lucid

Night of February 21, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,231-05. Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 45.



I become aware that I am dreaming. I first perceive myself to be in a featureless room in semidarkness. Soon, there is the perception of my thoughts and awareness expanding. As a result, a staircase forms with the simultaneous presence of white noise.

As it appears, it creates the impression of hissing “snowflakes” (white points of light) suddenly coming together to form a white staircase in front of me with the appearance of a photographic negative. Rather than ascending it to investigate, I decide to walk out through a door to my right to wake, but I wake to feel blessed and loved.

---

My dream had subliminal influence from a scene from “The Other,” a 1972 horror film, in which Niles is placing cattails everywhere in the barn, including the staircase. (Additionally, carrying and moving the cattails results in a rustling sound similar to white noise.) Even so, it correlates with the autosymbolic construct of the dreaming and waking processes.

A staircase, which is a factor of vestibular system correlation, becomes a feature in a dream when I either anticipate or subliminally, liminally, or concurrently will a difference in the level of dream state focus of awareness and anticipate changes in perception of my illusory physicality. It is used in meditation and hypnosis to go into and out of different levels of consciousness. Descending the staircase typically correlates with entering the state while ascending correlates with the waking process.

Precursory contemplation of a vestibular system simulacrum (a projection of the subliminal, liminal, or concurrent anticipation of the waking process) occurs here but does not complete. In the movie, the character Ada (falsely perceived as an angel in the scene in the first moments) attempts to kill Niles by burning the barn down, but he escapes through a door as she jumps into the fire.

It is intriguing how the subliminal recall of a horror movie can result in a dream of a very different nature with a satisfying outcome.

---

Morning of February 11, 2014. Tuesday.



I believe February 11th is somewhat of a significant date (for me to some extent) because of the 2 - 11 pattern (as part of the huge 2, 6, 9, 11, 22, 69, 96, etc. links).

This is a fairly short semi-lucid dream that is more like an in-dream “vision”. I am watching, over time, a giant diamond rotating in no particular location. Each facet of the diamond is like a mirror, each “reflecting” (from an unknown location) a different female face.

There are very strong feelings of love and well-being as the “mirrors” of this giant diamond “slowly explode” outward as a somewhat random pattern. At the center of all this is my wife. She is smiling at me. I strongly feel that she is the “only true female that exists in this world” (or “universe”/“dimension” wherever) and is the origin of all others since earliest memory (even imaginary aspects of female characters in past dreams as well as all other females throughout history). This makes perfect sense to me since she was (in my opinion) the first female I “sensed” at a deeper level on her day of birth from across the wide ocean (while near the Port Charlotte region).

I suppose there is also a very vague connection to the very similar imagery (of the rotating diamond-like facets) of the “Superman” movie (1978) concerning “The Phantom Zone”, which is a negative implication - but not really relevant to my dream. Realistically, though, I do now see the Superman logo as “diamond-shaped” even though it is not geometrically diamond-shaped - it is actually very much like the diamond on a wedding ring in symbolism. Also, my wife’s anglicized first name begins with “S” and “S” is a Yin Yang representation (especially when paired with two smaller offset “c"s, though).

This dream had a lot of "perfect” energy and beauty.

Early evening of February 6th, 2014. Thursday.



This particular dream came about from more time in one “pulsing” session than usual, yet with shorter phrasing. Normally, I do feel as if my body is light and “misty” and any prior pain or discomfort vanishes completely (and stays gone for some time). I did not include any imagery programming of any kind (or any intended type of memory of visual activation), just general powerful phrases that have worked throughout my lifetime (although I do try new variations quite often - in this case I also used “Infinite Mind” in the phrasing as well as the usual “maximum well-being”). I was at the computer with headphones projecting my audio tracks at a very low volume, yet after about two hours of not paying much attention (consciously) to the sounds, I heard a very clear and distinctive “blip” in my right ear of the kind I have heard all my life when slipping into certain states of consciousness (usually when near some level of approaching hypnagogia). This is always the exact same sound and awareness shift, almost like hearing a drop of rain splashing on the top of a thin metal lid of a small jar. The sound has never varied in any way in my lifetime even slightly, which makes me know it is some sort of physical function relating to changes in consciousness and hypnagogia. It does not seem to relate at all to sleep paralysis - which always has a quite different higher-pitched oscillation, which also has always been exactly the same throughout my life in that state.

I almost lost consciousness without wanting to (my fault for letting the phrasing continue so long without focusing on an intended meditation session but I do this knowing that I do not have to actively listen for it to “work”) - and very suddenly - although I was not aware of any stable portal at the time regardless of the first “blip”. Being at this level with this particular type of special affirmation sequencing puts me in an extremely deep state even when not even listening at all - from a perceived “misty” or cloud-like physical form (by which I can still function well enough) to rock-heavy sensations (not commercial products - I only ever use my own work and knowledge of such - most commercial “tools” are not only “incorrect” - sometimes seemingly on purpose, likely to continue to make money from gullible people - but counterproductive or even dangerous or foolish by what they imply). As it was, I became too sleepy and physically “stunned” (not tired - there is a clear difference) to continue any work at the time, so I turned off the audio and rested a bit in bed. After a time, I fell into a very odd “stop” state as if I briefly died and had to “reignite myself” but not with the usual rekindled force of will - I did yell in real life at the time. After this happened, I felt very young and energized to the point where a very vague physical discomfort I had was no longer there anywhere at all - which lasted about a full twenty-four hours (often, though, such sessions do not show results until twenty-four hours later - it depends on the phrasing and how gerunds are used, it seems). Again, the “body as mist” awareness. I am honestly not sure how “material-based” or substantial this is - I am not sure of the full physical repercussions; that is, if my DNA is somehow altered - as it does seem so - I did gain full use of my left hand as a child when all the “experts” said it would not be possible due to separated nerves and tendons and the screw-up the doctor did. I did make a bad toothache vanish in a short time years ago - by which a sound like a large rock or boulder “speaking” hit me (and it seemed slightly annoyed - or maybe I perceived it incorrectly as I did not grasp what it said - but it was layered and very “loud” and in an extremely low pitch and frequency) and the toothache vanished and never came back. Similar things have happened including with the back pain I had sometime back where I could barely move without a lot of pain - but now I seem physically normal again.

During this time, I dreamed vividly of the backyard in Cubitis. I recalled something I had almost forgotten over the years - which is quite clear and vivid as I “float” around the imagery. It was the concrete birdbath my father had made my mother in the center of the yard. It was fairly large with a square top and a little “island” in the center. He wrote (engraved by moving the wet concrete) the year (and some other details including, I believe, my mother’s first name) on the top (I believe it was 1975). Also, I recall the tall round green bird-feeder we had (on a green pole). This is quite strange in how I had not held these two features in my mind for some time. I felt a sense of love and timelessness. The birdbath almost seemed like a “missing piece” of some kind and was also very clear in residual hypnopompic levels.

Morning of February 5, 2014. Wednesday.



I am walking through a large vineyard with my beautiful wife Zsuzsanna in possibly mid-afternoon. I am uncertain of the location or region. A sense of love dominates the mood.

---

Morning of January 31, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,210-01. Reading time: 1 min 20 sec.



I am in the “last cave,” the last form of existence bordering the world. I approach the wall to perhaps move on to “higher” awareness. There is a purple glow from the cave wall, a circle around the letter “M,” and two back to back instances of the letter “L” (representing our last names), which is also an upside-down “T.” It burns for a time, a “cool” fire. It also seems like an elevator button at the same time it is a lock (that I have a key for). (“M” can also represent an upside-down “W,” depending on the font or style.)

“M” is Virgo, the 6th (Yin) sign and 13th letter, Zsuzsanna born on the 13th and a Virgo. The upside-down “T” is Sagittarius (me), the 9th (Yang) sign and my birth on the 20th (T being the 20th letter). It is within the circle often reserved for the S and C (our first names when anglicized) or 6 and 9 of Yin Yang. No faux system (such as astrology) means anything, yet can form patterns to discern personal recognition.

“M” also came from the symbol for “water.”

“T” is the second (2 again) most common letter in English (after “E”). It is also the last letter of the Western Semitic and Hebrew alphabets..

T over M - “cross over the water,” a play on going to Australia to marry my twin flame Zsuzsanna

It represents TWO, approaching entropy of the English language (a coincidental letter pattern that spells “two”). The “W” (or “M”) splits into two instances of the letter “V,” the Gate itself, the Master number 22, and the bottom half of the Heart (in continuous cycles, also face to face twos). Even my last name means “the two.”

It is layer upon layer, and all the strength of every member of the human race cannot move or change it.

I am unsure where I will go. It is a phasing point that allows access to higher dimensions of any range.

---

Morning of January 10, 2014. Friday.



We are living in some sort of composite of mostly Barolin Street (same directional orientation) and the place in Maryborough on Cheapside Street, but with other differences at times (including the entrance to Stadcor Street with the outside stairs). At first, there seems to be some sort of drama with a rowdy neighbor from the halfway house visiting someone in a separate (fictional) apartment in back of where we live (which looks more like the Barolin Street area at that point). This second male, the friend of the one in back of our place who seems to be in the shower, is yelling about the score of an ongoing soccer game while standing outside in our driveway. The other male makes gasping and apparent drowning sounds (as the shower is also unlikely louder from where I am), but nothing related to that matter continues.

There is a scene where I am trying to record on a cassette tape and the player keeps “eating” it (recurring). I try to fix things up, but the tape keeps going out in different directions in figure-eight patterns. Parts are very realistic with regard to the capstan and such. I get a vague impression that one of the cassettes is my sister’s.

Later, I am in the bedroom with my wife Zsuzsanna. She is lying on our bed (which is south to north unlike the real-life west to east orientation) but I am standing near the north doorway to the hallway that was there in real life (there is also an additional fictional door to the east, which seemingly opens out directly to a downward flight of stairs and gives a feeling of being on the second floor of a building - the house was one floor but high-set in real life but did not have higher stairs in this manner), but something unusual is going on. Another male is in the room complaining about Zsuzsanna’s “supernatural” beauty because it was apparently the cause of his accident. He narrates his story (I am not sure if he is a ghost, or somehow got lost on his way somewhere else). “I was driving down the road at night and this female steps out from the wayside and I lost control of my stick shift…”

“Yes, my wife has had that effect on males,” I say sarcastically. For a moment, he almost seems like an (deceased?) “alternate husband” of my wife’s (although she never had any other long-term relationships or marriages) and seems somewhat disparaging, but not violent in any way. For awhile, he stands around not moving, almost like a statue. Other men appear eventually - a total of about five or six.

Next up comes Burl Ives (in a white suit, and with a cane and top hat) in an objurgatory stance and mood. He starts talking about how Zsuzsanna called up the giant turtle and crashed his helicopter into the “blue lagoon”. He continues, “If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never forget that big snow storm a couple of years ago.” (This is actually a recurring idea from other dreams where a type of siren or ghost was causing a blizzard, but is actually his line from “Rudolph”.) “No, no, no, that’s Sam the Snowman, not Doctor Paulis,” I say, but more to the wall, “You’ve got your roles mixed up and…you have snowballs!”

“Oh fer…you’ve got a screw loose Magnus!”, he shouts and turns to waddle down the stairs. I want to be with Zsuzsanna in private, but these idiot males standing around are starting to try my patience. The truck driver is still standing in the same spot, staring at the painting of a pirate ship on the west wall which now seems to have a bit of water coming out from the bottom of the frame and running in about four streams of differing lengths down the areas between the vertical wall boards.

Another younger male (closest to the corner of the room) narrates…“I was near shore and this young gypsy girl of unearthly beauty steps out from a caravan, and raises her arms. I thought for a moment she held a lantern to guide my way, but then…my ship was lost on the rocks…” (I briefly reflect on how my wife’s mother directly drank seawater in real life and actually bragged about how healthy it was during the time she was also a vegan, yet her last son was born autistic though has somehow fully recovered in later years.)

“You’ve certainly got your prerogatives in order,” I say sarcastically. “Yes, one girl standing in the night, you are distracted, or maybe it was a Playboy magazine - those oil tankers out there having oil spills that wipe out half the planet…watch out for that bit of venison on your plate…it may be the end of the world as you know it…”

The song “Play Crack The Sky” is sung by a transparent temporary character before my dream moves back towards my own direct focus again.

The most vivid part unfolds. I squeeze my right hand lightly into a fist and this somehow causes the male to rise in the air, about three feet off the floor. He starts to choke and seawater drips from him as he hovers in the air a few feet from me. I turn to walk and somehow he floats in the air behind me and I manage to get him out of the room without touching him. The other men look on approvingly, thinking I had healed him, and line up for me to “heal” them as well. I am glad to oblige…

---

Morning of December 25, 2013. Wednesday.



My dream (or dreams, as it seems to repeat at least once, possibly twice) has at least two sections that are nearly identical or possibly “resets”. I go into a large room from the north entrance, apparently in the early afternoon, that is somewhat like the buildings at the showgrounds near here. A large rhinoceros is lying on his right side and seems slightly injured. He is on a seemingly concrete circular platform about four inches up from the floor and about six or seven feet in diameter. I pet him and move my hand over his wounds and he seems to get healthier and healthier until he is able to stand up and move about on his legs a bit. I almost sense a sort of human-like gratitude from the animal. My dream repeats at least once from here, but with a longer gap of no dreams between, it seems. There are a few other people in the background (mostly female, likely veterinarians and park attendants) that seem to be happy about my presence and my apparent special abilities to help the rhinoceros. I have a good feeling and my dream is unusually clear in imagery and orientation considering I have not seen many rhinoceroses in real life, especially up close.

(There is ambiguity in one version of my dream; it is possible it is a pregnant female, though this is not at all certain.)

Morning of December 23, 2013. Monday.



I have decided to place this dream into the “I have no brain” category, along with a much older one I have already written on where I used a digital sampling keyboard to play a special affirmation - and when it worked and I went into an extremely vivid, lucid dream, I spent the entire dream trying to find the source of the real-life sound to turn it off so that I could continue with my dream… It takes a very “special” level of futility regarding such experiences. However, I do now use certain types of audio with self-spoken special affirmations (when I choose to - I still prefer trying to hold mental states without any aid or “tools” of any kind to get ever stronger in that department - tens of thousands of times more powerful than what appears to be mostly a nonsensical placebo effect with so-called i-dosing and binaural beats, which is basically fraud for the amazingly gullible) that produce extremely precise visual and physical patterns within hypnagogic states (what people fail to understand is that it is about specific word phrasing - not a particular sound, frequency, or “beat”, which is rather absurd as the brain does not work that way - if it did, most of humanity would be controlled by random birdsong and other sounds) - something which mostly no other person (relative to commercial products), that I know of, knows anything about (other than my wife and a few select friends from my past) - which can only be a good thing.

One of my last dreams (“Agates and holograms”) had an additional layer of composite precognition (in addition to my wife actually having looked at new holograms at the mall without my knowledge), as most do at one level or another - and is so common, it often goes unnoticed or “unremarkable” and thus not written about even in summary (although I am trying to break that lifelong habit) - as precognition and highly detailed prophetic consciousness has been a continuous day to day driving force in my life since just prior to birth. In this case, the additional precognitive element of that dream involved my brother actually posting a series of photographs on Facebook, on my own timeline (as in my dream), for the first time ever, even though we have both been on Facebook for years. One of the images was me at around age five playing with a husky (supposed wolf-hybrid, apparently) - and another, a bit older, sitting at a table with a large open stamp album. When the real-life event unfolded much as in my dream, the link did not even come to mind until later - which should be a hint as to how common and “normal” precognition is for me. It is much like breathing or food digestion in my opinion.

Anyway, on to this dream. I appear to be at a computer in some sort of chat room (which I have hardly ever been on in real life in my lifetime), but the overall look is similar to a group-type page as on Facebook and the messages from the sender (account-holder) appear as stylized windows with various fancy writing in as opposed to just straight lines of text - although the one responding (in this case, me) sees their own messages appear as mostly just lines of text. I appear to be engaged in conversation with a younger female tulpa (I do not actually see her at any point even on the screen) regarding potential healing sessions, musical ideas, gags about “normal” humans, mental development, and so on.

In a short time, I notice that a large thinner section of skin has separated from the back of my hand; fully, evenly, and perfectly. The back of my hand has a large and perfectly circular wound that looks much like watermelon (without the seeds). However, it does not hurt much. The tulpa tells me that if I hold the skin that came off over the wound that my hand will go back to normal in a short time. This does not seem to work, though. I have a thin white square piece of cloth by which the circular section of skin sticks to the cloth and will not stay attached to where it was separated from. I am not quite sure how she knows about my problem and do not remember actually typing such a message, and what comes next is rather futile. (In real life, only after waking, not prior to sleep, I did notice how a very small circular wound on the left side on my right pinkie was causing that small area to be a bit sore).

A seemingly second message (after the coherent one regarding what to do about the wound - which may have come about as a result of weeding) appears onscreen that is mostly made up of “baby words” - that is - the kinds of nonsensical phrases that an adult says to a baby to “entertain” them or get their attention. I make out some of the pattern, which appears in a highly stylized window with a floral theme, as something like “coo coo fizzle fitz coo coo gooey fitz oh my goo goo foo foo fitz fizzle” or very similar. I am not quite sure what to make of this. I try to type a response, but all that comes out is random letters, apparently because my hand is wounded.

I send about half the messages I type, but give up on half because there are too many random letters interspersed with the intended words. Most sentences, I attempt to type correctly several times over. After about ten minutes of not being able to focus enough to get any words correct, I receive the message, “Are you still there? I am waiting. "I simply cannot type because of my "injured” hand, it seems.

So, using the ever futile “dream logic”, I try to type “I cannot type because the sore on my hand prevents me from typing”. That makes no sense, does it? I end up giving up because I cannot even get the first few words to come out correctly.

I then spend the next ten minutes or so trying to type “I cannot type”…(oh brother)…assuming the “conversation” will still continue in a coherent or productive, possibly enriching manner. There are a few other messages onscreen that relate to wondering if I am still there or needing anything. The tulpa seems extraordinarily patient (long after most people would have went on to do something else), but then, they have to be, to serve the dreamer unconditionally.

Finally, I decide that attempting to type and send “my hand” (hoping that somehow that message will be fully understood) might be doable. I type something close to “mjyjo hkajndjp” and send it, growing weary of the events after a seeming half-hour, at least.

As a result, the tulpa finally starts solely typing equally indiscernible gibberish and sends a small banner-like horizontally-scrolling, somewhat sketchy cartoon of the old-style Kewpie dolls having some sort of co-operative can-can dance across the screen amidst randomly falling flower and snowflake patterns.

The failure, overall, seems more related to my distorted in-dream hand-eye coordination rather than having a hurt hand. However, it is also as if certain keys change their letter values at times as soon as I type them.

Morning of December 9, 2013. Monday.



In my dream, it seems to be the last day of middle school, possibly not the last day of the grade but prior to a supposed spring break, involving only sixth to eighth grade classes though I seem to be the oldest and with the highest level of authority in some sort of “commander” role. The part of the “school” we are in (which I perceive as probably being only about a quarter of the size of my real school in conscious afterthought) seems more like a slightly familiar grocery store in some areas, as the larger room is set out with mostly empty aisles similar to a grocery store (and running east to west with us in the west area of the building) but also with sections within the shelf areas that have tables or chairs or openings depending on the section. The northernmost shelf, behind the end section, has a table with my computer set up and with a (fictional) 3-D printer closer to the end section.

Instead of trying to manipulate my dream in my full lucidity, I feel confident enough to remain mentally passive and see what happens (as I already had full control of my martial arts dream that came before this one). The group of students within my dream, mostly male, seems to be of a pretend paramilitary group involved in war games. However, there are no replica weapons, maps, or other aspects at my dream’s beginning point. Our teachers have apparently already left for the day earlier this morning. I continue to have the most authority though am still just another student it seems.

A seemingly familiar classmate in shabby greenish-gray loose-fitting clothing and of a dull-witted visage hands me a (I assume) replica Beretta M1934 (very dark matte blue), apparently from the tall narrow locker in a room through a doorway to the northwest corner. The trigger on the Beretta M1934 seems to be facing the wrong way (the crescent shape pointing towards the user), but I am uncertain of the implications - it would probably still work the same way, as everything else seems correct. (This event may have been influenced by thoughts on the new humidifier we bought in real life, in it having two buttons switched around relative to their functions though it still works). In being annoyed that a dream character had the audacity to try to get the “war games” started on terms other than mine, I mentally transform the pistol into a construct of nougat of the exact same shape and immediately proceed to eat the sweet, wonderful-tasting bluish-colored nougat - at least about twenty-five percent of it. I place it on my table and say “irrelevant” and tell him to go home, which he does a bit reluctantly.



Soon, I start to pull out maps from near the table and place them on the ends of the aisles. The one farthest to the south (all focus here is on the western ends of the aisles and there are at least four) is quite large, with at least six creases and is vertically narrower. It looks the most complex and colorful yet also seems to relate to some sort of Celtic legend or fantasy, possibly relevant to a recently released computer RPG, the implications of which start to bore me. Many of the students (including at least two unknown females) seem more interested in this than the other maps and supposed plans. It seems, though, the majority would still prefer a World War II scenario in the war games, although there are different opinions expressed from time to time, including from a couple students continuously contradicting themselves relative to their interests.

I try to get things going a little better, as there are only a few hours left on this last day before spring break, yet no one is really in costume yet either, so engaging in war games with only the person (with no uniform) and nothing else seems a bit pointless. I ask one person what they would like and they tell me “a blue machine gun”. I go over to my computer and start to type “blue machine gun” so that my 3-D printer will create one. This seems to be going fine as I type b, l, u - but then the keyboard blows up in my face in flame and smoke. There seems to be a clever but unexpected play on “blew” and “blue”, and I am really annoyed by this pun altering my intent. However, I keep going without wanting any of the other dream characters to notice my frustration. There is not much left of my computer keyboard and most of its keys are now missing (but mostly only as if removed for cleaning as there does not appear to be much fire damage), leaving mostly only a hollow space in its center area. The keys that are still on my keyboard and possibly usable are the ones with the least frequency, such as Z, Q, X, J, K, and a few others. I stoically pretend to type “blue machine gun” on the missing keys and mentally force the 3-D printer to come on and create the blue machine gun anyway. I test it and it is one of those toy machine guns that makes a sort of repetitive clacking sound. As I hand the toy weapon to the student, the barrel support turns black. “No, all blue, you imbecile,” I say to the toy weapon, and it changes back, but only for a few seconds, then returns to being all blue except for the barrel support area. Still, the fellow student seems very happy with it and runs off.

I go back to make more items that may be put to use but there is a small isolated adapter on the table related to the monitor and which seems to be open and exposing capacitors and wiring. It soon starts to sizzle, catch on fire, and make a lot of black smoke. I unplug everything. A few people notice my mishaps. Still - I mentally will everything to work without being plugged in while not even pretending to use the computer keyboard at that point. No one comments on (or even seems to care or notice much) me using my equipment without electricity.

I then consider if vehicles will be needed for our war games. I ask another student what sort of vehicle he wants and after seeming to think awhile on it, he says “a road”. I am annoyed and tell him that a road is not a vehicle and am not sure if anything will ever get started before this day ends.

Soon, many of the other students start singing the old Freakies Cereal song (from 1974), which for some reason, has been stuck in my head lately (relative to research for another dream). Apparently, I am now “Boss Moss”. “Make sure you spell it right!” I yell as the real-life song response phrase as they are all singing and leaving via the eastern doorway and then wandering about on the streets in random pursuit of each other. “Wait!” I yell, “that’s not very bright to say spell it right” (doing a dancing rhyme) “it should be ‘make sure you spell it CORRECTLY!’" No one cares, and most are still using “invisible” (imaginary) weapons - and falling over pretending to die and quickly getting up again and zigzagging north up the streets and sidewalks as my dream begins to break up and lose focus with the song still ringing in my head yet with a sense of the beginning of summer (which contradicts the implied season in the first part of my dream).

Morning of December 9, 2013. Monday.



My dream, mostly with lucid focus, begins as a sort of practice in martial arts in a building that has a long hallway (south to north). It seems to be on the second floor and seems vaguely modeled after the King Street boarding house though with partial layouts reminiscent of my high school in Florida. Over time, I deliberately do all of my movements in slow motion, which seems kind of hilarious. I run down the hallway (in a sort of leaping run) and it feels very “real” in the sense of the slow motion aspects.

Another person comes up to me, but I just punch him in the jaw. It seems that he also has the ability to move in slow motion on his own and it is also hilarious as he starts to fall backwards in slow motion but is able to stabilize himself and stay standing somehow - which is good, as he was smaller and weaker and I did not want to actually hurt him. (I actually wait for seemingly a long time to see if he recovers as such as he is falling - or seems to be falling - in slow motion.) Another person decides to make an annoying comment (I can tell this by some sort of telepathic awareness), but (just as he approaches and before he opens his mouth to speak) I deliberately place them into a much slower slow motion than the present ongoing slow motion speed. I figure that by the time others and I leave the martial arts school, he will only just then start to form his mouth into the first word of what he was originally going to say and no one will be there to hear him. That also seems hilarious.

Morning of December 8, 2013. Sunday.



I had intricate weird dreams today. I expected as much due to the fact we have a new type of air conditioner to help us sleep much better, as the warmer climate has finally gotten to be too much to deal with. I never understood how people could enjoy overly warm weather; as even with larger floor fans it is sometimes too hard to either focus or sleep. (Personally, I do not mind the colder regions, but that is not feasible - and even so my mouth had a tendency to stick to cans of soda when walking, which made consumption of a beverage a bit problematic. Napping in a bathtub full of ice cubes every other hour is not really productive either.)

In one dream, I seem to be in some sort of large, posh public theater with a very high ceiling. I am not quite sure what the performance or movie is on the stage - which seems to be at about forty-five degrees to my left. Apparently, then, the seats are not directly facing the implied stage or screen for whatever reason in architectural design (recurring). To my right is some sort of highly annoying and unwashed hippie character (almost Charles-Manson-like) making rude comments about everything and anything in the area, the performance/movie (or whatever is being shown), my clothes, his clothes, the seats, where the door is (which is fairly close and to my right - the hippie is the last character in the row to my right), how my “race” (my heritage is mixed anyway) has been treated by the dominant culture, and so on. Perhaps he is some sort of famous (or infamous) “architectural activist”(?)

To my left, there is another male, and the next person over to my left from there, his (unknown) female companion. He makes a remark (in a sort of friendly but albeit patronizing way) about me having crumbs in my hair (apparently near my left ear), which is somewhat annoying, as there does not seem to be any there when I check - or perhaps he has brushed them off. It turns out to be David Bowie - but at a fairly young age (around thirty or so). Interesting, as I have not listened to his music in a long time (and am not really a big fan - but I do like some of his songs). He is shouting out now and then, slightly lifting up in his seat (but not standing) about the performance (in a positive sense) and also perhaps to someone he knows in rows closer to the stage or screen. His shout-outs seem a little like the vocal essence of Iggy Pop. I am amazed at how vivid this part is, as I can feel the warmth from his body, the energy of his movements and the clarity and unusual “shaky” rhythm of his vocalizations. I am intrigued. He actually seems to like me, but his female companion does not and makes rude remarks about my hair and acts like she would rather be anywhere than in the theater.

After time passes, a very large red trident, glowing with a bright flame-like but internal lighting, appears directly in front of the spectators (perhaps on an otherwise unseen additional main stage that is oriented more logically than the forty-five degree one) and the round recessed ceiling lights are then much dimmer. The oversized trident (being at least ten feet high) has a bit of smaller external sparks and flames then seems to be somewhat more like a Hanukkah menorah (nine-branched candelabrum), but then made up of three tridents chained together, the outer two crossed over each other. It then seems more like some sort of construct that opens through the middle like a gate of some kind, for a live dancing performance (of the old-style kaleidoscopic-when-viewed-from above type) with red rays making “x” shapes. It gets darker and darker, and I feel movement (as if the seat is on a railroad-track-like structure) - and it seems I am instigating a lucid dream state from there. (In real life, we do have a large toy red trident, which stands upright in the living room presently - I guess a throwback to my early Harvey “Hot Stuff” days as a boy.)

I end up, oddly enough, in an ancient-looking stone-walled halls environment, somewhat maze-like, which reminds me of an enhanced and far more texturally realistic map of the original DOS “Doom” game, one of the only computer games I have ever played much, from years ago (and by which I designed a full “world” of very complex structure for its time and hopefully still have a copy of somewhere). I find the atmosphere and vividness (and growing lucidity) very pleasing. I walk around for awhile. A German Shepherd dog, with the black fur a bit more dominant mostly around the head and shoulders, appears from out of an alcove to my right (only out to his middle section from my perspective) without incident. He seems very passive and potentially friendly, but I walk on past the area. Finally, it starts to dawn on me, after walking around for a fair amount of time admiring the various types of stone textures, hanging overgrown vines sticking out from some sections, and so on, that if I am in the “game of Doom” that there should be monsters, demons, whatever around. I try to focus and let myself “enter” the concept. No good. Most “monsters” and “aliens” were banished from my dreams years ago. I try to lucidly manifest a zombie, ogre, minotaur, giant spongy eyeball, whatever. Nothing. I do a jig and wave my fists around doing a silly song something like “C'mon monsters, come and get me, come on zombies, ogres, demons, aliens come and get me!” Nothing. I guess because of twenty years of non-practice of such juvenile concepts and more viable tulpas I do not have that ability - which is no great loss, really - I just wanted to see what it was like to be “inside” a computer game to its fullest extent. After a time, I actually use the pulsing method within my dream (which is technically not wholly feasible in the dream state as you then have to use your assumed dream-body neck muscles and such and diaphragm muscles). I feel a strong almost electrical energy and subtle vibration, almost like a cross between “buck fever” and a winter chill. What is missing, however, is the quivering above the navel representing enforced will (manifestation/expectation together as one).

Finally, I see something in the T-section of the hallway ahead of me, on the right side of the adjoining hallway, some sort of movement. It appears to be a minotaur, but I am only aware of parts of the arm and legs at times. I force, as consciously and lucidly as I can within this point of my dream, an inverted pulsing much like sleep paralysis when in a semi-awake state. I say patiently…“Aliens, zombies, monsters, come and start the game…” Nothing. Perhaps there is some sort of button somewhere that begins the game but I do not see any.

Finally, my patience runs out. I decide that if I run, perhaps I will then be chased by the “Doom brigade”. It seems logical enough. I remember instigating countless chases when younger. I turn and run down the hallway at a fair speed. However, as I run, I get a different idea. I decide to see what will happen if I run straight into the solid stone wall at the end of the opposite T-section. I “smash” right into the stone wall and wake up, my body moving slightly to the side as I wake. Oh well.

Another dream involves watching strange scorpion-like arachnids on the ground in an area with no grass in our backyard. There are also crustacean-like crab creatures (which are also a bit spider-like) that seem connected to other odd variations. Over time, I notice a few scorpions that have two horn-like protrusions in the back, much like an earwig rather than scorpion-like at the “tail”. All in all, most of the creatures seem to be a scorpion in front and an earwig in back (even though arachnids and insects are not compatible at all - which I seem vaguely aware of). Later, however, my wife and children are in the backyard and the creatures seem a bit less threatening (only by assumed association - I am not concerned about them at all regarding my own safety). Now, they are actually “earwig-cane-toads”. Small cane toads for the most part, with earwig features. What next? Still, they may be a pest, but my dream is mostly uneventful.

In another dream, I am with my sister Marilyn but in my Cubitis home, which appears correct rather than as a facet of a composite as is often the case. She is only about thirty at the most (but much older than me in real life) and is sitting at the living room table to the west of the room. A daughter of Evelyn W (Evelyn W being a relative and more of a friend to my mother - and where I got the “Little Red Feather” figure from as a young child) - NW, also only about thirty, is on the south end of the same table. From there, nothing makes much sense. Supposedly, she has “driven from Chicago (Illinois)” or from (Dearborn) Michigan(?) - this seems like part of some sort of practiced self-correction (which my dreams sometimes seem to do, as if they are “building and rebuilding themselves” before becoming more coherent at a later stage) - when in real life she lived in Wisconsin for the most part. At the same time, I am aware that this, my “Florida home” is somehow presently in Australia and it seems unusual that she has “driven here” as how could anyone drive from America to Australia? Over time, she seems rather obnoxious (I heard only recently that she was disowned by family when she was alive because of taking her mother’s house and not letting anyone else have or see anything in it anymore). She has a daughter about two years of age in my dream who is sitting on the floor, and the only other character in my dream at this point is my youngest son. Nothing really adds up here. It seems like some sort of very sparse composite from a “higher dimension” with mismatched connections and self-correction at the “lower” levels.

UPDATE: I have changed this entry’s status to precognitive (though it is more correctly described as dream journal synchronicity mostly) due to the fact that a post right after mine ironically had a main aspect I did not directly mention here, that is, “red lasers” and the idea of a show: http://www.dreamjournal.net/journal/...ream_id=189818

Afternoon of December 4, 2013. Wednesday.



Although I have already done fairly short summaries regarding some of the dream content found here, I am putting it together under a new concept - “how to be an idiot in lucid dreams”, which seems to fit well with some of the material.

Perhaps the most ridiculous example of sheer futility was when I set up a Casio digital sampling keyboard - with the electrical cord holding the key down (by being pulled under the adjoining keys) and listening through my sleeping period in 1989 to an affirmation regarding “I am aware now, within my dream”. The samples could not be very long, and the same one (sole sample) was assigned across the keyboard of various “artificial pitches” with no formant option (the pitch solely being altered by the length of the sample/sound-wave, a much simpler but entirely useless way to get different pitches - people with authentic perception can easily tell that they are slowed down or sped-up sounds, primarily because the formant is as well - unlike the advanced grain stretching and frequency band with formant manipulation which I find very easy to do these days - I am still agonizing when I hear older recordings that used this older method as well as the ever-irritating and horribly “anyone-can-do-it mentality” stutter and “play any song with any sound” nonsense).

As stated before in an older summary, this did indeed “open” a lucid dream. Throughout my life, it has been a “habit” to have at least one lucid dream every day ever since I can remember (even as a baby) - which is usually the first one upon entering sleep via a hypnagogic portal. However, I have experimented with everything and anything. In this case, I had a dream where…as said before…I spent the entire lucid dream trying to find the source of the sound to stop it! How idiotic is that? Indeed, that is like listening to a hypnotist and then telling him to shut up half-way through because you are trying to be hypnotized.

In this particular dream I was trying to open doors in a long hallway, trying to determine where the sound was coming from, some of the doors being locked. I did not even make the obvious connection that the sound source was outside of my dream environment and in the real world at the time. When I woke, I felt ridiculous in being “tricked” that way.

In the “Knife Nose” dream from early 1970 (which I did not give full references to before, even in title), I was entering my lucid dream awareness. I was in the backyard in Cubitis and it seemed to be late morning. I was facing the south and sitting in an unfinished area of the larger rabbit shed near the concrete block columns. From the carport, a dog was approaching as soon as I started to get an idea on how to dream what I wanted. I got very annoyed, as dogs appearing in my dreams was always bad news in that they would soon attack or try to chase me (which is rather odd, as I do not recall any traumatic events with dogs prior to that stage of my life). I shouted out “You dogs are always ruining my dreams!” From there, the “back spasm” unfolded as the dog immediately growled and ran to me and pressed his nose into the small of my back, causing great pain and an “electrical sensation”. I have had this all my life (actually fairly common now, but not associated with dreaming - it usually occurs before hypnagogic visions kick in more fully). It seems to be some sort of strange threshold between conscious thought and expectation that triggers some sort of muscle spasm in the lower back (but now sometimes also occurs in other areas near the ribs). It is also some sort of strange combination of extreme pleasure and extreme pain. I used to think it was associated with so-called Kundilini energy.

A very similar dream resulted from yelling at a buzzard being in my lucid dream (and being tired of non-lucid dreams where buzzards sometimes posed a threat). A similar response resulted, the buzzard flew down into the carport (as I ran into it) and just as I was sitting down (as in, not making it to the front door of the actual house in time I decided to try to sit down to protect my back), it landed on my back and stabbed me with its beak, causing the exact same “back spasm” event. This seems to be some sort of both causal and premonition-like event in medical science related to “seizure premonitions” related to epilepsy, although I do not have any diagnosed medical condition of this nature. It is very perplexing, though. Which comes first? If I had not responded that way to the “characters” in my dream, would the “back spasm” still have occurred? Again, I am left with a bit of doubt over the threshold or line between premonition and manifestation. What instigates what?

A fairly common event throughout my life (perhaps because I do a lot more walking than many people) regarding the entering of hypnagogic portals each night is that, regarding certain environments that form, I am sometimes rudely kicked out of it. A fairly common event is entering the portal and walking along the streets of a city and developing full lucidity. Sometimes I have a companion, sometimes I am on my own. As I walk I become more and more integrated into my dream. However, there is sometimes the sudden tripping and falling into “nothing” and waking suddenly. There seem to be variations on this. I am already fully in the lucid dream, yet this happens. (Supposedly it only happens to some people AS they are falling asleep, not after - some say the cause is exhaustion, but this is not the case with my experiences, one name for it seems to be “hypnic jerk” although there is something called myoclonus in more extreme cases(?) - it is hard to say with all the weirdness in completely different beliefs about such things, even medically - public credibility failure as usual.)

Finally, getting to the real idiocy. What could be more idiotic and futile (and yes, this has happened to me a few times) then manifesting a lucid dream, and then trying to shut it down over concern of what various characters might think? In a few cases, I have gone around the dream environment, deliberately, yes…deliberately - trying to remove portals and “seeds” (including tulpa templates at the lucid dream level). I mean really, does a movie producer experiencing his greatest potential then decide to say - whoops, I had better change it to conform to what other characters would expect…idiocy at its finest, I would say. I am still not sure why this happens - perhaps some sort of transient state or “phasing” with the minds of other people. I have had a few dreams like this over the years. Sometimes, in my dream, I try to find any book with a reference or particular phrasing to open a portal (sometimes even a supposed talisman) and deliberately destroy it or put it somewhere else (as it is often located with someone else’s belongings somehow). In a recent example, I went through the dream environment to make sure that there were no portals or potential for such, or any evidence on dream manipulation or tulpa manifestation…I did it a few times in the same environment. This is utter idiocy at its most ridiculous extreme. It is like building a great house and then closing off half the rooms because you do not want people to know your house is bigger. Whatever. I am sure will find a “cure” one day. It is like when I “pulsed” the word “girls” many years back - and other phrases for nearly an entire day, and what did I get in-dream? A night-long adventure featuring…squirrels.

Although it certainly is not always the case, I have also held that “I had better be wary of what my real (sleeping) body is doing in real life right now”. Where is the logic of this? I am fully aware I am dreaming and the dream is as vivid as real life - and by all logic, my real physical body would be motionless in bed. Yet I have this concern in the back of my mind that my real physical body could be wandering around in the middle of the street in reality (undressed, yet), perhaps being endangered or some such or perhaps the pillow covering my mouth or perhaps there are visitors in real life and they will see me undressed or whatever. It almost seems logical in a way. There are technically “two different mes” and it seems to be by instinct that concern should be sharply focused for “both”. I have also already stated how “the shadow” seems to be the conscious self in a lucid dream (and perhaps many other types of dreams). I have tested this, and it seems to be true. I have actually caused my physical body to move by getting my shadow to do something while I - as the dreamer - remained still (a different sort of “shadow play”). This is not the rule for lucid dreams in general; in lucid dreams that otherwise had a lot of physical activity AS the dreamer, I was told that I did not move at all during my sleep - during the time period involved (which was sometimes in the daytime or during naps).

The “great adventure” continues…

Morning of December 2, 2013. Monday.



In my dream, there are two scenarios, the first one involving the refurbishing of an old wooden house in a rural area. It is high up on stumps (high enough to freely walk around under) and I look closely at the underside of the floor, noting the way the floorboards appear. This unknown house, as with our house in real life, has very thin floorboards with gaps between them. I start to wonder about how it is possible to actually walk in the house, let alone have any sort of furniture anywhere in it. I notice areas where there are smaller clusters of thicker, harder pieces of wood stuck or nailed into the bottom, somewhat equidistant in a grid pattern across the underside of the house, apparently for a bit of extra support, with additional areas of some sort of resin sloping away from the sections. The main idea here is that there are two men who disagree about what to do with the house and I am supposedly there to help, but I am not sure what to do about their predicament. It seems they have equal say in its fate. One wants to fix it up a lot better by redoing parts of it, the other does not want to bother and just wants to add a bit of patchwork, which would possibly result in a house that no one will be able to live in. Meanwhile, an unknown rural sheriff or game warden sits on a porch telling me about all the misadventures of the two men. He seems very cheerful, loud, and excited in his speech, repeating the highlights of their more recent misadventures and continuing redundant-in-theme encounters, laughing as if sharing a great comedic yet predictable legend.

Later, I am with a few unknown people and we discover two young animals that are about the size of a large cat. I hold them the most as a few other people come and go. The first one; I tell someone that it is a baby bear. However, I then notice that it has long ears and see that it is actually an arctic hare. I correct my error and talk about what it actually is as I stroke the soft long ears. The other animal turns out to be a young arctic fox. It is beautiful and calm. I pet it and stroke the bushy, soft tail. The two animals need a bit of care for now and we keep them close by. There is almost a mystical feeling as I enjoy the natural surroundings within my dream even though it is now a snowy landscape (unlike the first dream segment). The vividly rendered detail of the setting is quite precise and emotionally soothing. The hare is almost completely pure white except for a bit of darker gray around the top of the ears and the fox is the same way, but with a bit of lighter gray on the tip of its tail. They act in a very calm and passive manner instead of trying to run away.

---

Night of November 27, 2013. Wednesday.







Beautiful visions of rocks and stones rising up from the ground, from under layers of sand, changing the surface of the world many times over. It is a very clear perception, and I also feel seeming changes in my body towards a more “uniform” energy, a more relaxed state, far less muscle tension. The sand flows through the large rising rocks in the manner of a beautiful waterfall. Entire continents come and go throughout time. The falling sands seem to “sing”. At one point, a rhinoceros stands over me, nodding “her” head and snorting (I seem to be lying on my back at that point). She seems to be “angry” that I am not a rhinoceros and yet somehow found my way into the “rhinoceros collective consciousness”(?) into “her dream”. I do not feel threatened at all and start laughing uncontrollably, as I am the only male she can “contact” at that point and find the situation hilarious. She “scolds” me a bit by grunting in a friendly manner and waddles off, seemingly frustrated.

Later, I am near a lake where the banks are filled with organic debris. It is a very peaceful awareness even though my environment seems to be continuously changing (recurring), often seemingly related to time going by swiftly or perhaps “alternate universe” shifts. For a time, it looks like a covered (roofed) picnic area with room for about four picnic tables, but time seems to be moving fairly rapidly. I am aware of a man talking to a group of people for a very short time; perhaps a family reunion or perhaps a seminar, but then they are all gone and mostly all I see is old, rotting wood and detritus, which has “equal importance” as the meeting of people, perhaps more. (Around this time, there are also suggestions of a possible scene aboard Noah’s Ark.) I see various “people” having weddings in elaborate boats or just enjoying a trip over the water, but they seem more like higher archetypes or composite beings of higher human qualities. I see one moving towards me from the other side of the lake. The canoe-like boat also has some sort of unusual structure somewhat like a trellis.

The location seems to shift slightly. I am looking at a very large cauldron over a large fire. It is untended and fairly close to the lake. There are no other signs of man-made aspects of any kind on the land at this point. The cauldron, over time, goes through several unusual changes. Firstly, it is changing more into something like some sort of large round boulder that is continuously going through changes with vein-like patterns rapidly growing over it, somewhat like rust (and at one point - it almost looks like a “perfect” combination of rust and ash over the surface - again, moving like “live, growing veins” and then dissipating), but I am aware that it is mostly some sort of localized rock-cycle event. At one point, it looks like “pseudo-circuitry”; that is, a pattern of minerals and form that coincidentally looks much like wiring or a circuit-board but is wholly coincidental (I can randomly make various types of images that are similar). There is then a sort of moss-snowflake-crystal-grain-small-stone texture that grows and dissolves on the large stone in vein patterns and overall fractal-like form. (It is at least four-feet high or more.)

Eventually, I see that it is actually the planet Earth in miniature, or within a different dimension of observation. I see Gondwanaland and other protocontinents (but none of the ones people like to promote so often in New Age propaganda). Over time, I actually become aware that the appearance is Earth as it is now. Soon, I carefully watch as continents move back into each other over many thousands of years. Civilizations rise and fall. It happens a few more times before everything grows dark, yet glowing-ember-like, very beautiful.

A sense of appreciation and beauty continues throughout even though billions of living beings just blink into existence and out again, the energy recycling and splitting up into various forms, no reincarnation (which certainly could not explain the seven billion people on Earth and the exponential population increase anyway), just energy forms transforming endlessly in the same manner as the water cycle, the rock cycle, the nitrogen cycle, and many others. Even the embers eventually move on into another state, perhaps within a “protouniverse” or being the origin of such.

Morning of November 24, 2013. Sunday.



My wife and I are on a large, old brick bridge with arches, seemingly running north and south and likely in Wisconsin. It is very cold and in the middle of winter (although in real life here, it is unbearably warm). I make it so that the large winter jacket I am wearing goes around her so that she is able to put her right arm through the right sleeve while my right hand holds her left hand (my left arm still being in the left sleeve). We are then “wearing the same jacket” and also embrace so that we are fully inside the jacket after zipping it up effortlessly. After a short time, we slowly float down from the bridge onto the iced-over surface of a lake or river. There is a feeling of great love and joy. There seems to be a vague plan to eventually see my best friend Toby T as we go north into the city and we sort of half-walk, half-float to get there.