Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Congressman to me (I had just given him a gift)
"WHAT IS THIS?"
"I don't know sir..."
"THIS IS... AWESOME.... GREAT JOB BRO"
"Um... what?"

Originally Posted by Neoquestmoo

Congressman to me (I had just given him a gift)
"WHAT IS THIS?"
"I don't know sir..."
"THIS IS... AWESOME.... GREAT JOB BRO"
"Um... what?"

Amusing, but not funny.

Girl doll to me this night:

"The roof is on the floor."

Originally Posted by CyperAleksi

Girl doll to me this night:

"The roof is on the floor."

Is the wall of the roof? Maybe the corner is on the ceiling?

"Are you feeling a bit high, sex kitten?"

Don't remember the context at all, but I just found that quote on my phone and remembered it was some from dream I had like a month ago... yeah I have no idea what was going on...

Pretty funny interaction between my brother and my mom in a dream a few days ago

Bro: "Can I go on the computer?"
Mom: "No, you have to do chores first?"
Bro: "WHY THE F**K CAN'T I GO ON THE COMPUTER FIRST?"
Mom: "I already told you, you have to get those chores done!"
Bro: "Well then you're a bitch!"
Mom: "You can't talk to me like that. For your punishment, I'm gonna take you to a pet store and lock you in one of the hamster cages"

Hahaha that's so random!

Yes indeed. When I heard my mom say this I was like, "No! Anything but the hamster cages!" because I thought it was such a cruel punishment for my bro.

Another one from a month ago:

Neighbor lady talking to my mom: "My husband had sex with about 20 different women this last month, including that eighty-year-old grandma across the street".

In a non lucid dream me and this green avatar-like woman are on a blue desert type planet. The girl approaches me and says: "What is in common between the two planets?"
Confused by her question, i go along with it, i look around and reply: "Well, there seems to be air.... and a surface."
A rather unique response i would say.

Another dream-----
I am in a changing booth and i overhear my mother praising my knowledge of lucid dreaming and reality checks to a friend. She says:
"He is so smart. He is twenty four (implying that that explains why i am so smart?).... Well, he is actually sixteen, but..."
I am neither 24 or 16... and i didn't become lucid despite her encouraging me to show a friend how to do RCs.

I'm in the house all alone with the lights all off and someone knocks on the side door.
DC: "Come on, it's not like I'm going to kill you or anything."

What a liar.

Originally Posted by epdawg62

Bro: "Can I go on the computer?"
Mom: "No, you have to do chores first?"
Bro: "WHY THE F**K CAN'T I GO ON THE COMPUTER FIRST?"
Mom: "I already told you, you have to get those chores done!"
Bro: "Well then you're a bitch!"
Mom: "You can't talk to me like that. For your punishment, I'm gonna take you to a pet store and lock you in one of the hamster cages"

Lol, that is pretty funny.

I am in the movie No Country For Old Men. In this version of the movie, Matt Damon is Anton Chigurh's side kick. I don't play any significant role but am a constant observer. A very attractive woman has sex with Matt Damon in a hotel room, but somehow realizes that he is going to hold her hostage so Anton Chigurh can come and kill her. She runs away and almost escapes, but Matt Damon and Anton Chigurh corner her in the courtyard of the hotel. At this point, a twenty year old overweight black girl is observing this scene with me. Anton shoots the attractive woman in the head with his air gun, and her guts splatter everywhere. Two seconds after this happens, the black girl says

"I'm really hungry for some baked beans"

Next thing I know, Anton, Matt Damon, the black girl and I are in a kitchen. While me and the black girl are sitting at a table, Matt Damon and Anton are standing over a stove, working really hard at making some delicious baked beans for her. I ask her, "Why did you say that you wanted baked beans". She responds, "Some of the stuff that burst out of her head looked like baked beans, so it made me hungry for baked beans" . I scooch away from her.

Last time I slept, I had this dream where I found a hippo in my sister's room, on the table with mouth open, it looked like it was dead because it didn't move. There were bags all over her room cause we're moving.

When I came back it wasn't on the table, and I told my sister about it.. kind of went like this:

Sister: *shocked look on her face* What? Hippo, really?
Me: Yes--
Sister: OMG!
Me: Yes, a hippopotamus!
Sister: It was dead though, right?
Me: Yeah I think so,
Sister: *relieved* Thank God. Where is it?
Me: I don't know.. I think it's over there in the suitcase.

Me: but you know isn't it really strange?
Sister: You mean disgustingly scarey.
Me: I thought I was dreaming 'cause, I mean, if there was a cow in my room I'd freak.. But a hippo? Now that's CRAZY!
Sister: No, I'd still totally freak if I saw a cow here.




When I woke up I was like "Woah.. a hippo!? Aaah, you WERE dreaming you idiot!"

From last night:

I meet my dad and go in his car:

Me: That's what I call a real coincidence! Where do we go now?
Dad: We have to take some bread!

After a second or so, the car stops in front of my grandma's house. She died 3 years ago and the house was sold to a lady.

Me: Euu That's not a place where you get bread.
Dad: That's wrong. I know she has bread. You just have to knock at the door and ask for some!

Quite convincing statement. So I go there and ring. I don't know what I have to say. It's quite weird asking a complete stranger for bread. The door opens.

Lady: ... hello?
me: euu hello... how are you?
Lady looks at me suspicious.
me: My grandma used to live here... Eu I wanted to talk with you.
Lady: .... Ok
We are standing there quite awkwardly.
me: ... may I enter?
lady: ok, feel yourself at home.

I enter in the living room. Another DC appears next to me. Apparently, he entered also.

Lady: Take a seat.
I feel quite unease
Me: No thanks I and my colleague prefer to stand.

The DC let fall himself in the sofa and takes the shoes off. I look at him kind of disturbed. He takes a scrabble book and a pen out of his suit. He starts speaking like a guy from FBI

DC: We heard that you, euuh
he looks at a page
DC: ... Misses Marple? Is that right?
lady: Yes
DC: Ok, we heard that you earn
he looks again at his book
DC: ... some delicious bread? Do you know what consequences this has?
Marple: That's not true! Get out of my house!

Suddenly a lot of men in suits get into the house.

DC: Arrest her and get her out of here!

Five men take har, tie her up and pull her out of the room.

Marple [shouting]: I demand me release immediately! You have no right to do this!
DC to some other guys: Go in the basement and look for the bread! Now!

They go away to look for the bread. I'm confused The guys come back with a slice of bread. the DC takes it and gives it to me

DC: here you have your bread! Enjoy it!

xD

Originally Posted by grischkaja008

from last night:

roflmfao

I heard an odd conversation between two DCs last night. Apparently I was in a cartoon, and I was on a glass-bottomed boat. There were two teenaged guys standing near me. This was their conversation after we saw a monster fish, that looked up at the boat and roared:

DC 1: LOL! The big tuna rawreded at us! hi fishy!
DC 2: Stop. It`s pissed at us, because we ate its lover.
DC 1: I can make a fishy face.
DC 2: You`re going to be fishy food in a second if you don`t stop being stupid.
DC 1: You just want to do me.
DC 2: ...I told you not to tell anyone! *Points to me* Now she knows.
DC 1: Why do you care? She`s just a random girl. We`ll never see her again.
DC 2: She created us...

Yeah... I don`t know.

Originally Posted by silverdreams92

DC 2: ...I told you not to tell anyone! *Points to me* Now she knows.
DC 1: Why do you care? She`s just a random girl. We`ll never see her again.
DC 2: She created us...

Yeah... I don`t know.

LMAO, xD

@Grischkaja's Story: Pretty drastic way to get some bread, huh?

My DC choir teacher gave us a written assessment test on something (not choir related), and I made the highest grade. She was so proud of me, she said...

"Krista, I would love to be your pastor."

Originally Posted by Snowboy

@Grischkaja's Story: Pretty drastic way to get some bread, huh?

There are things that can't wait: when you need some bread, you get some! XD

A posh English DC: "I am stomping right"

Translation: "I am right"

WTF! Doesn't make any sense. LOL.

I am in an English class taking a final, sitting next to 2 DCs. The class is working on the vocabulary part of the final.

DC1: (reading) 'What is something that's hot and delicious?' Umm that would be 'gravy', wouldn't it?
DC2: Isn't it 'the holocaust'?
DC1: That's not the holocaust!
DC2: Yes it is!
DC1: How is that the holocaust?
DC2: Hitler thought burning the Jews was hot and delicious
DC1: Haha no he didn't!!
Random DC: Yeah I think it's the holocaust.

I look at them and laugh at their absurdity

DC1: J's looking at us like we're stupid!
Both of them laugh, and they put down 'the holocaust' as the answer.

Originally Posted by MindGames

I am in an English class taking a final, sitting next to 2 DCs. The class is working on the vocabulary part of the final.

DC1: (reading) 'What is something that's hot and delicious?' Umm that would be 'gravy', wouldn't it?
DC2: Isn't it 'the holocaust'?
DC1: That's not the holocaust!
DC2: Yes it is!
DC1: How is that the holocaust?
DC2: Hitler thought burning the Jews was hot and delicious
DC1: Haha no he didn't!!
Random DC: Yeah I think it's the holocaust.

I look at them and laugh at their absurdity

DC1: J's looking at us like we're stupid!
Both of them laugh, and they put down 'the holocaust' as the answer.

Alrighty, then...

Originally Posted by MindGames

DC2: Hitler thought burning the Jews was hot and delicious.

Cannibal?