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    Lucid Dreams

    1. Flintstones Underwater

      by , 03-23-2014 at 09:23 AM
      Night of March 23, 2014. Sunday.

      This was a recurring nightly dream from several days from this date; quite vivid, and which gave me a rather unusual sense of “childlike security” and comfort for some reason. It involved the cartoon series “The Flintstones” but it was mostly just an alteration of the opening scenes (the scenes involving Fred’s car only); quite redundant, but with subtle continuous variations - by them being underwater (seemingly at or near the bottom of the ocean) and having a sort of “bubbly” audio. Sometimes the car seems to float upwards a bit, and the “yabadabadoo” sounds rather amusing underwater and bubbles flow out from Fred’s mouth. (The real-life theme song also sounds muffled, but clear enough to understand the words.) Of course, it does not make any sense in any way, but seems almost emotionally fulfilling in some ways, regardless of how ludicrous the implications are. It also seems three-dimensional rather than flat as if I am a present but passive part of the “real” environment.

      This is a form of water induction and water mainly symbolizes sleep in a dream (and sleep dynamics based on the nature of the water). There is the added association that one beginning of “The Flintstones” showed them going to a movie theater and waiting for the movie to begin, which validates the nature of this sustained induction (as watching a movie can be analogous to passively watching one’s dream as I am here).

    2. Three keys and the "unfair advantage"

      by , 03-22-2014 at 09:22 AM
      Morning of March 22, 2014. Saturday.

      My wife and I are in an unfamiliar room (seemingly on the second floor) of bluish pastel-painted plaster walls, which seems like some sort of composite between a post office and a large hospital waiting room but also has the slight feeling of a laundromat. The room’s layout is like two squares attached (at the corners) but open about forty percent inward from the corners. Several vending machines are in the room, but there are not any other outstanding features. A beige picnic table is in one corner on the opposite side of the wall where a row of three vending machines stand near where I am. To my left is the only entrance. At least one other vending machine is near the picnic table. (It actually seems similar to a hospital area from real life when my wife had our last child, but not a waiting room, rather a more empty area near the entrance to a larger patients room.) There is some sort of contest announced on the radio whereby a person can win a very large amount of money along with many other prizes and prestige by finding one of three special keys randomly placed in packs of trading cards. (This actually seems more like a “back story” to my dream than an in-dream event, as there is no radio and I do not remember directly hearing about it.) My wife leaves, apparently to go and get something or to check on the children. I am still not quite sure where we are.

      I notice an open pack (the wrapper is still on, but the top part mostly torn across) of trading cards near my feet just as I go to purchase a pack from the vending machine. I pick it up and take the cards out (they are similar to the cards Woolworths is presently giving out for each $20.00 spent but slightly bigger - otherwise the wrapping seems very similar). As I lightly thumb the cards, I am happy to see a beautiful shimmering silver key under the third card. I put the cards and key in my pocket. I am puzzled as to why someone would leave it there, or perhaps they had carelessly dropped it before leaving and have not been back yet. At any rate, I still decide to buy my own pack, although the three special keys are said to have been distributed quite a distance from each other implying across the country (We may be in the USA in this dream; unsure). Amazingly, I find a similar beautiful silver key under the third card in my pack. It is mostly the same except for a different milling pattern.

      I go and sit down at the picnic table to wait for my wife to come back. I then look to my right and notice another set of cards on the floor near the nearest vending machine. This one, unlike the first abandoned pack, does not have the wrapper on it. I look through them, and again, there is a beautiful silver key under the third card. This one is slightly smaller than the other two and has an elaborate symbol on the head/bow of the key, almost tattoo-like, the Egyptian symbol of a seated woman with a rainbow-like and balance-scale-like arch over her. I decide to keep that one as well and hold the three keys together focusing on their amazing value or potential value.

      An (unknown) man comes in, informally dressed, and seems surprised to see me there. At first, it seems he is a maintenance person or a janitor. There is also the idea, though, that he has something to do with the prizes and acknowledgements of the winners. For some reason, I tell him about the cards and the keys, noting how each key was under the third card in each case. I feel a bit wary in the back of my mind and think I perhaps should not be revealing this. However, even upon seeing the keys, he does not believe what happened at all. He seems very puzzled and almost angry. Even if it “did” happen (and he still does not believe it did) the keys would have to be returned to the unopened packs (which makes no sense) or to the people who had lost them. Even the one I actually got legitimately from purchasing from the machine apparently “did not happen”. His state of mind and ideas remind me a lot of ordinary people from real life in a way that borders on hilarity in how people do not believe much of anything that actually happens and instead, try to go “by the book” so to speak (or by something they read somewhere - as if that means anything in light of their real experiences or perception) to pretend to have some level of understanding or even authority on a subject. He leaves to contact the prize authorities to see where each key “really” is and the status of any winners, if any. I am amused almost to the point of bliss at his idiotic doubting behavior (even upon seeing the special keys) yet also am very glad I still have the three special keys and am thinking about getting my wife and family and leaving before he gets back (assuming he even finds his way back).

      I then inexplicably find myself in a completely unfamiliar area near a large fancy building which is almost castle-like (but seems more like a public venue in perhaps Beverly Hills). I use the smaller key to get in, but there are also a number of security gates which the keys may also fit, but I do not feel like opening all those doors. There are halls that go off in different directions. Instead, I transform into a snake and am able to slide through the bars of the security doors, albeit feeling quite strange. I have no perception of arms and legs and my “stomach” feels very odd and stretched out over a longer area. I turn back into myself when reaching a wooden door (of vertical slats) whereby the top is rounded rather than straight across. I am then wearing a loose white robe that has a very long red belt tied around my waist and hanging down from both ends. I open the wooden door into an amazing room and my awareness becomes even more vivid and clear. However, there is the astounding feeling that I am outside of my own consciousness somehow. (I should point out that some generic dream scripting I had been doing included the scene of opening a door “into a revelation”.)

      The actor, Alexander Siddig, is standing there on the other side of the room in an elaborate prince-like costume. He looks at me in a very puzzled manner. There are a number of other people in the room who are all looking at me in a puzzled or offended manner. They all seem to be extremely wealthy and most are dressed in almost early 1700s style. There is a stage set up on that side of the room, and a few almost bleacher-like or pew-like seats on the right side. A few people are seated seemingly as an audience on each side. At least five others seem to be a part of the play and engaging in some sort of conversation.

      “The barriers and security doors are there for a reason,” he stammers almost embarrassingly. “You can’t just…you can’t just barge in on someone else’s dream…how did you get in here…who gave you permission…this is a private gathering and you need to leave now…so just…go…please…” He then starts talking to the others on matters of my intelligence and inability to understand privacy and such, although someone also comments on my “unfair advantage” and how I have disrupted the circadian rhythms of several dreamers in conference. I “know” that he is “real” but I am not sure about the others. I am thinking on whether they are tulpas, higher entities originally developed from tulpas, real higher entities birthed from the higher planes, scripted forms, composite unique archetypes, or probably (seemingly the most likely) other dreamers. I get the impression this was an artful setup to some sort of elaborate romantic adventure. I leave, not wanting to feel like a thoughtless intruder.

      As I turn to leave, something strange happens. A larger, much plainer room somehow seems to materialize between the room I “am in” (but which has shifted elsewhere, inter-dimensionally) and the door so that I am now in a different room even though I am still holding the same doorknob to the same supposed area. (I have dreamt of internally morphing houses before, but this creates a very strange awareness).

      An older unknown lady of nearly eighty approaches me and starts talking in a very friendly and helpful manner about dreams. She makes personal comments on Alexander and his habits and desires and such. She seems to have the “job” that is some sort of combination of being a maid and guiding other dreamers when they stumble into other dreamer’s dreams without the proper protocol. As I decide to leave, my long red belt, which seems more and more like a long red silk ribbon, gets tangled on the doorknob and in part of the security gate. I tell her to cut it off on her side, but she seems worried about damaging the supposedly valuable belt. To me, it is way too long as it is and I do not mind. She uses a pair of shiny gold scissors to cut through the wrapped-up material (about four layers wrapped around the doorknob) and also is able to cut and pull (with my help) from where it has also (on the other end of the tied belt) wrapped partly around a bar of the security gate - and eventually my belt is much shorter and I can then keep going. I just want to go onto a different dream, hopefully one without snobby celebrities and snobby elite. There might be a play on “key card” somewhere in there.

      Updated 10-01-2015 at 05:27 PM by 1390

    3. My Wife Zsuzsanna is Washing a Cow in Our Backyard

      by , 03-20-2014 at 09:20 AM
      Night of March 20, 2014. Thursday.

      It is either late at night or a couple hours before dawn. A gentle soothing rain is falling (which seems to be a form of healing or the presence of rejuvenating energies). My family and I as we are now are in the backyard at our present home on W Street. My wife Zsuzsanna has a beautiful radiant presence in the semidarkness. Our children mostly remain on the back stairs.

      The water is very high yet not considered as a flood. Zsuzsanna is near the back porch and washing a thin layer of mud from a cow. She is chest high in the water and seems very happy. The cow’s head and part of the back is all that is above the water. My dream is vivid and accurate with regard to the setting, orientation, and physical awareness, other than the fact that the ground level would have to be lower to imply the depth of the water as relative to the porch and steps. My dream has a very cheerful and peaceful mood, with a sense of bliss.

      I am becoming partly lucid. My dream remains vivid and positive and seems to last about fifteen minutes. I do not question why we have a cow in our small backyard in an urban area.

      This dream is primarily a form of sustained induction or re-induction and I perceive Zsuzsanna as the inducer here. Water symbolizes sleep (in real time). There is no apparent waking symbolism initiated here (although a cow could be considered as an early morning waking prompt factor as a cow is milked early in the morning).

      This dream seems loosely based (at least partly) on a negative real-life event of Zsuzsanna’s. Zsuzsanna, as a child, had a cow with the same name as a grandmother of mine (mother’s side), but it had drowned. This may also relate to an alteration of Zsuzsanna’s maiden name into “Hathor”. I think this dream may be injecting new associations and positive energies into an older sorrowful memory of Zsuzsanna’s yet somehow for my benefit or just reminding me of the lifelong Hathor connection with my “mystery girl” (and may also relate to Jennie Haniver in a subtle way relating to being in the water).

      Updated 05-10-2017 at 08:21 AM by 1390

      lucid , dream fragment
    4. Princess Dunn Duty?

      by , 03-20-2014 at 09:20 AM
      Night of March 20, 2014. Thursday.

      As I have said in previous entries, I never include scripted dreams unless my script is only a generic affirmation (such as “I am the continuity of maximum well-being” or “I am of the light of Universal Love”, and so on), as it would not be fair to people who do not have that option or access to how it is done or are even aware that it can be done (and people who would never believe such a thing, especially including those who deny lucid dreams exist). However, I have decided to post some aspects of some scripted dreams from time to time, only regarding the fully “open” branches (meaning the details that are not precisely scripted).

      I create about six or more different scenarios and foundational elements (as a child I sometimes went on and on making a session that was way too long for normal sleep), sometimes using more precise wording, but there is a point at which more precise wording does not work exactly as it should (though it depends which “direction” the consciousness is flowing). I suspect this is due to certain parts of the higher mind during half-sleep to deep sleep to be separated from certain language centers and the fact that many words in the English language have several (even opposite) meanings. Because of how the mind pulses especially during sleep paralysis when it becomes more noticeable, some words are even naturally omitted in sequence; that, and the fact that if the residual pattern is no longer fully going on its own momentum so to speak, there will be hilarious changes (as with the recent white gorilla dream).

      In this case, I have a setup with the potential for purposeful shared dreaming on a regular basis. However, as I have said before, even scripted shared dreaming has “filters” by which each person is set into their own perspective of the scenario - for example, the deliberately shared dream from years ago where a (unscripted aspect) hollow silver ball radiating healing energies doing figure eights above me was actually a toy airplane flying in a figure eight in my wife’s dream - this one being remarkable as there was no mention of sound and no real sound as such at the time - yet we both heard the exact same loud humming frequency in our deeper dream state at the same time. It sometimes happens unintentionally (and as I have learned, another person does not even need to know what the script even is if they sleep next to that person who does). Also consider that two people watching the same movie in real life will “experience” and interpret it in different ways. That does not mean they are not watching the same movie - because they obviously are.

      I used one of my favorite foundations regarding the Enchanted Forest (the more “swampy” section) and the tree-house scenario (which is always different since I leave a lot “open”). In this particular case, the beauty was astounding. Two of the more effective words to use are “beautiful” and “happiness”. These words are remarkable in the power to alter the flow of semiconscious thought, though there are many more that are basic but also powerful. Because I had the special audio pulsing to my right and also had the humidifier going (in rotating mode), it created a “perfect” rhythmic flow of sound and moving air (white noise and patterned sensations on the body). As I have said often before, “healthy” is usually the word to use, not “healing”. With “healing”, the mind forms the unresolved idea of perpetual healing, and in the lucid dream state, makes holes and cysts in your body to be filled or healed in the dream or come up with fictional (in-dream only) scenarios by which you are later partially “healed”. Words take on a life of their own, so the correct ones are important. When using “I am healing” - the phrase triggers the circumstance that the healing is never complete and you might even absentmindedly get into situations where you need additional healing.

      During the first part of the night, before I burned the CD and set up our system, I was talking to Zsuzsanna about the idea of “forcing” myself to believe I had taken a dream enhancement drug of whatever kind. “Convincing” my mind that I had taken a particular drug and actually taking a particular drug makes no difference (which is why I have never taken any in the first place in my lifetime). She said I might also have some of the inherent side effects claimed by some people (even if I did not know what they were or were supposed to be, due to the nature of how the supraconscious works) and, even though the body can supposedly produce any kind of chemical on its own, there may be unknown potential negatives in this idea. Not only that, it is pointless anyway, as I can dream without drugs. In the long run, I do not think it is a good idea to tamper with perceptions of molecules and compounds at the liminal level.

      The marshy forest is beautiful and vivid. The detail of the “tree-house” is amazing. Curiously, though, it looks just like a large old Swiss farmhouse built high in the large branches and with a flower-box midway up on at least one side. I am in this part of my dream for what seems like a very long time, sort of hovering and moving about fairly close to the environment and feeling very blissful, almost ecstatic. I am later on a larger branch or a platform on one of the large branches. During this same time my wife said she had been dreaming of a light coming from under a door.

      A younger Caucasian girl comes out, with longer brown hair, and wearing a shimmering orange dress (pure orange, yet also somewhat lamé-like in properties of the material) and a fresh wreath of flowers on her head - she is radiating an almost overwhelming sense of happiness and openness (this always occurs in this type of scene, though) and with a sort of glow about her (the “sped-up” cilia-like energy form I described once in my older online journal from 2008, I think). There is that very precise and vivid feeling of when a person walks up to you and you are aware of the slight change in the scent of the air and a subtle feeling of movement. Anyhow, none of the additional details regarding the setup were scripted. The age, race, style of dress, culture, century of living, etc. - none of those were in the scripting - which was short and very open - just a goddess-like form that could have been any passing-by random entity so long as there were positive intentions and openness only. As I bask in my dream’s full point of lucidity and light, I am aware of a vague second-layer of commentary coming in, almost like a fuzzy radio broadcast. Her name is “Princess Dunn”. Around this time, I hear that it is fully “Princess Dunn Duty”. (It actually seems more like a layered dream at this point - that is, two dreams simultaneously - the overwhelmingly lucid one and a normal one at the same time.) However, I “gasp” myself out of the scene due to not being able to handle the particular state of bliss and move more back into images of trees and forests and my body slowly “recovers” from the “rapidly and continuously melting” effect. Still, it was a good “coloring” of my mind which will last for some time (at least a day or so). I still feel a sense of bliss several hours later.

      Of course, a variation could be “Dudie”, “Doodie”, “Dutie”, and so on, as well as “Dunn” being like “Done”…“Done Duty”.

      But anyway…wait…

      “Princess Dunn Duty?”

      I think it is time to start scripting names…

      Updated 12-09-2015 at 05:33 PM by 1390

      Tags: princess
    5. Infinite Kittens in Our Backyard

      by , 03-19-2014 at 09:19 AM
      Morning of March 19, 2014. Wednesday.

      There are kittens everywhere - and I do mean everywhere. They are en masse. The “ground” just outside our bathroom window at our present address is all kittens, seemingly in at least three layers. They are mostly all calico kittens of similar colors. During this time, I am also aware of small tunnels into the Earth that have larger stones around the openings and which go down into the Earth at about a twelve to fifteen degree angle.

      Are all these kittens coming out of the Earth and covering the planet? It seems like it, but the tunnels and kittens are separate. The area of ground on the west end of our yard, to the back of the house, is entirely covered, but they are only on ground and grass for the most part. They cannot seem to move very much or very far from where they are wiggling and rolling. An unusual sight, sort of pretty or at least intriguing in a way, but still strange. They do not seem to be harmed in any way or showing signs of stress or injury.

      I have had similar dreams in the past, including one where I was hovering over the inside of a large chicken farm and seeing infinite white chickens and another dream with endless turkeys. This seems to be some sort of coalescence metaphor or possibly the reverse, that is, conscious energies being divided while in the dream state.
    6. Contacts

      by , 03-17-2014 at 07:35 PM
      Night of March 17, 2014. Monday.

      Having made six more deliberate (precision-wise) “portal” potentials with a third-person phrasing (other than the usual first or sometimes second-person aspects) with my special audio, I reached a state (which is still residual) that is comparable to an intensely blissful “flesh continuously melting off my body” effect - again, a sort of “misty” feeling, that is; my body being made of a light mist and with an enhanced conscious focus. I have always wondered why this was the case - that is, why my special audio is seemingly more powerful (and in-state controllable) than any type of drug - at least with regard to imagery and physical comfort as well as less randomness during the same time period. Certainly the mind can be set in this way with healthy methods such as this (without external chemicals of any kind) - which changes the perception of the body and instigates automatic deeper breathing and an overwhelming urge to continuously stretch every muscle which I eventually learned years ago was very important to maintain health and balance energy. Sleep paralysis is quite blissful as well (though many people write about it in a way that is completely different than how I have normally experienced it and even associate it with nightmares).

      I first shift through various environments, mostly forest-like. However, there is one area that is somewhat like a large fountain of some sort, of moss-covered rock, with steps of the same general appearance going up to one edge. I am not fully sure of the purpose. It is almost more like a very small swimming area that goes around to make the doubled outline of a large square. I thought it might be something more relevant to the outside of a building for decorative purposes (similar to a flower-box), but I see no buildings or shelters of any kind or perhaps the building had fallen with the external bordering pool or fountain still left standing. The water itself is very clear and pure and I believe someone may be swimming there but not sure who. The area is going through some sort of growing speed of transition as I feel a sense of bliss in the changes and momentum, even in the very air around me.

      Later, a girl (unknown) is seated in a meditation position on the ground in a clearing, cross-legged and radiating some sort of magnetic-like pattern, which seems to have an effect on the direction the wind is blowing and how the plants are growing. She lifts her hands up on my approach and a bright cloud-like form moves about her hands, superimposed on the palms somewhat and “wiggling” a bit in the air, rapidly. This is some sort of healing energy, which intensifies my lucidity for a time. I do not speak to any of the characters or to the environment itself as I sometimes do.

      Another female (unknown) is on her stomach on a large branch of an ancient tree (possibly cypress, but not certain - it is not really that swampy or marshy) more than six feet up, it seems. Either her “hair” is long, large black and white feathers that are swept back, or it is some sort of headdress. Silvery eyes watch me. There is a slight but genuine smile, but more like a subtle patronizing regarding the tolerance of my presence. I sense smaller animals scurrying about in the underbrush, perhaps woodland voles. There is a strong scent of damp Earth. I almost get the impression of being seen as a “pet” by the universe or entities around, but that is probably oversimplification.
    7. Leaving the lands of lucidity - and a “devil” battle

      by , 02-23-2014 at 02:14 PM
      Morning of February 23, 2014. Sunday.

      This was a very long and vivid dream which became “too lucid” at one point. I will mostly summarize the main scenes.

      One primary part in the first section unfolding was based on some sort of knowledge about the moon changing position in a rapid, shifted path. I am outside with a relative, I believe my brother-in-law. Eventually, the event begins to unfold, but there does not seem to be a potential of Earth being severely altered or destroyed as was the original concept. The full moon is moving from right to left, horizontally, the path about sixty degrees inclination from our view, and leaving equally bright afterimages of its previous positions, an eventual total of about six closely clustered afterimages of the same general appearance as the moon. This does not continue in theme in any way.

      Later, I am in a room watching at least three people (one of them - the clearest - is Colm Meaney, another Hilary Swank, the other Alexander Siddig) hanging various pictures on the wall which are old-fashioned in some ways and modern in others (of an average of about six by eight inches). They are probably about eighty percent Art Deco. They seem a bit too close together on the wall to be an eye-pleasing arrangement as a group - a total of at least seven framed pictures, the frames nearly touching in a couple cases, and two rows in horizontal lines, the right bottom area “empty” if the array is considered as four by two. A couple of times, I create an additional framed picture of my own, hovering in the air before me, and without touching it at all, I quickly float it to the wall (with some sort of “magical” motions of my hands) to hang it near the others, in the lower right corner each time. There is a vague notion that I will alarm the others with my “magic”, but it passes without any major concern or even notable surprise. Minor criticism follows from the others in regard to my input as well as their own setup (such as Colm saying “Well, I think…” and Hilary saying “But I don’t think…” and Alexander saying “Well, I don’t really think…”), going on about the images and their location and orientation to each other (in an artistic sense), and so on, but there is no drama or eventful interaction or communication.

      There are a lot of scenes without incident that relate to the “enchanted forest” from the old Harvey comic books. I would say that the dream’s orientation is mostly to the east as is often the case. The “devil” becomes a character, though “he” is only a more creative version of “Grandpa Blaze” from the Hot Stuff comic books and not an overall threat. (He is referred to as “Uncle Blaze” by a couple characters.) However, there is some sort of conflict involving him and mostly human-sized fairies, anthropomorphic animals, and some other minor characters.

      I am eventually with some other “magical” characters and seated, facing east. It is like a larger version of the curb at North Monroe, yet with features of the shed (in its complete form) at Cubitis farther back to the west. Soon, some sort of large butterfly, but with wings “full of holes/"with cut-out areas” moves about near us. After a time, it is more like a sheet of paper that has been cut into a complex pattern similar to those I did many years ago - not the paper snowflake ones, but where the fold was different and the result being mostly rectangular with one part being totem-pole-like in silhouette. The pattern is somewhat like that of a doily at times but with more squarish symmetry than center-focused (or by radial symmetry). I catch and hold onto it as others watch. Soon, however, it transforms into a “sheet” of fire. I let it go just as the fire expands with a sort of explosive continuity and it flutters a bit and eventually transforms into Grandpa Blaze (the thinner version). He is soon apparently defeated (or ousted) by forest animals.

      Later on, I am in an elevated area somewhat like an isolated larger portico (with Greek features) looking down over valleys and villages, though some buildings are higher up near cliffs and mountain ridge areas. I become extremely lucid and almost overly focused but am eventually concerned about my being “locked” within the dream location even though the area is beautiful, even heavenly. I start focusing on my breathing a bit too much, which actually makes the dream more and more vivid and “solid”. I keep saying, “wow, look at that” regarding the scenery. My voice becomes so loud and clear, I begin to have concern that I am actually shouting in real life and probably being annoying in that case. Instead of, say, jumping from the cliff and flying around or interacting with other characters, I am annoyed for some reason and concerned about my real sleeping body’s physical orientation (a fairly common event). The clarity is a bit too extreme to be just a dream, it seems, and is not a representation of anything I had projected into in any session to my memory (I am amazed by the level of detail in fictional not-seen-before scenery that the mind so commonly produces - the type that shows no sign of otherwise being a composite).

      Eventually, I start throwing myself around like an idiot to shake myself out of the dream as I sense it is getting later (late morning on Sunday) and I already had an extremely long erotic adventure earlier in the night in a previous dream. It takes several attempts to “deny” the “reality” of the scenery. I do not normally deliberately do this (especially in a non-threatening dream), but, due to a combination of having the first cold in several years (with a slightly swollen throat which altered my breathing in the dream) and it being later in the morning (along with a false concern of needing to go to the store which closes early - but my wife had already gone), I guess that was partially why.

      Updated 06-20-2015 at 06:45 PM by 1390

    8. White Noise Staircase

      by , 02-21-2014 at 08:21 AM
      Night of February 21, 2014. Friday.

      Dream #: 17,231-05. Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 45.

      I become aware that I am dreaming. I first perceive myself to be in a featureless room in semidarkness. Soon, there is the perception of my thoughts and awareness expanding. As a result, a staircase forms with the simultaneous presence of white noise.

      As it appears, it creates the impression of hissing “snowflakes” (white points of light) suddenly coming together to form a white staircase in front of me with the appearance of a photographic negative. Rather than ascending it to investigate, I decide to walk out through a door to my right to wake, but I wake to feel blessed and loved.

      My dream had subliminal influence from a scene from “The Other,” a 1972 horror film, in which Niles is placing cattails everywhere in the barn, including the staircase. (Additionally, carrying and moving the cattails results in a rustling sound similar to white noise.) Even so, it correlates with the autosymbolic construct of the dreaming and waking processes.

      A staircase, which is a factor of vestibular system correlation, becomes a feature in a dream when I either anticipate or subliminally, liminally, or concurrently will a difference in the level of dream state focus of awareness and anticipate changes in perception of my illusory physicality. It is used in meditation and hypnosis to go into and out of different levels of consciousness. Descending the staircase typically correlates with entering the state while ascending correlates with the waking process.

      Precursory contemplation of a vestibular system simulacrum (a projection of the subliminal, liminal, or concurrent anticipation of the waking process) occurs here but does not complete. In the movie, the character Ada (falsely perceived as an angel in the scene in the first moments) attempts to kill Niles by burning the barn down, but he escapes through a door as she jumps into the fire.

      It is intriguing how the subliminal recall of a horror movie can result in a dream of a very different nature with a satisfying outcome.

      Updated 12-14-2018 at 07:42 AM by 1390

    9. Tulpa Triumphant

      by , 02-11-2014 at 09:07 AM
      Morning of February 11, 2014. Tuesday.

      I believe February 11th is somewhat of a significant date (for me to some extent) because of the 2 - 11 pattern (as part of the huge 2, 6, 9, 11, 22, 69, 96, etc. links).

      This is a fairly short semi-lucid dream that is more like an in-dream “vision”. I am watching, over time, a giant diamond rotating in no particular location. Each facet of the diamond is like a mirror, each “reflecting” (from an unknown location) a different female face.

      There are very strong feelings of love and well-being as the “mirrors” of this giant diamond “slowly explode” outward as a somewhat random pattern. At the center of all this is my wife. She is smiling at me. I strongly feel that she is the “only true female that exists in this world” (or “universe”/“dimension” wherever) and is the origin of all others since earliest memory (even imaginary aspects of female characters in past dreams as well as all other females throughout history). This makes perfect sense to me since she was (in my opinion) the first female I “sensed” at a deeper level on her day of birth from across the wide ocean (while near the Port Charlotte region).

      I suppose there is also a very vague connection to the very similar imagery (of the rotating diamond-like facets) of the “Superman” movie (1978) concerning “The Phantom Zone”, which is a negative implication - but not really relevant to my dream. Realistically, though, I do now see the Superman logo as “diamond-shaped” even though it is not geometrically diamond-shaped - it is actually very much like the diamond on a wedding ring in symbolism. Also, my wife’s anglicized first name begins with “S” and “S” is a Yin Yang representation (especially when paired with two smaller offset “c"s, though).

      This dream had a lot of "perfect” energy and beauty.
      Tags: diamond
      lucid , memorable
    10. "Blip" and "reboot" and old memory surfaced

      by , 02-06-2014 at 12:35 PM
      Early evening of February 6th, 2014. Thursday.

      This particular dream came about from more time in one “pulsing” session than usual, yet with shorter phrasing. Normally, I do feel as if my body is light and “misty” and any prior pain or discomfort vanishes completely (and stays gone for some time). I did not include any imagery programming of any kind (or any intended type of memory of visual activation), just general powerful phrases that have worked throughout my lifetime (although I do try new variations quite often - in this case I also used “Infinite Mind” in the phrasing as well as the usual “maximum well-being”). I was at the computer with headphones projecting my audio tracks at a very low volume, yet after about two hours of not paying much attention (consciously) to the sounds, I heard a very clear and distinctive “blip” in my right ear of the kind I have heard all my life when slipping into certain states of consciousness (usually when near some level of approaching hypnagogia). This is always the exact same sound and awareness shift, almost like hearing a drop of rain splashing on the top of a thin metal lid of a small jar. The sound has never varied in any way in my lifetime even slightly, which makes me know it is some sort of physical function relating to changes in consciousness and hypnagogia. It does not seem to relate at all to sleep paralysis - which always has a quite different higher-pitched oscillation, which also has always been exactly the same throughout my life in that state.

      I almost lost consciousness without wanting to (my fault for letting the phrasing continue so long without focusing on an intended meditation session but I do this knowing that I do not have to actively listen for it to “work”) - and very suddenly - although I was not aware of any stable portal at the time regardless of the first “blip”. Being at this level with this particular type of special affirmation sequencing puts me in an extremely deep state even when not even listening at all - from a perceived “misty” or cloud-like physical form (by which I can still function well enough) to rock-heavy sensations (not commercial products - I only ever use my own work and knowledge of such - most commercial “tools” are not only “incorrect” - sometimes seemingly on purpose, likely to continue to make money from gullible people - but counterproductive or even dangerous or foolish by what they imply). As it was, I became too sleepy and physically “stunned” (not tired - there is a clear difference) to continue any work at the time, so I turned off the audio and rested a bit in bed. After a time, I fell into a very odd “stop” state as if I briefly died and had to “reignite myself” but not with the usual rekindled force of will - I did yell in real life at the time. After this happened, I felt very young and energized to the point where a very vague physical discomfort I had was no longer there anywhere at all - which lasted about a full twenty-four hours (often, though, such sessions do not show results until twenty-four hours later - it depends on the phrasing and how gerunds are used, it seems). Again, the “body as mist” awareness. I am honestly not sure how “material-based” or substantial this is - I am not sure of the full physical repercussions; that is, if my DNA is somehow altered - as it does seem so - I did gain full use of my left hand as a child when all the “experts” said it would not be possible due to separated nerves and tendons and the screw-up the doctor did. I did make a bad toothache vanish in a short time years ago - by which a sound like a large rock or boulder “speaking” hit me (and it seemed slightly annoyed - or maybe I perceived it incorrectly as I did not grasp what it said - but it was layered and very “loud” and in an extremely low pitch and frequency) and the toothache vanished and never came back. Similar things have happened including with the back pain I had sometime back where I could barely move without a lot of pain - but now I seem physically normal again.

      During this time, I dreamed vividly of the backyard in Cubitis. I recalled something I had almost forgotten over the years - which is quite clear and vivid as I “float” around the imagery. It was the concrete birdbath my father had made my mother in the center of the yard. It was fairly large with a square top and a little “island” in the center. He wrote (engraved by moving the wet concrete) the year (and some other details including, I believe, my mother’s first name) on the top (I believe it was 1975). Also, I recall the tall round green bird-feeder we had (on a green pole). This is quite strange in how I had not held these two features in my mind for some time. I felt a sense of love and timelessness. The birdbath almost seemed like a “missing piece” of some kind and was also very clear in residual hypnopompic levels.

      Updated 06-20-2015 at 07:46 PM by 1390

    11. A Vineyard (with Zsuzsanna)

      by , 02-05-2014 at 08:05 AM
      Morning of February 5, 2014. Wednesday.

      I am walking through a large vineyard with my beautiful wife Zsuzsanna in possibly mid-afternoon. I am uncertain of the location or region. A sense of love dominates the mood.

      Updated 11-26-2017 at 08:27 AM by 1390

      lucid , memorable
    12. The Final Gate from the Last Cave

      by , 01-31-2014 at 07:31 AM
      Morning of January 31, 2014. Friday.

      Dream #: 17,210-01. Reading time: 1 min 20 sec.

      I am in the “last cave,” the last form of existence bordering the world. I approach the wall to perhaps move on to “higher” awareness. There is a purple glow from the cave wall, a circle around the letter “M,” and two back to back instances of the letter “L” (representing our last names), which is also an upside-down “T.” It burns for a time, a “cool” fire. It also seems like an elevator button at the same time it is a lock (that I have a key for). (“M” can also represent an upside-down “W,” depending on the font or style.)

      “M” is Virgo, the 6th (Yin) sign and 13th letter, Zsuzsanna born on the 13th and a Virgo. The upside-down “T” is Sagittarius (me), the 9th (Yang) sign and my birth on the 20th (T being the 20th letter). It is within the circle often reserved for the S and C (our first names when anglicized) or 6 and 9 of Yin Yang. No faux system (such as astrology) means anything, yet can form patterns to discern personal recognition.

      “M” also came from the symbol for “water.”

      “T” is the second (2 again) most common letter in English (after “E”). It is also the last letter of the Western Semitic and Hebrew alphabets..

      T over M - “cross over the water,” a play on going to Australia to marry my twin flame Zsuzsanna

      It represents TWO, approaching entropy of the English language (a coincidental letter pattern that spells “two”). The “W” (or “M”) splits into two instances of the letter “V,” the Gate itself, the Master number 22, and the bottom half of the Heart (in continuous cycles, also face to face twos). Even my last name means “the two.”

      It is layer upon layer, and all the strength of every member of the human race cannot move or change it.

      I am unsure where I will go. It is a phasing point that allows access to higher dimensions of any range.

      Updated 07-21-2019 at 04:57 AM by 1390

      lucid , memorable , dream fragment
    13. In Defense of the “Siren”

      by , 01-10-2014 at 07:10 AM
      Morning of January 10, 2014. Friday.

      We are living in some sort of composite of mostly Barolin Street (same directional orientation) and the place in Maryborough on Cheapside Street, but with other differences at times (including the entrance to Stadcor Street with the outside stairs). At first, there seems to be some sort of drama with a rowdy neighbor from the halfway house visiting someone in a separate (fictional) apartment in back of where we live (which looks more like the Barolin Street area at that point). This second male, the friend of the one in back of our place who seems to be in the shower, is yelling about the score of an ongoing soccer game while standing outside in our driveway. The other male makes gasping and apparent drowning sounds (as the shower is also unlikely louder from where I am), but nothing related to that matter continues.

      There is a scene where I am trying to record on a cassette tape and the player keeps “eating” it (recurring). I try to fix things up, but the tape keeps going out in different directions in figure-eight patterns. Parts are very realistic with regard to the capstan and such. I get a vague impression that one of the cassettes is my sister’s.

      Later, I am in the bedroom with my wife Zsuzsanna. She is lying on our bed (which is south to north unlike the real-life west to east orientation) but I am standing near the north doorway to the hallway that was there in real life (there is also an additional fictional door to the east, which seemingly opens out directly to a downward flight of stairs and gives a feeling of being on the second floor of a building - the house was one floor but high-set in real life but did not have higher stairs in this manner), but something unusual is going on. Another male is in the room complaining about Zsuzsanna’s “supernatural” beauty because it was apparently the cause of his accident. He narrates his story (I am not sure if he is a ghost, or somehow got lost on his way somewhere else). “I was driving down the road at night and this female steps out from the wayside and I lost control of my stick shift…”

      “Yes, my wife has had that effect on males,” I say sarcastically. For a moment, he almost seems like an (deceased?) “alternate husband” of my wife’s (although she never had any other long-term relationships or marriages) and seems somewhat disparaging, but not violent in any way. For awhile, he stands around not moving, almost like a statue. Other men appear eventually - a total of about five or six.

      Next up comes Burl Ives (in a white suit, and with a cane and top hat) in an objurgatory stance and mood. He starts talking about how Zsuzsanna called up the giant turtle and crashed his helicopter into the “blue lagoon”. He continues, “If I live to be a hundred, I’ll never forget that big snow storm a couple of years ago.” (This is actually a recurring idea from other dreams where a type of siren or ghost was causing a blizzard, but is actually his line from “Rudolph”.) “No, no, no, that’s Sam the Snowman, not Doctor Paulis,” I say, but more to the wall, “You’ve got your roles mixed up and…you have snowballs!”

      “Oh fer…you’ve got a screw loose Magnus!”, he shouts and turns to waddle down the stairs. I want to be with Zsuzsanna in private, but these idiot males standing around are starting to try my patience. The truck driver is still standing in the same spot, staring at the painting of a pirate ship on the west wall which now seems to have a bit of water coming out from the bottom of the frame and running in about four streams of differing lengths down the areas between the vertical wall boards.

      Another younger male (closest to the corner of the room) narrates…“I was near shore and this young gypsy girl of unearthly beauty steps out from a caravan, and raises her arms. I thought for a moment she held a lantern to guide my way, but then…my ship was lost on the rocks…” (I briefly reflect on how my wife’s mother directly drank seawater in real life and actually bragged about how healthy it was during the time she was also a vegan, yet her last son was born autistic though has somehow fully recovered in later years.)

      “You’ve certainly got your prerogatives in order,” I say sarcastically. “Yes, one girl standing in the night, you are distracted, or maybe it was a Playboy magazine - those oil tankers out there having oil spills that wipe out half the planet…watch out for that bit of venison on your plate…it may be the end of the world as you know it…”

      The song “Play Crack The Sky” is sung by a transparent temporary character before my dream moves back towards my own direct focus again.

      The most vivid part unfolds. I squeeze my right hand lightly into a fist and this somehow causes the male to rise in the air, about three feet off the floor. He starts to choke and seawater drips from him as he hovers in the air a few feet from me. I turn to walk and somehow he floats in the air behind me and I manage to get him out of the room without touching him. The other men look on approvingly, thinking I had healed him, and line up for me to “heal” them as well. I am glad to oblige…

      Updated 05-10-2017 at 12:36 PM by 1390

      lucid , memorable
    14. Rhinoceros Healing

      by , 12-25-2013 at 04:11 PM
      Morning of December 25, 2013. Wednesday.

      My dream (or dreams, as it seems to repeat at least once, possibly twice) has at least two sections that are nearly identical or possibly “resets”. I go into a large room from the north entrance, apparently in the early afternoon, that is somewhat like the buildings at the showgrounds near here. A large rhinoceros is lying on his right side and seems slightly injured. He is on a seemingly concrete circular platform about four inches up from the floor and about six or seven feet in diameter. I pet him and move my hand over his wounds and he seems to get healthier and healthier until he is able to stand up and move about on his legs a bit. I almost sense a sort of human-like gratitude from the animal. My dream repeats at least once from here, but with a longer gap of no dreams between, it seems. There are a few other people in the background (mostly female, likely veterinarians and park attendants) that seem to be happy about my presence and my apparent special abilities to help the rhinoceros. I have a good feeling and my dream is unusually clear in imagery and orientation considering I have not seen many rhinoceroses in real life, especially up close.

      (There is ambiguity in one version of my dream; it is possible it is a pregnant female, though this is not at all certain.)

      Updated 06-15-2015 at 03:53 PM by 1390

      Tags: rhinoceros
    15. Chat Room Tulpa? Oh, C’mon Now. FAIL…

      by , 12-23-2013 at 06:23 PM
      Morning of December 23, 2013. Monday.

      I have decided to place this dream into the “I have no brain” category, along with a much older one I have already written on where I used a digital sampling keyboard to play a special affirmation - and when it worked and I went into an extremely vivid, lucid dream, I spent the entire dream trying to find the source of the real-life sound to turn it off so that I could continue with my dream… It takes a very “special” level of futility regarding such experiences. However, I do now use certain types of audio with self-spoken special affirmations (when I choose to - I still prefer trying to hold mental states without any aid or “tools” of any kind to get ever stronger in that department - tens of thousands of times more powerful than what appears to be mostly a nonsensical placebo effect with so-called i-dosing and binaural beats, which is basically fraud for the amazingly gullible) that produce extremely precise visual and physical patterns within hypnagogic states (what people fail to understand is that it is about specific word phrasing - not a particular sound, frequency, or “beat”, which is rather absurd as the brain does not work that way - if it did, most of humanity would be controlled by random birdsong and other sounds) - something which mostly no other person (relative to commercial products), that I know of, knows anything about (other than my wife and a few select friends from my past) - which can only be a good thing.

      One of my last dreams (“Agates and holograms”) had an additional layer of composite precognition (in addition to my wife actually having looked at new holograms at the mall without my knowledge), as most do at one level or another - and is so common, it often goes unnoticed or “unremarkable” and thus not written about even in summary (although I am trying to break that lifelong habit) - as precognition and highly detailed prophetic consciousness has been a continuous day to day driving force in my life since just prior to birth. In this case, the additional precognitive element of that dream involved my brother actually posting a series of photographs on Facebook, on my own timeline (as in my dream), for the first time ever, even though we have both been on Facebook for years. One of the images was me at around age five playing with a husky (supposed wolf-hybrid, apparently) - and another, a bit older, sitting at a table with a large open stamp album. When the real-life event unfolded much as in my dream, the link did not even come to mind until later - which should be a hint as to how common and “normal” precognition is for me. It is much like breathing or food digestion in my opinion.

      Anyway, on to this dream. I appear to be at a computer in some sort of chat room (which I have hardly ever been on in real life in my lifetime), but the overall look is similar to a group-type page as on Facebook and the messages from the sender (account-holder) appear as stylized windows with various fancy writing in as opposed to just straight lines of text - although the one responding (in this case, me) sees their own messages appear as mostly just lines of text. I appear to be engaged in conversation with a younger female tulpa (I do not actually see her at any point even on the screen) regarding potential healing sessions, musical ideas, gags about “normal” humans, mental development, and so on.

      In a short time, I notice that a large thinner section of skin has separated from the back of my hand; fully, evenly, and perfectly. The back of my hand has a large and perfectly circular wound that looks much like watermelon (without the seeds). However, it does not hurt much. The tulpa tells me that if I hold the skin that came off over the wound that my hand will go back to normal in a short time. This does not seem to work, though. I have a thin white square piece of cloth by which the circular section of skin sticks to the cloth and will not stay attached to where it was separated from. I am not quite sure how she knows about my problem and do not remember actually typing such a message, and what comes next is rather futile. (In real life, only after waking, not prior to sleep, I did notice how a very small circular wound on the left side on my right pinkie was causing that small area to be a bit sore).

      A seemingly second message (after the coherent one regarding what to do about the wound - which may have come about as a result of weeding) appears onscreen that is mostly made up of “baby words” - that is - the kinds of nonsensical phrases that an adult says to a baby to “entertain” them or get their attention. I make out some of the pattern, which appears in a highly stylized window with a floral theme, as something like “coo coo fizzle fitz coo coo gooey fitz oh my goo goo foo foo fitz fizzle” or very similar. I am not quite sure what to make of this. I try to type a response, but all that comes out is random letters, apparently because my hand is wounded.

      I send about half the messages I type, but give up on half because there are too many random letters interspersed with the intended words. Most sentences, I attempt to type correctly several times over. After about ten minutes of not being able to focus enough to get any words correct, I receive the message, “Are you still there? I am waiting. "I simply cannot type because of my "injured” hand, it seems.

      So, using the ever futile “dream logic”, I try to type “I cannot type because the sore on my hand prevents me from typing”. That makes no sense, does it? I end up giving up because I cannot even get the first few words to come out correctly.

      I then spend the next ten minutes or so trying to type “I cannot type”…(oh brother)…assuming the “conversation” will still continue in a coherent or productive, possibly enriching manner. There are a few other messages onscreen that relate to wondering if I am still there or needing anything. The tulpa seems extraordinarily patient (long after most people would have went on to do something else), but then, they have to be, to serve the dreamer unconditionally.

      Finally, I decide that attempting to type and send “my hand” (hoping that somehow that message will be fully understood) might be doable. I type something close to “mjyjo hkajndjp” and send it, growing weary of the events after a seeming half-hour, at least.

      As a result, the tulpa finally starts solely typing equally indiscernible gibberish and sends a small banner-like horizontally-scrolling, somewhat sketchy cartoon of the old-style Kewpie dolls having some sort of co-operative can-can dance across the screen amidst randomly falling flower and snowflake patterns.

      The failure, overall, seems more related to my distorted in-dream hand-eye coordination rather than having a hurt hand. However, it is also as if certain keys change their letter values at times as soon as I type them.

      Updated 11-26-2015 at 11:41 AM by 1390

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