Xanous' Dream Journal

#423 - DILD - 6:08AM

I'm at Subway. Some man is being a jerk to a woman and she leaves him and comes to sit at my table. She becomes very flirty and ends up asking me to join her for diner later. She's older, but extremely attractive (she looks a lot like Zooey Deschanel) so I say 'yes'. I tell her that she is very beautiful and she responds with a flirty smile.

Later, I am walking up a sandy hill with sparse vegetation and I get the idea that I am very near the ocean. I'm preoccupied with the conversation with the woman and I keep replaying certain parts in my mind. I keep thinking that I sounded like an idiot the way I told her she was beautiful, but I think I am just being paranoid because she still wants to see me again. I suddenly become semi-lucid as I walk up this hill realizing that I no of this would ever happen. I anticipate seeing the ocean as I reach the top but the hill seems to morph in an odd way so that I never quite reach the top.

I am non-lucid in some industrial building. I see the woman again and we have some pleasant conversation that I can't recall. I then leave and somehow become lucid as I step outside. I look around and see that I am at some shipyard with storage containers all over the place. I get the feeling that I am in 'the bay area' and still near the ocean. I feel a love for this area and feel like I remember it from somewhere I lived long ago. I am overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia and I shout, "I LOVE THIS TOWN!" I walk along a type of boardwalk among the multi-colored storage containers. I see some containers are floating in the water and decide to play around by jumping from one to the other. I notice that though I can see water I can't see out into the bay because there seems to be a high wall of storage containers surrounding the area. I end up having some trouble jumping far enough and I barely grab on to the edge. I have to pull myself up on top and I find the effort is exhausting. This happens several times and I wonder why I am not able to just fly around. When I stand up, I am now on a concrete area inside a warehouse. There is an metal can like paint thinner would come in and has some logo on it. There is a green label with black letters that read "Ivory". My brother walks up looking overly disgusted and annoyed to the point that it seems cartoonish. He says, "Oh you've been talking to Ivory [the woman]. Good! Take her out of here. See that can? It's says 'Ivory'. Take anything that says 'Ivory' and get it out of here. He turns, storms off, and I wake up.

#422 - WILD - 4:42AM

This time I had no vibrations and the entry was all visual. I had trouble sleeping after my WBTB and ended up visualizing random scenarios until I felt myself enter the dream world.

I eventually latch on to strong HI and it brings me back to a more OBE like WILD. I spend some time flying out of bed and making huge swinging motions. I fell G-forces and the sensation is exhilarating. The dream is very dark but as I swing out, I can see the room stretch out to a ridiculous length. After some time I return to a laying position and manage to sit up on the edge of the bed. I recall wanting to see what I can find under my bed. Will there be a monster or a portal to some place new? I quickly jump down to the floor, but everything is way too dark to see. I feel the floor and find thick plush carpet that doesn't exist in waking life. As I note the texture I shout, "Light! I need some light!" This rarely works for me and this time was no exception. Suddenly, I hear a faint alarm clock sound to my right and see the alarm sitting on the floor. There is a little LED lit up and I quickly pull the clock apart and pluck out the light. I shine it under the bed, but only see carpet; no monster. I'm surprised at the open space, because in waking life we have a bunch of plastic totes under there. I wonder if the floor will give into a portal so I push on the carpet. The floor seems to give in some, but I can't get at it well enough to really make and opening. I try to slide under there, but my body just won't fit. I decide to try calling out a monster, "Come out. You in there?" I feel some anxiety about this and I'm not too disappointed when nothing shows. The dream is still annoying dark so I blind summon a flash light from my side. I have trouble physically feeling it so I just pretend it's there. The lighting only slightly gets better so I decide to give up on this task.

I try to make my way to the front door in the darkness, but as I walk, the house morphs into the house in Texas. I try to resist this at first, but decide it really doesn't matter. I open a door and enter what looks like a hospital. The lighting slightly gets better, but it's still pretty dark. I wonder around some hallways trying to find light. I end up in a patients room and see a window with blinds. I dive into meaning to phase outside. I feel the blinds press on my face for a moment then break through.

I am now in a stairwell of concrete and blue railing. I leap up one level and as I do I hear low muffled voices. It creeps me out so I say out loud, "Just talk normal, bitch." The voices stop and I see a light source a few levels higher. I jump as high as I can and push off a rail to get extra momentum. I land in a well lit area that looks like some sort of underground bunker. There is an old man and woman in blue jumpsuits standing near a doorway in conversation with their back to me. As I approach they both turn around and I am shocked to see they don't have faces. Cool! I look at the old gray haired woman then the man. When I turn back to the woman I see she now has eyes. I'm curious so I poke her check with a finger and find that her skin is way too soft and mushy. That's pretty gross so I move on through the doorway into the next room. There's some control panel at a desk with a chair and railing then a large metal garage door. The old man appears next to me with a full face. He's a heavy mouth breather and I find it very annoying. For whatever reason I turn and smile and shake his hand. He too feels way too soft and mushy and I notice that I squeezed his hand so hard that it is now misshapen. I get the idea that these people are made of memory foam. I suddenly wake up.

#421 - DILD - 5:20AM

I wake at some point to use the toilet then fall back to sleep with mantra.

Something about being at a church. Someone gets shitty with my and pisses me off so I leave.

I am traveling with my kids and wife and we end up staying in an empty trailer house. I assume we have permission, but I worry about getting caught. I'm not really sure if we have permission afterall. I see headlights and watch a car drive up a hill to a huge mansion. I get a snapchat of my son with my younger sister and her family. I 'remember' she is babysitting him for a while. I decide to play Gameboy a little before bed. Someone yells at my older daughter. I think it was my mom. I look at my phone and see it's 11:45pm. She's crying so, I tell daughter that she has 15 minutes and then we have to get some sleep. I notice the sun coming up through a window and I say to daughter, "You know it gets light at midnight now?"
She looks surprised, but says nothing
"Yeah, that's right." I feel this is true statement, but I am not totally convinced so, just to be sure, I do a quick nose plug. I blow through, but I think I must have not plugged my nose enough. I squeeze harder, but still blow clean. I'm totally shocked so I do it a third and fourth time until I totally believe.

I leave the bedroom at the end of the house and move back to the living room we were just in. It's dark outside again so I decide to play with punching at walls. When I connect, it feels like thick, soft rubber and makes no damage. I think it's kind of funny so I take several punches at the wall until I feel like my hand break through. However, when I remove my hand there is still no damage to the wall. I try the front door all to the same effect. I notice now that day light has return through the large bay window. I can see leaves on the brown grass outside and decide to use that as a visual focal point as I phase through the glass.

I keep thinking that I had some goals I wanted to try, but I just can't recall. I decide to run up the hill to the huge mansion and it takes some time getting there. I feel strange in my eyes like I have them open too wide and I'm trying too hard to focus. I try to ignore this and purposefully don't think about waking up. As I am walking up the hill, I feel my eyes rolling up too far to see so I tilt my head back to adjust. At the top, The large mansion is now several super small houses. I wonder if anyone is around so I shout, "HEY!... HEEEEEYYYY!" No one shows. I start to enter one of the houses, but it's at this point that I suddenly wake up.

#420 - DILD - 5:27AM

I was experimenting with meditation pre-bed and after a brief awakening. This dream is the after effect. Sadly, lucidity was short, but the non lucid part was just as interesting.

I am late for work and I get there just before lunch break. There is some sort of potluck in the break room and I go ahead and help myself to a plate. My old boss is there and she is mad that I got into the food already, but I don't pay her much attention. I recall eating some brisket, corn and (I think) mashed potatoes. After I eat I am at the smoker tables outside talking about the meal. I find out that I was supposed to pay $2 for a plate and some people are irritated about it. I tell them I will pay the $2 later. Bethany asks how I like the brisket. She says it was made by her family and has been smoking for a whole year. She adds that when customers ask to have something smoked, they put the brisket back in. I say, "Wow! A whole year? Funny... it didn't taste smoked." I thought I should have looked for the barbeque sauce.

I am going into the bathroom. The entryway is long and maze-like. I quickly see that the bathroom is now co-ed. I remember how I joked about this. I feel odd walking up to a urinal as ladies come out of stalls. The urinal is very strange. There is an extra back wall with partition in the middle of a watery toilet bowl hole in the floor. It appears that this is a shared urinal. I pee getting it mostly on the floor. I have a thought that this seems a lot like one of my dream signs; strange bathrooms. Before I can think too much about this, I am distracted by the feel of my right foot touching bare on cold moist tile. I quickly pick it up and rest it on my other foot that has a shoe. I am really worried about getting floor pee on my foot and I try to forget the fact that it's actually too late. I focus back on my peeing and see there is now a realistically colored, plastic penis sticking up out of the water. This really freaks me out and I decide I am done peeing. Billy walks up to the other side of the urinal and I think to make a joke about the plastic penis, but I feel this is all too awkward. I wash my hands and step out of the restroom.

I am now in what looks like a really awesome cafeteria. I wonder when they remodeled and someone says it only took one day. I remark on this and the man seems to think I was scoffing. I assure him that I was just impressed by how fast they put all of this together. I see some pop machines and an intricate snack bar with the Pizza Hut logo. I say something to the man working the snack bar in Pizza Hut uniform and then pass by a salad bar. I look down the long room and see lots of tables and booths full of people. I turn right and see more vending machines and a strange public shower thing like at the beach. There is a sign that reads, "Warm your feet." My feet do feel cold, so I put my bare foot in the water. It's nice and warm, but I am getting totally wet from the over-spray, so I leave. I back up and see a hallway down to the right of all the people seated at restaurant booths.

In the hallway is a large, bald, white man with a basketball. He looks pretty fierce and is staring me down has he bounces the ball. I try to ignore the man and intend to walk past him, but I am distracted by the many over-head dryers blowing warm air on me. It feels really nice and warm and I'm much dryer now.

There is some slight memory gap or glitch and I am in the same hallway, but I am trying to get into a large slit in a wall. It's tight and I have to pull myself up a bit, but the strain of my muscles feels nice and I have lots of strength. However, I start to feel claustrophobic, so I pause. The bald man starts screaming at me, "Run! Get through! Scream like it's the Apocalypse!." I give a huge effort and I am suddenly past the opening in a very small triangular attic. I see that I have removed some metal plate from where the large slit in the wall was and I drop the screws that are in my hand. There are more openings ahead and to either side of me that look even more tight. The feeling of claustrophobia grips me again, but now something finally clicks and I realize this is all just a dream. I feel relief from my discomfort and tell myself that no opening is too small in a dream. All fear leaves me as I squeeze myself through a very small hole. I get caught at the waist, but I relax and let myself pour out like liquid.

I am outside, several stories high and I jump down. The feeling of falling grips my stomach so tight that my whole body tenses up and I grunt a bit. I smile at the illusionary dream sensation as I gently touch my feet to the grass on the ground. It's a bright, sunny day and as I look at my hands, I marvel that I am completely immersed in an environment that's generated in my own mind power. I look up and see I am outside of my workplace. I am on the south east side where there are no entry ways. I recall being really impressed with the oddities inside and want to work my way back in. I try to take a step forward, but I am surprised that my feet have zero traction. I begin to loose my sense of gravity and the dream starts to collapse. I incorrectly assume that I am waking up and forget to try stabilization.

I lose lucidity and have a short segment where I see the crazy bald man back inside the hallway with the dude from the cafeteria. Baldy forcefully kisses the other guy who seems disgusted and pulls away. He starts to storm off, but pauses and rushes back to return the kiss. Thankfully, I wake up at this point.

This dream may have been partially inspired by The Internship with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

#419 - DEILD - 5:25AM

WBTB @ 4AM 2TBS Coffee grounds, 3 TBSP Sugar, 1/4 cup milk

I feel pretty wide awake after drinking the coffee as if the caffeine takes effect right away. I have a hard time sleeping and the goddamned cats keep making noise in the other room. I spend the next hour or so in fitful dreamless sleep until toward the end. I have an upsetting dream where I am overly upset that my wife is keeping me awake and didn't set the alarm.

I wake up and notice that I am in vibrations already. I go ahead and do some phase cycles and when I get to the rolling one, I fall out of bed. I still feel some attachment to my waking body as is some kind of super stretchy tar is clinging to me. I hit the floor and let out a yell of delight. I don't recall the exact order of events during this initial phase, but I basically spend a lot of time enjoying the feeling of being a disembodied spirit floating around the bedroom doing various, random things. Everything is way too dark, but at one point I float to my closet, open the door and scream into hoping for something scary to be in there. Nothings shows up so I close the door and float back up. During most of this I am overly aware of the feeling of the silver cord holding me close to my physical body though I don't bother to visually confirm this — I really don't want to give it too much attention. I eventually make it out the front door in a blind rush, but feel a pull back to my body by means of the cord.

I do another quick DEILD and this time I am able to get up fairly easily. I think of the mirror TOTM and head to the bathroom. The dream starts to clarify and lighten up as I turn to look at my reflection. I look mostly like myself but I have my son's eyes and my hair is much longer. I spend a moment taking a long close look while chuckling to myself then dive right on in the mirror. There is some resistance, but I get in fairly easy. To my disappointment, I have entered the void. It's not that the dream has gone dark because I can hold my hands up and can see them just fine. I rush forward and grope around for something 'physical' in the void. My hands come across a strong feminine jawline. I feel the lips and kiss them as my hand works down to other parts. After a second I can clearly see this woman and she looks strangely familiar yet not familiar. I later realize she is a compilation of all my past lovers. I continue to make out with her/them, but I feel no real sexual stimulation and it all seems so wrong. However, I continue just for the purpose of stabilization. It's not long until something external wakes me up.

#418 - MILD - 5:13AM

Coffee (Caffeine) 2tbsp brewed. 4tbsp sugar and about 1/8 cup milk
I wake about 3:45am from a vivid dream and decide it's too close to my 4:00AM alarm to go back to sleep so I go ahead and get up just long enough to drink my coffee. I return to bed thinking about the dream I just had and what it would have been like if I had become lucid. I quickly drop into sleep.


I wake my daughters up to get ready for school. There is some conversation and I randomly climb out a window in a hallway. The house is a two story and I come out on a low part of the roof. I am trapped because a woman who looks like Michonne in a Sonic uniform is on a ladder that is some how blocking my exit. I tap her on the lag and politely ask her to move. She tells me to hold on so I just find away to squeeze past. As I climb down off the roof I tell the woman and her associate that I am leaving for work so if they have any questions ask my wife. I tell them to just call for Janice (That's my mom's name... awkward.) I feel like this isn't the right name so I start to tell them they can just call for Mrs. Coon but I stop myself because they might thing I am trying to make an inappropriate joke. I wonder why they are here and what they are working on. Oh they must be installing tile. On the roof? Maybe it's something else.

I as I drop down I land inside the house. There is a ladder on a wall that is made of tape measure. I fiddle with it noting how flimsy it is. I decide it probably won't hold my weight so I leave it alone. I remember that I should be getting to work so I check the time on my cell phone in my pocket. 11:25am. Wow I am really late!

I look up and find myself at work. Robert M. is saying something about taking a half day vacation then says he better clock in. I think it's a little late for half day so I check the time again. 10:10AM. I become confused about the time and decide I better just clock in. I start typing my employee number and pause as I recall how I was just in my 'house' and suddenly I am at work. Then there's the time thing...Then, it finally dawns on me. I must be dreaming. I feel a wry smile come on my face and I step away from the computer. The dream collapses at this point, but I manage to get things back in order by focusing on what I should be seeing. Things are a bit unstable now but I think I can work with it.

I wonder about goals, but when I see a bulletin board I think I should try reading it. I do my best read out loud the wobbly and changing words. [something][something] on a cob. That make absolutely no sense. Now the dream is really unstable so I try rubbing my hands then the carpet. I notice it has a red and gold pattern.

Things get a bit more stable so I decide to walk outside while still rubbing my hands. I can't help but feel that I am literally holding the dream together by pure concentration. I tell myself there is plenty of time and I should relax. I feel my shoulders drop a bit and become at ease. Because of this the dram instantly fades away. I try DEILD with the phase method, but I am too wide awake. I decide to spend some time meditating before I get up.

#417 - DILD - 8:30AM

This lucid is hardy worth counting or posting a detailed account but I should make note of it. Perhaps I should start stabilizing as habit.

I am leaving work. There is some confusion about the time of day and shift I am working. John is there with a colorful case of canned drinks. I thought maybe it was alcohol but he says it energy drinks. I get a strong need for an energy drink. I walk to a store and look but I don't think I ever buy anything. I area turns into walmart and I have a handful of lucky charms that I brought along with me in my pockets. I munch on it as I walk around. I see they have changed the layout of the store and the spot were we were living has been discovered and dismantled (WTF? ). I begin to worry that Walmart will think I am stealing the cereal I was eating so I wonder off in another direction. I hear some ominous page on the intercom and see a manager with a walkie on his belt stop, look up, then respond on the walkie. I worry it's about me so I decide to hide in a restroom. I see some blue sign and head there. There is a narrow hallway and the light flash and I hear some low siren sound. The hallway starts to constrict and I am barely able to squeeze my way out the way I came in. I turn to look at the doorway and see a sign that reads 'Offices'. Oops. I turn around and see the blue restroom sign again next to some elevator doors. I look closely and see the man and woman symbol and the number eight under it. I find this odd, but go for it. There are only two buttons marked '10' and '2'. I wonder if I am supposed to somehow do subtraction to get eight. I push the 10 first then the 2 and the doors open. I get and and feel the elevator quickly shoot and while the ceiling gets uncomfortably low. Low ceiling? Then I get vertigo and turn upside down. I see my reflection in the mirror. I am in just my underwear and a t-shirt. The shirt is falling to my face and I pull the shirt down to cover my skibs. I begin to feel really uncomfortable and panic as I feel my neck is being jammed in an awkward position from being thrown upside down. Then suddenly, I remember this is only a dream and fully relax though it take some effort. I recall that I was lucid earlier and wonder how I lost lucidity for so long. The elevator turns right side up and the doors open. I step out, but the dream glitches at this point. My vision is distorted and I find my stepping out as vibrating repetition like in a video game glitch (hard to describe). I try to focus and clear the dream up, but I feel at a lose as to how. After a few seconds I give up and relax.

I have a super brief FA where I open my eyes and see a realistic version of this dude from Bleach leaning over the bed next to me and in my face.



He's saying something rude about lucid dreaming and the elevator mishap. I quickly wake up.

4am coffee from 2 tbsp grounds with milk and sugar.

#416 - WILD

I wake at some point and try DEILD phase tech, but this time I was surprised by entering straight into it, skipping all the usual OBE stuff. I was only mildly lucid at first and thought that I was only seeing strong HI. I thought that I wasn't fully there and was trying to convince myself that I was dreaming, hoping that my dream time would catch up to my expectations. However, during the entire experience, I was already fully immersed in the dream and everything was extremely vivid. I even had the thought at some point that caffeine always makes my dreams more visually vivid.

I am standing next to a refrigerator in a kitchen that looks like the Smith's house, but my coworker bro Brandon is there. I see the fridge is so vivid and I take a closer look to stabilize — like I needed to. I note the eggshell texture on the door and the brownish fake wood handle. There is some chrome and I expect to see my distorted reflection. It's not there at first, but I do a double take and there I am. I feel like my eye are open extra wide and I can't believe how vivid the dream is. I look around for a moment and realize that I am in fact fully in the dream. Unfortunately, it's at this point that something external wakes me.

I had another vivid dream about swimming in an ocean and a shark bit my knee where I had been having pain in waking life. Strangely, my knee feels a thousand times better today.

I've been sitting on a write up from www.obe4u.com. The technique they have outlined is basically DEILD but with a SSILD like twist. All you do is do the normal DEILD effort and then apply various "OBE" techniques in a cycle. The idea is that if one doesn't start to work after about 5 seconds then you move on to one of the others. It's best to give it a full read to understand. Anyway, I finally started to seriously try this method last night along with the beginner exercises from Mastering Astral Projection: 90-day Guide pre-bed — I'm only reading the Google Play sample for now. I don't know if my intention was strong, but I have several awakenings all night and remembered to give this a shot. I kept moving when I woke up, but after the 4th or 5th awakening I finally got it.

#415 - DEILD

I wake from a dream a bout the braid machines at work. I accidentally move as I wake, but go ahead and do my version of Robert Monroe's technique and focus several inches above my head. Nothing happens right away but I feel some very mild onset of a body shift so I stay at it. A few seconds later I get vibrations. I'm pretty much in, but I go ahead and switch to dream body hand rubbing. Something new happens at this point. It feels like my hands are being pushed away like opposite magnetic poles. I am able to make my hands slowly meet, but they are quickly pushed away again. After some more effort I am able to do some hand rubbing as I watch for visual cues.

I am not sure how the transition happened, but the next thing I recall is walking down the hallway at my ex-in-laws house. I'm not too happy about this, but I make the best of it. As I walk forward, I feel like some presence is following behind me. I have some random thoughts about the person teaching me better OBE techniques. Then, the idea of being follow get creepy so I try to forget it.

The house is too dark and I am drawn to a light in the kitchen. There is one small dim light from under a cabinet that doesn't even light the whole room, so I stay there for a moment with expectation of more light. I listen to a lot of music during the day so naturally a song comes to mind. Without really trying or thinking about it I start singing Wallpaper's Evrytm We Do It. While I sing, I look around for more lit areas. I see the front porch light is on and I head outside. Like the kitchen, only a small area is lit up so I wait just a bit to give the dream a little more time. Soon dark void beyond renders the nighttime neighborhood.

I see something pass quickly down the road. I look, but it's already at the bottom of the hill. I wish that I could go back and remember to look soon. This thought brings the object back up the hill. I see an old Buick backing up the hill, but the driver has the door open and is pushing the car while manning the steering wheel. This is a really odd sight because it's all happening in rewind at real-time. For some reason this is only mildly interesting and I randomly decided to take a walk down the road. I start asking myself what my goals were, but I only drawing a blank. I quickly notice that I am still singing a line from the song, "Every time... we do it... I wanna do it... again. I'm shocked at how clear and tone perfect my voice sounds and I wish that it could sound like that in waking life. The dream instantly fades at this point and I wake up. I try to DEILD back in but nothing works for me.

NON LUCID


12:00AMish

Long dream about there being an army outside a house. I see them point guns at me while crawling over a pile of spent ammo. I think how more come every time I attack and destroy a base. The back side is clear and I quest the logic of this. I comment to someone with me. I look out the front and everyone has cleared out. This makes no sense. I go outside. Someone is building a large bridge super fast. I move out of the way. I need them to hurry with the upgrade.

This dream is from playing too much Star Wars Commander

3:43Am (long dream abbreviated)

Long epic dream about massive earthquakes and an apocalypse.
At some point I am at a fast food restaurant. I take my son to the bathroom and there is something like dried blood or ketchup all over the floors. I feel it on my bare feet. Behind the counter and food prep area everything is really clean. I suppose that they are just now getting things bad to normal since everything fell apart. I dismiss the mess.

There is a girl with a group of survivors. A half machine half human thing has been talking to her online. It coaxes her to the edge of the colony in the darkness. Father catches on and come to save her just in time. Cyborg needs to steal a mind to be complete. It almost has father but can't see the gun in his hand. Father shoots the cyborg thing last second.

Son is posting to a community post warning everyone about the cyborg and not to trust any online interactions. He tells everyone to keep an eye on their children.

Later the family is in a super market. A robot throws a cartons of eggs at the mother. She doesn't trust the machines anymore. I in the scene now and walk away. The intercom says something about the "Psychedelic isle". I repeat this phrase in shock and feel excited. I also think this can't happen but I suppose the in the future people are more open to such things. Dad and son are at check out and I walk up to them. The dream ends.

WBTB Coffee (2Tbsp grounds) Sugar and milk.

TIME?
I wake and just know it has been an hour. I try DEILD and focus on body but lose concentration

430am
Strange toilet dream at work. Basil is in the next stall. Issue with messy wiping and trying to clean toilet. The stall door has slots that I can see through. I question reality but don't follow through.

Try DIELD body focus even though I made DJ notes. SSILD feels like too much stimulation as caffeine has me feeling more wakeful.

520AM (Super Vivid)

My 2yo son goes out the back door allow. My wife and I chase after him. Its dark and he's pointing to the sky. He says, "Pretty." I look and see the Milkyway bright and clear. There is a large section that is a scarlet red nebula. I say, "You're right, son. That is pretty!" I look and point at the other parts of the Milkyway and wonder how there is so little light pollution in town. I remark about this to my wife. I go inside with wife and son and realize that I have my Galaxy Player in my hand. I should take a picture. I hold it up to the sky out the window and wonder how the low light image is showing on my screen. I step outside to get a better shot and now the sun is up on the wrong side. The amazing star display has vanished and I wonder how it got light so fast. I feel like I am missing something important but I wake up at this point.

Caffeine has me too wakeful so I meditate a bit before getting up to start my day.

#414 - 8:44AM - DILD

WBTB 3:30AM 8mg Galantamine/400mg choline, 400mg DMAE
This one didn't go so well, but I was lucky enough to pull off one LD late in the morning purely out of desperation.

I am trying to enter my email login on my phone to see an important email from my mortgage broker. Nothing I type comes out right so I look for my laptop. I have an false awaking and become slightly lucid. I think how typical the previous dream was for electronics failure.
Next I notice SW from work in bed with us. I know it's not real, but I am snuggled against him and I find it mildly humorous. I push him away and initiate sex with my wife by actively summoning and creating the sensation. Several odd thoughts race through my mind as we do it for a few moments.
I am now in a classroom in a chair with a trash can between my feet.

Spoiler for EXPLICIT:

Spoiler for NO REALLY I MEAN IT:

Spoiler for I WARNED YOU:

I notice that have my pants down and I am scooted up on the edge of the seat and sort of hunched forward like I am on the toilet. I realize that I am making slight humping motions so I look down. I see my erect penis with a long string of cum slowly dripping off the tip.

Shocked at my nakedness and sexual nature, I wonder how my dream would cause me to literally end up like this. I look up and see an and old woman that is an ex-coworker (dead) looking at me sort of curious as well as shocked. I quickly pull my shirt down to cover myself. I feel disoriented and confused. I wonder how I could have had such an obvious sex dream in public. I realize that I am in a room pf coworkers both past and present and if feel embarrassed and devastated that this is happening. I'll never live it down. My life is ruined. I pull my shorts up not really getting my underwear and they king bunch down low, but I don't care as long as I am covered. I feel so sleepy and I rub my face and sigh heavy trying to get my bearings. I still can't believe this has happened. I don't even know how I fell asleep. I try to ignore everyone around me as I deal with this trauma; I just want a way out. I begin to hope that by some miracle of divine magic that I am in a dream. Maybe... I do a nose plug out of desperation and am completely delighted and surprised to blow through. I giggle and the feeling of hopeless despair rolls off me dropping like a lead weight. Forgetting about any nakedness, I stand up and walk over to a group of people talking. I think how I am highly lucid as I playfully push V (fired IWL) over and say I relief, "This is all a dream." V falls out of sight and I smile at everyone feeling triumphant and gleeful. Before I can do much else, the dream quickly collapses and I wake up.

I had another LD much earlier in the night but I cant recall much so I'm counting. Basically, I was running from some enemy when I became lucid and played with a gun. I wanted a shoot out so I blind summoned a rifle. I goes off against a glass but only scorching it. In some burned out building someones head peaked up outside a window. I fire off a shot, but the dream fades out.

#413 - DEILD - 9:40AM

I have many dream late in the morning with several lucid moment that I forgot until this one.

I DEILD and enter heavy HI that turns into a dream scene without losing awareness. I am standing in front of a really large mirror at the bottom of a grassy hill. In the mirror, I see two red M&M people standing at the top; One big and one small.



I step to the left and still see the M&Ms at the top of the hill waving at me. This confuses me because the view in the mirror is slightly different and I have no reflection. I'm not sure why this is happening so I move back and forth from the mirror finding the effect is the same. I feel that I have a funny look on my face as I say, "Well, I am dreaming." This confirmation sets me into action. As I run fast up the hill at the larger M&M, I hear a mental voice telling me to eat the M&M. It's reminding me of a task that someone told me about. I am not sure if this is a false memory or I read it on lucid dares, but I decide to go for it.

As I rush up the M&M rushes down to pass by me, but as he does, I am able to take a huge bit out of him. I note the taste is just like it should be and continue running for a bit until I stop at the top of the hill. When I turn around, I see the smaller clone of the one I bit come running back up the hill. He looks to have a large football in his arms and I decide to tackle him. I jump on top of him, but he doesn't slow down. I look up the hill and notice vision bouncing from the rough ride as I cling to the little red M&M. I appreciate this little detail as I wake up.

Another little segment of lucidity. Time unknown.

I see S leaving work. I decide to.. ehem... "talk to her". (curse you menthol!) but she walks away quickly. I call out to her, but she continues to avoid me. She enters and exits several outdoor structures changing appearances as she passes through. None of this fools me and she looks more and more attractive each time. I continue to chase after until I wake up feeling like a douche.

#412 - DILD - 6:35AM

I am walking up a hill with my younger daughter and son. For some reason I am going to some apartments to take a swim. I tell myself that if I am going to live here, I need to figure out how to park on the other side so I don't have to walk so far all the time. Some triggers semi-lucidity and the walk up the hill feels hard and slow. I realize that this is all a mental thing and tell myself to just pretend that it's all super easy and it will be. It works for a second and gets difficult again at the last few steps.

I am inside the apartment but it all looks really odd. I feel this is normal for a dream so I let it go and try to ignore it. I have my son in my arms and for some reason think I need to put him down for a nap. There is a door way that I think leads to his bedroom, but when I open it, it is just a broom closet. I know this is all pointless so I unceremoniously toss my son into the darkest part of the closet and walk way. I feel a mental tug to do it right, but I don't want to get caught up in mundane tasks in a dream. I am still really caught up in going swimming so I try to find the back door. As I make my way outside, I pass though some tiny kitchen that I recognize to look like a small version of the duplex I used to live in.

Outside, my lucidity raises as I look around for a pool. I see an above ground pool to the right, but quickly reject that. I look to the left and see my younger daughter jumping into a large in-ground pool. Excited, I run and jump and yell, "JEEEERRRONIMOOOOO!", as I belly flop into the pool. As I make impact I worry that my vision will get distorted and I end up in the void. Of course, this thought manifests as I see a blur of blue and air bubbles and the dream fades.

The lights come on and I wake up with my son in the bed with me and my wife. He's crying and some liquid has pooled up all over the sheets. Not sure if he peed out of his diaper, I ask, "Why is everything so wet?"
My wife just says, "He's been crying." I realize that there is no way a kid can tear up that much and remember that I was just now dreaming that I was swimming. The lights do out and I roll over and make swimming motions in the dark until I reach my wife. I start kissing her and decide maybe some sexy-time would be nice. The light returns and my wife stops me. She asks, "Right now? [in front of R?]
I tell her that it doesn't matter [in a dream]. We continue to enjoy each other, but I wake up before we get very far.

#411 - DEILD - 5:13AM

4AM WBTB, Galantamine/choline with peppermint tea.

I wake slightly realizing I lost focus. For some reason I was pretty wired at WBTB and had a hard time getting settled. I don't recall dreaming, but focus on DEILD. I feet a familiar shift in my body almost on command and exit pretty quickly. For some reason I head to the bathroom to find a something like a really tall crypt keeper coming at me trying to bite my face.



I reflexively put a protective arm over myself and push away with the other. The room lights up and now I think of it more like a zombie. Fear starts to creep in but I remind myself that it's just my dream and the fear goes away. I remember how easy zombies are to kill in The Walking Dead so, I grab the thing with both hands and smash it's face into the mirror over the sink. I am shocked when I see neither one of us have a reflection. There was a definite face impact on something but it seems more like a window than a mirror. I look loser for a reflection and find two alternate versions of myself. On has a curly white-boy-fro and is standing in the door way. The other has long straight hair and is smiling at something in to the right that I can't see. I remember the Crypt Keeper and get back to mashing it's face into the mirror again. This time I really hope for a reflection and I see it now and, even though my reflection is absent, I am satisfied. I smash the thing one more time and see it's jaw drop away. I figure that has to be good enough and I have a strong desire to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

I wander into the kitchen and find the rest of the house is way too dark. I try a light switch with no luck. I try snapping my fingers but I get a weird visual of my hands flapping around really fast in the darkness. I feel really rushed and worried that I am taking up too much time messing with stuff, but I remember Dreamers' time technique and calm myself. I have all the time in the world. I decide to just go outside now, but I'm still stuck on the idea of making light. I snap my fingers, but it just feels really weird. I try making a fire on my finger but nothing happens. I find myself at the door but when I try to open it, it's locked. I fumble with the deadbolt with little success until I remember how ridiculous it is to be worried about all that in a dream. I pull the door extra hard and there is a jolt and a pop like something broke and the doors opens.

When I get to the porch I begin to float. It's a dull, grey, overcast day and the air feels extra cool. There is some silver colored van parked in my yard. I notice the tail lights are lit up so I decide to go investigate but my I can't seem to make myself float over. About the time I start struggling the van drives ways. Yell out at the driver as I return to the ground to run after it, but it's long gone now and I don't care enough to pursue. In the street, I see it's made of gravel rather than asphalt. I find this mildly interesting but mostly ignore it. I start to feel rushed again, but remind myself that there is plenty of time and not to worry about it. It helps some, but I know the dream time is limited and there's stuff I want to do.

There is another car stopping in the street and I recall one goal. I want to see how far I can stretch my arms to grab something. I reach out at the car and my arms stretch out and snake around until I can feel something. It I may have reached about 20 feet out and grabbed the edge of the wheel well. It's an odd sensation and as I am experiencing this I ear a woman's voice close in my left ear. I reflexively forget about my arms and the car and spin around to see who's talking to me. To my surprise, I see no one.

I walk down the street looking for the woman with out luck. While I'm doing this, I recall other goals. I think of the Pegasus TOTY but I feel like this dream world is really unstable. In fact, it feels really taxing trying to hold it all together. I recall another task, to see how running feels now that I have started to do so in waking life. I turn to start, but I see a woman walking across the street. She must be the one so I head over to her. I talk to her but my words feel jumbled and her reply makes no sense. I struggle to talk clearer, but about that time the dream fades into a dull white color.

I open my eyes facing my wife's side of the bed. I see she has her cell phone on and the light from it must have woke me up. She has her phone partly under the cover like she is trying not to disturb me, but it's still really bright. I ask, "What are you doing?"
She tells me, "Just... this."
I think shes just being rude and I become really pissed off that she woke me out of a lucid dream. In a huff, I roll over to my other side jerking the covers and say in a loud whinny voice, "You woke me up! What the hell?"
Then I realize something feels off. The sensation of rolling over was very dull and numb. This is a familiar effect of my dream body. Happy again I say, "I'm not awake!" I roll back over but end up on top of my wife. She has put her phone away, but for some reason I ask, "What was that anyway?"
She replies, "I'll show you... hold on."
Before I say or do anything else stupid, I go ahead and do a quick nose plug to make sure I am really dreaming. I feels redundant, but I enjoy the confirmation. Now I say, "You're not real."
Then, my wife's face morphs into the Crypt Keeper from earlier and I bail. It's not that I am afraid, but I really don't want to deal with that nasty thing again.

I recall my running task again as I head back to the front door. I start running while singing, "Run run run baaaby." When I get to the door, I wake up. This time for real.

#410 - DEILD - 4:08AM

WBTB @ 3AM. Caffeine from coffee.

I wake slightly surprised that I can recall no dreams. I lay still and focus my attention a few inches from the crown of my head. Vibrations quickly start and it's not long until I feel my dream body float up from my physical body. There is a moment where I can feel both simultaneously and this causes an in-and-out-feel or 'bouncing' effect of my dream body. I shift my focus to walking and make my way to the living room. I am blind, but I feel like I just have my eyes close so I slowly and cautiously open them, worried that I will open my physical eyes and wake up. Luckily, this clears up the dream with no other effect. As I walk to the front door, I have a strange feeling like I am half crouched or hunched over and my eyes feel like they are trying to roll into the back of my head. I correct this by straightening up and trying to look more downward.

Outside, I see a full moon and the yard is only lit by it's dim light. There's are a few scattered stars and I recall one of my goals to meditate on one with the intention of travel. As I look up my eyes go out of focus and the feeling of them rolling into the back of my head returns. Then, there is some visual distortion like my physical eyes have opened slightly. I make a poor attempt to correct this not really knowing how and I wake slightly again.

I DEILD the same way as before, but this time when I reach the living room I enter a true void. Usually I have some phsycial sensation during these 'void' experiences, but this time I feel truely cut off from everything; no sight, no sound, no touch. I don't even feel like I have a body. Instead of fighting against it, I decide to relax and enjoy whatever I am given. I then regain some sensational and feel as if I am slowly floating around a space. I then begin to roll and I see a light on each rotation through closed eye lids. I had no sense of time and wondered if there was light coming from my bedroom window. Maybe it's later in the morning. I begin to wonder if I am going to roll on top of my wife. I think about this and decide to have dream sex with her. I kiss her, but the feeling quickly slips away.

I am fooled momentarily by a false awakening. I open my eyes and find that I have in fact rolled on top of my wife except I have my butt in her face. I feel embarrassed and we both laugh. I quickly get back on my side of the bed and try to focus again to DEILD. I have a vivid image of my wife laughing, but her teeth look very brown and decayed like some meth-head's.



I am repulsed by this, but quickly realize this is a dream. I say to myself, "You are still asleep!" I know this is true, but I feel as if I still need to continue with the DEILD. The same as before happens, but this time I enter into a vivid dream (I was already there).

There is a mirror on covering one whole wall in the bedroom and I hear a song from an acoustic guitar. The music sound generic and unoriginal yet familiar. My reflection has a giant wrench in his hands and is singing into it while bobbing up and down.

Like this guy.



I feel disconnected from it for a second, but quickly we merge as I sing. I have that awkward moment where I am not sure if I am singing in my sleep or not, but I do my best to ignore it. The lyrics just come to me without much thought, "I've got some issues. Yeah some issues. I've got some issues. Yes I do." Then I use the wrench to play guitar with then into my crotch as I use it to do some pelvic thrusts. I turn to the mirror on my wife's closet door and dance a little in front of that. I go out of the room and the song changes, "I'm gonna make great love...great love...yeah great great love. I've got some issues yeah some issues but I'm gonna make great great great love." I recall another goal that involves a dub-step song to try to induce a Star Wars battle. I sing loudly, "Destroy them with lasers!" Unfortunately, the music doesn't change. I say out loud, "Oh ok. I guess we're gonna keep going with this then." I start to sing some more, but the dream quickly fades and I wake up.