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    Lucid Dreams

    1. Octopus Woman

      by , 05-23-2018 at 10:06 AM
      Afternoon of May 22, 2018. Tuesday.



      I am hovering above a scene of Ursula (from the “Little Mermaid” movie, though she appears as a “real” person instead of a cartoon). She seems to have been enslaved to work in a factory (on land and owned by humans), which looks like it involves capping bottles in a circular system of levers and a rotating mechanism she is strapped within (as she rotates horizontally as well). Even though she seems to be at the mercy of whoever runs the factory, she laughs weirdly, “Huh huh HA ha…,” and seems cheerful, and continues to work.



      This short surreal dream was influenced by seeing a “robot fail” video with a robot hand failing at its task of picking up bottles. An additional influence was from the typical water induction (though no water body occurs here) as a fictitious sea denizen as an octopus woman, which also has an association with our youngest daughter’s sticker books and coloring books as such.


      Tags: factory, octopus
      Categories
      lucid
    2. Buddha Tree and Female Beetlejuice

      by , 05-19-2018 at 06:26 PM
      Morning of January 6, 2013. Sunday.



      In a mostly featureless field, there is a dead tree with sparse branches seen in early evening, apparently just after sunset, and in semi-lucidity. In touching the tree, I ground myself without a focus on the anticipation of vestibular system ambiguity. I am fully in my fictitious dream body for the duration.

      I vaguely recall previous dreams of living trees reaching out to stroke my face with the tips of their branches, in seemingly expressing love as an essence of nature itself.

      I notice movements across the bark on the side of the tree, a shifting of kite-shaped patches of golden “skin”, which sometimes feature a singular eye. I notice that part of the tree is breathing, a part of its bark moving out and back in with the same overall size as a person’s abdomen. Eventually, I become aware of a female Buddha looking at me somewhat blankly, perhaps puzzled by my presence.

      There is a change of awareness and temporality, a “blind spot” of which I do not pay full attention, a very common factor of the dream state when full lucidity is not present. A female Beetlejuice modulates my dream from here, though she is not threatening in any way (as preconscious modulation sometimes is when the need to wake and attend to real needs is greater). For a moment, I consider how serious it seems, even with a link to the spiritual, though I eventually come to terms with how silly the scenario is. I recognize the waking transition as it is rendered as an outdoor wooden staircase (as relating to vestibular system autosymbolism), which does not seem connected to a building. I faithfully use the stairs without slipping or falling (or the staircase changing form or collapsing), noticing the steps are rendered rather well. It all comes down to the usual vestibular system correlation with the personified preconscious (and additionally in this case as the vestibular system personification as the female Beetlejuice accompanying my subconscious self at this point), an extension of RAS mediation, passively leading the way in a liminal space where the religious fantasies wrought by others, and the movie fantasies wrought by others, are ultimately equal.



      Additional notes on the cause and meaning behind this dream: Way back when I was four years old and vowed to myself to understand and master the dream state, I came to realize that seeing eyes moving in a dream, especially when isolated, is primarily based on liminal awareness of being in REM sleep (though was also influenced from “sleep watching” the “Outer Limits” episode of “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” at age 4). There have been many dreams with this detail. In the eyes being on the tree, the tree in this case, especially in being in the mostly featureless field, represents the static (unmoving) status of my physical body during sleep.


      Categories
      lucid
    3. The Skunk (one of many excellent childhood dreams)

      by , 05-10-2018 at 01:08 PM
      Morning of August 21, 1965. Saturday.



      In early morning, I am walking through an outdoor maze-like area in an undetermined location with about six other children of whom are unfamiliar. On each side of the old and broken sidewalk are various unusual plants in flower boxes of about two feet high of which are adjacent to the sidewalk. Some of the plants are as high as about three feet, but many seem to be drying out, some stems almost straw-like. Some of the plants seem like oversized sandspurs (Cenchrus), though a few have attractive flowers. The area is possibly an abandoned plant nursery or the forgotten large garden of someone who had moved. There is conversation, but I mostly had only recalled a girl saying something about “the garden bed”.

      Someone’s forgotten private garden may more likely be the case, as we eventually seem to be in the unmaintained backyard of a suburban residence.

      There seems to be the presence of an unusual odor, firstly thought to be coming from some pale flowers.

      We all walk closer to the back of the house. A girl in our small group opens the back door of this house. There appears to be something moving in the darkness in the center of the room. It is seemingly a skunk, but we can only see the white part of it very clearly. I suddenly become aware that it is startled and puzzled by our presence, and curiously, and very interestingly, the white part (body and tail) quickly form a question mark. The formation of the question mark, which seems to hover in the air (though I am still aware that a skunk is there) creates an intriguing sense of awe and surprise upon waking, as if the skunk’s surprise and puzzlement are my own; as if I am the skunk being awakened by the girl in the doorway.

      At this last point, I am seemingly also immediately (without implied to have walked here) near the center of the dark room, looking at the white vertical question mark while seeing the girl’s silhouette in the doorway. I eventually consider that it is my mother coming in to look in on me as I am sleeping (a puzzling transformation of the girl around my age suddenly becoming an adult as well as briefly perceiving myself as a skunk).



      This is one of many childhood dreams that taught me that dreams were based on the autosymbolic nature of the dream state and waking transition rather than having a waking life “interpretation”. The phrase “garden bed” in this case is an indicator that I am asleep and dreaming, though I do not become lucid here other than in the final moments.

      The transition of the preconscious shifts from my dream self’s perspective to seeing the skunk as my emergent consciousness. As with many other dreams, the autosymbolism is directly based on the puzzlement of becoming aware that I am dreaming. (This is inherent to the foundational meaning of all waking process autosymbolism.)

      The unknown girl in the doorway establishes this as doorway waking autosymbolism (a very common waking process). The door is autosymbolism for the impending exit from my dream in the final scene as well as the door to my real-life bedroom (and in fact, I have often used this knowledge for both liminal dream control and deliberately vivifying the dream state). It is a girl around my age due to the downscaling of my mother (who is usually the one to wake me while standing in my doorway).

      The skunk and its intriguing transformation into a question mark represents my puzzlement in liminal space (dark featureless room in this case rather than a more defined autosymbolic liminal space construct such as a porch or parking lot), as well as a form of defense against the preconscious factor in my liminal focus of not wanting to get out of bed just yet even though my dream self’s vague intent is to find my way back to my conscious self identity (which is basically what a dream is).



      I believe that this dream also had a precognitive thread, first validated in 1978 when my parents and I moved back to Wisconsin. The backyard and the back of the house in my dream seemed to match, in appearance, color, and orientation and distance (relative to the 901 Rose Street building we lived in on the second floor years previously), to the house my sister Marilyn (who had lived in the apartment across from my parents and I on Rose Street) was living in years later. (This is curious, as the majority of my dreams otherwise have unique fictitious composites as a setting.) Additionally, my father built cinder block flower boxes (similar to those of my dream) onto the front of our house after we had moved to Florida in 1967.


      Tags: skunk
      Categories
      lucid
    4. Rain Van

      by , 05-08-2018 at 08:49 PM
      Morning of May 8, 2018. Tuesday.



      I allow the awareness of my physical body to become autosymbolic in the rendering of a silver van. I recognize the essence of water as dream state induction, the gentle beautiful rain splashing lightly on me at times from my left through the open window of the van. The van is driving itself without incident even though I am behind the steering wheel. Zsuzsanna is to my right in this dream (and I am sleeping more down on my stomach, so she is to my right side in reality, though I most often sleep on my left side). The van was meant to move through rain, which is the essence of well-being and healing factors, the brain and heart about 73% water at that. We go through a sparse forest of young trees; the trees on each side pass by in both directions. I do not reflect much upon such impossibility. We phase through a chain-link fence.

      I enjoy going down the escalator of Hinkler in the van, with brief puzzlement of what may or may not be a car wash as we go elsewhere. Other people are walking around, shopping. Miniature cars drive above me, on the ceiling, upside-down, their headlights creating a harmonious awareness. The van drives itself through a hall in an unknown building that is just big enough for it to move through. Then in a more augmented vestibular awareness, we fly far above a lake near early evening.

      Rain upon me in the dream state is so pleasing. Whatever vehicle my body becomes auto symbolically, car, van, airplane, boat, there is still flight potential.


    5. “Your Greatest Fear” (Apartment of the Three Witches)

      by , 05-08-2018 at 07:46 AM
      Morning of January 28, 1994. Friday.



      In the continuation of my lifelong focus on establishing a higher understanding and control of the dream state and to vivify settings and experiences, dream control becomes a viable factor. (On the 1 to 5 scale, I am about 80% lucid until the last scene, where I become 100% lucid, and additionally lucidly omnipresent in becoming the dream state itself and my dream is greatly vivified. However, dream control and lucidity are unrelated as, through the virtuous circle effect and lifelong knowledge of autosymbolism, I liminally modulate many of my dreams without my dream self being aware I am dreaming.) It results in a setting that is much like Daisy’s first-floor apartment (yet also has an ambiguous association with the owners’ downstairs living area of the King Street boarding house). (Daisy was an elderly lady that my mother knew. We used to go to her restaurant and have hamburgers when I was young. We also visited her first-floor apartment of which was part of a commercial building near the middle of town. She had a sister who ran a record store where I got all my 45s when growing up.)

      Borrowing the concept of the three witches from “Macbeth”, as well as Wendy the Good Little Witch’s mean aunts - especially as an older vivid childhood dream had been influenced by them (and I often like to borrow content from my older dreams to develop a greater clarity of mind), I willingly set the plot in motion. The witches are more like Halloween witches, though more realistic as reasonable people than in movies or television (or comic books). There is a vague association with Daisy and her sister for two of them, but they do not have their identities. The landlady of the King Street boarding house also seems partially borrowed for the persona of the third. Despite the setting being modeled after Daisy’s apartment in Florida, it actually seems to be located in La Crosse, Wisconsin in my dream’s final scene.

      There is a white door (of which did not exist in real life in either facet of the composite setting) in the north wall of the living room. This is my challenge. In opening it, I will supposedly face “my greatest fear” (that is, my greatest possible dream-related fear, not a real life association) according to the information given by the three witches. They also say it is to be my greatest challenge. There is an atmosphere of sustained respect and intent. Meanwhile, the witches seem to be sewing and knitting things from spiderweb, including a sweater and larger afghan or shawl. They mostly take turns sitting on a couch that faces east.

      Eventually, I go to the door (oriented to the left of their courch, though slightly west of it so that one would have to turn about to their left to see it on the north wall). I am wondering how I will (instinctively) react. I am wondering how the witches will respond to how I react.

      When I open the door, my dream vivifies rather than serving as typical doorway waking autosymbolism. I open the door and walk through and suddenly find myself enjoying a sweet breeze and immediate “rush” of clarity and very pleasant and soothing summer sounds, as if I had stepped into a different dream and different level of unconsciousness. I am on the south side of the street in the 900 block of Main Street in La Crosse (a block north of the King Street boarding house even though it seemed I had just been on the first floor of that building, though again, also ambiguously modeled after Daisy’s apartment as part of the composite). The historical Christ Episcopal Church (of La Crosse) is off in the distance to my left. I hold a vague awareness of wondering if I will see my lifelong “dream girl” (precognitive identity of Zsuzsanna long before we met in real life - and she had made contact with me in real life in March of 1994, about two months after this dream). Nothing happens after this and no one else is around other than a few unknown people in the distance. It seems to be morning (even though the prior situation seemed to be taking place in early evening). I stand there enjoying the warmth and clarity and feel a deep sense of peace, which remains with me as I wake.



      In my intentional practices since I was a toddler, to modulate the dream state with allowance for RAS modulation when biologically necessary, it can easily be determined why RAS was passive here as the three witches. I was already on my way to what would otherwise be doorway waking autosymbolism, though there was no aggressive waking alert factor. Over time, this has remained a factor of both lucidity and liminal dream control, yet I was completely open to facing “my greatest fear” and this is how my dream naturally turned out without attempting to modulate the outcome as in many past dreams.


      Tags: door, love, peace, witches
      Categories
      lucid
    6. An Unusual Nest

      by , 05-05-2018 at 06:43 AM
      Night of May 3, 2018. Thursday.



      In my dream, in full lucidity, I hover in an incorporeal form above a bird nest of mostly straw in early morning daylight. Within the bird nest are about seven gray creatures, with minimal white areas, that are all joined as one mass.

      Looking more closely, I still cannot determine if they are baby birds or kittens, although the form changes from time to time and I can sometimes make out legs or parts of wings. They seem to breathe as one. There is also an association with baby rabbits for a short time.

      Realizing that the autosymbolism is tied in to the typical vestibular system correlation of which is inherent to the dream state itself, my focus shifts very slightly.

      The creatures, still as one singular mass, rise into the air, to become a circle of only sparse fur or hair, hovering about a foot above the nest, and now of only about ten percent of the volume of the original feature. I focus on the change and I think of it as thin gray thread. It continues to hover in the air as a floating horizontally-oriented wreath made of thin thread of the color of Spanish moss.


      Categories
      lucid
    7. A Strange Name

      by , 04-25-2018 at 06:37 AM
      Morning of April 25, 2018. Wednesday.



      In this brief waking dream, I am in an unknown library. A very vivid voice mentions “Shirley Holmes” at the end of a phrase. I believe it relates to appreciation of a book. I consider how it is a play on “Sherlock Holmes”. However, I soon consider that it may be dream state distortion implied to suggest “surely homes”, but I do not see it as having potential meaning other than being happy at home based on the tone of the voice.

      It turns out that there actually is a Shirley Holmes character of which I am certain I had not known of before, or at least never gave any notice to (though again, I am quite certain that I would have remembered a play on “Sherlock Holmes” as such). Even so, the detective essence is a recurring factor of being in liminal space, which represents the enigma of being between identities, dream self and conscious self. This has been a factor since very early childhood.



      Quick update: As usual, this dream seemingly came partly from content from what Zsuzsanna had been thinking earlier, with no way of me knowing. She had seen a game show that focused on Sherlock Holmes. This happens continuously, but I often do not go back to edit the entry.


      Updated 05-03-2018 at 04:37 AM by 1390

      Categories
      lucid
    8. Beyond the Locked Steel Door

      by , 04-23-2018 at 05:52 AM
      Morning of April 23, 2018. Monday.



      While lying in our bed early this morning, I enter light sleep paralysis, which automatically brings me joy, a sense of well-being, and enhanced senses, though there is no imagery. I try to will the rising sensation I usually get upon focusing on this state, which usually begins with a tingling all over my body and an eventual sense of floating. This occurs and I feel weightless. I am aware of Zsuzsanna on my left. I try again. A second wave of tingling pleasure fills me.

      Believing I am at least partly awake now (but still in a vivid dream state), I see a few random comic strip panels as if floating above me, facing downward. I read some words and word patterns, most of which are the typical gibberish, but the letters are very clear. One end panel says “TWIN” and below that, “TWN”. Another end panel begins with “Dream interpretation is misrepresentation…”.

      I believe I am talking to Zsuzsanna about what I had seen, though my eyes are closed for a time. There is a real awakening of which quickly falls back into a false awakening. I seem to be in the Stadcor Street backyard (where we have not lived in years) in late morning, even though it also seems we are inside our present home in bed in semidarkness. (Being aware of two different lighting schemes simultaneously is not that common in my dreams, though it is basically just another aspect of bilocation caused by the conscious self identity being in the dream state.) I still believe that a part of me is awake enough to communicate with Zsuzsanna. A tingling moves through my body again and there is also a flashing. My hand is flashing as well. There is a very intense enhanced awareness. However, looking at the sky, I see a Klingon Bird-of-Prey hovering over the house and a 1950s flying saucer farther to the left. I laugh at my inability to realize that I had not stayed awake during this time. I then wake for a short time for real. My sexuality seems exponentially increased. I am going to have to play around and take advantage of the dream state for a little longer.

      Still in very pleasant light sleep paralysis, I decide to augment the state again and hold my conscious self awareness intact as much as I can. I am then in the bedroom on Barolin Street (where we have not lived since 2008 - the house no longer there in reality). I deliberately become incorporeal for a time and decide to try a typical door experiment. I move through the house toward the front door, which is now a large locked steel vault door. I fly as fast as I can will myself to, headed straight to it. As I know it is a dream, and what the door represents (a liminal space barrier between different levels of consciousness and unconsciousness), I realize that one of two events will happen. Either I will wake upon reaching the door, or I will enter an even higher state of apex lucidity by phasing through it. The latter happens. Time seems to slow down and I phase through the door, enjoying the event. I marvel at the beauty of the event and my enhanced clarity of mind.

      After phasing through the steel door, I find myself in front of an unfamiliar house late at night, looking back at the other side of the door. From here, I decide to walk and also to bring about daylight.

      I reach an area with about ten people to my left, mostly sitting along the side of the road. Most of them are partly undressed. It might be some sort of family gathering. Being in apex lucidity, the dream characters are a bit “off” and “glitchy”. I am looking for Zsuzsanna or a reasonable facsimile of her. I see a girl sitting on an embankment but realize that it is not her. I notice that all of the people have small areas of odd patchy and scaly darker skin. This may be a RAS hybrid of snake (the core RAS modulation factor) and personification.

      The preconscious (as an unknown male of about thirty) takes form and walks toward me and I am very annoyed, as I do not want to wake up yet. I immediately split him in two with the power of my thoughts and the sides fall in opposite directions. His partner comes over and seems upset. She looks down at the ground and seems unsure of what to say. I decide to will the pieces back together and walk off to another area.

      I summon a sexual encounter. It seems to be a version of Zsuzsanna at first, but soon turns out not to be. She is wearing a cat costume. Unfortunately, she also expects me to interact with her virtual pet first, that she pulls out of a cloth bag, which is little more than a Fleshlight with a toy stuffed cat sewn around it. This greatly annoys me and I go elsewhere. (Otherwise, a cat is an emergent consciousness factor, though remains on the preconscious side of the door of liminal space.)

      The people in this new area, half open building, half outdoors, are now taking on a more realistic appearance. Girls walk through a hall in a building of an unknown purpose. I am not sure if it is meant to be a college, hospital, train station, or all of the above. I summon Zsuzsanna and we indulge in pleasure, though I do not undress her. I go through the motions of undoing my pants (which is very strange as I am not dressed in reality and my faux conscious self model should know this). My manhood phases into her (through her clothes) as she leans back against the edge of a wall where a large room is to the left and the hall is to the right and we move together for several minutes. I have zero interest in the people walking around, though they do not regard us anyway. As I wake, I am holding Zsuzsanna close.


    9. “Boat” (effortless auto-scripting)

      by , 03-27-2018 at 09:27 AM
      Night of March 27, 2018. Tuesday.



      As I enter the usual water induction stage, seeing the glimmer of the surface of the virtual water, the essence of sleep, the absence of emotion, the physical release of muscle tension, I notice the setting seems to be near sunset, though there is enough light to see by. It is a beautiful scene of a river. I am not yet “in” my dream, as I have not decided whether to enter here or wait for the next scene to render.

      Still, I mentally say “boat” and nothing more, and my voice sounds much younger in my head.

      I suddenly find myself standing near the bow of a skiff, moving slowly along. I notice a number of cypress knees ahead (which represent dynamics of my muscles that are not fully relaxed), though they do not pose any sort of threat or challenge. (Who wants to be “challenged” in the dream state anyway? - RAS modulation would come soon enough.) It is a beautiful and peaceful scene. In fact, I decide to let my lucidity go at this time and allow myself to enter deeper into sleep.

      Throughout my life, I have read a number of articles about lucid dreaming, none of which have made any sense to me, but then, most of what is written about dreams makes little or no sense at all, and I have focused on the nature of my dreams all my life (and it not only has never been problematic, but I married my literal dream girl, my dreams having given me hundreds of specific clues about her identity, which proved to be correct, and some dreams have healed me in ways which no one would believe).

      Many such articles imply how a person “practices” or attempts to lucid dream. This makes no sense to me, as since earliest memory, it was a natural state of which I did not have to practice or try to do (though I sometimes “set up” dreams, but I have mostly gotten to where I do not even need to do that due to the nature of in-dream auto-scripting). The summoning factor also exists in liminal dream control (dream control without lucidity). This is when the conscious self is aware of the dream state without the dream self being viably lucid (a specific type of synaptic gating), though still commanding the dream’s content at some points, even the RAS mediation of the waking transition to a certain extent (though biological factors and subliminal environmental concerns such as an unknown noise always take priority).

      Apparently, some people ask themselves on and off all day if they are dreaming, which supposedly helps them to recognize when they are dreaming, though in my view would likely corrupt the function of RAS mediation and modulation (reticular activating system), arguably one of the most important parts of the brain, so why tamper with its very purpose? This is something I have never done or needed to (though reading nonsense in so-called dream dictionaries or dream interpretation books causes me to wonder what is going on with people in the world, and I joked about this on Twitter recently). The practice does not even make any sense as this is neither how auto-scripting nor autosymbolism works (or even subliminal conscious identity for that matter) in the dream state itself.

      Conducting “reality tests”, including continuously asking myself if I am dreaming, as the personified subconscious is not the conscious self, makes zero sense. Additionally, dreams are not usually symbolic of waking life as many people claim; they are autosymbolic renderings of concurrent unconsciousness thought processes, for example, if one has to go to the bathroom now, or check the source of a noise now, it is happening now, not eight hours earlier but now, yet for some reason many people cannot seem to grasp this simple idea at all. They take a biological waking alert factor (RAS modulation) like a snake and try to pretend it has waking life relevance (which would only be true in rare cases, such as literal prescience or a literal residual carryover). This is not what such REM thought processes were created for. They are not “recordings” or even viable (active) memories (which also is why regressive hypnosis was exposed as a total misconception years ago).

      Fully understanding autosymbolism and the nature of the dream state is enough to sustain apex lucidity on thought alone. The one and only factor of the dream state is RAS mediation, not “subconscious this” or “subconscious that”.


      Updated 05-22-2018 at 06:25 AM by 1390

      Tags: boat, river
      Categories
      lucid
    10. Contractor

      by , 03-26-2018 at 10:06 AM
      Morning of March 20, 2018. Tuesday.



      In this dream, I mostly remain semi-lucid, though there are a few random distractions. The settings are all unfamiliar.

      At one point, I find myself in an upstairs room in some sort of restaurant. I am near the counter where a cheerful chef asks me what I want. There is a plate of mashed potatoes that I decide to take. I do not eat all of it as I notice there is activity downstairs and I also realize that seems to be the only way out of this room.

      When I am downstairs, my lucidity increases to where I realize that my physical body is not wearing shoes as I sleep. Looking down, I notice that my feet are bare. This is not of much concern to me as I recognize the dream state indicator for what it is. However, just for the sake of presence, even though it is just a dream, I decide to summon shoes onto my feet. My feet are wearing shoes for a time, but they become transparent now and then. The people in the restaurant are all friendly.

      Eventually, I come to a checkout counter in a different building, which might be that of a library. I absentmindedly bump it and it seems very loose and actually comes off and so I place it so that it leans against the side of another part of the service area. I tell the unknown female at the counter that I will fix it and a contractor, an unfamiliar friendly male of about forty, soon appears. There is an unusual segment where unfinished buildings are seen. I mentally will most of the buildings to complete even though there are also several construction workers around.

      I notice that the counter I had been at earlier is now nearly two stories high from what seems to be an outside area. several unfamiliar people are present, including the original unfamiliar female. There is the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity, where it seems I am inside and outside at the same time (a factor of the illusory nature of the dream state in semi-lucid understanding that I am actually inside a house in our bedroom). I slowly wake around this point.



      A checkout counter is common autosymbolism for the waking stage (a metaphor for leaving the dream state). In this case, there was no dominant preconscious factor or RAS mediation or modulation, as the checkout being beyond my reach was a precursor to sleeping for a few more hours.


    11. The Orb in the Mist

      by , 02-26-2018 at 05:04 PM
      Morning of October 7, 2008. Tuesday.



      I am standing near a river in late morning. A mist begins to grow and rise from the river. Later, it seems more like early evening.

      Eventually, the mist is elsewhere with an undetermined orange light within it, implied to be like a miniature sun. Zsuzsanna is present at one point and some of the light within the mist shines through and augments her beauty. (I am unsure if the setting is implied to be indoors or outdoors, a common ambiguous factor of the dream state.)



      My dream begins with the common water induction (water being autosymbolism for entering the dream state, occurring as such at least once in every normal sleeping period for over fifty years). The mist symbolizes the essence of the dream state itself, which obscures the orb of light (conscious self identity). This is very similar to many previous dreams of which utilize the same autosymbolism, typical RAS mediation of which is similar to many dreams I have had about something being wrong with the sun, which is biological autosymbolism for my conscious self identity being incomplete while in the dream state.



      (The first two episodes of the fourth season of “Supernatural” aired the night before, included here for personal date-tracking purposes only.)


      Categories
      lucid
    12. Reptiles and Amphibians

      by , 02-10-2018 at 10:35 AM
      Morning of February 10, 2018. Saturday.



      These segments come from the last two hours or so of sleep, of which there are usually a dozen or more segments, not counting the circadian rhythms autosymbolism of which I rarely document anymore, as it is usually of the same imagery or implication (other than at 07 here).



      04. Zsuzsanna is in our bed, apparently sleeping, though it is on a beach. Ocean waves are rolling in, but not as a threat, more like associations with the healing nature of sleep (as water is autosymbolism for the dream state itself).

      05. Three unknown girls are together, seemingly sharing one drink (in one glass) but they eventually start shifting identities and appearance too fast to really acknowledge with stable dream self focus, about one per second, which is usually an apex lucidity trigger. In this case, I feel that one may be meant to represent Zsuzsanna. However, upon approach, they are all mannequins, which is RAS autosymbolism from the dream self not having a real physical body, the same as with dolls and robots when rendered as such.

      06. I am watching a gondola, trying to decide if I want to be in it, vaguely remembering the autosymbolism for going to another level of unconsciousness (and water reinduction).

      07. I am standing at a window (perceived as our bedroom window), undressed, in semidarkness, looking through rattan blinds. I vaguely consider, in only partial lucidity, that this is “wrong”, without fully realizing that our bed’s head is adjacent to the window in reality (thus no place for me to stand), and that we no longer have the blinds after they were destroyed in the November storm that had torn the roof from our house. I have long believed that, other than prescient threads, dreams typically render everything wrongly so as the perceptions do not become a part of viable unconscious memory as in contrast to faux RAS-based memory, which is specifically used in RAS mediation (neural gating) for sleep-wake transitions. This is in contrast to all the people who write about the “subconscious”, of which nearly all that is written is based on incorrect beliefs or popular superstition.

      11. I am somehow able to see my feet and legs through my bed sheet, which is transparent. Oddly, even though I had been lucid moments before, I am trying to assign this to a real-life featue. Meanwhile, I “remember” that Zsuzsanna is sitting on a beach, waiting for a healing ritual in sleep paralysis. (A beach is a liminal space transition between different levels of unconsciousness and is used as such in mastership meditation.)

      12. I seem to be in Cubitis, and if so, it is likely implied to be a backroad between my old rural home and where I went to school in town. I watch a tortoise as it crosses the road, from my side to the opposite side (west to east). Eventually, four small flames emerge from the tortoise’s shell, one from where each leg had retracted. Apparently, it becomes a miniature version of Gamera (the otherwise giant flying turtle-like monster or kaiju from a series of Japanese films). (This is apparently a carryover from a dream of February 3, where a flame comes from each bottom corner of each boxcar that flies in the air. The association seems to be that, as turtles can symbolize the dream self as being asleep in reality, a boxcar is also a setting where people sleep, such as homeless people in transition. I had not made that obvious connection on February 3.) I look back to see tidal pools and recognize this as water lowering waking symbolism in addition to the return flight waking symbolism (most common form due to ambiguous vestibular system dynamics naturally triggered by being unconscious in REM.)

      13. In my most vivid waking transition, I am in the backyard at Stadcor Street in Brisbane (Wavell Heights), where we have not lived in years. The backyard is bigger and the house is implied to be more north of a much wider side yard area at the south. There are also several trees throughout the backyard, of which were never there in reality. It seems to be early morning and is still somewhat dark out but clear enough to see most detail. I sense the waking alert factor (WAF) of RAS mediation (though in false lucidity, not active), but I wish to explore more. However, RAS will have none of that. A large cane toad is present as RAS. It becomes a pest. Vestibular system ambiguity becomes more dominant and the toad swells up like a puffer fish and moves through the air as if manipulated by a varying wind (but not very realistic, as it moves through the air too slowly to be a factor of wind). At one point, as it slowly randomly blows about in the air, yet I just happen to be in its path, the cane toad’s mouth makes contact with my hand. I continuously remain wary of it, and maintain focus on its parotoid glands, though I notice there is minimal bufotoxin already on its body. It is quite silly really; a puffed-up cane toad being carried about by a nearly non-existent wind and tapping against my arms or hands at times as if it was based on magnetism or as a metaphor of slowed film footage. (I guess it is better than being “surprised” by the core WAF as a vivid rendering of a snake, of which apes and even lemurs probably dream about a lot as well.) I eventually wake.


    13. February 9 2018 Transitions

      by , 02-09-2018 at 01:22 PM
      Morning of February 9, 2018. Friday.



      Today marks my 24th year in Australia and in being with the girl of my dreams, Zsuzsanna.



      I am going to try something new here. As I still have tens of thousands of dreams I have never posted online, including thousands from before I was even a teenager, I might try entries that include sequences of specific types in a series of no more than 12 for a specific part of the sleep cycle. Although I usually recall at least six longer dreams per normal sleeping time, there are many more of different but basic types that are mostly autosymbolic of the transitions between different times during sleep and of which I usually just pass through without drama. I am going to try this to see how it goes, randomly selecting dates, after this one, from over the last fifty years to see how the autosymbolic content has remained unchanged for the most part and perhaps note influences when I can. In some cases, I might include a very short summary of a dream I had already posted if it falls into the sequence of a certain dream type and time. The dreams are listed in reverse order, last one first. (Missing numbers are either related to private sections, abstract stages that cannot be described in words, or too long to post online.) (To quote the Yo-Yo man, “Try to remember everything you passed. But when you go back, make the first thing the last.”)



      12th There is one farmer working in a rice paddy. The water is lower when I look again later. (My dream self vaguely recognizes this as autosymbolism for the cessation of the dream state, water lowering waking symbolism, which has been as such since early childhood, having occurred as such through thousands of my dreams.) I do not speak to him but recognize the essence as RAS (personified preconscious). I eventually become aware that RAS has transmuted from a Filipino rice farmer into a Caucasian cowboy. He stands before a fence (my side), which is the division between dream self identity and conscious self identity, and I walk past him through an open part of the fence to wake. I do not speak to him, he nods, and I nod back. RAS mediation as utilizing a fence is less common than porches and doorways, or even parking lots, but does occur on a regular basis. RAS is typically more dominant or even aggressive when a porch is rendered as the waking space, probably because it implies that my dream self wants to remain “inside” for longer (that is, not wanting to wake yet).

      11th I am walking over a large high truss bridge (unknown location) over water. I do not see any traffic. A bridge is autosymbolism for a transition in unconsciousness and the water lowers to become the rice paddy scene of the next segment.

      08th I am walking through a circular tunnel, which I first consider, with a level of wariness, that it is the Large Hadron Collider. Still, it is mostly a featureless silver tunnel. I eventually consider it as just a transition between different levels of unconsciousness after briefly wondering if it is the inside of an airplane with no contents (including no seats or flat floor). There is sometimes a very vague sense of wariness when walking or sliding down through tunnels, not exactly claustrophobia (as I do not have this in waking life), just some sort of unusual level of awareness triggered by semi-lucidity. This is not usually the case with hallways of which are the same basic autosymbolism (dream state transition), though less transpersonal.

      05th I usually have one dream per sleeping period that is either prescient or of another inexplicable factor. I am in the backyard of our present home and there is some sort of distorted event related to five cats in a large rectangular container full of dirt of which may be a plant pot. I get the impression they are not alive, being half-buried in the dirt, but the feature seems unusual. The cats are not fully grown. There is an odd impression that they might not be “real” cats, for example, a perception of thread instead of cat hair, and an odd sort of composition, and even separated “parts” of cats (though still five in total). After waking, Zsuzsanna had shown me an older cross-stitch she had done (of which she had taken out of a rectangular plastic box this morning, with no way of me knowing that she would be doing this). There were five cats on the item, with different coats, but each of the same appearance and sequence as each from my dream, though she had related the cross-stitch as being prescient of our final number of children and the ratio of girls to boys (based on the appearance of the cat’s coat as certain coats are only common to certain sexes, such as most gingers being male and most tortoiseshells being female). This does not mean there is any symbolic connection to my dream (that is, of the cats being linked to our children), as prescience and shared dreaming is often mixed in with other factors. The symbolism still validates the prescient connection, the cats being in a rectangular box, not being “alive”, and of an unusual appearance of thread (cross-stitch thread) mixed with hair.

      02nd I mentally light a candle to see where I am (unrelated to the apnea events I experience very rarely, which is like mentally trying to will a candle flame back into existence with the fear it has gone out) and it is a small copper-walled room without much space. There is a focus on having recently taken the vocal out of David Essex’s “For Emily, Wherever I may find her”. “What a dream I had. Pressed in organdie. Clothed in crinoline…of smoky Burgundy. Softer than the rain.” Solely the isolated vocal plays from a gramophone, with an eerie echo. Sometimes when I strip the vocal out of a track in real life, it takes on a very unique quality, especially when I add certain kinds of reverb. I was thinking of using the isolated vocal in a new dub track I had already started (not for commercial purposes of course).

      00 Induction stage. I walk down steps with the intention of going deeper into the dream state. They are outdoor concrete stairs in an area near buildings of which are covered with vines. When I was very young, I learned to manipulate levels of unconsciousness by going up or down stairs in dreams (in both lucid and non-lucid situations, as I have recognized dream symbolism for so long, I was manipulating it at six years of age - which eventually became non-lucid habit), which is autosymbolism for traversing the specific level of unconsciousness (and is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation). Outdoor stairs are sometimes modeled after the ones in Veterans Memorial Campground in West Salem (Wisconsin), where I sometimes spent time as a young boy.


    14. Fun with Unreal Flood

      by , 02-06-2018 at 08:22 AM
      Morning of February 6, 2018. Tuesday.



      In this dream, I sustain the water induction stage and create the concept of a world flood, but I am mainly focused on how many different ways the dream state can render it wrongly while remaining vivid and while I remain at least partly lucid.

      The setting seems to be a large city. I have a lot of fun walking and running on the surface of the ocean and riding the tidal waves toward the city, which is mostly already covered by floodwaters. I also go underwater at times (though my dream self can always breathe underwater, as it is just the dream state and the dream self’s “physical body” is just an illusion anyway).

      There are some obvious errors in rendering which I focus on with amusement.

      At one point, I am swimming, but the water’s surface seems solid, though soft. Still, I slide over it on my stomach, somewhat unrealistically. In the distance, I see the tops of skyscrapers, though barely visible, emerge from the water and then sink again. This is based partly on the slope of the water’s surface changing at times.

      At another point, I realize that the skyscrapers are miniature buildings. Some of them are not even as wide as my computer desk but imply a number of windows on each side. Still, I see them as normal buildings. Lesser waves, caused by my swimming, the water dynamics being far more realistic at this point, hit the buildings and I hear glass breaking, with the illogical impression that the small pieces of glass are going down to the bottom (inside) floors of the skyscrapers. I find interest and enjoyment in this situation for several minutes (mainly because it is the semi-lucid dream state and I can create and destroy whatever I want, the breaking glass sometimes sounding more like wind chimes).

      At another point, I find amusement in how there is a dry area between a number of miniature buildings (again, still implied to be a real and normal-sized city) with the water somehow kept back by an invisible wall in this particular area (at least one city block implied), though it is not perceived as an invisible wall by my dream self, only an erroneous dream rendering, which I actually start to make fun of in my dream. That is, I am making fun of the dream state and its inability to be consistent or render the setting realistically in this particular case, actually speaking aloud (my dream self’s voice that is) to the dream itself.

      I play around with the setting and various dynamics for a long time before waking. I mentally will new buildings to appear at times, and then bring the floodwaters to them. There is no evidence that the city is inhabited by miniature people. I am the only one present in my dream manipulation. There is not even any indication of RAS mediation, dominant or otherwise (though this is mainly because it is not the last dream of the sleeping period, where things like needing to wake and go to the bathroom are not yet dominant factors).


      Categories
      lucid
    15. Hilltop Eagle View

      by , 01-27-2018 at 07:44 PM
      Morning of December 20, 2010. Monday.



      This is a short summary of one segment only.



      On a clear mid-afternoon, I am at the top of a high hill upon which there are no manmade buildings or vehicles. I am in a peaceful field with green knee-high grass. There is a verdant forest on two sides, the one to my left being denser. A young girl (who is likely a young version of Zsuzsanna) of about ten, dressed in informal clothes including blue jeans, approaches from the sparser forest and cheerfully starts talking to me. She has binoculars and wants me to look through them. Looking through the binoculars after she passes them to me from my right, I see a large American eagle. It flies in various directions at about three different distances. After time passes, the eagle lands on a branch and looks in my direction, but not continuously. The binoculars seem to dissolve in my hands after it has landed on the branch. Eventually, time seems to pass, though only about fifteen minutes, and yet the girl seems a few years older when I see her again. She stands, holding a tall narrow wooden staff, in the middle of a white sandy pathway with trees on each side.



      This is RAS mediation via the personified preconscious as remaining passive (due to my willingness to watch the eagle through the girl’s prompting) for the rectification of vestibular system ambiguity (preparatorily symbolized by the eagle) in semi-lucidity. The field is autosymbolism for liminal space and the pathway is the emergent consciousness conduit. Being on the hill is autosymbolism for being closer to full consciousness. Zsuzsanna typically appears in my dreams more to my left if she is still asleep and to my right when she is awake, especially if up and walking around. This may be due to sleeping on my left side with my right side openly exposed to my real environment, where RAS mediation is dominantly directed. This is virtually the same waking symbolism, though with different details, as early childhood dreams, including the “Patches” series. It is in direct contrast to “Two Intruders Give Me a Talon” from 2015, where the dominant preconscious comes into liminal space, autosymbolized as the porch of our current home, to force me to grow a condor-like talon on my right hand for the non-lucid metaphorical rectification of vestibular system ambiguity, which is the biological factor of falling and flying dreams. Resupplemented Saturday, 27 January 2018.



      2010DEC20(L3.1) Foundational affirmation: “I am the continuity of my greatest strength and most beneficial viewpoint.”


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