Thread: 1000+ ways to get kicked out of walmart

#1. Run down the isles, naked, screaming racial slurs at the top of your lungs (at every opportunity) for as long as you can, before getting caught.

2. Walk in wearing only a shirt and shoes. If questioned, state that the sign on the door mentions nothing of pants.

3. Put a cone on your head and and spin like a top at a checkout lane allowing no one to use it.

4. Run in with Nerf dart-guns then if someone laughs stab them, rinse and repeat.

5. Hack the T.V. Displays to all show porn

6. jack off to said porn while still in the store

7. Do this...

8. masturbate
9: masturbate someone else
10: rape someone
11. jump up and down nude saying gubgubgugbgugbgugbgugbgugb
12. lick the condoms they have there
13. lick the cashier
14. lick the cashiers dick
15. lick the cashiers vagina
16. call the cashier a whore
18. lick the cashiers dick while he is leaving the store
17. punch a cereal box then say ima not pay for that

18. put hamsters that have been constipated for 8 days into the ears of people buying justin beiber music so the hamsters poop in their head, compare the two.
I'm actually not one of the haters I couldn't care less about the kid but I think it would be kinda cool to make people happy by hurting people they don't like because of the music they listen to!
Dats EFFED UP!
BEAT THAT!

19. Eat all their candy say you won't pay for it. When they ask why you say "BECAUSE YOU JERKS MADE ME FAT!"

20. Paint the entire store to look like a dream setting of a dream you've had.
21. pee on everything in the meat section, then throw it at people.
22.Find something that has to be assembled in the store rip open the box assemble it and use it until arrested.
23. when you hear one of the babies in wal-mart crying and the mother does nothing go over and spank the baby with a brick, then pour drain washer down it's throat.

23. go to the toys section, get all the dora toys and start throwing them all around the floor and everyone you walk screaming "IM THE MAP IM THE MAP"

25.find a pregnant person in wal-mart and abort there child by using hungry hungry hippos
26. If your a dude walk up to another dude in walmart,ask hims his name, and then SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN you have the herps and that *insert name here* should get checked out, and that you are carrying his child.
27. learn to speak like Eric Cartman then play kick the baby in walmart,with a real baby!
28.find every machine in walmart that records and record your voice saying " you are fat, ugly and stupid, you will never be loved. HAHAHA" then set it to play over and over forever then brag about doing it to the walmart employees
29. find someone eating in walmart take their food put the whole thing in your mouth chew it up then spit it into their face.
30. paint your butt on the front door, or take pictures of it and put it on the door.
31. try to strangle a doll to death in front of a little girl.

32: punch someone in the face
33: lick the fruit there
33: beat someone up
34. lick the cashier
35. punch the cashier
36. shoot the cashier
37. take a rope and whip the cashier
38. walk in there wearing nothing but a tie
39. walk in there with your dragon pet charlie and kill everyone with it
40. lick the front door repeatedly

41. Hand out free copies of the anti Wal Mart documentary at their store.

42 smoke a joint.

43 commit suicide.

44. Gross out a vegetarian employee by dangling meat in their face.

(That reminds me... Once a year, the grade 12s at our school skip classes for the day and play a whole bunch of pranks on the teachers and other students. This year, the grade 12s rolled toilet paper down the stairs, parallel-parked their cars bumper-to-bumper across the parking lot so no one could get in or out, and stuffed raw meat into all of our chemistry teacher's science equipment.)

haha I've actually been kicked out of wal-mart before.

45.Shoplift something, then come back the next day and try to exchange it at the customer service desk

46. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles and see how many people you hit. Heads, 3 points. Everything else, 1 point.

47. Bowl down the aisles with whatever you can find in the store, preferably using fragile merchandise for pins.

47+1. avoid reading the whole thread and post something that has already been suggested 10 times or a variation thereof

Originally Posted by Jeff777

haha I've actually been kicked out of wal-mart before.

WELL TELL US HOW!!!!!l

I'm not trying to be a drag, but most of these are too extreme and impractical to be funny, I think.

"Blow up the entire store with everyone in it!!" Come on.

I have done things like:
Tried to convince people that they "NEED to purchase this head of lettuce."
I have tried on the women's dresses.
I have taken one of those little rubber bouncy balls, and slammed it into the floor as hard as I possibly could, and watched it fly across the Wal mart. (Here in hillbillyville, it's "THE wal mart").
I have taken photos of other people's groceries.
I have rearranged the price tags.
I have tied all of the shoelaces together.
I sometimes walked with a friend, down the isle, pretending to tell them a story. Just as the two of us are passing by someone, in that precious ONE SECOND where they can hear us, before they pass, I say to my friend, "Your dog has a NICE ass." or "I left those bodies behind the bench." or "I shouldn't have eaten so many glass shards."
At Home Depot, I grabbed a "No Dumping" sign, and placed it on one of the display toilets.

These kinds of things won't actually get you kicked out, of course. But they are fun. Maybe if you did all of these things in one day...