Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Going to the movies with Riverstone. He thinks it's Star Wars, but it is some parody sketches on Star Wars. And the sound is shitty. Then I am the actor playing it live on the theater. But the other actor that should be there interacting with me did not appear and so the whole thing falls apart. I try to invite the audience to enact the jokes with me but it is a total disaster.

I am with my guru, sort of accompanying him. He doesn't sleep, he also doesn't stay around much, is always going somewhere, meeting people. A monk comes to keep me company, talks about alien abductions and some book author we both seem to know but whose name we don't recall. Then he gets too fond of me and wants some action, but although he is actually cute, I don't want him to break his vows and I say no. Then a giant wave comes from the sea outside, doesn't break the windows, but engulfs the building which gets under water. We pick cell phones and documents and leave. We go to higher floors and get out somehow to dry land. Then we see Rinpoche's students heading to a town square, all dressed up and I ask what's the occasion but nobody says. I sit alone at a bench and I realize I have my cat Buddha hiding in my purse and I hug him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


Living with my family, but feeling despaired and wanting to run away. I am preparing a bag with clothes and a few more items to run away while they are all out. Then my family returns, I hide the bag, no one suspects of my plans. But I see my mom and I start reconsidering my plans because of her. I don't want her to suffer for not knowing about my whereabouts. She is the only one I don't want to hurt.

All alone in Brussels, very early morning. People are still going around, hoping from bar to bar. I feel pretty alive and aware and I absorb all the details of the decorations, architecture, the terraces, etc. I notice that the street is warm but in between terraces it is extremely cold. That's because they use gas heating on each terrace. Then I am dragged with a crowd into a very underground place. Its entrance is literally a tunnel with no light, just some very fade lamps at the end of it, where there is a door. The people and the light and the shadows make really interesting images and I grab my phone to take photos.

Enjoying my last day abroad. Go to a fair, incredibly crowded. Then at some lateral street I see a couple of Buddhist monks and decide to follow them. I find a long line of monks waiting to go inside some building and I go with them. Once inside they prostrate until we reach a room with an altar and some pictures and images of Buddhas and teachers. I pay my respects to. Then follows another room and another altar and more prostrations. As I also prostrate, an old lady in a thin robe appears and leans over to whisper in the ear of the woman in front of me, something about her health and some advice on how to deal with it. The woman seems caught by surprise but thankful for the advice. Then the lady turns to me, her robe opens up, she is naked and doesn't care. She tells me I have to summon and surround myself with nagas to expel the bad naga that is disturbing me. I say "what?" but she goes away without further clarification. I get up and follow her through the crowded streets until she enters her house. She doesn't pay attention to me, never says a word, but also doesn't ask me to leave. She feeds her cat and does whatever she has to do. I tell her I need to know more about her warning, and tell her that my mom had dreamed something related to it the previous night [she did, in waking life]. She doesn't reply but she points me to a bedroom where I can spend the night. I stay there. I lay on the bed and I fall asleep. Then wake up but feel drowsy. I try to move, but feel like my body weighs a ton. Then try to call for help and my voice sounds terribly deep, scary and distorted, like I have a demon controlling my body. I fight back for some time. Then eventually it goes away and I recover control. I don't see the lady anymore.

Then leave to airport. I am back to Lisbon. There are some new constructions by the river bank and I fly over to see the changes. I find a burger stall with a nice terrace, selling really pricey food. A veggie burger is 15€ and a whole meal with fancy wine and dessert is 250€. But then I look around and find a really cool vegan fast food place that has affordable delicacies and I call Riverstone to come have lunch with me there. I meet Evangelion there by chance.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


(...) I'm on the road with some guy. He is driving, we're talking. Then we see something orange scattered at even distances, over the line between adjacent lanes. But it's not plastic cones! It's monks in orange robes, meditating! My friend is puzzled and wondering what in the world that can be. I just become lucid with the absurdity and I realize what it is. They know it is safe, they are aware where we are, they chose to sit in the middle of a road because it tests their confidence in the knowing that nothing can harm them. I get it and could join them. But instead I just float around, enjoying the beauty of this awareness. I start touching everything, I touch some statues, the rough walls of buildings, the tree leaves, the hair of people passing by. Everything I touch is simply perfect and overloads my mind with joy.
After a while of this experience, I enter a not so bright zone. The night falls, there is an entrance to a non-lit park and a few homeless guys are sleeping on benches and on the ground, on both sides of the pathway. A couple of them looks at me like saying "hey babe, come here..." and I feel a chill and turn around in fear. Then I think what is the worse thing that can happen, considering it only happens whatever I allow to happen? If they rape me, I just wake up. So, I lose all fear and all I can feel is compassion. Instead of fearing a rape, I feel like offering myself to them as a gesture of my total surrender to the fearlessness. Automatically, I become naked as I walk through the pathway. They just can't believe what they are seeing. They actually are quite gentle to me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am walking a path up a hill, alongside others. Around us, on the hill, are scattered buildings. I am a visitor and they are students there.
I become semi-lucid when I look at the sky and realize how unreal it looks. The colour is super sharp, the clouds are moving too fast and there's something just mesmerizing about all that. The realization of the dream nature of things plunges me into a state of profound melancholy, bliss and hypnosis. The girl walking by my side says "Oh my god, you look like you are in love!". What??? No, she got it wrong. What I am is hopeless of ever being in love. What I am is ready to let go, because there's nothing holding me back. No hope, no illusions. And I remember Morpheus' quote "You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up." That's what I am. She doesn't understand.
Anyway, further ahead I see a tree and from the tree top falls a guy who is burning in flames. When he is contorting on the floor, I notice he is a buddhist monk on red and yellow robes. I scream to my friends to go and help him, while I run to one of the buildings to call 911. I find a reception where I make the call, but then I feel I should have helped to stop the fire instead, so I run to the tree again. My friends are there looking puzzled and there's no sign of a burning man anywhere. Instead, there's a couple of westerners, a guy and a girl, sitting under the tree, although they are also wearing the buddhist monastic robes. My friends say I allucinated and go away. The monk boy befriends me. He wants to know what I saw. Then I ask if I could possibly be seing him in the future, but he assures me he would not ever self-immolate. Although he feels just like me, ready to let go, he would not waste this life. He chose to be a very, very sad monk. We feel complete empathy for each other. We hold hands very strongly. I feel his warmth becoming mine. For some reason his hands are incredibly dirty and greasy, but I don't feel disgusted. We just can't let go of each other anymore.