Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

''Are you a hersheys chocolate bar? ''

This was in a lucid dream where i completed the Leprechaun task of the month:

A grabbed the leprchaun and his hair immediately got much shorter, i asked him "Did you get a hair cut/" and he replied "No, i have cancer."

Last night...

I woke up on my dream bed and for some reason i was in a bunk bed which i used to share with my brother when we were younger till we were around 18 and 19.. that automatically made me lucid. I wake him up and he looks at me with his toung out about 10 inches,

me: yo man whats up with your tounge why is it out soo much?
my brother: Its the gravitational pull thats making my tounge bigger, you should really look at yourself!
me: I Look down at my pants and "Its" hanging down to the floor.

-- then i woke up and checked myself

HAHAHAHA those last two were hillarious!
Bet you were dissapointed huh deco

Actually, I had a hard-on. Im never dissapointed with it!
Besides I would have been scared, what girl would want one the size of an elephants leg?

haha, yes, true true. maybe an african? (no racism intended african males jsut have extremely huge ding dongs)
ok i got another one, i got this mate we call nomoe, i have NEVER called him in my life, ok maybe once. Neway in this dream i was at my dinner table and my mum says, "you call nomoe ALL the time" and my mate Rachel says "yeh! after breakfast....after tea.... between pisses..." hahahaha woke up laughing my arse off, mainly because of the tone she said it in.

Originally Posted by tommo

haha, yes, true true. maybe an african? (no racism intended african males jsut have extremely huge ding dongs)
ok i got another one, i got this mate we call nomoe, i have NEVER called him in my life, ok maybe once. Neway in this dream i was at my dinner table and my mum says, "you call nomoe ALL the time" and my mate Rachel says "yeh! after breakfast....after tea.... between pisses..." hahahaha woke up laughing my arse off, mainly because of the tone she said it in.
[/b]

Oh man, this topic still makes me pee my pants, honestly PRICELESS!

Originally Posted by bro

Oh man, this topic still makes me pee my pants, honestly PRICELESS![/b]

ha, come on people, type some more, these are hilarious!

Last night, after a talking cat named Lyca poked me in the neck with a pin:

Lyca: "Hah! Got your blood!"

Because yesterday I went to asher's site about his cat named Lyca (lyca.com)

Originally Posted by MartinB

And one more:
Random Guy: "This might sound really weird, but do you know what I think is really sexy?"
Me: "What?"
Random Guy: "When you look at the trees and how they keep going off into infinity."[/b]

That's probably my favorite quote from the entire thread.

I saw this thread and it reminded me of something a DC said to me last night that was supposed to be profound:

It was "Imitate; don't irritate." Or maybe, "Irritate; don't imitate."

Seemed like good advice at the time.

I can't remember anything specific, but I remember one dream was entirely a narration of how seagulls poop.
It was funny XD
The rest of this thread is hilarious!

Me: "..So I punched him in the face."

Keith: "Was it like a spinning whirl wind punch?"

Me: "No it was a normal punch."

I remember when I was 7 or 8 or somethin' (I dunno lol), I had a cinematic dream with the usual stuff in it. There was a shot of me and my Dad walking into a house, then a completely different shot came up of a silhouette of a bird sitting on the window. then in a deep voice (and slightly echoing) it said 'BEHOLD THE WEEKEND!". WTF? lol

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

I saw this thread and it reminded me of something a DC said to me last night that was supposed to be profound:

It was "Imitate; don't irritate." Or maybe, "Irritate; don't imitate."

Seemed like good advice at the time.[/b]

You must've listened to Silverchair. A variation of that is in their lyrics.

A Dc told me something that was also suppopsed to be profound:
" Tap on the window, and it shall save you."

I had a crazy lucid last night where I was in weird psychedelic world.
At some point I asked to talk to the "wise man" of the place.
I stood in line to talk to him, and the creature who was before me told the wise man:
"I love science so much, I just got to eat it!!!!!"
The wise man replied: "then eat it as much as you like!"
After that a glowing stream of plasma fell from the ceilling, right into the creature's mouth.

Originally Posted by dodobird

I had a crazy lucid last night where I was in weird psychedelic world.
At some point I asked to talk to the "wise man" of the place.
I stood in line to talk to him, and the creature who was before me told the wise man:
"I love science so much, I just got to eat it!!!!!"
The wise man replied: "then eat it as much as you like!"
After that a glowing stream of plasma fell from the ceilling, right into the creature's mouth.[/b]

AWESOME! I wish I could eat science!!!

Originally Posted by Suby

AWESOME! I wish I could eat science!!![/b]

LOL

I love this thread!
Here's some of mine though they're not as funny as most of them here:

I was looking for something to eat and saw some macaroni pasta on the table:

Me: Is that macaroni???
DC: I call it Screw Mac!

-------------------------

I'd lost some money and ran to a church where I thought I left it. I asked a nun if she'd found it:

Me: I'm sorry to bother you, Sister, but I've left some money here.
Nun: Do you want a can of Vaseline?

On my first and so far only lucid dream, i was cimbing down a pipe when a white fellow with a mexican child told me not to as he was just a DC I warned him to shut it or somthing like that and he replied "im just saying i would take elavator"-we were in the middle of a busy road-highway.

Last night:
13 years old Kid: When we go hiking with school, I want to find a poisonous snake!
me: Why do you want to find a poisonous snake?
kid: because last time I was hiking, a poisonous snake injected me with heroin, and then killed itself!

Hey Everyone!

This is my first post here. I have always loved dreaming, but my interest was heightened ever since I first viewed the superlative movie "Waking Life". And buying the first few movies in the Nightmare on Elm Street series helped (although there are many contradictions and paradoxes in those movies I still enjoyed them)

This is a great forum, and this thread is probably the funniest I have ever read. Here are a few entries from my dream journal: (I hope you like one or two)


1. My sister Courtney and I are walking in an aisle in a classroom. She is in front of me wearing Jeans. Then she does the voice of Ferris Bueller's best friend ( when he uses the Principal's last name of Peterson to trick the snooty Restaurant worker into thinking he is a cop) and says, this is Sergeant Peterson, LAPD! Exactly like the movie! I remember laughing my ass off in the dream.

2. My sister Tracy receives a ransom note, which I read first. It says they want 33 000 dollars by tomorrow. I ask Tracy what she is going to do. She says confidently that she will give them 50 dollars in loose change. I am thinking to myself, I highly doubt that will work!

3. One of my first lucid experiences had me in a bingo hall, or rec center. I ask people what the Lotto 6/49 numbers are going to be for the next draw. 3 or 4 different people give me numbers, but there is always duplicates like 5,7,7,34,34 etc. Samuel L. Jackson tries showing me the numbers, but he decides he has a better way then just saying them or writing them down. He decides to bend paper clips into the numbers to show me. Anyways, the numbers end up being something like 2,3,6,8,23,26. And a woman has a ticket that says June or July 4. (This dream took place on July 1)

4. I am playing soccer in school hallways again from my old high school. I seem to be on a breakaway after ramming a kid hard into the lockers. I approach the green school main entrance door and ask an old teacher how do I score? He says to aim at the pictures of kids from Africa/developing countries that seem to be up on the wall in the porch of the school.

5. There are seats set up, and a podium with a microphone. A real asshole from high school stands up to the mike. He is wearing a very nice suit and looks good actually. He starts making a speech. He says “Congratulations to the crowd, we have the greatest turnout of seniors yet!” He seems proud, but the very funny thing is that in the maybe hundreds if not thousands of seats set up in this park, there is only 3 or 4 seniors attending! (Sitting near the front right). They start talking, like supporting his speech and he yells at them to SHUT UP! It is too fucking funny.

6. In another lucid dream, I am on a balcony with a female priest giving a sermon to her cult followers, whom are standing in a crowd with her in front of them on a large platform. This church is dark, and there are no pews. She looks up at me, and I make a remark like, there is no god, I AM YOUR GOD. And I start floating in the air. She does not seem to impressed and goes on to state that she doesn’t believe in Jesus Christ but Jehovah.

7. I dream about the Simpson’s. Homer is sitting on his couch, talking to a young guy. The young guy might not be animated, I do not remember, but Homer definitely is. This kid is holding up a small bird house. Homer asks: So the Moose fits in thereeeeee? The kid says nooooooo fairly sternly. Then Homer says: Gotcha. But the moose goes in there then? The kids again says nooooo, but more loudly and sternly this time. I wake up laughing hard, it is so funny.

Originally Posted by dodobird

I had a crazy lucid last night where I was in weird psychedelic world.
At some point I asked to talk to the "wise man" of the place.
I stood in line to talk to him, and the creature who was before me told the wise man:
"I love science so much, I just got to eat it!!!!!"
The wise man replied: "then eat it as much as you like!"
After that a glowing stream of plasma fell from the ceilling, right into the creature's mouth.[/b]

Thats so freakin' trippy! I want to have dreams like yours. Do you have crazy psychedelic world dreams often?

Just registered

Me and my friend were playing thrashball against the cole train from Gears of War, and when we got our uniforms, we said something like this:

Mom: I found your uniforms!
Me: WTF!
Friend: We have to wear these queer things?