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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 1 May: Lucid encounter with my secondary teacher

      by , 05-01-2023 at 05:57 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With my mom on some type of underground shelters. Looks like subways tunnels, a maze of concrete chambers, but with beds here and there and lots of people taking shelter in each room or hallway. We are going around, as if looking for something and I become lucid, so I decide I want to do something with my lucidity, but I don't wanna hurt my dream mom, so I tell her I need to go to the bathroom and I move away. She yells that I am going in the wrong direction and starts following me, trying to catch me, but I speed up and lose her.
      The scenario becomes more and more dystopic and futuristic. I come across loads of people going to and from all directions on this underground, but I think about my teacher DK and call out his name, looking around for his face to maybe show up. It never does, but I am always hopeful. Instead, dream agents start popping up and bumping into me, agressively. I decide to fly up as the place became bigger and no ceiling can be seen. Looks more like a factory now, with a strange maze infrastructure beneath me and a big black screen ocupying the whole right wall. One agent also starts levitating and grabs my ankle, we fight a bit and I get rid of it. I decide to leave this dream by jumping through the black screen to my right, while thinking of my teacher. I come out on the other side and it is still a dark dystopic landscape, like a Blade Runner scene mixed with Stalker. I still don't see any signs of my teacher, or anyone else actually, so I decide to call for my secondary teacher instead, JK. I see some light illuminating a path into what seems a calm relaxing place. I pass a little reception booth and to my right I see a jacuzzi like pond or pool with a big black stone Buddha statue half submerged, sitting in a relaxed position. There are tealight candles giving just enough clarity to the space. I pass by the pool and fold my hands towards the statue. I swear the statue turns its face towards me. But I look again and it's still in the same position. I keep going and see a small building ahead, but before I go in, the Buddha statue appears standing in front of me, moving and breathing like a person. It is smaller in size, the size of a human, when in the pond it was the double or tiple that size. I immediately know that it is my teacher I just called.
      I say hi and he replies with another hello. He smiles and says he had been waiting for me to finally call for him. He asks if I see his face or some other face. His face changed a little, no longer the face of the original statue, but it still doesn't look like him. I chuckle and say no and ask if he sees my face and he also says not really. But that doesn't really matter because we are both sure of whom we are.
      I say I don't know what to do, that I needed to talk to him, that I am confused and lost and don't know what he expects from me. He comes closer, enough to feel his breath in my skin and hair. I wasn't feeling anything romantic or sensual towards him, but now I feel a tingling sensation in my body. I also get closer to him, close enough that our legs intertwine. He says something about how much he desires me and I tell myself I don't feel this way about him. But he keeps going, saying how rock hard he is and he is so close to me I can feel his erection against my legs and I feel strangely aroused by it. I can't resist to touch it and then I put my hand inside his clothes and grab it. The sensation is incredibly specific. He is average lenght but a bit thick and I like it. We kiss and make out and we kick everything in our way up to the building I saw before. Funny enough, it is some kind of gift shop, not a private setting and there is a lady behind the counter, but at this point we just don't care. It's just a dream. I am half undressed and he slides his penis inside me. Half standing up and half laying down, we f*ck and I can't believe how horny I actually am. In the end, he is embracing me from behind, both facing a small mirror on a table. We get to see our faces in it. I vaguely see myself in it but I tell him he appears as some tibetan man mixed with my mom's face, which could be weird, but we laugh. Then I lose consciousness for a while, everything gets black and I fear that I may be exiting the dream and waking up.
      But I manage to wake up exactly on the same place, this zen spa whatever, now with daylight shining. I get up from the ground. A lady, maybe the one that was behind the counter before, comes to offer me some gifts, namely some beautiful hair ornaments. I don't recognize what it is at first glance so she shows me how they are applied to the hair, very lovingly, as if she knows me and cares for me. She then says that guru-ji asked me to join the tsok later on.
    2. 25 Apr: Fooled by a demon posing as my teacher

      by , 04-25-2023 at 06:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      During some teaching, my teacher is hanging out with his students outside. I can't talk to him, because he is surrounded. He then says he is going to a photo shop and have lunch. People go after him as a group, but only his closest entourage goes inside the shop with him. Everyone else stays outside sitting on the floor.
      Then my name is called through an intercom but no one seems to hear it, but me. I don't know what I am supposed to do. So I go to the shop. At the entrance someone tells me to go around and I'll find out why I was called. I see a guy at the intercom. He tells me to wait. A door opens and my teacher appears, very blushed, making a sign for me to follow him. I go inside and it is not just some shop storage or backroom but a hallway with many other doors. He goes down some stairs and I notice something really odd going on. The staircase is very large and goes down very deep. I notice some strange characters and Illuminati type shit symbolism on the carvings and paintings on the walls. Clearly this is no ordinary photo shop. I feel like my teacher isn't really him and I say it out loud. Everything stops and the atmosphere changes. Around me I see ghosts and female demonesses. I am told to play along or else... I am afraid because I am stuck here. The creature posing as my teacher lets go of his mask and shows to be some demon, although pretty handsome, with a young Ethan Hawke's face. He asks me something (don't remember) and I say no. As a consequence, some weird monsters with soup face (I cant explain either, their face was simply a big ball of floating soup) come along and start biting me. I try to avoid them, but I can't outrun them, so then I have to fight. Inside the soup face there is a mouth with shark like teeth. They hurt like hell. I brake one's jaw and throw the other on the ground and step on it. Then try to convince the demon that I give up and I chose to play along. I say that I am sorry and I speak softly, trying to be convincing. Actually, it isn't hard, because he is so fit and yummy that it is no effort to try to seduce him. But he sees through my bullshit and tells me so. I chose to just stay quiet and not cooperate. I get ready to be torn apart by demons. I prefer to die like that than to make any sort of deal with them. But nothing happens. He just asks me to follow him again somewhere. He then takes me to some elevator and we exit back on the hallway area upstairs. He just takes me to the door I came through and lets me out. I can't believe it.
      Then he is back into my teacher's form and waves at Ariadni, who gets up all excited. I yell to her "don't go, it's a trap". But no one seems to hear me or care for my opinion. Also, behind the door I see Fernanda, looking all fancy, smiling at her and inviting her in, saying it is perfectly fine and good. I recall that she always admitted to be willing to sell her soul to the devil if necessary, so it's no surprise she became the devil's assistant. The door shuts and I worry for Ariadni.
    3. 17 Feb: Shadowy witch, robotic snake and meeting my teacher lucid

      by , 02-17-2023 at 08:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some victorian house, sort of half asleep and seeing the scenario fade away, but I realize it is actually a dream and that it is the dream itself that is fading. I hold on to it, but the darkness doesn't go away and I know this is when sometimes the monsters come up. And then I see a woman coming over and whenever she crosses a more shadowy area, her face becomes monstruous. I warn a friend that is also sleeping nearby to wake up. She doesn't know what I am talking about and she looks at the woman. The woman says in a hypnotic tone "look into my eyes". I grab my friend and say "don't look, it will kill you". I get in front of the woman and I say assertively "Now, you look into my eyes!" at the side of her face that is not disfigured. She looks puzzled and loses a bit of her power temporarily, so I open some curtains to let light in and I drag my friend to the outside. The woman still tries to reach me, but she can't stand the light. I decide to lift off and that's when I go fully lucid. I don't know what to do, so I decide to just watch the dream. Below me it now looks like some big american city. I also see a huge roller-coaster in the distance. There is some retro vibe to it. I just amuse myself by flying over people and watching their dramas. I feel very melancholic thinking how all these people are just DCs. I sing and dance in the sky above them.

      Visiting my mom at her old job at the Union. They are at some warehouse with piles of boxes with files and lots of stickers, calendars and other stuff I used to steal from them and collect as a child. I am mesmerized by all the retro things they have, not fully aware that I am dreaming, but aware I am seeing something gone from the past. I grab a box with some stickers to take with me as mementos. For some reason my dog Hachi appears and all is fine until someone else also comes in with 2 dogs and a baby. I grab Hachi immediately and try to take him somewhere where I can keep him isolated. Unfortunately there is only a small room with no windows and I don't want to lock him there. So when the other dogs follow us and we get cornered there, I close them inside instead and take Hachi away.
      We go to my mom's and he roams around the house free. After a while I am looking for him and find him in the balcony injured with a bad open wound in his front right leg. Nearby is a robotic snake I keep as a toy, also severely "hurt". Turns out she can bite and it is a powerful metallic bite. I try getting close to him, but he cowers and hides his leg. I go get hydrogen peroxide and throw copious amounts on his wound. He ends up accepting my treatment and even puts his front legs over mine to thank me, I guess. Then I also want to help the snake but need something to grab it safely. I didn't know she had such a dangerous self defense mechanism.


      At my childhood home, alone, and I become lucid. I go into my room, honestly just wanting again to dwell on the melancholic feeling of seeing things from my past. But then I feel crazy horny and feel the urge to remove my pants. I look around for objects I might use creatively, but all I see is a wooden spoon over the bed for no good reason. So I give up on objects. Instead I decide to experiment what it would feel like if my clitoris grew to become a very long penis. Long enough that it reaches my mouth. And then I suck it. I almost wake up with the sensation but I manage to come back to the dream. Then I jump scare when through the balcony door I see 3 Rinpoches sitting outside. They are not looking at me, they are to right side, almost out of sight. I can only see a bit of their faces but I recognize them ckearly. They are facing forward as if listening or watching someone to my left side. I pull my pants up quickly, deeply embarassed, hoping they didn't see that. I get up and walk slowly towards the balcony sliding doors. Then they turn their heads towards me and nod at me wtth a smile. As I approach, I see many more of them and recognize almost all of them. Then some more pass by from my left side and disappear behind the ones sitting. The balcony is no longer a balcony, but some room somewhere else. They all aknowledge my presence, nod and smile, but none says a word. Then I walk forward a few more steps and I see my teacher to my left. He is standing there and he is the one all others were looking at or listening. They hint that I should come in and I do. Rinpoche comes to me and we immediately hug. Then we kiss. It is a shy confused kiss, because I want to kiss him on the lips but I am not sure if it is ok, so I kinda go for the cheek but still touch his lips. He seems surprised but pleased. We continue hugging. Then he kisses me on the lips properly. It feels incredible and totally real. We continue hugging tight and saying how much we missed each other, while I caress his back and head. I can even feel the smooth edges of his robe on his back and do my autistic thing of stimming by feeling the calming texture of the seam.
      Then he moves on and we are in some kind of library or classroom and I realize we need to get out because a class or lecture is about to start.
      Lucidity fades a bit from here. Outside he is with his entourage and they are heading to some place to lunch with, but he specifically says to his attendant that I am to have lunch with the more private group and sit by his side in the upper room. The restaurant is asian, but I can't tell from which country. Rinpoche and the private group disappear upstairs as I am distracted looking at the food they have on display. Then I am not allowed to come up. When finally that is cleared up, I arrive there, but Rinpoche has disappeared again, maybe to go to the bathroom or something, I think. The people there look me sideways and want me to sit me at the "kids" table. I see three empty seats and figure that's where Rinpoche will sit so I say I think I am supposed to sit there to, but they mock me and bully me. Some lady is being incredibly rude and gets into my nerves, so I bang my hand on the table, wanting to punch her, and say "one of these seats is for me, just wait and see". But I feel bad for my ego outburst, so I just go and sit at a bench near the window, at the far end of the table, but where Rinpoche can see me when he returns. Then we hear his voice on loud speakers, interviewing some indian fella and it is about Russia and some allegory with volcanos and people wonder what is this about.
    4. 20 Nov: Trying to summon Buddhas, advising a lady who can't sleep

      by , 11-20-2022 at 08:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation.

      At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it.
      Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.
    5. 2 Nov: Wake up with a pain felt in a dream, my teacher finds where I live

      by , 11-02-2022 at 09:37 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I was having some kind of revelatory dream, something that was making me feel amazing and then I felt a strong burning and radiating pain on my left side of my stomach, as if stabbed by a knife. I woke up in agony with a pain I couldn't identify. I feared my spleen may have burst or something, but I grabbed a cold water bottle I had on my nightstand to put against my skin and it eased the pain after a couple minutes. I still don't know what happened.

      I am outside my house, combing my hair after having had a shower, observing someone on the other hill. The person looks like my teacher but it is a woman. I feel sad and wish that he actually comes, then I look at the road leading to my house and I see him walking down the road followed by an Indian band playing music behind him. I smile and wait
      to see what will happen. My teacher goes sit on a chair that's at the end of the path close to me without saying a word and just looks at the landscape. I ask him how did he find me and he says it was hard because my address leads nowhere. I explain my address is correct but does not yet appear on the maps. I realize the cardigan I am wearing is wide open and exposing my breasts, so I cover myself up embarassed, but he is totally unfazed. I say I knew he would find me anyway and that I had been waiting anxiously. Then we stretch our arms to hold each other's hands and as we touch hands I wake up feeling blissful.
    6. 4 Oct: Sangha intrigues, Keanu Reeves new show and legal battle in the family

      by , 10-04-2022 at 08:34 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

      New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely Joăo, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.
    7. 8 Feb: Meeting my teacher and going by van to the beach

      by , 02-08-2022 at 09:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      My teacher and others are visiting some place, could be Germany by the looks of it, but it is warm and there is a beach nearby, so I don't know. We are all in a house. It is an apartment but bigh enough to accomodate them and all the students. The group of students is maybe 20 people. I haven't yet seen my teacher, but I accidentaly step into a room where I disturb OTR and another teacher who are talking. I make a discrete turn around and leave. Anyway they see me, but I think they are more entertained than upset.
      Then I am told we should gather in a specific room as our teacher is coming. For some reason I have to get fully naked and my teacher paints me in red. I have a tear falling down my right cheek as he paints my face. I am a bit embarassed from being naked in front of the others but they also seem embarassed and looking down to avoid eye contact.
      Later on, we are told to get ready as we are being taken to the beach. I go get food from a fridge, specifically 4 green pears, and then join the others on a subterranean parking lot where a big van arrives, supposedly to take us. But our teacher cuts through, followed by an entourage and I am convinced they take most of the seats. But actually the van is really big and has like 4 rows of seats and we all fit in. My teacher is on the first row and I am on the third, but he still can see me through the rear mirror, Riverstone is also sitting on the same row as I am. To my surprise, my teacher turns around and starts speaking portuguese-brazilian with Riverstone. I am confused as I had no idea he could speak PT, yet Riverstone apparently did know, because he doesn't flinch and immediately replies. I wonder if he understands original portuguese and surprisingly he also does.
    8. 15 Nov: Newspaper article about me, waking up my teacher, meet an Angel and a woman is possessed

      by , 11-15-2021 at 10:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      A friend brings me a newspaper article where my name is mentioned in the title. I try to understand what it is about and who wrote it. Can't recognize the name, but I think it is of a friend of a friend to whom I told a story. I feel pissed that this person used my name and described me without my permission. But the story is good and actually supposed to praise me for my decision about something.

      Somehow I come to a room where my teacher is laying on a bed unconscious, or maybe asleep. I kneel by his side and put a hand on his chest. He wakes up slowly and sees me by his side. I caress him a bit and he slowly caresses me back. He smiles and he is happy to see me. He gets up really hungry. Some monk and some other girl from the Sangha are also around and they guide him to the kitchen table. As we wait for food, he grabs the newspaper and sees my name in it. He tries to read the article but its in Portuguese. I tell him the story. It's about a lady in the Sangha who is married to a guy she doesn't love and she discovers he has a secret room. One day he is out and she grabs the key and enters the room and then the story goes on but I don't recall.

      Meet Gabriel who is some kind of angel. Something important happened and he appeared. Then some person I am with sees the ghost of some lady on a window who tries to talk to her. Something about Deuteronomy. I tell Gabriel I also saw her and then things get stranger. The lady gets possessed, but only I can see and hear the demonic sounds and horrible faces coming from that person. I show it to my mom who gets terrified, so she can see it to. The I show it to my grandma who holds my hand as asks something banal as if she didn't notice anything.

      Updated 11-25-2021 at 11:56 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    9. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    10. 3 Oct: Discover a buddhist altar underground and a sword leads me to a temple

      by , 10-03-2020 at 08:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

      With some people, bored. I spot a stone slab on the ground that I lift and I excavate under. They wonder what I am doing and even I don't know. I find an empty space and with a lantern I point down a shaft and show them my find. There is a Buddhist altar a couple levels below. I somehow get down there and from the middle of the altar objects I get a sword that I feel compelled to take with me. I can't go back up the hole, so instead I follow a tunnel that goes from there and I end up by a river. I notice I am in my white satin pyjama and barefoot with a sword now in the middle of the street and I start attracting other people's attention. There is a dock on the opposite side of the river and some guy starts walking parallel to me. He is making me nervous when I realize he wants to attack me as soon as he gets a chance to cross the river. But I save him the trouble by flying up and towards him. I brandish my sword and knock him down with a chi energy blast, don't even touch him. I keep walking up a road and 3 Chinese boys, also with swords, start walking by my side in an intimidatory way. I warn them they'll get hurt if they attack me, but eventually I just fly away also leaving them behind. I fly over a canyon and next I see a vast savannah. I spot some hunters ambushing some wild animals and preparing to shoot arrows at them and I destroy their arrows mid-air with my sword. Then see a large number of people walking towards some big temple in the horizon. There is a stupa and a couple pyramids plus other ancient and new structures in a rocky plateau surrounded by lush jungle. It is so beautiful that I cry. I am welcomed at a reception where they say they didn't expect me but can accommodate me. They show me the restrooms and leisure rooms and communal kitchens. I am hungry and offer to cook some mushrooms and vegetables I see on the counter, but no one else seems much interested in it. I recognize some faces but most are unfamiliar to me. They then take me along to meet a great old lama I never heard of. He is receiving people or teaching at a very large auditorium with a very high ceiling. I want to get an overview of the event, so I fly up to a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The lama sees me and scolds me for it, because I am disrespecting him by standing above him. I project my chi again, this time not to hurt but almost as a telepathic mean of communication. I am both trying to show him I am a friend and mean no disrespect, but also kind of showing of my powers. When he receives my energy blast, his bindus start emanating a blueish light in all directions, which causes quite a stir among the audience. I feel I better leave and stop freaking out everybody. I wait outside at the lobby and I find Laura there. She says there is a rumour that Rinpoche is arriving there too and as I walk around and between some white columns at an entrance hall, just thinking about what to say when I see him, he arrives and comes down in my direction. I notice that he sees me and he is containing his emotion. So am I. But there is never an opportunity to talk, because he is immediately engulfed by eager followers and disappears in a crowd.

      Updated 10-12-2020 at 08:59 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    12. 14 Jun: Admiring vintage junk and my guru appears in a rainbow with a message

      by , 07-14-2020 at 02:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some junkyard, with a garage full of vintage stuff. The stuff belongs to the family of a childhood friend, Renata, and she comes by while I am admiring some old fridge. She seems disturbed by my presence as if she thinks I am there to steal it. I show her that I merely came in after my dog Bernardo, who had run after other dogs. The she sees the dogs.
      Then I spot some bikers passing by and I am afraid they might hit the dogs, but everything is fine.
      At the horizon I notice a strange rainbow, with a normal arch but at the base, one of the color strips bends out, turns white and curls around the rainbow. For a while it looks like a tornado with a double helix around it. I don't feel afraid and come closer to watch it. Then like a hologram, an image of my guru appears and talks to me. Gives me blessings and instructions, like a letter sequence as NS LCSS or something that I know I will mess up when I wake up. I get closer and fold my hands and bow down and he says "I miss you" and disappears.
    13. 18 Nov: Diverse dreams and lucid at a party full of white lotuses

      by , 11-18-2019 at 08:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

      Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

      At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.


      Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.


      With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

      I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.
    14. 14 Nov: Neighbor's moving and meeting with my guru

      by , 11-14-2019 at 12:19 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      My mom's neighbor is moving in. My mom's cats and my own are by the door with me, watching. I am naked from the waist up.

      Attending teachings at some venue. I have red hair. I get to sit in front of Rinpoche. He is also naked from waist up and smiling so much. An Indian lady by my side hands me a Tibetan medicine book. The intro is done by a speaker in Spanish and we can't hear a thing.

      With Rinpoche again. Now a small group of women in a small meeting room, sitting on the floor. He is giving advice for projects and so on. I am not in any of those projects, but one lady asks me a favor to call this guy who wants to buy some machine for their organization.
    15. 12 Oct: Asian stranger, flowers blossoming from my body, celestial palace

      by , 10-12-2019 at 09:07 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

      At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting.
      [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
      I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

      At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
      I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.


      Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.
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