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MY valk failed me , I feel I was coming home from dreamwork and my trusty valk was riding me home in my new dreamhome and i remember the window was open and light was on and my valk I was guiding my trusty valk to fly me into the window, where I remember is my home. And thoughts ran into like my neighbours woud hear my comingm from the window but used to it. I pay me neighbour and I remember coming into this window several times by bird. I just don't remember the insides. Or anything. And I circled around the roof a few times but never made it inside. I simply woke up.. :'(
It's soo sad because I was so tired and wanted to go sleep in my new dream house. I even felt my valk was kinda like, yep I faild. I can't land...
That's all I remember even though I remember a little about moving in.. I don't feel like I can ever go back to this dream even tho it felt so real..
omg. its so saddd
Soo.. My friend has regular night terrors cause she got raped twice. and she fears it still.
She just has a lot of night terrors. For some reason I dream of her being very frightened in the night. In this dream she was living next to me and had a boyfriend over. I heared her having sex... I did not want to disturb her sexy moments so i made to my room next to her. She gets awfully loud. I kinda get excited myself. Then her boyfriend gets harder with her. Suddenly she doesn't seem to have so much fun and she is screeching in terror. [I didn't want to intrude in her sexcepade because it's non of my business. ] rather, a voice in my mind said ; 'go help her' or something .
earlier - iemand liet mij verschillende klassieke componisten zien
4-11 - Wern, lsd spugen, heb je alles op? vroeg hij disappointed. Yep, manic, lol.
5-11 - Lauren tillen, winkelstraten, zwaar, kon het redden.
5-11 - mountaintop, ice-climbing with people/family and dad. Have no ice-boots just sport shoes. Fall a little, dangerous. Use holes of other people's boots to hold on to and climb and make holes myself to hold onto, fel like i can fall, feels comfortably safe. come to the top. lie on the peak with my belly. saw my dad there before, saw someone jump off and slide down the mountain. the peak looks like the inside ring of a tree. (dad) looks at me as if that should be obvious. i'm the only one that fits there, someone wants to get up, nobody can come up there before i slide off. i'm afraid to look down and feel like i lose the nerve to just slide off safely.
I'm in the living room sitting next to my mother and my father on a couch 90' in front of us.
I'm pissed and expressing this because during the dream I realize that my father is not my father who is Terence Mckenna. (Terence Mckenna I look up to as a father figure during age 16-20)
Thoughts come up lke, Who is this man? My father is on work-vacation this guy can't be here.
Then my anger gets suddenly directed towards my mother; "If that's not my father, that guy there is ur secret lover!"
"But Terence Mckenna is dead since 2000. That means this guy has pretended to be my father for almost all my life!"
I become more angry at my mother bc her response is not of a real person either. I think subconsciously all this was realizing that these figures in my dreams are not real.
My mother goes on saying, he'll prove that he is real by drinking a glas of whiskey.
"Yeah right? How's that gonna prove anything" He then proceeds to say to break a glass. I'm like, fuk no, give me that glass I will break it. I can't break a coffee glass. I take a little weaker glass and I break it, hardly. I am semi-satisfied. But still kinda pissed at this whole situation and I walk out the door. My mother and father both looking very busy.
I am curious what these programs are doing now. I re-open the door.
In this split-second their whole demeanour has changed. Their faces both look extremely intently at me. They stare at me with eyes of excited exticipation. They show no further sighns of sentience or anything. It's so creepy that I wake up.
I find myself lucid upon re-entry to dreaming. The LD is not so interesting.
Total time in lucidity; ~45 minutes.
Recall about a minute's worth..
I'm in my home and I am lucid, Yet, I can't do much dream control. I smash some windows by throwing things. During all this I wake up. I think I really woke up once, then I was like, nah, i'm going back in this LD, and I did, then I had false awakenings, I'm still in my home, during this I throw things at windows because I Believe i'm in a LD. I feel kind of guilty because now I've really thrown shit broken.I remember what someone said on my FB dreaming group about being unsure if ur dreaming or not. How that can be awkward. I see that now, the window is broken. I do a breathing reality check later.
I'm more naturally lucid later and find myself outside;
It starts out angry and excited. It's been months since i've been lucid in dreams. I've feel really trapped in materialism. I am excited to be free. I am frustrated that I am not able to exert basic dream control. I'm still stuck in the laws of the physical dream. I smash a lot of glass at home. I make it the roof and all. There seems to be no people. I don't want to be in my home-town. I remember clearly that I wanted to go to BakingNomad's Appartment. I try closing my eyes and when I open them, I'm there. I've tried a few methods. I got so pissed that I'm still in my home-town that I used that energy to lunge myself into the ground and go underground. This works, but underground is still very similar to my home-town. (there's a sky and houses, just a slightly different scenery) I remember just before waking up that I should use a mirror and this would probably work. That's a good schema. I instead remember BakingNomad's initial guide in the RPG. I stop and do nothing. I breathe. I enjoy the dream. This is the calmest, most serene and probably the most enjoyable moment of the dream, albeit short. Clarity and vividness of the dream increases. There was some object moving around my hands? Yet, I am still manic , I find it difficult to stay put. I probably move around.
Someone who I owe money and wasn't happy i didnt pay him back sent his 'hitmans' he talked about to me.
They are at my window , I am hiding behind the couch just below the window. I get kinda fucked cus there's a whole bunch of spiders and my head it right in their web. I hope they leave soon, I exit my head.
They are leaving, they are taking a break, coming back later.