StephL

Maybe something more shows up - but rather not - I´ll put a number in anyway..
Didn´t dictate - didn´t sleep well - was a bit under the weather..

1.) Fragment:

I sit in a laboratory with three guys all in white-coats, and there was an experiment going on, about brain-chemistry.
And they didn´t know about LD - and I started telling them - one was not impressed - but I tried to motivate the other two to do an experiment like that one, we did - but with lucidity - in rats - ah well.

First Dream:

I saw a rabbit sitting in a meadow - a fat one - not the wild ones - like they are held as pets.
It somehow looked sinister - it looked into my eyes and something was wrong.
In the fur appeared (yes - I had noted it not being there before) a piece of paper with handwriting.
And it said, once I had touched the paper and such the rabbit - it would be my curse.
And it was - I didn´t get rid of it - not possible to lock it in somewhere - not even to lock me in somewhere - he always came through and needed to be fed a lot - which was not a nice sight, more like a vulture in eating style. Also it kept looking at me nastily.
When I plotted with a friend, how to kill it - it got aggressive and started biting and being toxic.
We managed somehow, though - to get rid of it - only for me to then have the same problem, just in much bigger with an enormous black dog - sheep-size.
Similar story - but end of the dream was - dog locked in in a car - me feeling safe for a while (why ever - they always broke out..).


WBTB after 6 hours of sleep - in my sleeping position on my stomach WILD try.
This time really concentrating on my mantras and not falling asleep in no time like last stomach try.
Eventually I gave up and rolled to the other side - fell asleep.
Had one of the in the house of this friend´s parents dream - much less nervy than usual.
Actually with a weird twist - I had looked at photos from ages ago, that he made irl, when I finished school.
And I accused him of having made great copies on photo-paper for my friends - and I was supposed to get them later - being "family" - with me it was okay to not be ready, when he said so..
That´s even true - still don´t have them..
And lo and behold - his mother was on my side.

Maybe that was so unusual - don´t know - did a RC - looking at hands and counting fingers - sure enough they got more and more with the counting.
Dream very unstable - and I forgot to stabilize or think of my goals..
Woke up - and was again, which is nice - able to DEILD right back in.

Not much good it did me - again only RC - and I actually must have forgotten something.
Because I had a reason, to want up a tree - and can´t remember it.
There was a leaf-tree close - with thin branches with leafs in my reach.
What I did think was - lucid - I should have the strength to just grab up and up and go up that tree like an ape.
Nope - the last scene was me hanging maybe 1 meter over the ground, having my arms slung around a bunch of branches.

First Fragment:

I was on the forum - first just normally - later it was like a multi-skype with people having animated talking avatars. Waking Nomad had a project, which was very important to him - and he somehow travelled the pages - there were more and more pages - like he went for a walk to try and convince people to take part in it. But it wasn´t his real remote-viewing experiment but something other.
Unfortunately I only remember this as a bunch of mini-fragments/pictures.
But he changed from his avatar to the picture of him, I had seen on here.
Saying - he "walked" over the pages - that does not really describe it properly - these pages had weird properties - I am not clear enough in my memory to describe it better.


Second Fragment:

I was on holiday with my husband at a beach and playing shuttlecock - and I remember to want to convince him, to put a shirt on - because he had a pretty bad sunburn on his shoulders.
But he wouldn´t - saying he doesn´t feel anything.


First Dream:

I am at a darts-competition to play an important match, for which I had been practising for for ages - and was quite good.
When it was about to start - my darts were gone.
I went around to look, if somebody can lend me theirs - after having searched all over the place.
There was audience - like in the huge championships - and they were booing and getting impatient..
Finally I got three darts - but all different shape and weight.
For some reason this made me decide to not throw all at treble 20 for scoring - but one there, one treble 19 and one treble 18.
First throw - hit them all.
Other guy - 180.
Next I couldn´t throw them - all out of the scoring area..
Guy hits next 180 - I am throwing some crap - but so does he, and somehow I ended up winning the leg - and that was then suddenly all there was to the match.
Weirdest thing - I had to give these darts back and searched for the owners to do this - didn´t find any owners - and then didn´t find the place, where I would have gotten the trophy.
Woke up before I found any of this..

Dream:

I was sick in some way in the dream as well - like upon waking up.
Especially I was not able to talk - true, couldn´t almost any more after two phone-calls.
But in some way - this was a reason not to go to our old house, where my mother lived.

I wanted to get a book, which in the dream I had read twice before, and wasn´t sure, if it was worth working through once more. It was in that house.
I wanted to then maybe read it somewhere else - at a friend´s place.
Trying to evade my mother.

But in the end, I climbed in over the balcony - she was there, petting an enormous, lovely dog.
Was no problem, that I sneaked in - talked with her - and took the book with me.
Didn´t get to read it, though.

Again - old house went unnoticed - even "decorated" with my mother.


Fragment:

With this friend from the last dream - I was going out in the evening - all dressed up - and we went into the bar of a famous, huge hotel.
Watching the ongoings and talking about people - both looking for somebody worth taking up contact with - no such luck.

There is so much to write - I will do it in chunks over the day.
Even more than the below - but I leave it at a dream and a fragment - forgot what I had dictated.

An earlier dream:
I was in a lecture on dream-content and real life connections.
It was possible to watch other persons dreams - also my own ones.
But in the end it was about a supposedly very famous case of - on the one hand mental disorder - on the other hand manifesting things from his dreams in the real world.
Funny, now I got to think about Mylynes tutorial..
But he calls it hallucination - in my dream it was manifestation.

An earlier fragment:
Sitting with a friend of mine in a café she knows the owner of and eating lots of delicious cakes with cream.
There is a beautiful girl next table over - but somehow we know, her boyfriend will not come - leave her like that altogether - and we talked about that.


The dream:
I did a WBTB after 7+ hours of falling asleep - trying WILD a la Sageous.
Almost worked - at one point I felt myself slipping in some weird bodily way and saw maybe 10 light-points on the back of my eye-lids - and that startled me awake.
Aha!
Got to tell Sageous - fell into the trap he so much tries people to warn of..
Naja - after it was clear I was too awake - also with frustration - I rolled over and slept.

The following dream had me - luckily! - at that house of my first boyfriend´s parents again.
The usual business - if you want to look for the non-lucid part of it - just read back some nights - and you get the picture.
I came to hate these weird dreams lately.
This time the thought popped into my mind - like hm - I dream of this sometimes.
Then it almost went like my last posted miss in the "most stupid way.." - I "concluded" - but it must be real - I am here after all!

This time I RCed anyway.
I had lucids, where it was obvious from the onset - but this again was one, where I did about 5 RCs before believing it.
I keep suspecting that I cheat on the nose-plug - but the finger-counting seems very reliable.
Yepp - lucid!

I hovered a bit and looked at things - trying to change objects for the competition.
But it didn´t work at all - what I looked at fiercely - just got more detailed and clear and more beautiful - but didn´t change.
That was a bit frustrating - I also tried it on the younger brother - but that ended up otherwise.
No dream-sex as such, not even touching each other - but lets say - we were on about it on our owns.
But didn´t work completely - rather I felt excited for a while afterwards - sort of didn´t get rid of it.
Maybe I edit this out later - but why actually not write it.
What I keep out of here are rather conflicts or situations too close to my personality/real life concerns.

Naja - I made fun of everybody without feeling guilty (the mother, the brother, some visitor) - or maybe it is better to say - I made a joke out of myself with "outrageous behaviour".

Then I left the flat - I didn´t think of TOTMs the whole dream - but I did think about the comp.
Maybe because I didn´t manage that change-stuff - and this was the next and such only goal.
Outside I started flying about normally - and came down on the roof of an abandoned train-wagon.

Then it came to my mind to try flying superwoman style.
Took my right arm up and at a steep angle - well - and wasn´t prepared at all for what I "expected".
I shot up at that angle in an absolutely mind-boggling speed - in one blink - I was so high, I almost couldn´t discern features on the ground any more.
I believe I squealed and wailed and was absolutely terrified..
Even worse almost - having to decide and take that arm down and expecting not to fall - in less than a second - but I managed to float down.

I met a friend of mine then - in front of her door - we went up into her room, talked a bit - I forgot to tell her I was dreaming and see what she says - I just pretended to be normal.
When she left the room for some reason - I tried to change her jewellery on a shelf - again - stuff got more sparkly and intricate - but didn´t change.

After quite a lot of effort - I thought - ah well - I do it with looking away and expecting sweets instead of a pendant - this worked!
It was chocolate with metallic-looking wrapping - I unwrapped it and ate it.
Even tasted like chocolate - but not very intensely - and again - it was a bit difficult to feel it in my mouth. Forgot counting eating for the comp..

I was again outside after that, from where I woke up - but I can´t remember any thing at the moment about what that was.

After 8 h WBTB - maybe 10 min. SSILD-activities - these made me tired and want to roll over.


First dream:
What resulted was a very vivid dream - started nicely with being hiking in the summer with a group of friends - we made a pause at a cottage to eat and drink something. But first I was missing my cigarettes - then also mobile phone and purse.

We suspected a woman, who had behaved weirdly and turned her eyes away when looked at.
So a friend of mine helped me nail her down - like managed against her will to look into her bag - and there the cigarettes were.
And I saw something, which looked like another purse of mine than the one, I was looking for.

I left it be - but later, considering the cell-phone - I wanted to catch up with her, to look again.
I knew at that point, that she lived in the same house where I lived - just one story below.
There was only her kid - telling me, his parents would be at the gynaecologist.

So I went there - confronted her - and against even physical hassling from her husband - I got my phone and purse back, and left the practice.
This was all in front of the other patients/their partners.

On returning home - the story had seemingly gone on without me - and the janitor of the house had called the police about it.
This husband would have been violent again and was shot dead - lying on a stretcher - with a law medical examiner - who by the way had made an x-ray (in our flat - wtf??) - he showed it to me - and again there was a fixateure interne in his spine (like in mine some dreams back).
This whole thing somehow lead to a general police alert all over the city - and throngs of police were holding a meeting in a big railway-station hall - really huge.

Second dream:
Like so often I was in search for a flat - and was with several other interested people looking at a weird longish flat with glass roof.
It looked like some train-department with 70s-style rounded windows rimmed in red etc.
But then the real-estate-guy took a remote control - and the roof folded away - so you could make the whole flat open to the sky.

Later I was test- sitting on a high-bench maybe 50 cm deep but around 4-5 meters up.
Now comes the mad part - I got lucid from the fact, that I was afraid of that height.
Even sitting there safe and all - I had such a visceral fear - and I couldn´t overcome it - looking at the side of that bench, and considering climbing down made me almost sick.

Now in real life - I have almost no fear of any heights - going rock-climbing in the mountains sometimes.

So - I went for nose-plug - questioning this reaction - yepp - I was able to breathe.
But like once before - I had the feeling, I might subconsciously be cheating - like not really holding the nose completely closed or whatever.

So I took my hands up to look - and again - they looked all right at first - just a bit blurry - but that didn´t convince me - when I started counting fingers, though - it seemed my hand was sprouting fingers as I went - they even bifurcated.
But somehow, I wasn´t as lucid as I used to be two weeks back with easy fearless flying.
I climbed down that thing..

Unfortunately - I didn´t first change something or somebody - but did basic summoning then.
My comp tasks are first object/DC change - and then summoning.
I was sitting on the ground - and expecting somebody coming round the corner.
Instantly something dark moved about there - but I willed a guy to come around because I was in a certain mood ..ähämmm.
He did come around the corner - was naked and inspiring - but we didn´t touch.
Mixing stuff up - I stupidly first asked for a present - and got a cat-reaction (when I asked a cat last month, what she was thankful for - she looked disdainfully and stalked off).
He shook his head and went back around that corner.

I woke up shortly - and right back into a lucid dream - so DEILD.

Third dream:
I was standing outside at the border of a meadow with many trees.
And I had to RC several times again - not high lucidity, but high realism.
After that - I had nicely stabilized by hand rubbing and inspecting things closely.

So I thought - meanwhile pretty clearly - lets make that snowman.
I saw a birch or otherwise white-branched tree - and convinced myself of that being snow - and it snowing back there.
I think, I get the hang of that firmly expecting stuff.
Instantly it started snowing everywhere and strongly, and there was snow on the ground, which didn´t first have to pile up like last time.
This second time around was so much faster and better.
I am really surprised how much practice seems to really help with specific things.
So I knelt down - felt the snow very realistic again - and made a small ball - maybe 20 cm diameter only.
It didn´t really easily want to stick together, by the way.
And then the damnated real life doorbell rang!!

Now I get angry at this quite a bit - but I took it unusually mellow and didn´t rip anybody´s head off, when it happened.


Fragment one:
There was a physics experiment with a complicated installation and it was about, if my emotional state could influence the flow of electricity - and there was something, to make the flow visible.
And I could change that - what it read/showed.
But later it was found out, that I didn´t really change the flow - only what we all saw as a read-out.


Fragment two:
I was listening with a group to somebody recommending vacations, and what you could do there and there.
Strangely - it was also about lying in the sun - and the recommendation was to do sunbathing at a lake - but when at the sea - he said, one could then at least sun-bath in the forests close to the sea..??

Very late in bed and stone-tired - not motivated to WBTB or properly journal with my micro.
But what is nice, is that some parts and pieces show up in my mind on their own - will later try to squeeze out some more from my brain.

One dream:
Again (ffs!) I am at this house, I am never wanted at - of the parents of my first boyfriend.
But again - we were much older.
In this dream - there was a snippet, where I wanted to use the toilet, and it wasn´t locked - I even looked, if it showed red (it was such a door). It wasn´t - I opened the door a bit - and got it slammed back closed by the irate mother - assuming, I did that on purpose - and giving me a piece of her mind, so to speak.
These dreams are full of silly crap..
There never is much interaction with him - it is mainly conflicts with his parents - esp. the mother.
And in each dream of the five I have on here now - every time, I "did something wrong" - and got expelled more or less nicely - actually every time it is something new I did wrong.
This time - again winter, again x-mas time - I was there for visit - but when then the big family walk after food was being walked - I asked my ex, what would be the problem - why she would be so hostile.
And he said, it is because she disapproves of me having an affair with him, while he also has a girlfriend.
This was true then - even when I am pretty sure, it wasn´t before we went out - just "a friend" back then I believe.

A fragment:
I took a walk through a forest with very dark trees - without leaves - but many branches being a bit meandering - even contorted. I was walking on a high pass - I could look down a rather steep decline to the right through the trees - and next to that decline started agricultural fields with some sort of grain being grown there.
But maybe 4 meters broad stretch with trees between me and that decline.
It was dark from all the branches in that place I was in - and below it was "daylight".

I went to bed late - woke up only 2 h later - and had no recall - didn´t try very hard.
Seven hours after falling asleep - I did my WBTB.
Reading through my workbooks - I found out, that the successful tries were all rather late - misleading, that I had put alarms earlier - but did the actual attempts later.
Good that I kept book with this.

I remember two dreams from before, one older fragment - and the dream, that made me lucid.
Again I had given up on WILD - with RC this time - not a FA - rolled over and fell asleep.

That dream was again situated at my old school - but I was grown up - like my friends - and we were organizing an exhibition of what we were doing now - it later changed into mainly an art/handicraft/invention show.
I was going outside on the school yard - and noticed, that I was naked - two attractive young beaus close - after a short shame reaction and flight reflex - I suddenly realized that noo way I would be naked there!!

Copy-Paste from TOTM:

Originally Posted by StephL

Soo happy - 7 days nothing - and now I even managed a task!
Also the "harder" basic one.



Bit weird - I had be-mantra-ed and visualized and so on - my most frequent dream-signs in the day - and also put intent on all but that task.
What made me lucid, was ironically one of my dream-signs, which I hadn´t worked on: being naked in public.
I thought - noo way would I be naked here - bam!

Was obvious - needed no RCing - buut: I did the hand-looking again - and first I thought - wow - they are perfect from the get-go - no need for staring them sharp - but when I counted fingers - I had one more on the right hand!
Now I´m not sure, if it was because I expected it or not - but it was an interesting sight.

And then - an attractive guy, who was standing there with a friend - came up to me - hugged me, lifted me and started swirling me around.
That´s when I closed my eyes - spontaneously - and remembered the task - and kept them closed and counted.
All the while being hugged and swirled, which felt wonderful.
And when I opened them - he put me down - and there was still the dream - so I guess it counts - even if I woke up maybe only some seconds afterwards..?
This eye-closing can be great, if you have something to feel!!


Soo happy, it started working again!!

Earlier Dream 1:

Again a journey with a bus (not that I would have ever done a lot of these - in school/in my youth latest).
Me and a group of maybe ten more people were staying at hotel, which was almost empty - and had for some reason two staircases next to each other - some weird spatial relations - can´t really it picture any more - only a bit.
We had been staying there - but in far apart rooms - and most of these rooms didn´t even have furniture besides a mattress and some junk - but there was a breakfast room, where we met up - all a bit over plush and baroque-style there - lots of velvet and diamond-knurling (looked it up..).
When the bus was about to depart - I had to use the toilet super-urgently - and hunted through this building for a facility. Finally decided on an unorthodox one - and got caught of course.
But I managed to keep her from telling somebody else and making stress.
Then of course - the bus was gone - but I found it after some back and forth around the corner.
And we departed - home actually it was to.

Earlier Dream 2:

I had to lead a discussion and brainstorming group - and nobody wanted to contribute - and it was not on me, to do it myself.
So I thought, how I could lure them out.
I tried to plant some ideas, but making them think, they would be theirs - and be in the mood to follow them.
This worked quite nicely - until one woman stood up and kicked up a general fuss - accusing me of this - and making it sound as if I would brain-wash people.
But then she got going, and came up with tons of ideas of the sort, that was useful.
The others only looked on - and me and her ended up in agreement.
So sad, I forgot, what it was about.

Earlier Fragment:

Doing removals again - this time not from free choice and after my will - but I had to.
Needing to find a new job.
It was stress and I felt, it was my fault how it came to pass.

I had my usual Friday with a lot of darts-throwing and jolliness - later somebody came along with a bottle of very fine whiskey - lets say, I found my bed around 3 or 4 in the morning.
I didn´t even seriously expect myself to do journalling - and I didn´t dictate anything.
Getting up - I thought I had exactly zip and zero recall.

But interestingly - I can drag something up now!
I sat down with eyes closed - and really probed into the void - checking on associations with my dream-signs.

What happened were pictures coming up - and with a lot of concentration and visualisation - small scenes to go with them, too.


First Fragment:

I am on the terrace of our old house - it has altogether 4 poles going up on the front - to support the front of the balcony.
All balcony-railing and these poles and also a lot of the space between them are entwined by climbing plants.
Much more than it used to be in real life - and instead of wild wine grapes - it was a plant with violet trumpet-blossoms - maybe 15 cm long.
I asked my grandmother, what it was - and she said, that every so and so many years - the wild wine would sprout these, and that one could eat them, and that they would be delicious.
For some reason I didn´t try one out - or I can´t remember it..


Second Fragment:

From the same dream, I think, but it was winter - and I was searching for the fir-tree, which had been planted for me the year I was born (irl).
But the house and garden were not there - and I checked some fir-trees around, and decided, mine was one, that was standing just outside a fence to another garden - towards the street.
And was maybe 6 m tall.
It could actually be that big, I guess, if it still existed.


Third Fragment:

From another dream - I was in an empty flat with big windows - in the company of that Swiss friend, I dreamt about the night before.
And we could see a high-rise-building from there - it had a core, and around it a glass front, through which we could watch the ongoings.
Between glass front and core was a ramp, which was not a staircase - it had some small rooms as well - but it clearly was the means to go up and down in the building.

Actually - very much like Sageous´ miniature with carousel - but without carousel and without so much colour - all chrome and glass and the people we watched were all in dark business-like attire.

The really weird thing is, that I did not look into his thread - see my sig - before last night.
I had thought about this thread last night but without clicking it.
Okay - I knew some of the miniatures before - and there are several, which could have given me that inspiration - but this one I mentioned, I didn´t see before.

Also weird, that I only now remember it - and not instantly, when I saw that sculpture.
This is the third fragment, that comes back to me..


What is memorable?

The above is curious - my subconsciousness going about it´s business in interesting ways.
But I am sure, it is my dream-fragment - not a false memory - my picture and the scene, I was in while looking at it, is very clear - also different to the sculpture in many respects.


And - I am really surprised, that anything showed up!
Posting on my DILD workbook shortly before had me empty!

I usually only write, what I have dictated - plus some details, I remember while re-listening.
This intensive probing into dream-memory works much better, than expected.
Again - very cool to have the comp - I was missing out on something, not hunting consciously after buried dream-content!

Last night was the first competition 16 night - and I wasn´t even aware of it..

I had two awakenings, where I had more dream-content than I dictated - but I was too lazy to do that.
Maybe if I had known..

But on the last two awakenings - without noting time - I tried to WILD with WBTB.
Didn´t work - yet..
At least it was good for something!

The dream, I have in it´s entirety:
It started with a FA in our old house - one of my most persistent dream-signs - it is ripped down - one time (maybe twice - once years ago?) this made me lucid - to realize it.

Not now - I got up in my old bed there being frustrated that my SSILD had "failed" - as in me not patient enough - and getting up.
No RC - could hit myself.

A Swiss friend of mine was there as a visitor - which in the dream came as a surprise (yes - again no RC ..).
I wasn´t sure, if I was pleased with this fact - not having known about it.

First of all I decided, that he had somebody to breakfast with - my mother and grandmother - and he was amusing himself - so I went in the basement, in my old room from childhood - not the room I had when we moved back there in my youth.
And suddenly it was not okay, that I wanted to WILD there - something had to be repaired, and it was my grandma´s room - but I had been lying down already - staying awake.

So I got up - yepp - no RC..
Don´t know, if the day held anything - it was afternoon then and first didn´t like, that I couldn´t go out with some friend´s I had planned on meeting - because of the visitor.
But I ended up happy with the night - me and him were at a theatre - a friend of mine was playing a role - the play was by his supposed favourite author - he doesn´t exist, I think - forgot the name.

They and she - were great.
The stage had boxes in room-size stacked four by five - and different scenes in them.
No - music, I think..

Later we were home and talked about the author of the play and her.
It was around midnight by then - so supposedly one whole day.
But there was no story for in between the cusps.


One fragment:
I was doing dishes for a friend at their place. The thought crossed my mind, that the sink was to a normal sink, what an outhouse was to a toilet.
The outflow-net was very big - and under it was a drop and autumn leaves - not any nasty, actually.
A water fountain - a clean basin - and a view.
Anyway - I had been given cherry-drops (??) for disinfection to use.
That was it.


Another one:
I was about to move from Berlin to Bavaria - on my way driving a lorry - and I got a bit lost on the roads.
Somehow I came to call my mother - and she started arguing, that I shouldn´t have decided to do the removals myself lala ..


I count three points:
WBTB, Fail: 1
1 Whole Dream: 1
2 Fragments: 1


Some conclusions and goals:
be able to recognize the most frequent of my dream-signs
always RC and dictate, when I wake up
be more confident in my WILD tries - if I get into FA - why not into lucidity next..
do more daytime work - decide, which


TOTM-Competition-Combinations:
"synch up" with imJD - put on it´s feet team Taurus with him

build a snowman from real snow, decorate and animate it (Object/DC Change)

ask a DC for a present and note the reaction - but before get the DC by Basic Summoning - round corner/behind something

at least start transforming into an Arctic wolf (Partial Transformation) to then maybe camouflage in the snow, sneak up on unsuspecting prey - and - rip it apart and eat it (start eating it seems okay..) - try tasting something.

My mother is haunting me - actually those dreams were among the rare dreams I was able to sometimes remember in their entirety, before starting journalling on here.
Again - I spare you - nasty stuff anyway almost always..

Our old house again - but somebody rented the bungalow, which was next to it and also ours.
My grandmother suspected this man of having buried a dead body in the garden - but there was none in the end.
But I used to have - I think several - dreams, where there was one.
Buried by me and my grandmother - only her, only me - don´t know what that is all about.

In this dream there was also a tooth scene - which is supposedly quite common - can´t remember having had any before.
One was missing - and the two front teeth moved apart from each other - and there was a gap I hated the looks of. But there is something real-life connected - some tooth got inflammation around the roots - after a mistake of another dentist - so it needs to be repaired with a pivot tooth - that was quite recently..

Another scene, which is very vividly there is me and my boyfriend putting shale-shingles into my window from the outside to fill and "insulate" it.
That making no sense - we could have just as well closed the whole window with bricks.
But somehow, a bit of air circulation and not darkening the room completely was important for some reason.


Another dream had me at school - I had missed some lessons about something really complicated - maths in a way - or physics - lots of equations making no sense to me.
A friend of mine did help me catch up at home - and I had done a lot of work - and actually started understanding the matter.
I had written some several pages of equations and some text - and I wanted to show this to an angry teacher getting at me, for having missed the whole topic.

When I took out my notes and he went through them - he came across two or three pornographic drawing of my boyfriend.
I never tried myself at portraits - and esp. not of such ones in real life by the way..
He totally flipped out and shouted at me - thinking, I had mixed these in on purpose.
Then a pack of cigarettes fell out of my school-bag, and I had a hell of a stress, to get it back without him seeing it.
That at least worked out - but he was in a flying rage anyway.

And - curiously I have a new dream-sign - somebody singing!!
Me again with my normal voice - but I forgot what, when, why and the melody, too.

A little bit better recall last night.

There was one classical mother dream - I spare you.
Again containing our old house - and my grandmother.

Once more that theme of being in some way or other in that other house, where I used to get thrown out and lately leave on my own - but always something different is a reason for a bad consciousness towards these parents - me having done something wrong - twice with other people involved with me and my mischief..
Funnily - again there was music in my dream - this time the father of the house started singing some historical x-mas hymns..

Also again a bus ride/journey.
Boring stuff with forgetting things in the bus. Searching for money, seemingly going lost all the time..

Later stopping at a bakery for cake - and it ends up a butcher´s shop but with lots of books on how to do butchery and a talkative butcher..
I got my cake anyway from him.


Later were again derelict houses present - and me wondering, if one could squat in them or find something interesting.

One thing I feel I got from the menthol-thread - having rose-shoots and inventing some system to fast-grow them in maybe 40 cm diameter and 1.5 m high glass tubes - and these were full with plants and soil - and especially long mushrooms - and the roses liked that and made their way up the tubes.

This I proudly presented to my grandmother.

Quite grumpy with myself.
The alarm was set on 5 am - I woke up half an hour before - and neither did I journal - nor get up.
I have a marvellous ability to not hear an alarm, when I just slept a little bit before it goes off.

But I know this - and I also have to deal with it, if I need to get up for work.
Actually - I used to have a really monstrous alarm-clock - but it disappeared with my last removals.
The new monster will not be enough for work - good test, sort of.

So - dream-recall gone from there - to make it worse yet - I got again ripped out of sleep later by angry doorbell-ringings - my husband had forgotten something on the way to work and was too lazy to search for his keys - well - seems they were somewhere, where they don´t belong..
He didn´t like my reaction.
Me neither in hind-sight.

But there is something interesting anyway:

One dream had me going shopping for clothes - funny - this also comes up time and again.
But it´s been a long time, I actually went out and bought something new to wear - or even went "window-shopping".
Maybe I should ..

Anyways - I was there - and there was also a very nice and attractive woman - maybe in her 50s.
I didn´t like myself in anything - mainly because I had some skin blemishes - bit of acne, like I had it in my teens.
But I was my current age of almost 40.
So - she started rummaging for a make-up.
Found it - told me to sit down and close my eyes - and I received a wonderful face-massage with this application procedure.
It was very sensual - and after some meaningful looks back and forth - she took me back home to her, after her shift was over.
I was watching the ongoings until that - enjoying the "show" of other women coming in and out of cubicles with ever new interesting outfits - always keeping and eye on her, and she back.

Suffice to say - we took this quite a lot further - and it was a very, very pleasing dream.

Since this is also a first as far as I know - I shortly thought - maybe it is a sort of residue again - being a bit disappointed with my self about having had a male body two nights back and not exploring it or using it in "specific ways".
But maybe not.
Got gender experimentation on the plate this week it seems.
Oh well - I like it!

Again a DILD - this time without any prep at all - went to bed when the morning wasn´t even early any more again.
And this time - the realization came from one of my most persistent dream-signs: the house, I grew up in, and which is not standing anymore.
This time, I realized this, when I was there once more - but again - without WBTB and earnest WILD activities - it was low lucidity and only a short episode - ending not in waking up, but dreaming on non-lucidly.

So - definitively I will go for the extensive preparations next couple of nights - wondering, if I might not go into upper league of the competition after all.
If I get somewhere control-wise and have a longer LD then - I will.
Well - at least, if I get a TOTM done, I will.

This short LD had me almost without day-time-memory again - so I went exploring the surroundings a bit by flying about - and that was it.


The following dream is in my memory to a greater extent, than I will write it out here - since there were some weird censoring worthy things going on as well.

Too lazy now to put it all down - just the memorable bit for now:

I sat at a table - it was supposedly Christmas eve - but I was there with a friend of mine - having a festive dinner.

There was a bit of back and forth with what to wear - and since it was summer at the same time as x-mas - I had opted for a neon-yellow bathing-suit as my top under some blazer - to later go swimming in the lake.

Then along came a guy, I know from school with a friend - and started out making fun of that - how that would be totally out of fashion, neon-yellow, and how otherwise he would have maybe found me attractive..

I felt totally un-embarrassed - rather a bit superior to his fixation on such an unimportant detail - and started teasing him.
Drew him in more and more and sort of hypnotized him with doing some this and that.
He started singing - and me back - like a cheesy musical - but then - it came:

We switched perspective - I saw myself in that outfit singing at newly male me - and once I sang back - him/me had suddenly a full force opera-tenor voice.
He had only sung normally before.

So I blasted the place with this amazing voice of mine - but after the duet - or within it - I changed back into myself.
Oh yeah - and I wasn´t interested in the guy any more then, but had an interesting conversation with my friend at that table.

With all the bad to non-existent dream-recall over the last years - maybe I often was male - but not to my knowledge - this was a first for me as far as I am aware of it.
Not being lucid - of course I didn´t explore the new possibilities for making the dream even more censor-worthy - shame that..

So last night - I didn´t plan a WILD up front - I slept from early morning to afternoon today.
But when I woke up quite nice and naturally - I thought, why not go back to sleep with SSILD.
I did and I had a dream - but only after one more awakening and some mantras came the dream, where there was a bit of lucidity.
Not at all like 2 nights back - where I fell asleep and instantly was fully lucid at such a point.

I was dreaming of meeting a frustrated woman, who got abandoned by her taxi-driver on a little road going through woods and little valleys - vaguely like one I know, which does not get anywhere bigger for a while.
There was a guy, telling her, this would be typical - the driver would have seen, that he would have to drive back all this way for free, if he took her to that far-off place she wanted to.

There had been a huge storm before and I saw one enormous tree lying right over the road, on which I looked a bit from above in the same road.

So - I saw a tree from a weird perspective - and this told me somehow, that I can make huge leaps.
Which I did - towards it - and by that moment came the realization, that what I do is quite like flying in a dream.
But my instant first judgement was - naa - this must be reality!
But I looked at my hands - they were a bit out of focus - but had 5 fingers and the thumb didn´t go through.
But anyway - the leaping and bounding did register and I did then know it was a dream, even if I had no real grasp of it.
So I went on looking at my hands and testing their impenetrability - but what resulted was me hovering somewhere and loosing sight - almost completely.
Not being equipped this time with a comparably good daytime-memory - I did not try to otherwise systematically stabilize - what I did towards the end was shout "more lucidity" when the visuals were almost completely gone.
They were perfectly vivid and beautiful when I started wondering if it was a dream.
I think, I lost lucidity without waking up and continued this dream - not 100% sure, though.

So - the full-on WILD activities do incubate me with a great level of lucidity from the onset of DILD - while this one instance was a real DILD - and not a glorious one at that.


I wonder one thing - maybe the auto-hover mechanism is easier to throw up for my inner simulation-centre than feeling the soles of my feet with every step..?

I will edit in a bit more ND later - but nothing really note-worthy concerning there.

Except a non-lucid present - and many recurring themes - having to clear out of a flat with renovating packing up and sorting stuff.
Looking for a new place - and in this case I was with a friend out and about Berlin - looking for a place to squat.
It was summer, and there was a place, which supposedly I knew about in that dream - a ruin, with some structures still quite intact.
So we came there - somebody had put up a big rake in the smallish access to that spot - we circumvented it - and there was this place - and further on a little bridge, with a guy behaving like some sort of guard - but my friend went to him, and convinced him, that it was okay, I take over the place.

But to make it more complicated concerning sorting out and removals - once I had some of my things over - the ex-squatter of the place re-appeard.
A guy I know in real live, and who did really squat in several ruins in Berlin some years ago.
And then it was him demanding his stuff back - which then was suddenly there - and all mixed up - his, mine, rubbish - almost no light and space and some hick-hack as well.

But I asked him for a present - having incubated this activity with mantras and visualization for the TOTM.
And he gave me a beautiful soap-stone sculpture.

It was shaped like a slice of a melon with almost all fruit-flesh eaten away as a base.
Like if you had a ball, and would draw two circles on it with the maximum radius the ball allows for - they intersect and result in 4 such slices then.
Inlaid into the base was a little depression for a small soap-stone-ball to hover and rotate freely in.
And in this ball, a light was set in - and you could set the direction of lightning with slightly turning it.

Whatever - I liked it a lot and thanked him.


Another dream had me win a contest to get invited to take part in a huge stage production.
But somehow, I was too late and witnessed, how another girl (I was around 20 maybe..) got dressed and made up for the show.
I hurried up and arrived there with a friend - and we talked the guy, with whom the plans had been made in the first place, into taking in both of us. Which was nice.
But there was some animated argumentation involved - and this other girl was almost in tears upon seeing me arrive.