This is for all the people who send me PM's saying, "OMG make me lucid!"

At first, Raven and I tried it. It never worked. Never. The person would just insist that it wasn't a dream, and say they were thirsty.

So, we gave up.

I found I could become lucid by seeing Man of Shred, for example, because I have only seen him in dreams. But, if he asked me if I know I am dreaming, I would usually say, "no."

Anyway... I have this thing, where if a dream goal is presented to me, I automatically attempt it, as if I can't help myself.

So, to all you people who have said, "OMG! Make me lucid!" I actually tried. I couldn't help myself. But, see it doesn't work.

Anyway, that's what I used to think.

I secretly had this goal that I never told anyone, not even my closest friends. This is it: My goal is to invade the dreams of random people on my island, making them lucid with the hope of one of these random people telling me about it eventually.

Last week, I went to Fire Jam, this big weekly party where people do fire dancing, there's a live DJ, who I've been playing the didjeridoo with. It's pretty fucking magical.

That night I am introduced to someone who I saw briefly at a party two weeks prior, Lopaka. I tell him I am OneiroMonster. It means, Dream Monster.

He told me he had a lucid dream for the first time the night before.

Really? I said. Tell me more!

"I saw this big fucking thing... My friends and I were walking down the street in my dream... and then, HOLY SHIT. There was this big fucker, like a giant shadow."

"Let me ask you a question," I inquired. "Did this shadow creature, look like a big ass jaguar?"

"Yes!"

"Like some kind of crazed demon catgod beast with red eyes?"

"Yes!"

"And did he say something like, "You're dreaming MUTHAFUKKA! HAHAHAHA!"

"Holy shit. Yes."

"And what did you do?"

"I went flying!"

Of course, I recalled the dream the instant he started talking about it, so I easily finished it for him. I did it. I achieved the impossible. I blew my own mind. I remembered the dream, hiding behind a building, chuckling to myself, and appearing like that before the three young men, and then that fucker went flying, and I laughed my ass off. It was amazing.

So, I did the only thing I could do at that moment. I screamed, "I DID IT! I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT!" after which I proceeded to laugh maniacally for 54 seconds.

So, I realized I can do it. And I have been doing it, secretly. It just doesn't usually work. Here's the catch: most people don't become lucid much less remember their dreams. This is why I become a nightmare creature.

If you want me to invade your dreams, I am your favorite nightmare.

If you want me to invade your dreams, tell me your fears, my pretties.