for some time and as I remember more details, I basically offer him a tour to this small town. He totally abandons his lunch plans and just joins us for good. Then we pass by a small place I mention has great veggie food, very basic but delicious and I invite him to have lunch there with us. He makes a bit of a snarky comment because of the veggie food, but then is really surprised to see that it is a very simple place with locals and not some fancy modern joint and I see curiosity won. I swear to him he will not forget about this place, either he likes the food or not, just because it is so authentic. By chance my dad is there with my aunt Ana and other people. They are waiting in line because there are no seats. I join them waiting in line and Ronaldo says we don't have to because of who he is, certainly they'll get us some table. Of course people recognize him when he enters and talk about it and some are very welcoming to him, but those that are sitting and eating with friends and family aren't bulging for him to get a seat and the fact is there really are no tables. What people do is they rearrange the tables so we have an area where we can sit on the floor if we want. I am ok with it, but he is not and so we just leave and continue our tour outside.
My dad reminded me that not only we spent some vacation on this town, but that we own an old house on this street. I am surprised and can't remember that at all, but he says it is that small property that appears mentioned on the IRS form and somehow it makes sense to me. He says it's just a couple blocks away, so I go look for it. Spot some folks building up a new house in the place where I thought was ours, can't figure out which one it is, so then we return and keep waiting for a table at the restaurant. By now Ronaldo is definitely feeling the hots for me and he grabs me by the waist and grabs my ass and pushes me against a wall, about to kiss me. But then my dad suddenly appears and ruins the moment. Ronaldo goes get some air for a minute and my dad comes talk to me. I guess he must be really proud that I am snatching such a rich famous guy and indeed he is, but also makes some comment about his manners and I have to agree that he is not exactly being a gentleman with me. I am not sure how I feel about it.

Walking by a boardwalk by the sea, recognizing some places. Seeing them with so much detail and thinking I don't wanna go there, because it is a place from another dream I had one day and nothing good came out of it. Then realize I am dreaming and it is a very stable lucid. The first thing that comes to my mind is to summon Avalokiteshvara. I really don't know why that was my first thought, but I did. Unfortunately, I immediately get surrounded by a pack of menacing growling dogs like dobbermans and rotweillers and I have to climb over a wall to protect myself. They keep jumping at me, viciously trying to attack me and I realize they are the protection mechanism or agents that always come if you try to liberate yourself, or meet those who can help you with that. I hadn't met them in a while. Then I remember that they have no power over me unless I give it to them, so I point the palm of my hands at them and slowly push them away with a kind of force field that makes me untouchable. One by one, the dogs step down and leave. I keep walking down the boardwalk while repeating mantras and continue to call for the deity. Don't see it anywhere but some lady approaches me offering me t-shirts. I say no and she insists that I follow her. I feel she is up to no good and accuse her of trying to distract me. After insisting a couple times, she walks away but I keep an eye on her as she walks towards the ocean and stays on the sand at the beach nearby. Wonder if she may be a manifeststion of the deity inviting me to come along and I rejected her, but I don't feel it. She passes by me again and leaves a box on the sand. Some girl says this is a gift to me but I am still suspicious of her intentions, so I don't touch it. The box opens by itself and contains gold statuettes of what initially also look like deities, so for a while I think this might be a sign. But as I look closer, the statuettes represent just common people in sex acts, like one lady going down on another and a threesome where someone is banging another from behind. Don't know what all of it means, but I think this is just Mara tempting me with distractions. Then I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with lots of people from many places. It's fancy but also in some desolate location in some ruins. I get tired and get out of there, to realize we're in an island. I ask someone what time is it and they say 2 am. I say that's not possible. They reply is the jet lag, that's why I am not sleepy. But that is not my issue, my issue is that outside it looks early morning, with sunlight. I encounter some familiar faces and they ask me if I am joining them leaving this place. I agree, because I know nobody else and don't know where I am. So they walk me to a dock and then some small row boats come and get us.
Then we're taking a trip by bus once on land again. Still not recognizing the place as the night falls. Then I recognize the sillouette of Las Vegas in the dark, despite all the city lights being turned off. I just recognize some of the iconic shapes in the dark, like the Sphinx and the Eiffel Tower replicas. When it is day again we stop at a large mall so we can eat or buy anything and stretch our legs. For some reason I encounter my father, who apparently was looking for me and traced me back here. His behavior immediately throws me off as he starts asking questions and making innuendos that I don't even understand. I ignore him for a while and I evade his questions, but allow him to follow me around as I look at the shops for fun. I am wearing a long skirt and a corset and he touches the strings on the back of my corset, asking what happens if he pulls the strings off. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable and tell him to stop. Then I look at beautifful dresses and he asks something like who I am going to wear them for. I say I don't even know what he is talking about. Then we pass by a section of lingerie, to which I don't even look at, but he starts asking if I like this item and that item, all very girly pieces with fruits stamped and not exactly for my age as if he is signaling he wants me to be his little girl again. I tell him he is sick and disgusting and I have had enough. He plays dumb. But I tell him I know his mind, I know he is sexually attracted to me and jealous that I grew up and might get a boyfriend (I say I still haven't had one, but if I did that was none of his business). He looks embarassed and doesn't deny it. I call him all the names I ever wanted to call him and move on, through a pastry shop and then a jewel shop. He still follows me and then tells me to wait while he goes check on the bus we have to take home. I do sit in a bench thinking about what to do next, but I have no intention to join him. Billie Eilish is playing on speakers and I start singing along, and so do other teens around who smile at me. Some even start doing a coreography and I am really impressed. Then some guy I know vaguely from school also sits on the bench and he is the one recognizing me first and asks me about what I am doing here. He offers me a ride with his friends that are coming. I accept but still I feel bad for leaving my dad alone, worrying he might get lost looking for me, despite all.
[Note: My dad was a bit of creep all my life and I do have reasons to feel some disgust and anger towards him, but some of the dreams I have been having are a bit too much, because I don't recall him actually abusing me or saying stuff like he says in my dreams. This is disturbing stuff.)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At an office with coworkers but during the weekend. Some team building thing, which includes a sleepover at the office. First day all goes smoothly and we do our meetings and activities normally. Then at night we party, and from thereon all descends into chaos and debauchery, with lots of booze and sex. Some guy passed out and others put him on the xerox machine with his pants down and are printing dozens of photocopies of his butt. Maybe someone drugged us, I wonder. Next day, when I start feeling sober, I notice there's security cameras all over and I panic, because I remember doing some sex stuff right under some of the cameras. I tell my colleagues about it and they don't care. Some claim the cameras must be turned off, but I go check a central console that provides info on the cameras and I confirm they are on. Unfortunately, for security reasons, the console does not give access to the recordings nor allows to shut it down, it is just informative stuff. I then think if the office is all clean and tidy, maybe nobody will feel curious to see the recordings. If someone does and finds out what happens, they might end up on the web on some porn website and it will be the end of me. So I start taking out the trash and tidying things up frantically, in an effort to hide whatever happened during the night. The others really don't care and are already waiting for their ubers and lyfts. I find a document briefcase that seems abandoned. Nobody claims it and it is indeed mostly empty except for a crumbled paper inside, some kind of dirt at the bottom and something sticky in a pocket. It looks old and dirty and certainly should go to the trash, but first I look into all its pockets and crevices, as I always tend to find something useful or important left behind. And there is indeed a small blue plastic box, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it up and also contains some crumbled small pieces of paper, but beneath it isa bunch of necklaces and earrings that look like gold, but I am not sure. Then Fernanda looks over and she says "Oh, that's gold alright, 35 karats." And I am like "How can you tell?" And she just smirks and I remember she is into fashion and all things luxury, so I trust her judgement. Others call me a lucky bastard and I put it away before they start getting ideas. There's a few thousand euros in gold right there.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation.

At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it. Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

People snapped and turned cannibals. I am barricated with Zilla and some other folks at a school, but we gotta move somewhere else. We know of some secure underground complex which has as entrance at the city park.
Strangely, downtown life seems to still be going very much as normal and we assume the madness hasn't spread here yet, but will. We even pass by some kids from another school playing football at their yard, oblivious. But we don't say a word to anyone. We reach the underground bunkers and there are plenty food reserves down there. We know that when the crisis is all over the place, eventually the government will come and use these bunkers, but we hope that if we're already there, they'll allow us to stay or else we'll fight to stay. The bunker spreads out into weird caves all over seven floors. On one floor there is a giant ballroom with black and white chess floor.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my grandmother's in Moita with my cousin Cris. I look through a window on the back and the garden outside is really green and lush but something awful is happening. Some black woman is on the ground trying to ressuscitate her baby girl who is lying inanimate on the grass. Then some man approaches and tries to help but the baby isn't responding. At first I don't feel like I can help and I just watch them doing CPR and hoping for the best. The baby wakes up and stabilizes for a while. They put her on a carrier and she soon passes out again and stops breathing. They do CPR again and again but the baby keeps stop breathing. I decide to jump outside and try to help. I examine the baby and I think I know what's up. I reanimate her and don't put her on the carrier, instead put her against my shoulder and walk around until she burps and barfs and expels a lot of bile that was continuously coming up and blocking her breath. She then stabilizes and I tell the mother the baby suffers from really bad reflux and needs to be checked out but will live if treated.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a large room with groups of people talking, making lots of noise, confusion. I can't handle it, so I leave. It's in some kind of hotel where I am staying. I know that NightHawk is also staying here. It is late night, but he has insomnia and is hanging around in the lobby. He sits over some bench and doesn't notice when I approach. I sit by his side and grab his hand. He is surprised and happy to see me. Asks why I am here, I tell him about whatever I was doing in the big room (some networking event or whatever) and I would, in the past, be able to enjoy the chaos and take notes about the dramas between the people and write stories about, but now I am just tired and overwhelmed and have to leave. We talk and we get cozy and we're both giggly and then we kiss. I am so hungry for him, I kiss him like a maniac. He complains I am not even taking a breath and therefore I am suffocating him too. I laugh. He says he needs to go the toilet. While I wait for him to come back, I am approached by my aunt's personal assistant and helpers. Apparently my aunt Ludovina is filthy rich. They ask me why I am here and say that my aunt is crazy worried looking for me and sent them to get me. She was throwing a party for me somewhere else, but when she found out I was at this hotel, she moved the party here. They tell me the party will be at a hotel floor they booked entirely for us. Then I watch an absurd parade of workers carrying lots of food and gifts into the hotel. Like, one person is pulling a cart full of exotic fruits, then three black men carry three canoes on their heads full of what seems to be fish and seafoood, plus a whole army of caterers with other yummi things. When NightHawk comes back, the parade is over, but I tell him what happened and that my aunt demands my presence, so I invite him to the party. On the party's floor, the first room actually looks sad and gloomy, with some family members and nothing much happening. I say I hope it gets better and they tell me to go explore the rest of the rooms. The next room is a prank/game and is full of fake cobwebs and an upside down piano. I don't know exactly what I should do, but seems like I need to get through the maze of cobwebs. Then I notice there is a real spider on top of the piano, not very big, but there are mirrors positioned in a way that makes it look gigantic. I still don't understand the game, but my family teases me by saying there will be a few more surprises and then there is the banquet awaiting us.

I am at a university, like studying there and a young Colin Farrel is visiting friends or whatever. I see him through the corner of my eye that he is talking to people sitting to my side on a long concrete structure that serves as a bench. Eventually he sits down right next to me and he accidentaly bumps into me. I look to the side and he says sorry and smiles. I smile back and he introduces himself as some unintelligible african name. I excuse him but I say I know he is Colin. He asks my name and I say it but he is having trouble understanding or he is playing with me and makes me say it many times and finally spell it out. We make a bit of small talk but eventually he turns to his friends demanding his attention. I drop some papers on the ground, a bit by accident, a bit on purpose and get on my knees to get to see if he helps. He does offer help but I already finished gathering the papers, so no luck. Then his freinds get up and invite him to go to a canteen for lunch. Not the normal one where I usually eat but a fancier one. We look at each other and smile again and he asks if I wanna join. I say sure. I pick my stuff up in a hurry and go after them, but then meet some of my friends on the way who distract me and I lose them. I still go there, because I know the place, but they are already sitting and eating and I need to get the food first. There are no more plates and I can't find anyone to help me with that. Some girl helps me out with the drink dispenser and somehow I get some alcoholic beverage spilled in my head accidentally. When I am grabbing some cutlery I get closer to them and I hear Colin tell his friend that he likes me and can't take his eyes of me, but that I am a bit too plain and he can do so much better. His friend tells him he is being an idiot and overestimating himself because besides being famous he is not that special either. I find it funny that is friend is so brutal. I keep having trouble joining them because there are no more seats available near them, but I hear their conversation a bit longer and his friend is encouraging him to ask me out on a date. And mentions some advice from their friend Lisa Gerrard about relationships. My mind then goes on a rush thinking I don't really wanna be Mrs. Farrel, I just would like to date him for fun as it would increase my "market value" but in my heart I am thinking of NightHawk.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I was having some kind of revelatory dream, something that was making me feel amazing and then I felt a strong burning and radiating pain on my left side of my stomach, as if stabbed by a knife. I woke up in agony with a pain I couldn't identify. I feared my spleen may have burst or something, but I grabbed a cold water bottle I had on my nightstand to put against my skin and it eased the pain after a couple minutes. I still don't know what happened.

I am outside my house, combing my hair after having had a shower, observing someone on the other hill. The person looks like my teacher but it is a woman. I feel sad and wish that he actually comes, then I look at the road leading to my house and I see him walking down the road followed by an Indian band playing music behind him. I smile and wait
to see what will happen. My teacher goes sit on a chair that's at the end of the path close to me without saying a word and just looks at the landscape. I ask him how did he find me and he says it was hard because my address leads nowhere. I explain my address is correct but does not yet appear on the maps. I realize the cardigan I am wearing is wide open and exposing my breasts, so I cover myself up embarassed, but he is totally unfazed. I say I knew he would find me anyway and that I had been waiting anxiously. Then we stretch our arms to hold each other's hands and as we touch hands I wake up feeling blissful.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

There is an alien invasion. The aliens are gigantic, measuring from 3 to 10+ meters. They aren't many, but each one is strong enough to destroy a ship or a tank and they also have some spaceships that go around shooting at people. I meet a random person on a subway, where people are taking cover and he says he has a secret shelter and invites a group of around 10 strangers to join him there, if we managed to reach it. We do reach it and we survive about 200 days there, with occasional incursions on the surface. One day, it seems someone decides to use nukes and there is a bright explosion not far from us and we die. Or so we think, but then we wake up back at the beginning of it all and we get again to the same shelter but with a couple new people. Once in the shelter I ask others if they remember that we are reliving this and they say yes, so then I explain it to the newcomers and say we probably have to figure out a way to stop the explosion so we don't keep coming back. But nothing happens exactly like the time before. For example, last time I naturally rose to the leadership position because I had good ideas. This time a bunch of them decided to elect a new leader and I realize they never liked me. But I am ok with it, I agree we need new ideas this time. Among the things that have changed in this timeline, is that some humans made an alliance with the aliens, so there is some level of normal existence at least for some. There is also a road near us that wasn't there before and a bunch of crazies straight out of Mad Max come race in this road with weird vehicles. The group decides to try to befriend them, I think it is dangerous and will expose us, so I stay away and ready to leave at the first alarming sign.

The earth is now invaded by a secondary type of nocturnal aliens and they hunt humans specifically when night falls. Whenever they are close and getting ready to hunt, they emit a sign, like a shine in the sky with a shape of a four legged predator. I am now staying with my parents at mom's apartment on the 4th floor. It's kinda safe if we shut down all windows and shutters and stay silent all night. But my dad is out and about with some other dude preparing some ground level house with glass doors for some experiment. We go there and try to discourage him and say that whatever it is it won't work, but they are really convinced they can make some kind of trap for the aliens. To calm down my mom, I tell her we already died and came back and we are probably going to die again at any moment, so why not use this opportunity to actually learn more about the aliens and try to defeat them. I then spot black smoke coming out from our chimney and ask mom if she left something on the stove. She isn't sure. We wish good luck to my dad and his friend and we run back home, afraid we accidentally started a fire. Fortunately it was just some soup my mom forgot on the stove that burned up. I shut that down and turn to other domestic preparations for the night, like taking our clothes that are hanging outside. Unfortunately my cats are all sneaking out through the window and jumping down to the ground below for some reason. I don't freak out as usually I do, because they've done this so many times in dreams, I now have confidence they won't get hurt. My concern is when they try to come back, usually by climbing up the balconies below and try to enter through the window that we have to keep closed. They aren't at risk from the aliens but they will put us at risk if they start making noise outside. So my mom goes out and says she'll catch them, but I am worried because it is getting dark fast.

In Czech Republic with Zilla and other friends, revisiting Lednice. We are leaving the Inn we're lodged at and we want to walk to the castle as I did last time I came. I suggest we walk through the woods, but my friends spot what seems to be a cable car and suggest we try it instead. They go straight to the entrance but I say we need to buy tickets at the booth first. They ignore me, so I go and buy tickets. When I reach my friends, some girls pass in front of us and argue they reached there first. We disagree and we keep fighting to get in the front, but meanwhile a long line forms behind us. Then we realize it's not a cable car but some aquatic tobogan tubes kind of thing and there are actually 4 departure points, so we can go into one, the other girls in another and other people on the remaining ones. I suddenly don't wanna go, because I see it is apparently a bit of a rough ride. But my friends insist. They take their seats in the tobogan thing but there isn't space for us all, so someone attaches like a buoy to the main boat for me and some male friend. It hardly carries one person, let alone two. Also, it doesn't look safe at all, but they keep saying it will be fun.
Then somehow we're at the castle already. It looks bigger and more beautiful than what I recall. We enter it and there is a really lively environment inside. People are dressed in modern day clothing but kind of reliving medieval times. There is a tavern inside the castle and tables all along for people to sit. Not what I expected to find. I am intent on going down the catacombs where I saw a dragon robot last time, but it is again closed for visitors. It is blocked by a board announcing the menu of the tavern. My friends offer to go check it out by sneaking behind the board. I beg them not to. I stay on the look out and then I mess up by bumping into the board and making it fall down with a lot of noise that attracts everyone's attention. As I try to put it back up, I see my friends returning and taking a peek to see if the path is clear, but then an employee comes to help with the board and they hide again. After some attempts and it keeps on falling, she gives up and lays it against the wall. Meaning my friends are now exposed when they come out and everyone is still looking at me. So I go for a walk around the place trying to divert attentions to me and away from them.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Sleeping in my bedroom with a friend who's staying over. We're at my old parents house, in my parent's bed, because it's bigger for the two of us. My mom is sleeping in the couch or not at all. Then I wake up very early morning and my dad is laying behind me, I have no panties and he is penetrating my anus. I feel totally disgusted and get up in a jolt and punch him, saying that it was the last drop. My friend wakes up spooked. I make a scene dropping all my anger on him and saying I am no longer treating him as my dad and that I lost the last ounce of respect I had for him. I go to the bathroom to wash myself. Meanwhile my mom heard some noise and woke up and came to see what's up. I hide in the bathroom and don't want to tell her. My friend doesn't know what to say and my father comes up with some excuse. Anyway, the dawn comes, so I pretend I just woke up early and I am preparing for school normally. After I get dressed, I go to the kitchen to have some breakfast and through the open window enters a raven. At first I try not to scare it away but then he makes sounds as if he wants some help, so I grab some food and approach to see if he wants. Then I notice he has a broken jaw and a broken beak and looks awfully thin. Was probably hit by a car and is in pain. I pick him up and take him to my bedrooms' balcony. I look for some box to put him in but all I find is some pillow. I drop him on it and tell him I will be back soon to care for him. I think about calling the wildlife protection services when I cross paths with my mom in the hallway and she is with three male and a couple female brazilian teens from her evangelical church (when she attended church). The guys come from the bathroom where they were washing hands and the girls have a tiny kitten in their hands and they are all saying they adopted him and she begs them not to abandon him when he grows up. They seem a bit overwhelmed with the long term commitment. I see my dad again coming out of the kitchen and wanting to make amends with me and I yell that I'll never allow him to touch me again and he may stop expecting us to have any sort of relationship. My mom hears this and she doesn't understand what's going on. Thinks I am being harsh with him and makes a sympathethic look towards him. I still don't wanna tell her what happened, just say this is how it's going to be from now on.
[Note: my dad was always a bit of a creep, but I have no conscious memory of him abusing/raping me, despite my dreams about it]

I'm watching Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid movie. At the end, when I think they died I get the message that they actually never die and that there are multiple films after this one in which they always come back miraculously from their apparent death at the end of every film. I am surprised and happy to know it. The I am actually the lady who is their lover in the film and I am at home waiting for them. I casually tidy up the house which has some active fires from some small explosions that took place earlier in the movie and then I start putting food in a fridge. When they return, I scold them but I really feeling happy that they are alive.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my paternal grandma's house, fighting with the front door that I think is locked but at the minimum touch just falls out of place. My aunt Ana comes by, very distressed and says I should try again to close it, but only after she goes outside for a bit. She goes outside and warns me about my cousin Cris who is apparently causing mayhem inside, with threats to her parents and whatnot. Then some shadowy figure passes by me and I think it's her, but it is actually Duarte. He doesn't even say hi to me, just seems to want to avoid our family altogether and also heads outside in the semi darkness of dusk, to stand alone and quiet. Then my uncle is in the kitchen, quietly avoiding talking about it when Cris erupts from inside the house and heads outside to lash out on my aunt. I try to rationalize what is going on and say to myself they just need to talk. Then I go to the living room to meet my mom. The corridor light is off and the living room is also in total darkness. I feel goosebumps because of the ghost at the end of the corridor, but knowing my mom is in there calms me down. I enter the room touching around blindly, and hear my grandma's voice. She is clearly hallucinating, talking about some past job and arguing that she can do some task. I am not sure if I should tell her the truth or play along, then my mom suggests that I should pretend, so I sit down on the floor besides the sofa where she is laying down and I put a hand on her body, and play along with her story, making up replies to whatever she says.

I'm in a world where people of different tribes are ruled by fear of some thugs who took control. Every month or so they select one tribe and ask them to offer a bunch of people to sacrifice. From that group they usually only kill two, but it depends. If people volunteer, then maybe they don't pick others. This time is my tribe's turn and I am part of the group who volunteered to go. I have managed to convince them to actually start an uprise. All of us are willing to die for it, but we want to succeed, so we contact the leaders of other tribes before going. We don't manage to get even one to join us, but I am convinced they will if we start something and show them we can win. When we're there, we're almost caught conspiring but we manage to pretend we're just preparing for our sacrifice. The guy who almost caught us, has a huge crush on me and I know he will not let me be chosen, but he hints that in exchange he will probably be able to keep me as a slave for himself. I wonder how I can use that to our advantage on the day of our revolt, but it isn't clear. For now, it allows me to get closer to him and he takes me to see the location and stage of the sacrifice event, so I use the chance to study details that might be useful. One thing I notice is that a big storm is coming and might wreak havoc the next day, helping us. On the day of the sacrifice, our leader decides to offer himself and he leads the way. Then he kills the guards and starts the fight. The storm had happened at night and left damages in a dam nearby. So we sent someone to blow it up and it breaks apart. The water floods the district where the dominant tribe lives, killing and scattering them. These images are broadcasted to everyone else who then joins us in the fight. We win at the end.

With my mom attending some conference in a big tent in some exotic place. People from all over the world and it is all in english. I ask if she understands what is being said, and she says it's ok, but I can see she is making a big effort to follow. It is supposed to be about facing climate change and adapting as a society but soon I recognize the speakers and realize it will be a bunch of disinformation and new age BS about changing consciousness and moving to other dimensions. I tell her that, but I think she knows and doesn't care. I cope with the first session, but at the break, I go outside to breathe deep and I am amused at the kind of people who are there. There is a group sitting on top of a wall focusing down on a rock trying to make it levitate. Just for fun I tell them "try me" and then I start levitating. Unlike what happens in other dreams, they actually gasp and are shocked. They immediately know it wasn't their powers that did it, so it could only be my own. Soon I am surrounded by every attendee, begging me to share my secrets and how I developed my powers. But it doesn't happen, because we're attecked by some white planes that look more like disks. People say they are chinese planes but look more like spaceships. They drop some kind of bombs that bury in the ground and implode colapsing everything on top. The ground seems to dissolve in big pixels that and then dematerializes. People run in all directions and just nearby is the city limits. It also gets attacked and entire streets and the subway system collapses pixel by pixel, as if it is a simulated reality being deleted. I am getting tired of running and remember again that I can fly, so I shoot up and land in some other city area by the sea where people seem unaware of what is happening on the other part of town. I need to know where I am, so I pick up a map from some tourists and see a bunch of islands with Tenerife marked in one of them.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I get lucid while at some old building and I admire the intricate details of it and feel the textures of wood and other materials. I feel like this place is absolutely identical to some place I have been in RL, but in actual fact I don't recall any instance where I have been at this building, at least not in this life. I walk into a large balcony, don't know what to do next, so I just observe and think about it a bit more. Then I see a beautiful tree with pink flowers and I feel like making rain such beautiful flowers from the sky. But instead, I just make it rain, normal water. Then I float down to the open ground below and I get surrounded by people of different african tribes coming out of nowhere. They seem startled by something. At first I think it is of my powers, but then a couple white ladies erupt through the crowd and they come dragging a tiger which apparently is unconscious. That seems to be what was making everybody nervous. Unexpectedly, the tiger regains consciousness and everyone runs in panic. I run to the tree. Then I remember tigers can also climb trees. As I struggle to hop on the lowest tree branches, and not exactly suceeding, I feel the tiger behind me and that dreadful feeling that I am about to die. Then I remember I am just dreaming and I can do anything. So the tiger becomes a beautiful lady, completely naked and a bit feral, but harmless. She does climb the tree and I manage to join her in a flat area between tree branches which makes a very solid platform. I get aroused by her simple beauty. I touch her and she likes it. I kiss her and give her pleasure. Then she retributes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Meeting Nighthawk at some party at a friends' place. We end up alone in a room and when I am sure no one is coming and the ice isn't breaking, I approach him and decidedly show him my desire to kiss him. He resists, saying he can't or mustn't, but I insist. He clearly wants it to, but he claims that if he caves in, his desire will become violent and uncontrollable and it won't be possible to turn around. I say I don't care, so we start kissing and unzipping our pants and we... fuck. It is very detailed and graphic, like at some point we talk about how deep he is in and I say he could be more. So, NSFW content... Then some nosy kid enters the room accidentally and sees us. We ask him not to say a word to anyone and he swears he won't, but we know he is going right away to tell everyone and soon a bunch of people will barge in this room, so we quickly zip our pants back and we run out of the room to avoid that embarassment.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Blown by a strong wind, get KO and when I wake up I am in a parallell universe. I am with the same partner but all my pets are different: the cats are dogs, yet I recognize them all and I have quite a few more than the ones I know.

Kidnapped and forced to detonate a bomb. Several people caught in the same situation refused to do it and blew the bombs elsewhere, hurting their plans. I want to do something similar, but I also want to survive it. At the last minute the bad guys realize my plan, so they send me with a handler to control me. I still manage to find the right spot, where blowing the bomb won't harm others and I manage to jump and throw the bomb away, so it blows while I escape it. I watch the bad guy being projected and his head smashing against a wall. I am only hurt but people find me and care for me. They know what I did and they celebrate. I get acquainted with the locals and I meet some autistic kid that I become fond of. We become friends and he loves to hug me and I love covering him in kisses.

I encounter my uncle Filipe under the bridge in Alhandra. I throw a cup of nuts to his head and then try to hit him, but then he looks like my cousin João and I feel pity of him. He also looks scared and I tell him I want to forgive him. He burst into tears and we hug, but he still says he can't let go of my mom's betrayals, so I yell at him that he is insane and all my mom did was being a saint and done nothing but favors to him and her siblings by caring for their parents. He understands I am serious. Still he is not entirely sure I am saying the truth. I then leave to meet mom who is calling me on the phone, worried. But as we speak, I find myself in Vila Franca, looking for a bus to get back to Alhandra. The town is full of highschoolers and college kids all tanned in bathing suits and party clothes, but there is also a bunch of nerds dressed as Halloween characters. For some reason I end up fighting with the nerds with a bat while they brandish fake swords.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some place that looks like Monchique, where I am attending teachings. I meet some old friends, like Berna. One of these acquaintances sees me on a street when we're in the town centre and decides to be playful, so she invites me for a dance down the street. People find it funny and artistic. Then we all head to the tent where we have the teachings, and it is on top of the hill where the city ends and the forest starts. For some reason the tent is also very steep and people have to hold on to poles and other structures to stay in place. At some point people are grabbing each other and packed as sardines in a can, to be able to stay inside the tent. Amidst the chaos, my teacher emerges in the middle of the crowd to be right by my side. He holds my hand and kisses my cheek and whispers something to my ear, like he is so happy to see me again.