The Kestrel's Dreams

August 30, 2014

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I swear, every time I come home to visit my parents, I have rapid-fire dreams. I remember more, I have more vivid dreams. I think this town somehow puts me in the right flow for dreaming...

Anyways.


Road Trip

I was driving up north with some people... We were in the car, on the highway, but then the highway turned into a cave. We couldn't keep driving the car, so we had to park it in the cave, and leave all of our clothes and stuff in a pile near it (for some reason we couldn't just keep it in the car).

So we had to walk the rest of the way; I don't remember if we made it there because there was a gap in recall here.

We were walking back down the highway... But we all got hungry, and stopped at a gas station-KFC store. We ordered some chicken, but one of the guys in my group got nasty chicken, and started complaining. HE said it was so bad he couldn't stand by and watch them make chicken like it any more. He jumped over the counter screaming that he would show them how to make REALLLLL chicken.

We met a young woman going further south than we were going, so we offered for her to come with us for part of the way. We walked along the highway (but as fast as a car would, oddly) and eventually came back to the cave where our car and stuff were. We walked down the cave-road for a while and almost gave up before we found the car.

(I remembered at least 4 dreams while typing this. I'm in my bed at my parent's house. I swear. I remember more dreams when I'm here, too)





Tyrion Lannister is a Woman

I was in a room the whole time, but I don't remember what I was doing there. For some reason, Tyrion Lannister kept visiting me and talking about random shit with me. One day when he came in, he told me Cercie had set a bounty on his head for some reason. I asked why, and he handed me the wanted posters. "Order for the Beheading of Tyrion Lannister! LEt it be known that he might as well be a woman! He has fallen in LOVE and this cannot happen!"





Pool Floor

I was in a house with pools for floors. There were turtles all over the place for people to step on to get from place to place. But there was also a shark in the water, so you actually had to be careful. I think there was something else in the water, too, because I was terrified of touching it. I remember falling into the water and flipping my shit, but my companions, whoever they were, got me out of the water quickly. I had some sort of discussion with them, but I can't remember what about.





No Special Meals

I was in a boat race with the Backpacking club, I think. We were all on a team, or else our group was split into two teams and we were racing each other. MY team had a faster boat, but the other team got started faster than we did. By the time we were stopping for food, my team was in the lead, which was nice. We all stopped at this restaurant on the water for lunch, and I remember getting my food and being so hungry, but then looking over at the table for the opponents, and they all had some sort of special meal, and we were all so upset and jealous, and tried getting the waiter to give us special meals, too. But they wouldn't give us special meals, and so we scarfed down our normal meals and then left without paying. The other group was sitting in front of a VERY TALL wall of paintings and mirrors.

We were getting into our boat and starting the race again when the other team came out and laughing and joking and happy and we were all "Meh."

I was paddling in front, and someone else was paddling in back for part of the time, but for the rest of the time I was the only one paddling.





Failed Job

I was in a maze-like building with five different rooms. It was a little bit like a house in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I was organizing furniture and whatnot, and then when I was in the innermost room, I got a ping that the monsters I was apparently running from/killing the entire time were heading for the exit. I couldn't let them out into the world, and so I desperately ran to make it to them and kill them before they got out. I made it to the security door in the outermost room, but I hadn't seen the monsters anywhere. I went outside and saw, to my horror, that they were already out, and killing people.





Mojito Crazy

I was the midget husband of a vampire woman who needed Mojitos to survive. We were living in a huge castle on a bay in the fishing town on my dream map. In the bay, there was a large towering building coming out of the water, and a current rotated around that tower. I had to jump in the water and grab supplies to make Mojitos for my wife. There were lots of things just floating in the water around the tower, and sometimes people were with them, just floating along, holding onto their baskets of goods.

I jumped in and swam along the current, looking for limes and mint and whatnot. I ended up picking up lots of things I didn't need, because it was Minecrafty, where you pick up everything near you. By the time I had everything I needed, my whole inventory was full, and I didn't want to bother with trying to put things back. So I went back to my wife with everything.

When I got back, we found out that neither of us actually knew how to make Mojitos. So I had to go around town and find someone who had made a Mojito, steal it, and bring it back home to the castle. And even though just about EVERYONE in the town had the ingredients, no one had made a Mojito. So I had to go back home empty handed, and my wife was getting desperate. Then I changed perspective to be the wife.

I went outside, looking around with an insatiable thirst for Mojitos. It was now dark out, and I ran up to a public restroom and acted like a crazy woman so that I would be arrested. I don't know what this was supposed to accomplish but it was all part of a plan, apparently.

July 24, 2014

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Indoor Market

I was at a large indoor market; it was set up like a Goodwill or something, or even like a big market in Thailand; everything was all over the place, and it was like a maze. In the back, there was a room where you couldn't get past the entrance without a huge ad flashing across a screen in front of you. There was a mechanism that detected whenever a person entered. But actually, it detected the carts. I figured out that if you didn't roll a cart into the room, or if you rolled it in just right you could avoid the tracks that detected the wheels. So I was in this back room, ad-free, looking at the different school supplies that were for sale. They had all these fancy tools and equipment, and games and notepads and pens and all sorts of office supplies that teachers would need. It was awesome. They had plain-Jane ones as well as crazy-colorful-patterned ones.

I got a text from my mom, and left the room sadly (I didn't have any money so I couldn't buy any of the awesome things) and found my mom somewhere near the middle of the market. She was getting some brown eyeliner from her favorite brand. I liked the color, too, but when I looked at the package ingredients, I found it had Carmine, which I'm allergic to. So I couldn't use it.

We got in a car (it was a convertible like my mom's but it wasn't quite hers) and started driving home. The driver's side was on the right like a British car, but we were driving on American roads. I found out a teacher at the place I was working was following us (to be clear, this is a fictional character; I don't have a teaching job yet); he pulled up next to us at a stop light and invited us to his house. We accepted, and went to his house. One of my 3rd graders from the summer school was there. She was apparently his adopted daughter, or something? Hmmm. I remember that I had a crush on this teacher so I was talking to the girl about ways to win his heart. She liked me and wanted me to be her adopted mom, so she was helping me devise a plan.





Guys

All I remember from this one is that I was a guy, and I was making out with another guy |D





And the Kitchen Sink

I was in my kitchen, and there was some carrot peels in the drain, so I flipped the disposal switch. But nothing happened... There was that sound of gears being jammed, and so I turned it back off. I peered down the drain but couldn't see much, so I took out the whole sink to see what was wrong. I just lifted it up out of the counter. There was a giant chasm underneath the sink. But the disposal was supported up by the pipes and whatnot. I found out there was a big yellow pitcher in the disposal, so I lifted it out and tested the switch; it worked. I put the sink back in place, and did some dishes.

June 11

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Fragment: Killing Three Birds

I was in my neighbor's back yard, except it was thickly wooded, with two guys. I think I had a crush on one of them (but I don't remember much else about them). The other guy kept shooting endangered birds... I told him to stop, but he killed another; three total. He said it was so we could eat have a whole bird for dinner that night. A ranger came by and the guy hid the birds. Then we left.



Fragment: Shooting Stars and Fireworks

I was with Kristin and her boyfriend in my driveway at night. There was going to be a fireworks show in the neighborhood, so we were getting ready to watch. As we looked up, Kristin saw a shooting star. I looked up, and there was this huge fireball shooting star.



When Are You Due?

I was with Zukin in the back room of my Oma's house, where the kids usually play. She had this little contraption with her, that would act as a baby, or something. It was a project for school; she had to take care of it for a month. I helped her watch it and take care of it; I was feeding it in my dream (how one feeds a small bean-shaped ball of metal/plastic, I know not), and burping it. At the end of a month, a little age meter on the side of it would read one-year-old.

For some reason, we had to leave Oma's really quickly, and Josh was there to drive us to my house. Except when we got to my house, something was wrong, and so he drove us along the path through the "park" behind my house, and when it went through the woods, he went off the path, downhill. I remember thinking, Oh dear lord! and clutching the side of the vehicle. It was a sort of dune-buggy type thing, and I was sitting in the back seat to the right, while Zukin was sitting behind me, facing backwards (like in a golf cart. Actually, maybe we were in a golf cart. It's a little fuzzy). Josh hit a small bump and Zukin nearly fell out, so I offered for her to come sit with me. She says, "Oh my Bhuda, thanks," and instead of sitting next to me, she sits on my lap.

I'm still holding the "baby" contraption, and we pass a family who is having a picnic in the woods behind their own house. They say hello nicely, and so we stop for a moment to say hello back, and the mother sees the "baby" and asks me, "Oh, when are you due?" With a cheerful smile.

"Uh. In a month?" I was confused my the question; apparently they gave those contraptions to all women who were pregnant with their first baby, too? She thought I was pregnant. We left then, and Josh was worried that those people were going to call the police because we were driving a golf-cart-thing through their property, but I said, "Don't worry, these are all nice people. Besides the woods have always basically been free for all to use."



Adultery and Burning Dogs

I was a married man living in one of those cookie-cutter homes in a development. It was winter. I was having an affair with the neighbor's wife, and neither of our spouses knew about it. As far as they were aware, we just spoke friendly with each other like good neighbors should.

One night, I was in bed with my wife, and she was fast asleep. I was wide awake, and wanted to be with my neighbor, so I snuck out of the house through the front door. I had my PJs on still, but had put on a pair of nice dress shoes because I didn't want my feet to get cold. I was careful to be as quiet as I could be, but the snow was unbearably loud. Every step I took was about 10-times louder than it should have been; I was afraid my wife was going to wake up, so I tried to hurry to the neighbor's driveway, which was much better plowed than ours was...

I was almost there when I saw a light turn on inside, and my only thought was "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT." I hurried around a corner, and just as I was turning it, I saw out of the corner of my eyes the door opening and my wife looking out, spotting me, and getting that crazed look on her face.

The feeling that overwhelmed me is really hard for me to describe. It was the kind of feeling you get when you get caught while in the act of doing something bad, and still run away as fast as you can but as quietly as you can. Maybe it was more like the feeling when you're playing a game of hide and seek with your friends, and you know they're almost done counting even though you haven't found a good spot, and so you panic and rush and do silly things, all while trying not to let the seeker hear your distress; that excited but frantic feeling. It's like... I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to justify my being about to enter the neighbor's house (when my wife and I both knew that our neighbor's husband was out of town on a business trip for another day and a half).

Rather than going inside the neighbor's house, I run around in a roundabout way to confuse my wife as she followed my footprints in the snow, all the while avoiding the dog, who was sleeping right outside the door, and then got cornered and crouched behind a bush. It wasn't a very good hiding spot because the pine needles of the bush were thinly distributed. I could see beyond it just as well as my wife would be able to see me if she looked; and I knew she was looking. It's dark, maybe she won't actually be able to see me... but just as I thought that, the moon came out from behind a cloud and my wife looked right at me. She walked toward me menacingly. I noticed for the first time that she held something red in her hand; a grill lighter. I was freaking out that she was going to set fire to our neighbor's house (I guess she was a bit of a nutter even before I had the affair. Maybe that's what made me cheat on her in the first place. Who knows)...

But she looked at me, and then at the dog, and then back at me. She grinned evilly, crazily, and bent down to set fire to the dog. She held the lighter out in three different spots, the way you would light a fire; cover more area. Amazingly, the dog didn't wake up until its fur was already catching. I ran out of the bush to try to pat the dog out, and my wife laughed and then went back into our own home. The dog was whimpering and I finally managed to get the fire out, leaving the poor thing with only minor burns. I opened the front door to my neighbor's house went inside with the dog, and got it some water before heading to the bedroom. I knew where it was because I'd been there many times before. When she heard me approaching, and called out, "Honey, is that you? What are you doing back so early? I thought you'd be out for another day or so?" And then she came out of the bedroom, saw me in my messy PJs, the dog with her burn marks, and my slightly dazed expression. "What happened?" She asked, walking toward me.

Then I woke up.



Fragment: Drain-O

I was volunteering at an elementary school with Zukin, and there was some sort of sickness going around. It was deadly, and all the kids had it, and the teachers were catching it as well. For SOME reason, the cure to this sickness was a hat I had on; it was a bright orange ball-cap, and if I wore it, I was immune to the sickness and anyone who looked at me would be cured. Dream logic FTW.

But the hat got ruined somehow (I don't remember how; it may have already been ruined when the dream started), and Zukin and I were trying to fix it. Eventually we did fix it, but Zukin had clogged the drain in the sink somehow, and it was like new again, and I put it on. It looked normal on me, but when Zukin tried to wear it, it turned into this floppy green thing with white lace hanging over her ears and part of her forehead. So I put it back on, and we called the Kindergarten teacher into his office, where we'd been working. "We got the Cure-Hat fixed! But the sink got clogged."

"No worried, I have Drain-O." The teacher (who was attractive in that way 50-yr old men can sometimes be) took a tiny bottle of Drain-O out of his pocket (why he had it, no one knows) and put a few drops into the sink, which had water all the way up to the brim. Those few drops were somehow enough, and it instantly started to drain. The Drain-O smelled EXACTLY like liquid NyQuil.

April 04, 2014

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I was a male farmer, and was for some reason put into jail. I was in a solitary confinement, too. I must have done something pretty bad. But I can't remember what it was. I kept flirting with the guards, who were also mostly male. I get the feeling I was House (the Television Doctor, yes) for some reason. Maybe I started the dream as House and morphed into a Farmer as I often do during my dreams (well, not to farmers. I change form quite often in my dreams. Maybe it's just multiple dreams weaving into each other).

Anyways, I was always trying to escape. At some point, when I was getting my dinner, the two guards who brought it to me were new, and looked young and stupid. They opened the barred door to give me my food, and I shouted "Oh thank GOD you guys are here! The bastard stole my clothes and ran off! He went that way!" I pointed down the hall, from whence they'd come. "You gotta go get him before he escapes for real! Don't worry, I'll watch the door."

And they were all grateful and went off after "me."

So escaping was really easy. I left, walked down the hall, and down the stairs to the front door. It turned out the prison was actually at the top floor of a mall. The security guards at the front door didn't even look at me as I exited the building.

Once I'd turned a corner, I started to run down the street. I jogged as far as I could and found a delicious looking food joint. It was run by this really sweet old lady, who gave me some blueberries when I asked for some and explained I didn't have any money because I'd just gotten out of jail on good behavior. She gave me a glass of water, too.

But I left, because I was suspicious of her. She started looking at me funny, so I thought she had called the cops. I thought she might have seen me on TV on a breaking news report or something. And so I continued jogging away, and got a text from a friend asking how I was. I was about to reply when I woke up.

January 19, 2014

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I started out as a spy/ninja on a mission to steal some rare beads that belongs to a corrupt ruling family. The first part of the mission was like in Pokémon X and Y where you ride a Rhydon to get across rocky terrain, except I was on a horse instead of a Pokémon (teehee). Once I got past that portion of the mission, there was a wide river channel that I had to get across. There was a line of long boats, a little bit like a Stocherkahn (which is driven the way boats in Venice are, with long polls that reach the riverbed, used to pull the boat along), but a little more oriental. Everything in the dream was fairly oriental.

I stole one of the boats and a bazooka, and made my way down the river to a large dam. I had to blow it up to drain the lake at the top. The mansion I had to get into was in the middle of a large garden/pond. It was a lot like a garden Zukin and I had visited on an island in Germany.

Anyways, I blew up the dam, and ran across the now open ground to the back entrance of the mansion. I masqueraded as a new guardian for the one who wore the beads. I told her that I was her new guard because there had been a threat on her life. It was at this point in the dream that I realized I was a man. Apparently, to be this woman's guard meant I was to marry her, and since it was my mission, I did it.


Fast forward years into the future, and I have a ten-year-old daughter. I am frivolous and fiscally irresponsible. I have held too many feasts and there are platypuses on leashes in the garden: they search for treasure. The area that had been covered in water because of the dam is now an overgrown area, untended.

Or rather, the person I had been was now this way. My consciousness had switched bodies. I was seeing the story through a different set of eyes is all. I was now a 15-year old young man who worked in the mansion.

There is an invasion, and the intruders set fire to the mansion. One of the intruders is a man in a huge black metal suit. All you can see is his eyes which are gold. I was on the second floor, and this suited man starts lurching (yes, lurching is the best word to describe how it moved) toward me; I panic and run but the suit keeps following me. Even though it can't move very fast, it is still terrifying and always there, and I feel like it will get me no matter what. It's a bit like the feeling you get when you play Amnesia and the hear the monster coming, and you know either it will get you or you will go mad in the dark.

I went down a narrow winding staircase, but the suit still follows me, and I eventually end up on the overgrown area at the back of the mansion. There, I met the previous Me's 10-yr-old daughter and we sit on a ledge watching the Mansion burn down. There was Tohuwabohu (see the last paragraph) all over the place, and then I spot the metal suit lurching toward us. I grab the girl and am about to run again, but the suit just lurches past us and jumps off the ledge we were sitting on. Before it jumped though, it turned to look me in the eyes and made a noise that I couldn't understand. The girl looked at me and said that the suit was called "The Face."

"He said Not this time," is what she said just before I woke up.