Morning of May 31, 2018. Thursday. In my dream, I am back in the Loomis Street house. In this case, my thread of memory of being married to Zsuzsanna is extant, but everything else is absent. There is a vague backstory that develops out of the liminal awareness of being in the dream state, autosymbolism that brings about little white clouds outside of which are only about three feet above the ground. To summarize, my dream involves looking outside (from the south room of the Loomis Street house) in late morning and seeing these little white miniature cumulus clouds, again, hovering above the ground, though only in a singular sparse row between the houses, slowly drifting east to west. I feel a very unusual sense of something being “off”, and yet no lucidity is triggered by this liminal awareness. I illogically “realize” that clouds being this low to the ground, even though they are small, will cause earthquakes. An earthquake does occur, and I go into the middle north bedroom (where I never slept in real life). Zsuzsanna and I cheerfully interact. (Obviously, a bedroom, even the “wrong” one, is a dream state indicator, not symbolism or more accurately, not autosymbolism, as dreams are not symbolic in the conventional sense.) Earthquakes occurred very often in childhood dreams, usually only the first dream of my sleep cycle, and they were not threatening to me in any way. This developed out of liminal dream control where I would deliberately shake a scene from side to side to intentionally change the setting of my dream (not by moving my dream self’s head but by willing the setting to waver from side to side to bring about a different setting, typically barnyards, forests, train stations, a friend’s house, and so on). Over the years, this was no longer required due to certain advanced knowledge when in the dream state even without lucidity (despite the absence of my conscious self identity), but this still remains an occasional residual factor.
Morning of May 28, 2018. Monday. On my way back to waking reality by way of a passenger train (autosymbolism for both the induction and waking process), I decide to walk after remaining in passive lucidity. I hover above my seat and phase through the train as in past dreams (though in this case, actively flying ahead to phase through the front of the train rather than just letting it phase through me while I hover in a fetal position) and walk through an isolated grove, feeling a deep sense of peace and love as both my returning memory and realization of Zsuzsanna being near me in bed breaks through the liminal space barrier of the illusory dream state. I first developed an understanding of the illusory nature of the dream state at age three (probably why I rarely have “bad” dreams unless related to health by way of transpersonal premonitory threads). Since then, I have phased through hundreds of vehicles, including the roofs of taxis, usually entering lucid omnipresence as here. This is all about vestibular system correlation and a vehicle being an autosymbolic illusory projection of the physical body in REM sleep. However, even walking is not what I am doing in reality, as I am asleep at the time, but walking is closer to the preconscious transition than riding a train is.
Morning of May 28, 2018. Monday. I am in a setting that seems partly modeled after the Cubitis living room (last seen in real life in 1978). There is a computer set up in the southwest corner. It seems to be late morning. I am looking at pages in a newspaper. There is a short article (on the upper right of a page) of about three paragraphs written by someone with my surname. Their first name is Aueda (which is unfamiliar, though which is actually a distortion of my last name, with an extra “A” and no “L”, though my dream self does not realize this). I notice the name Tecumseh written a few times throughout the article. The person lives in New York. I tell Zsuzsanna that I am surprised Aueda is still alive, though this is by way of false memory, as I have no relative by this name as far as I know. In fact, I am uncertain of whether the person is male or female. Zsuzsanna seems to know it is a female even though she had not known of her previously. “I did not know they were still alive,” I say, followed by, “They were born in the 1800s”. (This turns out to actually be 1907, but only assuming my dream self is aware it is 2018, though that is unlikely, as my non-lucid dream self typically has no idea what year it is or any viable temporality.) I use the computer for an Internet search. It turns out there is a very large and detailed photograph of her at her rural home in New York. I read that she is 111 years old. In the photograph, presumably recent, she is standing and facing the foreground. I report her age several times to a few different people who show up. I am amazed by her age. The photograph seems like it might be of Grace McDaniels (the “Mule-Faced Woman”), though my dream self does not consider this. Additionally, the surreal nature of her face is far more extreme than Grace’s. She appears to have a large pointed chin covered with small bumps as well as an additional section below her mouth of a different rough texture. She also seems to have large elk antlers growing from her head. (This was likely influenced by a strange movie called “Marker” that Zsuzsanna and I saw the other night, though also seems influenced by the character of Hela from “Thor: Ragnarok”, which we also saw recently, though again, the horns were like elk antlers.) I look to the left and see a man, who I first think is her husband, lying on a couch inside their house. (This is illogical, as the main image of Aueda was taken outside, but the photograph implies the walls closest the camera are not present in the image, but are in “reality”.) Looking around, I see more detail, including a barn and a woodpile to the right. An unknown male is suddenly standing behind me on my left asking me if he can use my computer to look up a different name, which is Helen Crowley. I do not feel comfortable with him using my computer, as the keyboard is difficult to use. (It is smaller than a real one, but my dream self does not consider this.) I consider that some of the keys can easily fall out or get jammed. I try to tell him about the difficulty of use (though I also tell him how I am familiar with how it us used as such) and that I do not want him using it, but he gets annoyed and walks away for a short time. Finally, I let him use it, though after typing in the name myself, while I get up and walk away from the area. (Helen is Zsuzsanna’s mother’s name as on at least one official document, though she uses Helene but pronounces it as Helena. Additionally, Crowley was a “King of Hell” character from “Supernatural”, so my dream is illogically mixing a lot of random details together, which is what dreams often do.) Before I get up, I notice all the people in the photograph are now walking toward a storm cellar while looking back at the viewer now and then (Aueda being the last one in the line). The image is now actually moving like a film. Looking at the floor a little later, I see otherwise clear water with pink areas, much of it flowing out from under a table, and I wonder if someone had been ill, possibly bleeding, or had just spilled something. Marilyn (older deceased half-sister on my mother’s side) is present, though seems as she was in the 1960s. She says she had contacted someone about fixing the leak. She is standing against a table with her arms folded, firstly facing me, though I walk about looking at the pink water. As I look at her in profile as she faces left, I notice how her body and posture is impossibly distorted but I do not catch on that I am dreaming. I go into other rooms (which are unfamiliar). I see and clearly hear water flowing everywhere, most of it clear and no longer with pink areas. I see a large laundry basket full of clothes somehow filling up with water nearly to the top (which is impossible as it would just flow out through the large square holes in reality). I also see that the otherwise shallow flooding is going into a room where I supposedly have a number of my books and journals. I walk back where Marilyn is and loudly say, “Everything I have is being destroyed. Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?” Soon however, I realize I am dreaming and that I was liminally trying to return to deeper sleep (as water is my most common autosymbolism of dream state induction and reinduction, partly based, biologically, on the first months of life spent in the waters of the womb - in fact, I had been reading a comic book yesterday where a woman is pregnant and her waters break). I feel relief in waking up (though in reality, we did have a flood and rain inside the house when the roof was torn off last November and a lot of books were ruined, though not any of our journals).
Morning of May 27, 2018. Sunday. Typical RAS modulation autosymbolism was going strong in this non-lucid dream but still did not activate the waking process, so I slept a couple hours longer than I usually do (even though Zsuzsanna and our children were up and in the lounge room with the television on at one point). If I cannot rely on RAS to wake me at a certain time with unique dream content (which is what a dream’s autosymbolism is inherently for) at the top of an ultradian rhythm, then I consider that very unusual. In the first part of my dream, the setting is a unique new variation of the King Street mansion, the second-floor apartment in the middle of the east side of the house. My non-lucid dream self does not care that it is an impossible setting. I happily sit around on the floor for awhile listening to bizarre fictitious music (on a record player yet) where the lyrics make no sense at all. The “music” seems to have rock elements, but the male vocals are mostly randomly spoken phrases. I hear the audience cheering, so it must be a live recording. At one point, he chants slowly but loudly and clearly, “Yellow bathroom”. (This is a biological hint to my dream self, but I do not feel the need to use the bathroom in my dream.) I notice my curtains are open, and I see an unfamiliar male lying on his left side on a ledge, in his underwear, enjoying the wind and smiling. It seems to be late morning. Apparently, he is enjoying the music I am playing. (Of course, this is a liminal projection of how my real physical body is as I sleep.) I am annoyed that neighbors can see in, so I attempt to close the curtain. (In reality, this scene could not be possible either, as the windows had only a view of the front of the house across the street, so there was no side of a house right near the King Street house, though what does my non-lucid dream self care, from a lack of any viable connection with either the unconscious mind or my conscious self.) I hear an unfamiliar girl’s voice yelling about my music, and their music is turned on more loudly, even though the male was enjoying my music. (I did not think my music was loud at all.) A different male argues with her and there is yelling for a short time. I go into a different room and I am now in the lounge room of the Stadcor Street house (which only has the first floor) with Zsuzsanna. Now, the events are shifted to the first floor in the house next door as well (and as usual my dream self does not notice the impossible change). I mention something to Zsuzsanna about the music and an unfamiliar male, who can see into our house through our window from his window, loudly says, “You think you can beat me?” I reply by yelling, “Why don’t you leave us alone?” I then yell at no one in particular, “I’m tired of crazy people always living next door to us!” I go out to the front yard and bash several unfamiliar males on the head with my Olympic barbel (no weights) and swing it around like a baseball bat until no one else is standing or moving. My dream shifts into reinduction rather than the waking process during the RAS modulation event and I now find myself riding in a skiff tied to the back of a small motor yacht. Curiously, I do not recognize this scene for what it is and no lucidity is triggered, only an elevated vividness. I am now a female (of about twenty-five), though not a female I have any conscious knowledge of. A man tells me to tie an additional length of rope from my boat to the back of his motor yacht (as the previous one had apparently came off and I am now drifting over the ocean). I somehow do this even though the distance would not logically allow it. I throw the rope and pull it lightly, but a large knot seems to make itself with no effort on my part (to my left; reinduction orientation and stabilizing). “That’s a good knot,” says the unfamiliar captain from the other boat. A few other unfamiliar people look on. After a time, I am “myself” (though only about twenty-five) and another (unfamiliar) male is sitting to my right. We are still on a skiff on the ocean, but there is no other boat now. We go through an ambiguous area where it seems I am inside a house for a short distance even though we are also on the ocean. I notice many large sharks swimming below us. The water is unrealistically clear. I am wondering if there is any danger, though I do not feel concerned. The other male denies there is any danger and tells me how sharks only eat things that are at its own level in the water. I do not feel any fear, more like cheerfulness (almost comedic) even though there seem to be hundreds of sharks below us. Soon, the scene shifts and I am walking with the same male and an unfamiliar female. We are in an unfamiliar town near mostly commercial buildings. After we walk a short distance, the male vanishes. We look back to see someone running in the distance. Suddenly, I am aware that we will be blamed for the kidnapping of the male that vanished. We are carrying small plastic bags. We stop to look inside them. The girl’s bag has the ID of the male that vanished. I know that the police will be here soon and that we are being framed by an unknown person. I take the ID and throw it behind a soda vending machine thinking it will not be found and that I am being careful and intelligent in my action. The police arrive and I am still holding one of the small plastic bags. The scene somehow shifts to where I am in a police station (though of more of a restaurant appearance). The police officer is looking at the supposedly kidnapped man’s credit card (made of cardboard), a large sparse clump of hair, and some other items. The officers do not seem to think I had anything to do with anything, but I still tell them we were framed. (The girl is soon no longer present.) “Can you take fingerprints from plastic bags?” I ask. I say, “I know my fingerprints are on them, but they will probably also have the fingerprints of the kidnapper.” “Can you take fingerprints from hair,” I ask. “Can you take prints from paper?” A police officer at a counter looks at me as if he is wondering why I am still here. Two other officers look at me annoyingly as well. They are not interested in me at all. I decide to finally leave my dream (in a liminal state, as I am not viably lucid until the last moments) and finally wake as I step through the door. (This last part is quite odd. I am liminally trying to force RAS modulation by way of my conscious self, but nothing happens, probably because the process is often transpersonal in origin in its natural form. On one level, something similar occurred recently, where I learned I was not in trouble for “killing” an unknown male, though my dream self had the opposite focus as to this one and I did not seem to be as fully modulating it myself.)
Afternoon of May 24, 2018. Thursday. Vestibular system correlation is the most common cause of the autosymbolism of the dream state. Vestibular system correlation is the result of the illusory dream self lacking the discernment of the physical body during the first stages of consciousness reinitiation by way of RAS (reticular activating system) mediation and modulation. This is a biological correlation, yet also inclusive of liminal anticipation of the waking process. In this series, I will be including my original date codes rather than dream titles, as each event described and explained in this series is only part of a particular dream’s autosymbolic process. The date code is year (four digits), month (two digits), day (two digits), and the hour of the sleep cycle in which the dream occurred (two digits). This is the only viable way to order dreams, which I first used at the beginning of fifth grade. The order here will be entirely random as I look back and choose particular dreams. As I have tens of thousands of dreams and their causes and meanings not yet posted anywhere online, I am considering new methods of dream journal entries, such as sets of 25 to 50 dream events in a singular entry with summaries that are more concise, with their causes and meanings. 1) (1966122301). This was a series of dream sequences based on resets by way of liminal dream control (though of which partial lucidity was present at times, though lucidity and dream control are unrelated despite popular misconceptions). The most vivid event resulted in being saved from a fall from the Rose Street apartment’s roof by a “Shadow Cat” (from “Gay Purr-ee”, a 1962 American animated film musical). Based on the foundation of liminal anticipation of hypnic jerks (which I call “hypnopompic kicks” when they occur at the end of a dream), the scenario developed out of the unexpected disappearance (in my dream only) of the external staircase at the back of the building while seeking to use it to enhance my dream. (Since I was a toddler, I knew that staircases were autosymbolic of the dreaming and waking process, so I typically used them to vivify and sustain a dream.) Why I chose the “shadow” (in the form of a bizarre anthropomorphic cat silhouette, though in my dream seemed more like a helpful human adult, probably modeled after my father in this case) from an animated movie I had seen only hours previously is interesting. Most people see the “shadow” as eerie or even malevolent, yet the form comes from the preconscious, not the unconscious as so many erroneously believe. I have only ever seen the “shadow” as either a loving entity or a thread of my conscious self identity being rendered within the dream state for my illusory dream self to acknowledge and find validity and stability in (as the dream self lacks a real physical body, which vestibular system correlation is all about). (There is also a hidden factor regarding cats, in that they supposedly “always land on their feet”.) 2) (1964070506). At age three, floating, flying, and falling dreams were at their peak. In this recurring series, I sometimes chose Woody Woodpecker to be the factor of falling out of the dream state, depicted as driving my brother-in-law’s car with Knothead and Splinter as front seat passengers. The event was Woody Woodpecker driving off a steep embankment with a sustained scene of them in the car (as viewed by hovering in front of the scene) rolling down the hill, screaming, and waving their arms with their eyes bulging. This was loosely modeled after real-life experiences, one influenced by a road in Florida that was so wavy in shorter distances it was like going up and down on a rollercoaster, another influence from riding in a car up to Grandad Bluff, and another from the steep ride to Chipmunk Coulee, where we lived. Ultimately, from what others have written about dreams, these were not even technically nightmares. Fear was minimal and it was more like watching a curious impersonal scene. There were versions of this dream where they were people, not cartoon woodpeckers, but the rendering was still not very realistic. Vestibular system correlation autosymbolism occurs in different forms. This was more of a projected form rather than a directly experienced form. 3) (1965110203). This dream was lucid, though I did not seek to alter it. A gigantic bat flies over Carol (older half-sister on my mother’s side) on Chipmunk Coulee, though it is mostly only seen in shadow against the late night sky. There is no fear on my part, though she appears startled by the event. This dream vividly repeated many years later while I was otherwise awake and walking to another sister’s house just before Carol had a heart attack (but recovered from it) and coincidentally having moved to a location near the original dream setting. This certainly does not indicate that my original dream was premonitory, but that my mind “borrowed” and vividly repeated it while awake to designate prescience of the event. Additionally, I never saw large bats (flying foxes) in real life until many years later when I moved to Australia. 4) (1972020407). The song “Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In” by the 5th Dimension mainly influenced this dream. I titled it “When the moon is in the Seventh House” (the first lyric of the song), which featured the moon turning into a giant animated crow and falling into the closet of the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house as the waking alert factor. (This is the closet I went to get my clothes to get ready for school this year.) As is often the case, this was projected vestibular system correlation rather than directly experienced. (There was also influence from a liminal focus on the January 30 1972 lunar eclipse.) 5) (1968111508). In this dream, I watch a giant eagle-like silhouette flying across the sky, between two clusters of cypress trees as tall as skyscrapers. There is an extraordinary sense of timelessness and nostalgia. This dream was influenced by three main factors; the Pogo Possum comic strip by Walt Kelly, the swampy Fort Ogden area in Florida where I lived when I was very young, a deck of educational cards that, when flicked through, display an animation of wild animal silhouettes with a bird silhouette flying above them. (Another deck featured a rabbit hopping into a hat, the hat rolling around, and a dove flying out.) 6) (1981112904). I see an oversized shadow of a raven (though I do not actually see a raven) move up and to the right (in a diagonal path) in the house in Cubitis upon the wall between the kitchen and the entrance to the hallway. It seems very late at night. There is a very vivid sense of timelessness and isolation, though not in a negative sense, only as if I am the only person in the region or in this realm. It is as if I am viewing time itself in the form of a bird. 7) (1988021308). With much of my conscious self identity extant, I find myself in the backyard of an unfamiliar residence. About five men are inside but soon come outside. One man comes out pushing a bicycle, down the steps and into the backyard, and I focus on how the bicycle seems an exact “duplicate” of mine. I say, with a sudden clarity, “How is this possible?” and he says with a very friendly tone, finishing with my first name as if he knows me very well, “Parallel ground Claude”. Thus, some RAS personifications (even though they always maintain the same underlying essence) seem wary of the waking process while others embrace it, though the ultimate purpose is to initiate consciousness. What defines the differences, or is it just incidental? Both a bicycle and an airplane are autosymbolic projections of the liminal awareness of the physical body while in the dream state. In this case, RAS even explained the meaning to me. His explanation of “parallel ground” is a perfect analogy to vestibular system correlation, where the illusory nature of the imaginary dream body correlates with the discernment of the physical body in the final moments of waking. 8) (2014030706). In this situation, I am back in my room in Cubitis in late morning. A large bird, which resembles a pelican, is standing on a chair near the west windows. There is no other furniture in my room. There is no danger, and it seems very majestic. It seems to have the essence of a very old mystical being and I think of the mythical phoenix. In my dream, as in many other dreams, I seem much younger, probably only about fourteen. However, unlike with many other non-lucid (though very vivid) dreams, I have a very vague awareness of my current conscious self. 9) (1971011502). This was a very enjoyable dream despite the implications. In late night, I wander out onto the carport (liminal space autosymbolism) and see that the house is apparently floating high up within a tornado. I watch debris fly by to my left (beyond the carport) and I am amazed by the vividness. I do not feel alarmed at all, only puzzled. On the east end of the carport, a large bird flies down to gaze at me, as if to offer help, though remains directly on the end of the carport. It seems very “wise” and has the essence of a very old “teacher”. I sense that it is “king of the birds” and it is even wearing a crown. I see that it is exactly my height. Although I associate it with a hawk, it was influenced somewhat by the Woggle-Birds from “Jack and the Beanstalk” (a 1967 TV movie), though far more “realistic” if still somewhat sketchy. 10) (1967122702). This extraordinarily vivid dream was directly influenced by photographs from a book; the Time-Life Nature Library “The Birds”, which I had gotten for Christmas at age seven. (The photograph was taken the day before my dream occurred on December 26, 1967.) My dream was a curious shift of RAS modulation (the primary form being a snake as the biological waking alert factor) turning quickly into vestibular system correlation. I was walking on a dirt road near an isolated cornfield very late at night, with stalks about twice my height. I had a curious “realization” of being followed by a snake though it is not crawling very fast. Soon, a large owl flies down and attacks the snake and I no longer feel wary. As with many of my childhood dreams, I had no clear awareness of my parents or my age
Updated 05-25-2018 at 08:52 PM by 1390
Morning of May 24, 2018. Thursday. My dream self becomes aware of being on a bus in late afternoon. I look around and see a number of unfamiliar people. They seem to be waiting for something. There is an ambiguous sense of being outdoors on a public street and inside a large building at the same time. The bus is not moving at first. I am sitting in about the middle of the row on the right-hand side. Alfred Hitchcock makes an appearance (walking from left to right) as if he is presently involved in directing a movie. He has an illogical black-and-white essence unlike the rest of the setting, which is in color (though my dream self does not regard this as impossible or unusual). I consider that I might have somehow gotten on the wrong bus, and that I am on a movie set. If this is the case, I know I will not be going where I had intended even though there is no backstory with any awareness of my implied destination (though I do not even focus on any implied destination at any time, which is the usual case with dreams of this nature). The bus eventually starts moving inexplicably, that is, no driver is in view, though there does not even seem to be a place for a driver, just the front open area of the bus and a clear view through the front windows. Alfred turns around and briefly looks surprised. The bus may have run over him, as he remains unseen. I remain in my seat, but there is no drama after this. It is quietness. This dream is easy to resolve. Firstly, the bus, because it is a vehicle, is an autosymbolic extension of my liminal awareness of my physical body in sleep. Alfred Hitchcock is a typical rendering of RAS mediation, which allows me liminal control of the dream state over his “direction” in this case, even more so as he is associated with having made mystery and suspense movies (associated with the enigma of being between dreaming and waking).
Morning of May 23, 2018. Wednesday. Dream #: 18,783-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec. My dream’s setting is unique and unfamiliar, but its implication is our current home in the late morning. The sky is bright blue with the essence of beauty and peace. I watch a silver 1960s flying saucer. I think it is the transportation of aliens without the recall of what “alien” means. I see it as rare and beautiful, with a cheerful shiny newness, and there is no sense of threat. It hovers in one location for several minutes. There is a soft humming sound that creates a sense of amusement and perfection. I tell Zsuzsanna I will have to get our oldest son to see it. (My dream self’s memory is incomplete as usual, as we have five children, but, other than Zsuzsanna, there is only a recall of our oldest son.) When he comes to see it, a jet is approaching it from the right (though the jet is moving too slowly to be real). Suddenly, the spacecraft is gone. I am somewhat annoyed. The scene transitions into higher liminality, mostly undefined, though I am aware of our son on my left. We study an A4-sized photograph that indicates the movement of the UFO. It looks like a linear series of cirrus clouds. Its direction is implied to be from the top to the bottom of the photograph even though there is the ambiguous implication it had been in the center before the image was captured. I think the path of the jet is also defined by another sequence of narrow fuzzy white strokes that curve down to the bottom right (implied to be going in a different direction than the UFO even though it had originally been flying towards it). I am unable to comprehend the significance of the three trails because the one going to the top might be part of the one also going to the bottom (from the center). There may have been two flying saucers near the same area that speedily flew off. I am slightly annoyed about not discerning what had transpired. This dreaming experience is primarily an ambiguous combination of static vestibular system associations (still images otherwise implying flight) with the waking transition, mixed with cognition, and an attempt to discern what is otherwise the illusion of the dream state.
Updated 05-23-2020 at 01:58 PM by 1390
Afternoon of May 22, 2018. Tuesday. I am hovering above a scene of Ursula (from the “Little Mermaid” movie, though she appears as a “real” person instead of a cartoon). She seems to have been enslaved to work in a factory (on land and owned by humans), which looks like it involves capping bottles in a circular system of levers and a rotating mechanism she is strapped within (as she rotates horizontally as well). Even though she seems to be at the mercy of whoever runs the factory, she laughs weirdly, “Huh huh HA ha…,” and seems cheerful, and continues to work. This short surreal dream was influenced by seeing a “robot fail” video with a robot hand failing at its task of picking up bottles. An additional influence was from the typical water induction (though no water body occurs here) as a fictitious sea denizen as an octopus woman, which also has an association with our youngest daughter’s sticker books and coloring books as such.
Afternoon of May 20, 2018. Sunday. To save time and space, I include my age (for the first version of each dream) rather than a specific date. As I have only a tiny portion of my dreams online (about 5,000 presently), this list is very incomplete. Vestibular system correlation, inner ear dynamics, and the autosymbolic rendering of liminal physical body awareness in sleep are the cause of helicopter dreams (though spiritually represent the Merkaba), even for literal carryovers into the dream state (such as actually having been in a helicopter, elevator, escalator, and so on). This is a key factor of the dream state caused by the lack of viable discernment of the physical body in sleep (and the ambiguity of vestibular system function during REM sleep), and being as such, is unrelated to the myth of “interpretation” for waking life. (Dreams are autosymbolic, not symbolic in the conventional sense. They are rendered by way of the preconscious during RAS mediation, not the unconscious mind or so-called subconscious. The dream self is the subconscious personified, which in non-lucidity does not even have viable access to the unconscious mind or the conscious self identity, but does have more access to the transpersonal interconsciousness than the conscious self in waking life typically does, which is a key factor of prescience and other inexplicable experiences.) For some dreams, there is detail in this entry that was not included in the original post. This entry lists the factors of helicopter autosymbolism and is not meant to fully explain a particular dream or combined causes of a dream. 1) The In-Store Ride (4). Combines checkout (dream exit) autosymbolism with vestibular system correlation. I am vividly aware of being upside-down in semi-darkness in a fetal position in a coin-operated (kidney-shaped) helicopter ride. (Prenatal memory influence.) 2) Hummingbird Satellite (7). In childhood fantasy and naïvety, asteroids are perceived as giant prehistoric bones. One is approached by a “helicopter” in space, which is actually a kind of spaceship (possibly unmanned) and is caught in its orbit, whereby an “umbilical cord” (cable) connects the “helicopter” and “asteroid” (influenced by a photograph from a Time Life “Birds” book that I got for Christmas at age 7). I await news of its status. 3) Hallicopters… (8). This series of dreams was heavily influenced by my father’s Hallicrafters radio and the “helicopter” sound it made on certain channels. 4) The Sacred Rock of Thought (14). A helicopter only appears in the last segment to lift the rock (shaped like a brain). I have liminal dream control and “wish it away”. 5) Rocket Science? (15). A school bus slowly flying above the horizon in the distance has helicopter rotor blades and ambiguously has an “ancient” essence. Smoke billows out from the back. This is the last scene in this dream. (My dreams often end with vestibular system correlation as the waking process.) 6) Pterodactyl (versus my Helicopter) (16). This dream is based around liminal (non-lucid) dream control and the attempt to mediate the vestibular system ambiguity of the dream state. The pterodactyl is the RAS modulation factor. 7) Helicopter Digger (26). In this dream the vestibular system correlation fails and my dream is sustained when the helicopter, flying overhead where Leonard and I are fishing, crashes onto the ground as it oddly transforms into a digging machine (as the rotor blades continue to dig into the ground, which is autosymbolism for a desire to sleep longer). 8) Not by Helicopter this Time (34). I decide to get bicycles (which I am not sure are ours) to travel with Zsuzsanna rather than taking a helicopter, which is having problems, clotheslines (at least perceived as such) caught in the rotor blades and partly melted rotor blades. This has links to other dreams, such as ones where bicycles had melted and another where only a rotor blade was tied onto parts of a clothesline. Both bicycles and helicopters are a similar form of vestibular system correlation in the dreaming and waking process. 9) Vapid Comic Strip (34). This vestibular system correlation is based more on the precursory anticipation of the waking process and remains static in the ultradian rhythm event. I am looking at unusual daily (black-and-white) comic strips but I only recall one more clearly. A woman approaches a man near an alley and asks him if he has a helicopter and he says “no”. After the woman walks away, he says, “There goes my social life”. This is a play on the dream self not interacting with people in the real physical world until the waking process (such as vestibular system correlation) is initiated. 10) They’re After Baby Huey (35). I am watching Baby Huey (the cartoon ducking) in an unusual (fictitious) movie. Airplanes (as well as helicopters) are bombing the area. He does not even seem affected by an atomic bomb in the distance. There is a likely play on the UH-1 Huey Helicopter. 11) Twilight UFOs and Souls (36). A small unmanned helicopter gathers data about the souls that fly thought the sky just before sunrise. 12) Haunted Fun and Budgie the Little Helicopter (36). Even though the main theme features “haunted places” and “ghosts” (though at an amusement park), Budgie the Helicopter flies around at one point, seeming life-sized and “real” (though which is a mechanical park attraction, I assume, rather than “alive”). 13) White Camels (38). I fly around using a portable helicopter propeller. 14) Angel Doctor (48). Helicopters are only mentioned in this dream, as a dream character erroneously states that I am probably flying around because of a helicopter holding me up with wires. (This dream still ties in with liminal recognition of the autosymbolism of dreams.) 15) In Defense of the “Siren” (53). Burl Ives talks about how my wife Zsuzsanna called up the giant turtle and crashed his helicopter in a direct reference to the movie “The Bermuda Depths” (a television movie from 1978). 16) Futile Shooting at a White Gorilla in the Enchanted Forest (53). “Twelve multicolored butterflies eventually encircled the area (horizontally) so swiftly that they created a clear impression of a helicopter rotor - in fact, a subtle sound of a rotor was vaguely discernible later on during a transitional (shift in unconsciousness) period.” 17) Sensual Bliss, Enhanced Sense of Touch, Infinite Peace (53). Another family visits me and my family, arriving and leaving in a helicopter. I also telekinetically cause a stolen barbecue to fly back to its owner. 18) The Helicopter Bag (53). I try to cause a medicine bag (with marbles in it, though the contents become pillow stuffing later) to fly by use of a toy helicopter’s rotor blade and rubber bands. 19) Volcanic Events (53). In a very surreal situation, the potential of rescue by remote-controlled miniature helicopter in lifting us from a rug that is somehow floating on lava (but of which is ultimately not perceived as dangerous) is part of the scenario. 20) Helicopter and Seagulls (54). Seagulls telekinetically guide a helicopter I am flying in (in which the pilot had disappeared) back to shore. A young mischievous version of Zsuzsanna (implied to be a seagull in her “true” form) flies up (from the surface of the ocean) into the doorway to greet me. 21) Snake Afire (54). RAS modulation using the snake alert factor is sustained into a much longer dream scenario with Zsuzsanna. A man in a helicopter shows up and flies over the area checking for the presence and activity of snakes. He later walks up with a temporary map saying how they are mostly in the mountain belt at this time. 22) Pterodactyl Driver (54). The white spy from Mad Magazine’s “Spy vs. Spy” is driving a real car. His head turns into a pterodactyl’s, which then spins and becomes a helicopter rotor blade, and which then flies up and away. 23) Blocked-off Buildings (54). A helicopter crashes near a building at the end of my dream, causing glass to fly, though I (and another unfamiliar dream character) am not injured. 24) Straight-up Mining (54). In this dream, vestibular system dynamics are very skewed. Cars and trucks go straight up and down a tall mountainous structure for mining purposes. I ride in a helicopter with my wife Zsuzsanna in the first scene. 25) Dreams Define the Path of Waking From Them (55). A helicopter rotor blade is connected to the top of monkey bars (apparently with a clothesline, as the unlikely and illogical structure was supposedly being privately used to hang clothes on). Vestibular system autosymbolism and transitional associations with waking autosymbolism is combined, as the helicopter rotor blade also implies part a bridge of sorts in this case. 26) Helicopter Landing (55). A miniature remote-controlled helicopter somehow flies me back to our bed in our present home. Both it and my dream body phased through the ceiling in this curious waking transition autosymbolism. 27) Amusing Helicopter “Rescue” (55). Pierce Brosnan, as James Bond, but only about five inches high, flies a miniature helicopter to come to “rescue” me from the top of a commercial building. I oblige my dream’s intent by placing a pillow-like version of myself in bed into the helicopter to wake myself. 28) Helicopter to Spaceship to Helicopter to… (55). This dream was somewhat “dull” in its level of dream self awareness until the last segment. A helicopter flies overhead but transforms into a spaceship (unknown if alien or not) and back again each time it flies over. 29) Lucid Priest Indeed (55). The last scene in my dream (though part of a false awakening) features an upside-down silhouette of a helicopter in a magazine I am looking at. 30) Being Wrong in a “Nights in White Satin” Argument (55). An additional dream state indicator (as well as the unfamiliar bedroom I am in) relates to playing and hearing the “Nights in White Satin” Moody Blues song. I get into an nonthreatening argument where I mistakenly remember the song included sounds of helicopters, actually thinking of the beach scene from “Apocalypse Now”. 31) Helicopter Not Landing Yet (56). I am in a very large room in a commercial building where at least two unknown males are looking at monitors. I am “sleeping” on blankets on the floor. This setting is ambiguously supposed to be occurring inside a helicopter that is flying over a foggy area with jagged rocks (and I feel vague movement as such), but I am never concerned about any possible danger. 32) Return Flight Oddity (56). There are different types of vestibular system autosymbolism, though both are caused by liminal anticipation of the waking process. In this case, the association is static and an image is featured that displays, in four panels, an airplane (top panel), two helicopters (each in middle panels), and a flying man in a cape (Superman, bottom panel). All are facing to the left, indicating a liminal desire (or intent) for reinduction. 33) Bizarre Tourist Trip into the Past (with Apollo 11) (56). From a helicopter falls the Apollo 11 spacecraft, its parachutes immediately opening, the craft seeming a bit larger than it should be. I expect that it will probably explode (liminal dream control) and it does. It explodes into a massive fireworks display, debris flying everywhere over a dense forest, though my dream continues from here into other typical forms of waking process autosymbolism. 34) A Beautiful Beach, Cool Water, and…Almost Kicking Someone (56). I expect to get a “ride back” by helicopter, but instead, I become more self-aware and my dream is sustained by water reinduction on a beautiful beach at night. 35) Helicopter Ride into the Beautiful Mountains (56). I ride with others to high beautiful mountains to a fictitious workplace where lamps are made from precious stones, as well as at least one transparent statue of a dolphin with human limbs. 36) The Wrong Dodo (56). I am viewing the scene as if incorporeal. A dark-haired girl (probably a young version of Zsuzsanna) is piloting a helicopter. A large dodo (bird) with a blue ribbon around its neck jumps into the helicopter from some sort of door or opening on top. (This is not logical, as the helicopter’s rotor would otherwise prevent an event such as this.) 37) Fixing a Bridge (featuring Dean Norris) (56). A helicopter drops off a young version of Zsuzsanna in a bridge-fixing scenario with Dean Norris. 38) Usual Induction; Atypical “Snowmocopter” Waking Transition (56). A composite vehicle of snowmobile and helicopter occurs in this dream. 39) No Toy Soldier Rescue (57). A helicopter is apparently on a “rescue” mission to recover toy soldiers from the backyard of our present address. 40) Helicopter Vestibular Autosymbolism in Education Report (57). With the Department of Education report I am working on, I also have papers related to my own ongoing education. I see an A4 paper with my sketch of a helicopter on it and consider if the parts should be labeled.
Updated 05-25-2018 at 05:38 AM by 1390
Morning of January 6, 2013. Sunday. In a mostly featureless field, there is a dead tree with sparse branches seen in early evening, apparently just after sunset, and in semi-lucidity. In touching the tree, I ground myself without a focus on the anticipation of vestibular system ambiguity. I am fully in my fictitious dream body for the duration. I vaguely recall previous dreams of living trees reaching out to stroke my face with the tips of their branches, in seemingly expressing love as an essence of nature itself. I notice movements across the bark on the side of the tree, a shifting of kite-shaped patches of golden “skin”, which sometimes feature a singular eye. I notice that part of the tree is breathing, a part of its bark moving out and back in with the same overall size as a person’s abdomen. Eventually, I become aware of a female Buddha looking at me somewhat blankly, perhaps puzzled by my presence. There is a change of awareness and temporality, a “blind spot” of which I do not pay full attention, a very common factor of the dream state when full lucidity is not present. A female Beetlejuice modulates my dream from here, though she is not threatening in any way (as preconscious modulation sometimes is when the need to wake and attend to real needs is greater). For a moment, I consider how serious it seems, even with a link to the spiritual, though I eventually come to terms with how silly the scenario is. I recognize the waking transition as it is rendered as an outdoor wooden staircase (as relating to vestibular system autosymbolism), which does not seem connected to a building. I faithfully use the stairs without slipping or falling (or the staircase changing form or collapsing), noticing the steps are rendered rather well. It all comes down to the usual vestibular system correlation with the personified preconscious (and additionally in this case as the vestibular system personification as the female Beetlejuice accompanying my subconscious self at this point), an extension of RAS mediation, passively leading the way in a liminal space where the religious fantasies wrought by others, and the movie fantasies wrought by others, are ultimately equal. Additional notes on the cause and meaning behind this dream: Way back when I was four years old and vowed to myself to understand and master the dream state, I came to realize that seeing eyes moving in a dream, especially when isolated, is primarily based on liminal awareness of being in REM sleep (though was also influenced from “sleep watching” the “Outer Limits” episode of “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” at age 4). There have been many dreams with this detail. In the eyes being on the tree, the tree in this case, especially in being in the mostly featureless field, represents the static (unmoving) status of my physical body during sleep.
Morning of January 3, 2017. Tuesday. In my dream, I am living in an unknown residence. I am only vaguely aware of my family as they are now. I am in a cold indoor environment in the wintertime (even though it is very warm in real life). To my right is a large hot water heater of an unrealistic design and which nearly reaches the ceiling. There is also a furnacelike feature near the top. I have an object that resembles a circuit board. A few wires are sticking out. By rubbing two wires together I can start a fire and make the room warmer. There is a ramp along the wall. After several attempts to get a fire going, a small fire finally starts. The entire circuit board is soon ablaze. I am enjoying it until I notice a couple of additional flames higher up that may or may not have come from my activity with the circuit board. There is an unfamiliar young male present at one point. He points out that the hot water tank is now releasing sizzling water. I unplug the hot water tank and the water stops squirting from various areas of the tank, especially near the top. I grab a white plastic bucket and fill it with water from the faucet. I fling it upwards but see that I will have to climb up to make sure all the flames are doused. When I get to the top near the ceiling I notice the top of the wall opens into another room. It is like an attic with a low ceiling. An older woman (of perhaps sixty) is sitting close to my side and an unknown young girl is sitting on a couch across the room and reading a book. The fire seems to be going out. I apologize to the unknown female but she does not seem angry or annoyed. Looking down at a table in the implied doorway of this unlikely room (though I think it is some sort of open vent that is not meant to serve as a door), I see a Gold Key “Star Trek” comic book (which is a real-life cover of a comic book I have not had in years). The top of the cover’s image is nearest me so is upside-down. There seem to be a couple of burn marks on it and it also appears mostly in grays. I say, “Oh, I have this comic book,” and the woman says, “I know, I gave it to you”. This puzzles me at first, but I do not say anything else about the comic book. “I had my gloves sitting there,” she says, indicating that she had a pair of gloves sitting on the “Star Trek” comic book. She seems to be implying that the fire had burned them up completely. I tell her that it is unlikely as there were only a few small flames which had gone out quickly. I slowly wake while wondering what else to say. Dream state and waking process autosymbolism fully explained here: Lucid dreams are not the same as controlled dreams. You can be lucid and not in control of either the dream environment or the dream body. You can direct and modulate the dream without lucidity. Dream control is a separate state than maintaining self-awareness in the dream. Lucid dreaming is not a “skill” (and for me has always been a natural state since earliest memory). Neither is dream control, though it does become fundamental upon understanding dream state autosymbolism and how RAS (reticular activating system) mediation works. My dynamic and transient subconscious self in non-lucidity, because of isolation from both my unconscious mind and my conscious self, does not usually possess viable memory of waking life or reasoning skills. The rendering of the hot water heater is a thread of the liminal awareness of my physical body being too warm in my real environment, and is rendered to my dream self’s right as I sleep on my left side (my right more liminally aware of the real environment as a result). The cool fictitious environment is a result of a liminal thread of the conscious desire to be cooler. Additionally, water is autosymbolism for the depth and dynamics of sleep. Liminal dream state awareness is inherent (a liminal realization of being in the dream state, yet without being lucid; a result of synaptic OR gating; my conscious self being aware I am dreaming while my dream self is not) and liminal dream control (the circuit board as autosymbolism for RAS mediation). Synaptic gating is triggered from the liminal awareness that water is sleep and fire is waking (achieving consciousness). However, I non-lucidly sustain and control my dream at this point before the preconscious factor renders a young male to caution me on modulating my dream due to my real-life environment being too warm. (This is a “primitive” but very important biological mechanism, just as the autosymbolic call to wake and use the toilet is). “I unplug the hot water tank”. I moderate my intent of dream state sustainment and reinduction, though I still have a tentative desire to sustain my dream by throwing water from a bucket. I decide to enter the waking space willingly. I liminally seek out the RAS bulwark and find the liminal space divider (that otherwise separates the dream self identity from the conscious self identity). This is rendered as the unusual opening into what is implied to be an attic and is a form of sustained doorway waking autosymbolism. The attic relates to higher thinking skills (and also has an association with the thalamus in contrast to RAS) that are only viable when awake. RAS personification (as the old woman) is rendered. The usual vestibular system autosymbolism becomes the focus but is rendered in static form as a “Star Trek” comic book cover, which additionally signifies the sustainment of the liminal space transition and the lessening of waking start anticipation (which is typically experienced as the falling sensation of which is solely biological). Additionally, I am in the timeless transpersonal stage where it could be said that the old woman and young girl are both versions of my wife Zsuzsanna on opposite sides of the timeline. Personified RAS (transforming into this dream’s emergent consciousness factor) talks about her gloves having been on the comic book. (The fire had gone out, as the waking alert factor is no longer needed.) This is subtle autosymbolism of the knowledge of dream state modulation, as hands and gloves represent potential control of the dream state. There is also the implication of the control of vestibular system dynamics in this case as evidenced by the gloves being atop the static flight symbol imagery. Gloves additionally augment the illusion of physicality. (The dream self does not have a real physical body, and a practice that some lucid dreamers utilize is looking at their hands as a “reality check” to see if they look unusual or have the wrong number of fingers.)
Morning of May 16, 2018. Wednesday. In my dream, I find myself looking at Facebook. The technology is not rendered correctly. There is a monitor at first, but this dream becomes of the usual “paper technology” type. I notice a comment on my timeline. It reads, “Stop posting fake pictures” - in reference to real photographs that Zsuzsanna and I had posted of our youngest daughter. This annoys me. I respond by writing, in handwriting with a pen, on a page in a spiral notebook, though somehow also going to my Facebook page, “You are a moron” and “That is our daughter, you moron”. I eventually write a number of longer sentences. He is from another site (a music site for musicians) that I used to post on that no longer exists, though in my dream, there is also a vague composite association with a classmate from the 1970s and who is also on my friend’s list. In actuality, the poster is fictitious and not realistically based on a real person on my friend’s list. His username in my dream is “beasts” (written exactly as such in lowercase and plural for some reason), which I see written clearly several times (even though print is most often not consistent in the dream state). There is a vague association with a real poster by a different name, but he has never been confrontational in this way. By the end of my dream, it continues to follow the same typical association with computer technology being rendered on paper, yet somehow working with the Internet. I flip through the pages of my spiral notebook, looking at other instances of when he made comments on other people’s posts, and which the paper somehow “refreshes” the comments without my dream self discerning the impossible erroneous association. It also has the usual “activation” by sweeping or pressing my finger on the page as if on an iPhone. This is the usual thinking skills correlation as waking process autosymbolism. I even had a carryover to my dream of the next day (“Pet Brontosaurus and Fake Mad Magazine?”), where my subconscious self perceives a Mad Magazine as fake, which, because it is the dream state, is indeed “fake” when compared with the consistent validity of waking life. The influence may also come from the rough association with a real poster calling Facebook “Fakebook”. Curiously enough, I was, as is often the case, vaguely aware while in my dream of the RAS factor and its personification as the otherwise fictitious Facebook user “beasts” (as the RAS function is often also rendered as a wild animal depending on the dream, its core form being a snake). Somehow though, this unusual type of synaptic gating did not entail lucidity of any kind. In dreams, I am often aware of the presence of RAS or the preconscious (and even the meaning of a dream’s autosymbolism while still in the dream, as distinct from hypnopompic disclosure) and it almost always has the same mood and essence as in early childhood. Yet curiously, this is often not enough to trigger in-dream awareness of the dreaming status itself (though does sometimes serve as such).
Morning of May 17, 2018. Thursday. My non-lucid dream self becomes aware of being in a new variation of the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house (where I have not been since 1978) rather than our own present bedroom. As is most often the case, it is perceived as part of our present home. I am aware of being married and having a family as in real life (even though my family has never been to America). They mostly appear as they do now in reality. My youngest son is the one I am most aware of in this case. Near the center of the room is a living brontosaurus. It is small; only about three feet long. Our kitten from real life is near it. I eventually notice that the brontosaurus has short fur (which I vividly feel as I pet it), which puzzles me somewhat. I start to consider that it may grow too big to keep as a pet and I wonder what will happen to it or what we will do. This also puzzles me but I think about how it may be genetically engineered and so may not get as big as it would otherwise. I pet it for several minutes as it lies on its left side on the floor. Something scares it, possibly the kitten, and it gets up and runs to the north side of the room. It hides under a bookshelf (one of the tall cheap plastic ones that have a space underneath, though in reality, there would not be enough space for a small animal). I reach for it but cannot quite get to it at first. I do eventually, and pull it out to calm it. Later, I notice it is bigger, about the size of a young person. It looks very different and is walking around on its back legs and is wearing clothes. There are a few unknown people in the room, mostly around twelve years old. The brontosaurus looks just like a person at times. I consider how he is able to pull his head down so that his neck is no longer than that of a normal person. He talks at times. A girl calls him a “funny looking person” and the brontosaurus says, “I’m not a person”. My youngest son has about five Mad Magazines, which I had not seen before. They may be recent issues. “Are these from the library?” I ask. Apparently, they are ours. I sit on the middle of the couch on the south side of the room. My son is to my right. My memory of our brontosaurus pet and its transformation is no longer present. I look at the cover of one issue and it is a painting of Alfred E. Newman’s head. Looking more closely, I see that the painted image has a very strange texture, like woven wicker. The paper itself seems to also hold this pattern. I decide that this means it may be counterfeit. “This looks like it might be a fake,” I say. I look through the issue and see that from about halfway through the pages, the texture of the page seems normal. I notice a four-panel black-and-white Don Martin gag, featuring a man and woman walking around in a city, though I do not read it. I look at several other pages without really attempting to read anything. I decide that the unusual nature of the cover and first pages may mean that it was only a misprint. This dreaming and waking process is more specific to the last dream of a sleep cycle and it even begins in a thread that already establishes the subliminal awareness of being asleep (bedroom setting). The final scene renders very common autosymbolism that establishes an association with thinking skills correlation, a required precursor for actual reading. This is because the subconscious self cannot perform viably due to its dynamic nature and illusory nature of the dream state. (Writing or print in non-lucid dreams often changes when reading it again and it is often random gibberish. Temporality and discernment cannot be sustained in an illusory state of unconsciousness). This is used in the waking process quite often, several times a week for over fifty years in my case, though it is not as common as autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation. Note how the brontosaurus, as an animal and illusory pet, hid under the bookshelf, which contained books. After this scene, coming out from under the bookshelf, it became more like a “person”, as human consciousness is required to read with viable discernment in waking life. This is the autosymbolic nature of the waking process that correlates to the last part of my dream, that is, being less of an illusion by way of initiating waking consciousness for reading and thinking skills, which the subconscious (analogous to a “primitive brontosaurus”) does not have. The analogy is duplicated by first perceiving the magazine as “fake”, which it is, as it exists only in the dream. Thus, it cannot be fully read and discerned (and it is even a composite of sorts, as it has the texture of our wicker bookshelf from real life), though from here, thinking skills correlation kicks in and I slowly wake. My son is on my right, the usual waking autosymbolism orientation, as I sleep on my left side (and left-side orientation would naturally imply the return to deeper sleep).
Morning of May 16, 2018. Wednesday. I become aware of sitting on a couch in an unfamiliar office. From my left, two unfamiliar men had been talking to me, one at a desk (facing the same direction as I am, toward the opposite wall), the other standing farther back and facing me. There is also a door to my left, between me and the desk. Apparently, I am present to take on a new job in their factory. A special agency had apparently sent me here, though there is no definite backstory. I am to serve as a foreman. There is an extraordinarily vivid and focused awareness of being in the room, though I consider that I may have fallen asleep briefly as they were talking, but they do not seem to notice. I remain relaxed and confident as they speak. There are no threads of my conscious self identity present at all even though I feel like myself. Only one thread of my conscious self identity is present in the last scene. The man who was standing walks over to a large bookshelf (against a wall perpendicular to the couch I am on and also to my left) and picks up, from the middle shelf, a large leather satchel or what resembles an oversized purse, though it may be implied to be an oversized backpack. They will be producing this item as I am working for them. The man demonstrates how the zipper opens and closes over the top. It does not seem finished. In fact, there seem to be parts of the device that was used to make it still attached to each side. I decide to speak, to give them the impression I am attentive. “Is this item made manually,” I ask, “or is it set up on a machine?” I lift my arms up in front of me and make motions as if I am pulling a lever with each hand simultaneously. The male who is standing says something about machines, but is not clear on the answer. My dream self is not aware that the couch I am sitting on had suddenly rotated (with no feeling of movement) ninety degrees to the left so that it now faces the right side of the desk. The man at the desk is looking over some documents. “You will only be watching each employee to make sure they are doing their work,” he says. He continues very seriously, “You are their master, and they are your slaves.” I find his statement slightly puzzling, but I do not say anything. It sounds like easy work, just watching someone else. I try to recall the agency that sent me, but I cannot think of the backstory of this scenario. Soon, I am in a different room without putting much thought into it or even having gotten up at any point. The two men are still present, but one is facing me while sitting at a large table and the other is sitting on a kitchen counter. I still seem to be sitting on the “same” couch. The man on the counter is holding a mat of the type made from recycled tires, a product of a factory I first worked at when I was eighteen years old. It is not implied to be a product they will be making. In fact, it is missing much of its right side (my right) when held up vertically by the man. I tell them this and describe the manufacturing process to them. I again make motions with my hands and describe how it is put together. “They start by slicing the tires into strips,” I say, “and then they put the spacers between the strips. Mostly all there is on that side are the metal rods holding it together.” I then describe how the metal rods are bent on a worktable. My dream eventually fades during this scene. Again, the only thread of valid conscious self identity is in the last scene, though that is a very old thread from about forty years ago and even so, rendered into an otherwise fictitious scenario. I continue to find it interesting how many non-lucid dreams have no associations with current waking life at all and I always remain baffled as to why so many people believe in waking-life-related “interpretation” above any real attempt to understand the dream state. In this case, even the autosymbolic nature of the dream state does not seem fully active other than the usual preconscious factor and the implied thinking skills correlation to initiate waking life consciousness. In addition to getting me to focus on thinking processes, my dream self’s status is seen by how the mat is incomplete on its right side, as waking autosymbolism is oriented to the right. It implies, while in my dream, that my bed is solid underneath me on my left side (analogous to a mat one steps upon). Thus, the essence and imagery of this final dream feature is more “solid” on my left, while waking reality, the openness to my real environment (right side), is causing my dream to render this fact with biological environmentally-based autosymbolism (my dream self’s awareness of my real environment is incomplete in this scene, thus that side of the mat is incomplete). This type of autosymbolism has been rendered in virtually countless previous dreams.
Updated 05-16-2018 at 08:24 AM by 1390
Morning of May 15, 2018. Tuesday. My dream self exists in non-lucidity in this dream, with the usual separation from viable conscious self identity. I am apparently living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house in Florida (where I have not lived since 1978), which somehow seems to be erroneously associated with living in Australia while in my dream, though it is the sole thread of my current conscious self identity. There are two dumpsters in the front yard, which is smaller than in reality, and closer to the highway. I had apparently been cleaning the house and I am ready to get rid of some things. I have two stacks of thin wooden letters of which are seemingly identical. Each stack contains at least the entire alphabet and perhaps some extra letters. Each letter is about four inches high. I have no use for them, so I am going to put them in the dumpster. However, I am distracted by finding two handwritten letters from Dennis (older half-brother on my mother’s side). The content of the two letters seems identical. I read both. I notice a sentence that says something like, “It is too bad that people did not use the letters and do not want to see LIFE” (only “LIFE” being printed in uppercase). I take this as an egotistical statement from him in thinking people have to respond to whatever he wants them to do. It seems like he somehow knows I am throwing the wooden letters out even though he had written the letters a few years previously. (This of course is due to the autosymbolic nature of the dream state, which many people cannot seem to grasp at all.) The top letter on one pile is letter X. At another point, I am looking at the letters T and F, and focus on their horizontal wood grain. There is a distortion where I associate the letters with being “corrugated”, though this is incorrect, as they are not corrugated. It is probably a liminal association with the synaptic “gating” of the dream state; a play on my dreaming “core is gated”, validated by the liminal space autosymbolism of a roof being the core space between dream self and conscious self, as the carport roof in Florida was corrugated tin). This dream then, while still in my dream, becomes associated with a very old random memory from around 1982 that surfaced the other day for no apparent reason; an event from when I was in woodshop class. Dennis had given me some very small wooden shelf railings, with short columns shaped somewhat like Chess pawns (known as “spindle railing” for shelves - shelves of this nature can be seen by image Googling “spindle railing shelf” without the quotes). He wanted them back before I got a chance to do any work on them as he had asked. I suspect that this was this dream’s vestibular system autosymbolism, which has been my most common form of dream state autosymbolism since earliest memory, as the wooden railing resembles a wooden ladder (associated with the waking transition of the dream state). Additionally, the fictitious wooden letters from Dennis are a form of typical consciousness initiation (as discernment of printed text is not viable or consistent in the dream state so this is often used to initiate awareness of conscious self skills and the waking alert factor). I suspect there was also a distortion of “letter” with “ladder” (because of the direct transformation of the association while still in my dream), as viable thinking skills are not possible in non-lucid dream states. The correlation in this case is likely coincidental. Many factors of the English language developed this way, apparently by chance rather than intent. Thus, there is “letter” - increasing discernment of waking identity - followed by “ladder” - autosymbolic prop for waking identity. The sentence by Dennis is also a waking alert factor as it implies seeing real life outside of the dream state and not seeing dreams as always having waking life meaning as some people do.
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