Suena

T had bought about 3 dvds that had strange looking cats on the cover of them.
I also made him kill a yellow hornet.

Smoked quite a bit of weed before bed, so I have no illusions about why I woke up not remembering much of my dream.

I remember being in a subway I think and this guy was asking me how to he was supposed to do his job. I told him and then I said that he should know his job and that I was just a customer.

I was with a friend when I realized I had to be in class in 30 minutes so I started heading that way....

There was a storm at one point.... my subconscious is really trying to get me.

All fragments of the same dream...

Playing video games with my sister at my moms.
Someone broke into my jeep (I actually have a neon) and they tore the leather seats off and I was very pissed off cause it was only a block away from my house. I regretted leaving it there aloud.
Little kids were playing on the street and I talked to one of them, they were amusing me.
Some lady has this lair where she kept people she wanted to kill and I was in it but just touring, I guess. I hated it so much, it was very gruesome, people were stuck in these bath tubs and being held dow by these machine spider things while a saw hovered over them ready to chop them to pieces....

oh oh oh, there was a storm at one point but I think my mother distracted me from noticing this.
Annnnd, mom's been in my dreams a lot lately...

Yay, I thought I had forgotten the dream by the time I got off work, then it all just rushed back in after an hour and a half being home. =D

I was living with my mother again and we had some family over, aunts and cousins. I realized that I had to work and got ready. I forgot my ipod the first time and went and got it. When I came back out it had started raining, but it was incredibly windy too. I had troubles getting into my car and was trying not to blow away. My mom had been watching me from the door. I remember falling and sliding under the car at one point. I got in the car finally and realized I forgot my wallet. So I got back out to go get it and my mom met me at the door, and she was angry about something. She was yelling at me and I told her that we'd talk later because I was going to be late for work, but then she told me that I had to quit and kept yelling. I stayed home and was thinking about what I was going to say to my boss, thinking at least I could blame it on my mother, then I realized that I was 20 and didn't have to put up with this. I wandered around the house for a moment with my family and then I realized that I could move out. I didn't know where I was going to go but I thought I could find a better place than with my mom. I even thought about moving in with T, but thought about how I'd have to live with him and his parents. I decided I'd figure it out later. I started getting all my stuff and gathering it up, then searching for boxes. I left my stuff in one place for a moment to find a box and when I returned my cousin had put it all back, as if to say I couldn't leave. Last thing I remember was crying hard, laying on my bed.

What I'm talking about isn't a dream I had. It's an entry from my daily journal that, I guess, I really want to share. I didn't want to make it a thread, because it sort of is like a dream. I dream that one day we may understand eachother. I hope it makes sense, because really that is the point. It's actually something I shouldn't have to feel upset about. I feel it's like common sense, but that isn't alway so common either.So, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear some opinions, otherwise, enjoy my rant.

Quite honestly, I don't think I want to marry someone who doesn't understand, not for lack of the ability, but just because this person does not want to understand anything. Obviously, this person doesn't know how to communicate or what it is, maybe. How can you communicate with someone without understanding? You can't. They both need each other to exist. Someone explains something, whether it be knowledge or feelings, and the other person, first, acknowledges what that person has to say, then trys to understand, empathize, sympathize with those ideas and this leads to understanding. Why wouldn't one try to relate to another? Especially someone that is close to that person. I know that there are exceptions. That there are things that aren't worth understanding, and things that are impossible to understand, and things that aren't meant to be understood. But isn't it human nature to try, at least. Maybe it's not important to some people. Okay, I get that. But maybe they just don't know how important it is to be able to communicate and relate to others. Without communication, where would we be? Probably some place much darker and just worse than it already is. Everything starts with communication.

Okay, took a nap and dreamed quite vividly about the zombie apocalypse. And the whole time I felt like it was a movie.

It started out where I was going to a friend's barbecue, indoors. I get there and my friend isn't there yet. I waited a long time, and the dream was so long, I don't remember what I was doing. He did leave me a letter and I remember stuffing them in this book. I start getting anxious about my friend getting there because in the dream I realized that I really liked him. His letter will be C. It happens to be a guy I work with, anyway. C never shows up, but some kind of show is playing, that he finished just for me. I realize that he only finished it because I told him I wanted to see the rest. I felt realy happy when I heard this. So, he still hadn't showed up and I really couldn't wait to see him. In the back of my mind, I know I'm married the whole time.

So, I look outside to find a bunch of people with weapons and they're yelling and shooting. I go out to find out that there are zombies everywhere. I run around and ask for a gun or something so I can help and defend myself. They hand me a green laser. Which has absolutely no effect on the zombies. One guy had just been bitten and they were telling me to kill him, so I aim the laser at his head and it was red at first then turned green, the guy walked up to me and held my hand that had the laser in it, helping me shoot him. Then he turns around and starts walking towards the zombies. They kept telling me to point it at his head. It was really hard, but I realized most of the zombies coming through the windows were paraplegic... they were crawling on their top halfs (like Nazi Zombies.) So I realize I have time, I accidently shoot someone who is not a zombie with my laser. They start to shoot at me and I duck. I start running with all these people. I'm still thinking about my friend and wondering if he's a zombie.

Then we all find this building and go inside to take the children inside. I realize my son is in there, and the people were leaving all the babies in a room. I stayed, because I wanted to protect them if something happened. Some girl comes and finds me and I go outside to find my husband, he's talking to these people and I feel like it's really important, so I stand off to the side. He's saying something about a video released by the government and I sit down next to him to watch. I'm holding the book with the letters in it from C, and my husband notices this and playfully starts to pull them out to read. I hold on to it tight and laugh and say Ill tell him about it later and that I still had some writing to do. He keeps trying anyway so I hand him tickets and what not. Finally I give him it, letting him in on what's going on. That's when C walks up and trys to hold my hand and take me away. Then he realizes that I hadn't told my husband yet. He's upset, and I tell him that I was just going to hand my husband this ID to show him when C takes it and puts it in his back pocket. He tells me that he sees how it is and I get angry and pull the id out of his back pocket, shove it at T, and just walk away from them both.

Then I'm with a bunch of people in cars, some guy is saying that when they had the evacuation they shouldn't have used the roads with all the trees. Someone agreed with him and as we're driving out of town we noticed a lot of incoming cars. I ask why they're coming here and that we should all stick together. The cars are tiny though, they were like, bumper cars, or those cars you ride through wacky shacks, they were all on some line. I run ahead to see what's coming, and I can hear zombies. I run back and tell them we gotta split, so everyone starts jumping on these stick like things that hover and they started flying off on some circut. I hurry and grab one and start flying through these tunnels with all these people. The thing I'm hovering on looks like, can't think of the name at the moment, the thing the grim reaper has. It was a lot of fun.

Then I start walking through this building that we found safe, it has strange hallways that curve inward like a spiral. Me and this girl are walking through and she's angry with me for some reason, so I ask her what's wrong as we're walking, but she wont' say. We're looking for zombies around every corner. When we get to the center, I see this little railing that goes up to the ceiling, like a ramp. I go up it to see if I'd find something interesting. I found a strange contraption on the wall, and there was something that fit into place. I told her that this was it, this was the answer. Then in my mind I was thinking that the government came up with this movie and that it was supposed to have a happy ending, unlike all other zombie movies. I dug in this dirt, not finding what it was that fit in place. Then these doors opened up from the room we were in and there were zombies out in this hallway, but they weren't trying to kill us. They all looked green and kind of reminded me of the guy from Tales of the Crypt, the skeleton dude. Anyway, the all had suitcases and they were yelling and point inside, telling us to give them all of our stuff. They were just material oriented zombies I guess. I made myself wake up... Felt semi lucid.

Can't remember at what point I did this, but I remember asking someone if this was really happening, and they said yes, yes it was. I still didn't believe him, so I tried forcing my eyes open and I got them open, they felt glued shut, but I got them open, but I was still in the dream. I wasn't lucid though.

Anyway, I missed a bunch I'm sure, this dream felt like it lasted the whole two hours I was asleep.

Dream from last night:

I was with my friend M and she and I were going to some movie. She took the wrong turn tho on the highway. I remember telling her to take 235 north, not Topeka highway, which I don't think exists lol. But she took Topeka, then we found ourselves in this little villiage of hobos and we're living in a hut, but we're 14 again (which was around the time we used to hang out) and we had run away from home. Eventually I went home in the dream.

Yeaaaa.... crazy dreams.

4/15/11

I went to work and realized I wasn't scheduled that day because I had asked off, so I was going to leave but my manager said he needed a few things from walmart, flour and some kind of cooking oil and something else. I volunteer to go and I start walking to walmart from my job. On the way there, as I'm walking through some baseball diamond, a car starts to follow me. It is an old man and he's checking me out. I get disgusted and he calls out to me. I approached the car, call him a perv and tell him to fuck off.

Then I'm at walmart and walking around, I run into Q, a girl I used to go to school with and work with, and at first we just walk by eachother, but I turn around and jokingly hand her a huge purse that has a bunch of little purses in it, and I ask her if she needs one. She seemed a bit serious, but not rude, and then a couple people came up beside her and somehow I got the impression that they were only in my town for some college event.

Anyway, I go back to my work and realize I completely forgot the items my boss wanted. I try to sneak out without him seeing me and go back to walmart, but he finds me. He just laughs it off and I get ready to go back heading to my car this time. My car is parked in a driveway that sort of sat up on a hill. There's a jeep parked behind me, a car in front of me and another car behind the jeep. As I'm trying to wriggle out, I bump the jeep behind me and it starts to fall off the side, somehow I get out of my car quickly and grab the jeep before it falls. Some people saw me do this from below.

Then another fragment, I think was still the same dream. These two guys are talking to me and one of them is some sort of professional swimmer. The other one is telling me that the swimmer needs help practicing and someone to swim with him. The idea of swimming seems really fun so I tell him I'd totally do it. Then he tells me that they want to go to the ocean, and I change my mind, telling them I don't swim in the ocean.

Next thing I remember is being at my house, in my kitchen, with T and my son in the living room. I'm feeling indecisive about going to the Led Zeppelin Experience with my friend. (Which is what I was planning on doing the next day in WL, it was an alright concert...) I let too much time pass and am late to heading to the concert, my friend calls me and I tell her that I'm not coming, she's upset.

Then this guy I used to work with is making my son some baby food. He hands me a bowl with mini potatoes and sour cream. The potatoes were like cereal size, like those little cookie cereals, only potatoes. I remember thinking it was cute.

I did become lucid at one point in this dream, but quickly lost it. I think it was when I was sitting in the kitchen, at the end of my counter. I could see T in one eye and saw something like a cup hovering in my vision in the other eye. I told T that I was stuck in between reality and a dream.

4/16/11

T's mom drunk dials me and starts talking gibberish. Then T calls me from his work cause he's bored and talks to me for like 15 minutes, and I remember thinking that he should probably get back to work.

Then me and T are on a bed and there's this computer scene to our right that has an image of a sky and then it turns into a window and we're upon a hill looking out over a beautiful scene of a lake and sky and I just remember looking at it and feeling so good. T also enjoyed it in the dream. Felt happy...

Okay, tried to take a nap again today with my son. The reverse blinking is working for me, I'm not even sure if I'm doing it the way that was suggested. What happend to me was well for one, it made my eyes feel tired and heavy, which helped me focus on laying still. I've noticed that if I lay still ,without moving, for at least 5 minutes, I will start to feel pinpricks and just strange sensations of something crawling on me. If I don't react to these and sit through them, I slowly feel my body falling asleep and start to get the imagery.

I had another vision but I think it was starting to become a dream. It was of T and it was as if he had already come home from work and was talking to me about something very excitedly. I know I wasn't fully asleep because, like before (2 or 3 entries ago,) I could still hear the hum of my air purifier and the TV. But I had a mental image of T talking to me.

I think I'm on to something that works for me. =) Very excited.

I don't remember all of the dream, mostly this part just flashed into my mind today, thankfully, wish it had been more though.

We were in our house, me and my husband. I had realized that we had forgotten to feed and water our dog, a little chihuahua. It had only been a day that I had forgotten, then I noticed this large crate and found my other dog, the malamute. He looked as if he had been starved and he was very pissed off at us, particularly me. I tried to feed him and soothe and comfot him, I felt like shit. But when I let him out of the crate he just walked out with this sad and angry expression on his doggy face. He also looked very old.

(I've had both these types of dogs in my past, but we don't own any animals at the moment.)
Crazyness.

I really wonder what the hell this dream means...

I remember something to do with Pacman.

Then, I was drawing clouds on a building wall, in some kind of classroom. I was really into it, pefecting the lines in between clouds and drawing clouds behind other clouds. I remember being really focused. When I was done, the picture I drew had turned into a girl hanging up christmas lights. I was showing it to a couple people next to me, I think one of them was A (an artist and friend in WL.) Anyway, I was proud of it and the people seemed to like it to.

Just a side note, maybe someone can answer this question. When I have dreams about doing things like this and being focused, I feel semi-lucid, not really aware that it's a dream, but just having more control. Is this called anything? Is it one of the levels of lucidity? Just curious, because in some dreams I seem to control myself more, just like I do in WL, and in other dreams I feel as if they're mostly consisting of thoughts and watching myself on autopilot.

Had a storm dream again. Whenever I dream about storms, they're very vivid, and I find they enter my dreams a lot. I really need to start using this as a dream sign, Hey, subconscious, did you get that? Okay, good.

It was me, T, and my son in this house that had two levels, but I'm not sure if it was a two story or if there was just sort of a loft like thing, but I was up there with my son. There was a window looking out on the storm, and the window covered the entire left wall. It was really pretty, I remember telling T he needed to come look at this. Also, the house we were in was sitting upon a hill overlooking the surrounding area, so it was very good view. In the distance, as I observed the storm, I could see tornado formations. I wasn't scared, like I usually am, I felt safe.

There was more to the dream, but this is all I can recall at the moment.

I know I dreamed last night, but everything vanished as usual here lately.

I did take a nap earlier and I was that special kind of tired where I could fall asleep instantly, but I didn't. I decided to try to LD.

My body was relaxed and I did some reverse blinking till I couldn't anymore. I kept my ears on the sounds around me, the air purifier which I thought was the fan in my half asleep state. I obtained this state for almost 40 minutes till my son made me get up. My body was asleep and my mind was awake, I could hear everything and if I had a little more time I would have LDed, instead, I had visions and one of them I was walking away from my parents with my baby in his carseat in my arms. I decided to cross this ditch that had a lot of hay grass in it, to get to my car. But when I got to the bottom of the ditch I realized I wasn't going to make it up the other side and my feet got caught in the hay. It was sort of dreamlike as in I could see it, but I was conscious of it being a vision because I could still hear everything else. Also, as I was falling asleep, I could feel my brain buzzing every now and then with a quick rush of an adrenaline-like feeling, I knew I was getting close, then I had that vision, then my son started crying and woke me up from this very relaxed state.

Just a fragment of a dream. I found a video camera in my house that I thought must've belonged to the people who lived here before us. On the camera there were videos of S, a former manager of mine. He was just goofing around with the camera and I was laughing at it. T was sort of mad at me for laughing at it, not mad, but he just didn't think it was funny. (In WL we don't particularly like S.) S was like rolling around on the floor laughing and playing with his son and I remember thinking it was adorable.

I was on vacation somewhere with quite a few people. I think I was in Florida. I was going to go swimming with this guy I met. We were excited because we were going at night and it would just be us in the pool. Something distracted me while getting ready, but I eventually made it to the pool. I remember girls talking to me.

In another fragment, I was working at Hooters. I have a friend who works at Hooters, so this is probably where it came from. Anyway, I don't seem to remember much about this part, just that I was working there.

I woke up around noon and tried reverse blinking to try and LD, but I fell asleep and was with my family. My dad had his semi truck parked outside of the house and he had two other people with him. A young man and a young woman who worked with him. Dad had some kind of gauge hooked up to the inside of the house to his truck on the outside and I was messing with it. He told me it was an improvement and that the girl was checking it right now. I stopped messing with it so I wouldn't mess her up. She came inside and crouched down to look at something and everyone could see her crack hanging out of her pants. This part was strange to dream about. The younger dude just turned away sort of smiling, my dad, being the conservative man he is, giggled and turned to me and said, oh my gosh, her crack is hanging out. lol... So we all turned, I don't know. Anyway, my grandpa showed up, and he and my dad and the two people he lived with were leaving. They were traveling somewhere. They had luggage and everything and I told them I loved them and to have a safe trip.

My mom came up to me then and she had stuff packed too, she said, let's go to Florida. She had brought me some of my stuff, but I wanted to make sure I had all of it, so I asked her to hold on while I went back and checked to see if I had everything. She became really annoyed with me. As I was getting out of the car I yelled at her, not in a mean way, but I said we're going to florida and we're going to have fun so you stay put and Ill be right back. I felt semi-lucid when I said this. Anyway, she got pissed about it but she seemed like she was going to wait for me.

That's when T came in and woke me up, lol. Strange. I'm so glad I remembered as much as I did.

I stole this girl's phone and called her from it. A guy answered and I pretended to have the wrong number. I was walking into walmart. I ran into someone on the way in who I thought was her boyfriend, but he didn't know I had the phone. When we got to the doors he kicked me playfully, kind of to say, hey, I know you. I just shrugged him off as T came up to me with a bag of pictures he had developed. I was angry with him for a second for going through my pictures because it was an old camera and I had no idea what was on it. He just thought it was funny that I was mad.

I also sort of remember the dream before this, but it's still just not all there. We were in a trailer park, the world was gloomy looking, and something about T's dad.

After, there was this pretty asian woman who was crying looking in on this house. In the house, was her husband and she had just found out that he had cheated on her. He seemed to know she was out there, but couldn't see very well. She starts to walk in the house, being really quiet so she can sneak up on him. There's this tall white man behind her with a water bottle and he seems to be telling her what to do. She has this insane look in her eyes. Flash to her and the husband talking about it.

This isn't fair, I was drunk last night.