Hopeless Wanderings

I haven't been on my dream recall game lately but today I was smacked with a couple lucids during a nap. I think I might have gotten lucid a total of 3 times, but these are the two I remember the best:

I was napping and kept going in and out of sleep, or at least that's what I thought. I was pretty much aware the whole time that I was dreaming. So, in this dream I was standing in a cafeteria at some kind of workplace or something, looking at a microwave. I realized, "hey, I'm dreaming, I have to remember this." So, what to do? I looked around the cafeteria and there's a door open and outside is an ocean and a beautiful, fake sunset. I contemplate flying out into the sunset but figure I'd done that enough, so decided to try to summon M. I stared at the back of a lady's head and focused. When she turned around, it was just some old woman. So, I tried to summon Andrew. I focused really hard with my hand out in front of me and made him appear, but his face and body were so glitchy I could barely tell who it was. Then I lost it, and I "woke up".

I heard music coming from down the stairs, and I thought it was my grandpa playing music. Then, I heard music coming through my ears. It was the Avett Brothers. I figured I must have fallen asleep with my headphones on, and was annoyed because I thought it would be hard to sleep with the music, even though all this itself was part of a dream. I "wake up" in my bed, know that I am dreaming. I go down the stairs and see my grandpa sitting on the couch, but decide to ignore him. I think of what my dream goals are, and remember one of them is to build something. I think about building a bridge on the lake but it's too far away and I'm scared I'll wake up trying to get there. So instead, I crouch on the floor and put my hand out. I focus hard and make a toy wood log appear. I decide to make a toy log house. I get the base down, but can't get any further before I wake up for real.

Even though I'm not recording my dreams on the daily, I feel like I'm getting better at being more aware while dreaming.

E. I was in this park, there was this black picnic table and this guy named.. Justin? He seemed like he needed help. So I went over to him and asked him if he was alright. He said he was completely fine, nothing wrong with him. There was a black journal notebook on the table. I picked it up and screened through it, looking for a note. But all that was there were complex math problems. I just got the feeling that soon he would not be okay, so I told him that I would be around, and he can call me any time. I then flew upwards, swimming towards the sky.

In a fragment, I was on a tall ledge inside some kind of mall or building. I was there with Brittany, my mom, and Brittany's mom. All of a sudden, both of our moms jumped off the ledge. For a second I felt like time stopped, my mom was dead, my life was over. And then I realized, hey, this is stupid. This is a dream. So I walk away to go do something fun but lose it.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

my sleep patterns have been all kinds of messed up recently, so while I'm trying to fix that here's a short, sweet entry:

I was being chased by this person in this maze of a thousand rooms. Each room was completely different from the previous, and it was actually pretty cool. I was going so fast, opening a new door that would lead to a new room each time. I stopped in one room, and there was a table with a bowl on top. This is when I kinda had to take a poop, and I sorta realized I was dreaming. I thought to myself, "hey wouldn't that be funny if I took a shit on this fancy ass table?" So I got up on there but I think I woke before I did the deed.

I'm with Allie P. and I'm trying to buy sushi but my wallet is missing, so I ask Allie if I can borrow some money, she gives me her credit card. I sit at a table and there's a bunch of scary looking dolls. I'm trying to count some foriegn money and put the dolls together to pay her back(idk).

I'm at a camp, might be a prison camp but not really, and I'm standing by a large pool and some guys. One guy kicks my pen into the pool and I get angry so I push him into the water, but he sinks to the bottom, pushes off to the top to get air, sinks again, repeat. I realize he can't swim and it's 20 feet deep. After awhile of this I know I have to save him even though I'm scared of the water. I jump and and save him and everyone cheers. Then, it becomes a game. People start fake drowning and whoever can rescue their person the fastest wins. I played one round and won.

Someone at camp had plans to kill another camper and then herself. Somehow I knew this but no one else did. T was there, watching or something, I don't remember. I go into ES mode and I follow the girl. I sort of know that this isn't really happening and I want to make it more interesting so I turn on my iPod to the song Car Radio. The guy that the girl was after was now hanging from a fence, blood dripping down his mouth. I go up to him and say, "Listen, everything is going to be alright, ok?" and he nods. I want to talk to the girl but I don't know what to say.


thinking: maybe T was watching for a reason, like I was trying to figure out what to do and what to say but didn't know and she knew. hmm..

T is dead IRL and I have been trying to summon her so it was surprising that she showed up in this non-lucid.

Just a fragment and some short dreams but really trying to work on dream recall!

-in the mountains, beautiful mountains

-I was at a Taylor Swift concert, I got front row. TW was singing and, at one point, held onto my shoulder and sang to me. I was sooo happy and was thinking, "if only I could have gotten a picture with her, but oh well, just this memory is enough!" and then she went back on the stage and started singing a song by another artist.

-there was a group of kids and a male swimming instructor. All the kids were black girls and had matching hair and bathing suits. The swim instructor told them to do front flips into the water, and one by one they did, except for one kid who wanted to show off. She got a running start and jumped so far she ended up reaching the ledge on the other side of the pool and crashing into it.

Happy New Year!! I got a great start to mine - a nice solid lucid!
For the past week I have been working hard to try to lucid dream and remember my dreams. It's starting to pay off! though my dream recall still SUCKS.

early dreams:

I was in the mountains. It was so incredibly beautiful and I wanted to move there but things kept holding me back and I was so sad about it. I wanted to stay in those snow covered towering high mountains forever.

I was in caves. I was lucid and and excited. It seemed to last awhile and I let the dream take me wherever, part of which I remember crawling through caves. Eventually though, I lost the lucidity and the caves became scary.

My boyfriend woke me and said goodbye and went off to work. I knew I had to try to fall asleep so I could get a lucid in!

I was in my old house with my parents, sister, and grandpa. It was painted all white and empty except furniture. Everyone was sad and stressed for some reason. My sister was eating something like trail mix, she started choking and I said, "are you ok??" and she says, "no" but I realize she is fake choking. My dad says something like, "she just wanted you to practice your emotions." WTF. I was angry. I stormed off to my old room and there I find my mom, smoking a cigarrette, and my grandpa on the floor with his eyes closed, he looked dead but wasn't. I say, "hey, I need a cigarette!(neither of us smoke IRL) and take it from her and take a huff. Then my sis comes in and joins.

I am in my bed, which is kind of like a bunk bed, and start going to sleep. This is a dream itself though, and my mom is walking around. I try to block her out, close my eyes. I get warped into a new dream, I am standing in the living room. It's night time and I'm staring at the giant window that's decorated in xmas decorations and a bunch of lights. I focus on one to stabilize the dream, and it works. I don't know what to do, but I don't want to stay inside so I go out into the night. I notice a few things, like the tree in the front yard by the driveway, a giant blow up snow globe santa thing, and on the street two cars are parked. Standing by the cars are two girls, around my age. I walk up and see they are digging through stuff in their cars. I stand in front of one of the girls. She has blond straight hair, with smokey makeup and long earrings. We start dancing and a song blares in the background, it sounds to be a young but seasoned singer and I try to remember the lyrics. "Desire is a compassion burned fire" We dance and it's amazing and then we KISS and it's fire. I decide to wake up after this because I thought my mom had been waiting for me to wake up, even though that part was just a dream. I wake up in my real bed.