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    6 Visitor Messages

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      Thank you! It was. I am 37 now (eek!). Hope you are doing well, too
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      To your visitor message, yep, I'm alright. Was gone for a while since I didn't really have the time to lucid dream. Lots of things happened. Thanks for the message.
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      This is weird...
    4. Now, see what you've gone and done?
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      Hello.
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      Heheh, you got it! I'm surprised anyone would actually figure it out!
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    About DarkestDarkness

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    About DarkestDarkness
    Biography:
    My intro here on DV:

    https://www.dreamviews.com/introduction-zone/164524-hello-everyone.html
    How you found us:
    Some years ago after reading about lucid dreaming I looked for communities but never joined any; this was one of those communities that I saw but did not enter.

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    Check out the Tasks of the Season - Autumn 2022
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    Singled out from some of my favourite quotes from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: "Risks of [Planet] flowering: considerable. But rewards of godhood: who can measure? - Usurper Judaa'Maar: Courage: to question."

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    Recent Entries

    cccxcix. On canyons/adventure with T, Cutting down a streetlight

    by DarkestDarkness on 08-22-2022 at 02:28 AM
    2022 July 4th

    Long dream. Left recall a bit late and wasn't sure how to describe some bits. Didn't sleep well.

    Fragment:

    In the first part I am with H and another couple. We are in some kind of airport place? There's not that many people. I offer to pay for a trip to Germany to the other couple, which might be where they're from. I have some ulterior motive (can't recall what).

    (recall gap)

    Me and H arrive at some building in a car and then we have to go through some kind of trials and it's a bit like a game? The first notable room I recall is like a theatre hall and a bit of a church. It's kind of low for the type of hall it is. The wood in the hall seems to have a yellow tone like it's all gold leafed. Red curtains.

    (recall gap)

    Then I'm somewhere else with sibling T. Somewhere more like an industrial complex but on canyons. We try to connect some power things but I'm not sure what they do.

    (recall gap)

    In a similar kind of canyon area with floating sections and things like that. We are struggling to find the way from one floating section to the underside of an arching canyon. I use a kind of grapple thing and make it. On this small underside ledge, there is a mouth-like opening and clawed tentacles await and look aggressive. I keep myself teetering on the edge and holding on to the rock above with my left hand, using some weapon on my right hand to slowly pick off all the tentacles. My brother doesn't try to jump to the same ledge. After I've killed all the tentacles, I step toward the mouth opening and feel a bit annoyed this is the only way down. I don't particularly feel like getting wet. It looks fleshy at first but as I make my way down its oesophagus the experience seems to become more neon/digital and less accurate.

    (recall gap)

    In a more abstract place in which we have to run through over these procedural platforms and kill enemies. It feels like a CoD game.

    (rest of recall lost)



    2022 July 9th

    Dream:

    I'm outside on a street. I'm cutting down a streetlight post using one of my palette knives. Somehow, I'm managing alright to cut through the thick steel. But as I apply force, eventually the handle gives and breaks off from the blade.

    Then I'm indoors at home. I'm asking H to fix the palette knife and saying I need to go back quickly to finish it. I mention that the wires inside could be live and half jokingly H says we could do with the insurance money.

    Before that, outside on those same streets. They're not from any waking location. Looks more like from a game. Some house appears and disappears when I look in a certain direction. Before that I'm talking to mom but still in this place. I'm asking her about some hallucinations. She tells me that it could be because of the person I work for(?), inheriting their psychic stresses or something.

    Scraps:

    Earlier. Something at some kind of hotel place. (from earlier awakening)

    V messaged me saying hello on Discord. I reply "Oh, hey" but can't recall anything else.



    Notes:
    - The oesophageal segment is probably the most memorable part of that dream, as at the time of writing this over a month later it's one of the few bits I can recall clearly, visually. It's also one of few occasions I've had of such nature, I think all of which have only happened in the last few years, despite the fact that themes of "consumption" have always been with me.
    -- On spending a bit more time re-reading the dream, some of the rest of visual elements have come back to me. Some of the floating/canyon areas have similarities with some BL biomes.

    - I think when I replied to V's message, that dream had ended and I woke up at that time.

    cccxcviii. Breaking into a shop, Helping Trump, Police central AI computer

    by DarkestDarkness on 08-22-2022 at 02:16 AM
    2022 July 2nd

    Left recall until late in the day. This one might be in DFLN but I'd have to go find it for linking.

    Fragment:

    I'm outside, night time. I'm with H and we're by some shop or similar place? H works here apparently and he wants to get inside for some reason but it's all closed, so he smashes a window and we get inside. I forget what we do or look for, but I worry about him losing his job for it. (not actually his job)

    (recall gap)

    At some kind of hotel/casino place. I'm at a sub-level lobby, there are some sofas and other comfort things. There's also a slot machine in a corner by a sofa. I'm sitting on the sofa and try out the slot machine one time. It spins and I win, not the best amount it could pay out, but something like 1837? Then I get distracted by someone like Donald Trump who's in the room with me now, I just know that he apparently owns the casino place. He's not feeling too well and we talk about it, possibly something he's eaten. I either tell him I'll get him some help or get him to come to the nearby lift with me.

    (recall gap)

    Something in a similar area, likely still part of the same segment. Elizabeth II is here and is taking part in some kind of tour? There's also some sort of activism going on.



    2022 July 3rd

    Fragment:

    I'm at a dream version of a mix of my old home and the house we live in now. It's early morning, something like 4AM. I am down in the kitchen area which has large sliding pane windows that are also doors, rather than latching windows. Outside, I see police officers in the backyard patio area. The patio has stone flags and a garden table and chairs, as well as some planters. At first I dismiss this and presume they are just being thorough and that they are here because of a neighbour.

    Then a bit later I'm somewhere else in the house, possibly upstairs, and a police officer lady talks to me and tells me that they have to search our house. I don't understand why and feel a bit reluctant and emotional, possibly getting in their way a bit. She tells me that they didn't want to but that it's procedure as set out by the "central AI computer" which tells them what to investigate or something. I still feel distressed by their searching but feel more accepting of it now that they've told me that's it's just something they have to do because the AI told them to.

    Later they're gone and I'm in a version of our bedroom with H; he was asleep through all of this and I'm still a bit distressed as I tell him all about everything that happened.

    (recall gap)

    At one point I'm somewhere in the USA and I get away from California just in time to miss some massive quakes there. I'm in Arizona now maybe? Here there are very large fires or something but I feel safer. Something about a transit hub and talking to people.

    cccxcvii. In a car with mom, As a woman for a party, Talking with Hilary, At a supermarket, Rural

    by DarkestDarkness on 07-15-2022 at 06:58 PM
    2022 June 30th

    Very disjointed. Left recall too late. Would like to make some proper side notes for this one too at some point.

    Dream (DFLN):

    I'm in a car in a town with mom. She's driving me around in a large and modern Nissan, trying to get me to a local airport I think. There are roadworks just about every way she thinks of taking. I try to suggest some routes she can take but she doesn't seem to want to listen to them and possibly mentions something about the fact that she's driven here for X many years and so on.

    (recall gap)

    I'm at some kind of palatial building, here for a fancy party or ball. I'm in what is my guest room at one point. I'm a woman, except for my private areas. Someone I met just earlier (forget who) left me a dress here in the room and I think about putting it on. It's a very simple dress and is a cream colour, slightly darker than my skin tone. I have wavy hair, possibly fake blonde. Putting the dress on in bed, I think about how a dress will still be revealing of male private parts. I feel uncomfortable with this but don't see what I can do about it and reason to myself that people generally don't look to that sort of area and that I can to do things like sit down and such to possibly not make it as noticeable.

    A bit later I'm at a dinner at a long table. The fancy palatial theme remains. This theme seems to feature primarily white, cream/pink and gold as colours. Somewhat plain while still being lavish.

    (recall gap)

    I'm still a woman. I'm with Hilary. (from DV, i.e., here!)

    We're talking about dreams and artwork. I am supposed to have made three artwork commissions for her but I haven't made them yet and feel guilty. We're somewhere outside and it's night time. It's grassy and open, I'm not sure there's anything taller in the horizon that I can see.

    In the sky I see the three commission ideas fading in and out as stars. The first one is a crescent moon, the second a side portrait of a woman with hair tied back, and finally something else which I've lost recall of. Hilary doesn't seem upset with me for not having finished these commissions yet, but I still feel disappointed with myself.

    We talk a bit more and then she takes me to some physical threshold, maybe a door. I think she wants me to come with her to a dream?

    (recall gap)

    I'm my usual self again and at a bulk buy super market. Possibly a Makro (which I don't think I've ever been to). I am unfamiliar with the layout but I look around for things with confidence.

    I find some frozen chips and think about the price. I see they cost 2.1 for 2.5 and I reason that at 1.5 for 1.5 normally, this is slightly better and I grab a bag. Then, I wander the shop trying to think what else I want and as I feel like I actually didn't want much more, the shop also gets noticeably smaller and is more like a convenience store now.

    I look around again and see some socks, making me think that H might like some but I don't know the size and I don't want any for myself because they look too loose. I see a basement stairs bit and there's a bunch of plushies in a large metal cage basket thing next to the stairs. I think about getting some. They feel fluffy. They cost 60 each though and I think to myself that I really can't afford to pay this for a plushie and feel a little sad. At this point I also start to feel self-conscious and don't check out downstairs, which seemed to have Lego and more toys. So I leave to go the tills. At some point a fat man near me is coughing and I think I comment that I just had COVID and don't really want to get it again so soon.

    (recall gap)

    I'm in a rural area. It's late afternoon. I'm with two men, dream characters I think. They are messing around a bit and one has a mini bike thing (7D2D intrusion?). I am on a field side of a wooden fence and they're on the road. As I walk along, I come to a tan coloured cow. She's on the floor and at first I think she's asleep, but then I see the side of her muzzle and see it looks to be rotting, with a hole about the size of a gold ball and with some tendons showing through or something. Difficult to describe. I feel somewhat unsettled and I'm also worried for the farmer now. But I think we should get out of here before we get mistaken for having done something to the cow.

    We go up a small hill road and we come to a building with a store or something. Then there are four of us and we decide something about super powers. Then inside a building it's a bit like a factory or foundry.

    (rest of recall was too vague)
    Categories
    non-lucid , memorable , side notes

    cccxcvi. Small dream country, Needing help to find embassy, Fancy house

    by DarkestDarkness on 07-15-2022 at 06:39 PM
    2022 June 27th

    Some bracketed in-line notes. I need to return to this dream and make some fuller notes when I feel able to, hopefully soon.

    Fragment:

    Something about a (dream) country relating to the Iberian peninsula. This small country is located just over the north east of the USA at where a tip of Canada would be and seems to be in-between these two countries. I see some statistic or just know that there are less than 1.5 million inhabitants. (Oddly enough, on one of the weeks after this dream, I was looking at this general region with satellite views, based on some conversations I was having with LF)

    (recall gap?)

    Then I'm in my native country but I'm a character that's not me exactly. I need to get to the embassy on one side of a plaza, something about a passport? It's night time and there's a large government building on one side of the plaza with a few prominent uplighting spots. Neo-classical or classical-revivalist architecture. There are police officers in the area, probably due to this building. I think one of them comes over to me when I wander more to the middle near the government-y building. The officer turns out to be a woman and I ask where the embassy is. She tries to help me but after a while of her taking me through some streets and construction sites I start to wonder if my interests are at heart.

    At one point I notice some workers at a construction site giving me/us a funny look or something? Some part of me thinks that it's odd that there's construction work going on at night.

    (recall gap)

    Then I'm at a fancy house place. Lots of detailed cornicing and mirrors on the walls and ceilings which have some kind of abstract Greek themed theatrical show going on, it looks like it's projected but I don't see any projector and may assume that the surface is able to display something like a screen would, despite its curved contours. There's a largely classical theme. The walls and cornicing are all white and it's fairly bright in here, though there's something of a mood light thing going on, mostly cool tones.

    I'm here with my cousin T and H. T's wearing some kind of cream or pink silk pyjamas and I rest my head on her crotch and I close my eyes and she pets and strokes my head. I think about how it'd be inappropriate if I became aroused and I also think about how I might not be able to help it. I hold on to or hug her leg. (Similarities to having been awake and holding H, possibly partly awake as this dream segment was happening)

    Then we show her to her bed, in size it's somewhere between a single and a double and she gets upset notably upset about this. I think the room is dark/we didn't switch the lights on?



    Notes:
    - I'm not sure what would have been the source for the first segment in this fragment, but I can recall some years ago I had a discussion with a friend (K) on the subject of countries with lower populations.

    - I feel that for some weeks now I've been having dreams that are on parallel to schemas like that of the second segment here. Dreams in which I'm not strictly speaking my normal "self" as a character and in which I have all the same type of agency, decisions and worries as I normally would. Sort of related, today (16th of July) I wrote a bit on another journal about the somewhat lengthy absence of any other inner voices or personalities and a general absence of visual imagination among other things.
    -- In reality I'm not sure how frequently I've been having these dreams (of "not myself" exactly) because I haven't thought of a tag or way of categorising them, and right now I'm thinking that I should go back through my DJ a bit at some point and find out how many instances there really are and how far back do they go; it's possible that at the moment I'm just paying more attention to this particular type of schema.

    - As hinted towards, I have recently had some worries/thoughts about passport renewal and sort of by extension also about travelling. Specifically, to my old home.

    - T's presence in this dream follows common patterns that the rest of her appearances in have in my dreams, but I can't remember any time specifically in which she got as upset as in this dream, about the bed. As I recall, I understood in the dream that she was upset that the bed wasn't big enough. Even in the dream, the way she stroked my head reminded me of what it was like to be a child.
    -- I think segments like this one in dreams call me to create a different journal with a different complexity from what I've been doing. This type of DJ simply cannot fit into it the type of analysis that some of these dreams practically seem to be demanding of me.

    Updated 07-16-2022 at 07:35 PM by DarkestDarkness

    Categories
    non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes

    cccxcv. "Chapeling", Red hand portal, Dithering at a car park

    by DarkestDarkness on 07-07-2022 at 03:00 PM
    2022 June 21st

    Fragment:

    Me and H travel to a place called Chapeling that's apparently near London in southern England. It's a 300 mile drive from where we were? We go there to have a look at this small pipe organ that sits in a little chapel building which is beside a main church building.

    Overcast day outside. Town streets and so on.


    2022 June 22nd

    Fragment:

    Something about showing someone a little organ. At some kind of concert or theatre hall, a vast one at that, but the wood all seems very bare like all its polish has worn off and nobody has taken care of the place for a while.

    (recall gap)

    Something about needing to get some homework done. I have my black laptop bag with me and whatever I need for my homework is in there I think. I keep being distracted or pulled away from doing it and later I am climbing some kind of abstract structure made up of large red long nailed bony hands. It's part of some kind of dimensional portal or threshold.

    Later, on the other side of said portal. Something about Warcraft 3 game mechanics. I want to buy a mini town hall item and destroy a human settlement to take their gold mine.


    2022 June 25th

    Fragment:

    I'm outside, at a Lidl car park. It's about seven in the morning and it's light but not as bright as it should be for this time of the year. I'm deciding whether I should get closer and do some shopping or not. There's a white man in the parking lot. He's getting some stuff ready round the back of his car. At some point I realise the shop won't be open for another hour at least. I dither about for a while, wondering if I should bother crossing the road and going back home or if I should just wait it out. I think it may have felt a bit cool outside.



    Notes:

    - Trying to look for a place called "Chapeling" somewhere near London didn't really result in anything. I suspect the location name in the dream was simply tied to the context of the attached chapel. I've not heard the word before, not in any situation that I can think of anyway, but it's a fairly straightforward construction and likely easily created by automatic and associative dream logic and the like.

    - Unfortunately, I've lost any visual recall I might have had of the abstract structure made up of red hands, which is a shame really because these are often the type of things I like to try and recreate in art. I might still try recreating something alike if I can think of a composition I like.
    -- I still have some visual recall of the rest of the dreaming in this entry, at the time of writing.

    - For some reason I've come to use dithering as an expression more often of late; it's not a new expression to me, but it's not one I've typically used a lot.