* The Sandman's Dream Journal o/***

Lady Robber

I was with my first girlfriend. A young lady had been seen in her house to rob her. I ran through the house to catch her. I looked in a couple rooms and quickly found her.

I saw her crouched in a corner. I had sympathy for her. I asked why she did it. She said it was because she was fat. I was happy to be able to help her. I explained I am working on the perfect diet.

I then touched her silky, dark hair, then led her away. R saw me with her, and I felt a bit of a traitor, but as this was a dream, and I can't say that I was in fact a traitor.

I found myself in a pool with this young woman and a male friend. I accidentally held the woman by her vagina and quickly moved it to her leg.

I looked over at my male friend. I almost hit him with a friendly punch in the arm at my luck.

Lucid Scientist

A woman scientist was talking about a hairy ball. It was some kind of an animal, and more ovular, but there were no legs or head or anything. She ended up saying it was pork. Then she compared it to some kind of hairy stick. She went into some detail about the stick.

I'd been listening intently, but I somehow missed exactly what she said, but it sounded interesting, so I asked her what she'd just said. She didn't understand my question.

I asked her what she'd said about the stick. She looked dumbfounded. I posed my question very clearly, stating that she had just made a comparison between the ball of hair and the hairy stick, and I wondered what she had said about the stick. At this point, I became lucid.

I was going to ask her again, but realized that would be pointless, and I was so pissed at this stupid bitch, I decided to punch her in the face. I tried, but I couldn't move my arms. This is either because I was very tired, or simply very poor control. I have a theory that being very tired hurts dream control, though I have found this not to be true at all times. Just a thought.

I either woke up, or had a false awakening at this point. I think I woke up.

Lucid Make-out

A girl was on a bicycle. She wasn't a little girl, but she was younger than I am. Anyway, I started making out with her. She seemed into it. Eventually I tried to do more, but I woke up, again, possibly an FA.

At School

There were several projects hanging on a wall. One was lit. It had a crescent moon. The light turned off just as I looked at it. I was very interested and I liked the picture. I tried to see if the plug had come out, but there were easels in front of all the pictures, and some kind of wires between them. I tried to go around them all, but I had a coat on and couldn't squeeze through the easel on the end and the wall. I said never mind.

Then I was on the floor taking gloves off. I had 4 pairs of gloves on my left hand. Every time I pulled a glove off, there was another one underneath it. I thought that was very strange, and so did this other person who was watching me.

I organized the gloves. I had my driving gloves, I had my winter gloves, I had another pair of driving gloves which must have been a gift, and a single glove without a match.

Then a girl came in, gave me a muffin, and left. I was grateful and thanked her, though I was a little late. Then I tried to tell her I'd pay her back some time. Someone in the room was trying to sleep and she told me that I thanked her too many times.

Then I was trying to sleep. The portion of the room by the door had at least 4 medium to large parrots in cages. I thought I should be comfortable with them as I've had birds in my life. One looked like my old Blue Front Amazon, but I thought the birds were a bit excessive, and they were kind of blocking the door in and out.

Then I had to go to the bathroom. It was very public. The urinal was a bucket, and someone was standing on it to pee. It was to keep clean the way people don't sit on a toilet.

Then that person was gone and someone was in the adjacent stall. I thought I would wait even though the urinal was free. Someone else came up and was going to go ahead of me, and they said they would be a few minutes, so I should go. I decided to go.

When I got up to the urinal, it had a bunch of dishes or trash or something in it, so I said fuck it and walked out.

Owl and Bat House

My recall has been really poor lately, but I remember this dream from last night.

There was a house that was always dark, and I mean like there were no lights. It was full of owls and bats. You could hardly walk because they were everywhere.

There was some lady who lived in this house. It was narrated to me that she walked around the house naked all the time because there were no lights.

My view of the room was like a black and white drawing. Nothing moved. I was able to KIND of focus on some of the owls and bats, as though I was verifying what they were or something.

Thinking About My Dream

It was a very bright, sunny day. I was driving down the road. On my left was a chain link fence surrounding my friend J. F.'s back yard. He was also with to women who I believe were his sisters. They were all shirtless, fat, and sweaty. The ladies may not have been shirtless, but all I saw was skin.

One of the women commented to me or to one of her sisters that she thought I had held out a badge and that I was the sheriff. She started laughing.

Dream Skip

I'm in a building. It may be an office building, but it wasn't formal. The floor had blue carpet with a strange design in white.

I was with a couple people still. One may have been B. L. I'll say it was. B. L. Went into an elevator around a corner, and came out an elevator on my side of the corner. I brought this up to him. While he didn't think much of it, I pondered that for a while.

I kept thinking about the carpet in this building and that elevator. I kept saying how strange it was, and then it dawned on me that I was dreaming.

Now I'm with my cousin M. B. and I yelled out to him, "I'm dreaming!" I thought to my self, "It's lucid time." I was going down stairs so I took the wall. I ran along the wall to get to the lower flight.

I made it outside. I was going to follow the sidewalk outside, but decided to jump a fence. There was metalwork at the top of the fence. As I jumped over the fence my fingers got caught in the metalwork. My fingers were bending and I thought I would break them but I thought I better pass through as I might pass through a door, and my fingers did pass through without harm.

I saw a girl at the top of a flight of steps. I went up to her and started talking to her. I tried to make conversation until I could take my pants off. Then she did a back-bend. I said, "Are you in gymnastics?" She said "No." I was having a little trouble with my pants, but I put my groin up to her face. She didn't fight at all. The only thing is she wasn't that cute, so I decided to run and look for someone else. Flying would be fun anyway.


I ended up waking up. I had to go to the bathroom, but our cat and dog were making a racket also. I hope that's why I woke up.

Alligator

An alligator attacked my boy. It bit his foot and my boy started screaming. I opened the alligators mouth with my hands on either side of his mouth. I saw its teeth. I showed the inside of his mouth to someone.

I eventually let it go, and then I was afraid it was going to attack me. I think it did turn to attack me, but it didn't try hard, and my dream ended.

Short Flight Lucid

I started flying and I realized I was lucid. I flew up well but then I became heavy. I never tried to stabilize, and I my dream ended.

I wouldn't even count this except that I want to keep track of every time I become lucid.

OGF

I was with my OGF. She was being nice. Then she was getting a divorce and was hanging out with me. It seemed more and more apparent that we would get back together.

I obviously woke up eventually.

Face Transplant

A guy was talking to a doc thinking he was in private. It was a futuristic doctors office with clear walls, but it was sound proof. The only thing was, the room had a recording device in it, and everything this patient would say was transmitted through every other room.

At first, I don't know what the patient was in for. The patient was explaining why something should be a certain way and he was a genius telling the doc all these details about the company. The details were important because it was his support for whatever he was explaining.

The doc was smiling because he knew the patient was a genius, and it was a joy to listen to such a sharp mind think. The guy was rattling off support for his argument with information few people would know. The facts he was rattling off were bullshit like water being poured into different glasses and some such, but in the dream it was really good support for his argument.

During the patients explanation, I saw a doc or a michine sewing up a cube of a blue sticky substance. It was as though it had been injured and a futuristic sewing job was taking place. Three needles came down and went just belowe the surface of this substance. the needles were guided buy a lazer or something.

Now the patient in this one docs room is talking to the doc about getting a face transplant. He had already had one transplant to get a nice face. Now he wanted his old face even though it was the ugliest face in the world. The reason is what he was explaining to the doc the whole time.

The company was part his. There was some new technology, but with his new face, the partners wouldn't pay him. It was as though he was someone else. His 2nd surgery would put him back into his old face with hair like an old American aristocrat wig.

It was supposed to be bad that everyone could hear what the patient was saying, but as he told of his plan to have the transplant, it became unimportant because nobody could trick him out of the money from his invention.

Google Lightning

I was sitting in a job interview with another guy. We were waiting to be interviewed, but the other guy was being told he could go home and wasn't going to get the job. He may have already had his interview.

This other guy started making square bowl type shapes out of aluminum foil which he adhered to a protuberance on the ceiling. He put the foil over very particular spots which he said would short something out.

He explained there was a wet screw on the roof that would draw lightning, and when the lightning struck, the electricity would be drawn down to the foil bowls and short out something in the company which had something to do with Google.

Someone was going to fix the problem as it was on the roof, but all of a sudden it was me up on the roof trying to fix the problem. I saw a pole on a wet flooded roof and it was secured some weird way or something. I had to knock it over to disconnect the metal, but I said Fuck THAT as the roof was flooded, and I was standing in it in a lightning storm.

I ran away off the building, and now I'm with a couple friends M. S. and someone else having drinks and smoking some stuff. At first I was only drinking. M. and some girl were smoking like crazy. I decided to take a hit (which I don't do iwl). I took a pipe which was basically melting. I had to hit this pipe where as I hit it, heating it up, the pipe melted and I got this molten ceramic in my mouth. It didn't even have the intended effect, but it was cool to dream.

Then we were in a bar of sorts. Some stuff happened, we left, and then I realized I was missing my wallet. I told a friend who was now a fictitious person. I told him what happened and he said, Do you know how to roll?" He meant how to run away and deal with people shooting at me. I told him yes. He said to go with him, so I did.

We were going to go back into the bar and find out who had my wallet. As we went back to the bar, we went through an elaborate slide. It was like tubes in a water park, except they were metal and there was no water. At some points it was just a flat surface. There were two black guys shooting at each other and we had to avoid their bullets.

Once we got past them, we were outside. Now one of those guys was shooting at us. Batman was with me now. He shot a web like Spiderman, except that it was a slide that came from his wrist. I thought it was ridiculous that he would be able to produces this slide, but since I had to get away from the shooter, I followed his lead and jumped on.

The slide was made out of recycled rubber chips. It was gray, and water was flowing in it. The water helped you move on your stomach to get away from the bad guys without exposing yourself to their bullets. The way the slide was laid out, you could go different ways on the slide making it even harder for the bad guys to hit you. Around one curve there was grass growing around a curve. It was so stupid that this could come from Batmans wrist, but It all worked so well.

The End

Lightning is 5x hotter than the sun.
It is 11:09 PM.

The Occult

IWL, I study nutrition. Tocopherols are a class of chemical compounds of which many have vitamin E activity.

I dreamed there was an occult called Tocepherol. There were a bunch of people hanging around outside a building. They were all chanting some bullshit. There was a wind storm brewing.

I started kind of making fun of them. I got a tree branch and held it above me. I ran up to them. I had to jump from a 3 foot wall down into their little courtyard. At the edge of the wall, I saw them all walking slowly in a oval as was the shape of the courtyard, or they were just shuffling around stupidly here or there.

The wind was picking up. I saw trees swaying in the night wind. I was back a ways again and had a nice long tree branch. As I ran up, I positioned my branch to be comfortable in my hand and to have proper effect. It was long and looked impressive.

I ran up screaming and mocking them. As I screamed, I was trying to make the wind pick up, and it did. I saw tree limbs snapping. It only added to the effect of me screaming with my tree branch which also snapped in half because it was rotten.

I finally jumped down into the courtyard. There were people joining the occult and people leading it. The people joining had drawn little scribble monster things to show how they believed.

There was a guy and a gir. The girl wore a dress. The guy was saying something about how someone as going to do something like screw something into someones throat, or many people were going to do this ritual. The girl said that if anyone was going to do that, it might as well be a girl.

I thought this was the wrong logic unless you were buying into the occult. I didn't bother to tell them that. I was getting an inside look at this occult and it was getting serious. The screwing into the throat thing had a name, but I can't remember what it was.

I started walking around and mixing with the locals. Everyone was brainwashed. I met one guy who didn't really get it. I asked what he was going to do and he said he was going to go inside. I think I advised against that. Inside was the next level in and it was even harder to get out of the occult. They would try to keep you in.

I did go in, but only because I wanted to see what was going on, and I knew they weren't going to brainwash me; when I went in though, it was hard to get out. The leaders had the exit kind of blocked just by sheer volume of people.

I would go out of this room and come back in for some reason, but going back out got harder each time.

I ended up with a bag of something. There was a candle that I couldn't get to stay lit. the wick was in the wax, so I was trying to let the wax melt away from the wic so it would burn higher. Somehow the candle shown on a girl in th bag. It made sense in the dream. The girl was naked and I wanted to get a better view of her.

Now everyone was getting ready to do something for the occult. There was an attractive girl getting ready. She was naked, but she was covered in wax. She was really brainwashed. She was going in to be fucked by someone, or to be burned, or both. Then she caught fire from her right leg. She didn't seem to care.

Then one of the leaders or something--he started telling me and the other guy who wasn't really buying this crap, a story about one of the other leaders. This guy said that the other guy hand taken his two best girs and (accidentally) burned them to ashes, and he would talk to other girls, and taking a little of their ashes, he would say, "This is an ace" or "This is an ace of spaids." Then he would give the ash to the girl he was talking to.

It was time to get the Hell out of there. I talked to this one guy and asked what he was going to do. He said, "I guess I'll bribe the Sherrif!" The guy hadn't done anything, but that would sure make it seem as though he had.

I just left, but I don't know if I got out of the courtyard. It was like I could check out anytime I wanted, but I could never leave. I actually could once I got out of that room, but now the courtyard was hard to leave also.

GF

I was on a beach looking at a huge wave. Some people were surfing. I mentioned that I had surfed waves like that in Melbourne (FL) on the eve of hurricane Hugo. I did surf that day iwl, but it was nothing like the wave in my dream.

I ended up going to this one girls house. They had chickens. I mentioned that I have a chicken coup half built out. She said she was selling one. I asked how much. She thought for a minute and said, $700.00. I forgot what I said, but I mentioned it would be hard to get it back to my state. Later she offered it for $600.00

We went further in the house and I saw her dad. He was looking at repairs that were needed. There was a very narrow hall. One wall looked like an extra wall that wasn't necessary. At the end, I looked around it. Down a long flight of steps was a dark, basement. There was debris like rock and dust at the bottom. It was a good, spooky basement.

The girls father said something about what they needed to do to the basement.

I left the house with the girl. I was in my underwear, but it looked like swim trunks. I asked if she liked how I was just walking around in my underwear.

Dream Skip

I'm with a girl. She was a girl I went out with a couple times iwl, but it just wasn't right--at all. She had asked about us. I had to tell her it was over but I didn't want to hurt her.

I said, "We had fun, didn't we?"

She knew what that meant. She started to cry a little. I didn't say anything else because there was no need. I held her hand.

Now I'm in a car with her and someone else. I'm looking at the girl. I can't take my eyes off her. She looks a little different now and is very cute. Her hair is brown instead of black. Then she has grey streaks in her hair. She's still really cute.

The girl is gone and I'm in the car with a guy who's telling me how he was once driving this VW Bug in disrepair. He said it was only going about 5 mph once while he was on the phone. I told him I had a dream of the occult last night. I remembered the dream I had 3 hours ago in this dream.

We pass a business where they are holding a birthday party for someone. The guy says he would like to get with the girl who wants to do 45 hits of GBS. I look and ask, "Which one?"

He says, "I'll show you." He turned into the driveway, and now I'm with my friend MJ. He drives up and tries to drive through the owners of the business who turns us away. It's a private party. She knows we are up to no good and says, "Sticks and stones can hurt" or something like that.

My friend turned around, and as we were about to pull out of the property, he slowly raises his finger to point the girl out. I told him not to be so obvious.

Driving a Charger

I was with two girls in their Dodge Charger. It was a '67 or so. I was driving it about 80 mph on the highway. It was really shaky. When I saw a car on the side of the road, I had to slow down because I couldn't tell if it was a cop or not.

Journal later:

Walking up hill and JC gives me a pitcher of beer.
Sit down at a table drinking with friends. Later, walk up to the table again wondering where everyone went, but some friends and I sit down.

I see two purple, paper ovals and a dollar.
Rafting in a man made river.
BL had taken me there before.
On raft, a mediocre girl with underwear on and nice package below on me. I didn't want her on me at first but then I thought about her underwear and pulled her down on me.
Going down river, I know a waterfall is coming, but it's safe.
We dropped. My wife said, "That hurted." The girl and I were fine.
I tasted the water. We got out of the river.

It's Peeeeeeoplllllle!

I was in a car wit people I've never met. There was plenty of room for everyone. There was a black couple, a really sexy girl and her husband, and some other people I don't really remember well.

I was people-watching and considering the cards everyone had been dealt. I thought it was interesting that the black guy ended up with a black girl. It seemed so token. There was a sexy gal I wish I'd been able to get with, but that seemed typical too. She was with some responsible guy.

This guy was eating a barbecue sandwich. It looked really good. He asked if I wanted one and I said, "I'll get something later I'm sure--whatever I get." Then the guy had a camera. He was trying to get a picture of someone. I figured he'd try to get a picture of me sleeping because it was so real, or it told some story of our day.

I closed my eyes because I was so tired. I figured I'd give him the picture. I couldn't help but close my eyes.

I woke up and saw it was raining really hard. I looked back and saw we were at the top of a hill. behind us it was raining even harder. The clouds were dense, yet I noticed small cloud patches flying by. They looked like balloons being blown horizontally.

I pointed it out to someone. Something was wrong with it. It was completely unnatural. The storm had been worse behind us, but now it was over us more. Lightning struck a tree about 20 - 50 feet away. Over the next few seconds, lighting lit up the sky (just a little really), but I saw the lightning bolts strike over and over.

It began to look as though we were rolling backwards. Eventually I noticed the driver was backing up down the hill. She wanted to get away from where the lightning had struck. There were trees all around, but we weren't really getting away from any. They were all over.

At the bottom of the hill we were now out of the car. Responding to a comment that we might be dreaming that it is raining, I said, "I much prefer you dream it is a nice day. Then we might wake up and find it IS a nice day."

The guy with the sexy wife put his computer in a plastic tub that had water in it. He didn't care it was ruined. He thought it attracted the lightning before and said he'd rather leave it there and get a new one later.

I looked up and we seemed to be at the dock of a warehouse, but the dock platform was up about 8 or 9 feet. People from our car were sitting up on the dock. One guy was hanging out in the dumpster. He had given up.

Then clothes started falling into the dumpster. Some would hit a concrete platform and the bounce into the dumpster. I saw an old time hat that Humphrey Bogart would have worn with same other piece of clothing and a wallet.

More and more clothes started falling and I began to realize that that is what the strange clouds were. It was people and they were falling where we had parked.

My DC's had the dead-pan dream-thousand-yard-stare going. I was trying to get there attention to get back in the car. Realizing what was going on, I knew it was like Soilent Green, but I couldn't help it, and I yelled, "It's Peeeeeoplllllllle! It's Peeeeeoplllllllle!"

Singing a Spanish Line

I was singing a song in Spanish. A native speaker overheard me and corrected me. I was really embarrassed, but I was happy to know how to sing the line correctly. I can't remember how the song went.


Fully Repairable Food Balls

I went to the city square with my daughter's friend SH. I may have been with other people. When we got there, we all walked tiredly up some steps to a train track. The track circled at the steps to go back in the other direction.

We all chose a spot to wait for the train. I asked someone in my party if they wanted to stand with me. They stood somewhere else. I saw that they would be lined up with a different train based on where they stood. I mentioned to someone that it showed the difference in kids today. It made sense in my dream. It showed how they associated with different songs, or a different, more modern songs and technologies or something.

Dream Skip

I was looking down on these buildings. The city seemed empty except for 3 warehouses. Two were Japanese and they were affiliated. One was named "dieche" or "dihatche" or something.

Eventually we were all outside that warehouse looking in. There were these green, round balls about the size of the large, inflatable exercise balls, except these were food.

This was some new kind of food, and it was said to be "fully repairable." I saw one mis-shapen ball become perfectly round, then roll into its place near, but apart from another ball.

We started realizing something was wrong with these balls. It became clear they were our enemy. I looked around and saw some buildings we could run too. Some had fire ladders going up a ways towards the top of the building.

Then the people working at the warehouse released the balls. I knew they were poisonous and would kill us. The government was wiping everyone out. One person ran to a ladder at one of the buildings. I was going to run to another, but I woke up to go to the bathroom.

Messed Up Tattoo

I had a tattoo on both my arms. I had been drunk and let someone ink me. I was so pissed. The art work was horrible. It was supposed to be fire, and should have stopped a bit up my arm. Instead you could kind of see fire, but it was mostly just scribble, and it went down onto my fingers. I realized that any job I ever had would have to accept tattoos on my hands.

Tiny Lights
A few nights ago I dreamed I saw lights in the sand the size of a grain of sand. They were blue and green and maybe yellow. I scooped up some sand and got several in my hand. I tried to sift the sand out of my hand leaving just the lights.

This is residue from my fiber optic interests.

Eating

Over that last few days I had a dream where I was eating fish and one where I was eating a snow cone being very mindful of the texture.

The fish leathery on one side, but tender on the other. I wanted the tender, flaky part. The one where I was eating the snow cone was residue of doing a lot of research on shaved ice machines for a snow cone trailer I'm thinking about buying.
________________

Two giant horse-like creatures were moving towards eachother sideways. I was between them. A girl helped me get up one to avoid being smooshed. It was buff colored.

I was on my stomach over the horses back trying to get over it more so I would be positioned more evenly.

The horse then started walking around a center structure. I thought when it came full circle, I might be able to get off.

Dream Skip

I was in a room trying to sleep. I looked outside and there were 4 guys playing base guitar. I remember all of them had bases with different shapes and color. I kept looking for a guy with a white bass, but he wasn't there.

Dream Skip

Then I heard God talking to me (I'm not a God person). I was so happy that God finally indicated he wanted a "relationship" with me. In my belief system, invisible things have to some how make themselves perceived, or I must some how discover them, to believe in them.

So there I was. God was talking to me. He told me I needed to start talking to my Mom again. This bothered me, but I thought that if God wanted me to do it, that was easy enough to achieve.

I decided to make amends with my Mom, but then it was my Dad that I was going to make up with. I used to fight with my dad all the time.

I found myself up on a hill looking down at my Dad's house (it was different than in waking life). My brother was coming out, fighting with my dad. I needed to figure out how to get in the house without being notice so I could get some stuff and get out.

Dream skip to some other location. I asked a woman if God had ever spoken to her. She said "Yes." I told her God just spoke to me, but I mean SPOKE to me for real. I heard it!

She said, yea, he's Irish. I said, "YEAH! HE'S IRISH!"...and then I remembered his voice as being Irish, which it wasn't when I heard him.

I don't believe in God any more after that dream, but it was awesome having such a dream. This was the second intense dream about God that I've had.

Lucid Dream Game

I saw little creatures that we designed in our Lucid Dream Game. There were about 40 of them. I also saw some white ones, which we haven't discussed making.

I was surprised at how well I was visualizing the scene.

Sleeping in My Old House

I woke up in my old house. I was nervous because I didn't mean to fall asleep there. That would be dangerous since it isn't our house anymore.

I had a false memory of having arrived in the first place. I woke up my brother and told him we had to go. I went to the back door and there was an alarm. I had turned the lock, but I turned it back because I didn't want to trigger the alarm by opening the door.

I went back to get my brother. He was asleep again. I was pissed. I wanted to get the hell out of there. I thought that from the inside, we could go into the basement and head out that way without triggering an alarm, but it was too late. The new owners were home.

I was trying to sneak out while they were in different rooms, but the maid saw me. She was going to let me leave. She seemed to understand I didn't mean any harm. Then one of the owners saw me. I started kind of crying and explaining what had happened.

They didn't seem upset, but I was still trying to explain away why we were in the house.

Then my dad was in the house with his second wife. He was mad at my brother and was being kicked out of the house. I was out watching this all take place, but somehow still trying to escape.

Angry
I was in an apartment that belonged to my first girlfriend. She could afford several houses iwl.

I was with my wife arguing. I knew that R thought I was still a raving lunatic, but she couldn't understand the communication problems we have. In trying to explain, I was trying to tell her about an old dream I had of a book titled, "GOD HATES YOU."

Surfing

I saw monster wave. It was hundreds of feet long and a couple stories tall. I found where I could approach it and not already be in the tube. I never saw my surf board. It may have been a make-shift surf board.

I approached the wave and ended up behind it so I could catch up and ride it. I rode it for a second, though it wasn't really vivid. I didn't get to enjoy it so much.

I rode the wave in a little. Now someone was with me. We were riding the wave where it took us which was not exactly to shore. It took us to where water was coming from another direction as a river. The two waterways merged and we just had to keep our balance. The water was muddy like the Colorado.

Cable

We bought a $50 cable package and we had such a variety of shows to watch, but I was concerned about the money we'd be spending. I saw the program listings, not any shows.

I have no desire to get cable iwl.

Ron J.

I was in some kind of resort and Ron J. was there. I asked for his autograph. I found out he did water colors and asked if he would make a watercolor painting for me. He said they were all just water colors or something like that. I told him that's what water colors ARE. I asked if he would do one for me and sign it. Then I would have a painting and an autograph.

He said "I might just do a parallelogram or something. Maybe some other shape." I was a little disappointed, but I figured, if that's what he does, then so be it.

Toothpaste

There was a black guy who was shown the germs on his teeth with an ultra-violet light the way they show in the commercials. He had been using "Ultra Crest" or "Ultra Sensidine" or something. He wasn't happy.

Now we are at someone's house. He looks in the mirror and holds the light up to his teeth because he is freaking out about his teeth. He kept saying something to himself as he shined the light on his upper teeth, then his lower teeth. I think he kept saying the name of his toothpaste.

As he alternated from his top teeth to his bottom teeth, I saw in the mirror that his top teeth were REALLY green and his bottom teeth were yellow.

He started scrambling for different toothpastes. He piled up toothpaste from three different tubes on his toothbrush. Then I started looking for my tube to brush my teeth.

Then there was a lady in the room. She said she once heard that if your teeth were really bad, you could take toothpaste or mayonnaise and snort it and get it to your teeth that way.

I thought that was really cool. I pictured it going to my stomach, being digested, and getting to my teeth through the blood stream.

I started brushing my teeth. I had an old style brush I used to have when I was a kid. The head was bent like a dentists mirror. It broke in my mouth so I had to brush very carefully to keep just a little pressure on my teeth.