non-lucid

Lucid.

I guess you would call this WBTB. I was trying to call asleep consciously and it kind of worked, my husband almost interuppted me because he came out into the living room to get something, but he said something and I'm pretty sure it was real. I was in the middle of transitioning into a dream. He walked off and as he was walking down the hallway all I could see was darkness but I felt different, felt like I was hovering.

I knew it was the beginning but I couldn't get anything to really form, I did for a minute and I instantly started rubbing my hands together and I shouted clarity for the first time in a dream. It faded though, I don't understand this. I almost lost it and woke up but at the last second I decided to sit there and wait in the dark and that's when I was suddenly in my house. I can't remember much, but I got up from the couch and I think I said something to the dream, like be vivid, lol, since clarity hadn't worked. It seemed to work. I went to the door and turned the knob, it came open, much to my surprise and I shut it behind me as I stepped onto the porch. Then I jumped back like Spiderman to give myself a boost off the door and started to float, but I ended up grabbing onto my house and climbing on top. I knew the roof would only be hot if I let it, and for a second I was trying to feel it's warmth. I got up on the house and woke up. The whole time outside was very vivid and the sky was a dark yellow, but very vivid. The sky as I approached the roof was different somehow, I just don't remember why it was.

Ok, so after this lucid, I had a dream. Kind of a nightmare for me.

I can't remember every detail... but I was called into work at McDonalds, where I used to work while I was prego. I quit though and now I work at Wendys, anyways, I was working both jobs I guess, and this was my first day back at McDonalds. The manager was talking to me like she wanted me to come back for good, but I told her I could only work Thursdays and Fridays (The two days I don't work at Wendy's.) I had driven a moped to work, and I do remember doing this and leaving T at home, but when I got to work I wondered why I didn't just take the car. This is when some weirdness happened. I kept flashing back from being home to being online to being at work, all the while, having a huge fight with T because he wanted to sleep with other girls. I was very emotional in this dream.

There was a moment when I was at home and sitting on the couch scraping up a bowl of coke, cocaine. (I've never done this in RL.) T was talking while I was doing it, telling me he was going to this town and fuck some girl named Tex. He wasn't breaking up with me, he just wanted to fuck someone else. I was so pissed I picked up the bowl of coke and I had been putting baking soda in it, for some reason, anyways, I picked it up and slammed it right into his face. He couldn't believe it and I felt so bad, started apologizing, then I told him he needed to flush his eyes out with water, this worried him, he got up immediately to do this. We both went to the sink and were flushing our eyes with water.

After this, the girl showed up and was walking around and talking to T about all the things they were going to do together, while I was there. At many points, I told T I was leaving and he went into the bathroom and started throwing out my make-up. I followed him into the bathroom and not even a second after he'd walked in the entire bathroom sink was clean and glistening. I told him I WAS going to clean that eventually and he just scoffed.

There were these video tapes that this girl had brought with her, and she had rented them, hoping T and her would watch them together. I decided to hide them after debating on whether I should destroy them. I started hiding them around the house right before they walked in the door. They were talking about this place they were going to go. This is all I remember about this part.

Way on earlier in the dream, I was at my house, which was also a store called Third Planet (actually exists.) My friend J shows up to sell some clothes, he seemed hesitant when I answered, I was like come on in, and I finishing a cig. He comes in and sits down on the couch. Just then I see a mouse run from the closet door. I freak out and tell them and two of the guys that were hanging out, K was one of them, was going to kill it. I told him if he killed it I would beat his ass, told him to let him outside. He went over to the mouse and almost smashed it, but I stopped him and then he opened the closet door and there were three more mice, I started to scream. (Mice in real life don't scare me, Idk.)

Well, wish I could've remembered all my dreams from last night, but I just took this nap and this is all I could remember.
From last night, I keep getting deja vu though about the dream, just these feelings from it keep popping up like flashbacks and fading real quick before I get a glimpse of anything tangible I can actually write down. I just keep thinking about this Tall man.

I feel like a failure. Haven't been writing anything down and lose the dream by afternoon. I did go lay down for an hour earlier to practice getting my body into SP. I didn't get far, I think I had just fallen asleep and then I had a small dream.

I thought I was awake, because I was laying in my bed and my husband had just come in and put Mia, my sister's dog, in the bedroom and shut the door. I got up, because I wanted to know why Mia was here (I had just seen my sister and Mia yesterday.) I got up and let Mia out of the bedroom and went into the living room with her. I didn't see my husband, but everything was gone in the living room, like picked up. My first thought was wow, he's cleaning. I started thinking about Mia again and wondering if my sister had forgotten her here. Then I woke up in my bed about 5 minutes before my alarm would've went off.

Might have had the potential of becoming lucid if I hadn't woken up. I think I knew it was a dream but just woke up to make sure instead of doing an RC. >.<

Had several dreams last night but way too much going on to remember more than this.

There were a few people over at my house that I had never met before. One of the guys offered me a vial of LSD. It had weird floating blobs in it. He said I could trip for free and I told him I couldn't cause my kid was home. He said I didn't have to take much to trip and it wouldn't last as long. So I drank a bit of it and had some of the blobs in my mouth, I went ahead and chewed them up. Then he went and offered my husband some and he was going to take it. I told him he probably shouldn't just in case something happens with our son. He said he'd be fine and he took some too. I started tripping within half an hour apparently, at least that's what I exclaimed to a girl who wanted to take some. It kicked in fast, and I remember sitting on the couch, talking to two guys. It really felt as though I had taken acid, because the conversation was so simple and so funny. I just started giggling like crazy and I told them I had no idea what was going on right now, with the conversation. I started to see colors vibrate my vision and then they would disappear. My son was in his crib sleeping and I was staring at him when I realized I wasn't tripping anymore.

Just a fragment. There was a whole story to it. Slacking on my dream journal. =/

I have no idea what's up with the blobs...

I had incredibly vivid dreams last night, but I had to work so I only took a few notes and I know I'm missing part of it. =(

I was looking through an old composition notebook of mine and found sketches that were really amazing. One of them had a park bench sitting overlooking a river. The water was in such good detail that could almost see it flowing (should've done a RC.) It was in a sort of 3D style. I was amazed that I had drawn something so good. I was about to show someone when I realized that my friend, A, had used my notebook at one time. She's an artist, so I assumed she did them, which made more sense. I was a little disappointed.

The same dream, just later on. I was at a house I used to live in a long time ago, a doublewide, but it was where my home is now. I was talking to this girl when I realized that she was my new sister. We were standing in front of the bathroom mirror discussing make-up. She was pointing to the eyeshadows that were hers, then she said I could use them but just to ask. That's when I told her that I really liked the eyeshadow she got for me. She asked me which colors they were, and I started describing the same exact eyeshadow that I wear in waking life. I named off the colors, slowly as I tried to remember what they were. Purple, orange, yellow, and a maroon color. When I woke up I was surprised to have remembered something like this from my waking life. Was I semi-lucid, maybe? (BTW this is the part I was forgetting.) After the eyeshadow thing, it made me want to start getting ready for school. I looked at the clock and it was 12:55am. I was debating on whether I should sleep or stay up and do my make-up early.

Then I noticed that some people from my work were at the house. M is fighting with her boyfriend, K, and is being pretty aggressive. I tell them I need a bag of weed and he's going to help me. We go outside and he's still acting violent. He tells me that he has to go to R to get the pot and that I have to go with him. Before I could say ok, we're zooming off in his car towards this field that is next to my house. I'm not in the car, I'm like hanging on to the window or maybe in some kind of side seat, but totally not in the car. He's going way too fast to make the turn, I realized, and we drive straight into the field going at an incredibly high speed. I could feel the woosh and see everything in a blur. Then as he gets dangerously close to this house he starts to do a 180 in an insane wide turn. I'm so scared by this point and wake up before we make it. I remember thinking the car was going to flip.

I was preparing for a zombie apocalypse. I was going through my mind of everything we would need to have in the car. Then when I went to pick out the car, it was kind of like a video game because I clicked on the vehicle I wanted and it appeared, lol. Then I was at the bottom of these stairs, and I had been keeping the doors locked but the front door was open and I knew they were coming. I was yelling at my friend upstairs that time was up and we needed to split. She came down the stairs just as a couple zombies wandered in and started chasing us but the girl ended up knowing the one that was behind us and they started talking a minute... lol.

Can't remember much more detail than that. I do remember thinking that the zombies were health nuts.

I was with a friend and we were doing a lot of stuff, don't remember much, just know that she was in my dream. This was the beginning of a long and crazy dream.

T's mom calls us and tells us that T's father had just passed away. It took a little while for it to hit me. We went over to their house and were looking at stuff that reminded us of him. Finally it dawned on me, the reality of it and how much it hurt to lose such an amazing person. I just started bawling and curled up on the bed in my husband's arms.

Then I was parked outside of my house, but I was across the street and I had my son in the backseat. I was getting ready to get out and go inside when I noticed a strange looking object in the sky. It looked like the common symbol of a UFO only it had these little wings at the back that were straight, not pointed outwards. This part was very vivid. I watched if fly over our neighbors house and over us and it was hovering very close between mine and our neighbors house. I was expecting an abduction when I noticed a little door had opened up, all fancy looking, and it was glowing blue. Then it started to leave. I decided to do the same and was getting ready to start my car when I was grabbed by a robotic-crab-like-arm. I reacted immediately by breaking the arm off, never getting a good look at what exactly it was. I drove off to find someone I could tell.

I end up at a video store with T and am scared out of my mind. I tell him what happened as we walked through the game section. He told me there might be an explanation and just to look around and take my mind off of it. I start looking at these games on this table, assuming it was a clearance table. A kid, kind of chubby with a metal t-shirt on, approaches the table across from me. He's keeping his head down and trying to get a good look at me without my notice. But I did notice and I asked his name, he looked down at one of the games and quickly said "Black Ops." I called him a liar and started running towards T. The kid was following and he gave me a inhuman feeling. Then an older man joined him and they started chasing us through this library of games and what not. As we were running I noticed a bunch of men in black suits, they seemed to be helping us, but at the same time I was wondering if they were with them.

We go back to the house. As we're entering, we notice there's someone or something lying on the couch, they sounded injured and weak. T lays down on his back and starts to creep in backwards, I guess he was trying to sneak up on the thing. He starts to get really close and it was like all of a sudden he entered a high pressure area and water started coming out of his eyes. He moved back out of reach and had a very shocked expression. I told him that I had felt that when I saw the UFO earlier. Then the thing on the couch started moving again and it got up and I think it had changed it's form a little bit. It looked human-like except it had strange curvy ears stick out like an elf. I noticed that it looked really young, like a toddler. That's when T started saying something to it and it kept saying "Bay-bay." It started to walk towards me and I had my son in my arms. It acted like a toddler seeing a baby and it was reaching out its arms towards W. I almost let him touch him when I realized I didn't want it to hurt my son.

T acted like I was being rude and I told him I was just being safe. Then it was suddenly and older female, a short one. It got really close to my face and I noticed as it was speaking to me that it had one blue eye and one green eye. Huge round eyes. It was saying that she had heard I needed a peace and hope leader. Someone to guide me in those areas. It acted like it had been sent here to help me. I felt the love and caring nature of this being. Then I woke up.

Crazyyy dreams. Scared me a lot.

So, been a little distracted lately and haven't been focused on my dreams. I've been wanting to type up a very memorable dream I had about a year ago, so here it is.

I was in the ocean swimming towards land with a bunch of killer whales and dolphins. I was sort of riding with one of the whales but on his belly-side. I don't remember hanging on to him but it was kind of like he had his own gravity (not a fat joke, mr. whale guide.) Anyway, he and all the rest of the animals were splashing in and out of the water working towards land. He kept getting higher and higher out of the water and coming down even harder each time, sinking. I can recall being in the water looking to my right to see a line of dolphins doing the same thing. And when we were in the air I could see a city getting closer and closer. So I lost the whale once, he landed in the water and I sunk away from him and got scared thinking there were going to be sharks. Sure enough, a massive hammerhead appeared but he wasn't attacking me, he was leading me back to the whale. And the whale had waited for me. Then we continued on. What I felt in the dream, trying to figure out why they were doing this, I noticed the waves that they were making were going to wipe out the city, and that THAT was their intention.

When I woke up I started thinking about the song Aenima by Tool. Anyways, this was a non-lucid, but amazing.

Okay, can't remember my dreams. When I was little though, I used to have lots and lots of dreams of witches. Here are three I remember ranging from the ages of 5-10.

Castle Witch

I was laying in a double bed with my older sister. She was fast asleep, but I was staring at this huge poster of a castle that covered the entire wall. The door opened to the castle and out came this witch-like lady. I kept my eyes partially closed, in the dream, so she wouldn't know I was awake. She walked around the bed looking at me and my sister, I guess to make sure we were asleep. Then she touched this cat figurine laying on the bedside tabe. She left the bedroom and went to the kitchen. I got up and snuck after her. When I came out to the kitchen, she was sitting at a boothlike table with my two sisters. They were laughing with her and having fun, but I knew she had cast a spell. So I ran and got my parents and they seemed to think the lady was crazy too. That's it.

Dorito Witch

I was at my grandparents trailer house. I was running around with a bunch of cousins (like we did on the holidays) and we were all lining up to jump on my grandma's bed. The bathroom was at the very end of the hallway next to the bedroom. I was walking to go jump on the bed when I heard voices in the bathroom. I crept inside the bathroom and found a witch (hat and everything) and my dad. The witch was feeding my dad nacho cheese doritos, but not through his mouth. She had a little part of his back cut open and was stuffing them in. >.>

Male Witch

I was at my cousins house and we were running around playing outside. We started to run down to the cellar, the door flew open before we reached it. And inside I could see a lab with lots of green glowing test tubes. There was a man witch and the color of his skin was also green.

Just felt like sharing since I couldn't remember my dreams from last night. < 4hours of sleep =(

Went back to sleep and dreamt of my friend J. I was standing outside of my house and it was snowing and the snow was very pretty, very powdery and glistening. I said that this Christmas would be a good one. While I'm outside my friend J comes up to me and asks if we could hang out, I say yea, come in and smoke a bowl. He says he's not smoking at the moment, so I tell him to come in anyway and hang out. He says he'll be right back and walks off.

He comes back in a car with some strange guys dropping him off. He comes in and there's a few others there. There was this water bed thing on a different level of my house (doesn't really exist, live in a trailer) and the bed was on top and this tank that pumped water was on bottom and I noticed it was leaking. I thought I had fixed it but then all the water started to flow out, so I turned this knob and it stopped so I filled it back up with water.

C, from work, is there also, and he was saying some really funny stuff, cracking everyone up. J comes up to me and I notice he is sweating really bad, parts of his shirt were yellow, my mom asks if that's sweat or if we spilled water on him, he said he sweats a lot... So I offer to get him a shirt, and he's all for it. I tell him to come with me and he follows me into the bedroom.

I was happy to be alone with him, I don't know why. I start looking through T's shirts while talking to him, telling him I wasn't sure if T would mind or not. I give him one of my shirts that has some halloween pumpkin on it. He takes it gladly.

That's really all I can remember after going to work and coming back.

Of course, can't remember when it started, but I was sitting at home thinking about playing a game and it's late and T isn't back from a concert yet, I think. I'm a little angry for him going because he didn't ask and it was in KC, a 6 hour drive. When he does come back, I yell a bit and he ignores me, then I go to lay down on the couch. My mom tells me I should take my "birth control" pills? I told her there was no point, that we weren't going to do anything.

My mom had to drive somewhere to pick something up, she had diapers with her.

Then there's this girl who is in some kind of virtual reality game but she's there in front of us speaking, she's pregnant, she's someone I know in WL and she's talking about her being Eve. She said a really strange quote. My mom acts surprised about the quote and we see the girl holding a stump of wood which apparently was supposed to be Eve's head. So my dad gets up and goes to take it from her.

Then I'm with my friend A and we're going to some concert with this guys she knows. The guy was really cool, but we didn't know him very well. He had been trying to take my friend out apparently for a year, but this was the second time they were hanging out I guess. I remember walking around his house, once during the day, and once during the night.

We were all going somewhere walking through trailers and I see a set up with speakers all in the end of one trailer hooked up to a really nice stereo. It's bright and sunny outside and I notice they have speakers wired throughout the house, I say, wow, somebody was partying last night... A didn't understand what I meant, so I had to explain the speakers.

At one point, I was in the living room, some family at the table, and I was trying to show them T's green laser, but the laser wouldn't do what I wanted it to do, my grandpa was chillin in the living room.

- pretty vivid dreams last night, uinfortunately, there was so much that I am forgetting lots of parts. Oh well.

Can't remember dreams from last night. Nappp.

T's ex came over to our house and they were talking about something they didn't want me to hear. They were talking about a girl and I thought they were hiding something from me. I asked T to come into the bedroom and talk to me. He followed me into the bedroom and I asked what was going on. He gave me a pathetic smile and told me he needed to show me something. He takes his ring and it's in some sort of jewelry box and he points to it as if to say he chose me and I had nothing to worry about.

And just for fun. This is the earliest dream I can remember from when I was 4 years old.

I was at my grandparents house and I had this dream right around my 4th birthday. I was in a bunk bed, top bunk, and my grandparents were sleeping on the bottom. I'm up there with the skeleton guy on "Tales of the Crypt" I think that's what it's called... He's just up there talking to me.

Smoked quite a bit of weed before bed, so I have no illusions about why I woke up not remembering much of my dream.

I remember being in a subway I think and this guy was asking me how to he was supposed to do his job. I told him and then I said that he should know his job and that I was just a customer.

I was with a friend when I realized I had to be in class in 30 minutes so I started heading that way....

There was a storm at one point.... my subconscious is really trying to get me.

All fragments of the same dream...

Playing video games with my sister at my moms.
Someone broke into my jeep (I actually have a neon) and they tore the leather seats off and I was very pissed off cause it was only a block away from my house. I regretted leaving it there aloud.
Little kids were playing on the street and I talked to one of them, they were amusing me.
Some lady has this lair where she kept people she wanted to kill and I was in it but just touring, I guess. I hated it so much, it was very gruesome, people were stuck in these bath tubs and being held dow by these machine spider things while a saw hovered over them ready to chop them to pieces....

oh oh oh, there was a storm at one point but I think my mother distracted me from noticing this.
Annnnd, mom's been in my dreams a lot lately...

Yay, I thought I had forgotten the dream by the time I got off work, then it all just rushed back in after an hour and a half being home. =D

I was living with my mother again and we had some family over, aunts and cousins. I realized that I had to work and got ready. I forgot my ipod the first time and went and got it. When I came back out it had started raining, but it was incredibly windy too. I had troubles getting into my car and was trying not to blow away. My mom had been watching me from the door. I remember falling and sliding under the car at one point. I got in the car finally and realized I forgot my wallet. So I got back out to go get it and my mom met me at the door, and she was angry about something. She was yelling at me and I told her that we'd talk later because I was going to be late for work, but then she told me that I had to quit and kept yelling. I stayed home and was thinking about what I was going to say to my boss, thinking at least I could blame it on my mother, then I realized that I was 20 and didn't have to put up with this. I wandered around the house for a moment with my family and then I realized that I could move out. I didn't know where I was going to go but I thought I could find a better place than with my mom. I even thought about moving in with T, but thought about how I'd have to live with him and his parents. I decided I'd figure it out later. I started getting all my stuff and gathering it up, then searching for boxes. I left my stuff in one place for a moment to find a box and when I returned my cousin had put it all back, as if to say I couldn't leave. Last thing I remember was crying hard, laying on my bed.

4/15/11

I went to work and realized I wasn't scheduled that day because I had asked off, so I was going to leave but my manager said he needed a few things from walmart, flour and some kind of cooking oil and something else. I volunteer to go and I start walking to walmart from my job. On the way there, as I'm walking through some baseball diamond, a car starts to follow me. It is an old man and he's checking me out. I get disgusted and he calls out to me. I approached the car, call him a perv and tell him to fuck off.

Then I'm at walmart and walking around, I run into Q, a girl I used to go to school with and work with, and at first we just walk by eachother, but I turn around and jokingly hand her a huge purse that has a bunch of little purses in it, and I ask her if she needs one. She seemed a bit serious, but not rude, and then a couple people came up beside her and somehow I got the impression that they were only in my town for some college event.

Anyway, I go back to my work and realize I completely forgot the items my boss wanted. I try to sneak out without him seeing me and go back to walmart, but he finds me. He just laughs it off and I get ready to go back heading to my car this time. My car is parked in a driveway that sort of sat up on a hill. There's a jeep parked behind me, a car in front of me and another car behind the jeep. As I'm trying to wriggle out, I bump the jeep behind me and it starts to fall off the side, somehow I get out of my car quickly and grab the jeep before it falls. Some people saw me do this from below.

Then another fragment, I think was still the same dream. These two guys are talking to me and one of them is some sort of professional swimmer. The other one is telling me that the swimmer needs help practicing and someone to swim with him. The idea of swimming seems really fun so I tell him I'd totally do it. Then he tells me that they want to go to the ocean, and I change my mind, telling them I don't swim in the ocean.

Next thing I remember is being at my house, in my kitchen, with T and my son in the living room. I'm feeling indecisive about going to the Led Zeppelin Experience with my friend. (Which is what I was planning on doing the next day in WL, it was an alright concert...) I let too much time pass and am late to heading to the concert, my friend calls me and I tell her that I'm not coming, she's upset.

Then this guy I used to work with is making my son some baby food. He hands me a bowl with mini potatoes and sour cream. The potatoes were like cereal size, like those little cookie cereals, only potatoes. I remember thinking it was cute.

I did become lucid at one point in this dream, but quickly lost it. I think it was when I was sitting in the kitchen, at the end of my counter. I could see T in one eye and saw something like a cup hovering in my vision in the other eye. I told T that I was stuck in between reality and a dream.

4/16/11

T's mom drunk dials me and starts talking gibberish. Then T calls me from his work cause he's bored and talks to me for like 15 minutes, and I remember thinking that he should probably get back to work.

Then me and T are on a bed and there's this computer scene to our right that has an image of a sky and then it turns into a window and we're upon a hill looking out over a beautiful scene of a lake and sky and I just remember looking at it and feeling so good. T also enjoyed it in the dream. Felt happy...