non-lucid

[sexual content]

I was walking along the street. Daytime. It felt like that area in Quiapo with the plaza. (Not Plaza Miranda) I was thinking of watching a play/movie because my crush plays in it. (Justin?) The play/movie is 50 Shades of Gray. (Interestingly, I don't plan to watch it.)

I thought of what it's about and then I was in the "movie." (It's probably not how it is. I don't know the plot.) I was a woman who has a child going to see the doctor in his house/mansion. ("Mr./Dr. Grey will see you now" probably got confused in my mind.) I think I couldn't pay the fee for the operation (for the child, I think), so I was suggested (not sure by who) to see the doctor to see if he could waive my fees, particularly the operation fees. The person I was talking to (not sure who) said he waived what he could, but he has no control over the doctor's fees. So I went to see him. The doctor is Matt Bomer (yay!). I think we talked about the fees but not directly about sex.

Somehow, I ended up in the shower area. The rooms were separated by walls that don't reach up to the ceiling. There was a naked guy there. I think I was still a woman. I was also naked. I sat on the toilet seat. After a while, the "doctor" arrived. He doesn't look like Matt Bomer this time (boo!) but he "felt" familiar. He looks Filipino. He's also naked. One of us asked if the other is a virgin (not sure who). It was a "duh" moment since I had a child. The doctor sat on me, which felt awkward since he seems bigger and more muscled than me. I ran my hands down his torso and down his crotch. His penis is so small that I could cup it in one hand. Maybe he just wasn't hard? I think the guy in the other shower room offered soap.

---

Notes:

- Well. 50 Shades keep popping up on my news feed.
- I think the guy that replaced Matt Bomer is one of the porn "stars" I've seen. Or maybe a local actor?
- Saw photos of the Quiapo area today because of the Chinese New Year festival.
- Slept on Dr. McGonigal's default mode meditation
- Alarm set at 6 hours and 16 minutes.

I was walking in a dark corridor. I was with two people. I think one was my sister and the other is "Bob." (lol)

We were looking at ancient civilization architecture/dioramas/etc., but the light seems too dark. Even when we turn on some light, it's still too dark. After we saw one area, I told them about another ancient civilization area on the hallway to my right. I was thinking it's even more ancient.

We went in and it's still dark. We went inside an "ancient" house, although it looked more like a house in the Philippines during the Spanish era. We were walking around and I can barely see anything. I heard the voice of a child, so I thought someone must be inside. I turned on the light on my phone while we were walking. I partially saw a torso and legs of a kid (boy, I think) lying down on a table to my left. He was moving a bit, like he was woken up. I was going to approach him, but the other two went up the stairs, seemingly in a hurry, while still not running. I followed after them. They jumped out of the window. I was going to go out but I just felt tired and I let my arms hang limp over the window as I watch them retreat to my right. The window is level to the ground even though we went upstairs.

I felt strange because I wanted to go out the window but I was tired. I felt something cold in the center of my back, and I somehow knew something isn't right. The child, it would seem, was a spirit, and I think the other two knew it so they hurried. However, it caught me before I was able to get out, and it possessed me.

I partially awakened IRL and I felt cold around my torso (even my back, though I was lying down) and around my arms, as if I was "glowing," but instead of warmth, it was cold. I became slightly worried at the possession but I got over it. (seems it was the fan and cold weather outside)

I was back in the dream and I was with five people (or were there four and I was the fifth?). They were supposed to be bad guys. They wore dark-colored clothing. I was looking at myself. "I" was a human-sized rabbit with five floating wooden rectangular tiles with a symbol on each, and those things were floating in front of me. One was right in front of my face. They're supposed to be "eyes." For some reason, I got the nickname "Five-Eyed Rabbit." It seems it's the spirit that possessed me.

We were going to fight my previous allies, and since I was possessed, I was on their side. The other bad guys were laughing about it. I think I was either not going to fight or have the rabbit control me. I complained out loud. I wanted to "have fun" as well, and I usually just get to watch the fight from a third-person perspective. They thought about it and let me fight.

Along the way, my "rabbit" form changed to a human-like form, but still with long rabbit ears. My body was dark and covered with tattoos. The five floating "eyes" were still there.

I can't remember much of the fight, but I found myself jumping up some "ancient" walls. I keep seeing walls, usually blank, and I was getting lucid. I finally reached the top of the wall, and I saw nothing but some light. It somehow symbolized awakening or enlightenment. I became some sort of holy man. I changed the other bad guys to good. It felt more like Avatar Aang somehow. From third-person view, I saw "me" as a monk-like person, shaven and wearing robes.

We were on a boat. It looks... light. Yellow, somehow, but not the drab yellow I usually see in my dreams. This one is bright yellow but doesn't hurt the eyes. It felt... Chinese, somehow. (Dragonboat? Chinese New Year?)

There were some bad guys in the boat but fortunately, they weren't able to escape. The bottom part of the boat where they were supposed to escape was sealed. I don't remember what they were there for.

In another area of the boat, we were talking about how to turn the wealth that's being accumulated to help the people. There's one guy there, not a monk like many present, who kept thinking of expanding. I suggested to keep cycling the income enough to pay the expenses and give the rest to... charity? The people? Improve people's lives? (unclear)

It was then that I shared I need to go soon. I need to go out and see the world (help more people?).

I was on a bus during daytime. I was with a friend or just an acquaintance (it keeps on changing during the bus ride). I went down, but then I was inside a jeep at night in Quiapo. I was thinking of going home. I looked at the shops outside. Then I saw that we were going through the underpass. I was supposed to go down before the jeep goes down the underpass. I told the driver to drop me off at the next corner. He asked what street. I just pointed at the closest one.

I went down but saw that it was not a street at all but an entrance to a fancy restaurant. I walked a bit further. I saw Lico (who I think was in the jeep with me) eating inside a restaurant. I talked a bit to him and then I moved on. I was walking along the street. It seems too narrow to be a street. Someone (mom?) warned me to be careful. I took my trusty pen from my right pocket and felt secure. I can face anything with it. (I draw.)



---

NOTES:

- I slept for 1.5 hours. Set alarm.
- I listened to meditation my McGonigal (default mode) before sleeping.
- No coffee, no medicine.
- I felt tired and dizzy.
- I woke up dizzy.

I was in some sort of building. Hotel or restaurant, not quite sure. I lost a lot of the dream when I woke up.

I was looking for the bathroom. I found one but was afraid that the place is dirty. Turned out it is. The toilet still has crap in it that the previous person didn't flush. It seems the flush does not work.

NOTES:

- Slept during the afternoon, no alarm
- Took phenylephrine because of the annoying sinusitis
- Kept waking up and falling asleep
- Went to sleep listening to meditation from default mode
- Watched "Trick" before sleeping so that might have affected the crap part

I was in some unknown place with some people who felt like family. A guy playing as a "troll" was supposed to be coming for us so we need to hide properly or climb high. There was a sense of fear but at the same time fun. The guy was wearing a mask of sort to signify the troll. In one instance, he was just standing there waiting while we look for ways to create a high but stable tower made of furniture. One was a table and sofa but with wheels so it's not stable. We tried going up after a few tries. I walked around, jumping from ledge to ledge, avoiding the troll.

I was staying with a woman on one of those high ledges. I was worried that somehow I'll lose consciousness and get drunk and have sex with her and then she will get pregnant. (That escalated quickly.) I thought of how I didn't want to be responsible for that and maybe she should get it aborted but worried that we have anti-abortion laws and that some people get really angry about abortion. (Worry and blowing things out of proportion are bad tendencies of mine.) I went out of the place.

I was up on the rooftop of a building after climbing it. I was with some people. It felt a like a continuation of the previous dream this morning where I was climbing a hill in the school. I was with some people who are supposed to be familiar to me but they're faces are not. Friends. While we were chatting about and some are arriving, the building moved, like it had wheels. It was a bus, and we were on the roof. I held on so I don't fall off and event went a bit farther into the center and away from the "rails" of the roof. Some are still sitting in a position that could get them to fall off if the bus makes a turn (due to momentum", so I told them to arrange themselves so they can hold on to something. They don't seem worried, and as we turned, they don't seem to be that much affected by momentum.

There were two guys in front of me who were talking. One of them felt familiar but not sure if he looks like someone I know (Emman); he's dark skinned. The other is fair skinned, and acts a bit childish. He's like a younger Baron Geisler. After a while, they were kissing. I was right behind them, and they were touching my knees. I got turned on and moved my torso closer. I tentatively approached and kissed Emman, wondering if he'll push me off or accept me. He kissed back lightly, but then I became aggressive, so he stopped me and said playfully "Whoa, whoa. Chill." Something like that.

We were walking down the beach at sunset and then night. It was dark. We played around, but no sex, at least not according to my dream. (Maybe it was censored?) I missed them along the process as I went to a different storyline in the dream. Something about jumping over vaults that looked like the blocks of a pyramid (Incan or Mayan, not Egyptian).

I went back to the "roof." I saw Chela there (really her looks this time). We talked a bit, then I heard/saw/felt Emman and Baron. I went to them and kissed them on the mouth casually, which they were fine with. They said something about looking for me. We went back to the "center" of the roof (surrounded by 6-feet walls but has door-like openings on all sides and with no roof). I saw Chela again and she showed me on her phone an app that showed a kiss mark (black background) and two people. I think it was supposed to represent the two guys I was with and that it showed I kissed them. She was playfully asking who they were. I was hesitant but not afraid as I quickly looked (with just my eyes) at the two guys to my left and they slowly retreated, cartoonishly. I didn't know if they're out (even though they kissed in public). I guess I kinda outed them when I looked at them retreating out of the walls. (The place looked like Intramuros).

Notes:

- Afternoon dream (Approx. 5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.)
- Took phenylephrine for the stuffy nose
- Set alarm, but I woke up before the alarm.
- That was weird. I feel that I am very monogamous but this dream with the polyamorous relationship seemed fun and silly, as if I didn't feel any weight while I was in it. I was never in a polyamorous relationship, and I usually say/think I never would be since I'm very selfish and don't want to share my partner (to be).
- I would have thought that I'd feel the same feeling of disgust and worry over the polyamorous relationship as I did with the thought of having sex with a female.

I was a spirit. Dead? I'm on the "other side." I was looking for someone. I saw accidents but they look more like a picture: still and unmoving.

I found a woman. I went back to the world of the living with her. We had to go through a "portal." It's not a whirling "hole" on the air though. It's like... a field, where everything is hazy, where the land of the living and the dead overlap. I saw the place where the woman will end up, in a camp in the middle of the woods. I thought of how it will be difficult for her to go back to her life since she's already about to be buried. While thinking this, I saw another woman, older than her, inside a tent. The older woman is stopping her from going back. I had to fight her. I used a spear. Eventually, she got torn apart, with her face on a paper/poster on the door (to our garage). I tore it a bit more before opening the door and going outside.

I was outside a mall. I looked for people I know. They're in the cinema. I went in. There was a talk. I saw Arfel and I talked to him. He looked sheepish for some reason. I went outside. I was in SM Megamall, right in front of EDSA. It's night.

I was in a dark corridor. A hospital? I felt afraid. I was becoming lucid but it's hard to maintain. I thought of a recently deceased person, a priest, and I saw an old man along the corridor. I think he was sitting down or standing by a door. He looked mild but I "rushed" (slowly) towards him and jumped-kicked. We both fell down. I lost lucidity.

I was in a school. USLS. I was walking down the corridors. I was looking for something. I was with a few people. They keep changing. I was looking for the library. I checked the map. There's one nearby, but then I had to go elsewhere.

I went up a small hill. I tried to slide through the roots of a tree but I got scared and went up the hill and walked down.

I was in my hometown, lying face down on the sofa in the living room of the house. The same place where I had an OBE of sorts before. It's cold and it's raining outside. Grey clouds. I was nude.

Outside the gate, I saw someone sitting with her back to the gate. There are some baskets with her. Fruits? Clothing? I called out, wondering if it's Sunshine or Blossom. She faced the gate and I saw it's Sunshine. I gave her instructions to go "up." I hurried to look for clothes and went out the door.

When I went out, I was in the hallway of a building. A hotel? Condo unit? I went to the elevators but worried I might miss her on her way up. I passed by some people who seem to be heading or waiting for a meeting. I saw Rex and said hi.

I was in a construction site. We needed permit of some sort. We were in a hurry.

We need to escape. There's a game.

I was in Metro Manila. I received a call/message that I'm supposed to go back to the province or that my family is going here. My father died. He was about to go to the Metro before he died, so they rescheduled his plane ticket, which was scheduled January. They moved it to February. (apparently, corpses can travel via plane as people) My father's side was going to meet us there. (not sure if "there" means the province or Metro)

I was on the phone. I was calling someone or receiving a call from someone. I heard a female voice. For some reason, I thought of Alona.

I was in the province, in our hometown. There's a parkour activity in our backyard. They were training but I was doing chores. I went inside, watched TV for a bit. When I went out, they were already cooling down with meditation.

--

NOTES:

- Set alarm at 4 hours and 44 minutes.
- I was seeing hypnagogic images, very realistic as if I was really "seeing" something in front of me, not just imagining.
- I slept around 4 a.m.

(The dream is a "Mix." I don't know where it started and where it ended.)

I was in a forest-like area where there are people gathering. It turned out to be a gathering of humanoid birds. They look very human except that they have feathers and wings.

I was watching a guy (who looks like Nara Shikamaru) and a short... bird-doll-like person hiding. Shikamaru had to hide under a.. horse? He put on a wing-like object behind him so he won't be seen. He blended nicely. The other person became a female humanoid bird. The (real) humanoid birds (or birdlike humans) were male.

The (real) humanoid birds spread out in a circle and missed them, then they started moving counter-clockwise with their eyes closed. Shika and the other person thought it's safe to walk away now, but somehow, one of the bird-people bumped into the female bird-person. The male bird-person kissed her (eyes closed?). Female-bird person probably thought it was Shika and kissed back (eyes closed?) and then realized it wasn't. The resulting commotion brought the rest of the bird-people's attention and they opened their eyes.

Somehow, the two were just knocked out and thrown somewhere. I watched them dumped near a broken bridge (or else the bridge is still being built). It was starting to rain, so the head of the bird-people left them some cover. The "female bird-person" is now the doll-like creature again. I guess it's an ability.

It turned out that they were doing a mating ritual, where a group of bird-people (all male?) go out in a faraway area and form the circle we saw, moving slowly at first and then flying away in a bigger and bigger circle (eyes closed). I don't know when but when they finally open their eyes, the first person (other race?) they saw will be their mate. On the other hand, the two idiots were there for revenge against the race. In a battle where the bird-people were involved, one of the doll-person's friends was killed. I don't know how.

Next thing I know I was watching them walk on the bridge. It was a bridge for a super highway. It looks unfinished rather than ruined. I think they're still just building it. They walked and jumped over gaps while talking about a naive boy who died. He's a friend of theirs. He died young. One of them said maybe it's for the better. With his naive mindset, he would have died anyway. The other one said he would have been there to protect him. I thought of a gift.

I was under one of the super-highway bridges. There was water down there. I think I was on a motorboat, but I wasn't the one driving. I was just directing it somehow. I thought of making a game but that I don't have the system for it, especially if I want to make 3-D games. The surrounding area looked like some place in EDSA (the part between Guadalupe and Taft, at least), but instead of the EDSA Avenue, there were water everywhere. The buildings are still there though.

I directed the boat to a huge gate that opened. I thought of confronting a dragon. I was then inside a "dungeon" or a dungeon-like area: small corridor, small entryways, like in the old first-person D&D computer games. Someone was with me. Gerard (from PKPH). He suddenly bumped into the entryway of the dragon's hoard and he's inside. He shot flames towards us. The "door" was wooden and so I said it wouldn't hold for long. I jumped back and towards the edge of the "balcony." I hung on there so I can avoid the explosion of the door and the flames. Below that, there's an old arena of sorts, like where gladiators fight. Gerard was still up there, thinking the door would hold. It didn't. When the door was about to blown to bits, he jumped down and landed on the arena floor. I climbed down instead. I couldn't yet jump from a higher place and land safely.

The dragon flew down on us. It has a smaller body compared to its head. Its skin was dried-lava red. The body size was human like, the wings were wide, and the head probably the length of its body. It's "young." We disoriented it (I think) by moving around. Finally, I thought somehow that it has just... 20 HP? Other PKPH peeps were there. We ganged up on the dragon. We held onto its limbs and huge head. I bit down on its arm/leg. Finally, somebody used a sword to slit its throat, its blood splashing. I caught the splashing blood on my mouth. Nobody else wanted to. This was a human cursed to become a dragon, not a real dragon. Drinking its blood meant carrying his curse. It meant I was going to turn into a dragon. I was already starting to feel the flame inside me and the others pointed out that I might "explode" after seeing the inside of my mouth light up from the flame.

There was a part in the dream where I was playing something like a tic-tac-toe or a board game, except it looked like a fractal-floor-board game. Players jumped from "boxes" drawn on the floor. There were enemies, goblin-like creatures. Water area.



(photo of New Bay Bridge)

---

NOTES:

- No, I wasn't lucid.
- It's an afternoon. 3-6 p.m.
- I went to sleep after drinking paracetamol coz I wasn't feeling well.
- I thought of putting up an alarm but decided against it because it might distract me from remembering my dream.
- Kinda sad that the next dragon I dreamed of was an enemy. At least this time I was going to become a dragon.

I was in a mall with mom. I was trying out the perfumes. I put one on on my wrist and tried to smell it but can't. I asked mom to smell it and tell me what she thinks. It was too strong. I asked the guy in the perfume area to let me try another one. I put it on the back of my hand and tried to smell it again: nothing. I let mom smell it, and she said it's "okay" but nothing special. Those were original perfumes, too. I told her for some reason, I can't smell them. Must be my cold. We left the area without buying anything.

We passed by a table that lets people sign up for colleges abroad. I forgot which colleges, but I thought of signing up. I thought that mom might not allow me to study abroad.

NOTE:

- I very rarely dream about perfumes.
- I tried focusing on my breathing as I fell asleep, hoping it will help me transition to lucid dreaming.
- This dream happened as I was waking up already. I woke up a few times in the evening and failed to write my dreams.

In the dream, I was experimenting with visions I was in a dark room. There was a "crew" of people helping out in the experiment. I supposedly saw a vision of me being raped on a sofa in a room. It was near the window. There was a curtain, but the sunlight comes in.

I was in a room. The kitchen. I was eating some food. We'll have an online meeting at work. Mom is nearby. She'll also have a meeting.

I saw a few more Animorph books. It was about Rachel. It was the story right after they fought David, I think, which was from her perspective. This one is still her perspective.

I was in a parkour gathering. There were Q&A's but I didn't ask anything. It was in a forest. Some were planning to go to the mountain or sea.

I was in Sulu with other people, avoiding shots from guns in order to visit a beautiful place near the sea.

I took a jeep to the mall. Or did I miss the jeep? It's lunchtime so I'm hoping the library/bookstore is empty of people. I went inside. I saw that Jollibee is closed. I was next to the escalator.

I was on the second floor or something. It was a school building and everything is dark. There are zombies. There are also sadistic humans who capture others to torture or feed to zombies. I watched the masked human attack a zombie and a captured human. I slipped away silently. I went to the ground floor. I saw a room with the lights on. It was night. I had a voice in my head that asked what choice should I take, like in a video game.

I decided to go to the light.

I went inside and saw a boy and a girl, either teenagers or young adults. They're siblings. They seem nonchalant, as if they're not worried of zombies or sadistic humans roaming around. I somehow knew they had another person out in the grounds. I kinda showed them I'm no threat and they seem to accept me, but the other guy who went in is not so sure about me. He looks rugged, and he has a shotgun. He asked me if I have useful information. I told them some stuff (can't remember) and he said they're too generic. He told me to go out and find some useful information.

I was out in the night on the field. Some light. I saw one zombie and stayed out of its way. Then I saw the boy... fighting? Or is he leading the zombie away? Then I turned back and saw that there's a zombie slowly approaching me. I jumped over the fence.

It's morning, or at least daytime. I was looking at a beat-up van. The setting looks... suburban-western. The trio are going to the big city or something. I asked where exactly we can find gas. I had a car but it ran out of gas. Somehow, I ended up joining them in their van. I saw a scene of me taking the bus and mom saying bye, as if I'm just going to the city for a visit and there's no zombie apocalypse.

I was watching a 2-D scene of "us" running from left to right of my vision, cartoonish. We jumped on a bus that's on a boat. Then we jumped over to the pier. The other person needed help being pulled up. I thought of arm training for pushing up the wall and saw Ivan F stretching his arms.

The name "Prama Pradhami" or something

A curse between two lesbians.
A candle. It's too late. One or two of them has/have to go to the sea to meet the sea god.
Ice floats on the sea.
Going to a restaurant via a car from the seaport. Can we fit in the car?

I was trying to avoid a calamity. Is it inside or outside of the condominium?

NOTES:

Woke up and fell asleep a few times. I tried to write what little I can remember.

I was in a room. It was dark. I watched a guy hunt for pokeballs. I went next. I went under the table and chairs, but it was too dark I couldn't see. Then I wondered, why am I hunting for pokeballs in the dark? I remembered I went to sleep because of the blackout. I became partially awake, but not completely. I was just aware I had my eyes open but can't see anything. I can vaguely see the window and curtains but it was hazy. Maybe it was just my imagination and I was still in a dream. I was a bit scared because I might have vision problem. I closed my eyes, hoping I'll be aware in my next dream.

In my dream, I was in a mall. I was looking for something or someone. I can't remember the rest clearly, but I wasn't aware.