It sounds like the biggest issue is the line between dream and reality, and if you say regular reality checks do nothing for you, you need a definite way of determining when you enter the dream, and keep the unreality of the experience in the forefront of your mind.

From there you can start to take greater control and if a DC bitchslaps you for thinking it's a dream, explain to him/her exactly why it is a dream, demonstrate it to them so that even they know that it's all nothing but a product of you sub-conscious.

Your greatest gift in this whole thing is that you have memory of your waking life, use it in your dream.

If you can't take control, I advise serious psychiatric help in case you do have some kind of dissociative disorder (you certainly don't want to confuse your waking life with a dream and set yourself on fire where it will definitely have corporeal consequences :/ )