Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my mom's place and there is a big event going on. There are groups from several disciplines, from chemistry to politics. I am going around ensuring people have what they need. In the political group, there's this awful fascist guy who seems to have an interest in me. I hate him, but I am enjoying his attention and wondering how I can use it against him. I am picking up some of my personal documents from the dining room table by the window when the chemistry group barges in with lots of large posters and rolls of paper with formulas and in a frenzy about something urgent. I leave them be and I go around meeting other groups, when something bad in the chemistry group happens and some chemical or biological sample is released. It drives some people out of their minds and they start attacking others. Then it spreads and I realize it is a zombie attack. There is no escape from this full house, so I open the window behind me and use the rope from the shutters to rappel down the building. I enter through the window of some other house where apparently I have family or friends. They are just enjoying their rest and I tell them to gather food and prepare to leave because there is a zombie attack just starting. They don't believe me, so I go look outside and indeed many have already reached the streets and are climbing peoples' windows and balconies and going inside their houses. First we close all windows but one has some problem and I am unable to close it before having to fight off some zombies trying to come in. Finally we put some heavy furniture blocking it to gain some time and I tell the others that our best chance is to go up onto the attic and stay there with food and water for some time until the first wave attack is over. Some of them agree with me, some don't, and some girl starts making a lot of noise with her insistence in going out and I worry she'll attract more zombies. When we open the door to go upstairs we listen first if there is any agitation. There isn't, but then a couple ladies who don't look like zombies, attack us in a different way. They drop two ladybugs' bombs on us. Basically it's like two bombs full of ladybugs that release thousands of ladybug which immediately stick to our skin and orifices. I have my ears clogged. This is just a distraction, because soon after we start getting attacked by the zombies. Predicting this, I run to the kitchen to get a sharp knife and hand other knifes to the rest of the group. Then a couple zombies also bring knifes and try to get close to slash me. I fight them both and manage to stick the knife on the brain and neck of the first one. He makes some comment when he realizes I got him, like not believing I got him. The other one I think is his brother, so obviously he gets pissed. We fight and I win, but then I am overwhelmed by a constant flow of anime characters with katanas and other weapons and I don't understand why they are so intent on killing me. At some point I am fighting maybe ten at the same time but already managed to steal at least one katana from the arm I cut off of someone. On one hand the katana on the other still the kitchen knife. Then I start levitating to fight them in the air and only a couple of the have the same ability, greatly increasing my odds.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I meet Margot Robbie and a boyfriend of hers and we are spending some time together, fooling around. They take some new drug and are super chill, I feel like we might even get involved in a threesome based on their energy. But then they start going psychotic and insisting I also take the drug, which I don't want to. When I threathen to leave they become incredibly possessive, especially the guy, who starts chasing me with a needle to drug me by force. Margot is less psycho and realizes he is being too agressive, so she stops him. I then put away a box of needles and other sewing materials that I had been using for some craft and say calmly that I am leaving, while Margot kicks the guy down to calm him down.
Then I am sitting at some venue listening to Zilla and some other people in a round table. Zilla has a nip slip and I can tell that some lady by her side has a crush on her and is aroused by it. Zilla also notices and she kinda forcefully mentions she is a recent mom with her partner, just to cut any expectations on her side.
Then I am at my mom's, with some friends after the conference and for some reason Bill and Hillary Clinton are part of the guests. During the conference I was hurt by some idiot who lashed out on me. He came up with his conspiracy theories against the message of global unity and when I came to reason with him, he lashed out on me. I guess the Clinton's had appreciated my intervention and that's why we are hanging out. I am lying on the sofa and Hillary is really nice to me, treating me while I joke about her role in the conspiracies. But she's so down to earth, she laughs with me and I feel like we are becoming friends. Then I think to myself nobody is going to believe I am buddy with Hillary Clinton and that's when I realize that's because it's a damn dream. I become lucid and the dream becomes more vivid and stable and I notice that she doesn't fade like other DCs, she is actually more clear and defined in front of me. So I tell her we are dreaming and if she is a real person, I would like us to meet in waking life. I get up from the sofa, I stand face to face with her and tell her my name and my country of origin so that it is very clear. She then asks for my email, because that is more guaranteed she'll reach out to me. I say she might not be able to remember that, so she grabs pen and paper. I tell her she would not be able to carry it out of the dream and she says it iss just to try to remember it better by seeing it in written and confirming with me that it is spelled correctly. So I spell it out to her and she writes it down. She almost gets it correctly, except for one extra character. I try to correct her, but I wake up.

I'll let you know if I get an email from Hillary

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the secondary location of my old extra curricular activities center. It now seems to be working as a day care for younger children. At first I am waiting at some waiting room and notice the old furniture and apparently abandoned and despised trinkets I remember seeing there as a kid. I start picking some up from the floor and under a table, stuffing them in my pockets since here no one cares to preserve these. It's like tiny china figurines and sculpted wooden pieces. Then I am welcomed inside and I get to see that this place is overcrowded with kids. The kids are sitting on the floor, I almost can't walk around, I see no toys or games, they look bored and neglected. Most are kids of color. There's 3 or 4 carers who seem overwhelmed with the kids and even a bit too agressive towards them, I feel. I am worried about what I see. I then decide I will try to sell the antique trinkets and donate the money back to them. I exit through the front door - seems like I actually entered through the back one - and even find another carer with half a dozen more kids sitting on the floor of the hallway of the building. It's heartbreaking.

I am waking up from a dream, but become lucid and try hard to hold on. Get stuck in what seems like behind a frosted glass wall. To not lose lucidity, I focus on the texture of the frosted glass, so close to my face and don't try anything else. When I feel the lucidity is more stable, I also try to feel my real body in bed. I think I may have had a lucid false awakening, because I experimented raising my real hand and touch my face with it and I swear I felt it. I even put my fingers in my mouth. At least that's exactly what it felt like, although in the dream state I was basically formless in front of the frosted glass screen. When I really woke up, I was confused if I actually managed to move my hand by commanding it from inside the lucid dream or if I imagined it, but most likely I imagined it in a cross between an LD and a FA.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely João, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

On a hot air baloon with my boyfriend and another friend (not the same as in RL, I don't really know them). It crashes in the sea and we're rescued by sailors. They treat me ok, until the captain lusts for me and says he wants to possess me. My boyfriend does nothing and says nothing and I start loathing him. His friend also stays quiet, they just want to get out alive. I end up at home somehow with no recollection of all that happened in between.
At my old bedroom in my mom's house, trying to sleep. But the room is haunted! The furniture is moving to the middle of room, the drawers open by themselves. I go wake up my mom, she doesn't see anything, but she helps me put things in their place. Then she leaves and one of my dolls is possessed and starts making sounds. I gather my courage and confront the spirit and ask what they want. They say they want me. I dare them to appear. They do, they look androginous, sexy, remind me of Desire of the Endless, appearing both male and female. We have a long talk, they want me to sign a paper, I refuse. They say I'll be their sexual slave, wanting or not and they taunt me by describing what they'll do to me. I confess I start to feel a bit horny and decide to twist it and I seduce the demon instead. I expose my breasts and dare them to lick them. They do. I put aside my disgust when I see their long triangular shaped tongue and I get closer and kiss them. I caress their breasts too and then their dick, until I cause an erection and make them cum. I feel like I avoided the worst but then they say I'll be coming to live with them in some place underwater and show me it on a map. I say no. They laugh and say I have no choice as I am carrying their baby. I am confused. Then the captain who had rescued/kidnapped me before appears out of nowhere and they reveal he is an extension or avatar of the demon. They laugh and say they didn't need to impregnate me now because I am impregnated already. I say no way and I run to the bathroom. I know it is possible, I am trying to feel if I can feel it inside me growing. I want to abort, I also know they'll never allow it. I panic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some kind of seminar, tables are set around the room forming a square and people are sitting against the wall. I spot a spider the size of my hand going under the chair of a lady nearby and then climbing up the wall behing her. I warn her, she sees it and screams her lungs out. Then some practical joker on her side grabs the spider and threathens to throw it her at any of us. I freak out and try to run away, but all the people sitting block my passage. He is on other side of the table (inside the square) so he approaches me with the spider on his hand and throws it at me. He misses me, but the spider clings to the wall beside me. Then the dresam shifts and I am in my bed, supposedly in my room at my mom's house, but the spider is also in here. It got cozy in a corner of the wall near the ceiling and made a web there. I watch in horror as some really big animal gets stuck in it and she is about to kill it. The animal is a rat and right away another rat comes into the web and together they kill the spider. Then I freak out that I have two rats in my room. They look at me and they don't seem afraid. Actually, one of them seems to like me. They come down and jump into my bed. I am not afraid of them either since they seem to be nice, only of the flees and ticks they might have. They seem to be some kind of hybrid between a ferret and a rat, they are huge and have dark stripes over a brown fur and the female has a red fluffly tail. She just lays down purring and asking for pets, so I pet her. She is a sweet, but her partner is more shy. I let him know it is okay to come over, but the female rat actually keeps him at bay, showing who's the boss. Then a dog comes in the room, it feels like he is my dog Hachi, but he looks like a white fluffy samoiedo instead. I am afraid that he'll want to kill my new friends, but instead he lays by the side of the female rat and she jumps on his back and all is well. I am amazed. I get up and try to turn the ceiling lights on but there is something wrong with the switch and I can't figure out what it is (dream sign missed). Anyway, I go to the kitchen and put some stuff in the oven to cook.
Meamwhile Riverstone and Nighthawk arrive and I say I am cooking pizzas and other stuff but I take a break to join them sitting to talk. I notice Nighthawk is feeling really awkward and doesn't even look at me, but after a while we get cozy under a blanket on the sofa and somehow I end up half naked hugging him. We have more people coming over and I suppose Riverstone is entertaining them in some other room, because we only hear their voices, but we don't want them storming in, so I grab Nighthawk and drag him to an empty room, push him against the wall and we kiss. We slowly slide down to the floor, we make out, but then people come in. I quickly sneak out through another door, hiding, since I am kinda naked, but he is not and he welcomes them as if nothing happened. I magically get clothed again and recall that I left stuff in the oven. The house is now some big place like a central train station. I have to walk a long walk to get to the kitchen. When I get there, it exploded and I feel despaired that it was my fault as I left the stuff in the oven burn and somehow caused a fire which caused the explosion. Then from the blaze comes a guy that I know in the dream has a crush on me - he looks like Raita for some reason. Due to the explosion he mutated and is now is 10 mt tall and has a belt with living people attached all around, from whom he sucks their vital force. When he sees me he says "now you'll be mine!" and he chases me down as I run through other people in the large main hall of this building. I try to head to some elevators but they are all busy, so then I go up a spiral staircase that is full of women going up. They all start to run up the stairs with me when they see the monster chasing me. They help me by letting me pass to the front and reach the top first. At the top there is a door with a bunch of locks and knobs and for a second we panic but some ladies come to the front saying they have the one key that unlocks it all. It is a race against time as the monster approaches, but they manage to open it. Behind the door is a platform looking over what seems like a zoo enclosure with lots of different animal species coexisting. Unfortunately not all of them are safe and peaceful. We close the door behind us and we get rid of the monster, but now we spot some wild boars and when we try to come down, they charge, not letting us go across the enclosure. There is an access to a lake which gives access to an area of empty land with a door to some other building. We plan to go that way but I fear there might be dangerous animals in the water too. Some of the ladies take a chance and jump, but soon enough there is a huge crocodile coming their way. I spot the sillhouette under the water and warn them to get out. They get out really at the last second. Then we are hopelessly stuck. Then I remember to call Superman. Nobody knows, but I know him and we've had an affair. It's guaranteed that he'll come if I call for him, so I start yelling "Superman, I am in danger, please come!" I expect to see him right away but he doesn't come. I call two times, three times and he is not coming. Then someone points to the skyline and nearby behind some skyscrapers, there is a battle of titans going on, but it's not Superman, it's a giant Spiderman fighting my giant stalker from before. As I call Superman one last time, Spiderman removes his mask and throws it at me. It's enormous so it covers me like a blanket. Everybody is asking why did he do it and I am worried people will see his face and get to know his identity. I see his face and I am confused as the guy under the mask is Axman. Sure, he is also in love with me, but I didn't know he was also a superhero.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Watching some show like "60 Minutes" about a reporter quest to find some hacker. The reporter shows a map of Australia and the different locations the police thought the hacker was at and how she found him for real. Then I am down there in Australia, in some small town away from everything. The other nearest town is 5 hours away and I realize that most people around here never gets very far away from their location because you need to travel by plane to get anywhere in a decent time frame. I suddenly also realize I am in the middle of nowhere and I remember my babies are at home, so far away and I feel so sad and miss them. I feel like I will be away for some time. I walk through the town, cross a crosswalk and see lots of people going in the same direction, then a bunch of uniformed police coming from the opposite direction. But I go to where the police are coming from and they join the rest of the crowd and head to my left down another street. Where I go is some comercial area. I enter a mall looking for a food court. I find some place that looks like a self-service buffet with lots of people in a line and by chance I encounter Zilla. I check the food on display and it is mostly yummy cakes but I want some main dishes. I ask Zilla if there is something veggie and she immediately grabs some fried tofu that is the last available and some other customers before me also wanted to eat. She gets away with it but everybody thinks bad of her and starts trashing her. So she asks me if I want to join her in going somewhere else. I agree and she takes me outside the mall into a back alley. Points to what seems like a private home, but with one single table with two seats outside the door on the sidewalk. We sit and wait to be attended, but I feel awkward with how bizarre this is. Some lady on a window above us is hanging a bedsheet to dry over our heads and I say "What if she was dusting a carpet?" She hears and replies that she could and she wouldn't care. But Zilla seems totally relaxed about all this. She then sees some family playing with their kids in a terrace on the other side of the road and because she is a mom now, she can't help it but to go talk to them about their kids. I notice the kids amazing eyes but I don't care engaging with them.

Meet Tova and come to visit her new house in Portugal. Crazy decoration with water tanks along the walls going from room to room, cascading at some points, with fish and plants in some locations. It looks gorgeous but then in one room the tanks are overflowing and ruining the furniture and the floor. I tell her to reduce the volume of the water to stop it overflowing and she says that's the plan but she isn't so happy about it because they wanted to create an effect like infinity pools if only the water kept still. I sit down at some sofa with other guests and there is a famous football player, some actors and some of these VIPs want to know who I am. We have some fun conversation where I explain I am nobody, and I am feeling totally comfortable among them.

I get lost in some backdoors, leading to service corridors and rooms and end up at the entrance of a kitchen. I look through the window on the door and spot an hispanic lady alone in there and some other door on the opposite side also with a window, through which I spot some nasty looking guys. I sneak in quietlly and I ask her if she seen those guys and knows them. She says no and she also finds them fishy. We then sense that something violent is going on out there, so we try to barricade the door. After failed attempts, she suggests we just leave. I get lost from her in the corridors and find some door to the exterior, ending up alone at night in the middle of what seems a parking lot in the back. I then become lucid and feel like levitating up into the clouds which are extremely low in the night sky. Then I feel like trying the taste of the clouds and they feel like cotton candy but without any flavour. So then I think about different flavours like mango, strawberry, caramel and I imagine the cotton candy clouds tasting like those. It works and I have a lot of fun savoring the clouds. Then the clouds start raining sweet syrup all over me and I feel strangely like removing my clothes. I bathe in the sweet nectar and start feeling a bit horny. So I play a bit with myself. Meanwhile I feel like I should stop it and actually do something more useful with my lucidity, but I wake up.

With mom, on the street. It's dusk and some really ugly clouds are forming in the distance. I spot a saucer shaped UFO with 3 lights and I warn her about it. Turns out, when it gets closer, it is actually some weird weather drone analyzing the incoming storm. We then spot a tornado and try to find shelter. There is only a gas station which doesn't seem to offer much shelter, but luckily it has an underground level, although with an open top. We go around looking for extra shelter but we just see people laying low and near the walls as there seems to be no better shelter. Yet there is actually a small corner room that has a wall and ceiling and offers more protection. I go inside and there is maybe 3 or 4 other people who are ok with us joining them. But since no one else is coming inside, I suggest we barricade the open door with something for us to be safer. They agree, but then some kids ask to come in and I let them, then Alex appears out of nowhere and I also let him, but then no one else and we block the entrance. Then when the storm hits, the people outside seem to finally start to feel afraid and also want to come inside but now we don't want to let anyone else come in, so they start vandalizing our barricade and a fights starts over them wanting to come in an us trying to keep ourselves safe.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

There is some stormy weather and can't close my living room window. I keep grabbing my cats to keep them inside while I try to fix it and they seem intent on getting out. Then my house is taken over by some bad people. They want something and I keep pretending I don't know anything about it. Eventually I grab the thing they want from my office and while they are distracted elsewhere and the lights go off because of the storm, I sneak out to the kitchen and leave through the back door. Luckily my dog Hachi is quietly asleep and doesn't make a sound. I hope to get back for my animals soon, but so far I must leave. The bad guys eventually notice I escaped and turn on some floodlights outside trying to spot me. But there is someone else just arriving and getting in the way of the ligths and I take advantage and run through the fields. Much much later I encounter a group of friends and I think I am safe. Except don't seem happy to see me and proceed to hide under some tarps in some construction site. I join them there to find out what's up.

Something about an expedition and a UFO.

Shopping with my familty for some crazy but beautiful clothes. I literally get lost in it as my family leaves me there. I decide to check the second floor of the shop, which I never visited. First part is lingerie but then all sorts of antiques for decor. I am amazed with what I find there. Then some crazy obsessed guy is melting down because he collects something and they no longer have new items for him to buy. My first reaction is to think bad of this guy, but then I realiz he has a serious mental condition and he is not guilty of it, so I feel compassion instead. Then decide to take some pics of some items and of the shop itself. Some cute guy seems happy that I find and expose a wooden piece that was hidden under other pieces and he calls his mom to come and see it and asks my help to set it up straight. I do, but the wood starts breaking apart since it's so old. We decide to put it back. He still considers buying it to restore it, it but every time we touch it, it breaks more. Then he flirts with me and I think he wants to go on a date, but I don't. Then I encounter Sevi and she is glad to see me. Actually too glad to see me, considering she's been mad at me for years. We hug and we talk and the other dude disappears. Then she gets a bit too warm and she whispers in my ear she'd like to invite me to go with her to an hotel nearby and I immediately say no and that she got me all wrong.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting an asylum in a castle during the victorian era. I accidentally step into the dungeons and encounter some weird looking bald grey skin people who surround me and say mysterious things like I am the chosen one. I just run away to daylight, feeling very uncomfortable. I am a rich young attractive man, looking very much like Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula. The ladies all look at me drooling, but I am very chaste and not actually interested. I am also very weirded out by what just happened. Then some tall bulky bald man, also with a weird pale skin and a tall hat stares at me as he walks past me. I hear him in my head whispering something like "soon" and "you have been chosen" and I see visions of myself in a near future as a vampire. I actually feel seducted with the idea.
I still try not to be followed by this guy as the night falls. There is some nocturnal parade and many policemen on the streets and I am kinda forced to enter a park and end up by a lake that is restricted access. Some policemen see me and tell me to get out. So I see myself again in the parade area and stuck in the middle of a group of noisy teenagers. I try to get away by entering a perpendicular street leading to a parallell road and walking it in the opposite direction. On the other road, the sidewalk is too narrow and the road is too busy, so I spot an old fashion mall that I know can be crossed into another street so I go in.
I am myself again and I meet some familiar faces at the food court sharing a table. Namely there's Evangelion, whom I don't see for ages and he tells me to sit down at his side. We are packed really tight, but that was his intention all along. He flirts with me and I enjoy it. He says he missed me and would like to be with me somewhere alone right now. The others hear it and laugh, but he is serious. He suggests I follow him and I ask if he is taking me for a quickie in the public restroom but he doesn't get the sarcasm in my voice, Instead he answers that he has a better idea. There is some sort of rental rooms over the mall and despite all being taken he has some friends staying there and he hopes to get a room for free. He kinda does. Some friend is packing to check out soon and says we can enjoy the room for a while while she goes do something outside. I feel embarassed with all this, but I am also horny and want to be with him so I play along. As I get in bed he disappears for a while and when he comes back he has turned into a horny pimpled chubby pre-teenager and I wonder what the hell happened. He says he can't control it when he feels horny, he just becomes his younger self. He gets in bed and I say no way. Not only I'd be in trouble if I am found in bed with a minor, he also looks terribly unnatractive. He also can't contain himself and he is already literally covered in cum. I point it out and he is like "so what"? I am disgusted. Then my mom and a bunch other people just barge into the bedroom and they are shocked. My mom asks what am I doing and why. I try to lie and say it's nothing of what they think it is. I am actually still dressed under the sheets so I get up and say I was just taking a nap and this kid snuck in and got too excited. But they actually know it's Evangelion and know he is actually an adult and that that is not the problem. So I tell him to get back to his current self and he goes to the toilet and says he'll be back soon. When he does he is back into his tall adult self. I introduce him to mom and the others and they are all very nice and cordial and say we don't need to be embarassed. But I feel a bit puzzled and want to know what the problem is after all that they all barged in on us. Turns out that my mom thought I have been too libertine and worries that I go to bed with every guy.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In high school / university mix situation, being bullied by Monica and her minions. Even in the bathroom, they burst open the stall where I am sitting on the toilet, demanding something I don't have, just to humiliate me. Then later on class, we're getting our grades and she scores higher than anyone else. I believe she is cheating, but everybody praises her and she gets a round of applause. I don't want to look petty but I gotta say something. I don't accuse her of cheating, but I say I won't clap because she is a bully and she's been bullying me constantly to derail me. Even if she really is smart, she's still a bad person. Nobody denies it, they tell me everybody knows that she bullies, but they still think she should be praised for her grades and they clearly think I am petty for bringing this up. I am appalled. As soon as everyone's attention goes elsewhere, she sneaks in close to me and pinches me hard, hurting me and I say I am sick of it and I am no longer going to be civilized with her. I do a choke hold on her and throw her on the floor and she kicks the air struggling to breath. I eventually let her go and we still fight a bit more, but I can tell she is scared of this new side of me. After the class everybody is going out somewhere and I join just to avoid being cast out, but I wonder if I should, since nobody likes me much anyway and I don't owe them anything. It starts raining as we walk down the street. It's already dark. I pull an umbrella out from my backpack. Everybody gathers in pairs or bigger groups under different umbrellas and I offer a ride under mine to anyone who needs it, but only Monica accepts. I yell there's not a chance in hell and I turn to a group that has like 4 people under one umbrella and offer to welcome at least one of them. They don't accept so I just carry on. I am tired of being nice. We walk into a grand central station and everyone heads to a subway line, but I miss them in the crowd. I don't know which direction they're going. Then I get distracted by some bijouterie lost on the floor. I pick it up and some lady who is just standing there notices it and says she had actually seen it before but was too embarassed to pick it up. She then points out to more bijouterie under a ledge and I am surprised with the finding. Like little kids who found a treasure, we pick it up piece by piece, making pairs with the found earrings and admiring the colorful stones and I fill my pockets with it. The lady doesn't want it for herself, she is just happy to help me find these. Then some other lady comes by and says she doen't think all that bijouterie is lost, but that it belongs to a seller who is there during the day and leaves her things hidden in there for the night. I feel bad and put it all back, except for that one piece that was efectively broken and in pieces on the floor and which seems like it was really discarded. Meanwhile, I am approached by Rupigo who asks me where some other colleague went and if he joined the others. I say I haven't seen him but I suppose so. Then decide to go after him as he probably knows the direction to go. But I don't want to go down the stairs against the flow of the crowd, so I just jump a balcony, the height of one floor, and gently land in the main central area of the station, near a ticket booth. I realize I am dreaming and that I can do whatever I want. I still debate a little with myself if I should go after the group lucidly, or not and I realize it is completely irrelevant. Instead I fly over everyone's heads and I move to the exit. I play a little with the fact that I can cross walls and columns and don't really need to find a door, but I am still planning my next move. Unfortunately the dream isn't stable enough and I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Driving near my home, on the street perpendicular to the one with cat colony, and I spot an airplane flying very very low in circles. At some point I am sure it will crash. It is flying on its side and one wing hits an old stone wall on the edge of a plot of land. Miraculously, the plane doesn't crash right away and the pilot manages to straigthen it up and land on the narrow road besides it. But the airplane is all crumbled and broken. Some populars gather around to see and comment the situation but nothing agressive. Still, the pilot, who comes out unharmed, feels attacked and starts shouting and insulting everyone and telling them to go away.
Somehow in the middle of this crowd I meet a time traveller. A guy tells me he invented time travelling and it's fine to go back and even meet yourself. I tell him I want to go back to some moment in the past. We land at some day when I was a toddler and my parents left me at the care of my grandmother. We knock at her door pretending to be salespeople. Back then everything was so much more simple and people trusted each other, so she invites us in and shows her she is feeding her granddaughter grapes. As my colleague sits down to talk about the fake deal with my grandma, I ask if I can hold the baby and feed her. She allows and I sit at a table holding my chubby toddler self and I feed her grapes. But I find the grapes are way too big and I might choke on those, so I chew them into smaller pieces, but my baby me rejects those. I ask my grandma why she is rejecting since it is easier to eat and swallow and she says she probably just doesn't want anymore grapes and that she has some sweets for her now. She hands me down some type of cake that has a crunchy white outside and is filled with a yummi creamy brown interior loaded with nuts and almonds. Once again, I don't think it is appropriate to feed these to the baby, both for the sugar content and the nuts she can choke on, so I again bite smaller chunks to feed the baby and in the meanwhile, I eat most of it myself because it's really yummi. Back in the future, my new friend has his machine and a big white board with formulas and notes in some small garage owned by some other guy. Incredibly, this other guy doesn't believe he actually time travels, so he goes back just a little bit just to write something on the white board and we in the present see it magically appearing on it. The time traveller guy had also been to the future recently and checked that his friend will still be offering him shelter in his garage for years to come, so him believing in it or not is irrelevant, he just needs a low-key place to keep it discreetly away.

Parking with Riverstone at a parking in front ot some buildings, I am approached by a little girl who looks like a gipsy in ragged clothes. She asks for something, I can't hear exactly what. I have nothing I can offer, but I tell her I will bring something next time. Then we go inside the building, and the house we're in is similar to my mother's. We sit on the bed of my mom's room watching tv. The kid returns and I invite her in, because I want to know more about her needs. She is amazed at all my dolls and plushies. First, I think about letting her chose which one she wants, but then I recall I have lot more others in storage that I don't like as much and I prefer donating. So I ask her where she lives so I can go there one day with gifts and she takes me downstairs and around the building to show an apartment tower just behind us. Some windows on like the second floor are open and I see a large family inside, some of them at the window. I tell her I'll give my phone number to her so she can call me but she says she already has my phone. I wonder how.

I am taking a shower at some place I don't recognize, but feels like home. Someone comes inside the bathroom and because my shower curtains ar way too short and don't close well, I see it is my *** . I feel embarassed and focus on pulling the curtains to close them as much as possible, but he pushes them a little open so he can peek. I feel awful and angry and I tell him to stop. He feels entitled to do it and I don't understand. I want to run away, I grab towels and cover myself. Then I remember I am a fully grown adult now and I really don't have to put up with his shit. So I tell him that and threathen to beat his ass if he doesn't just disappear and leave me alone.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting the location of some teachings I am attending, I am amazed by the architecture and decor of the place, the temple, the gardens. I am helping out and looking for a mop to clean something when I stumble across Em. She takes me to her own apartment to get me a mop and says she is also tidying it up. And it really needs, it looks like a hoarder's house. She claims it's her mother who likes to have stuff covering every surface. I find that odd, from what I know about her, but say it's the same with me and my mom, except we don't want to, it just happens. Our teacher is on-site and welcoming small groups for personalized conversations and teachings in a large reception hall. He is receiving a group which I join in by mistake and they are talking about Jesus and calling themselves a church, it all sounds satirical yet they are truly commited to the part. I have no clue what they are up to, but not my business, so I leave. I am then invited to join a larger group who is having some kind of reception with food and drinks. We sit at a large U shaped table that goes around a U shaped corridor. Food starts being served and I ask if this is dinner, they say no and then I reply we will be full and not need dinner later. I meet some nice people and one guy is recording snips and bits of the event and makes a short clip with me, which distracts me for like 10 minutes, enough for all the food to disappear. They suggest I go directly to the kitchen and ask for more, but the only tray they still have is taken to another group and there is nothing left. I realize I am so hungry and can't wait until the next meal. I almost have a meltdown because of it.
Some guy and girl invite me to go out and look for some café or other place to eat and I join them. The location feels like some European city with modern buildings. I feel Berlin vibes but it actually looks more like London. We are at some terraced passageway and then we need to go down some stairs to reach the main street where there is the subway and they are asking me where I am staying and where would be more convenient to go and I have no idea. They ask east or west and I mention vaguely an area but my mind is blurry. Then for some reason I decide to not go with them anymore and we separate. I then spot two ginger cats sleeping in the street, their backs against a wall, and I approach to see if they're ok. Apparently so and anyway I can't take them with me, so I leave them be.
Then it gets blurry again but I am with a group of 2-3 people in a room and they aren't friendly to me and are menacing somehow, so I leave and try to lock the door behind me. I can't, so I start zigzagging through rooms and realize I am in some kind of the Backrooms, as each room has 3-4 doors only leading to another room and so on. Some are empty, some look like normal rooms in a home. I start becoming lucid and think of what to do next. Not sure, have no plan, but I spot a door that opens to an absolute pitch darkness and I decide to jump through it as a portal and see where I land. Doesn't go as planned. I just enter a darker and most dangerous area of the Backrooms, filled with monsters. First I stumble from room to room in the darkness, finding some hints of a faded light here and there showing a door or some furniture against a wall. Then I came across the first monster. It looks a bit like Venom, shiny black slim body and a big head with sharp teeth. He just appears out of nowhere and falls on me. I just have time to grab his head away from mine and we fight on the floor. I try several hooks to keep him imobilized as I try to find a weakness to hurt him. Eventually I manage to grab some object and slam it into his head, but it takes a lot of times to knock him down and he bits me a couple times. Then I continue wandering and encounter a metal staircase leading to upper or lower levels. I go up and enter a level that has victorian decor in the hallways and beautiful colored bead curtains hanging over many doors. As soon as I cross one such doors and it makes a distinct sound of beads against each other, some woman with a kid appears running and yelling that I just attracted the creature. The creature is a hollow blue mesh figure, a bit like the other slender figure before, but more hunched and walking on four limbs. The front limbs a bit longer than the back limbs. And the head is very thin, basically a neck ending in a jaw. I don't even know how this creature can hurt, because it looks so frail, but it is scary nonetheless. We run upwards but all the next floors are still in the same style with the same damn curtains. Eventually I enter one such floor any way and allow the creature to follow me throughout the rooms. I then face it and grab its head to find it is indeed frail. I rip apart the head mesh as if it is cardboard and that is it. Then I think I see the kid again, can't tell if he is the same, but must be. I call him closer, I don't see his mother around. He stares at me, doesn't move or say a word. Then he gets closer and I noticed he has a snake like tongue and he is actually preparing to attack me. He is just another monster. He tries to snatch me with his tongue and I just have time to jump to the side and escape him. Turns out the woman was walking on the ceiling like a spider and also throwing her tongue to catch me at the same time. Instead both their tongues get entangled and when she pulls her tongue in she swallows the kid whole. I run away again through rooms and rooms, until I find a new level which looks more like the real world. I hear human voices, but not knowing what it is I hide in a room which looks almost normal, with a bed and sheets and even some light coming from some kind of window. I hide under the bed when I hear the voices approaching. It is two guys and they close the door behind them, looking scared and looking for something to block it. They seem human, so I decide to reveal myself. I don't want to startle them, so I whisper to get their attention. They are still spooked at first, suspicious of me, but they end up trusting I am also human. They say they were being chased by some being who looked like a giant leprechaun with two heads. And either he has two faces on the main head or he can send one of the faces down a tentacle-like arm and generate a second head at the end of his arm. The creature arrives at our door and starts pouncing on it heavily. I help them hold it up, but we know he will eventually break it, so I look around for something again that I can use as a weapon. There is some sharp metal thingy from the bed frame and I grab it. The monster finally blasts the door open and throws us down on the ground, but he doesn't come in right away, instead he peaks with his tentacle head first and I stab it with the sharp metal. The creature leaves in agonizing pain, but I still get to see its whole body and main head and it really looks like a leprechaun with a beard and some dusty brown clothing and a semblance of a hat.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With my mom doing tourism somewhere exotic. We just had some snacks at a cafeteria in what seems like a bazar. Then I am drawn to this sort of temple and realize there is a buddhist event inside and I spot my teacher in there. He is coming down from the stage and giving his place to some other lama. Me and mom are at some lateral door when my teacher walks down an isle, perpendicular to us and I think he sees me by the corner of his eyes. I fold my hands on my chest. I notice I am wearing a long white embroidered dress. Then I leave with my mom, trying to figure out where my teacher is going, but I am nt walking anymore, instead I am levitating above my mom as she walks below.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a spaceship like the ones in Star Trek. It is a very large one and we're dangerously close to the surface of planet Earth doing some high risk maneuver, trying to escape some other spaceship in pursuit. This maneuver was never accomplished and our ship is shaking and creaking like it is falling apart, but it holds up. The other one doesn't and we watch it be ripped appart. Then, I am not sure if by the effect of our massive ship or something else happening on the planet, but the ground below is also breaking apart, I watch a road cracking and breaking apart and some high pressure water jets coming from underground hitting the ship. There is a part of the ship which was severely damaged, which breaks apart when hit by these water jets and falls into the surface. It brings me and a couple collagues down with it. We don't know what to do when on the ground. First we run after the ship (as if we were running after a car) but it is massive and it isn't stopping for us. Then we run through a town to find some specific place, I think maybe some place from where we can communicate with the ship. I and another girl, we lose track of our male colleague who was running ahead of us and he is the one with the coordinates. We emd up inside the building of an airport and I look for clues of where he might have headed. Anything. I find a decorative flower bed with some plaque identifying plants by numbers and I notice some numbers are not correlated to plant names as other numbers are and I assume it is a coded message he left for us, but it seems incomplete. My colleague thinks I am reading too much from nothing and that this was not made by him, it is just some random incomplete info on an abandoned airport.

At my mom's, very early morning. But she isn't home, she is enjoying some well deserved vacations. Unexpectedly I have other family members with me, like my deceased uncle Zé F.. I am looking for bread, coffee and cereals to prepare breakfast. We have a TV in the kitchen and I am looking for some news or show to put on for my uncle and whomever else is with us. But all channels are playing weird stuff. On the public network they are playing some videoclip of hispanic rappers singing about gangs and I wonder why the hell they are playing that on what seems like a weekend morning. The videoclip grasps my attention as it is filmed in Lisbon. Then I am there, walking through old Lisbon. It's still early morning, so there are very few people on the streets, but groups are arriving and descending from buses. We're near some church or cathedral and I spot some weird poster on a wall that reads like a newspaper and ther is some news story that Greta Thunberg is dead in a car accident with her father. I am shocked and turn around to discuss it with someone but when I try showing them the poster where I read it, the poster is gone and I am confused. I decide to keep walking and I see a bunch of tourists hangin out and listening to a guide in front of the church. I realize they are catholic devotees. I think to myself this could be a lucid dream and I would use the chance to prank them. Then I realize it really is a dream. I think what to do and have no concrete idea, so I just lift off in the air to try to prank these believers by claiming to be some celestial apparition, but it doesn't go as planned. I feel a very intense undescribable sensation in my mind, as if I am not just flying, but dissolving from this dream reality and I get very dizzy. I notice the dream characters don't even notice me, so what's the point of trolling them. Instead I fly away from the city and over a hill full of trees and just enjoy the landscape while thinking what to do. I latch on to the top of the tallest tree I see and wonder what would it feel to shrink to microscopic level and explore its microscopic life. So slowly I shrink myself to the size of a bug and I go down inside a crevice on the tree trunk, feeling the textures of the wood and mosses and water dripping. Then slowly shrinking more. But I eventually reach a dark crevice with dirt and I can't see a thing and feel my body stuck and unable to move. I try not to panic, think about either shrinking more or just expand to full size and blow up the tree to get out. But I doubt my abilities for a second and then I no longer can't do any of it. I wait still for a little bit but the dream isn't changing, it's just me in a dark tight hole and I feel like I can't even turn my head. I am starting to panic and wondering if I am just experiencing sleep paralysis and not on a dream anymore. So I decide it is not worth it and it is better to wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Running away and hiding from something or someone. I arrive at this small village on a hill, near a river, that I used to often dream about. Some lady stops the car and offers me a ride. I accept. She then proceeds to talk to me as if we're familiar to each other but I don't feel like we are. Until she says we met years ago in a summer camp, in this place and we used to swim on the river. Then I feel like I have been rude and say sorry, but I still don't remember. Then notice she has a kid in the car, so I say hi to the kid. I need to do some shopping, so she takes me on to a local supermarket. Then it gets weirder. Everybody looks at me like I am a foreigner. Then at the cashier, I am surprised that a jar of olives I picked up is over 50€. I tell the cashier to please put it back as I am not taking it and he goes ballistic. Says he won't, that it is the shop policy that anything you bring to the cashier, you have to pay and take with you. I refuse and say that's insane. My so-called friend actually says I should because it is like this around here and nobody breaks the rule, it's the law. So I just drop everything I was going to buy and walk away not buying anything. They say if I don't pay for it all and take it with me, they will call the police. I am increasingly befuddled and decide to just run away before the cops come.