ZenLD

I'm sort of coming up with a new awareness training idea. I decided to write it out so it'll I'd remember to apply the idea later on.

The problem with my old system of rating my awareness was that I had to take pauses in between to measure my score. This sort of gave pauses in between what I did that gave more room to lose awareness.

I noticed that during the day, about 80%, I'd find myself (automatically) regaining awareness or doing sort of what I did every 3-4 events. So It's sort of like a regaining the present awareness. There were some times where I'd lose this 3-4, where I'd become emotional or something like that. I did my best to stay aware and notice what the source of the sleeping autopilot and... It's something like attachment I guess. To emotion or things, past or future? I don't know exactly. It's like not the act of feeling it but how I react to feeling or events. It's sort of like the un-attachment that skipper was talking about probably. But I guess I'm discovering it or rediscovering it through the hard way by experience.

So my idea for a new awareness training is to just count the number of times - well two ideas perhaps. Count the number of times I got unaware or I got aware. Use that as a score. I will have to test it out and see how it goes. But the idea of counting the number of unawareness isn't really new, it's just like the prayer beads that monks use to count the number of times they lost their mindfulness or something.

But the other problem I had with the previous practice was that I needed something to write down my score. And it might have been not ideal, as I was anchoring this increased awareness to writing, and I can't always have time or situation to note it down.

Is it more important to notice the surroundings or the emotions? Maybe the noticing of emotions should be - or better be described as noticing attachments?

BUT I also need a way to break the cycle of attachments on top of that. Say, to stop the mind from wandering after getting distracted- or like simply a new default mode network or thought process to implant after noticing myself getting attached?

One at a time? Or both at once? Perhaps cycling them would be nice. Practice one on some days and practice the other on the rest.

Or maybe just do nothing at all - just let things unfold on it's own. And all I need to do is to just- ...be?

Dreams
School ukulele May 4 hr ish
AP BED re outside storm vivid