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    subtle

    by , 11-25-2020 at 03:29 AM (111 Views)
    ** P.S part read if reviewing DJ**

    I originally felt sort of down. Felt like I hadn't made any progress. I decided to meditate after dwelling in that useless pit of unwelcoming feelings. And I felt better after. And feeling better made me notice more things.
    4

    Although there didn't seem to be active awareness improvement during the practice, I noticed that I was doing them while I wasn't practicing. I had more of those moments where I'd stop myself and just notice. And it was different from times before; because this was not forced, just happened sort of semi naturally.
    3

    So maybe the easy way to train awareness is to have short training sessions and that would just promote more passive awareness throughout the day.
    3

    Recall and stuff

    I slept in short intervals again. Uncertain whether I'd dreamt. But I did have a moment of lucidity in a short dream fragment. It was very brief. Either I was tired, or it was a short REM period, or something else. What I do recall was that I was outside, and I was going through these same thought process I used during my current practice. To remember, then become present. Then I thought "dream?"
    2

    One question I have is that whether this lucidity is actually caused by the awareness training; or would it have happened either way? Because I'd probably have gotten lucid without doing anything at all anyways. And I suppose that was the cause of my woes - whether if any of this is futile; and would lucidity have happened naturally anyways?
    4

    Presently, I'd say the "gaining of awareness" process is only partially complete. It has an aspect of "remembering" and getting "present" perhaps it lacks "intent." Intent to actually lucid dream or a dream goal. But perhaps it is fine. To take it slow. I feel like it's all coming together nicely.
    4

    NOTE TO SELF though: That last bit of resistance, just push through. Whenever there's that negative feeling, a persisting negative feeling - MEDITATE. Get to the core of it. Face it. Instead of distracting yourself, just face it. It doesn't take long - and everything becomes so easy after.
    4

    Oh yeah one more thing is don't worry too much about the results right away. The results will come according to their own appointed hour. You're practicing it actively and it's beginning to show up into passive habits. You only need it to sink a little deeper into the subconscious habits for consistent results to show up.
    3



    Goals

    -complete the awareness technique
    -oh yeah remember try cutting awareness into smaller pieces for more effectiveness
    -have a meaningful dream goal or remember it
    **master non-attachment


    awareness score:
    27/90 = 30%!

    ** P.S. quick note, negative feelings (or event, circumstances) make me more unaware, awake or dreaming. The last few- EVERY time I lost consecutive days of lucid were exactly that; from negative feelings. It makes me blind and lose focus. So don't worry about getting lucid results right away. First get good at this "resolving" process. Because if you were to blindly aim for quick lucidity, you'd once again get distracted by something. This is the step 2. Master this step 2 so that next time you get past step 1, you'll have a smooth sailing - is it called NON-ATTACHMENT?**

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    Updated 11-25-2020 at 03:40 AM by 96162

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