Thread: How bittersweet is lucid love, securely mentally binding

Prismriver, it's probably a good thing that you are presently unable to see this DC as it will give you a chance to meet someone in the real world. As long as you are "in love" with the DC you won't be able to fall in love with a real person. It's rough going but like the song goes, everybody hurts sometimes. You'll get over it, you'll move on and you'll find love again.

All the best,
DreamQueen

well what i would do is, provided you have control over her, turn her into a guy and maby and ugly one. yeh i does sound funney but if u dont get attactred to guys why would u to this one? its a little odd and maby not the best idea but just trying to help.

Good luck

Originally Posted by Pancaka

Seriously, you can't break up with yourself. I think you should just try to forget about her completely. If she shows up then don't even say anything to her just make her go away. What should probably prevent you from seeing her most is getting a real girlfriend (I don't mean that as an insult in the least).

Thanks, I appreciate the suggestion. =)

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

I see you're at least attempting to think about this problem, so props to you!

Thanks... ^^;

I would still highly recommend seeing a professional about this. They can really help you sort things out. Is there any particular factor stopping you from going like.. right now? Money, perhaps?

Well... how to put this? I don't yet have a driver's license and I'd have a hard time justifying professional help to my parents.

And perhaps further, I've adopted my parents' rather conservative attitude on this kind of thing... I'd much rather try and solve the problem without professional help unless I know for sure I can't do it myself. I can't say I know why, though.

BTW, mind if I ask you your age?

Sixteen years, going on seventeen...

I know it's hard... but the fact of the matter is she isn't real. She doesn't exist. There is no Sarah. You sound like you are wasting your life.. completely, utterly wasting it. I know we put a lot of emphasis on how awesome dreams are, but waking life is amazing too, probably more so.

If you think you're in love with a figment of your imagination, then you really don't know what love is.

I spent a lot of time today thinking about this... I mean, I think I'm slowly starting to come to terms with the whole situation... but it still feels like something in the back of my head is still attached to the character.

I don't know, maybe it'll just take time to sever the remaining bond.

Originally Posted by Funnel

I really don't want to offend you, Tarrant, but this is not a serious problem. Prismriver, you are not crazy, nor are you narcissistic. This has happened to me on a less extreme example, and the feeling does go away if you don't focus so much on it. Yes, it is completely normal to feel like you are heartbroken. Yes, the feelings you have now probably are the same as if you were in a real relationship. People will probably say this is not "love", but do they know what "love" is? Sorry to ruin the magic, but it isn't magic, but boring old neurotransmitters. Here is a good article on the subject http://discovermagazine.com/2003/may...earchterm=love

In short, your brain is releasing oxytocin in the dopamine sectors of your brain, making you feel awesome. Same thing happens with a lot of different events that make you feel good. When you don't see this dream character, the oxytocin stops and you feel bad. Basically, you should probably find a more reliable source of the feel goods, like a real relationship, a rewarding hobby, or heroin. No need to see a psychiatrist.

Ah, thanks for bringing up another way of looking at things... I'm reading through the article now.

Originally Posted by Kael Seoras

You fell deeply in love with somehting that doesn't exist. It's preventing you from loving your life and people in yoru life that do exist. Your sudden loss of the ability to lucid dream is an opportunity to get over this love that cannot end well. Please take it.

Thanks, I will.

Originally Posted by krogen

I wouldn't call this love. It's an obsession.

I don't really see how medication, and most importantly WHAT medication, could help in a state like this. Maybe a slight placebo effect, but nothing more. Psychological help would certainly help much more but I bet that wouldn't be sufficient enough either.

If you can forget about her for a couple of hours, that's good. Now, this might sound a little silly, but every time you think of her, punish yourself. Hit yourself really hard, but not too hard, for example. Then set yourself a goal such as, "I will not think of her today". If you make it all the way through, reward yourself, and give yourself a longer goal. Though she will probably lurk her way in into your mind again and again, clear your mind and try to repress these thoughts as hard as you can. You probably won't forget about her anytime soon, but you will eventually reach a point when you could say that she no loner exists in your life and you moved on.

Good luck.

I'll try that... thanks.

Originally Posted by Kael Seoras

Focus on the things in your life that make you happy - your waking life. Enjoy those things to the fullest. Whenever you are doing something that makes you happy don't let the thought of her spoil it. Cry yourself to sleep at night but come daytime suppress the bitter thoughts. Time will pass, and you'll soon find you're not crying yourself to sleep anymore.

This works, trust me. It's how I got over a guy I loved in waking life. Since for you there doesn't seem to be much difference between dream life and waking life it should work for your dream life love.

Again, thank you for understanding... I'll try this.

Though I wouldn't say that there's not much difference between the two... I just don't think that dream life and waking life are as separate as they're made out to be.

Originally Posted by AlexLou

It's an unusual problem, but I don't think there's any reason to question your mental health. Plenty of people develop feelings for celebrities, and movie and TV characters, complete with fantasy relationships. I think that for many this just part of being young . . . and perhaps a bit socially isolated. As you get older you'll hopefully develop more control over who you fall in love with. For now you'll just have to deal with the heartbreak. I have no doubt that your feelings are quite real even though the girl is imaginary.

And guys, don't knock going to talk to a psychologist. Speaking to a professional about your stresses can improve well-being for even the most sane individual. If you have good health insurance it only costs $10-$15 to go talk to someone, so if something's bringing you down, why not? There are also school psychologists, and they are free to talk to.

Thanks for offering an explanation. =)

As far as school psychologists go, well, I'm homeschooled. =/

Originally Posted by DreamQueen

Prismriver, it's probably a good thing that you are presently unable to see this DC as it will give you a chance to meet someone in the real world. As long as you are "in love" with the DC you won't be able to fall in love with a real person. It's rough going but like the song goes, everybody hurts sometimes. You'll get over it, you'll move on and you'll find love again.

All the best,
DreamQueen

First, I appreciate the encouragement... it means a lot.
Second, thanks for referencing a brilliant song by a brilliant group =)

Originally Posted by zekobu

well what i would do is, provided you have control over her, turn her into a guy and maby and ugly one. yeh i does sound funney but if u dont get attactred to guys why would u to this one? its a little odd and maby not the best idea but just trying to help.

Good luck

Well, I appreciate the help, but... yeah, I've been having considerable trouble with lucidity lately. I probably wouldn't be able to try this...


In any case, thanks again to everyone who posted, it's really helping me out.

Get a real girl. It is a lot better than a girl in your mind.

Also, 300th post for me!

Yea , ive had dreams were i felt in love with a DC, and upon waking from this beautiful dream relationship ive been hella sad, sometimes for a day or two which made me feel wierd, but eventually it just passed, your scenario is a bit wierder i guesse.