The Kestrel's Dreams

April 25, 2015

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My New Mommy
I was in class with the kids but we were in this weird room. I sat in the corner with my computer, and I greeted the kids as they came in because the door was right in my corner. I remember that the room was made with light wooden floors and walls, and was very open to the outside; there were big windows. We all had on headphones with microphones that were all connected, so all we could hear was each other. I was checking kids' papers (we did research papers) and sources. M and T had the same source for their paper about women's suffrage. I walked around a little more and then sat down and turned on my headphones. K said "if i loose my mom and I'm all tragic will you be my new mommy Ms. Kestrel?" And I pretended I didn't hear it, because I wasn't sure what an appropriate response would be...

I was with K, T and M later at recess or something and we walked around the back of the school. There were interesting stairs and weird structures so I climbed the stairs and came to a pretty hill overlooking an orchard of sorts with some forested areas surrounding it. It was sunset and very pretty. It reminded me a lot of the space Zukin and I found in Germany while biking one day.



The Next Level Cult

I was in some kind of survival game, or a spiritual/intuition test. A bunch of people were let into a big room with about 7 holes in the ceiling and ladders hanging down from them. We had to pick one of the ladders to go through. N (one of my students) was there but I don think I recognized anyone else. He was trying to reach one of the ladders but couldn't because he was too small. I lifted him up to it and then went to a spot where two ladders were in the far left corner. Almost everyone was choosing the ladder that had a platform to reach it, but something drew me to the other one. It wasn't a lot harder to get to or anything, so I didn't know why everyone was going up the other one. I had to fenangle just a little bit to reach it, and climbed up...

I came up into another room with a really tall ceiling. There was also some ledges. It was as if the room before had a huge box over it, if that makes sense. There was a very short (maybe a foot tall) fence down the middle of the room, which was made of spaghetti, or something else that wasn't all that strong. There were about 15-20 people on my side and lots of people on the other side. There was a voice through a speaker somewhere. It told us that anyone who tried to cross the fence in the middle would be thrown off the edge, into something deadly... The voice also told everyone on the other side of the room to go back home. Then the guy in charge of this event came up the ladder on our side, and greeted us as people who had good intuition. The ladder test was to weed out the people whose intuition wasn't good enough for the following tests and trials.

We all sat in a circle and he explained the point of this all to us. He said we would be feasting tonight... he was sitting between me and a guy I had met and been chatting to, and he seemed to be favoring us, like talking mostly to us, or at least looking at us more. Anyway, he said we'd be feasting and then looked right at me, ran his hand down my back to my waist. "Feasting," he repeated and I was just like "No." Very firmly.

He seemed put off but in a good way, as if I had impressed him, and moved to the girl sitting next to me and said "feasting?" She said hesitantly no. He tried a few more girls and then said something about us "not liking vampires too, I guess." I rolled my eyes and we were all thinking, ugh, Twilight. The Master said, "well, I mean, I read the first books." I had to confess that I had as well in high school. Then he talked about Bella birthing Renesme and this is where it got even weirder... He got on the floor and spread his legs, pretending to be giving birth, scooting around on the floor on his butt and making weird faces. "You'd pay to see that, right?!" We were all a little disconcerted. "Right?!" He was a little crazed here, and then he zeroed in on me again which made me feel super uncomfortable. It was as if he was targeting me more now, and planned to get me pregnant, then keep everyone here for 9 months to watch me have his baby... That or like he knew I was already pregnant or something. I was starting to think this guy was an insane creep... But this test was somehow important to complete.

We moved on to a new conversation though I can't remember the topic. I know that we broke off to do a series of tests but that whenever the Master stood up and held out his hands we were to create a linked circle. It got more and more cultish. Eventually we ended up at my house; we were competing in my driveway. One of us had a little chocolate-ish blob and the other was supposed to try to squish it. I was partnered with H (one of my students) who had just appeared there. H's blob started going down the driveway hill and I was able to pretty easily squish it, so I won and started up the driveway again. It had been all nice and warm and spring-like, but once I got to the top of the driveway, in front of the garage, there was snow on the ground. I was walking through it barefoot (we were all wearing barely anything by now; short shorts and tank tops with hair pulled up) and then the Master threw snow at me and it got in my left ear. He started throwing snow at all of us, and we weren't quite sure what to do about it. None of us were sure whether this guy was a mad creep or a genius.

I went into the porch but noticed a circle gathering in the garage, so I dropped my stuff and went to join the circle. We were all standing. The Master was standing opposite me and said, "everyone sit down." But even though i heard him clearly, at the same time there was a crystal clear, loud, strong voice in my left ear that said "Don't. Move." So I stayed standing. 3 or 4 other people stayed standing and the rest were sitting. All the sitting people closed their eyes and seemed to be asleep. The Master looked at each of us (one of them was the guy I met at the beginning and had a slight crush on) and was about to give further instructions (I knew now that I had passed some sort of spiritual or other-worldly test... I had been chosen, but I don't know what for) but I woke up.

It's strange, because I think I was in and out of waking throughout this whole dream. Like, I knew I was awake in bed even as I was in the dream. Two places at once, almost. It was strange.

July 26, 2014

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School Kids

I was with some of my oldest school friends, and we had decided to watch a video one of our parents had taken on our first day of first grade. We hunkered down and started watching: there we all were, lined up in front of our first grade teacher's door... We all turned and waved at the camera, we were all smiling. I pointed at S and said, "look there you are! You were so cute, what happened?!"

He laughed and pointed at two of our other friends, naming them. I looked more carefully, and noticed that two of my oldest friends... weren't there. Instead, there were two people I didn't recognize. But they were with me watching the movie. "Where's R? And M?" I asked.

The others looked at me like, "who?" and I shook my head, dismissing my confusion as one of my usual misrememberings. I must not have met them until 2nd grade.

The next time I looked at the screen, it froze, and the next thing I knew, I was in that 1st grade line. Time was stopped for a moment, but started again, and all us children kept giggling and smiling. The two people I didn't know were talking in S and K, and I leaned over in the line to look for M and R. I didn't see them, but there was a little boy who caught my eye: He was wearing a suit of iron- or rock. I couldn't tell. It was some kind of heavy, strong stuff. He smiled at me and called me over by name. I assumed he was just a friend I had long since forgotten about (and in truth, I was starting to forget about having been watching the movie years later as I walked over to him).

"Kestrel, stay behind me, okay?" And he turned around, and I looked over his shoulder to see a group of children from a different school. They had devices of some sort, and I watched one of them lift a device and point it at my classmates and me. The boy in front of me lifted his arms and stood as a shield for me. I saw a bright flash and then wind and dust and debris flew past me. There was some kind of battle going on between my classmates and those other kids. The others were from a school nearby where they learned demonic cult magic.

They attacked for about five minutes, but because the boy in armor was there as my shield, I wasn't harmed at all. When the other kids left with lots of smack talk, he turned to me and smiled cheerfully. He then turned away and walked toward that other school.

The world froze again and started to blur. The boy was moving slightly, but everything faded, and a new scene appeared. I was at a new school. I had been transferred to the demonic cult school for some reason. It was all one large classroom in a cabin-like building. I set up a camera in the back corner because I was supposed to record my first day. I was terrified because of that attack, but I was also fairly oblivious about almost everything. I got into the classroom, and the teacher directed me to a seat in the back. I noticed with a start that the boy from before was sitting next to me. He smiled at me cheerfully as I sat down in my seat. To my left, there was a scary-looking boy. He was large and scowled at me; I recognized him from the attack. He kept messing with me, but the boy to my right threatened that if he kept messing with me, he would die a horrible death.

I don't remember much about what we were learning, but there was a presentation by one of the students. It was disproving something I had seen in school the day before, back at my real school. He stated that Jesus was fake and therefore Peace and Love were also not real. It was a depressing and scary presentation, and I wondered why I was at this school. The boy to my right turned to me and asked me if I wanted to get away from this place with him. I nodded and during break, we escaped. He led me to a door around the back of the school, and when I went through it, I saw a scene where someone was skiing down a mountain on someone else. So, instead of skis, he was skiing on a person. The skier said, "Don't worry, we're almost there!" Then I woke up.

(I didn't realize it until I woke up, but the boy was the Face, again. He was a kid so I didn't recognize him in my dream, but when I woke up I realized the metal/rock suit was the same one he wore in the very first dream with him in it)





Clumsy Kestrel

I was with a group of my older classmates again, and we were sneaking into a large building at night. We were spying on some people who were having a meeting in the building. We were all leaning over a ledge, and I fell over it into the room with the people in it. Luckily, they didn't see or hear me, so one of my group members had to go and get me.

I woke up slightly, and when I fell back asleep, I dreamt that I was watching myself fall over the ledge. I may have even dreamed that I pushed myself.