Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

The world is on fire. But I am part of a group who has knowledge of a way out. We are preparing to leave through some sort of a secret tunnel to another world. On the day I am going to cross it, I have to go through a mob of desperate people on the streets, but despite difficulties, I make it to the designated place. There is some sort of magic involved so we need to close the "door" behind us before other people notice it and also use it. I don't feel bad for leaving them behind, I feel relieved. (don't judge me )

At my farm. A storm is coming and my dad is with me but doesn't want to help me shut the doors and windows. A big cloud seems to be sucking air and debris and another one in an opposite direction, seems to be pouring it down. There are also many tornadoes forming. I see my dogs Maya and Tara outside and bring them to the kitchen. Don't know where the others are. Lightnings start small fires. I go outside and follow the trail of fires and put them out. I end up walking a long way, until I reach a beautiful village by the sea. I cross the village downtown and notice I am being followed by a chinese dude who seems familiar (has followed me before). I try to lose him by entering a labyrinth of streets where a market spreads out. Then I feel strangely sick with strong vertigo and feeling my consciousness fading. At this point it gets scary because I actually feel like this is happening to me in real life as I lay in bed and I fear I might be having some kind of collapse and not wake up. (but I do)

It's been raining and a new waterfall formed in the hill in front of my house. It is beautiful and I take a photo to send to Riverstone. I go outside and as I get closer, I see people bathing in it and lounging in chairs and basically enjoying it as if they are at the beach.

I am picking wood for my fireplace from a storage in my terrace. It is night but some village kids are passing by the road outside and they take a peak over the wall to see who's there. One of them asks to use the toilet but I feel he just wants to snoop around. I say no, but then notice voices of people inside my house and wonder if they tricked me to get through the front door as I was distracted. Someone did enter, but it is my uncles along with some distant relatives I don't even know. They somehow assumed they could come in. I explain it is my house and that I'd like that they called first asking if they could come. But they couldn't care less, they seem to have an agenda. More people start coming in and taking tables outside, rearranging everything in my house. I am told it is for a party or a wedding. Some of the family members are choosing rooms to sleep in. My house is 10 times bigger than in reality and so they all find some room to stay. I go around yelling at them, asking them to leave, but some of these people don't even know who I am and don't even care. They were told it was fine to invade my house. I then focus on keeping the doors and windows shut because of the cats, which I can't find any and I am losing it.

Coming from walking Hachi and there is a bike race passing in front of my house. But Hachi is cool as a cucumber.

At some place like school and I am hungry. In cafeteria there is a group of people arranging the place for an event or maybe lunch later. But there is a table full of peeled bananas anybody can have if they want. I take one but its so mushy I throw it away and go get a second. A nice guy comments about the bananas while also eating one.

Meet my school crush Marco and a common friend and I am not sure if he recognizes me, doesn't show signs of it. We need to spend the afternoon together because of some project. I am working on the computer, they are working on something else. Later on, we sit together at a couch talking and Marco touches my hand very softly and discreetly and I realize he did recognize me. Then some people from their families comes in and I notice some angry looks in our direction. They noticed the hands touching fondly and apparently he is married now. There is a little girl about 2 years old that comes straight at me and she is adorably articulate, shows me something and then sings a song. I think she is his daughter. I feel embarrassed that she sings way better than me.

I go to my friend's restaurant to get some free food. In exchange I offer to help him with the dishes, if he needed, so he puts me doing stupid tasks instead, like diluting the bottled ketchup with water. He says it's because they are getting dry, not to fool customers, but I am not sure. Then he makes do some other absurd tasks and I am like "I have had it! This guy always takes advantage of my kindness"[/COLOR]

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Vacationing with some family members in a resort. My late uncle Zé and my aunt invite me to a walk at some waterfalls in a mountain. But it is really cold and I argue that it is better to stay by the fireplace and there is an indoor heated pool I really want to try, So I stay there, But I don't relax because I am attacked by Chinese assassins, One of them is a genetically enhanced clone of another one. I still beat her. Then some other dude attacks me, but I knock him down and he bleeds badly from his head. I feel compassion and concern for him and offer to help him. He is conscious and gets up. Refuses my help and says he has a place nearby where he can get medical help. I still walk with him until this place. Basically we get to a checkpoint where hundreds of people try to get in, but it is not into a nice place. It is actually the underworld where criminals and outcasts go to. He goes straight to the gate guards and they allow him in immediately.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


At a bridge, looking at a map on the phone. I am in California, its nighttime. I am supposed to go see a place that is still a bit far. Because it is late, I choose instead to visit an alternative coffee shop nearby. It has several floors, it is know for famous people going there. I don't see any. Go to the roof terrace, very cool for photos. From there I see a multiplex cinema on the other side of a river. There is a small island in the middle of the river. I go there and find a beautiful young feline there that I become friends with. Not sure what species it is, but looks like a jaguar. Then I see also some babies that she is nursing.

Undercover in a bad neighborhood to expose some drug dealers. There are people of all ethnicities and nationalities living and doing business there. Most are selling clothes, but many are just covers to the real drug business. I go through an alley with a chinese shop and I am approached by two men selling shirts. I have a bunch of money, so I show them trying to expose them as drug sellers. But they just sell me shirts. One guy has good quality clothes but the other tries to sell me an old ripped coat and I reject his offer. He doesn't like my rejection and I feel something is wrong with this, don't understand his game. Later I spot him following me. When night falls he runs towards me in a deserted area but I step aside and push him to the road. He falls on the asphalt and a high speed car runs over him before he can get up.
Then I turn to another street and there is a parade going on and I blend with it. Madonna is leading the parade in a car and part of the theme is Disneyworld and I can't resist to take some photos.

(...) I had fallen asleep at a train station in the dream and when I wake up I am somewhere else and the first person I see to my left is my guru. He is in some sort of public appearance... It is still fuzzy to me what is going on. Or eyes cross but I can't tell if he recognizes me. I look to my right and there is an entourage of lamas and monks. Then he gets up and everybody else does the same. He moves towards me and says "Hi (my name)! I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?". "Oh, you remember me!", "Off course, silly." Then he puts his right hand over my right shoulder and grabs my left wrist with his left hand and walks with me for a while. I feel his warmth and notice my icy hands. While he is asking me questions I cannot help to feel extremely hot and cold at the same time. At first I ignore, but it becomes so extreme I cannot continue the conversation and I wake up . My body is icy cold, but I am completely drenched in sweat.

(...) I am walking through a park when some guy asks me to take pictures of him doing kung fu poses to send to his friends back home. I agree and then three more people join him, apparently part of the same tour group, making poses for the pics. I relish their skills and they introduce me to their master. It's an extremely amiable old chinese man. I tell him I am now learning martial arts in real life, but kenpo not kung fu. He says that's nice and offers to teach me some signature moves from his school. He demonstrates as he attacks me, but he is kind enough to do it gently and instead of hitting me full force he says "bam, now I hit you in the head.", etc. Unlike the kung fu fights I was used to play in my dreams, now the fights feel extremely realistic. Then he asks me to attack him and show what I know. I feel a bit embarassed, but instinctively apply a series of kicks and punches which he defends with ease. He looks amused at my inexperience but not so much with the last kick, which actually surprises him. He says he wasn't expecting that, since it is a more advanced move. I said I had learned it already and then he exchanges some remarks with another chinese guy. He says that they know the move but teach a version of it to only the more advanced students."

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


22:00 GMT – Sleep

Fragment
Someone is advising me about my trip to Japan [I’m going to Japan soon]. What I should prepare for the travel but also instructions I should leave behind for others.


0:00 GMT

Mix of stories and nationalities
Me and my boyfriend pass by some sportsfield and we see large banners with message written in what looks German, but I can’t understand it and conclude it is some other similar language. It has the name of a girl and seems to be a cheering message.
I stick around among the bunch of people who’s there, sitting in groups, around tables or just hanging. I see a cute sofa made in sort of bamboo and then I am given a kind of huge book with detachable pages in wood, which can then be assembled to make this sofa. It comes with an handler and it is so light that you can carry it home as if it is a bag. [IKEA hasn’t yet thought about this]
Then this sportsfield is also my mom’s living room and I am looking on her shelves for some things I left behind, mainly some tiny flasks of essential oils. But it doesn’t transform entirely into her living room, because right behind me are these guys sitting on the floor discussing whatever game happened on the field. On my right side is also a desk which is the reception of an hospital. A Chinese girl just arrived there and she is complaining with a doctor that happens to be there, that she had been there before with pain in her wrist and was sent home and now she is feeling much worse. Then she starts saying how the health care in her country (China) is so much better than in the USA and that over there they would not spare efforts to find out exactly what was the source of her pain. The doctor looks impatient and like he couldn’t care less about her complaints. Even more to the side is a TV on the wall and it is playing some television channel for Portuguese immigrants. It’s playing a contest in which a guy is trying to win something for his mother. He is knocking on doors and following leads but he looks like a brute from the countryside.

2:15 GMT

Prisoner of psycho family and helped by couple of angels
Me, my boyfriend and my mom go by bus from my current home to go somewhere. But soon we realise we took the wrong bus and we get out a bit further uphill. We cross the street and look to all bus stops around trying to find the right number of the bus. Then I see this kind of garage sale taking place in the neighbourhood behind us. People have their doors open and yards full of stuff and I can’t resist checking it. I find two guys who are selling the weirdest stuff and I feel absolutely surprised when I see this box with some device and substance that promises better sleep with more vivid dreams. I ask how does this work, as I never heard about this. It’s something that you can buy in the pharmacy but then I’m speechless when I read the instructions and it says it’s for females only and you must insert a long stick with the substance on its tip into your vagina!!!
I find that absolutely bizarre and I can’t help to buy it. I ask how much is it, but they don’t want to make a price, they ask me to say how much I want to pay. I hate that, I like people to set the price, I have no idea how much this thing is worth! They keep not giving me any number and they actually seem to be stalling me. My mom is there and also senses something wrong and tells me to go. I also feel like going. Where’s my boyfriend, by the way?
Then a kid (there’s always a psycho kid...) comes out of nowhere and starts messing around with a bead necklace I am wearing. First I tolerate but then he breaks it spreading the beads all over. I get pissed and kneel on the floor to grab the pieces while I scold him. When I get up... Where’s my mom? Then I realise I am their prisoner.
It’s a huge family, parents, uncles, lots of kids of several ages and they are all mentally deranged. They keep me locked in their house for absolutely no other reason than just to terrify me and exert control over me. I try to run away several times and they always catch me. Because they are so many, there’s always one around or outside or coming back home and finding me on the road. I even try flying but they can also fly.
But one day I go to an upstairs room that has a window and a balcony and I lock the door behind me and jump to the ground. It’s night. I hide behind some truck as I see some of them coming home. I then go alongside the road, but through some field to stay in the dark. One of them spots me and flies after me. I fly to, but he keeps on my track. Then I make a strong effort to fly really high speed [picture Neo, when he wants to save Trinity] and I manage to leave him behind.
I don’t know where I am and I take refuge in some nice couple's house I stumble on accidently. I tell them my story and they know this other family and tell me I am safe with them as they won’t dare coming nearby.
One day they take me to the beach. It’s a grey rainy day, but they emanate so much joy it’s impossible not to feel light and happy around them. I feel the presence of my former captors and the couple confirms they are around spying on us, but they promise me they will not dare come close, so I’m safe and that I should totally relax as if they weren’t around.
They then fly to these electricity generators on wave energy that float close to the shore – they look like giant sausages that go up and down with the waves. They really love this game and as I fly to one to be closer to them, I see many other “beings” that are there having fun the same way. I cannot help thinking that they look like angels, so strong yet so innocent, enjoying such simple pleasures, increasing their energy by just having fun and creating this energy field that keeps psychos away.
Then there’s a gap in my memory, but I think they help me rescue my mom (my boyfriend I don't know), because later I’m reunited with my mother and we are staying in some youth hostel, temporarily until we go back home. She wants to celebrate, but the bar of the hostel in the basement seems to serve fish instead of drinks! We find it odd – there’s a big board over the entrance with pictures and names of several different fishes. And we say no thanks and give up. We take a shower on a common bathroom and as we go back to our rooms my mom looks and feels a lot younger and that is affecting her behaviour. She is half-naked with only a towel around and she’s having pleasure teasing the boys that come across in the corridor, showing a bit more of leg and so on. I tell her to behave but I’m finding it funny that she's so confident.
Then we pass by some girls who have their room open and are chatting on the door, some inside, some on the corridor. One of them is singing beautifully some R’n’B song. I think it’s from Alicia Keys and I also want to sing along. But as I am passing by and singing a bit, they tell me to shut up and look angry at me. They say I suck and this other girl is so full of herself she wants to be the star. Ok, I move on. Then I find some table on the corridor, with a spinning top like the one from Inception. I stop to make it spin, but no matter what I do, it just won’t spin!!!

4:40 GMT

Teenager TV series and Carl Sagan
Me and my boyfriend arrive at my mom’s house and we find my dad sleeping on her room. We wonder what he is doing there but whatever... We want to watch TV, so we turn on the TV that’s on the room and we sit in the dark on the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up.
As we zap, I notice there’s Carl Sagan on some channel, but my boyfriend keeps zapping until he stops on this high school TV series. It’s about a black girl that is cast aside in her school. Then a new girl arrives and she is the only one who offers help and gives her a tour and introduces her to the school. She then tells her how she was friend with this and that girl or boy and how, for no reason at all, one day everybody decided to turn their backs on her. As I watch the series I get into her skin and I touch my hair and it is afro! So cool!
Then my boyfriend complains this show is lame and I say I actually find it cool because I also went through all those integration problems in all schools I’ve been to. Anyway we do some zapping again and I tell him why not watch Carl Sagan and he says “and you tell me only now?” I thought he had seen him. So we tune to that channel and it’s an old episode from Cosmos. We miss this guy and we’re enjoying a lot watching the episode but after 2 minutes it ends and my boyfriend starts complaining “No! It can’t be over already!” and then my father wakes up with the noise. But we shut up and stay very still and he turns to the other side and keeps on sleeping.

7:00 GMT – Wake up