lucid

Date: 8 July

Wbtb time but I feel so tired, decide to have 1/3 latte nevertheless and do the wrong wbtb - straight into bed. A few mantras but I know this will lead to no lds as I feel super sleepy. I quickly fall asleep and guiltily wake up couple of times to confirm this is the case but am too lazy to wake up more. I decide to experiment with the third eye as a focus point to see if this increases my wakefulness and focus for an ld. Not really increase in wakefulness but it did serve as a sort of anchor.

LD: The dream starts as I find myself staring at some furniture, while still in sleepying position. One of those moments where you are not sure you are quite in and I concentrate more on the forehead point to get a better grip of the dream, then a bit later start moving my hands, etc. In the beginning I'm gently floating and spinning, it's not unpleasant. I want to make sure that have fully transitioned to this dream.

I think shortly of the location and wonder whether to do a direct teleport but decide against it. I get up, it's grandma's kitchen and for some reason I decide to take the stairs to go outside. I open the door with tk and also close it and lock it with my mind. It's almost as I could feel grandma's presence doing that. I get down the stairs and tk open the locked building door to get out. As I'm on the street I have a moment of excitement and tk lift a car in the air. Also do very short skateboarding down the street slightly above the ground.

My mind is very blurry as I try to remember any tasks for the totm. I recall the DV goal and look around to see if Sensei might be nearby. There's an older teenage boy on a bike with a slightly longer hair that could do. But let me try to get Sensei here. It's a whole street full of DCs so one of them has to be him. I concentrate and think about Sensei, turn to the side in the opposite direction and to my surprise there he is - tall with browish hair, etc. He smiles happily.

We go up the street which turns into a gray building and I decide we will be learning superpowers. I feel that instead of me doing all the controling as in tk, I should try to give the DC more free will and let it demonstrate super powers, while I'm just saying what we are about to do. There is a a pencil like object and I throw it in the air, trying not to hold it with my mind and say that BB should try to lift the object. Before he can react, it falls on the floor.

"Ok, maybe you can demonstrate fire magic instead", I hint. Sensei takes the initiative and produces a large peach colored napkin, unfolds it, throws it in the air and tries to blow in its direction. I now understand what trick he had in mind, he was going to ignite the whole paper with his breath. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen and the object just remains in the air for a while. I feel a bit guilty because maybe I have sabotaged the demonstration by being slow to understand the procedure and didn't put my expectation into it. I'm saying something mid-sentence when the dream abruptly comes to an end.

Non-ld: I have an earlier non-ld where BB is on some other platform online and has organized a dream game where we have to gather pieces of a puzzle.

Date: 03 July

Pre bed: 300 mg valerian

Wbtb: 1/2 latte (other, around 40 mg caffeine)

In this ld series, counted at least 3 DEILDs, memory not at best, many locations

I get lots of HI, some are very clear and I am able to hold a few for a while but not enter them, also some fake hand movements etc.

Mini dream: On a balcony, they are constructing a bridge over it, I have some awareness that this is a dream but soon wake up.

Mini-ld: We are in the middle of having a dinner and I find myself chewing on tasty lettuce. Bf tells me about people having these phantom limb sensations, I reply that this is because they were dreaming, it's the dream body moving. I move my dream hands to check if they fit comparing them to previous HI attempts. All in.

I'm sitting next to bf and see this glow around his head. Could this be real bf? No, I don't think it's him. I say something to him I can't recall and watch for the reaction. The scene devolves into a mildly creepy one where my voice turns into a dry ghostly whispering independent of my command. I also feel some part of my real body (like back or hands supposedly) as I'm about to consciously exist any moment. There are other disturbing noises and I'm so not in the mood to deal with this and wake up.

I take a mini toilet break then back to bed.

LD pack: My recall is bad on this one, I think I deilded at the end. Once again I find myself with bf in a dark room and this time it develops into a full blown Xanous like scenario, bf is quick to disappear and this eerie invisible entity comes instead.

This whole thing is probably just my imagination but I feel I can't control the entity. What it does is lift me upside down at the level of the ceiling and keeps me spinning and spinning in the air. Continuous spacial rotation is not pleasant and you get dizzy just like irl (without expecting it). I'm hoping that this would stop but it doesn't so I decide to attack the thing. I do my best trying to take it apart, it looks like some movie type of dark creature. Since nothing helps, I let go and leave it spin me around to see what happens.

Memory gap so not sure what happened next.

I appear in a dark modern apartment. Do I know this place, have I been here before? The arrangement is somewhat similar to a few old non-lds but not exactly. I'm a bit suspicious that the dark entity drove me here and the confrontation will continue. Just remain calm and continue exploring around, and there is indeed nothing out of the ordinary. I remember the basic task of the month. In what looks like the kitchen are two DCs male and female involved in some sort of activity/experiment and photographing barbie legs or whatever.

I tell them to help me undress and they do. I think they managed to get all clothes but there was a reappearing underwear top thing that I had to take off. Memory gap.

Most likely this is where I went for another deild.

Fragment. I can't recall in which room I appeared but now am at our old place, pass through my room, talk to mom, tell her to open the door to the balcony. She tells me the door is open, I think just like in the dreams of (Sensei?) the doors are always open. I go on the balcony.

The scene is extremely beautiful and vivid though a bit unstable. It's a magical late afternoon and and there are hues of orange in the sky and some buildings etc. I make a mental note about that and cautiously proceed to examine it in a bit more detail before rushing off for totm. I take the time to examine the colorful flowers on the balcony and the surroundings, can feel the wind gently blowing. Ok, enough as I start worrying that I don't have that much time in the dream after all.

The idea is to get down and continue with the naked task with some random DC audience on the street. Time to make that jump again. I feel a bit bolder this time, go to the side where I often decent in my non-lds and take a look at the street, yard etc. The amount of detail is simply amazing - it's as if every piece of the memory falls into place. How am I able to reproduce all that, I have absolutely no idea. The thing that strikes me the most is the grass. There are a few longer types of grass next to the fence with long grass florets that casually and continuously sway with the wind. The scene is perfect.

I am preparing to jump down or get down using any means. I think at this point I might have lost the dream though. There were some DCs on the street I wanted to interact with. Memory gap.

The next scene I recall is a place similar to my school and I head for the window again. Think there was more between those scenes. Feeling bold again at this point, I don't care if I will be able to open the window or get through - the frames change so it is hard to get out but I am determined to get out. In the end it changes so I am able to open it and look down. It's high again. This is so tiresome. I worry that if I jump and fall too drastically this may destabilize the dream and make it go away altogether. What to do?

I decide to slide down the building or do the usual non-ld climbing down so scan the building for any frames, rails and similar items to hold on to. There aren't many of these on this building though, but I give it a try nevertheless. I start to slide down and immediately use the sticky fingers technique where my hands adhere to the surface. To my surpise it works really well and immediately slows down the sliding to almost a halt. This is great, so I will use this now to slowly slide down, but before I move too much, the building gets much shorter and it's as if I just teleported to the ground. Unfortunately, at this point the dream thins out and I'm back in bed

I hold still for a deild again while a bit worried about recall and whether I will be able to go back to the same scene.

DEILD:Back in the same scene! Ok, I decide to help stability a bit, there is a jar full of colorful sand and stones on a table near the building so I take it and pour some of the stones on my feet. They are gentle enough not to hurt but provide nice tactile sensations to hold on to. I also recall that other ld where I drank a glass of cold water and felt so much better. There is a glass and a bottle/bottles of cold water and I pour some on my head and (did I drink any?) and body and on my head again. The water is cold and absolutely refreshing. I think I will recommend this technique on DV.

I continue down the street and spot three possible locations to go to. It's nice and sunny with a feel for some exotic dream city. I stare at the three spots trying to feel which one is most inviting. In one of the places is an Asian guy dressed with cool clothes and a motor helmet. Looks like they are having fun there and I head in that direction but the guy is no longer there. Nearby is a huge head statue made of sandstone, it looks ancient and a booth where this lady is handing out free tickets for some event. I briefly wonder about this place. Then recall the basic totm, queue for a short while, grab the entry tickets undress fully and follow the crowd to whatever place they are going. People stare at me as I explain this is for the totm.

The place turns into some sort of a train/disco. I go further down the carriages of this crowded place. My best friend from school is now tagging along and I become really happy because she is the best companion to have in dreams. I feel a bit conscientious about my previous behavior and once again repeat that this was for the totm. "We just did the totm", I say. Let me see if this is correct. I try to remember what the tasks were, reaching for my memory while being cautious not to concentrate too much like that one time. Yes, that was one of the tasks. I also recall I wanted to look for Sensei. My idea was to teleport to him, but don't want to push my luck too far with that.

There are lots of DCs walking around and I scan them trying to see if Sensei might be among them. Nope. Ok, any of you guys good with teleportation? No reply. Ok, I guess I'll summon him then. *Thinking* There is a tall DC just round the corner. There!

A tall guy walks from round the corner and I begin to question him "Are you BrandonBoss?" He: "Huh? Brandonboss - you?" Points at me. Then points at himself. Me? No. He's got blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I decide to probe him again. He denies being BB and says something else I can't recall. Oh well. I leave him and continue down the carriages which is now more like I'm exiting a disco or bar.

There's a stand where they sell cigars and some of them are actually candy. I spot a really nice package of dream lollipops (under transformation) and feeling mischievous grab them. Yes, it's a dream so I can take this. Oh, wait, the other totm! I wonder if this counts, the lollipops turn into other appealing types of candy and chocolate before I start stuffing them in my mouth. They taste really good like a really pleasant chocolate and other fantastic sweets. I can't believe it but this time I chew all of them.

I'm wondering what else to do here when the dream comes to an end.

Date: 28 June

Both of us had indigestion that led to early wake and insomnia. After a long time of discomfort, I finally fall asleep for a bit.

Funny HI: there was this really strange crazy camel monkey face that was shaved like Hulk Hogan.

LD: Don't quite remember the beginning of the dream, but in the earliest part I find myself on the floor in the same position I was sleeping, topless and staring into a mirror. My torso is that of a ripped man though and I marvel the amount of muscle on the abs.

As I focus on the abs, they slowly turn into the image of a fortress as my mind zooms in and transforms the scene. Here I have awareness that this is a dream, but no spike in awareness or aha moment. The castle turns into the doors of a fortress and I mentally open them. It looks much like playing a game now and I feel excited, move forward as if playing an rpg game and not moving bodily initially. The doors reveal a tunnel that splits in two sections. I am bodily present now and decide to take the right fork and enter a room. There is an ancient chest inside. This is so exciting, I'm thinking, my awareness gradually going up. I open the chest where there are two pieces of a broken Persian tablet. Lots of false memories come with the stuff - you have to gather the pieces, which fit by some sort of magnetic attraction. Two pieces are missing and I examine the rest of the chest although I know they have to be in the other room.

At this point, the DC of this person from real life comes. She hasn't featured in many lds, but is usually an irritating DC in non-lds. Now she begins to mess with the chest and stuff and I totally dislike her being around. I try to get her to leave, telling her she has no place here and that this is my dream. She doesn't like it and produces a knife and after a bit of struggle stabs me with it. If I'm not mistaken it's in my palm. This is outrageous, and I decide to use the lucid dreamer's weapon "You are not real, the pain doesn't exist, I'm ok". She just stands there but alas I feel terrible pain. The sensation is so strong and overwhelming, I'm afraid I'm going to go into dream trance (which happened once after an intense bout of fear). Nothing against that, but I wanted to act more in the dream and now one of the effects is that everything becomes blurry and out of focus. This angers me and I tell her "See what you did, you ruined the dream".

Not quite sure what exactly happened, but I decide to move on and continue walking around and things return to normal. It's a nice apartment now that I perceive as my parents' place. There are lots of DCs here and I interact with them but don't remember all of it. Went from one room to the other and also had some sexy thoughts but then I got annoyed with myself and dropped the matter.

I go to the kitchen and see a classmate and think this is a good opportunity to talk to his DC and ask him why he behaves like he does. But by the time I reach him, his features change and it's another person. We still exchange a few words. There are about 6-7 DCs in the kitchen I interact with them. The first thing that makes an impression is that after saying something funny, they all start laughing in exactly the same manner, making the exact same movement. I make them laugh some more and then shout out loud to get their attention, they all look at me in the same way. One final attempt, I raise my hand to get their attention as if making a speech and now all of them do this at the same time. I find if weird that all of them do this and think about asking on DV.

In the living room, I do the raise your hands and shout thing again and get echo replies from the DCs again. This makes me want to have a music experience where all of them sing & shout in the same enthusiastic fashion and decide that it will be cool to play "take a look around" for this effect. Not quite sure if there was previously music playing in the background or false memories, also more false memories about me preparing the place beforehand so that you can use it as desired in an ld. In this case it is possible to leave a device with a song from real life and play it in the dream. But I didn't prepare it, so I have to improvise.

While I play the song in my mind to check if I know it correctly, I'm not confident that I will be able to fully produce it by singing so would rather rely on an external device. There's a TV nearby and I get the remote and begin searching channels for MTV. The first thing that appears on the screen once the TV turns on is a manga channel, the series they are showing is called Sensei and the whole channel is dedicated to it. I get a false memory that this channel only shows the Sensei series and the series are named after the main character. It makes sense to me now that Boss chose the name of the main character in this series. I continue changing channels, looking for MTV and shortly come across it, but the TV switches back to the Sensei channel. (It doesn't dawn to me at all that I am supposed to look for him even after seeing this! )

A bit later I decide to give up and go near the window where there is DC. We engage in a conversation but I lose my lucidity. Soon after wake up.

Date: 25 Jun

Pre bed: 40mg B6

Woke up a million times during the night, but not once attempted to deild/wild, etc.

Wbtb: 1/2 latte but was somewhat less wakeful than necessary

HI: with Sensei (only team colors this time, my name in green, his in silver )

Fell asleep in rather heavy sleep.

LD: I'm using the tram without a ticket and am worried about that but don't realize it's a dream till later.

At some point I'm on the street lucid and do some spontaneus flying again. I see this guy from school and decide to fly towards him, where I focus on my hands being on his shoulder and speed fly/zoom to move there. I recall to seek Sensei but decide the dream needs stabilizing and spend a few seconds feeling the texture of the guy's jacket. He says a few words and I probe whether he can talk but he mostly replies with gibberish.

We continue down the street and there's another guy with him. It gradually gets darker till it's as dark as night. I gaze at a distant light that's so bright it leaves an after image. I think about asking about this on DV. This doesn't make things better for my vision as everything around fades into darkness. I address the guys and tell them to fix this, that we need some color but the they don't help much. The physical sensations are still here, so I decide to bring back the scene by engaging in action and begin to strip one of the guys.

A scene appears in full color but for some reason this has the effect of an FA and I become very concerned about what I'm doing. A moment later wake up.

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

Date: 06 June

Didn't plan to wbtb but woke up super alert and couldn't fall asleep for quite a while. Had to rush so left only key words and wrote the entry much later. Apart from that I can say that this was probably one of the longest lds I've had.

Ld: I appear on the street in a car, some guy nearby. For some reason I decide to think of my physical body and panic as not to wake myself [have been reading about this on the forum and got some sort of schema infection]. I try to ignore it and concentrate on the dream, get out of the car. On the street, I run into a chick with a black dress, try to kiss her for totm but wake up.

I wait for another dream.

LD: In an apartment with my mom (this dream lasts super long, I don't try to memorize the details though). Mostly spend it in the apartment, walking around and talking to mom, trying not to control or influence her. Very stable. Mom is talking like a normal person. I kiss her on the cheek for totm.

I examine the living room, the objects - wooden Mayan statues like the face of Pacal. Kids collectible toys on nearby shelves - I start to recognize them, false memories, they are mine. This place, I have been here before. I face mom and start questioning her about all this. She explains something about this being in the future and our new place.

What's interesting is that I feel super alert. I scan my awareness and I feel this wakefulness - very alert and just as if in real life. I think it's impossible to be dreaming this alert and yet I'm here. There's an Asian DC in place of mom now and a second DC next to her. I intensely question the first about the dream and place but she only smiles shyly. A moment later something happens super fast - there is some sort of an open box and the Asian woman disappears into it - like genie into a lamp sort of but vanishes to leave the empty open box. The other DC turns into some weird objects - it's hard to tell what they are, they turn to little plastic soldiers then transform into other plastic colorful objects.

I remember the meteor task and go to the window, stare at the sky to see a meteor form out of the nothingness. It then moves from the distance following a twisted trajectory, decelerates to fall in front of the window and into a shallow water that covers the street where it disintegrates. I'm a bit disappointed that there is no showy splash or damage, so repeat the process with two smaller meteorites that fall and dissolve in the same way.

The dream continues and I turn back to the apartment where I hang out more. I begin to feel possible lack of ability to stay here, so I go into the kitchen to drink a glass of refreshing cold water. This helps me feel better and focus. A moment later I decide to fully immense in living in this other place and have breakfast. My mom serves me some eggs, they weren't as delicious as I had hoped for but ok.

At some point my bf arrives, where we discuss the place and future but I lose lucidity.

The next part I recall is that we are strolling on the beach and I'm lucid again, reshaping the beach and calming down the waves.

My recall is completely fragmented at the end but after some more on and off lucidity I end up in a church watching DC wearing weird clothes.

From 17/05

Bf wakes up for a quick bathroom visit. In the meantime, I'm trying to fall asleep and end up wilding in the bedroom. Everything is very blurry and I'm a bit surprised to be here so fast. I take a moment to examine my hand and move it around to make sure this is a dream and not HI. A little bit of trouble manoeuvring around possibly feeling minor paralysis feedback from my real body. In spite of the blurriness, it gives me the impression of an OBE, everything is the same and the light in the room is exactly the same as during that time. I head down the corridor and towards the bathroom thinking that bf will come out any moment now. He comes out and sees me, looking rather distressed and backs away. I start worrying about what he thinks he sees and me causing all this stress so I decide to wake up immediately and explain.

I wake up. Bf still hasn't come out.

Pre pre: turmeric

Wbtb: had 1/3 latte, was more sleepy, so the ld was more stable, but tasks less accessible.

A dream starts with some scenario going while I'm in my bed in ex-bedroom trying to fall asleep. A moment of the usual confusion as I'm uncertain in the darkness which hands I'm moving. I think I'm moving my real hands because I can touch some of the furniture next to the bed. Then decide to make the dream appear, get up and expect to be able to move in the dream scene, which builds now fully around me. With slightly more confidence I go to the other room, where I examine the furniture layout. Contrary to my expectations the room seems very orderly, and nothing stands out to point out this is a dream. It looks suspiciously realistic and as if this is happening now. Then I have a look at the sofa and see dad and bf relaxing on the opposite sides.

I remember I wanted to do the easter egg task again. This time, I decide to just think of it rather than use hand summon to make the egg appear, then look to my side. There is a weird looking plant which is decorated with eggs. I pick a purple colored egg from the plant and remind myself to break it. Yet, the egg feels hollow and light and I'm afraid there won't be anything inside. I hold it for a while trying to make it a bit heavier and fill it with something to see. The egg remains light and I now worry that if I don't hurry up, these mental efforts will make it transform to something else, so go ahead and break it. The initial impression is that there is nothing inside, but as I examine the small pieces of egg shell fallen in, I notice there are a number of miniature banknotes inside the egg. I make a mental note for the journal.

The DCs change positions and now it's mom, dad and bf sitting on the couch and I start asking them questions. Unlike other of my conversations with DCs, these three can actually speak, forming entire complex sentences more or less answering my questions. I believe I have finally come across smart DCs. Unfortunately, I was unable to recall the most of the things they said, and had not been very prepared to ask them more questions either. This is what I remember.

My first thought is to wonder if it's possible those to be the real people I know, where we are all dreaming this here and now. I have some intuition that this isn't the case, but then wonder if it could be that all of us are engaged in this conversation in a different time (like the past or maybe the future), so I ask the DCs about that. My mom's DC starts to explain something about animals having the ability to do something similar to what we are doing now, but humans have lost this ability. I want them to continue explaining and ask them more questions I can't recall. The only gibberish moment happens when I focus too much on the speech and try to apply extra understanding to it. If I casually listen, they continue with their explanations.

The DCs change to other male DCs I don't know, they continue being smart and I feel close to them as if meeting friends I haven't seen for a long time. The conversation continues and I ask one of the guys something about the dream. He makes a remark that long dreams like this can be especially tiresome for some of the participants as if referring to himself. I'm out of ideas for questions, so try to remember the other tasks but the very strong effort to access this hard to reach memory causes the dream the completely collapse and me to wake up.

I do a mental review and still tired continue sleeping.

Pre bed: lecithin

Pre wbtb dreams: vivid but didn't write down when natural wakes so forgot

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

It was very hard to convince myself to do a wbtb as I was feeling so nice and sleepy. The lds were interrupted so my memory is a bit hazy for all details.

I miss the transition and a dream starts.

LD [summary]: In a dream version of my school and class starts. I become lucid and decide to do my location experiments [go from one place to another or as far as possible without the world changing]. After opening a door after door after door, I finally manage to leave the room and continue down a very distorted corridor, then struggle to maintain the building as is. The dream interrupts a few times/blindness. I get out of the building but unexpectedly teleport in front of our old place. Here I feel weirdly confident about being able to change the surroundings by simply turning around due to the high level of instability. Yet, it's against my initial goal, so I continue exploring the street with emphasis on proximity until the dream blacks out.

DEILD/or in dream chain:

I appear in the bathtub a bit uncertain about what's going on. Awareness increases and I move my hands around to stabilize, etc. What's interesting is that the bathtub is getting full of nice warm water that feels quite similar to rl. There is also music coming from somewhere, I assume it's my dream tablet. Still a bit confused about which dream goals I was supposed to be doing, I conclude that it is perfectly fine for me to just relax in the bathtub and listen to the music. The song sounds like depeche mode and in the dream I know the song and chorus lyrics. I chill out and listen to about half the length of the song, where the lyrics are a bit gibberish and I also don't know them, but once the chorus comes, I confidently sing with it. Also, at the end mentally manage to increase the volume of the invisible tablet for an ever better sound. [Post dr: have no memory which Depeche mode song this was or what those lyrics I knew were, it may be possible I came up with a different song altogether!]

There's a blackout/dream end and possibly I wait as in deild for the dream to continue.

The next moment, I'm back in the bathtub examining my hands and wondering what's going on. Minor confusion but then I mentally fill the bathtub with warm water again and pay attention to the sensation. I think about the dream length and conclude not to worry as I probably have caught a long rem rebound. Finally remember a task - easter egg and remind myself I can summon one. I close my hands and try to produce an easter egg - something egg-like comes into existence, with decorations and stuff, possibly plastic. It then undergoes changes and becomes completely transparent. This kind of defeats the purpose of the task since I'm supposed to open it and I try the summon again. Once more I get some strange transparent plastic foil egg with cool colored pics on the surface and another transparent plastic egg inside. I think this is like a balloon and wonder about it being ok for the task. As I examine the pics for the journal I notice that the inside egg has now colored pictures of balloons on the surface and the outside egg some disney characters like Mickey and Pluto. I think at this point the dream fades again and I end up mid way to wake.

DEILD/or in-dream chain:

Memory gap but I'm now in my old room and remember the next task - to come up with a new plant. I approach the window and see a plant whose foliage already looks weird, the leaves are similar to pelargonium but more curled. I decide to add random red fruit there, getting a mini-mental image but this doen't change the plant accordingly. There are two plants now, and without touching them and using mind, I start to twist their leaves and stems into all sorts of shapes, trying to create some sort of different plant. In the meantime flowers appear on one of the plants - two different types but they are almost drying now. More manipulation until in the end the plant turns into a smaller plant, mix of an orchid and violet. I think about the size then conclude this experiment in botanics is enough.

I then recall the tornado task and look out the window, thinking about one. The sky is gray and a tornado appears in the distance. It does look quite large and menacing and I briefly give in to paranoia, wondering whether I should hide since it is coming in my direction. Then I look at the opposite part of the sky and see that another one has formed. Two tornadoes, task complete and my mind is off the paranoia. Since this task is in line with my improve element manipulation goal, I wonder what else can I do here and decide that the thing to do would be to get rid of the clouds and tornadoes.

I go out on the balcony and focus on a tiny area of the sky that is blue and hold my hands up as if I'm stretching the blue sky gap, then decide to use the cover with hands tech to continue, covering the entire sky with my hands but for the gap of blue sky, so that the only thing I see and perceive is the blue sky (thus making me think of only blue sky). Allow a short while to pass, then move my hands away to see that the sky is indeed clearing up and is mostly nice blue sky. There are a few completely black clouds in one corner which I find interesting. Thinking about more element manipulation, I want to do something to the other clouds now - rearrange the sky again. I pick up a tiny white cloud and try to stretch it to the sides with my fingers (not really touching it) but end up actually holding a tiny piece of cloud in my hand.

I contemplate what else to do, might as well do the zoom task finally. Look to the other side of the balcony, where I see the neighbors' kid and his grandma and try to pick up a spot to zoom into. I look at a spot that will not be a too drastic scene change and point out to it, saying something like I want to be there. Nothing happens, but I see a second transparent but colored layer of my finger while pointing. The kid says something meaningful, giving me the impression of a smart DC so I think about interacting with him, also mentally remind myself not to lose my lucidity when doing so. The dream ends, back in bed and waiting for a bit but nothing more happens.

This is a short info summary from the 15th

Pre bed: l-arginine (500)

Natural wake: l-tyrosine (500)

Didn't do wbtb, no notes on pre bed work. Focus was on sleeping, no review in mind or notes taken until final wake.

The dreams were extremely vivid, wonder about the effect of this combo. Vividness may have also been boosted by lack of sleep in the days before.

NLD: In some very green neighborhood that transitions into a forest, very vivid experience. I notice there are cats everywhere, more and more of them (DS). Further there's a place where this DC is giving a presentation about getting rid of the cats and making some sort of lucid camp on the same place, teaching people how to ld.

Short ld: In the early part of this dream we are in a cool mansion where there is some event and I'm collecting various food items. We (me and some random and changing DC companion) then leave the mansion and I shortly get a game like view of the map where the mansion is. We decide that something is chasing is and go back in the mansion to find some item to helps us with that. The mansion is now deserted, this thing is supposedly after us, we end up jumping on roofs and climbing down couple of trees. I know it is a dream when climbing down, somewhat low awareness here.

On the street, I look at the DC and tell him to repeat this is a lucid dream and remind me of it later on as I would actually like to continue with this scenario. It's a bright sunny day and I catch part of a greek temple/baroque building behind the near buildings and contemplate whether to explore it. Decide to run through my goals first but the dream ends.

Date: 18 March

Pre bedish: Vit C, l-arginine

Not quite the same results with vividness compared to the last time (15th) that used l-arg, but the wbtb did it

Pre wbtb dream: somewhat vivid but quite evasive for recall

wbtb: 1/3 latte

LD1: The beginning memory is quite vague but the dream starts in my parents' place where I shortly talk to dad, some minor awareness about this being a dream that goes away the next moment. A relative comes and I go to greet her but notice that she is shaking, try to calm her down and hug her but she shakes more. I take a look at my hands and for the first? time I see an extra finger next to each one (they are kind of separated yet moving together with my hand). This doesn't quite jolt me into lucidity as I don't give it any thought at all, still concerned about my relative. As I move a bit I finally recall the short lucid moment before and remember I was supposed to be lding. I walk around with no particular place in mind when I feel the dream starting to thin out. In addition, there is this real but dream amplified sensation of hunger in my stomach, which makes the dream even more unstable and me very pissed off. I drag myself forward near some furniture with a rather defeated mindset.

Then I see dad sitting at a long dinning room table and recall the Mad Hatter Tea Party task. I think my mom was also there, so I turn to the kitchen and tell her to make me some tea. I look at the kitchen but my mom has disappeared. No, just when I need her DC she's gone, I turn around and try to summon her, which should be easy, still no DC. Quite interestingly, I do hear loud noises coming from the kitchen as if she is there - the water running, dishes, etc.

I decide to summon a cup of tea myself and more like a habit, I move my hands closer as if holding a cup of tea and the next moment I start distinguishing the light tea liquid in between. After a bit, a china cup appears there as well. My mood is super elevated after this - an effective summon in direct eyesight - not what I expected! I place it on the table - its existence is very shifty, where I try to manipulate it into a proper looking and full tea cup. In the meantime, if not mistaken mom comes and leaves a small tea cup at the table. I pour some of the liquid from the large one into the small one. Now everything looks satisfactory. The cups are still a bit shifty now with blue decorations. This is probably the only less rushed part of the dream, where I actually decide to take a moment and examine the picture at the bottom of the cup and memorize it. It is a typical Chinese decoration in blue - a village person with a Chinese straw hat as if fishing barehanded in the river in front of a village. I even get to feel some cool false memories/info about the people that used this cup at this point in the past and their life.

The next thing I need is a rabbit and I think about one while looking around, then turning to dad to see that he is holding one - a real rabbit, but as I come closer to examine it becomes a stuffed toy rabbit. Oh, well, it's still a rabbit. Now I need the mad hatter and as planned I want to summon Johnny Depp to represent him. This will be a tough one, so I decide to summon him as Jack Sparrow as this role has the strongest impression for my mind. I need to feel his presence, so I kind of shortly turn into him myself as I shout out full of emotion in a deep male pirate voice "Captain Jack Sparrow". A bit worried about the strength of my voice waking me up. This is enough to cause strong thoughts about the character and a JS DC appears in front of me. He's not wearing all the make up, but has pirate clothes and the dreadlocks. Similar to my cup summons, his facial features quickly change to those of a random DC. That doesn't matter now, I notice he wears no hat and if he is the mad hatter he has to, so I think about a hat, see one, then another one that I triumphantly place on his head. Ok, where were we? Briefly lose mental focus, then recall about the poem. I only manage to say the first word and the dream quickly thins out.

My concentration/mental energy has been rather poor for a deild. I review the dream, conclude that this was probably it for this month, since it will be difficult to go through all the summoning again. I feel tired and decide to just sleep.

A few short non-lds and then:

LD2: Weirdly, (or not!) I'm at my parents place again. Initially we are inside and my parents interact with this strange retriever type of dog. But something's totally off with it. It comes wearing some sort of a napkin mask and as I try to ask the dog about it, it seems to be trying to talk - like a person with his mouth shut, he (later she) makes some noises that sound like real words that almost make sense to me. I begin to suspect that this is actually a person undercover. He also runs like a person in the yard and it turns out just that - some French girl is pretending to be the dog.

We are outside now and some family friends are visiting. I make comments about the way they are dressed. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I am at the same location of the previous dream and indeed dreaming. I wonder what to do and discard the idea of going for the totm again since there won't be enough time to complete the task, yet since there's nothing else to do and maybe it's no coincidence I have another dream here, decide to go ahead anyways.

There's a part that's open to the yard like a garage with lots of tables and all the family & friends DCs walking around and being super loud. I try to summon a cup again, this time one appears on the table where I'm standing. Also, in the distant end of the garage is another table with two large tea pots. I bring the cup over there, but it fills up with sugar as I examine the items on the table. I guess that's enough for a tea party and decide not to mess with the stuff anymore. The light in the garage gradually goes down - this is also the end of the garage, near the wall. The DCs make their way around the table, taking part of the tea party. I need the rabbit and without actively summoning it, notice that on one of seats around the table is actually sitting the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (1951), wearing the playing cards type of clothes. He is animated, which is strange, but I'm just happy about the summon and wonder what to do about the mad hatter. Again, unexpectedly as I look to my other side I see the mad hatter (1951). It takes me a bit to actually realize that I'm looking at the mad hatter from the movie. What is even more interesting is that I get this very convincing memory that the clothes that he is wearing in the dream are the correct ones - and he is a wearing green! (later checked to find out that it's the right attire). The dream becomes extremly dark at this point with one last effort I make all the DCs repeat with me the poem-like thing I prepared for this event :

"Lucid dreaming,
what's the meaning
something's flying in the sky,
awesome feeling
rabbits speaking
why, Ophelia, why?"

The dream is gone and I end up with a short session of SP (being unable to move, while feeling my physical body, seeing only darkness). I wait it out, thinking I must have been on my back (slightly to the right but yes) and start telling myself about the dream.

DEILD: I expect to wake up, but involuntarily deild back instead. My mental continuity is messed up and during this part I shortly believe that I haven't left the dream at all. I examine the mad hatter character residue who turns into normal DC. I go outside and wonder what to do as there still might be some dream time, briefly question if it was ok to do another task, where I think about going for toty. I decide to go ahead. Some background DCs and me are in the yard now. There's a small black hound-like dog running around that distracts me and I try to ignore it as much as possible, while thinking about the beanstalk. I see some sort of bean-like seeds on the ground and take them, looking for a good place to plant them. I open my palm and see them undergoing many changes - all sorts of colors and shapes and try to make them a particular sort of beans again. After some struggle they look like dark red beans and I place them on the steps where there is a lot of muddy soil and cover them with it. One stone's hanging above and I think it will mess up how they grow, because of my thoughts. Anyways, I start to think about them growing and they grow into small shoots. The dream fades.

Note to self: All of the actively summoned objects were shiftier than the rest of the dream (cup, rabbit, js, beans)

A summary of a few mostly uneventful short lds, possibly the result of pre bed work. This was inspired by CL's success in Jan and his following bed time lds, combined with my need to skip some wbtbs.

Date: 23 Feb

Pre bed: 500 mg Omega3, 200mg val

LD: In a classroom and teacher scolds me about blocking the way. I start a speech about classmates, realizing it's a dream. I briefly have a conversation with my teacher who says something cool about time I can't recall. I contemplate leaving the room, the dream ends.

Second? ld where I become lucid in class!

LD: Initial setting - birthday party with friends and relatives. The front changes to deep water, I'm standing at the edge, my awareness goes up, I caress a dophin, where it emits some positive emotion. I become fully aware and go around exploring the street (this actually felt like a somewhat longer dream but blacked out and recall is messed up). I run into gradma's DC on the street which leaves me surprised as I didn't have the vaguest thought about her in that moment. Dream fades


Date: 26 Feb

Pre bed: 50 mg B6, overall vivid dreams

LD: In a friend's place, awareness gradually increases, I explore the building, then climb back in, changing the windows so that there's always something to hold on to as usual with dream climbing. I go to this friend's toilet where I lose lucidity.

LD: I'm busy following a trail of Brazilian Olympics miniature toys on the street and into a building. After going through a number of rooms collecting items, I enter into a new room and become lucid, start telling the DCs that this is a dream. A moment later they become very blurry and out of focus, the dream ends.

It's been quite a while, since I've updated here, so there we go.

Date: 13 Feb

Pre bed: 3 mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a non-ld at my grandma's, then another one at an unidentified place that resembles our old place, where I'm trying to ld while family members are walking around.

Mini-LD: I have a short ld that feels like a dream from scratch where I suddenly find myself in this dream scene. I examine myself in the mirror. Memory gap.

LD:Now I am at our old place and remember to do breathing exercises. This goes on for a while until the dream collapses.

LD: I'm on the street now facing this mexican looking DC, he seems quite lively and says something that's in line with what I was thinking/saying. This leads me to initially believe that he's a smart DC. I start a conversation with him, asking him about stuff of interest.

As I talk to the DC, I start noticing that the background kind of flickers (the light in the entire scene), it gradually becomes thicker with this additional layer of light. In the meantime, it seems there is nothing to be learned from this DC as he keeps on coming up with random words.

I start paying less attention to him, continue expressing my thoughts and desires. I pay more attention to what's going on, don't analyze the situation, just witness and feel this energy. The dream layer of energy and light becomes brighter and more dense, it's like I can feel the entire field of dense energy that is over everything and there's a slight hue towards the very light blue to it. It's somewhat pleasant but I totally get the feel and worry that the dream might be coming to an end, while this is happening.

I then recall my restaurant task and look around. The street is rather deserted, just warehouses and no restaurant nearby. The energy effect gradually diminishes as I concentrate on my task. I get the feeling that it might be difficult to change things in this dream, it seems realistically stable when I look at the warehouses, but then get an idea to think about McD. I think about finding a McD around and sure enough, I see the familiar M (or something close to it) over one of the places at the warehouse.

It's closed though, I can see that it's empty and the lights are off. But no problem, I instinctively cover the place with my hand and think about it being open and working/full of people. I move my hand away and it is! I head in its direction, happy about the summon. There are large pictures of burgers all over. But wait, do I really want to eat McD in a dream? I continue inside the store, which feels like some part of mall now. There's this undetermined place that kind of looks like a supermarket section or a convenience store, whatever, it is adjusting to my thoughts/expectations as I come closer.

In the end as I reach the shelves, wondering what to pick up to eat, it becomes a sushi place. I examine the food, wondering what my subcon will come up with, trying not to influence it too much. There's delicious looking sushi with red caviar and also another box that I can't recall in detail. I grab those two and head towards the cashier. Here, I want to play around some more.

There are two female DCs working there and a number of DCs queueing to pay. I go to the counter and expect to be immediately served. They direct their attention towards me and take the boxes, giving me a slight look of discontent. I feel like I don't have any money with me, but instead of summoning them, I decide it will be more fun to pretend that I am paying and everything is fine. This is exactly what what I do - after the old Chinese lady tells me the price, I make a movement to hand her some invisible banknotes which she takes and gives me back a receipt and semi-existing sort of change (a coin or so). She also hurts me a bit with her finger nail and gives me a somewhat angry look (as if she knows what I'm doing). I take the stuff and get ready to leave but the dream fades and I find myself in bed. I briefly wait to resume, but it doesn't immediately happen, and possibly better for journaling.

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

Date: 06 Feb

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a number of short lds that I chain through the void. Summary

LD: In my old room, stabilize by touching furniture. Notice that lamps are on. Find a newspaper I try to read with difficulty for a while. The lamps go off, I become blind and then the dream blacks to the void. I stay there for a bit, waiting for the next dream.

LD: In a car, get out of the car, notice my reflection in the windows. Hair is the same, but it gets in my face, I make a ponytail. I want to change the scene, try splitting the space, I feel another place, but nothing visually changes. I get bored, allow myself to fall back. This yields a number of sensations as well as weightlessness. The dream fades to the void. I wait for the next scene.

LD: I find myself in a nice hotel lobby, bright flowers decorate the place. Some guest DCs, a monk at the distance catches my attention, I go to check it out. The monk is gone but a few DCs are paying their respect to a metal statue. I have some mischievous thoughts, but bow down instead. There are two more statues (not in service), metal turtles. The dream fades to black, I stay still for DEILD but it takes a while.

Review in head, feeling tired, I fall asleep.

DILD+: on and off lucidity, FA, in- dream wild and sexy time

DILD: I find myself in this familiar place and start looking at the plants near the windows, try some tk on them, but it doesn't work. I think maybe there's a reason for this. Then I turn to examine the room, everything looks kind of blurry and unstable. My attention is caught by those lamps - three lamps, I try to identify if they come from a memory or just random ones, it's like my vision almost splits in two and there is a fourth lamp, but I try to focus more and they're back to three. I mentally make a note of the bad quality, then go down the stairs. I immediately regret doing so, because I run into the B6 DC and she charges at me. At this moment, I become quite concerned that this might truly be some sort of evil entity just using her form to terrorize me. It's just too active, so lively in the eyes and so aggressive. I have no choice but to face her. I think I say a few words, but her mood remains the same. Then I decide this is a good opportunity to do my breathing and concentrate on that. I do this for a while. In the meantime, she seems to have changed her mind about attacking me and is weeping.

Memory gap, possibly another blackout.

DILD: On the street now and I see this empty space in the horizon and recall I wanted to use something like this to draw a mountain. A bit uncerain if the dream will last long enough, with all the blackouts and instability before. I decide to go ahead with the summoning, yet before I do any motions with my hands I notice that the space isn't quite empty. It looks like in the very distance, as if seeing through the fog is something that looks like a large mountain. As I keep staring at it, it becomes much clearer and closer, till I find myself looking at a solid spot of the mountain covered with grass. The surroundings have changed without me noticing and I am at the foot of this huge mountain. I cover the majority of it with snow until I feel it's enough for the task. Then I examine the slope, which is initially way too steep to enable any upward movements. This worries me but I move to a part of it and feeling very excited summon a pair of ski and ski poles.

I totally can't believe the summon worked as I have nothing to do with this sport. Anyways, I start gliding up the slope, which by then is less steeper. Contrary to my expectations from real life, this is not as hard and actually pretty pleasurable. I glide upwards the slope which goes up and down and it feels as if I am on a roller coaster. Then I reach the top of the mountain and feel adventurous, contemplate on jumping from the top or skiing down. Yet before I can decide what to do, the momentum carries me forward and I continue moving in the air. I notice that I feel no switch in sensations from gliding on the mountain surface to this weird air movement. My mood is great, I gaze to what's ahead and not below me. It is a beautiful view of green plains, with a weird building with one-two statues in the distance and a very large gray palace next to it.

At this time it clicks this could so well be the palace I wanted to summon (while reviewing tasks during wbtb). I'm still skeptic that will be able to make it and complete the entire task but give it a go. Don't remember flying for a long distance, it's like the palace became closer as I started to focus on the steps of the task. I go in what looks like museum palace lobby, there's some thematic furniture, long red carpet or velvet curtains, don't pay too much attention to them. I immediately think dad. That's actually quite easy and there he stands in one of the side corridors. I say a few words to him, to mentally confirm this is going the way it has to be. Then start looking for the beast but there is no one in sight.

The room I'm in is pretty small and there are stairs going down and I go to the lower floor, looking for the beast. I run into an old Chinese man that I try to make look scary but no matter how much effort I put into this, he stays the same. I obviously start making scary faces and roar in an attempt to distort his features into evil ones, but he looks scared as hell and is shivering. I can't believe my DC is afraid of me and where is that beast? A couple of DCs that I don't pay much attention to appear and there it is - a disgusting beast. It looks like one H. Bosch's animals - a mixture of different animals, like a large pink pig and echidna, strange fur and the nose of a mole. It also is spitting something poisonous from its month and hissing. I so much regret not being able to summon my much now friendly looking lion man at this point.

Disgusted, I approach the wild creature, tell him I love him (it) and kiss it near what looks like its mouth. I remain with my eyes closed and wait a bit, but can still feel this thing aggressively making breathing noises and moving around. I know the curse has to be broken but nothing happens, and I can't take the little bugger any more. It's somewhat smaller now - the size of a cat maybe and I throw it away where it gets under some furniture. That thing keeps making the sounds, but looks wounded and in the next moment I see that it gives existence to a DC that comes out from under the furniture. To my amusement, it is a female classmate. Good enough I suppose. The dream soon fades.